Everything Wrong With Godzilla vs Kong

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go grab it and smash on the fake sky wall next to it why does he throw his angry i know you have me truman showed trees so high in the sky also also why hasn't kong thrown two or even three or four trees at the fake sky and then latter stepped them up and punched his way out of this [ __ ] forest government containment was right there also outpost 236 you have 236 outposts checking out giant beasts in secret this would have played better if you'd named it outpost 16 christ dr andrews did you see that how could she miss seeing it the habitat's not gonna hold much longer why because he threw a tree javelin into the screen one time hasn't this habitat thing been going on for years if kong was regularly pounding on the walls of this thing and busting up i'd understand this but this is an isolated incident and it appears to be because he hates this little girl so so much we need to start thinking about off-site solutions the island is the one thing that's kept him isolated if he leaves godzilla will come for him so wait what's the problem again kong can't leave skull island unless you take him off of it and as long as he chills on the island godzilla won't [ __ ] with him i know you're worried about the biodome around the island getting destroyed but kong can't leave the island on his own can he the whole theory of an ancient rivalry stems from ewe mythology i'm very happy you got to pull out your ewe knowledge for no reason in this exchange i mean we all know they'd fight if they saw each other that's common sense a godzilla kong fight is inevitable not because of some ue mythology but because of warner brothers bottom line he's gotten too big over time this environment won't sustain much longer it's too unstable why is it too unstable maybe you can stop letting little girls near king kong and showing the voodoo dolls you made of him the mother taking a shower and about to go hunting completely happy with his life until she showed up handwriting circling important notes super focus egyptian doodles it's weird that they call the dead monsters in this universe defeated like scientists created a world federation for monster fighting complete with rankings and title fights and betting movie opens on a literal march madness style monster bracket that leads to the final of godzilla vs kong and that's just stupid if this is supposedly an ncaa bracket khan got here on some suspect fights because godzilla did most of the killing to make it into this mythical championship watching an evil company's innocuous corporate video before we see how evil they are cliche no don't eat that does he know this apple makes you look like an [ __ ] too the director said let's make your character eat that other asshole's apple it'll make you look like even more of an [ __ ] at this point don't you know that you can't kill a godzilla like this i send pilots on this fruitless exercise unless you personally hate them bernie survives this only eight people died in that attack [ __ ] you while the damage was largely contained to the u.s headquarters of apex cybernetics wow that's weird a monster that has protected us in the past went after one corporation and we're not asking why that is godzilla must just hate all of humanity now for no reason there's no other explanation for it really why else would godzilla flash an intimidation display if there wasn't another titan around that podcast is filling your head with garbage did kyle chandler not learn anything from the last movie how is he on board with the godzilla hates people now explanation did he get washed in those thunderbird tears from fantastic beasts despite a creepy guy sneaking into his office like this he doesn't see any red flags to what this guy proposes next magnetic imaging from one of our new satellites okay did the movie just invent a way to see the earth's inner core also why does it look like a plasma ball i'm sorry about your brother this means nothing to me see all of our forward scans suggest a habitable environment down there oh he talks about how his brother hit a patch of gravity in the earth's core a whole planet's worth and is that in the last movie king of mobsters or whatever i don't remember and that maybe says something am i supposed to know who this brother is the kong whisperer is that why they built a whole truman show fake environment for him to live in while being observed because he had been whisper tame power source in hollow earth it's there we just need kong to bring us to it i honestly don't understand why they can't just take this awesome ship that apex built and go look around for the power source first before doing something insane like dragon kong off his island to lead them there if you've got all this rad imaging equipment why can't you find this stuff on your own okay okay okay you actually think this is a good idea after godzilla came to the surface to knock out one corporation the motives of which haven't even been investigated yet they're a scientist okay king kong on this barge raises many questions like how do they lift him how do they get him on the outside of the habitat what kind of tranquilizer knocks them out long enough for the raising the carrying and the chaining handcuffing wow who's the idiot who came up with this idea self-deprecating screenwriters now the gravitational inversion will be quite intense our best guess is that on entry it'll feel like bungee jumping wait wait wait i haven't even tested out the vehicles that are going down into the earth man this plane gets better by the minute the myths say that their ancestors fought each other in a great war the myths the myths [Music] hypothermia no they're not seriously is it really time for kong to have an e.t moment e county yeah so sad and angry back home too give us a [ __ ] anymore jesus kong's even like king kong also it's not that i don't believe that kong couldn't learn how to sign it's just i feel like since kong skull island took place in the 70s and we haven't seen kong again until now they really short changed us on his character development and everything that's happened in the last 40 or so years there's like a whole movie missing that would have made this moment better it's like the latest planet of the apes franchise starting with dawn instead of rise he's not a weirdo he's a covert investigator and he's the only one looking for the truth i said the same thing to my roommates before answering a craigslist ad in 2005 and let's just say that he was a weirdo and the truth he sought was biological in nature having this many air fresheners hanging from your mirror he consumes a ton of bleach he drinks bleach showers with it you looked at him weird for even suggesting he drinks bleach but you're the one who chose the word consume you can't use the wrong word and be a dick when someone misunderstands what you say hey you saw bleach your plan was to go to every store you could find that sells bleach and hope that someone behind the counter would remember a guy buying cases of it and knows where he lives before we go any further tap or no tap this guy with super important information only does business with people who shun tap water but he takes their word for it so you can be sure he's serious about it i think he targeted the apex facility i'm at the same opinion i feel like everything in this conversation should already be established he does a podcast she listens to the podcast can we get to the part where you want to break into apex now then he must have known to keep his sign language a secret at the beginning of the movie so that he could surprise the audience later instead of just signing to the little girl that he was angry he threw a big ass tree spike into the dome ceiling i just want us to step outside the movie right now for a second and look at that ridiculous three-step jacket collar you know gia's parents were killed on the island when the storm took over the island it wiped out the native people the kong saved her and only her somehow but now i'm wondering when this storm hit because this girl was like seven or eight years old monarch built a giant dome around the island that had to have taken years there's so much missing from this backstory that i'm inclined i think it's a total lot the little girl with some weird special relationship to kong is now going to sense godzilla's approach like she's a magic eight ball or some these dumb shoot artillery and or missiles at godzilla even though it's well established at this point that either a they don't hurt him or b they actually make him stronger from this point forward if i see any missiles getting fired at godzilla i'm going to add 50 sims without comment if this worked they wouldn't be going down to the bowels of the earth to find the kind of energy that can kill him here's where the movie starts jump editing so hard and fast that it literally lose track of who is what and why is where it takes more than 40 minutes for godzilla vs kong ok so kong appears to be finally back up on khan was struggling with the handcuffs like crazy but suddenly and without eating a magic mushroom he doubled up in strength to break out of this metal collar it's not part of the 50-cent bargain for kong to throw a jet at godzilla but it's equally worthless kong and godzilla kill a ton of innocents here but they get a pass while superman and zod get taken to task [Music] i honestly don't know why godzilla didn't do this before it's a perfect kill move he knows after millennia fighting that punches don't work so jeez go ahead and open with this move this won't end until one of them submits thing my college girlfriend's roommate said while watching our first sex somehow made its way into the movie guns engines shut it down right now if we do that we're dead what have you seen from the last five minutes that makes you think the guns were working and let go of the engines in this fight anyway this better work [ __ ] you dude like you had any other plan superior officers man wait this asshole's just leaving because they turned off the boats and kong's taking an injury timeout surely godzilla is smarter than that right man zilla knows exactly how to inflate the run time doesn't he all right matt had down the rabbit hole this is a giant facility that got destroyed by godzilla but yesterday and there's no security around this place surely apex would have hired some people since they have all these secrets here this elevator works and or requires no id badges so they're just gonna stand on this transport that's going over 600 miles an hour without being the least bit strapped in i mean i thought i was a badass on a subway train when i didn't have to hold on to the pole but this is next level what is it with movies and slo-mo and the helicopter rotors they've been doing it for 60 years look i don't think this is possible giving them the benefit of the doubt they were worried about moving a minute ago because godzilla was going to come back if they did so how do they get a bunch of helicopters and transports out to the boats and not alert godzilla what was happening the shot looks cool and everything but think about the absolute [ __ ] torture it would have taken to pull this off dropping a giant net on the ship and then getting kong inside it and all the movement required godzilla has been wearing his headphones when they all came out to do this kong doesn't immediately sign back how am i going to fit in that tunnel it's not working you've literally been trying for 15 seconds sit the [ __ ] down sure she is the only one that can talk to kong but i'm not sure that justifies bringing the first grader on the mission to the center of the [ __ ] earth it's really a shame that the trailer for this movie didn't say this summer get ready for middle earth literally god damn it enough with the try to make you think it may be crashed only to have it come up over the horizon dramatically [ __ ] we have seen it a million times it holds zero tension let me see if i have this correct they are currently inside the center of the earth which they correctly hypothesize was some kind of habitable hollow new zealandish place where these giant titan animals might have originally come from are you trying to make me use my imagination because that's not gonna work all delta prepare to attack i said prepare to attack kong my son go to the place where the mountain touches the mountain oh god that stinks does apex seriously not clean up all the skull crawler parts after mecca godzilla does his thing if they don't why is there so little left behind they leave just enough around to give a movie effective foreshadowing don't they hey that kaiju movie ripped off that robot kaiju thing from the other kaiju movie okay so we now know that apex is sending these skull crushers from their underground lab in pensacola to hong kong so they can test mechagodzilla my question is why don't they just create the skull crushers in hong kong is it so they can have these nifty transports that take the protagonist exactly where they need to be for the movie to happen oh sweet apex built this handy bunker just in case you needed an out of nowhere place to escape during the mecca godzilla tests system only reached 40 power i know as expected don't worry once the follower sample is uploaded our power troubles will be over so why do another useless test when you've got people finding a better power source this is why godzilla attacked the apex facility they're trying to replace him why does godzilla have a union job godzilla's just made an abrupt change in direction he's moving very fast projections show he's likely headed to hong kong when i went to watch this movie called godzilla vs kong i expected it to be a fight versus king kong not hong kong this movie is like john carter's journey to the center of pacific skull island ascending oh he has a storm breaker but with the testicle handle ah cool was kong get to be aquaman now i guess i shouldn't be shocked at this point that any [ __ ] can walk into any room at an apex facility and see whatever they want to see what in the charlie day of science shenanigans is going on with this ice monster zero so it has no calories or sugar but tastes slightly better than diet monster godzilla is addictive sailing holy is kyle chandler already in hong kong wasn't he in florida when he found out about godzilla's sudden turn towards hong kong does everybody have those nifty shipping transports that apex does i don't understand he led us here where is it oh don't worry something insane is gonna happen right after you say this like the movie is giving you answers on demand this kong puts this ancient stormbreaker into its axehole i'm realizing this isn't really godzilla versus kong it's godzilla humanity up while kong turns tomb raider and a couple times they fight each other it's the axe it's drawing radiation from the core like it's charging you see this axe needs a charge so it glows blue then kong finds a place in the floor to charge his axe and the floor lights up white decides to do that now instead of 20 minutes ago when comp picked up the axe is beyond me but it's perfect timing for everything that's going on in the movie so who am i to judge oh that's what we do here sorry i never thought i'd say this about a movie with a giant eight fighting a giant nuclear lizard but this movie has too much extraneous sci-fi this is a power beyond our understanding you can't just drill into it why do you think you're here right now dr andrews and they say they were coming down here for this exact purpose did you think they're going to be ambassadors of earth's surface when they came down here also this is all your fault energy signature incoming we should be able to recreate it soon so they're not even stealing the energy from hollow mother earth they're just creating a copy of it and downloading that is sean parker working for apex is this a torrent you wouldn't download an energy signal would you i mean i have to carefully allocate computer resources to render a video in 4k but these [ __ ] are just downloading an energy signal and i guess after you have the signal you can just type it into a computer and energy manifests out of the thin blue air god damn it this is the dumbest thing i've seen in ages they are downloading an energy signal signal you can't strip it for parts hold it is this necessary is dr andrews even a threat to them were they worried she was going to tackle the robot that just drilled the energy out of the ground so godzilla responds to the energy call from hollow earth and his death breath reaches all the way down there through all the crust and mantle and all that and just coincidentally doesn't hit the good guys are you joking also is the movie saying that godzilla's directly over the energy source and hollow earth or um under it or am i not thinking fourth dimensionally enough to understand how he can do this seems really ultra super convenient for everything in the story okay that was awesome the last time we saw madison and crew they were at the giant monster zero school so where the [ __ ] is this why would there be a panel on the floor that allows you to enter new sections of the building from wherever the [ __ ] they're coming from also madison sees the people on the other side and instead of just going back down she decides to walk around in full view assuming that she can just lock the doors from here and she's right even if you're locked inside you know there's going to be some secure i can't even finish that sentence who am i kidding right after i laugh about them having security because they clearly don't here's security this fight ain't half bad but who are we supposed to root for and there's no way either of them are gonna die so this fight has about as much a stake as the ones in captain america civil war i'm gonna add a sin here for every citizen of hong kong that i estimate was killed in this battle i know they said they were evacuating the city but there's no way enough people got out in time to avoid massive loss of life kong's energy act sucks in godzilla's energy breath then we're learning about these capabilities on the fly i guess it's fun looks like round two goes to kong how do you know that it's round two you just got here godzilla had left us in peace you provoked him into war by building a robot godzilla that's not a provocation for war yes they connected the robot zilla to the skull of the dead gidmor akanestan but if you're gonna start telling me all these titans can mind sense when other titans are being experimented on i'm gonna tell you to lick my shoe preferably just after i remove it from your ass it's not that i don't enjoy monsters beating monster ass i've seen it so many times by now and neither of these two have provoked much of an emotional connection in me it's just punching and bright lights and loud roars does nothing for me this is basically the giant monster version of the villain expositing their entire plan to the hero instead of just killing them and ending it already it's not only godzilla's equal but he's superior unless we forget the same versus the same stuff been going on for a long time godzilla and mechagodzilla have fought before in other movies but since we see it so much these days this is just piling on i thought he was a kilbot designed to kill godzilla but then he killed his maker and is now up here killing humans and even though godzilla was just killing humans himself i guess he's going to switch sides solely because of a metal doppelganger showing up is that what's really happening well i guess kong and zillion will kill the bot and fist bump and divvy up the earth into halves that they can each rule missiles don't work on godzilla but they still built a ton of missiles into the mechagodzilla well this is as good a time as any to teach gia about life and death no wait i thought that power source that apex drilled was in the ship walter's daughter was in and kong smashed that to bits and while apex synthesized the power after being uploaded or whatever how do they have the power source in this ship honestly so much went down right at the moment that power source got collected i'm not even sure his daughter got it either but it's absurd that the so-called protagonists have it literally the end of the last harry potter movie only with giant lizards instead of pliant wizards so he just landed that heave on kong and flips a switch and expects that power source to just get inside him somehow she signs godzilla not enemy and that's great and all but when did she and kong work out a sign for godzilla king kong has indeed seen lethal weapon and i can cross that off my fan fiction list why does mechagodzilla keep dragging godzilla on the ground when he's got that red hot spicy sauce laser that just obliterated godzilla's atomic breath a minute ago you've got the tools to end this man that's teamwork this is the absolute most bonkers pornography i've ever seen josh you have to do something yes your puny humans are going to sway the battle of three large titans i'm only partially being sarcastic i believe this is going to happen this mother works i thought that mechagodzilla had a mind of its own after he got the power injected inside of him what does the satellite have to do with him anymore while i watch kong nearly collapse after that epic fight i'm wondering how are there any buildings left in this city madison successfully finds her dad in hong kong in the middle of all this bull did monarch just steal apex's technology to set up a permanent camp in hollow earth i know apex was evil but you're committing theft by stealing their heaves right amy wants green drop drink thanks again to better help for sponsoring this video betterhelp makes it easy to connect with a licensed professional counselor from the 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help me help you [Music] now i spent 10 years on that island studying him i met this six-year-old child with this blank pale emotionless face and the blackest eyes the devil's eyes [Music] bernie i think we can help each other won't you help me i feel i'm pushing a rock up hill and enter the abex titan of my own hand the power of the sun in the palm of my hand [Music] don't run away from your feelings

Channel: CinemaSins

Views: 853,838

Rating: 4.8507619 out of 5

Keywords: wave jockey job, cinemasins, cinema sins, everything wrong with, eww, movie, review, movie review, godzilla vs. kong, kong, king kong, godzilla, monsters, mechagodzilla, sins, mistakes, flubs, nitpick

Id: oAMyAj_xGes

Length: 21min 40sec (1300 seconds)

Published: Tue Jun 29 2021