Everything Wrong With Ice Age In 13 MInutes Or Less

[Music] Scrat the saber-tooth squirrel waited until it was very much winter to find a place to bury as one acorn also this stupid prehistoric squirrel only has one acorn for the winner also saber-tooth squirrels never existed not off to a good start movie I was just thing that already dead I know it would be kind of dark for this movie for kids to open on a prehistoric squirrel carcass but I may prefer that to teaching kids that ill preparedness is hilarious movie expects me to believe that ice cracking has a similar behavior to a lit line of gunpowder did the second glacier just happen to be falling or did another dumbass critter serendipitously cause this one to fall at the same time Scrat is dead Scrat is dead oh don't really scratch is dead I mean that's totally the end of scratch right I mean Jesus I guess I don't have to ever worry about scratch I saw a dead squirrel once my God have mercy on my soul if I figure out whatever monster or Toyota Camry did it why not call it the big Jew for the nippy era because then there would be no naming option for the porn parody of this movie also if there are that many animals then why the wasn't Scrat immediately stepped on the other 99% of the herd seems to just appear out of nowhere how do we know it's an Ice Age you wouldn't for two reasons you know or anyone you know would only know the world as it is because an ice age lasts for thousands of years and also these creatures are probably experiencing a glacial period within an ice age since we are technically still in an ice age today see you probably didn't know that now you can relate to these armadillo pig-nosed creatures no buts you can play extinction later first of all this is incredibly morbid second of all with the herd moving like it is how are these kids able to break away from their parents to play in this tar pit in the first place someone sucks at parenting if my trunk was that small I wouldn't draw attention to myself pal Manny perpetuates trunk Envy which in a few thousand years will evolve it to something else see this is a weakened by Manny's character introduction and not the herd of animals that has been stomping by four presumably a few hours because you know the plot they do this every year sits family abandons him every year yet he's still manages to find them so they can abandon him again and he doesn't anticipate it for the next year it says his name and species while talking to himself because new on sex position is for suckers that creature that walks by must have some powerful butthole in order to shoot his fecal matter to that location because I watched him scuttle by that spot and he did not defecate I can't believe it fresh wild greens these Rhino creatures don't seem to be too worried about migrating with the herd which is great because now they're available till easily manufacture some conflict I'll double-check but I'm pretty sure this is the first children's movie to ever have literally splattered on a characters face now even though these rhinos are super pissed off they feel the need to give this sloth a head start don't let them impair me they have very long fingernails that I didn't see if not I don't know how they will impale him with a flat shovel and a wishbone four horns if either of you make it across that sink all in front of you you get the sloth why would they even be remotely concerned that this is actually a sinkhole SID literally just ran over it when there's plenty of room for them to just walk around the not sinkhole how did they think Manny got over there [Music] simple you and me two bachelors knocking about in the wild I guess at the blue sky pitch meeting for this movie Michael Wilson just said remember last year when DreamWorks did Trek let's do that and we can teach kids about science win-win this sloth is pretty fast they probably should have just made him a fictional prehistoric ferret or something instead of making him a notoriously slow creature that moves normally if the mammoth is Manny the mammoth this must be Percy the person also collars pets these Paleolithic people are very fashion-forward tightly tied my hands and feet and they gag me with a field mouse and barricade the cave door and covered their tracks went to waterslide Louise as senton after all that Syd was able to find them again his entire family must be as dumb as he is force it to be able to track them down after they went through all that trouble also if they did all that last year then why the hell did sits family just leave without doing anything to him this year and why the [ __ ] is this year the year he loses his family for good mani is able to turn around in a shelter even though there was no way you could actually do that well almost nothing has happened so far time for sprat it's really saying something when the most memorable parts of your movie are the little transitional scenes with a squirrel that have nothing to do with the actual plot of the movie how did you not see or hear the mom approaching in a tent there seemed to only be four men in this camp which might be a problem if there weren't just four saber-tooth cats it's literally unbelievable this saber-toothed tiger hasn't caught up to this woman running with a baby yet and picked this hair off my shoulders says look if you're gonna have an extra mating dance at least pick a female with the same color powder that's racist the director said let's have your character eat an apple it'll make him look like even more of an [ __ ] okay she's a lot but the baby is definitely dead but the the baby survived that fall and subsequent turning of the waterfall Nana the human understanding listen very carefully I'm not going any enunciates through his nose seems like an unnecessary way to get this child back to its people even though it would take longer they could just walk baby giggles through a perilous situation cliche what is this you mean need some help track where the baby was downriver literal slapstick well unless you know how to track you're never gonna reach them before the pass closes up with snow why it's knowing how to track a factor Mandy just pointed to where they need to go slight seems to be the only necessary treat for this journey would you write said tigey why he's gonna lead the way mani withhold this plan which creates this awkward moment that I think is supposed to be funny I suggest you watch your back cuz I'll be chewing on it watching it won't do much good at that point I've eaten things that didn't complain this much I would hope that the things Diego eats wouldn't complain because they would be already dead Hey he's wearing one of those baby thingies manny has a pretty solid grasp of the English language but doesn't know the word diaper check for poo I think the entire screenplay was written around this one line hey Bill did we animate any characters getting on their face not sure Tom but I throw some on the mammoth just in case there was no way that was clean he clearly hasn't been changed in over 24 hours Disney very famously animates characters to be as cute as possible Fox on the other hand is like NAT where's the baby there is is peekaboo a game that saber-tooth cats commonly clay I don't remember seeing that at the Museum of Natural History I bet he's hungry how are they not all hungry I don't think any of them have eaten in days Dodos we're not anywhere near in North America they were pretty much stuck on one island in the Indian Ocean also 99% of the species that have existed on earth are extinct yet the dodo has this reputation for being insanely stupid Emmett Starks did also but man he isn't hopping around acting like a fool hey can we have our melon back since when was this every year melon how did they all know at the same time that Sid was trying to steal another melon they might be done but they have a keen sense of when someone is touching their melons this Milind dodo sequence with its music and madcap hijinks feels like it should be delightful but it's not ah said Diego has no idea how watermelons work all say it is full from eating a little bit of watermelon after not eating for an extended time Diego can smell when someone is finally going to sleep apparently tracking down helpless infants too difficult for you so they've been following them this whole time or did the movie just a sign for them to operate here so they could have this conversation that reminds us that Diego is still a bad guy so dough's getting tired of waiting why can't Soto hunt down this baby by himself I'll never understand these villains who really want something then leave it up to others to get it for them Sid and the floozies use a tarp it a natural phenomenon that notoriously trapped and killed prehistoric animals as a jacuzzi also the whole point of this movie is that Sid got left behind and Manny decided not to migrate with the rest of the animals so how that Sid run into two female sloths in this general vicinity baby's eyes have tar repellent powers also the baby would totally be dead at this point and Sid his lady friends would be close behind I need him to do what exactly they already know you have him his presence would just be awkward of your relationship with these sloth women with any further how did these rhinos suddenly show up out of the blue having our heroes traveled some distance and some terrain that would be impossible for these [ __ ] to suddenly happen upon their camp hey this is a petting zoo to you hey hey have you ever seen a petting zoo or a zoo period - sure is faithful what's it choose to lay here I guess it was the only feasible way to reveal that this is Old Faithful giving us context of their location even though that completely screws with the fact that we saw dodo birds earlier who were indigenous to the islands in the Indian Ocean Sid picks up a somehow already completed snowball modern architecture man he knows about architecture but he doesn't know about diapers during the Ice Age snow didn't stick to animal fur who knew Diego wastes his time by covering up a footprint that he could claim as his own and then waste his time some more by making this single four toad human footprint in the snow because fake seeing a lone human footprint in the snow doesn't immediately raise suspicion you know because prehistoric humans have such epically long strides aren't they on a time crunch didn't someone say earlier well unless you know how to track you're never gonna reach them before the pass closes up with snow yeah they decided to take this time to ice-skate where the hell is the threshold on an animal being able to speak English or can the squirrel actually speak English but he just prefers to communicate with charades because he knows charades just as well as the rest of our care can speak English it knows pachyderm many designs to be as unobservant as Syd in this moment based on his Anatomy making and throwing a snowball should be very difficult for manic tip he is able to produce and throw this Boulder sized snowball move sloth movie perpetuates myth that slate yelling can cause long sheets of ice to crumble the group is concerned about this chandelier of icicles even though the area they are standing in is this big the ice from earlier looks a lot like rocks now it was nice of this cave to freeze in the shape of a Natural History Museum also aren't we going to do a whole dawn of the dinosaurs story later who the hell is this guy hey nice sloth evolutionary chart I wonder who's alive millions of years to collect all these guys and piece this all together movie goes to the trouble to reference Star Trek but gives us a generic ask lying saucer instead of any of the thousands of ships in that universe as a reference wasn't the baby ahead of them but the baby survived the room of ice spikes also it's convenient that this ice froze and upon slide formation Manny is behind the baby when he launches into the air and then suddenly he's in front of the baby so he could be calm who's up for out - Diego stole SIDS line or maybe SIDS irritating demeanor is like an airborne illness Manny is almost to the exit of the cave then in no time he's back with Sid and Diego looking at the painting Manny may secretly be the fastest animal in whatever fantasy version of the world they are in backstory cave painting they would have just done a standard flashback but that would be too expensive to animate yeah but put this scenario to occur Manny would have to live in a world where death is possible did Diego and Sid see that animation also they seem to know why Manny is upset did the cape men draw a touching portrait of a loving mammoth family before killing 2/3 of it that's some dark man hypothermia must be completely psychological because Percy here seems just fun also was it not possible for this era of man to grow a full beard because I feel like the five o'clock shadow look isn't entirely plausible here and I guess they just couldn't get through this without a volcano erupting huh it's like roland emmerich or the ten robots who copied roland emmerich on san andreas consulted on this movie i am able to look past some of the scientific inaccuracies of this movie but the last time I checked the melting point of ice is significantly lower than the melting point of rocks if the rocks are hot enough to be lava because there any ice anywhere near it I'm starting to think the animators of this movie did their research by playing the power levels of super mario manis trunk was extended as far as it could go but it still has enough length to reach out for Diego as he's falling down and has enough strength to grab a freaking tiger out of midair convenient and possibly life-saving geyser is going to be you know one touches the mammoth until I get that baby it's going to be a lot easier for them to get the baby if the mammoth isn't in the way you can still eat it this popcorn why is this bad really how can he keep the skis on while he walked I was he able to jump out of the snow with two sticks on his legs I thought this movie wasn't trying the whole time but now I really know what not trying looks like just just this whole part Sid brings the baby over to where he knows the Sabres are they are starving but they just saw the mammoths get lucky and kill their leader with some icicles and they don't want to chance it because who knows if there are more icicles between this moment in the moment earlier with the impossible lava river movie has one too many death fake-out scenes the speedy seems to know what's going on this tense moment is brought to you by no king reason why would you hide the baby and allow a hundred time to kill you before you made your dramatic reveal I mean come on seriously I've seen this Willy the mammoths talk have human emotions and have the capacity to solve problems and it still might be the stupidest fooling the mammoths that has ever lived yeah stop he's just making a dramatic reveal of my baby we are fools none of the humans are surprised that the sloth can pick up and hug a baby like a person also interspecies hugging see these happy humans walking in the distance here now the baby plays peekaboo and sits somehow sees it fun but the sin here is after another 20 seconds of walking can Diego can see it too do you know humans can't talk yeah but at least we actually learn how to talk you and your ancestors never do blue sky paint for this song so they are gonna get their money's worth even if this piece of ice would Scrat in it broke off very recently how could it survive that long in the tropics that's not how deserted islands work we spend two minutes with this [ __ ] rat even though the movie has already ended [Music] see I when I shall never be kings you know what else everybody like posse have you ever met a person you say hey let me get some phosphorus in here no I don't like no poppies poppies are delicious you [Music] what's going on where are we the interchange rolls your right hard [Music] streamlet juice I told you to knock it off easy action go to him look at that little guys growing up for you cuz your blows up and your growths up and your gums up what killed the dinosaurs yeah age

Channel: CinemaSins

Views: 6,780,190

Keywords: sins, eww, ice age, movie sins, ice age review, review, cinema sins, everything wrong with, wave jockey job, cinemasins, everything wrong with ice age

Id: Z9e2c4orAh0

Length: 14min 14sec (854 seconds)

Published: Tue Jul 19 2016