r/BrandNewSentence | Banana Bones

our office just banned overly specific nicknames and the whole office is staring at rat snitch brain the goodtime ruiner hour slash brand-new sentence the title says it all oh and disclaimer by hot girls summer hello deranged possum fall the root of all stomach problems avoid these three foods it will be a cold day in hell before I give up eating bananas skeletons that's pretty goddamn cursed footage of an Australian guy fishing from a drought is being investigated by a body it's not clear whether using a homemade drone to lift yourself into the air is legal in Australia that must be one powerful drone isn't everything just speculation do we know what's real and not I think I'm going to wake up tomorrow not dead but that's just speculation and for all I know I'll wake up tomorrow and realize the entire world is a simulation including our slash super powers you can open your mouth 90 degrees and every time you do it it makes two minecraft chests noise does my mouth become in essence a Minecraft chest or is it still a stupid body blender what I mean it works that's one way to put it man breaks into house while homeowner taking shower close by shower gun comes in handy shower gun guy today's the day honestly a dude who has a shower gun probably has things like a fridge gun an oven gun a couch gun bedroom gun it's a man you should fear police found the Gator protecting crack cocaine heroin fentanyl at more than 5,000 in cash and much more drug dealers used an alligator named el chapo for da watan Drina video their six-year-old adoptive daughter was actually a 22 year old sociopath dwarf what though am i high or our Amy Schumer and Angelina Jolie and watching these two dudes sue each other over yu-gi-oh cards cookies lead to high sugar intake high sugar intake leads to weight gain weight gain leads to regret regret leads to sadness sadness leads to anger anger leads to hate and hate leads to the dark side miss quoted me you did it's actually hate leads to suffering but you know those keeping track my two favorite hobbies are smoking weed and rescuing dogs bro that's not a dog you found like a micro moose or something [Music] Micro moose Gabby bars are strictly known as micro moose now I know in dying Kitty big me smoking a dog treat like a cigarette you know and the steam of things houses are just like Tupperware and we are god's leftovers my therapist visibly shaking how did you get in my bathtub am I having a stroke or did Shrek 2 DVD come with a weird bonus that was like American Idol and if you didn't vote for the right act then Simon Cowell would say you were wrong and just crowd himself the winner plate plate no no wait yeah no they did happen hold on okay okay yeah no I had to google it because I I just got a flashback so an animated Simon Cowell and I had to I had to make sure and yes it is real you all make fun of horse girls and sword guys like they couldn't just get married and give birth to a generation of fully armed gallery film critic after watching a movie that features some neon lighting this movie is absolutely nuts like an acid trips Leatherman meth a delirious dive off the edge a kaleidoscopic extravaganza that must be experienced to be believed a phantasmagoric descent into the void I can't explain this but Hotel air-conditioners feel how McDonald's sprite tastes I okay I took a picture I took a picture of a geyser about two guys in Iceland that's really cool that's like you you can see the surface tension like just about to break that's really awesome oh look it's the video about religion and Happy Feet the movie it's also a direct parallel to the story of Jesus Christ fighting against the ruling Jewish ideologues except a VP doesn't get crucified that would be quite the dark turn in the movie my god there are 20 billion hot dogs made each year they are each six inches long that's ten billion feet of hot dogs the moon is only 1 billion feet away from Earth so that means hot dog moon bridge Rhoda carriage museum home of the world's largest sex bike what what is a sex bike what's one lesson that you've learned from your experiences with LSD elephants are master telepaths that can annihilate you with empathy missiles if you look them in the eye Shrek wondered if sneezing like crazy would help cure his hiccups submit answer what is this an answer to you are despicable you publicly posted a photo of your son sobbing because he's been removed from his friends and teachers that he cares for and who care for him just to justify your own agenda and pathetic desire for likes and validation I don't know if you're uninformed ignorant or just a narcissist my vote is on all three you're severely doing wrong by your son and other children he comes into contact with by dismissing medical science and being an anti backs ankle and by ankle I mean three feet lower than a your son deserves better you give the title of mother a bad name Jesus Christ that wasn't just a murder by words that was that was a fing glory kill are slash hands grated for 24 hours you literally shove gold white food restaurants do you eat to maximize your 24-hour earning potential Dairy Foods milk ice cream cheese I'm lactose intolerant I'll be producing a steady flow of 24-karat as lava okay okay why name hurricane soft names like Hosea named a hurricane death Megatron 300 and I guaranteed everyone will evacuate immediately woman bites camels testicles to free herself at truck stop petting zoo authorities in Louisiana said camel at a truck stop petting zoo sat on a woman after she crawled into its enclosure you uh you could say that headline was a mouthful woman says she was stopped by a squirrel who tugged in her leg and led her to help its injured baby oh it's really sweet hey hey many eyes come here look read this but now I need to prepare the mole people are coming oz you're still you're still convinced but the whole mole people thing huh yes I'm not crazy I saw one outside my window last night all right no okay whatever you're missing out [Music] hello I am from the underworld and I am here to eat paste oh god of it's too late I'm just gonna leave this here you can vaccinate your kids and then hold a raw potato to the wound where the needle entered and it will suck the toxins from the vaccines out leaving only the non-toxic parts it's a great way to stay healthy and Fort Big Pharma you know what I will accept potato placebo if it means anti-vaxxers start vaccinating their kids do just cruise pass me writing a lawn chair taped to an electric skateboard while vaping and blasting Jack Johnson now I'm questioning all my life choices our slash asked teen boys what do you know about periods what happens why it happens etc I just want to know how much guys know about periods even if they think it's gross from what others have told them the uterus prepares comfy pillows for a baby all month then gets furious and destroys all of its cool furniture because it gets stood up this is one to the 100 millionth of a second after the first photo see those little horns coming out of the bottom that's lightning bolting down the tension wires of the new engulfed our created by the force of karate-chopped atoms what oh it's an atomic blast okay okay yeah that that makes more sense I guess so I was taking the leisurely poop it worked as is my custom when some guy comes in is quiet for a minute or two and instantly starts having the loudest I've ever heard I was so startled I almost dropped my phone continued like I let my guard down for only a little bit then I was taken by surprise it sound like his ass was shouting booms from Skyrim and we should I could rush it out like that and then he started making sex noises about doing it like heavy breathing and moaning it sounded super sweaty emotionally draining I I would do after like that it was alarming I wouldn't have been surprised [Music] I wouldn't have been surprised if boss music started playing could that turn off early like like what would you do if the boss music from Majora's Mask started playing right as you began the old brown town hoedown very cool I don't mean to brag but I can make a worm that's almost not weirdly shaped I'm impressed by your clay skills dragons are basically worms with limbs so you're like halfway there hey if you enjoyed this video then like and subscribe and all that stuff yeah I got a gaming channel and a Twitter go go check those out I do stuff there sometimes yeah this is pretty much just 20 seconds I dedicate so that way you don't have n strains of your content anyways see y'all next time

Channel: Oz Media

Views: 799,940

Rating: 4.954658 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, reddit cringe, satire, comedy, funny, r/brandnewsentence, brand new sentence, cringe, memes

Id: 4vkaSHf6yUg

Length: 11min 50sec (710 seconds)

Published: Sun Sep 29 2019