Everything Wrong With Falcon and the Winter Soldier - "Season 1"

[Music] ironing your clothes seriously who does this anymore you're going to throw a jacket over that shirt anyway this is about a cap successor not an iron man the criminal organization known as laf is targeting captain vassan one of our military liaisons lau i share the confusion sam another acronym for an organization in the mcu does this one stand for lazy as f because that's what all this acronyming is starting to feel like and sam this has to be subtle character says something has to be subtle because it will be oh so hilarious at how not subtle it will actually be cliche not looking before you leap there's like a whole saying in everything sending intel to your hud right now i love how tech in the mcu just works every time to send extremely complex data and audio despite loud environments or long distances and when i say love what i actually mean is i am severely doubtful of it did everyone brush up on all the previous captain american films and bring your notes because we're barely four minutes in and we're already having to remember who the bat rock is and why we should care okay fun fact this is why everyone working at shield headquarters has to wear lead-lined clothing falcon is an equal opportunist when it comes to taking a peek instructions from inside an nba rules committee meeting about james harden somehow makes it into the script red wing engage considering the high noise interference environments it's used in i'm calling it a design flaw that engaging red wing is done with voice activation it should be via glove or arm button unless of course it's just an excuse to say red wing so the fan clan can excrete some pleasure fluid also i love how red wing just knows that engage means go use your genital laser to cut an exact hole out of this plane at a very specific door seam with no further instruction nice of bat rock to be standing right by the doorway so falcon could get the easy attack on him and if bat rock was standing right there when the door flew open shouldn't even been sucked out of the plane with it pilot gets hit by a ricochet bullet and immediately dies and slumps onto the controls to make the plane dive to increase the tension of the action scene cliche we're playing all the hits today kids geez how fast this guy secure this hostage and get into a full jumpsuit after he knocked falcon out by checking notes kicking him so he hit his back on something it's impressive for sure after the pandemic i swear it'll take me 20 minutes to get into a pair of jeans let alone don a full body flights it with a strap-on hostage laughing about a basic front flip when human life is on the line okay fine this action scene is pretty amazing it's clear that marvel is refusing to pull punches with this stuff and putting resources into making it look spectacular i guess i'll tip my sin cap with a quick removal well done still the guys in these helicopters not being able to hit sam even once is utter [ __ ] and i will be sinning that red wing get him off but you didn't say engage engage is like the pleas of the robot world you have to say the magic word look i don't have time to go all mythbusters on this move and figure out the complexity of matching the three-dimensional movement of two independent bodies one of which has giant blades creating enough downforce to stay in flight so let me just say nope keep going we're close well okay i mean i was planning on landing the helicopter right here but if you say so i will go ahead and what was it again oh right keep going also the commander told sam earlier on the plane they were already in restricted airspace so why does batroc think traveling into a different restricted airspace will make a difference this face ah heads up you're about to fly into libyan airspace not sure why this matters because once again the commander told sam that they were already in restricted airspace they're already committing all the illegals how many choppers do these random terrorists have we've seen at least two blown up and this third is followed by a fourth loaded to the gills with missiles for a last-second tension builder i'm just trying to figure out the plan here hijack a plane take a hostage and then was the plan always to jump from that plane even though they had control of it they had all the equipment to do so but if falcon never shows up they just fly direct right but still they have a flock of fully loaded choppers at the ready just in case i mean there's planning ahead and then there's omniscience and this feels more like the second also now is as good a time as any to remind you that hawk fly abandoned an unmanned plane to just continue on its way flying over the desert sure they showed us it went to autopilot but that sucker was flying to libya too and it's never mentioned again and i need to know how did they stop that plane this works working on next level high-tech equipment outdoors in a sandy environment online there's just been a lot of a lot of stuff about steve actually crazy crazy conspiracy theories some people they think that he's in the secret base on the moon mcu and on showing us recognizable washington dc architecture but still feeling the need to splash washington dc across the screen sam even said in the last scene he was headed there i appreciate they're giving this shield the white glove treatment but papadoc was clearly putting his fingerprints all over that thing i say you're gonna make me ask why didn't you take up the mantle damn it's almost not fair that marvel can just bring in don cheadle off the bench for a few minutes and add this much gravitas to the proceedings in fact it's so not fair that instead of taking another sin off i'm adding one for how not fair it is so deal with it half hour before last call i can't guys i have to prep for tomorrow's session we've seen a lot of stories on the dangers of alcohol but here we have a situation where going to get a drink would have saved a guy's life i actually can't say how i feel about that messaging but i do appreciate the tip to flip the storytelling norm any second now bucknutz is going to burst through this painting but why does he wait if he's going after this group bust the hole grab your guy and get the buck out of there also considering the winter soldier is borderline unstoppable does he really even need to perform this kind of subterfuge his target is now more aware of the attack than he would have been if bucky had been hiding in the guy's room or dropped down from the ceiling and the target has a better chance to get away because bucky has created the obstacle of drywall that didn't need to be there sleeping on a hardwood floor i said hardwood you're a civilian now maybe the show will explain how this is possible maybe it won't but i can't imagine there is any explanation for how a murderer on the level of bucky barnes would be allowed to freely walk amongst the population regardless of the fact that he was manchurian candidated he still killed a ton of people i like bucky i like seeing sebastian stand in the mcu but i will never be able to buy he can just go get some baby back ribs at his local chili's whenever he wants to this could have been handled differently this should have been handled differently with your history the government needs to know that you're not gonna gonna what root route for the home team what was rule number two nobody gets hurt it's a big one then why isn't it rule number one james buchanan barnes would be excellent at tv sins look i know that you have been through a lot but in case you confused it with de la croix that you drink even though it tastes like you're licking the bottom of a swampy rhinoceros foot uncle sam these kids solely exist so that someone gets to call him uncle sam and everyone can turn to their neighbor while watching you go get it uncle sam like the military but shut up cece we all get it try the whole online dating thing it's pretty crazy also there's that whole you're a former hitman for hydra thing perhaps remove the part of your profile that reads former hitman for hydra but now i say hell no to that hmu speaking of that why does no one recognize bucky i know when he was winter soldiering he had the half mask but there have been pictures of him in newspapers without the mask i'm not saying he's tom cruise trying to walk down the street in peace but sam out of falcon gear in torres had some random guy walk up to them and call them avengers if there are strangers that know torres there's surely plenty of people who would recognize bucky tiger photos i mean half the time i don't even know what i'm looking at it's it's a lot sound like my dad your dad laments that dating apps are full of tiger photos keep a couple games around for boring chefs and i picked up battleship and i swear it has nothing to do with your previous connection to war or any thematic ideas of subterfuge the show we're on is playing with it was a random game i promise uh hit why aren't you using the electronic noises when you're clearly playing electronic battleship also why have you only placed two of your ships and why do you have three hits on this ship when she's only marked one and why are you surprised she guessed b8 it's the obvious next guess after she hit on e d and c8 and later bucky's gonna take two guesses in a row sho obviously doesn't know how to battleship correctly there's no word for someone whose kids die it is fairly recent but the sanskrit word villama has come into usage it means against the natural order of things and though i could add a sin for the show not mentioning this i'd rather this be a sin for the type of grief that i can't even imagine and no one should have to experience a date this is a great reveal even if you see it coming it perfectly conveys the depth of what bucky is dealing with and how his past actions have affected so many other lives marvel does the pew pewing as well as anyone but they can also bring the character moments and the tears i'm not crying you're crying susie disobedience so i don't know how jurisdiction works here but i don't have to place you under arrest taurus saw what this guy just did to the cop does he really think pulling a gun on him was going to be effective doris survives this i knew it falcon really dainty butterfly hands is what got this guy to falcon you know what i've always wondered how do you guys make a living oh oh i know let me try this one it's a tv show and it's fiction so quit asking dumb questions because you're ruining television shows and i like the other narrator better anyway how am i doing i understand their priorities are to secure a loan at the bank but maybe leave a smidge earlier and give the food to those in need before the sun bakes it in the back of your truck oh my god sam you better look at this hey you better come take a look at this cliche and news position at the same time you're straight up mocking me now aren't you marvel look when you're using cgi to de-age kurt russell 40 years younger and stuff him into a captain america suit technology has officially gotten out of hand yay more previously on segments do previously on segments make sense and serve a purpose yes yes they do will we keep sending them yes yes we will no one will be seated during the 14 seconds of unzippering sequence also the unzip reveals a great void of nothing and i never realized how let down a zipper could make me feel defacing school property not my captain america i remember sneaking into this locker room before each game intentionally entering a men's locker room when you don't even have to this is the job john all of it is it's always been in the job description job description what would that even be captain america must have delicious juicy perfect buns and be able to pose for photos while also able to kill unimaginable terrorists from space with a shiny circular winter sled star spangled man with a plan and all that roll commercials isn't this soup it comes with expectations bro exactly it's no good stuffing a sock down there trust me also john has been doing the captain america thing for two weeks now so he's definitely heard all about the expectations of the suit so why is lamar in the scene [ __ ] lamar you can't just punch you at problems anymore the climaxes of almost every movie in this franchise would beg to differ [Music] [Applause] appreciate the new music i really do but it's still masturbatory logoing and you know how we feel about that around here using a high school marching band to introduce [ __ ] captain america i'm sure they're very talented but was lady gaga not available or little big town or like kid rock i bet kid rock was available i don't think they're holding county fairs currently disrespecting your sensitive bits and really the inguinal area in general ah son sarah haynes disney could you please stop masturbating for five damn minutes was it really necessary for walker to bring his gun to this event yeah that and flags tend to start majestically waving in the wind yeah i think that's just the wind but what i do have is guts uh something captain america always had always needs to have and i'm gonna need every ounce of it if by guts you mean your stomach and intestinal tract that only comes in about a hundred ounces think i'll take the flashy gadgets and super strength please good to see you too buck tv show called the falcon and the winter soldier goes a collective 58 minutes before it does any falcon and winter soldiering what could be bigger than this this guy falcon is going to wave the image of a bad guy needing a beatdown in front of a trained assassin in murder remission currently struggling with a friend identity crisis is anyone thinking clearly today what victory androids aliens and wizards every time we fight we fight one of the three i mean except when you don't mysterio whiplash obadiah stain yellowjacket the winter soldier i read the hobbit in 1937 when it first came out bucky is like the guy who makes sure to point out he first saw dave matthews at a college frat party no one cares and don't be like bucky kids i mean mainly because he's a killer but the bragging thing is also bad a sorcerer is a wizard without a hat that's sorcerest um also the dungeons and dragons players handbook clearly states on page 99 that a sorcerer is defined as nerd i'm coming with you no you're not how did bucky even get in here sure he's been pardoned but does that come with an all-access pass to a military base of his choice in case you confused it with munich north dakota these linear communications devices manage to stay intact after diving out of the plane but mine fall in my cereal bowl when i sneeze how is that even fair what is the point of this needless sleeve ripping does the leather somehow block the power of vibranium how many jackets does bucky even go through why not just take the damn thing off entirely i have all of that on camera you know that right but why falcon leaps out of the plane to go on with his mission unsure if bucky was even gonna follow or not why would he hang around or send his robot familiar to candid camera bucky's plummet wait is this supposed to be comic relief you're doing the staring thing again do you mean the thing where he looks at something with his eyes yeah total dick move hey come on man i'm just messing with you come back while on a highly sensitive mission that requires stealth and focus falcon decides that this is the best time to be jovial read the empty warehouse room in the middle of a forest overseas on a secret mission falcon sure is lucky that these bad guys who we assume do not want to be caught ignore this very obvious kerfuffle bucky runs up to this truck breaks the door off and you're telling me that the driver of truck 2 does nothing there's no way they didn't see him now yes they know that the person in truck one isn't a hostage but surely this is still a less than ideal turn of events and something at least hornworthy mind you the masks do look very cool however carly has already given herself away as one of the thieves so does she really need to put it on now at this point she's just obstructing her own vision i always wanted to do that oh crap am i starting to like bucky sam is wasting his abilities here why land on the truck and start a fist fight when you can fly just pick these guys up one at a time and fling them into the forest okay first of all close those doors before your goods fly out of the truck second why are the trucks still rolling down the road like it's a normal caravan sure we want to see a mobile fight on the top of two trucks but would they want this no they'd stop traffic kick some ass and zippity-doo-dah down the road third carly heard redwing coming and was all ready to rivet to shreds here comes a [ __ ] helicopter and she's suddenly surprised no just no hello girl kick your ass setting aside show has time for this sam didn't fare much better against that little girl so maybe he should just sexist the [ __ ] up unlucky bucky stucky under a truckee just let go of the truck that was a bad idea i'm not sure the show wants us rooting for carly right now but i am totally rooting for carly right now super nice of that car to be completely absent when lamar should have been run over but also appear to break his fall and how in the hell after 80 years or the eighth supersoul just running loose i mean one getting produced every 10 years i would guess seems like pretty simple math falcon it's 20 miles of the airport you guys need a ride no they really don't falcon can fly and bucky can speed run why can't falcon just fly them there the script needs them in that vehicle but sam and bucky are doing just fine on their own i see a guy hanging out of a helicopter and tactical gear i need a lot more than lamar hospital sam would be the wizard android or alien of tv since they call you robin hood whoa whoa hold your roll there i'm not sure that you oh robin hood is in the public domain is there anything disney can't get their hands on there is someone that you should be glad to see the pronoun game survive decades of soviet brainwashing i'm surprised they were able to find him this easy that guy is mostly associated with an alias you think you can wake up one day and decide who you want to be wait are you saying i can't be an astronaut but i just bought a new goldfish bowl none of these people are recording on their cell phones yeah we did some field ops back in the day never heard field ops used as a euphemism like that but okay do whatever you gotta do with them then send him off to me this [ __ ] blase attitude to therapy is still a thing suppose that while you're sleeping a miracle occurs when you wake up what is something you would like to see that would make your life better i'll give all the sins back if falcon says does crippling back pain count because i got the spot right here they're really smarts in my miracle um he would he would talk less exactly what i was going to say isn't that ironic only if you're using the more set dictionary and if he was wrong about you then he was wrong about me bucky's feelings here are heart-wrenching i wish someone would comfort him and help him understand his value outside of false equivalencies if only there were a therapist that actually knew what the she was even doing you know what doc i don't have time for this and yet you still spent the last five minutes bantering in soul gazing i'll see you outside careful that tearaway sleeve will fall right off i know that look what's wrong honestly no disrespect to therapists everywhere but she is really bad at her job she brings in two men with super abilities who need professional guidance and has them just stare at each other while tolerating their childish banter here's an idea have that very clearly distraught x assassin sit his ass down and do some of the hard work of therapy but you guys have rules of engagement and all kind of authorizations you have to get we're free agents we're more flexible how is that now earlier walker said that the falcons take his government property and that he himself was kind of the government plus if falcon hasn't been jetting around the globe on an avengers jet so far he's been working with the us military i'm not so sure the falcon is a free agent is what i'm saying okay great now you've blocked the road so you can just run back to the plane and escape what are you doing he blocked the road and he's not far away he can still make it back what are you doing the plane's ready to go and you can still make it what are you doing you're just going to run at them they've got guns the five seconds it takes for them to shoot you down won't make a difference so you might as well run to the plane it's the most pointless sacrifice i've ever seen on screen i just rewatched the first transformers movie we're gonna go see zemo gasp dramatic reveal intrigue callbacks end of episode excitement almost two full minutes of regurgitating stuff we already know not a baby bird marvel i can chew my own plot food okay the global repatriation council knows that for many it wasn't that easy wait it wasn't that easy last time i said the blip was a bad idea someone reminded me that hulk said he wanted everyone to return safely certainly took into account their psychological health as well right i know i'm beating a dead pedantic horse here go figure but all i'm trying to say is that marvel has still not wrestled with the moral ambiguity of returning half the population after being mourned as lost for five years i'm gonna send them for it every chance i get reset restore rebuild why go with rebuild when restructure is right there and would keep the res going this is why everyone hates you marvel can anyone explain to me why cap's helmet is designed to push his ears out like this and it's not the actor because i had the same thought even when there was a chris wearing it i'm just saying there are so many better options in this captain alfred america design do you know who i am an ever-increasing caricature of american entitlement that's bordering on parity and starting to hinder my ability to buy into the story am i close in case you confused it with berlin take my breath away that time wasn't exactly a picnic this saying picnics are not easy and generally suck there's wind and critters in bumpy seating and ant jerry's about five hard lemonades into a rant on border control you know honestly when something is terrible it should be called a picnic what are you talking about you want to break zemo out of jail better question is why are you only talking about it now what part of falcon's personality makes you think he wouldn't have forced a conversation about what happened in there immediately especially considering there's time for an entire jailbreak sometime before we get to this conversation he is crazy but he still has a code yeah and i've been on the wrong side of that code bucking so have you this show is desperately trying to use this sam bucky conversation to give us a valid reason bucky would go all finding zemo and break him out of jail but it's clearly only because the plot needs it to happen which honestly is happening a lot on this show what's the book you're reading machiavelli i've watched this prison break scene several thousand times now and i still can't figure out what's supposed to have happened here bucky asks him what he's reading as if he's the one that put the key card in the book but how and when zemo's apparently already been reading the book so why hasn't he seen it before and then they just happened to walk bucky through gen pop during chess time and completely miss him tossing this note to one of the local grand masters speaking of the note when did he have time to write it and with what and how did he know there would be a situation where just two guys are sitting at a table wouldn't that he will kill you tonight note have been confusing if he had to drop it at a table with several inmates and why does mobby fisher here even believe this random note from an absolute random stranger then the escape completely yadda yaddas how zemo got outside the building preferring just to show him use his card on a couple interior doors as if he somehow knew exactly where he was going i mean i suppose i could have just thrown a this works on this whole escape but then i wouldn't have gotten to use the moppy fischer joke and no one keeps me from my name puns no one so all this time you've been rich apparently so it's a good thing too because we need a jet for any of this to work who cares that his asset should have been seized marvel's got a marvel i guess he's out of line but he's right tv sends defenders james you will have to become someone you claim is gone is it santa claus oh please tell me it's santa claus playing soccer in enclosed spaces or really at all hell he does look like me though convenient doppelgangers conventional gangers [Music] this opening street cry montage fast and furious is on for some time also do you want broken ankles because this is how you get broken ankles i love these character has to eat or drink something disgusting to prove they aren't an outsider cliche a power broker really my response from the future when someone tells me this is their favorite episode of the show somehow makes it into the script sure in the grimiest crimiest underbelly bar in this hive of scum and villainy people are still whipping out their phones to record this kerfuffle this would be one of the most violent group of cameraverse people in history anyone trying to snag some social media clout down here would basically be trading their lives for likes onto basebook or whatever site obvious criminal stereotypes use for social media these days the breadcrumbs are gonna for free what the bakery is gonna cost you baron using carbohydrates for evil instead of good aside from the overall stupidity of leaving his phone on vibrate sam lets this phone rumble for several seconds before he's then asked to answer it on speaker why didn't just reject that call immediately also i'm throwing in a sin for sarah and anyone else who calls someone without texting first this is 2021 sarah show some respect for mobile protocol also also i'm not sure which i'm more impressed with that you're managing to get two full bars of service down in this dungeon or that you took the time to ask someone here for the wi-fi password kill them deus ex power broken uh x sharina x bothana running these heels calling these heels was is a big difference i mean maybe but if someone said i was a serial killer or i am a serial killer the difference starts to shrink a bit doesn't it sharon we need your help stating the obvious what's going on sharon what's going on is that sharon has a rack of clothing that will perfectly fit you that's twice in one day that sam has had a perfectly tailored outfit change without having to resort to gym shorts in an old ratty t-shirt that says orgasm donor on the front crowds and yes i would have seen this before the pandemic 2. there's just more people on my side now also we spent so much time on this party montage that i'm beginning to think this episode is 30 establishing montages 16 actual plot and 54 trying to justify all these people being willing to work with [ __ ] zemo having a secret entrance that is unlocked and can be opened with a simple push you know who he is right this is baron zemo i know you've heard of him too right of course because every single person in this entire universe is familiar with every single player in these movies i'm just saying 90 of america couldn't even tell you who eugene goodman is and that dude is about as close as we get to a superhero on this planet so excuse me if i'm doubtful every bounty hunter in the city is here we gotta go seeing does not contain a boba fett also i get that every bounty hunter is after you but how did any of them know you were here right now and why would they share that info with anyone else not my pig not my farm charlotte's web deniers this guy waits until such the perfect moment to block convenience's rocket launcher they might as well have left the director in the shot screaming action it's an every action movie falcon stressed would be excellent at tv sins but also every time these two fight i get lethal weapon vibes and honestly their chemistry is so good i'm somehow not hating it no i've watched enough mythbusters to know you can't just know where to shoot a pipe so it explodes like that no matter how skilled you are you think you can do these things but you just can't zemo also now all of a sudden zemo has gone from an intellectual manipulator with an avengers grudge to a wealthy vigilante wearing a mask with dead eye aiming skills and incredible fighting prowess since when did zemo turn into the mcu's version of batman so they just happened to pick an empty open shipping container that somehow leads to a magical escape car did you see a mr tumnus in there as well were you offered some turkish delight on your way through guess i won't be needing this anymore if we get the job done do you really think they're gonna sweat us on the how putting the ends before the means and what i mean by that is that this show is more concerned about having dramatic episode ends without worrying about what any of it actually means thanks taurus saying a character's name out loud because it's been so long since they've actually been in the show that we've forgotten they exist i was wondering when you were going to show up is like a path of camoya beads really the best way to do this anyone could have seen those and pick them up before bucky did i guess marvel just wanted to walk on the convenient side of the street for this one huh hey yo sorry guys it's it's basically a disease at this point it is time i mean i hope so i've had to wait through two minutes of previously on and logoing to get here i actually might need to take a snack break i think i have some turkish delight around here somewhere nope that's a rolo how could you free him well you see there was this card in a book that had a tiny note that made two men fight to the death followed by a guard murder and an outfit change none of it would have been possible without an impossibly deep understanding of the layout of the prison mind you were you followed no how can you be so sure because i know when i'm being followed well that answers that then no reason to double check anything do we really have to litigate what may or may not have happened there's nothing in litigate you straight shot the man one thing i'm really enjoying so far about the mtu is that we're getting more in-depth looks at characters that weren't much more than side pieces in the mcu anthony mackie is kind of killing it in this show and i'm now firmly in the sam fan camp sammys falconers desire to become a superhuman cannot be separated from supremacist ideals anyone with that serum is inherently on that path that supremacist and the entire neighborhood got together for a ceremony it's like a week long maybe they're doing the same thing for donya and by sinful coincidence they are one of the workers killed was the father of two if they're all watching and listening to this on their phones how is there one single audio stream shouldn't we be hearing this traumatic news and surround sound wearing a car seat belt as a belt buckle keep an eye on him keep an eye on him sam and bucky are obviously very good at what they do but letting zemo roam around loose seems like an odd choice zemo's clearly capable of causing a lot of damage quickly he [ __ ] shot the only lead they had you know for a group of people who hate the grc they seem to be surprisingly all right with keeping up grc propaganda on the walls well what's your name maybe i can make a call i'd love to see that call get made i'm sorry you're who oh you mean the guy that helped break baron zemo out of jail yeah yeah yeah we're totally gonna help you just stay right where you are turkish delight was always my son's favorite strangers with candy then she's no different than him or anybody else we fought so then you're happy to help her too right just like you're helping him you know the guy brewing cherry blossom tea and making an afternoon snack it just feels like sam and bucky are playing bad guy favorites and zemo's in the lead because he can put them up in some posh mosaic suite you always used to tell me if you're doing something and it makes you scared it's probably because it's the right thing this is terrible advice i didn't think there could be another captain america until i met you worst pickup line ever or possibly best but either way back then there was just good and bad but the world's more complicated now it was never just good and bad kids lack the ability to use foresight and perceive the complexities of good and bad which is why we have warning labels on laundry detergent but first we pay our respects to mama dania but why i know she meant a lot to you in the cause but carly's probably the most wanted person in the world right now she really needs to get out of some of her public appearances i can't figure out why she's in this graveyard without a cap or sunglasses or anything she will move in fast take her by surprise no i want to talk to her alone i think john might have the better idea here but i can't figure out why just the two of them showed up the grc wouldn't send some backup once again carly and her group are the most wanted people in the world and they are all super soldiers might need a little more firepower than captain faux merica and lamar hoskins can you show us the way what the hell man i'm really starting to like this john walker he's a little snarky and rough around the edges but he seems to have a good head on his shoulders i'm really looking forward to his character growth as he wrestles with his anger and comes out on top of it all we may even get that sweet camera shot from below where he stands heroically with shield in the foreground it's gonna be epic also if zemo was going to bring sam and bucky along with him this whole time then why tell the girl how a little secret or they're very bad not to be trusted wouldn't that lead to the little girl being immediately concerned and suspicious when he shows up with four guys you got 10 minutes and we're doing things my way setting an arbitrary time limit just so someone can ignore the time limit and ruin everything when it was all going so well cliche how did none of the other flag smashers notice the mysterious figure looming on the second floor even if their backs were turned during the ceremony carly glanced towards sam several times which should tip them off i know walker's trying to prove himself as a worthy successor to captain america and he's been pressing hard to get carly captured but this transition from steve rogers wannabe into a five o'clock shadow [ __ ] feels like we've missed a good five or six scenes with walker and hoskins that would explain his dissent i realize they've got to get us to the ending of this episode but they've skipped over what could have been some really interesting scenes to get us there it doesn't matter that we see how zemo got out of the handcuffs we just need to see that he can i lost her this place is amazed and yet you found each other and zemo finds carly without issue neat so carly gets through walker hoskins sam and bucky but gets derailed by zemo in a pistol yeah that adds up also how does he keep getting guns this episode is 17 michael myers head tilting stealing what did we miss well i missed the part where the split party found the dungeon map and managed to reunite in a maze did you find the violence they've been destroyed how did carly not already know this she just saw zemo stepping on them i didn't give him the shield well steve definitely didn't four episodes in and we're still having the shouldn't have given him the shield talk do you want four sins show because this is how you get four cents he's actually proven himself useful today by shooting carly okay sure he gave candy to kids like a creep and found out where the funeral was going to be but i'm pretty sure they could have attached a tracking device on someone and figured it out without the turkish delight what i'm saying here is this show really goes the extra mile to justify trusting zemo and they really shouldn't the dora milaje are a dick to tiles also why would the dora milaje chuck the spirit captain america when zemo was right there for the kabobbing was aio seriously going to murder captain america because i think ao was seriously going to murder captain america was she seriously going to murder battle star because i think she was seriously going to murder battle star and why is zebo still here i can't believe he pulled in your chapel i can't believe no one has followed him are the dora milanji afraid of sewers everyone just casually looks at it yep that's a holy wind down probably leads somewhere else oh well if i were to kill you it'd be meaningless see i'm shaming hello john walker note to self the next time you ask sharon to keep an eye out for walker moving in on carly's base ask her to give a warning before he's directly on the base thanks sharon sho doesn't want to take the time to show us the scene of john taking the serum but is more than happy to show us zemo making tea and 38 discussions about how sam should have taken the shield [Applause] why would anyone from carly's army react this way to jon's serum or not bucky's been a super soldier this whole time and they haven't acted scared of him this useless clock alright this part is hard to watch but i have to ask why everyone stops fighting each other i understand walker bucky and sam stopping to check in with lamar but the flag smashers wanted to kill walker and he's very distracted at the moment why would they stop going after their target cool john's probably just going to ask this guy for the quickest way for him to find carly so he could calmly arrest her for killing his friend i i mean that hit to the face seemed a little over the top but he's got him subdued so he can once again calmly obtain this infra holy [ __ ] what is happening good luck getting blood out of that shield john i'm pretty sure you just can't run that through a dishwasher so you're telling me that there was a black super soldier having to remember this guy's name when all i can recall is his alias what if they're going to repeat scenes we can't repeat sins why'd you give up that shield i'm gonna be waking up in the middle of the night screaming why'd you give up that shield for the next year after hearing it so many times on the show why does this even need to be in the previously on segment we know that will be said at least once during the actual episode super soldiers sure do run a lot but why having the super serum running through your body means you don't have to run or really perform any kind of exercise you can just eat tater tots and donuts all day while watching hot and cleveland marathons on tv land why are you [ __ ] running john why if walker is struggling with a flashback wouldn't he be seeing it through his own eyes i mean i don't really want to see first-person perspective of this guy getting his head smashed by cap and face crunch but it would at least be accurate also you show the flashback was in the previously on one minute ago and we could all really use a break from being bashed over the head by the scene [Music] this is like watching a bird fly into a window over and over again try something else that works why remove protective gear in the middle of a choking out of your opponent the few seconds it would take to unclasp the chin strap would have given sam the advantage so if america here rips off sam's wings which in addition to creating an excuse for a new suit also somehow renders him unconscious great oh so bucky does know how to hit something other than the massive bullseye right in front of him maybe hold on to that until captain america has been retained by the authorities or sam at least has a chance to catch his breath and stand up she's going we'll never find her but only because we're told so if they want to find anyone else on the planet they just pack a cell phone or enhance a satellite or phone in wakanda she winds up in new york by the end of the episode so surely they'd be able to track oh i don't know planes captain america killing a foreign national in public it's kind of like a big deal like like international incident big i agree which is why i don't understand how sam still has the shield that is a [ __ ] murder weapon that should be in evidence who even allowed that to be cleaned also this episode ruins my scent from last episode about not being able to get the stain out of the shield and i'm petty so these chairs are off limits but this microwave and oven are okay guys wait yo you forgot the wings cable and somehow sam has the authority to give away the tech to torres for reasons also remember torres consider yourself extremely fortunate mr walker and return the shield to us with expedience how do they not know that sam has the shield torrez and many other officers were at the earlier grc operation and saw sam walk off with it ah yes when i'm approached by a strange woman clomping towards me my instinct is to look at her shoes rather than her face you know because identifying someone's footwear is incredibly useful valentina allegra lafontaine awesome this reveal means we might be one step closer to a thunderbolts movie or tv series but as i learned from wandavision this is most likely just a teasing not something we'll see resolved on this series marvel could have benefited from the teachings of the great german scholars the scorpions the mtu knows how to tease me but i'm not sure they know how to please me this show really wants us to believe that carly is an intelligent person who's able to evade the government with no issues but then there are scenes like this where she returns to the scene of a grc takeover and that is not what a smart person that knows how to avoid her enemy would do she might send some of her people to do it but she'd never show her face there again also why did the grc decide not to watch these locations in case carly and the crew showed up they just threw up some caution tape and flyers and shrugged their shoulders like well guess we can all go home for the day because obviously carly's hiding somewhere we'd never find her [Music] littering what do you suppose the conversation between bucky and the dora malay was like hey i'm gonna trick zemo into thinking i'm going to kill him with a bullet to the face so you all wait over there out of sight until you see him his pants and then walk dramatically over so that he actually shuts his pants when his fate sinks in we will take him to the raft well glad that all wrapped up so nice and tidy for bucky and i understand the grc has their hands full with the captain america they appointed being a power-hungry loony bird but are sam and bucky really not going to be in any kind of trouble for breaking zemo out of prison i mean that's a federal offense hey paying ao watering plants at night what i think it is a deflated mastodon testicle yes yes it is also let's go ahead and stir up a lot of pain and bad memories for this poor guy again that was so much fun the first time around they will never better black man be captain america and even if they did no self-respecting black man would ever want to be there is so much truth in this bit of dialogue and while the show often struggles with presenting moral complexities this is perfect it almost makes me want to take all the sins back for complaining about why didn't you keep the shield talk i said almost but i'll at least give one back for this amazing moment sarah i'm coming home and i'll just immediately hang up on you after my exclamation nothing cryptic or weird about that way to potentially freak your sister out for no reason sam in about 10 years we'll have this thing fixed it also feels like the sam goes back home and fixes the boat sequence takes 10 years but you don't hear me complaining you know except for right now and the entirety of this video betta and elling's dad cannot get up before noon kids keep showing up hungry but are too proud to ask for any help and you're just like mom feeding every kid in the neighborhood and luckily sam was present for the handing off lunch portion of the day so he could realize the way he's going to save the boat and his family which leads to a revelation about what it means to take up the shield and become the next captain america i mean what if he'd slept in how do we get it off the truck no but seriously if bucky hadn't randomly been there how would they have gotten it off the truck i'm in fixing together the only way to work out pointless grudges since 1817. i'm lucky flirting with your friend's sister if they don't add an l here at some point i will send this show a hundred times this is just a sin to remind me to do that because if i don't sin i forget she's a very mean person sam and bucky are kicked off of boat fixing duty and walk away bantering back and forth for a few seconds great fine but at least let us hear what they're saying rather than force us to turn on closed captions to read their conversation over the swelling music sam is a dick to trees also if the shield got stuck in the tree when it was thrown how is it not destroying this padding four falcons fingers when steve told me what he was planning i don't think either of us really understood what it felt like for a black man to be handed the shield i heard an apology i'm sorry so when you retired it it made me feel like i had nothing left well look at that bucky's doing some deep inner healing suppose we shouldn't be surprised now that he's no longer seeing that terrible therapist and yes she deserves yet another sin this is our history we can't lose this fight my goodness there's more reflecting in this episode than a fun house full of mirrors this training montage does not contain a survivor song so sam's just hanging out training back home with captain america shield and no one is coming for it i swear to steve this episode is shot after shot of shield porn it's at least 68 shield born so with no money and barely any resources how is carly managing the technical infrastructure to lead a rebellion everyone in the park hears this why does new york get a title card but earlier washington didn't be consistent show we could have sent you for making obvious title cards twice show ends on 15 seconds of sam staring at something we can't see which in addition to being a dick move will also be a huge disappointment when it's revealed next week it's actually full of receipts and expense forms that have to be organized for falcons taxes there is a complete lockdown at the grc meeting in lower manhattan but not a lockdown on the rules of wearing earrings on the job these things look amazing but someone's going to rip them out of your ears in a scuffle also if you thought we weren't going to sin news position just because it's audio only we probably need to get to know each other better so we can avoid these kinds of miscommunications in the future saying there's no fly zone in effect while using footage that specifically appears to be shot from a flying vehicle and yes i get it they can put cameras wherever they want but my cognitive dissonance kicked in and it made me angry [Music] it seems like some serious effort would have gone into applying this fake face so why rip it off to prove it's you tell them a secret only the two of you would know like the diameter of his left testicle also this tech is incredible it doesn't even rip off face hair or remove blackheads relax no one's looking for me here even if they were you made it really easy to spot you now that you've removed that super high tech face mask for absolutely no reason yes you won't be needing wait crap rewind it [Music] guess you won't be needing this anymore phew thank you you're risking a lot of coming here i hear pardons arnolds are cracked up to be anyway how are these two speaking to each other right now hey bobby you get that gas grenade done yet nah i'm still trying to design that opening mechanism that separates into three geometrical pleasing sections to let a neon green light shine out between them damn it bobby not everything has to be an homage to the matrix we need those things like yesterday [ __ ] you frank i'm an artist so the building was attacked while sam was back home he then danced his new wings and flies to new york where carly waits to see him in the sky before initiating the smoke bomb attack meaning all these chuckles were just hanging out in the conference room with doors they could have run out at any point yes mcu officially passes on a main character title for the first time and it's absolutely badass and to those who would say that mackie could never carry the shield as well as his predecessor i have one thing to say that's cap i mean i guess we had to find a new interpretation of the head piece but functionally how does it stay stuck to his head is the middle strap section so tight that it clamps it in place how do you properly contemplate saving people when your brain is being squeezed by a cranial jock strap he's wearing a jock strap for his face and now you'll never unsee it you're welcome you cost me a lot of money oh good we get to go back to the bat rock plot line everyone was clamoring for swear the only time i want to hear the word bat rock again is if christian bale ben affleck and will arnett start touring as a death metal band camera sends a spiral staircase down the middle and blasphemes vertigo in the process cliche captain america suddenly forgets that he has a shield despite spending 56 percent of the last episode training with one that's how you feel you should sit this one out well you know i ain't gonna do that bucky's already sitting this one out considering that since his phone call started he's just standing there walk and talk bucks walk and talk seriously bucky you had one job since everyone can talk through their magical earpieces why would sharon take this long to check in with bucky and how does a phone call with carly distract buggy in the first place and yes i already seen that but well that's one down how'd you manage that murder chopper's about to take off [ __ ] it i don't fly man that's your thing at this point these communicators are just magic right mcu is just like look we need our characters to be able to throw quips at each other at all times and we're not letting things like distance or logic stop us you don't think lamar's life mattered i mean to be fair as much as we knew about them they might as well have dressed them in a red shirt and been done with it so maybe direct your question at the writers on this one john parking meters i'm digging a lot of this action i really am but it sure does seem like the formula for these mtu finales is just going to be punch punch wink of themes punch punch plot twist punch punch false resolution punt the big stuff to the movies doesn't it yes put in your earbuds that you not only happen to have on you after being rushed out of the building but are also charged and completely inconspicuous also not punctuating your text messages you're better than that captain america or red wing or whoever the hell sent this text however the hell they sent it a little birdie told me alright that's enough did they tap into her earbuds did she answer a call this show's text sells more convenience than 7-eleven cases murphy's and wawa combined we're gonna count down from five when we get to one you're gonna grab the control this countdown is complete tension building nonsense all you had to say is when i take out the pilot immediately grab the controls instead of relying on two people reaching the count of five at the same time in a situation where you don't even know how long it's going to take you to pull off the move if she gets to five before you and tries to grab the controls you might end up taking both of them out and killing everyone on the chopper hey random plot device lady i'm taking out the pilot when i do grab the controls in the scene oh yay murderous crapped in la merica is fighting the murderous flag smashers and i guess i'm supposed to be rooting for the scene to end a vehicle gets treacherously suspended above a fall with innocent lives at stake boy we're playing all the action cliche hits today kiddos and now maybe we're supposed to like this guy again john walker is rocketed through his character arc without earning it so fast he's basically the game of thrones season 8 of the mtu he's just a normal dude pushing a two-ton truck with a jet pack and somehow his back doesn't break he doesn't even have a pulled muscle afterwards beautiful people bought into that bush the comment section every time i remove a sin somehow makes it into the episode it's like they want us to see this tech that somehow tracks thermal footprints left through boots and say it's wakanda tech so anything goes and we can't do that well we could but we don't want to are they whistling to find each other what a terrible idea do they not think that whistles can be mimicked have they not seen the hunger games so you're the power broker i felt a great disturbance in this plot twist as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in apathy and were suddenly disinterested where does it end apparently just above the temples and honestly your cowl is the most distracting thing i've seen since the ball brawl sharon must be feeling pretty confused right now you know with sam rushing to carly rather than to her they're both dying of gunshot wounds here i'm a black man carrying the stars and stripes what don't i understand oh captain my captain look this show has its share of bull but this this is the good stuff i know i've said it before but one last time for being willing to go there marvel i doff my cap walker walks into a media frenzy where no one asks him why he's there what he's doing why he's in captain america gear or what it feels like to be useless super nice of the raft to provide plot-spilling satellite radios for the prisoners it's the same but black i mean now you're just saying the quiet part out loud i uh i have to tell you something this segment of bucky finally truly making amends with his past is powerful and would probably have earned another sin off if it weren't for the fact that it included a positive nod to this terrible therapist who needs her license revoked and in no way deserves credit for any of this [Music] stalking wait so you made an entire section of the museum dedicated to this man with his full name and information on display and you didn't get permission first this is the same man who didn't even want to be bothered about any of this just a few days ago so this is not only a huge gamble but probably unethical this would be like holding a particular award till the end of your award show because you think you know who's going to win and you could use it for your own purposes can you imagine i told you in the last episode if this wasn't fixed i'd add 100 sins and i'm nothing if not a super consistent completely fair man of my word it would have made me judge jury and executioner with zero accountability is he wearing a parachute no no he wasn't coming i'm going in cover me perkins i trust people trust no one mr mulder so now that you've stopped fighting what do you want [Music] peace we are the united states government we don't do that sort of thing he ate sucka uh and my favorite vitamin i might add be yourself if you can't love yourself how the hell you gonna love somebody else good morning john john [ __ ] toast good morning good afternoon good evening and good night we're not playing no more we can't let the same [ __ ] who are put back in power after the blip win you sound like you're from london kids big ben parliament again sir that stolen lima bit one of your prostitutes right in the face and she says she can't go to hospital because she's quote tripping balls you will be sorely missed you little bat-faced piece of [ __ ] i have never well i'll get you in all of my 23 years pirate sanctuary do what you want cause apparently three you are a pirate snakes why did it have to be snakes can anybody tell you that this is the private club of the satan's helpers nobody hit me to that dude you have a real problem now so leave your weapons and follow my lead [Music] fire is good fire is good yes fire fire is our friend end of intro to funeral speech good afternoon to everyone i'm kenny powers they started a war as soon as they kicked us out of our new homes and onto the street people all around the world need me millions of them i don't quite see how you cherish the memory of the dead by killing another million and uh personally i think you're a idiot i thought we'd been chosen you choo choo choose me where is she where is she i don't know he is gone he's gone from here the evil is gone we could have been a team i could have been a contender i'm batman this is what happened when your life is at stake you do anything by any means necessary it is a mandate you don't want the truth because deep down in places you don't talk about at parties you want me on that wall you need me on that wall yeah and when i see priests in the street i never ever stare at him and yet i'm careful not to look away see because i want to make the freaks feel comfortable i'm about to have to consider the optics the optics are whatever we show we have to believe in what we're doing to support us gentlemen you can't fight in here this is the war room sir are you supposed to be here like to take his face off red wing see if anyone in there has flight training sorry i'm having trouble understanding right now please try a little later stay down let me do this all day sharon blocking my light haha sharon okay i get it

Channel: TVSins

Views: 142,766

Rating: 4.7763696 out of 5

Keywords: tv, television, tele, tvsins, tv sins, quickest beef owl, eww, everything wrong with, cinemasins tvsins, parody, commentary, reaction, recap, bloopers, tv show sins

Id: Y-Oc3ph4Swk

Length: 52min 34sec (3154 seconds)

Published: Thu Jul 08 2021