Everything Wrong With Despicable Me In 19 Minutes Or Less

[Music] and so begins the seemingly endless minion assault that we are destined to endure until the end of time has anyone who put the Great Pyramids of Giza in a film ever googled where the pyramids actually are because spoiler alert they are semi surrounded by large metropolitan cities called Giza and Cairo we're gonna take my picture American tourists are fat and stupid and southern in fact cliche despite being ordered to stop by multiple authority figures this [ __ ] kid continues to [ __ ] [ __ ] II so if this pyramid never pop no one would ever know that one of the great pyramids was missing making the time spent to steal the pyramid completely useless isn't the whole point of stealing this giant monument to show people how powerful you are or to ask for a ransom to return it or something if no one knows that it's gone then what's the point why did the pyramid deflate the kid just bounced off it without puncturing it at all and it's been there for a presumably long time the Great Pyramid of Giza had been stolen and replaced by a giant inflatable replica not only did nobody see the inflatable pyramid go up it was apparently done with a hand pump by one dude Hispanic throughout the globe as countries and citizens try to protect their beloved landmarks Looby decides to depict two real monuments of other countries but makes up a fake hillbilly monument for America and it's really shows what a quad grew is in the beginning but I'm more concerned that this kid is hanging out and unsupervised in the middle of town while a grown man gives him a tree from his pocket who just takes that cup of whatever from the barista Lee and everyone knows how hyper specific coffee orders are so he'll regret not waiting in line when he's sipping his grande vanilla bean creme Frappuccino served in a venti Cup with almond milk extra caramel drizzle coconut flakes Greek yogurt protein powder and three splendas Oh Despicable Me holy the roll credits moment in the first five minutes even Suicide Squad held out until the middle of the movie [Music] this quiet residential road has three enormous lanes to accommodate the site gas also I guess since there are no real consequences for being a supervillain in this universe GRU has no reason to be inconspicuous one of grooves many villainous deeds violating his HOA agreement also you know why supervillains usually live on a mountain or on an island serene seclusion beautiful vistas but mostly it's harder to get caught but GRU lives in this planned community surrounded by other people and continues to live his day-to-day life without anyone questioning his profession GRU has a garage that appears to be built specifically for this automobile but Park said on the driveway instead I guess he keeps his treadmill and come there this door has its mail slot on the very bottom which makes it a dick to mail people GRU has a video chat camera that accepts calls by itself allowing grew to be inevitably caught in an awkward situation in his living room who is GRU talking to here is he asking dr. Nefario to assemble them so they can be there before he gets to the lab because then he also tells the minions personally why the two orders group why the two orders why does GRU need this hilariously complicated Rube Goldberg transportation device it's not because he's trying to keep it secret since the method of entry is hitting one obvious button on the chair unwilling group of mutants are somehow capable of building and maintaining this giant lab Jesus Gru's corporation has some excellent benefits how is he not gone public yet even in the world of animated bulletin this perspective is nonsensical GRU lives in a heavily residential area and went straight down in his entry tube for a matter of seconds but movie wants me to believe he's hollowed out a Batcave sized lair houses evildoing um where's camera the jumbotron is showing a direct perspective of GRU here but there's no filming equipment in sight a small one from Las Vegas minions many of which were presumably in on the heist to steal the smaller Statue of Liberty are disappointed to learn what they should already know not all our minions like two feet tall the Statue of Liberty outside New York New York in Las Vegas is 15 feet tall but these minions almost come up to the top of the pedestal my point is this movie size perspective rocket launch elation isn't this lab underground like way the [ __ ] underground also when GRU got home it was the middle of the day Christ it's like this movie isn't even trying to movie seems like the only people that are walking around on the streets of this city are unsupervised children is this the outsiders to adopt this well we were out let me think no movie perpetuates the myth that all orphanages are terrible and the women who run them are either honestly this is the real villainous behavior most normal people wouldn't give a [ __ ] about a guy stealing tourist attractions from around the world but I can guarantee you they care about some Mike Wazowski shaped [ __ ] destroying their car does this urinal read everyone's eye that uses it even if the door doesn't open unless you're a villain I guess there will be a red laser shooting into your retinas while you pee GRU reacts to the man sculptures on these columns like this is the first time he's seeing them even though earlier he says implying that he has been there many times before also is there really a network of villains this large to support a bank that can support a facility like this there's there's still a Lehman Brothers division at the bank of evil that's still up and running partially funding this operation why does a receptionist need to computer screens especially ones this far apart now someday I'm going to go to the moon oh I'm afraid you're too late son NASA isn't sending the monkeys anymore damn crews mom is Savage I'm surprised he's just an innocuous supervillain that steals large insured objects and not a mass murderer I'd like to see this shrink ray the director said let's have your bank loan officer character eat an apple in the scene it'll make him look like an even bigger bank loan officer you don't have it and yet you have the audacity to ask the bank for money gotta side with the [ __ ] bank guy here why the hell wouldn't GRU steal the shrink rate before applying to the loan you have any idea of the capital that this Bank has invested in you crew with far too few of your sinister plots actually turning a profit let's talk about that for a second based on what we've seen so far doesn't appear that any of these villains are holding the items they steal for ransom nor do they have any intention of selling them on some international Monument black market so how the for the villains or the evil bank making any of their money back are they licensing these stories of their heists to dreamworks to make weird half-baked animated films out of grooves secret plane is probably the worst secret plane to ever secret considering the massive line of black smoke coming out its back at the scientists just happened to be testing out their super secret shrink ray right before GRU and his crew make it to the facility so why are these guys so scared and relieved by this test haven't they done this before the shrink race technology has been around for long enough for crew to hear about it and make a plan to steal it so they should have done many of these trials GRU somehow knows the exact location of this shrink ray and is able to drill through the ceiling grab it and escape with absolutely no difficulty at all almost as if the movie wanted to push through this part so it can spend its energy on the montage of GRU and the three little girls at the amusement park we got it why wouldn't GRU have taken more than two minions with him on this highly perilous trip overseas I mean sure they got the shrink ray without a problem maybe a well-trained horde could ensure they kept it for more than 30 seconds GRU who continues to fly perfectly straight while his prized possession is stolen in front of it GRU releases all of his bombs and missiles at once instead of conserving them as the fight continues and even if they were effective he'd have destroyed the shrink ray vectors playing Wii but there's no motion sensor bar on this TV and anyway the whole point of the Wii was to get the players standing up instead of sitting on the couch eating potato chips so vectors doing this week all wrong who is also supposed to be a world-class supervillain is seemingly unable to anticipate the security measures vector may have on his property who survives this and this what are we just gonna go full wily coyote here because I'm already suspending my just believed so hard my back is hurting big as this town anyway not only are the two most won at International villains located within what looks like a mile from each other the orphanage is nearby you see you have been given the Medal of Honor miss Hattie sees these things appear in real time on her screen but apparently just learned how to use a computer so it doesn't surprise her can we proceed with this adoption please tell Margo Edith and Agnes to come to the law wait how did GRU know what the girls names were to even get on the adoption list he could be adopting any of these girls the scene is further proof that this may be the worst villain who has ever existed instead of using his new shrinking power to roll out a reign of villainous behavior or shrinking that giant pyramid he obviously has vector inconveniences himself by shrinking the appliances in his bathroom we got adopted by a bald guy I thought this would be more like an e it kind of is aside from the large weapon area that's being obviously displayed the story's pretty similar wealthy bachelor adopts a girl from an abusive orphanage for selfish reasons doesn't like her then warms over time the only thing that's missing is yet another cover of hard-knock life stay away from I suppose the plan with dual sure who's a villain all but does his villainy typically involve child murder he's incredibly casual about this movie continues to be a big ol can cheat when it comes to perspective considering those spikes were way too long to miss and paling Edith Wise grew even keeping up the subterfuge even for a night all he needs them for is to get into Victor's mansion so why not go through as soon as they're adopted what about the heir this kind of backtalk would've easily put Margo in the box of shame back at the orphanage and since this sassy rhetoric gets basically no reaction from GRU I would submit that Miss hatty is more evil than either GRU or vector I will see you in six okay don't worry everything's going to be fine why does she even need to reassure them I know they probably prefer a loving household but all three of them were adopted at the same time and they're basically free now I'm convinced that at least 72 percent of minion humor is ass based what's out of these I know this is a comical misunderstanding but why did dr. Nefario give all the boogie robots tiny boogie boobs master villain GRU who plans every detail of his heists leave three complete strangers unsecured to run amok in his house yeah he's knew what this whole child-rearing thing but come the hell on earlier GRU timed his entrance to the tube very specifically but now the door stays open long enough for the girls to get inside and even if there were a way trigger there's no way these three girls weigh as much as a fully grown group I mean to close that but they're in a severely underground cooking bunker and now the minion is floating away into the nice neighborhood but nobody's gonna notice does anything mean anything in this [ __ ] universe what I really wanted to show you was this now those are cookie robots this is the only thing that Gru's asked Nefario to work up but he led this presentation with an anti-gravity juice in the silly fart gun in real life I am a spy and these top-secret GRU openly shoots people in crowded venues with a freeze ray and intimidatingly drives his enormous vehicle in regular traffic that should be enough to call attention to the fact that he's a villain but he also has a newspaper clippings on the wall to tell everyone he's the best villain so the silly cover story here what are those my cousins okay so if the kids buy that a mutant one I pastel buttplug is an actual human I guess anything goes in this movie and I am completely uninterested in the stakes of the leads jeez these minions are [ __ ] there's a perfectly good spot that you could even pull through right next to the handicapped spot minions go all the way to a Costco like store just to get a toy which means they'll definitely come back with a five pack of toy unicorns three jugs of milk a flat screen and a rack of ribs 49 seconds of pure uncut minion Asian hope you appreciated it when it was only that long you're never gonna be my dad what the hell I mean I know Margo's gots a workout from being an orphan but after a rocky start GRU hasn't been that bad he didn't get too pissed when they broke into the lab he tried to replace Agnes's toy immediately let them have a TP party then provided a warm bed for each of them he may want to pump the brakes on this whole angst thing until after he steals the moon it's beautiful these little bastards couldn't recognize a suitable stuffed animal and what was essentially Walmart but we're able to dress a toilet bowl brush to look like a toy first we're going to dance class we have a big recital coming up come on man these are for orphans but they have a dance class they regularly attend they were doing hard sales labor for their evil headmistress but she pony it up for dance class for all three of them I'm going to count to three Steve girls accent was briefly hijacked by Hans and Franz for this scene who shows up to this highly secretive mission at vectors place and is highly conspicuous GRU 'mobile name one person who oughta more cookies than me that'll be $52 holy vector ordered 23 boxes so even though these are technically Girl Scout cookies that's five a box and is a fantastic deal not only are these sentient cookie robots able to track down the location of the shrink-ray in a matter of seconds they're able to hack into an evil geniuses secret vault and security system with zero difficulty also the keypad that opens this safe is also capable of shutting down the entire security system because vector security system is working together with a screenwriter to create a situation that is most convenient to the block these cookies were also paid off by the screenwriter to the seal GRU and vectors fortress forcing his escape to be more hyejin see protagonist approaches antagonist scene then cuts to a single shot of antagonist looking in protagonists direction cuts back to where protagonist was and he they are gone cliche vector conveniently has a ventilation system that has plenty of room for a man and his minions to properly die hard [Music] that's hilarious but also unnecessary when you have a shiny glowy thing that could light your way right behind you casual vehicular homicide is casual also this really does serve the dude right who the would fish off a guardrail on a steep curve of a busy ass Highway he looks pretty old maybe he was hoping for sweet death too bad he used his real name when he adopted the girls right if he'd used a fake name he probably could have abandoned them easily without them showing up right back at his doorstep uber reaction revenge shot would have definitely disintegrated the stuffed unicorn that was being coveted despite how annoying she can be agnes is freaking adorable and for this moment alone I'm having a grue like rush of affection quick take one set off before she does something else obnoxious with no legal or societal consequences this place is anarchy we have 12 dice until the moon is in optimum position movie that's played way fast and loose with physics perspective laws biology and humanity decides to throw in some bull sciency stuff to create an arbitrary deadline can't afford any distractions what's up Nefario zas all the sudden he's the one that's been [ __ ] around with the boob robots and fart guns but all of a sudden there's a sense of urgency you don't seem terribly focused grew his perkins even keeping up this appearance of a meeting shouldn't he be getting the location of the shrink ray and telling vector about it immediately what's the benefit of keeping him on the line with his so is he keeping his identity a secret or not these kids just walk in every time GRU is talking about villainy so pick aside movie the ever flexible size of this underground bunker that's directly under a regular neighborhood can now hold a functional rocket ship because movie don't give a about what you think you previously saw movie will clobber you over the head to remind you that grooves a psychopath even though now that he's listened to a Pharrell song he's completely harmless hey Dad what the hell does it matter that Perkins is vectors father the only advantage disc is vector is awareness that GRU stole the shrink ray and apparently an endless supply of apples this is a screenshot of a moment that never happened in their previous video chat during that chat the only person who was ever present with the shrink ray was group and the only girl who ever got in the way of the camera was edith do you have any idea how lucrative this moon highs could be actually no because movie hasn't explained any motive for capturing it other than being considered the best villain alive someone explain to me how this jackass was able to steal one of the pyramids with only weapons that launched sea creatures oh this is going late newbie GRU would be excellent at cinemasins hang on if his last name is GRU then why does GRU go by group his first name is apparently felonious but that's definitely not what it says here GRU you and all I've been working on these for years your chance to make history we've been working on this for years GRU just went to ask the bank for a loan after Nefario told him they didn't have enough money then he steals the Ray and builds the rocket within 12 days so why did this take years I'm here for the girls I received a call that she wanted to return them and in this universe we treat children like that juice are you ordered on Amazon when you were drunk that time goodbye mr. GRU thanks for everything protagonist begins movie is a cold-hearted bastard that lives a life of crime then is forced into circumstances where he needs to care for another individual but then the business of his previous life makes it impossible to care for that individual may hate him for it before inevitably reconciling cliche not only is this apparently the first indication the neighborhood's had that there's a secret underground lair but given the amount of rocket fire GRU has definitely killed everyone in a ten-block radius this character is definitely discount syndrome made even more annoying by giving him a stupid ass cat razor - sure minions can survive the cold vacuum of space because they'll do whatever it takes for a cheap joke we're clearly watching the minions watching a screener of the movie because there's no way that is the video feed they are getting from group yeah something like this would happen if the moon went away but several other more devastating things might happen also the earth would start spinning faster making days shorter and the axis may dramatically tilt causing extreme weather conditions I could go on but just know it'd be bad but instead of GRU threatening to do this showing how much he could do it demanding money so he doesn't do it he decides to steal the moon ask for no money watch earth fall apart while everyone wonders who stole the moon I guess Gru's only driving factors to prove to himself and his mother that he can steal very big things and he doesn't care if Earth gets trolled in the process we have to warn him ha har har this is a stupid gag but I'm also annoyed by how this character was just a cold-hearted [ __ ] when the kids were around but is the comic relief any other time in the movie I know this is an animated movie with very few if any physical laws but it's still ridiculous that GRU is slamming on breaks or yanking on the controls when this is now literally a hunk of metal sliding down the street with no braking mechanism aside from a parachute of course vector has a shrunken moon sized receptacle on the outside of his border wall missiles are clearly shown as being dangerous but the first time drew was here he took on many more and survived so why do we care now damn crews gone back and forth to space was in close proximity to a missile and is now back up in the atmosphere it's gonna need to pop his ears something fierce after this ship is over sorry Oh ex machina also how did dr. Nefario in the minions know that GRU would be coming to vectors late he only knew about the shrink rays effects wearing off it was just trying to warn group and should have no knowledge about the kids or vector moon decides to pause its enlargement for several minutes after this point for dramatic effect you're going to have to jump happens to anyone this movie regardless of what they do so [Music] not so I got a hand it to Victor he's great at being an [ __ ] villain much better than group but I never wanted to punch an animated character in the face more in my entire life all these [ __ ] were able to make a minion chain faster than gravity could pull GRU and Margo to the ground allowing them to be caught right at the last second the moon which has still not increased size since its growth spurt three minutes ago smartly tries to check its way out of this movie also why is there a giant red button that sole purpose is to make the escape pod go straight up god damn it movie I want you to science but once again law enforcement is baffled there's law enforcement in this movie okay wait the orphanage let GRU readapt these girls not only did it give them back a couple days ago he directly influenced their kidnapping from the recital you've turned out to be a great talent to be fair he's only been a parent for a few weeks at the most let's not cash that sentiment in just yet oh good the moon is back in the sky but now it's a super close Bruce Almighty super moon and we're all gonna die when it gets sucked into our gravitational ball cue the Bee Gees many minutes of maddening moronic minion erase existence and we are introducing a product today that takes us exactly there and that product is called iPod we've been working on this for a while it's fizzy lifting drinks they fill you with gas and the gas is so terrifically lifting that it lifts you right off the ground like a balloon [Music] [Applause] and the but for what's a platform for pooping city we sold 43 mini mints 30 choco swirlies in 18 coconut ease you say that like it's a great day all day what is way pretty gonna have to choke a [ __ ] [Music] it has been disintegrated and forever when it disintegrates it disintegrates you main shrink it significant shrinkage

Channel: CinemaSins

Views: 8,682,064

Rating: 4.8762016 out of 5

Keywords: cinemasins, mistakes, eww, movie, wave jockey job, cinema sins, despicable me, everything wrong with, review

Id: CUDyr9b8aKY

Length: 20min 5sec (1205 seconds)

Published: Tue Jun 27 2017

Reddit Comments

[u/ROBOT_B9]

Add 100 million sins for making the Minions a thing.