COME GET BUCKET (r/Tumblr)

all i want for christmas is dark gray eyeshadow fingerless gloves and a fluffy oversized gray sweater [Laughter] why'd you have to do them dirty like that [Applause] welcome back your lovely degenerates and before we tumble down into this rabbit hole let's uh get these pesky things out of the way you guys guys see what i did there with the yeah you saw what i did there noise is me trying to comprehend anything anyone says to me aperture science official happy new year's eve 2020 we're entering the decade we're halfway to canada [Laughter] oops kfc you know kfc doesn't have to try anymore they just like come get your [ __ ] bucket of fat yeah pieces parson gaze is lovingly a family walking tall oh this is gonna make me cry in the walmart [Laughter] you looks so sad apparently i think about my optometrist who was treating my eye infection and said if it hurts you can rinse your eye out with boiled water hey hey look at me look look at me i want you to understand that i mean water that has been boiled and has since cooled down not boiling water do you understand like i mean i'm so grateful for this man ensuring that i wouldn't destroy my eyes by pouring boiling water in it because like you know it is an adequate assessment of my intelligence the good news we finally have solid confirmation on how gif is pronounced the the bad news the old english word gif is a no yes yes this is uh this is the language equivalent of king solomon suggesting cutting the baby [Laughter] no one wins no one boy did you get what you wanted sure by the way it's g because the g stands for graphics i don't care what the creator says he's just a peanut butter fanboy fight me in the comments why do people get so weird around wheelchair users i'm just i'm literally just a person sitting down yeah but but you're sitting down and moving at the same time like some kind of witch welcome to adhd emotions get ready to experience under stimulation over stimulation the anger spiral wednesday forever oh god they hate me this whole grocery store hates me and lust okay so are there people with adhd to stop being so relatable or i need to go to the doctor all right just uh just get ready for this fair put a song for 9 11 she wondered yeah apparently holds a great deal of significance for him phineas nodded i think he was actually in one of the god damn it i think he was actually in one of the towers at the time candace's jaw dropped a shock expression coming over her face she was in one of the towers and he survived she dies phineas nodded that is [ __ ] terrible this remains a fanfiction masterpiece and what not to ride what a nice sheep i think as i gaze out of the field the sheep facing away starts to raise its head i stare at mounting horror as the head keeps rising rising neck elongating and some cursed spectacle that roots me to the spot in fear until i realize uh oh oh it it's an outback [Laughter] i thought this was gonna be like a a horror short fiction but but no it's just rural between rule and eldritch is far thinner than anyone wishes to guess i was thinking it was like the dog from undertale with his neck just like you know goes in spagooter okay idea message me what country you're from and your three favorite things about living there well i'm from the north pole and the best thing about living here is santa's huge [ __ ] [Music] why why'd i even bother it's getting windy ever since i first saw this post it's been wimpy it's easily one of the top 10 most commonly used phrases in my household my job is done i uh this possum was living in my children's bedroom for three days before [Laughter] it's your pet now sorry these are the rules all right but but i am losing my mind imagine being a child with no agency and there's a wild animal in your bedroom and you try to tell the two people in your world who are supposed to have a gate for you and they're like your lies you have to live with an opossum on a side note i just love how that possum is just hiding behind this and looking so goddamn smug behind the tupperware alan mueller four stars nice sterile atmosphere hypnotically caucasian the chocolate milk is strikingly overpriced and at the same time very easy to steal another of god's little tests [Music] hey hey is this a whole foods review all right so i used to work at a haunted house and i pitched a room that was a long black hallway leading to a door that said employees only and if you were brave enough to open that there was a sweaty guy in half a gorilla suit eating a sub saying hey you guys can't be back here terrifying why did i picture this with the gorilla pants off not the girl my skin shirt because it's much more unsettling matt's story changed the name of the group princess diana keeping her memory alive to vomit and sh fetish [Laughter] [Music] the extremely rare sixth stage of grief okay taco bell you finally won me over taco bell dry the taco and all this time i i hear i've been trying to eat the bell like a dumbass sure i don't get a healthy amount of sleep like some people do but can't they do this stands up and blacks out for a second this uh this should not make me laugh as much as it does where's my fellow iron deficient people at yay so today i learned that a captive beluga whale learned how to speak rudimentary english after seven years in captivity it was only known after a diver visiting his tank at night heard voices telling him to get out when no one else was in sight it was actually the beluga whale okay so like le mao i would [ __ ] myself on sight you big white bastard don't speak up at me imagine a species learning to speak just so it could tell you to [ __ ] off so i tried among us today red is sauce what what how is red sauce this is mccarthyism okay wait wait wait whole hang on i gotta google something real quick okay this is funny here's the here's the definition just just for those of you who are curious here's a spell to repel unsolicited opinions repeat the phrase did i ask you until the subject realized that you in fact did not ask them uh for context this is about among us i love that the death animations seem random each time like sometimes the imposter's chest just opens up and eats you and sometimes they just like snap your neck sometimes deny for a gun like imagine if the xenomorph an alien was sneaking around and eating people but he also had a glock like that would be sick as [ __ ] i think you know it's also interesting because it implies some imposters are like monster creatures and some are just nasty people you arrive to your sabotage job with your glock in hand and your co-workers like yeah i can't wait to eat these guys and you just have to be like damn for real uh oh mia me too man now i love this proposal because it implies they're hired hitmen but like each from completely different species or like have different motives and then we just ah what the [ __ ] basically ben shapiro verified you're stupid and poor but i can wear lips ben short piro you're short at ben shapiro and for those of you wondering ben sharpiro is a bot reminding at ben shapiro that he is short every 30 minutes ben shapiro is seriously like out here saying you're stupid and poor but i can wear lifts to a bot maid to call him short is so [ __ ] funny if i have a medical emergency don't you dare call an ambulance y'all better uber my ass to the hospital because we not about to pay 5000 for riding the wee woo wagon everyone outside the usa laughing nervously what the [ __ ] rating the red circle emojis apple six to ten i mean like it's fine i guess it gets the job done it's a bit shiny which i don't really get but overall it's nice actually kind of pleasing the longer i look at it google five out of ten very flat but there is a tiny bit of shading which i hate choose one but it still works and gets the point across i mean it's fine microsoft seven out of 10. now normally i hate microsoft's giant black borders but it really works for this one i think it's simple it's cute i like it good job microsoft samsung three out of ten why the [ __ ] is it so shiny that is not a red circle that is a smear what the [ __ ] am i supposed to do with a spear [ __ ] this twitter nine out of ten hell yeah simple zed it's it's kind of dark compared to the rest which i'm deducting points for but overall hell yeah emoji decks negative 11 000 out of 10. what the [ __ ] is this do i even need words [ __ ] you this isn't even a circle it's 3d that's a button like it's also the [ __ ] shiniest goddamn button i've ever seen [ __ ] you [ __ ] this [Laughter] mozilla 10 out of 10. oh my god thank you [ __ ] thank you so much that's a [ __ ] red circle that's what the [ __ ] i'm talking about baby you know sometimes i walk past the graveyard and think you know i could dress up like a ghost and haunt the sh out of that cemetery for like weeks before anyone noticed didn't stop me and then i realized that i was headed down a road that leads to scooby doo villainy there is no reason you can't eat pie at every meal they make fruit pies vegetable pies meat pies meat substitute pies i mean pies easily cover 100 of your necessary nutrient groups they even make cake pies the only reason not to switch over to pie entirely is because pike sucks you you are so close you are so close to a revolutionary thesis and then you betrayed me and every citizen of good standing you [ __ ] okay so y'all ever like you know notice that you know fred's the same color of his jeans is there so like he might actually be wearing a romper delete this okay but like i mean cartoon design is based off of 70s 80s fashion so it's not wrong it's actually rather likely i mean look they're all wearing stuff like this so it's it's a possibility but i would like to add dicky collars for consideration i can picture him having an entire drawer devoted to an assortment of these right next to his drawer full of ascots let me present this image from legend of the vampire look look he's wearing a white t-shirt underneath you can see that it's different color the top he's wearing a dickie but but but what is the [ __ ] truth i like to think he has multiple outfits that all look identical while having completely different construction dudes who order boneless wings close the fridge with their hips [Music] oh yeah in one of it my hands are full and my ass is bad you [ __ ] wish you were me bro okay i hate being an academic like they're making me right i thought i was just supposed to like you know just sit in an old chair and smoke and say something french every now and then uh okay um am i having a stroke why are your eyes so long i'm uh oh my g i didn't even notice god that is bugging me so much right now like i didn't notice it first while i was reading it but like how and why oh you're a stoner name every stone then a high geologist are you challenging me okay so i am so [ __ ] high right now and i i thought he was a centaur i mean if you squint you can kind of see what he's talking about all right ah so for a second i didn't realize it meant high as in stoner i i thought i thought i geologists was like a rank of geologist or something it was insulted you a challenge after naming stones inflation is honestly the strangest like like someone right now is thinking of getting blown up like a balloon and they've got a booker i i thought this was about economics at first that second sentence [Laughter] [Music] you poor soul [Laughter] i hate the trope of i refuse to hit women get stacked because it's boring but i do like the trip of someone in an rpg going hey i don't want to hit a kid that's kind of [ __ ] up and the kid just obliterates them like you know i refuse to hit a woman it's sexist overdone there's nothing to actually empower the woman or make the guys seem nice but nope i refuse to hit a kid it's valid even funnier when the kid whips absolute ass in one go the boulder feels conflicted about fighting a young blind girl just stop laughing the boulder is over his conflicted feelings avatar doing it right yet again so i love how this doesn't even have top's response so it just kind of looks like he saw top it was like you know what this kid deserves it which which honestly is a little valid because top just kind of radiates chaos etiquette for a gentleman the 203 rule of a gentleman chasing a girl worth chasing is more important than any rules that might tell you to stop [Laughter] i just drop a restraining order anyone who ironically follows this just this is for you heartbreaking local cat has never been fed an entire life says local cat sources close to cat claim cat may have actually been fed between four to six hours ago these claims are still under investigation breaking news cat was fed 20 minutes ago by the last person to walk into the kitchen cat claims fake muse we now have exclusive footage shot by our news at nine shopper that confirms there's literally still food in the cat's bowl right now me and you know i just never been able to make my me look like me i don't know what i'm doing wrong i go through every eye option and they just never look right it makes me wonder if i even know what i look like if i know myself at all wendy's cashier i know i feel the same way i am terrified with the magnitude of ourselves of what we are capable of doing of what we are at our core i fear that and by the time my life passes me by i will still not understand who i was what then i suppose we hang on to the idea of an afterlife and maybe there and in god's grace would be given the answers that we desperately search for anyways no no you can't have six patties in one burger [Laughter] i want the squares give the squares hey you made it to the outro woo she should like subscribe and like like the video and stuff also check out the new fan art carousel yay anyways thank you all for like everyone who's like submitted fan art on my twitter my reddit you know discord all that stuff i really appreciate that i love all of it anyways you know thank you all for watching and uh yeah i'll see y'all next time

Channel: Oz Media

Views: 677,433

Rating: 4.9669037 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, satire, comedy, funny, tumblr, r/tumblr, tumblr posts, funny tumblr, oz tumblr, tumblr oz, r/wholesomememes, wholesome memes, r/meirl, r/me_irl, me irl, me_irl, meirl, cursed comments, r/cursedcomments, wholesome, BUCKET, animal reviews, strange, memes, best of tumblr, tumblr memes, meme, lol, social media, reddit stories, best memes, twitter, discord, facebook, dank memes, reddit memes, fail

Id: 8q6nwMe8prE

Length: 20min 28sec (1228 seconds)

Published: Sun Nov 01 2020