Everything Wrong With Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory (1971) In 20 Minutes Or Less

movie opens up on two minutes of thug factorying through credit i gotta be honest with you i don't think i've seen this movie all the way through in one sitting like i've seen the movie but i forgot all about the weird bull before the action gets started point is they should have started with gene wilder in his weird introduction and it would have saved everyone a lot of time also seriously how did these kids get out at the exact same time i know the final bell is a celebration every day and all that but there's some order to dismissal right listen wonka's got a new one today then why the isn't that displayed anywhere you're the candy store guy who knows exactly what each kid will want after school but you don't have the sense to display the new to try and improve your sails how does he do it my dear boy do you ask a fish how it swims no or a bird how it flies no you don't because those are animals that do not and cannot speak to humans but willy wonka's a human being who could actually answer a question from this kid so get off your high horse candy store clerk and stop being so friendly with strange children while you're at it yo what's up with this free product from the candy man is he just giving these kids a little taste so they'll officially become hooked over the next few weeks jesus christ how much candy are these kids going to eat they're going to ruin their appetite throughout their teeth and grow hairy palms after the spock and all i hope this poor little girl got hazard pay for taking one on the chin here because the actor playing the shop owner either wasn't paying attention or missed his mark also i'm not gonna play the music but trust me that this guy has set candy man well more than five times thankfully the movie spares us the scene where tony todd shows up with a hook hand and cuts the shop owner's dick up there's already more than enough nightmare fuel for kids here i get that charlie's poor and that he can't afford to buy candy treats every day like his schoolmates but dude is just throwing candy at these kids get in there charlie like allison chains you have no excuses that's like 10 papers max that mr jopik is giving charlie what kind of paper route has that few papers to deliver say hello to your grandpa joe but the rest of your people i love talking to poor people where the hell is this movie set it's like a mixture of a new york city neighborhood an english village and a midwestern suburb but there's apparently a giant candy company that calls it home will there be more infrastructure in place up the airy mountain down the rushing glen we dare not go hunting for fear of little men i would give all the sins back if we found out this guy was supposed to be on the set of a hammer studios production accidentally wound up here instead and then mel stewart was like let him say his lines from the other film i'm supposed to have unsettling that will terrify the kids every 10 minutes so we need some kind of filler here ali is late he works too hard for a little boy or at all before you bedridden for the past 20 years it takes a lot of work to keep this family going okay much has been written about the ridiculousness of these old fogies being bedridden for these many years but i've got to ask about the practicalities man are they always in bed how do they pooper pee do they think someone has in the last 20 years even accidentally right what's the cause of their collective disorder and how has no treatment or cure is in within the last two decades has anyone even flipped them over occasionally i can't imagine the size of those bedsores i'm fed up with cabbage water it's not enough dude this will be on the menu of the local hipster restaurant tomorrow and will cost 13.50 from now on i'm going to pay for your tobacco enabling go on grandpa please take it why is he giving the money to grandpa joe regardless of what it's for grandpa joe hasn't been out of that bed for 20 years then he's clearly not the one purchasing tobacco why do you like it because all the other chocolate makers in the world were sending in spies i don't doubt that corporate espionage exists or even that it's prevalent but this mother shutting the whole operation down over simple paranoia makes elon musk look like a well-balanced ceo then suddenly about three years later the most amazing thing happened the factory started working again okay but charlie's been living with joe for presumably his entire life how has this wonka's position not come up before now it's presumptuous and rude do i make myself clear okay let's be honest who the remembers anything about the first part of this movie for charlie is of and even if they do who actually likes this part when you think about this movie what springs to mind the oompa loompas the tour of the factory the everlasting gobstopper or the science teacher being addicted to charlie now charlie you take the nitric acid in the glycerin giving a child the ingredients for nitroglycerin and then telling him to mix them and now details on the sudden announcement that has captured the attention of the entire world entire world look i love candy seriously it's delightful but i think there were many more things going on in 1971 or whenever this is set that would interest the populace much more i mean disney world opened in 1971 npr started microprocessors were invented charlie manson was convicted but hey free candy are we sure that grandpa george didn't pass on a few months ago there are multiple reporters around this table with mics and not one of them picks up this conversation the fake slugworth is having with augustus or no one asks who he is and why he's whispering something to a child also bribing a child with food you know he enjoys this movie's darker than even you think and here's a little gift from grandpa george and me i don't care how wonderful joe is i wouldn't accept anything that's been sitting underneath those covers for any length of time open it charlie let's see that golden ticket wouldn't that be fantastic and also impossible since the student told mr turkentine earlier that the tickets were specifically hidden in wonka bars and that is not a walk-a-bar i know it's the point of this segment but cheating is still a goddamn sin the first girl that finds a golden ticket gets a one-pound bonus in your payback as a seven-year-old child watching this jeff bezos develops his first corporate concept nineteen thousand bars an hour they're shelling seven hundred and sixty thousand have done so far considering that they're in the process of ripping however many open currently how could mr salt possibly have this accurate of a number the great search for wonka bars continues i'm trying to think of anything these days that would have this sort of cultural impact like if hershey's offered this kind of gig there'd be some interest in a lifetime supply and a tour of the factory but they've got a whole theme park dedicated to their stuff so we'll move the needle in this way currently if there was an nft price lower than sotheby's intended an unreleased lady gaga album from 2011 maybe a limited supply of channing tatum dudes i will gladly share with it the grand prize he says what would a computer do with a lifetime supply of chocolate the computer would be awesome at cinemasins televisions meant for purchase are functional and loud enough to be heard through the window of the store in which they're sold in a movie cliche now this piece of gum here is one that i've been chewing on for three months solid and that's a world record but violet just said she's taking the gum out at meal time so there's nothing solid about her gum chewing if anything she's been chewing it intermittently for three months and who would mark that down as a record either go all the way or go home is what my college girlfriend used to say to me and i think that applies here charlie there are 100 billion people in this world intended hyperbole or not there are nowhere near 100 million people in the world and i'm me so after this contest is over you'll be no different from the billions of others who didn't find one holy mom sure you've been doing laundry and taking care of four bedroom grandparents for the last 20 years but maybe this is the reason how about a touch of hope and faith to pass on to your boy you could at least give him an attaboy or something before he goes back to your depressing domicile right the mom sings a song about charlie cheering up but it happens directly after she just dropped some cold ass knowledge on his ass like i would really appreciate the motive and execution of this diddy if it had anything to do with her character also maybe mom would get off from work on time if she didn't waste her time hanging out in the back and singing to no one in particular the name soon to be heard around the universe is mr mike tv look the parents should have known what they were getting in this kid that's addicted to television you don't think a couple with the last name of thanos aren't going to expect their progeny to become enthusiasts of chin supplements wait till i get a real one colt 45. yeah then if your favorite hockey team plays terribly you can shoot the tv instead of throwing a wallet at it like a little pop won't let me have one yet will you pop not till you're 12 son there's no way there would ever be a state that would take this dialogue seriously as actual policy since this was a parody even back in the 70s grandpa that money was for tobacco so did he also spend the money on new legs because how else after 20 years of being bedridden would he be able to get up and walk to the candy store to buy charlie a wonka bar throwing candy wrappers on your wife for non-sexual purposes i have 2 500 here yes when you think about willy wonka and his chocolate factory and the movie that featured it you definitely think about the auction house scene in which the last box was up for bidding try to stay calm they did it for ransom all we can do is wait to hear their demands we interrupt this willy wonka movie to bring you a very special episode of columbo already in progress little boy's got to have something in this world to hope for solid education fair employment eventual health care to help nurture his family romance comics political ambition oh we met this chocolate contest everyone understand math teachers god damn this movie is insufferable i've kind of mentioned it before but wonka himself doesn't even show up until over 44 minutes into this thing and everything before it is awful the story should have been an hour long after school special but was somehow stretched into a full-length feature finding money that could help your family out and choosing to spend it on chocolate gluttony the kids found the last game considering the international fervor around this contest i feel comfortable saddling the scene with a charlie and the ticket survives this soon let's assume the slugworth impersonator and wonka knew precisely where to send the bars with the tickets but how would this guy possibly know that charlie would be the one to get the ticket and then know when he would purchase a candy bar and that this would be the path he would take home i can buy that foe slugworth could get to the news conferences in time to talk to augustus violet and mike and maybe he could even be aware enough to know that mr salt had enough cases to be the one who most likely had the ticket that ended up in virucas town but to find on corner charlie this quickly is all the bullsh uh the shaky cam is so bad in the sequence that i'm pretty sure jason bourne just vomited i can take somebody with me i wish you could go much has been made about charlie not asking his long-suffering mother to join this escapade and it's kind of happy that he wouldn't even offer but after that bullsh non-pep talk she gave charlie last night i don't blame him let her stick around here care for the olds i haven't done this in 20 years which means you're a goddamn charlatan you haven't even tried to get the up on your own two feet until you want a chocolate contest grandpa joe in his hair ears man take one of the grandmas charlie or even the paper salesman also the ensuing song is all about joe even though charlie's done all the work here not to mention the mom taking care of his ungrateful ass for this long how's joe's supposed to be any better than the rest of the kids we see later if these are bedpans that answers my earlier question but also if they are bed bands this is way too close to hang your head and how disgusting does this place smell right now oh yeah just throw a musty coat over that stained nitrous that's covered in what has to be decades of excrement and cabbage soup destroyed us classes the outfit all the way up okay this house isn't huge but it's plenty big enough to have at least two separate beds for the seniors man just because they're bedridden doesn't mean they have to be stacked together like lincoln logs does it hi billy hi maggie hi fish face how do i look this seems like as good a time as i need to remind you the sin as always is kids this montage of the kids waiting outside of the factory makes me really think the movie didn't even walk to willy wonka [Music] why is everyone so put off by this guy sure he's got a limp and a bit of resting wonka face but he's also spectacularly tired and punctual as hell hey mrs tv how do you do what an adorable little boy you have pedantry we have so much time and so little to see wait a minute strike that reverse it i really should take a sin off for this legendary gene wilder performance shouldn't i yeah but it's taking nearly a half a pretty average movie to get to it right and he's not really playing a good character he's just playing a bad character really well what would wonka himself do in this situation he gets off on executed children what am i saying his sadistic ass would give this 30 cents okay are we supposed to believe wonka's actually magic and cast a spell on these hands or that he's got a bunch of employees glory holding their mitts behind this wall in the service of one simple act of service apple updates what about me grandpa sign away charlie we got nothing to lose he's right of course but does fatalism run in this family like a male pattern baldness gene or something oh you should never never doubt what nobody is sure about i was gonna call this a triple negative but i'm pretty sure this entire statement is a negative just because you say some cryptic that sounds witty does not make that witty boys and girls doctor who is that i'll buy that the door that opened into the chocolate room is much bigger than the door that looked like it opened into here but not that the room that they were standing in while waiting for it to open is that big i have to admit that i love this song but i cannot tell whether or not the movie considers itself a musical like this is a delightful tune but did we really need the grandpa's jig mom's lament this movie seriously cannot properly identify itself and it's driving me batty dipping it's mixing my chocolate it's actually churning my chocolate we know the ultimate purpose of wonka's plan is to find a successor but he doesn't know who that will be right now right so why is he giving away his trade secrets to people he's pretty sure are suspect sure the kids start dropping like flying shortly but he doesn't kill them so chances are they and or their parents will talk at some point snoswankers for mrs knieds what kind of rubbish is that i'm sorry but all questions must be submitted in writing i can't hold out any longer gene wilder absolutely owned the 70s when it came to comedy and his performance here deserves at least one sin off in the greatest of secrecy i transported the entire population of oompa-loompas to my factory here uh i don't exactly know what you would call this forcible migration of the oompa loompas even if it was presumably done for their own safety but i know that even thinking about it makes me uncomfortable so let's add 10 sins while i make an anonymous donation to the aclu augustus please don't do that my chocolate must never be touched by human hands that doesn't seem like a very good selling point look but don't touch just describe this charlie really thought that flimsy candy flower would help augustus we're supposed to be rooting for charlie right spence is terrible he's gonna go this time i hope it'll last edgy yeah yeah yeah the oompa loompas are psychopaths and have a song queued up for each tragic maiming of a contestant but what i'm wondering is why the movie goes all electric company for on-screen text when it's never happened to this point also wonka clearly said the chocolate couldn't be touched by human hands let alone dipped into by an entire boy of questionable cleanliness why the lumpa is even still working on this batch instead of draining the river what kind of place you run in here anyhow wonka i don't know what's worse that this question is asked just now or at all where did that gummy bear violet's holding reappear from she was shown throwing it to the ground just a second ago this is a gummy bear of lies the boat has the correct number of seats for the remaining children and parents which means if augustus doesn't fall into the river there wouldn't have been enough room for everyone how does no one notice this and not start freaking out immediately stranger danger stranger danger spitting's a dirty habit i know a worse one he's almost definitely referring to violet picking her nose but the way wonka says this line makes me think his disgusting perverted chocolate glazed brain has thought of something much worse than we can imagine oh cool nightmare boat sequence which serves no purpose in this goddamn story except to permanently damage several generations of children that wanted to watch a simple movie about an eccentric chocolatier no touching no tasting no telling okay when they started the tour wonka was really excited to say and almost everything you'll see is eatable edible but now that they're in a different part of the room that also has candy they're not supposed to just sample the goods he didn't specify that the edict from before was just for the first room so i'm just saying these sorts of mixed messages can lead to the eventual tomfoolery so it's not fall gives it a little kick i have a feeling they can fuse the invention room for the spot in the script for mel brooks's discarded puns what's it do you like to see god the shot of gene wilder has been meme so much that it's almost lost its gloriousness is a great comedian during the height of arguably his most indelible performance and a bunch of blows on the internet had to run the image into the ground so i'm off to send this for those aforementioned clothes but i still love your gene i wouldn't do that i really wouldn't you know it's not like wonka's master plan was to show that kids are greedy and needy and seedy but he somehow found all the worst kids outside of charlie to invite to his factory and it's pretty goddamn annoying but your face is turning blue violet you're turning violet violet she's not she's turning blue which is exactly what you just said before choosing to play literary mind games with your daughter what's wrong with these parents i got a blueberry for a daughter that line reading sounded like mr beauregard threw his voice into john candy's ghost i can't be certain but i'm pretty sure this room is where kovitz started i don't care what decade this is i don't believe for a second that mr salt would let a strange man put a hand on his daughter no matter how irritated she is let's take a drink charlie nobody's watching what about these characters would lead us to believe they'd sneak a sip of this experimental liquid they've been model citizens until now and have witnessed all the other consequences firsthand the only reason this scene exists is to cause artificial conflict at the end of the movie and to workshop a few burp noises it's easy to forget that charlie is actually the main character of this movie title doesn't do us any favors but having this be the first time there's any focus on charlie in the last roughly 25 minutes also doesn't help movie doesn't know how to protagonist even if they were stupid enough to swipe some of the seltzer they can see the giant death fan at the top of this tube that they're shooting at right please turn off the fan oh a belch of convenience come on let's get you up to the others how do they have a clue where the others are they've been doing this on their own for several minutes and this factory is intentionally a maze it's an educated indicator we will work the witty word play while you willfully wilt away grandpa joe hey daddy i want your golden goose here we go again i know charlie and if she doesn't get her way she will most likely erupt in anger one could save a rook assault is just a volcano girl i want one i want a golden ghost and just like that the movie decided a musical again despite no human singing and a goddamn thing since wonka introduced us to pure imagination sweetheart daddy's coming but why is the chute still open for mr salt to jump into it closed back up again immediately when the egg went down it is this gonna go fast grandpa sure charlie has got more gas in it than a politician grandpa joe was so quick with this punny response that i assume he's had that one holstered for many years on the off chance someone would cue him up this beautifully i shall now send this chocolate bar from one end of the room to the other i never realized how convenient all these set pieces are for most of the kids maybe wonka would know a kid who likes to eat chocolate would win at least one of the tickets but he luckily got a girl as addicted to gum as violet a girl is spoiled and stubborn as farooka and a boy is addicted to television as mike is yes it's possible he would have other rooms to use on different fetishes but this factory is only so big and my addiction is sinning so it could change the world no kidding between the ability to send food anywhere on the planet and the gum that's a three-course meal wonka could have ended global hunger easily by now maybe if he spent less time torturing children and setting up elaborate pranks he could actually make a difference i'm famous i'm a tv star mike might not be sharp but who watches a ton of tv and would know that him being seen by four people and a few oompa loompas did not make him a tv star not only is this oompa loompa dance in a different rhythm and scale from the other ones it's totally out of sync and has driven me insane for years and i can finally send it what happened what did you expect the deal was for a tour of the factory and a lifetime supply of candy the first part is done and i'm pretty sure the oompas could set up the second did charlie go into this expecting to be gifted the entire enterprise you lose good day sir you're a crook this grandpa joe seriously assume zero blame for this outcome he was the one that prompted charlie to even try the soda so he could at least use that to try and reason with wonka mr wonka so if charlie didn't bring the gum stopper back would he not have won even if he did keep the candy does that mean he would have taken it to slugworth he might have just wanted to have it as a tree one day and what if joe and charlie had just left without even confronting wonka i know wonka wanted to make sure but considering how determined he was to have someone to leave the factory to could have made the outcome less torturous for charlie to figure it out what is the purpose of this function of the walk vader shatter your roof and let the weather and whatever wild animal is wandering by inside that's why i decided a long time ago that i had to find a child are you sure you don't want to strike and reverse that statement whoa what you have teeth you are not content with the stories so i was obliged it's petty mr jopek you're right there you are thanks say hi to your mother for me okay we're mixed together in the right way as only i know how what do you think it makes i don't know sir i like that i don't know that's nice mr hand will i pass this class gee mr spicoli i don't know all right what happened you all know me know how i earn a living [Music] would you like us to let go well then come on which way i believe i can fly then i can fly so i believe shut down all the garbage mashers on the detected level will you see a copy shut down all the garbage bags on the level what did you do ray oh no no no don't speak please don't speak please don't speak no no no go go gentle scorpio go

Channel: CinemaSins

Views: 992,629

Rating: 4.8943882 out of 5

Keywords: wave jockey job, cinemasins, cinema sins, everything wrong with, eww, movie, review, movie review, willy wonka, willy wonka and the chocolate factory, everything wrong with will wonka and the chocolate factory, cinemasins willy wonka and the chocolate factory, willy wonka and the chocolate factory 1971, charlie bucket, willy wonka recap, willy wonka and the chocolate factory reaction

Id: zinU_PaHY1o

Length: 21min 10sec (1270 seconds)

Published: Tue Jul 06 2021

Reddit Comments

[u/ROBOT_B9]

Can't wait to see what sins the Tunnel Sequence is going to get.

[u/TheDynamicDino]

This was brilliant, what a great watch.

[u/No1_1mportant]

Jeremy pointed out that there wouldn’t of been enough seats for Augustus Gloop and his mom on the boat ride and I never noticed that.

[u/Coug-Ra]

“Once upon 1993, I was in a children’s theater production of this movie. It was one of the most formidable and enjoyable experiences of my youth. And, my life. I’d also like to note that many kids from that cast and crew, in one fashion or another, stayed in the arts. As did many from the RJJT program. The magic of the stage is a very real thing. Hashtag BumblebeeTunaForWarmups.” gnid gnid gnid

[u/BionicTriforce]

I dunno if I've ever gotten angrier at any sins moment than 'Who remembers this early part, and who likes it?!'

Me! I loved it. The dry teacher, the goofy interviews, the woman not willing to sell her wonka bars for her husband's life, the robot. You need that build up so that the factory itself is worth it.

[u/KushKong420]

This is random but it took me many years before I got the “I’m telling the computer EXACTLY what it can do with a lifetime supply of chocolate” joke

[u/an_ordinary_platypus]

I could’ve sworn they did this movie already.

[u/jjvolfan1]

Gene Wilder's complete lack of concern for the kids AND their parent's rational response to the horror of losing a child is possibly the greatest piece of satire that's ever been written, acted, or enjoyed. Capitalism in a nutshell. Willy Wonka is a dystopian nightmare, hands down. But funny lmao