Crusader Kings 3 IS A PERFECTLY BALANCED GAME WITH NO EXPLOITS - Making Money By Divorcing!! #AD

and most importantly our son mega chat who um is looking absolutely damn incredible just look at him his little crowd is beautiful it's amazing oh what a cool child he's so amazing unlike his father who needs to be divorced again hello there ladies and gentlemen i'm the spiffing brit and today you join me in the fantastical world of crusader kings free this game is brand new ladies and gentlemen so new it hasn't even been released yet that's right ahead of this game's release paradox have decided to pay me that's right they are actually paying me to play their game now the violence of course um a little bit questionable and the exploits oh my goodness are there exploits ladies and gentlemen we have some fantastical things to show off today in what is effectively a world's first and exclusive of crusader kings 3 and what is probably its first ever recorded exploit my goodness this will be fun so yes if you're new here welcome to the channel and also considering all of you are new to crusader kings 3 welcome to crusader kings 3 i should probably actually quickly explain what this game is it's basically crusader kings 2 but much easier to get into you control a country but not via controlling a country but via controlling its ruler and then using the country's ruler you can start making your various changes to society expanding your borders developing your society building up your domains you name it you can do it this game has it all from conquering the entire world to becoming someone who is so prestigious and well renowned that you've effectively become a celebrity one even more famous than perhaps dwayne the rock johnson the most famous man alive god i don't know how that's happened yes without further ado i should actually dive into this game and show off just how beautiful this perfectly balanced game is going to be because trust me the developers have done some lovely things of it so make sure you sat back relax with a nice warm cup of tea in front of you because this video is going to be an absolute roller coaster and if you're feeling especially fantastic i want to prove to paradox that they weren't mistaken in deciding to pay me to make this video then feel free to give this video a like it does massively help out right now into the video right so welcome ladies and gentlemen to the world of crusader kingsfree now this is effectively a huge map but almost everything here can be played you see when i select the holy roman empire i'm playing as emperor heinrich iv of the holy roman empire a cynical content wrathful little sausage who is leading one of the most powerful dynasties in europe however i don't have to play as emperor heinrich iv instead i can zoom right the way down into the holy roman empire's territory and play as juke otto of bavaria but then again why would i want to play jugotta of bavaria when i can actually zoom in even further and play as count fimo of munchen that's right you can play as a tiny count in control of one region or you can scale it right the way up and play as an emperor the choice is yours ladies and gentlemen now who are we playing today logically you'd want me to play as king harold ii godwinson of england no no no instead we won't be playing as any of those people we will instead be playing as duchess matilda of tuscany now dutch's matilda of tuscany is a very unique character because i find that she's in the most prime spot to effectively destroy this game's balance she is a 20 year old diligent calm zealous individual who controls all of these lovely highlighted lands here which puts her in a decent spot she is of course just the subject of the holy roman empire but you know for a subject she has immense power but when she starts out the game i'm afraid she was going to be weak and almost powerless but thanks to the powers of yorkshire tea gold we're going to be exploiting our way to glorious success so let's dive away into this lovely experience so welcome to the actual in-game map you'll notice not much has changed but basically looking at the exact same screen but most importantly the greatest change from ck2 to ck3 is that you can now move the camera using the was d keys instead of the arrow keys my god modern gameplay design choices well done paradox now starting out as the leader of tuscany we control six castles the castle of ferrara modern medina manchua brescia florence and siena all of these are lovely little territories which give us soldiers as well as tax and so consequently are very valuable now before we actually start the game we need to do several key important things number one there's no heir to our dynasty meaning if matilda of tuscany was to die it's game over secondly we don't have a lifestyle choice and thirdly we're not even married these are all things that need to be rectified so firstly let's pick ourselves a lifestyle now this is completely different from what ck2 is like effectively you can have your character go down a bunch of different lifestyles and then change their lifestyles whenever they like just to harvest absolutely ludicrous bonuses and the game wants me to play into matilda's strength and go down a diplomatic tree oh yes maybe give me benevolent intent so that i can woo characters better maybe make me a bit more inspiring or something but no no no we don't want any of that instead go on over to stewardship here ladies and gentlemen and pick one of the focuses on the left hand side of the screen we're going to pick up the domain focus and this is going to start us generating stewardship experience at a rate of 25 per month meaning after three years time we'll have our first perk and the first perk we're going to go for ladies and gentlemen is golden obligations and don't worry i'll explain why that is the most overpowered perk of the game very soon oh ladies and gentlemen i've just spoken to the duchess matilda of tuscany she's got a very special offer for all of you that's right for the first 6 000 peasants in the audience watching who like this video they will receive a once in a lifetime opportunity to lay down their life in the expansion of our empire it's a noble and glorious tradition which will see your name be remembered fondly in at least one piece of text on the side of a massive monolith which will of course praise the greatness of our incredible duchess matilda long may she reign so why not sign up today because service guarantees probably inevitable death ladies and gentlemen do you know what time it is it's time for our first marriage which means it's time for a game show that's right ladies and gentlemen it's time for my favorite part of the show it's time for who do we marry today remember it's 1066 the medieval period is in a good swing and consequently finding a lover has never been more difficult we are duchess matilda of tuscany we're wealthy rich and illustrious and for goodness sake we're duchess which means we get to avoid the regular peasant rabble which comes pre-equipped with scurvy and often iqs which are on par with common houseplants so yes we get to ascend those ranks and decide a husband one who is of great stock and value and most importantly has a lot of money why do we want a husband with a lot of money well that's where the best parts of marriage comes into the picture you see there are two sides to every marriage the celebrations and the divorce both of which are a great way of making money and that's exactly what we're going to do and oh my oh my i found a very healthy specimen indeed it's waltered ladies and gentlemen walterd comes to us at only 23 years of age and with very good stewardship skills this means his ability to generate money for us will be legendary and that's what i look for in a husband sure princess karen's husband might do the bins for her and a lot of the tiding of the castle but no my husband will be busy trading forex stocks or whatever the medieval equivalent for that is welcome into the family walterd may your presence be very profitable now ladies and gentlemen we've just had a glorious wedding ceremony so many people were there to bask in our glory and just tell us how brilliant we are but that's made me realize something the best part of being married is the getting married part all those people were there to celebrate us we've become famous because of the wedding ceremony so surely we'd like to become more famous and what better way to become more famous and fabulously rich than by divorcing your husband taking part of his wealth and then getting remarried and having another glorious prestigious ceremony oh matilda you are one sly and intelligent fox let the divorce begin six and a half hours later now honestly i was looking to maybe remarry someone else but i've realized that duke walter he's such a beautiful man okay no i'm lying he's not beautiful but sadly in the divorce proceedings we lost access to the dog and i kind of like our dog back and consequently i'm going to remarry duke walter i know i know remarrying the same person surely the wedding ceremony can't have the same amount of prestige because it's a little bit awkward with the same families being in the same church having the exact same ceremony they were having literally last month but i'm sure it'll be fine now the thing is using her husband were able to gain infinite prestige and also infinite money now the reason is why do i choose to get infinite prestige rather than infinite money via a repeated process of divorcing and weddings well the reason why is because money is actually exceedingly easy to come by all you're going to need is a relatively competent spy master in my case i have count and selmo here who has 13 intrigue which is quite good now what we're going to have the count do is go on over to the court of the holy roman empire and have him try and discover secrets so what he's going to do is he's going to basically sniff around the court and try and see if anyone's been doing naughty things so there we go we're going to let some time take on now and we've been invited to join the holy roman empire's council as a steward yes i'd love to do that so now we're actually inside the holy roman empire's council we will be able to have a sway in terms of what actually happens oh and fantastic we're also pregnant now that will make our husband happy but most importantly i'm pretty sure you gain prestige via pregnancy which is lovely of course that's a famous mathematical equation everyone knows that my goodness i've had a child oh yes we're not going to call him enrico what is our boy he doesn't even have any traits yet he has nothing he's just a tiny noodle can we change his clothes and stuff yes we can let's give him prison racks no no no western arbor oh my goodness you could put the children in clothes oh my goodness this is insane i love putting the bit over it's hilarious look at it blizzard tied arbor this gives you long and wild hair and let's also give you the reichstag oh my god could i give this to a child apply changes okay so my brand new son and heir oh my god he looks so cool he's a mega chad really just look at him mega chad bam so this is my son and heir mega chat deaconosa he's only zero but already he's wearing full byzantinian military garbs as well as the reichstone which is a crown only given to the holy roman emperor himself it's the holy roman emperor's crown certainly not looking as cool on his head anyway once again you know i kind of want to become a distinguished person because at the moment our prestige only makes us established but that's not as good as being distinguished so i'd like to try and get myself some additional prestige now all we're going to once again have to do is spend a hundred piety in order to divorce our lovely husband duke wolthard of tuscany sorry request divorce naturally the pope is always on our side and so the divorce is sent through sorry jude walthard and then i'm going to go over to him and immediately arrange a marriage there we go come on we just want to get married look at this lovely stuff and there we go marriage secured wedding celebrations can now begin ah ladies and gentlemen i invite you back to my next wedding to of course duke watered now many of you have probably seen this before but allow me to tell all of you in attendance at our lovely wedding that our love is eternal i'd like to tell you that all of you who have doubts about our marriage are wrong our marriage will last an entire lifetime it will be the lifetime of a butterfly and consequently very short but a lifetime nonetheless now everyone take a toast in my honor and bask in my eternal gloriousness of divorces now with even more gold we're going to naturally spend more of it what's this available lifestyle perk there we go golden obligations we can now demand payment for hook so what is a hook ladies and gentlemen well in this game a hook is kind of like a favor which someone owes you or maybe it's a bit of blackmail oh and here we go it has begun so our first event has happened so my spymaster is currently sat inside the capital of the holy roman empire over here in kielenburg now it doesn't really matter where the capital is but all that matters is that the capital is a source of many people because the capital includes all of the court members of the holy roman empire as well as all of the many vassals who are stationed currently around there consequently there's a whole bunch of people who are all coming in and centering on this one location now when you position your spymaster with the lovely fine secrets mission and you slap him right down in the capital of a large empire well then your spymaster is going to find secrets and what has he discovered well he's discovered that iadgoof here has a lover's secret well we can see that she is currently having a secret lover affair with harold godwinson godwin who i'm pretty sure was the king of england at one point what on earth is he now he's unlanded okay so he was the king of england uh right up until a few months ago when william the conqueror seized it all but yes so she is having an affair this lovely lady with the ex-king of england now the thing is this doesn't actually matter it doesn't really bother us but what we are able to do is we're able to blackmail her and say hey we're going to tell everyone that you have an illicit lover with the ex-king of england and she will of course 100 accept because she wants the secret protected and it's a major secret and so when we blackmail her she is going to give us a strong hook this is effectively an iou this strong hook will allow us to basically have her do anything we can forcefully have a marry someone but more importantly we can use our perk which we picked up thanks to golden obligations which means we can demand payment for hooks for each little bit of blackmail we have on someone we can right click on them hit demand payment and good old iad kufu here will pay 105 gold for us to give up the information that she had a secret lover 105 gold this equates to about 1 6 of the necessary funding to build an entire bloody castle and it's basically as much money as you need to actually build a large wall and tower although my personal favorite that 105 gold is almost enough to hire 713 mercenaries it is absolutely stupid how much money that actually is oh and what's this oh now this is some good espionage a lovely count spymaster has discovered the duke ernst of austria has secretly taken the duchess of flanders to become lovers my goodness wait duke ernst who is 35 is taking this 50 year old woman i mean i'm not i'm not going to judge drew guards i'm not going to judge but you're an athletic young 35 year old and she's an arrogant 50 year old i mean is there something wrong with your wife i suppose okay right your wife's chased okay fine now i can see why jukart's just doing this there we go we're going to blackmail duke owens for his love of a secret but because of course we discovered two people in this plot we're going to be able to blackmail duchess richie as well for a hug there we go we get to blackmail her for a strong hook and at the same time we also get to blackmail harold godwinson the ex-king of england and so there we go hopefully we all get hooks now harold godwinson does not want to bow down to the black male and so naturally i will expose it and he shall be punished for it but because i have these two lovely jukes and duchesses under my belt i'm going to be able to request payment from them when they actually have enough money pretty sure the duchess does have enough money so there we go i'll demand payment from the duchess she's going to give me 108 gold to go away there we go that's your secret gone and then as soon as the duke of austria actually has enough money we'll get a little pop-up and we'll be able to milk him for all that he's worth one of my favorite features is that any children you have you automatically have a weak hook on them because you know they're children so effectively we're going to be able to demand blackmail pavement from our child where they become old enough it's kind of like your child reaches the age of 16 and you're like okay right now you have to pay me back for all those years of childhood and as things are going well in our empire what i'm going to do is i'm going to have my bishop here try and fabricate a claim on the city of pisa and then i'm going to hand this territory over to my son for control this will hopefully expand my empire very nicely and i've noticed i'm currently a very pious individual i've got 250 piety so you know what that means we need to start the divorce chain so juke waltard of tuscany i'm sorry but i need to spend 100 party and get you divorced my friend goodbye you've been divorced and now i need to actually marry you so there we go i'd like you to marry me matrilineally well well well many old faces here at today's wedding mostly because it's exactly the same wedding as a few years ago and everyone's just aged a bit but absolutely nothing has changed we've still got the same standout crowd and of course all the rich and famous people in attendance who want to see how long this marriage will last and just by having the fabulously rich and wealthy here i get more and more famous with each passing divorce there is no end to my divorcing powers and there is no limits to how famous i can become by doing so sure you might be a crusader king going off and having great battles of glory but why risk your life when instead you can just convince the pope that your husband is actually in love with a potato and consequently not mentally fit to be married to me as is the way with medieval europe oh we've got a brand new son santee i want to be named santa very well you shall be my son santa may you grow strong and wise child what's this duke earns to send me a gift but it's filled with something that's suddenly making me feel very sick oh goodness i'm not feeling well for seven years duke ernst of austria you evil sausage oh i guess we are rivals aren't we is there anything i can do i can demand payment from you i can do that right i want 120 gold from you they go enjoy bankruptcy and as soon as i get up to 500 party i'm going to request that this man is excommunicated maybe i can murder him here's my rival that's a goal for later on i want him dead now welcome back ladies and gentlemen i'd like to draw your attention to the main menu screen so what the game does is it shows you the family of basically who you were last playing in our case it's got us the duchess matilda of tuscany a lovely husband who we've divorced four times and most importantly our son mega chad who um is looking absolutely damn incredible just look at him his little crowd is beautiful it's amazing oh what a cool child he's so amazing unlike his father who needs to be divorced again right now welcome back to our game and what i'm going to deliberately do is i'm going to actually try and gain more piety because we need a hundred party to get a divorce right but having a divorce gives us more prestige and more money so how are we going to get piety well luckily the game featured a little way for us to do that we can go on a pilgrimage that's right we're taking dutch's matilda of tuscany on a pimping pope journey it's going to be great we're going to visit a whole bunch of holy sites where we're going to go we could go to cologne fatty vaticano or jerusalem oh my goodness i mean the vatican is literally just down the road from us cologne is pretty far but jerusalem is a crossover bloody sea let's go check out jerusalem oh yeah this is going to be brilliant departure let's go it's time to depart goodbye tuscany you suck oh and of course at the same time i'm trying to uh seduce my husband because he's kind of a little bit salty about the amount of times i've divorced him by now so you know what i'm going to write a love poem because i'm so good at diplomacy ah the candle is burning low when i finally finish my poem before i send it i give it one last read your big hands are the life-giving of my world i would be blessed if i could hear your voice again as i may know the touch of the divine oh my goodness oh and of course he sends a letter in return while i cannot encourage you duchess matilda i am most grateful for your kind words yours faithfully waltered yes the pursuit of duke walter will continue with glorious success we will sway him he will be mine okay so apparently whilst on this pilgrimage to jerusalem i have a choice to stand out in the rain and listen to a priest but potentially have a 30 chance of gaining effectively the common cold but it does give me 250 piety which is like two more divorces so you know what what's the risk there we go we're not sick perfect i'm finally here in jerusalem oh brilliant oh i get 625 piety i gained the trade pilgrim and i also gained the determined pilgrim bonus for 10 years oh this is amazing look at that plus 10 party each month we can have a divorce every 50 months now that's incredible oh this is brilliant and there we go i finally returned the pilgrimage is over glorious success now one thing that we can do is we can actually build up a nice large standing army of our own so we should probably actually get on with that because as great as having a levy army is a levy is effectively a whole bunch of peasants oh cool i have a child beatrice or can't call a child beatrice no we want to give her a strong name something solid with substance something that you can build on yeah of course it's perfect we'll name her sandy may you grow and be strong and wise and also give me more prestige fire existing alright so we can have technically up to 3621 levies but we can also build men arms regiments these are groups of men who will basically run around and fight for you now this system can effectively be cheesed because the light footmen are by far the most powerful one provided you're not fighting in open planes do never fight in open planes with light footman so we're going to build up some nice men at arms regiments one squad of bowmen and one squad of light footman should be good it does cost us a bit of money but we do have a large amount of money sword is fine anyway we've managed to gain our first perk in the intrigue tree which means we can pick up the truth is relative this allows us to start missions to just fabricate hooks on people this is brilliant because it basically means i can just find some kind of rich random sausage anywhere in the world who's looking nice and wealthy i know how about the duke of lombardy yeah he's got a bit of money and what we're going to do is quite simply fabricate a hook it's got an 87 chance of success and we're going to fabricate our iconic lovely stuff and once we get this hook all we need to do is simply convince him that we'll reveal this hook unless he pays us a whole bunch of money and we get a whole bunch of money for basically fabricating a lie about someone it's perfect oh and there we go we finally got our claim on the county of lombardy lovely stuff now we can fabricate that claim properly and we can technically go to war for our lovely claim he does have an inferior army only 1 000 men oh that's uh that's not good at all so let's declare that war lovely stuff and time to raise up our armies let's see how they do oh we've also discovered duke wealth's lover secret oh this is perfect this is very useful to know and whilst we're here we'll quickly blackmail that for a hook lovely stuff there we go we get a weak hook we'll be able to turn that into money in a little bit but for the time being let's march our army over into the enemy lands what's this duke ernst i was riding through the streets of florence when a mob of screaming and shouting peasants descended on my retinue thankfully the guards did not hesitate to start cutting them down left and right or so we made our way back to the castle it was undoubtedly the work of duke ernst duke ernst is trying to murder me this annoying sausage my rival how dare he we need to find a way to completely and utterly sabotage his life i'll get to lose a hundred opinion of duke ernst and all of my family members will hate duke ernst for his very mean attempt on my life what a mean sausage i need to start a scheme against him i need to request an excommunication i can excommunicate him perfect the pope will accept lovely i was going to use 500 party but it's worth it excommunicate my rival take that ah yes it's for the good of the catholic faith okay he was a sadistic person oh he's been excommunicated that serves you right so now he generates 50 less party per month which basically means he will generate none because he's a minus 300 party and also all catholics now hate him and it's also perfectly legal to just imprison him this makes a little bit easier for us to actually try and murder him because people are less likely to like him apparently i can use my hook on my um my son lord mayor santa i can get 70 gold out of him if i like i could call him my ally which i'm not going to do i can lawfully imprison this random courtier for being an adulterer and i can designate a guardian for mega chad right well i should be the guardian i can ransom two prisoners there we go for 140 gold bam and 403 gold bam ransoming people is a great way to make money that and hooks you probably your two best bets there we go lovely stuff went up to just under 600 gold ah new sun there we go what does this sun got he's got no positive traits fine we'll give him a regular name he's perfectly normal which is the most generic name i can think of dave perfect may you grow to be strong and wise dave what i've gained a perk mothered many children it's a bit of a strange perks okay general opinion plus five okay guess people just like us because i have a whole bunch of kids it does make me a bit prestigious i guess oh this is great so my vassal who i've deliberately not had on any of the council positions because he's just a bit garbage has started trying to bring other vassals onto his side now what i'm going to do is i'm just going to basically blame everything on roberto here so all problems will now be blamed on alberto things go wrong men die alberto's fault oh we've gained a manipulation hook on him perfect lovely stuff you know we can do that manipulation hook could modify our contract but more importantly i can demand payment from him 114 gold please roberto thank you very much oh and i'm once again pregnant i mean i'm just going to effectively be pregnant for years his character will now have insane fertility stats i don't even want to know like i'm pretty sure we're receiving a plus 50 positive modifier we might be 33 but it's not gonna stop us from having more than five children oh and apparently i formed an alliance with my husband because he's now actually the control of a region he controls this one tiny little fort over in magdeburg so well done my husband is starting to actually go on adventures of his own he's independent oh and i have a brand new son of course what's special about him he's not special fine well if he's completely not special and boring we'll name him after his father bonifacio after your father your father's walterd why is why do you want to be called pony facial is he not the father who is the father i feel like this is some information i should probably have access to a hundred percent war school we get to enforce our demands and we get to steal the capital bingo bango bogo congratulations we've done it lombardi is now ours lovely stuff we even get to disband all of our armies wait what's this because my husband's gone away he's not actually helping boost my stats no that's terrible because he holds land he can't boost my stats i'm sorry duke walter but this is uh this is the one final divorce you are gone for good now duke walterd i'm sorry but if you want to go and prove your own empire that's great for you and hopefully one of my kids will inherit your titles but i am not having a husband who can't boost my admin stats okay right we need a new husband right sort by stewardship skill right we're gonna go marry a random person we're gonna go for pieto here who is only 23 years old he's not very special and it's gonna cost us 200 prestige to marry him although we'll get some prestige back the chance of children is apparently none but i'm sure that will change because our fertility is insane yes we're going to go marry this random person welcome duke pierto you don't hold any land so you'll be able to boost my stats or when i get to gain 450 prestige lovely stuff right now that you're on the castle yes we'll have you set to manage domain boosting my steward ship up to 23 allowing me to control this additional castle lovely milan is mine and my heir is first in line to inherit magdeburg oh yes from my ex-husband you know what that means uh let's try and speed up the process a bit and murder my ex trust me it'll go fine welcome back friends um some unique things have happened whilst you've been away we've received a call to arms from the king of croatia now we're just technically a duchess but what we've done in order to try and sow the seeds of our dynasty is we've betrothed sandy here to the king of croatia the king is only 10 and sandy is only 7 and technically will probably die literally any point because she's ill oh god what have i done to you but yes we're going to go over and help the king of croatia with his independence war but it's all going to be fine because i've got a brand new army and my brand new army includes a metric ton of archers why do we have a ton of archers you ask well it's because i've decided to in all of my lovely castles build high to tents these high tens provide plus two archer damage for each one that we have and we can upgrade them and they'll actually do even more at the end of the game you can have them doing plus nine damage and plus four toughness for each individual archer in your army what this means in principle is that with 400 archers we can raise their base attack from 25 to where it is at the moment to 27 although by the time i finished it's going to actually be around about plus 16 meaning we can have our archers do about a nice 40 damage which would be fantastic now what i'm going to do is i'm going to build up some supplies and then i'm going to head into the enemy territory as soon as i've got some nice supplies up and then we'll go help with this independence war all right anyway we're going to jump into the enemy army and hopefully the croatians will come and back us up in this fight it's 5 000 men versus two thousand so it's a bit of an even battle but to our advantage we have a whole bunch of archers fighting in favorable terrain oh and yes things are looking good the dice rolls are on our side and the combat is going well we will lose a lot of men here but it's okay because it was a glorious victory oh what's this my son he's finally of age he's 16 years old oh they grew up so fast he's become a brilliant strategist as well as a forwarder lovely he's got a little bit longer to go in his life but this is a brilliant start now here's my soul heir so it's probably time that we get him married to someone who's you know good rather than i don't know this uh person who's slow let's find him a naturally good wife that would be a splendid idea let's try and find some positive inheritable traits now there is henrik here who would probably be a good shout she's a swabian and most importantly she has the trait of pretty which means any children that these two have would have quite a decent chance to inherit the pretty trait which would be brilliant it will send off this marriage proposal congratulations mega chad you're about to get yourself married what's this my spymaster died oh finally great my spymaster legitimately was one of the worst spymasters i've ever had and none of these other spy masters look good at all they actually all look pretty terrible so i'm probably actually going to need to invite people to my court who are actually good so hopefully in order to get some new people into my court i'm going to try and hold a feast let's send out some invitations it'll only cost 100 gold and during this feast we'll discover a brand new court here who will be perfect when it comes to intrigue so let's have our cheery gathering welcome friends now there was an interesting little exploit which i might be able to actually pull off but this will probably be for a different playthrough and it actually involves someone like this person here having friends although this man is interesting because we might be able to form an intimate relationship with him oh yes you know let's form an intimate relationship with this man now normally i just have him be my friend because there's something very important about friends and the family focus you can gain two random skill points for each friend you have and actually the one beneath it also allows you to gain one random skill point per child you have which is insane because what this means is you grab this perk and this perk have as many children and friends as you like and you can get close to having infinite stats but no instead we're going to try and make him our lover for one very important reason it turns out when i was selecting who we should marry i forgot to check if our husband was homosexual so yes my husband is homosexual meaning our chances of having children quite low um so the game wasn't like to me and there we go we gained 150 prestige and everyone likes us for holding a feast but as you can just see four more high tents have finished construction meaning my bowmen now do 37 damage they're becoming a very formidable force oh and fantastic we've discovered some more espionages duke wealth of lombardy has a secret lover so of course we're going to blackmail him there we go come on tell me about your lovely little secret blackmail refused well exposed my friend and there we go the warren croatia has ended so we've kind of solidified our new vassals uh power hold which will be brilliant because helping out your vassals is a great way to cement your future success oh fantastic i can also go for yet another war against the lombards this would give us the region of ceramona here which will probably let me actually steal the title of the duke of lombardy from out underneath the duke of lombardy himself so with our 700 improved bowmen let's go siege this down and when i say improved bowman i mean really improved moment look at this 37 damage that's just lovely i'm sure they cost a little bit of money but we have a lot of money oh my goodness fantastic one of my agents has acquired a deadly spider and we can hide it in count walters bed before dark if that goes to plan we can kill him with a poison spider 41 chance of success die by friend come on it worked oh yes and no one even found out thankfully spiders do not talk so the attack cannot be traced back to be we've killed our ex-husband brilliant news and you know what that means it means also my son has inherited his father's land yes magdeburg is under our control now yes now that's how to really gain control of land which you really shouldn't have access to because tuscany now includes the city of bologna but this is fine what's this powerful vassal's demand council positions my son demands a council position well son my goodness please take the role of marshall you are one heck of a good marshal but bam you're gonna be perfect let's have you train the commanders up as this will be brilliant train the commanders i want a better army thanks to you uh we've completed this war let us get control of this county lovely stuff the contested county is ours we can even ransom back the prisoner for a whole bunch of gold lovely now this region which is now ours there isn't really much point of us holding on to it because it's a bit expensive so instead we're going to do what makes sense and hand it over to mega chad the more land mega chat has the more powerful he will become mega chad you're wise an incredible soul here have more land on my mayor son has finally grown up santa's come of age santa is an intricate web weaver well i mean you kind of have to be to know who's naughty or nice so good job santa you grow up so fast i know you'll manage pizza very well well done santa oh no my plot to murder duke ernst has become exposed oh my involvement is not yet known this will make it a little bit more difficult to actually go forward with our plans well i still want duke ernst murdered he's very annoying he's my rival so he'll be trying to murder me as well so it's it's kind of fair yes i think it is oh and the betrothed can marry santa please get married come on good luck with your marriage more children is more good for the family oh what's this oh the person who i just attacked and murdered uh is being forced to become my vassal because the emperor of the hre said that he needs to be oh that must be really annoying bishop salvesto oh welcome into my vassal fold it's brilliant we have a whole bunch of land i mean having all that land has gotten me a little bit closer to actually creating maybe a kingdom or maybe in fact i might actually be able to steal a kingdom am i able to usurp the oh my goodness i can usurp the kingdom of rome from underneath the pope this is definitely going to annoy the pope but seeing as he's 59 he's probably not going to last long enough to really worry about it so all we're going to need is 500 gold and then we can steal the poke i mean actually we can ask the pope for gold let's do that right pope give me the 500 gold thank you for the bloody pope and now let us become the king of rome there we go we're now a mighty queen oh brilliant look at our lovely kingdom the kingdom of romagna all under our control and i've just been handed yet another vassal by the emperor of the hre i've just been given all of the vassals in the kingdom of rome lovely stuff oh the pope is probably not too happy with us but that doesn't really matter because we now have a great big empire look at this and i suppose now that our lovely priest isn't doing anything we might as well start fabricating on even more territories let's get out and about start fabricating and eventually we can hopefully form the kingdom of italy we're only three counties away from it even if we don't form it our son can probably do it and i can create the duchy rancona very well let's do that oh my goodness our prestige is looking good let's give some of these titles to people go to give the duchy vancouna over to lord mayor mega santa so there we go he can have that that'll make our son happy and he can probably also have the other one the duchy of pisa because why not congratulations and the duchy of spaletta we can hand off to our son pene pasta i suppose i actually can't i suppose i could just hand it over to doge santa i mean why not do santa can have that enjoy spaletto the annoying thing though is that my son is now a powerful vassal and so would like a seat on the council but there's actually no need for me to give it to him because he is my son and so he won't ever do anything against me oh and my daughter sandy's grown up oh she's 16 years old and she's become a fortune builder brilliant look at that she's going to be great at stewardship and now she can get married to the king of croatia lovely oh she's gonna get some brilliant bonuses from this as well ah yes and this is a good step for my dynasty a very good start and one which will improve our house's legacy currently there are 18 living members of our dynasty which is brilliant stuff certainly more than i kind of expected an attempt on my life duke ernst is behind it god damn it duke ernst right this has made me watchful i lose a hundred opinion of him and oh my goodness i'm allowed to rightfully imprison him although i don't know if i can duke ernst is a one-eyed seducer who's been excommunicated by me he's apparently also athletic a flexible leader oh my goodness what a complicated character we're already trying to murder him but this just gets worse and worse i mean controls the entirety of austria if i could go to war with him i would i really would oh and there we go i get yet another claim fabricated brilliant stuff so i could take the county of pelesny if i liked and actually i could add it under my control i have a spare domain i could take control of so how difficult would it actually be to go to war with you you have some allies to have a similar fight oh it's because you've got the duke of bavaria on your side well i of the king of croatia on mine so provided we call in our allies this isn't impossible and we're so close to becoming exalted among men with our prestige let's do this declare the war we are definitely going to have to call in croatia though it's going to cost us 350 prestige to have him join the war but it's going to be worth it oh and who's the commander of my army let's none over the mega chat himself yes let's go mega chad good luck and also i've built some brand new camp cooks which means my arches are once again a little bit better then up to 42 damage i need to improve them let me spend some gold to improve the rent and you size oh you are terrifying archers you really are anyway we've now got the kingdom of creatures joined us in the fray this is going to be one heck of a massive siege here just 40 days to break down the walls and then the ward gold will now be under our control brilliant stuff we'll support the croatian army if they get into any troubles oh and yes it's going to be a glorious fight we're even going to be able to get our reinforcements in go count mega chat of bulogner against jukheinrik of bavaria oh it will be a glorious success and we've routed them perfect just as the enemy forces arrive and we'll be able to sweep up this reinforcing army as well lovely stuff oh two glorious battles all right let us advance into the enemy so far our first two fights have gone brilliantly wait hang a second the dojo pizza has changed i thought the dojo pizza was my son what have you done with santa santa i gave you land and you've lost it to some random juke oh my goodness santa you melon you've minus 500 prestige oh you are getting nothing in the inheritance everything's going to mega chad as it should and fantastic pede pastor has become a naive appeaser oh he's garbage pen a pastor why could you be good let's get him married off to someone someone who actually has influence all right let's go for someone of a similar age with a decent trait there we go this random greek person they have good health and they have a good trade so good luck penne pasta we'll even get a new alliance out of this go and have lots of children very important welcome back ladies and gentlemen i'm currently pulling off what is quite possibly the most fun i've ever had in the war in this game so the war was a little bit scrappy it turns out the duke of corinthia has not only a whole bunch of allies in bavaria but also a whole bunch of mercenaries so what i've had to do is i've had to call in croatia using the alliance to have with my daughter and form an alliance with one of the princesses of france so that i can call france into the war then once i had all of that i realized the reason we were losing a couple of battles was because duke hermann himself was leading the fight and duke herman himself isn't bad i mean he's a bit bad now because he's gout rid and wounded and a bit of a drunkard but before then he was actually pretty good at fighting so naturally what i've done is i've arranged an assassin to murder duke hermann this will hopefully fragment up the duchy a bit and maybe even break the alliance with bavaria so we're gonna murder duke hermann and hopefully it works what my attempt on juke herman's life has been forted the assassin made her way to the duke's chamber but found him in the company of bianca his lover bianca sprang to herman's aid and in the defense left both her and the assassin dead on the floor oh my goodness all right i need a new plan my aim was to kill the duke instead i just murdered his lover i needed a new plan oh come on juke you were meant to die you weren't meant to live let's go defeat the rest of duke herman's armies we cannot have them live we must defeat them in battle drew kerman is just terrifying to fight against he's pretty solid but now i think we've almost completely foiled this war there we go we've almost completed this war or to think that thousands of men died just so that i could steal this tiny sliver of land from someone who i didn't realize was actually this powerful oh but it's a twist of fate duke herman has died of gow anyway oh i thought he was going to be a bit of an issue but no he died of gout lovely lovely stuff so hopefully his empire is kind of fragmented a bit and i can actually finish my war now let's enforce my demands against duke gerbhardt what a glorious success i gained 15 fame for that and everything now probably the best of it which you've accidentally missed was the fact that i've become exalted among men that's right i've generated enough prestige to become this bloody famous and you know what happens when you're this famous you make yourself more famous so what i'm going to do is i'm going to give myself additional diplomacy per level of flame oh this sounds nice this will really boost my diplomacy or level of fame impact plus 100 let's go for a level of fame impact i must say our queen has had an incredible life she's 50 years old but she's been doing brilliantly oh my goodness what is this apparently the byzantine emperor wants to go to war with the king of croatia to steal his land uh we are not going to be able to help you in this war i hope you know because there is no way we can win this war so i'd love to hit decline and i'm going to it's only going to worsen our relationship by 20. it'll be fine i'm sorry friend i'm so sorry oh no i'm getting old i'm getting old and i've slowly died i'm 51 years old it's too soon for me to die too soon oh no i think i'm possessed oh beans i possessed that's not a good idea oh no i've died oh what a shame sadly dutch's matilda has passed away aged 53 she died from a seizure plagued by demons she often raved about her imminent doom however mega chad ascends to the throne having mastered many skills he's sure to be admired by his subjects oh my goodness what a shame she was exalted among men but she was so close to becoming quite literally god amongst men but she was fantastic an absolute cultural head she fought 11 foreign wars eight offensive and free defensive she was truly amazing now i'm actually going to end my story here today ladies and gentlemen because we've only been following the life and adventures of the duchess matilda of ramagna but a new story must begin in our empire for there are new adventures to be had and i'm afraid we won't be doing that in today's episode so if you want to see more of crusader king's free then hop down into the comments section and give this video a like it really does help us out and it also tells us that you want to see more of this crazy adventure now of course mega chad we've set him up to be quite possibly one of the most strongest military commanders in the entire world so he's in a prime position with a huge amount of money to expand quite comfortably and create the empire of italy of course he can do all of that and more so who knows what he can get up to of course if you want to his adventures then give us a shout so thank you very much for watching and of course thank you very much to paradox for effectively paying for this video and sending me a nice little goodie box i mean i was going to do crusader kings free anyway but it's always nice to have a free goodie box and paradox and also it means i get to spend more money on tea which is always a nice bonus anyway as always thank you very much for watching and i hope you have an absolutely fantastic day and a massive thank you to each and every one of my majestic patrons who make these fantastic videos all the more possible seriously thank you very much all of you who've stuck around for the last few months have really helped us start work on some brand new projects and i'm very excited to see where we end up going with them so thank you very much and hey if you want to watch more videos like this then i have an entire crusader kings 2 series dedicated to the adventures of 100 stat man who was the most powerful character ever created he's brilliant he's absolutely insane and most importantly he's going to try and murder hundreds and hundreds of people so it's well worth watching his series here anyway thank you very much ladies and gentlemen and i'll see each and every one of you in the next one have an absolutely fantastic day and goodbye for now

Channel: The Spiffing Brit

Views: 2,067,343

Rating: 4.9647946 out of 5

Keywords: Spiffing, Brit, the, crusader kings III, crusader kings 3, ck3, ck3 gameplay, gameplay, crusader kings, CK2, spiffing brit, PERFECTLY BALANCED GAME, Making Money By Divorcing, making money, crusader kings 3 making money, crusader kings funny, funny moments, exploit, video game, grand strategy, funny, rt game, crusader kings is perfectly balanced, gameplay footage, gold exploit, video game exploit, overpowered, funny montage, ck3 funny, crusader, kings, crusader kings 3 gameplay

Id: 289TqIqDLJQ

Length: 43min 26sec (2606 seconds)

Published: Tue Aug 25 2020

Reddit Comments

[u/innerparty45]

This dude actually broke the balance in a preview advert lmao.

[u/wildlight]

This video is brilliant. I'm going to enjoy the initial period of breaking this game in every conceivable way till Paradox has a chance to fix as much as possible.

Definitely think you shouldn't be able to remarry a character and there should be a major cool down bonuses you get for remarrying.

Looks like some of the systems are a bit unbalanced nothing looks so broken it looks like its going to need a massive overhaul so far, but hard to tell. Definitely seems to be the best ck3 video to date.

[u/TheSpiffingBrit]

These Perk options are insane :D I haven't even gotten started yet with how broken it can get!

[u/Loyalist77]

No Tuscan Raider jokes? They're Matilda's main force. 0/10

[u/CyberianK]

The making money stuff isn't as bad (although unrealistic) as it at least costs piety etc but multiples Archer tents adding up really needs to be fixed :)

[u/SeverusVape0]

Waltard lookin like a supermodel goddamn