- [Griffin] Fallout 76, finally we can explore the wonders and riches and cultural, all the
cultural of Appalachia and its ilk, if the game would load. What do you think game,
gonna give me that game? (upbeat electronic music) Brother!
- Brother! The homeland calls--
- Let's just fuckin' do it. - [Justin] The homeland calls us. - [Griffin] Let's just rip it on off brother 'cause the homeland wants us back. Todd is suckin' us back
down his game hole. - [Justin] Todd. You've summoned us, Todd, and up we jumped. - [Griffin] Only this time, he's got our homeland inside him. - [Justin] He did it dirty. (laughter) - [Griffin] He did a
dirty one to our homeland. I'm going to skip this
because I don't need to watch the movie Todd, I lived it! I hope they let us make a real nasty man. - [Justin] I hope we
get to go to our house. (laughter) - [Griffin] I want to go to my house because I left my wallet there. Let's see, we've got some
buttons down on the screen. Sex! Yes!
- Yes, please! - There's a Y next to it.
- Damn it, Justin! - [Justin] There's a Y next to it. - [Griffin] Why? P A R T Y? Sex? Yes, please! Austin Powers. Yes. - [Justin] Yes, sex. Yes, please. - [Griffin] I would like
sex and body, thank you. I feel like we've made exclusively
pretty thick lads lately. Pretty muscular-- - [Justin] Yeah, units. - [Griffin] Just sort of, units, yes. So maybe we change it up. What if we go just a perfect
center of the triforce? - [Justin] Yeah, nothin'
funny about it at all. That's perfect. - [Griffin] What is the space between-- - [Justin] Middle of the
triangle is the worst, like that's the most
middle slider you could be. - [Griffin] Yeah, that's a good point. What is the space between thin and large? But not muscular. - [Justin] Ironically the
space between is Dave Matthews. - [Griffin] I want to start
with a neutral human face. Look at the fuckin' polygons
and vertices in his head. Are you seeing this shit? - I'm lovin' this.
- Do you see this shit? - What is that?
- Are you seeing this shit? - [Justin] How'd you do that? - [Griffin] I didn't do fuckin' anything, my dude looks like a Star
Trek though, for sure. - [Justin] You haven't
even like, begun to-- - [Griffin] I can't even touch it, Todd. Is this what you think of
West Virginny-i-in-ins? Off-center eyebrows. Thank you, Todd, that's a kind gift. Didn't know it was my
birthday, but thank you. - [Justin] I mean, it's a start. - [Griffin] It's a start. I mean, we're working with
little, just little stuff, little stuff. But that can, we can get in
the uncanny valley, though. Can we just close the eyes completely and let the man take a nap and
not go out into Fallout 76? (laughter) If we can close the man's eyes entirely, then he doesn't have
to go out into Fallout. (munching) (laughter) Y'all take your time. I just found this roach
stew I'm gonna eat, 'cause it's Fallout and we're nasty here. (laughter) (munching) - [Justin] It's been our
thing the whole time. - [Griffin] I'm gonna drink
some, I'm gonna eat some piss soup because we're
all nasty in Fallout. (laughter) (munching) - [Justin] Got any bottle caps? - [Griffin] Got any bottle caps? It's our money because
we turned into children when the bomb fell. (munching) I gotta eat this dookie bread, hold on. Oh, he smiled. Did you see that? He smiled when I moved his ear down. He liked that. - [Justin] Oh, I like that. That's my spot. - [Griffin] Kinda playful. - [Justin] Found that spot. - [Griffin] We barely
know this polygonal man-- - [Justin] He's taken quite a shine to us. - [Griffin] I found his g-spot. (laughter) What haven't we disgraced? The chin. (laughter) I love him! Yeah, hold on, I'm feelin' this. I can make his eyebrows really small. You can do virtually
nothing with the eyebrows. Oh, shit. Okay, sorry, no, yeah,
Todd, you can do, sorry man. I didn't mean to piss you off. Thanks. Can we change the type of his head? Yes. - [Justin] Good. - Good.
- We have several different kinds of head. You cannot get rid of our weird, reptile-- - [Griffin] The polygons will be there. - [Justin] Yeah, the turtle
pattern is part of it. Everybody's a little
bit turtle in Fallout. - [Griffin] Eyebrows. Oh shit. Oh, man. (exclaiming) Yowzers. - Unatmed!
- Yowzers. - [Justin] Why would you? - [Griffin] Why would you? It's the apocalypse baby. - [Justin] It's the 'pocalypse! - [Griffin] Yeah, baby,
it's the 'pocalypse. Have this piss soda. Look at these. - [Justin] Whoa. Look at that little arch he's giving you. - [Griffin] Yeah. Actually I don't think that's intentional. Nose. - [Justin] Just a bevy of options. - [Griffin] A bevy of schnorbs. - [Justin] Have you found,
have you ever tried to do character customization
make it look like you and then you get to the
nose and you're like, what the fuck, how the fuck do I know? - [Griffin] Yeah, do I even have one? - [Justin] I could be looking
at my nose, like in a mirror, and have like, what, I don't
even know, what's it for? - [Griffin] Oh, I can rotate it. I didn't even notice that option. Oh my, holy shit! Shit, dog. Uh, yeah, he's there. Oh, shit! We get facial hair too. (laughter) - [Justin] They're all good. - [Griffin] Right? Thanks. This is where Todd gets us. (laughter) Look at that shit! (laughter) He looks like he sneezed
and some of his mustache went over his eyes. Just a little, just a little teen. Just a little teen, just pervoid. Just a little skeezoid. - [Justin] The Hollywood classic. - [Griffin] The Hollywood
classic, gotta love it. You like that? - [Justin] The beast! - [Griffin] Alright. The beast will at least be easier to... Why can I not color the fucking? I guess that's just it. I guess that's just his facial hair color. Damn. Chins are bad. The chin's a bad, when you look at 'em, when you look at a line up of chins... - [Justin] Yeah. - [Griffin] I think all
chins are pretty bad. - [Justin] If you didn't need them to hold the rest of your face up, I'd say, no thank you. - [Griffin] Just your old, average chin. (laughter) - [Justin] On average,
most chins are like this. - [Griffin] What did I just
turn the percentage down on? - [Justin] I'm not
seeing it if that helps. Oh, yes I am. The fuck are you doing? - [Griffin] What am I doing? - [Justin] I mean, what are you in? You're in eyes? - [Griffin] I'm in eyes! - [Justin] Pupil maybe? Percentage that, oh maybe this
is how good his vision is. So right now it's like 100%
good vision of a perfect teen. And now it's like-- - [Griffin] C'mon! Ah, damn it! I got it in the, no! Yeah! Is that number ever going
to stop being hysterical? - [Justin] Not unless people
stop doing the sex about it. - [Griffin] Are people still
sixty-nineing out there? - [Justin] Not legally. Maybe out in the wasteland,
that's the only kind of love that you can get. - [Griffin] We eat roach burgers and 69! - [Justin] Yeah, we all
have blonde moustaches which makes it a real ticklish experience. Not a lot of babies out here. - [Griffin] Okay. - [Justin] We lost all
our books and we think you get babies from sixty-nineing. (laughter) Anyway, do you have any books? (laughter) - [Griffin] We keep eating,
we keep chomping down dirt burgers and getting
so horny that we 69, but no babies yet. We'll get there, though. - [Justin] We'll buy it
from you, here's a warning, we don't deal with those
fuckin' bottle caps. It's ridiculous, we're all
grown adults that love to 69. - [Griffin] Holy shit. - [Justin] I wish this
series, in retrospect, it's had a lot of fame and
acclaim, and great stuff. I wish we had just tried to
recreate Sonic in every game. - [Griffin] In every one? - [Justin] I just wish
we'd tried to see how many, the best Sonic you could
do in a given game. 'Cause it's all I ever want to do. - [Griffin] This one's
called math teacher, which seems pretty fuckin' mean, Todd. - [Justin] I bet he called
everybody over in the office to watch him type that in. - [Griffin] I got a great joke. - [Justin] Hey guys, watch this shit. Hey everybody! - [Griffin] He just looked
at me in a way that I, ooh I don't like that at all!
- Oh my god! - [Justin] He knows! - [Griffin] He knows that
we've done something to him. - [Justin] His secret's out. Oh my god! - [Griffin] He looks kinda sad. (laughter) - [Justin] This isn't proper English, but he looks sad at you. (laughter) He's sad at your direction. - [Griffin] Well, Slime
Burger which one do you like? (laughter) These look the most defeated. So let's go with that.
- Yeah. - [Griffin] Uh, sex? Uh, yes please. Austin Powers. (laughter) - [Justin] I'm never gonna get AP4 am I? - [Griffin] Are you
asking the right people? Have you got your vision board going? - [Justin] I'm asking you. I'm asking Slime Burger. (laughter) One Austin Powers 4
coming up, extra sloppy. - [Griffin] I think it's fucked up-- - [Justin] Yeah, he is. - That they only let you do one makeup. (laughter) Oh wait, no. Nevermind, nevermind, nevermind. I was incorrect. I did a bad. Hey listen, credit where
credit is due, Todd. You've done me good on this one. What's up? I'm Slime Burger this
is my makeup tutorial. Coming at you live from
blowed up West Virginia. (laughter) If he's gonna, hold up. May I pitch? - [Justin] Yeah. - [Griffin] If Slime
Burger's gonna be out here in the wasteland doing fucking tight ass YouTube makeup tutorials, he should be very good at it. That is not purple but
a little bit of dark. That's good. That highlights what he's
already got going on. Lip gloss is indeed popping. Ooh, there's a grime. We shouldn't look ahead, I
saw a vision of the future, and the future has grime in it. Okay, now this slider is
for how much lip gloss he's putting on. 100% is obviously, a
lunatic would put on 100%. Eye liner waterline. I, Griffin, don't know what that is. - [Justin] Yeah, we'll
just have to take your word for it, game. - [Griffin] Some of
these, I mean we could get pretty fuckin' Warped Tour
on it if we wanted to. I think he's reserved. I think he's more... - [Justin] Yeah, I love that classic look. - [Griffin] A little cat eye. Just a little kitty cat
eye on Slime Burger. I like this. Look at this. - This is very good.
- He looks so Felix fuckin' fresh. He looks so good. Now his markings though, this
is where we're gonna get him. What if he just has one big beauty mark? - [Justin] That's so sexy. - [Griffin] But then he also
has a thousand beauty marks. Each one more-- - [Justin] No. - [Griffin] No? - [Justin] That was too many. Just one. Restraint! - [Griffin] I kinda like, though, having upper freckles though. - [Justin] It's very good. I do like the upper freckles
now that I see them. - [Griffin] Yeah. - [Justin] Looks very Slime Burger. There's no way that Slime
Burger would allow blemishes to, you know what I mean?
- It's possible. - [Justin] I feel like,
if you call it a blemish you're not owning it. And I feel like Slime
Burger owns everything on his beautiful face. - [Griffin] Yeah. - [Justin] So I don't, I
just don't, I don't agree with having blemishes. Doesn't work for me. Doesn't make sense. - [Griffin] You're right, you're right. But I'm just gonna see what it looks like if we turn 'em all on. 'Cause that's a time
honored Fallout tradition. - [Justin] The problem is we've
turned on all the blemishes before and we've destroyed the Earth. So I'm a little scared of that. - [Griffin] Scared of
how good it's gonna be? - [Justin] Wrecking reality again. This is really bad. - [Griffin] Yeah, it's a little too much. I went from trying to
find something funny to do with the Fallout 76 character creator to falling deeply in
love with Slime Burger, the makeup tutorial artist. And now I'm just sort
of following the fiction more than I am following the goof. - [Justin] He's like the last person around that watched makeup
tutorials on YouTube, and so he just like walks the
land sharing the good word of the smokey eye and the
cut crease and everything. Oh, man! Oh, that's cool! - [Griffin] Well it gets
him right across the mole and that hurt. He would be so pissed off. Hey, Mr. Meanie, you cut
me right across my mole! He had one sort of cool Joker. Look at that. Why so serious? Hey everybody, what if
we turn that one on, but we make it really, really subtle. It's 1% Joker. - Yes, grime!
- Now we get the grime! - [Griffin] The grime, though. - [Justin] Big, dirty, stinkin' bass! (laughter) Do it again. - [Griffin] I want to say, mud and blood. What I love about this is it's
not just about aesthetics. What's this guy got on him? - [Justin] Why would that-- - [Griffin] Does he have radiation burns? - [Justin] He can't have grime and makeup. That would be like, step
one of the tutorial, remove grime. You know, they never do that in those YouTube tutorial videos, I bet. Hey guys, thanks so much, don't forget to like and subscribe. The first thing you want to do is wipe all the fucking grime and
garbage off your face. - [Griffin] Let's negotiate. - [Justin] Yes, with the universe. - [Griffin] We'll do the
briefcase game that Howie does that I can't remember the name of. Shit! What's the briefcase game called? Anyway, I'll say a number.
- Howie's briefcase game. - [Griffin] Let's do
Howie's briefcase game. I wanna set it to, let
me see what looks good. I wanna set it at 60. I wanna set it at 60, how
does that sound to you? - [Justin] I think 20% grime, I could do. - [Griffin] 20% you can't
even fuckin' see it anymore. How 'bout 37? Look at that. Touches of it, kisses of it. You still get the polygon scalp. It's all good up there. - [Justin] Okay. I can handle this. - [Griffin] Alright. I don't have a lot of lips to work with, but I damn know what to do with them. But in terms of making up and sitty-nine, which is what we call it in the wasteland. (laughter) Not our wildest creation, but I love him more than the average one. - [Justin] He's got such a strong story. - [Griffin] Is it two words? Is Burger? - [Justin] I feel like
Burger's his last name. - [Griffin] Let's see if Todd
will even let us do this. 'Cause this is pretty bold. Wow, they didn't even have to. This is gonna be good. (laughter) This is gonna be great. Every game should have this. Are you fucking kidding me? (laughter) What makes a leader? (laughter) - [Justin] He's not there anymore
he's out in the wasteland. - [Griffin] The game crashed, Todd! God! Todd! Damn it! Are you fucking kidding me, Todd? Are you fucking kidding me, Todd? - [Justin] There's no way, Todd. - [Griffin] I can't fucking believe it. I cannot.
- It's unbelievable. - [Griffin] We're Charlie
fucking Brown and he's Lucy. He keeps yanking that fucking fun football out from under us. You fucking animal, Todd. - [Justin] It's just that,
when we were at Polygon, that was just a fucking job. We were just Joe Sixpack,
punching the clock. - [Griffin] Right. - [Justin] I didn't care if
Todd wasted my time back then. Now we're entrepreneurs, right? We got our own website now. Like, I can't do this with you, Todd. - [Griffin] Todd, I've got a
fucking two year old, Todd. I can't keep fucking doing this with you. I gotta tell him Daddy
missed his piano recital because Todd broke my shit. - [Justin] Is it all gone? - [Griffin] It's gone, dog. It's gone. - [Justin] He's gone, right? It's gone. It's gone, for sure gone? - [Griffin] That Slime Burger's in hell. And this is the fucking dilemma, do we try to make another Slime Burger and then settle with the
fact that it's not as good? - [Justin] I'm not
doing that fucking dance with Todd again. I want to dash out a poor
copy of Slime Burger, called Slime Burger Two that's
not nearly as good or cool or funny or anything and
submit all complaints to Todd. (laughter) - [Griffin] Yeah, this is
the worst Monster Factory episode ever. Well you know who to fucking blame. Get outta here, Debbie! - [Justin] So, Slime
Burger had a rich story. He lived a rich story life, and he was wandering the wastelands teaching people how to do makeup. And he was great and perfect
and everybody loved him. He was so funny, he was a fan favorite. And then Todd killed him. So now, what we can do,
now what we're doing is we're making the movie
adaptation of Slime Burger's life. Slime Burger, the movie. And it's just going to be,
it's not going to be nearly as cool or special or anything. So just like, find like
some ragged approximation of what Slime Burger was. 'Cause Todd killed the real one. - [Griffin] But it's like,
it's played by like-- - [Justin] Yes, exactly. - [Griffin] Ryan Philippe
or something like that. - [Justin] He's gonna get an Oscar. - [Griffin] He's gonna
get an Oscar nom for it. I'm gonna fuck him a little bit. I'm just gonna fuck him up just touch. (laughter) That's good. See, I like that. We didn't get that in Slime Burger 1.0. That was in beta. Thank you for enjoying the
early access Slime Burger. Hey, you liked 'em up. But I like 'em down. I don't care what this
fuckin' Slime Burger likes. I've no patience for your quibbles. Get your eyes small or hit the road, Jack. (groans) - [Justin] They would get
the hairstyle right, I guess. It's an easy thing to do. - [Griffin] This just kind
of looks like fuckin' like-- - [Justin] Anybody. - [Griffin] It looks like
fuckin' wasteland Sam Elliott. I despise him. He doesn't have that sort of desperation. He doesn't have that kind
of sadness about him. - [Justin] No, none of it's
good or fun or cool or anything. It sucks. - [Griffin] This guy sucks shit. (laughter) - [Justin] Well, we gotta
make a video about him. Just give him one makeup. Just one makeup. - [Griffin] But make his
makeup fucking busted. - [Justin] Yes, busted, not cool and sexy, like Slime Burger's was. - [Griffin] This dude doesn't
even know how to fuckin' 69. (laughter) We put our butts in each other? - [Justin] Whatever. - [Griffin] Alright. - [Justin] Hey, good, perfect. (laughter) - [Griffin] Oh, his body. - [Justin] Muscular. Very muscular and perfect.
- Yeah, this dude's... This one's fucking set up. - [Justin] Yes. - [Griffin] Do we want
the word or the numeral? - [Justin] Oh, oh, oh, no! Griffin, I got it! - [Griffin] Oh, okay. - [Justin] Slime Burger in quotes. (laughter) If you're one of the people, if you ever make a virtual representation of all of our creations, I
wanna see both Slime Burger and Freddy Prinze Jr. in there. Two discreet people. (laughter) No way! Todd won't even let you have that! He won't even let you have that! Everybody knows what you mean. They'll get it's a
Freddie Prince Jr. thing. - [Griffin] I don't even wanna touch this. As funny as this menu
seems like it would be. - [Justin] It's not, it's a
trick to kill good things. - [Griffin] I can try and change his pose. Should we roll the hard six
on that one, do you think? - [Justin] I can't do this again, Griffin. You just can't help yourself. (laughter) You're gonna fuckin' ruin it, Griffin! No, no, quit there! (laughter) - [Griffin] He's gonna fuckin' kill us! - [Justin] This teaser poster. This fall! He's back. Griffin just take the
fuckin' thing, please! I'm having a panic attack over here. Just do it! Good. Take the picture. - [Griffin] Yeah, we don't want any of what you have to offer. - [Justin] I shan't do
this with you again. - [Griffin] Yeah, look at him. Just like the boy. (laughter) I don't wanna, I'm not gonna
give the game the pleasure of reading a single fucking word. And of course, the movie starts, opening, sensitive Slime Burger picks
up his guitar and plays it. - [Justin] He never touched a guitar in his entire fuckin' life
but they thought it would help round him out, make him
seem a little bit more dynamic. - [Griffin] God, he sucks. He's like, should I do makeup tutorial? Nah. (laughter) The people at the studio
said that shit was boring. Instead I just wanna
play my guitar and 45? Which one was it? - [Justin] What was the sex number? - [Griffin] He activates the
sink and washes all the grime off his face. - [Justin] Hey, wait, look again. Good water, Todd. - [Griffin] Oh, the water's naked. We can't look at it,
they gotta pixelate it. - [Justin] You ever think about how fuckin' heavy a Pip-Boy would be and then you get a little claustrophobic? It'd be the only bad thing
about being in Fallout world. - [Griffin] Yeah, I imagine it's like the blood pressure test at the Walgreens, but you carry it with you. Oh, didn't quite get out the door there. Let's try that again. - [Justin] Sorry. - [Griffin] I got
distracted by my GameBoy. Alright, so we've got our first enemy. First off, this dude's body is crazy. (laughter) We got our first enemy
there, his name's Crutchley. What if Freddie Prince Jr.'s
Slime Burger Two is like a hyper-violent thriller movie? This robot's like, are
you about to fuckin' snap all my parts off? No. - [Justin] Okay, man. We're never gonna make
it to the open world if you don't grind through
this boring, pointless part of this game. - [Griffin] Well this is the tutorial. This is where I learn how to go up stairs and how to not punch robots. - [Justin] Here's all the
things they ruined in this one. - [Griffin] I'm just gonna
eat everything I pick up. That's the rule for Slime Burger Two, everything he finds he's
so afraid somebody's gonna kill him and take. (laughter) - [Justin] You're gonna
ruin my Fallout strategy of ending the game with 30 fuckin' Rad-Xs that I never did anything
with 'cause I was too scared. - [Griffin] Why is it? It's dark everywhere. - [Justin] Just get him, oh my god. I hate this guy. (laughter) - [Griffin] I can't wait to
start my Fallout adventure. Yeah! Taking a bit, but that's okay,
West Virginia's a big state. - [Justin] Yep. Lot of culture. - [Griffin] Lot of culture. I'll say this, we got
lots of different birds. - [Justin] Here we go. - [Griffin] Here we go! Made it out, leveled up too. Boy, this is boy's big. And why'd he put my clothes back on? It's time to go E-Sports. (laughter) - [Justin] Parkour! Parkour! - [Griffin] Alright, we
need to find bullet for gun. - [Justin] I wish I had
been there when the robot was like, oh thank you. - [Griffin] Uh, something happened. Somethin' happened. (laughter) I can't move the screen. I can't do anything. - [Justin] Call for help. Certainly someone will help. (laughter) - [Griffin] What? I've been playing for 11 seconds. - [Justin] You're already
de-resing the world. - [Griffin] I think I'm half buried. That or I'm just sitting, yeah. - [Justin] Yeah. Anyway.
- Oh Jesus Christ. - [Justin] Can you imagine
Todd and the E3 demo ends and he's like anyway,
that's our video game. We think it's gonna be really good. (laughter) I'm sorry I spent so much time on character creation in hindsight. - [Griffin] Nintendo said
they'd give me an hour and I used all of it up. - [Justin] And this isn't
coming to Switch either, I don't know why I'm here. - [Griffin] I'm glad Reggie
left, 'cause otherwise he'd be real PO'd at me right now. - [Justin] He's so peeved. Got micro-transactions too, I don't know if that moves
the needle for y'all. - [Griffin] Oh, I don't have any bullets. What's attack? - [Justin] Hit him with the gun! Maybe press R3? - [Griffin] I gotta vats him. - [Justin] No, there's no vats. (laughter) Activate Rad-X. - [Griffin] Hold on, let me use attack. Let me use attack. (exclaiming) Challenge complete. Learn to play game.
CURSE YOU TODD COWARD
The boys fell for an obvious Todd Trap™™™. He's caught on to them and programmed the game to delete their first creation. It's the only explanation.
Wow what a coincidence. I was just re-watching the Final Pam arc last night wondering why they never did a Fallout 76 monster factory.
I really hope they play long enough to travel near the amusement park, they put a little Monster Factory easter egg in a shack nearby- there's a Radroach with a fedora and a wedding ring sitting on the toilet, and Final Pam's outfit/glasses are folded on the bed nearby.