Why We Fall for Players (Watch OUT for These Signs )

do you think I'm buying into your stories the joke's on you see that's what's crazy the joke's on you angel welcome back to my channel hello guys for those of you that are new hi my name is aja very nice to meet you I want to just jump right on into this topic but before then of course you guys know the routine by now to follow me on instagram that'll be right here of course and also do not forget to subscribe to this channel to become a part of the a-team and also do not forget to turn on your post notifications so that you're notified every single time that I post also I just want to say briefly thank you guys so much for all of your encouraging words and everything I couldn't believe that I was creator on the rise it absolutely blew my mind I couldn't even imagine of having an opportunity like that so thank you guys so much for all of your congratulations and all of those things and let's jump right into this video okay so this is a very crucial video why do we fall for players this definitely needs to be discussed well firstly we fall for players because players tend to be what charismatic they could be good-looking or maybe you think they have a lot of money or you genuinely just like their personality whatever other thing is because you don't even have to have all these things per se to even be a player really buy a man's rules but we fall for them I find that players like to create an illusion that you are the only one in their life I mean that's really the purpose right and a lot of the times guys that are not monogamous right they tend to run on the justification of well I never said you were my girlfriend so you can't technically be mad at this and unfortunately that technicality is true but that's why it's so important to understand what place you have in that man's life and that place needs to be girlfriend that is the only way they can be held accountable for their actions of stepping outside of you guys relationship otherwise it doesn't matter how long you've been with the person it does matter where they've taken you you're not their girlfriend so they can technically do whatever you want and you get fooled right because when you're with this person everything feels so good and you guys just like being around each other and it's been X amount of time it doesn't matter it doesn't players like to send mixed signals that's why you're confused I please please take this from me please if you take nothing else from this video if you are confused it's for a reason no man that wants you in their life is going to leave you confused I don't care I don't care I don't care if you are going home and you're taking inventory of his actions the answer is no because if it's not a yes it can only be a No there is no such thing as maybe because if you take the place of a maybe you become a placeholder placeholders do maybes desperate girls for relationships do maybes you deserve way more than that when someone gives you mixed signals it almost sends a subconscious message to our brains as women where we start to want to draw closer to that person because we're just like no like let me prove let me try and get a definite answer out of this situation because I need to get to the bottom of this because why are things just like not making sense you know I've struggled with this myself in my life where things may not have made sense to me and all it does is make me want to figure it out more so what do you do you stick around longer you see you know what you can do to try and make things change you try to gauge like if they really meant what they said if they you know if their actions are aligning with their words and I find that all to be just too much work if the answer was simply yes you know a lot of the times players don't want to talk about anything relationship related right they'd like to keep everything surfacy and very light they like to keep the conversation light if you want to bring up something of substance oh I was you know wondering you know like kind of like what we are I mean why don't we just see where things go like why do we have to rush to do any of this stuff take this from this video if you don't take anything from this video aside from me giving my advice on being confused if the answer is not yes the answer is no that's it there's no way around it and the reason why players succeed so well is because naturally what men are master compartmentalize errs this means they can juggle the girl that they like a little bit and keep them in their corner they can juggle the girl that's been around for like ten years that they refuse to let go and they do all the boyfriend things with this girl but won't claim this girl what is that about for us as women it's very difficult for us to try and process that because we think okay if he's with this girl and they're doing this and you know they may be going away together or he don't probably met her family or I don't know like she has like things in his home whatever the case is naturally we think oh he's serious about her but to a man it could just be you know out of all the girls that I sample in between you and while I'm with you I I like you as well I like you a lot you know we have a history for whatever the case is but and I will do things for you because I do care about you but it's not enough to really actually want to be with you you know I'll show up if you call me I do actually genuinely care but not enough to actually make you my girlfriend you're good enough for me to keep on the side you're good enough for me to pick up when you call you're good enough for me to help you out of certain situations but not good enough to be my girlfriend Wow now I think that's the worst position of them all you know and that's the worst place to be put in by a player because this girl now know all the things that you do she's okay with it and then on top of that you send mixed signals now what norm stereotypical female normal stereotypical female would settle for something like that where it's like hmm I'm so secure in the fact that I have this opportunity with this person and I have this much access to this person but I'm not even their girlfriend or lease girl that's what your man is telling everybody else that you're not his girlfriend whoa is it worth the disrespect of not even being claimed you tell me you know in turn with the guy that sends mixed signals it makes you want to guess him to death and just be the fun girl be the light-hearted girl you know since the conversation is always so light nothing is really too much in depth it just makes you want to just okay be the picture-perfect person that we kind of view them to want and then maybe that'll draw him in at the end of the day players like to have their cake and eat it too and they omit tons of information because they don't find it useful to tell you of course because they think or they probably know as well okay if I tell this girl the truth she probably will not say and that's not okay with them because it's like man I don't want to lose this girl in this girl I don't want to have to start all over again with whatever I'm doing so I might as well just omit information like for instance I asked this guy knowing already conceived AUSA's woman we are not going to ask you a question that we don't already have the answer to so I literally asked him hey what did you know I'm Valentine's Day I already knew he tells me oh I am I spent time with me know my my family my kids no he did not spend time with his family and his kids he was with another girl and he literally lied to me about it and looked at me dead in my face when he said it imagine that all right because in his eyes he thinks it's justifiable because he didn't lie about where he was he lied about who he was with so to him he feels like I mean I didn't really actually lie and also if I told you the truth how am i Chi perceived that it you are such a stand-up person and you're such a good guy then why don't you just tell the truth you know I date you know and I ended up going on a date with you know this girl um whatever the case is what am I gonna do flip out and be like oh my god I can't believe you went on a date with this other girl are you crazy what am I gonna do like I don't know why are you lying I don't trust Ciara you're pathetic and honestly I don't need your situation like I don't by you know watch out for situations like that please please I'm just going to help somebody anybody back to what I was saying about players enjoying having their cake and eating it too in order to avoid coming across as a jerk because there's multiple different types of players there are players that are genuinely nice guys but they just want to play the game and then there's guys that are just jerks and there are actual players right now but guy that's not a jerk that probably really does care for this person will do all the boyfriend things for this girl and basically you would assume from the outside looking in that that's definitely this girl's boyfriend but in reality it's really not and guys find themselves in that type of position quite often because naturally if you spend a lot of time with someone you do tend to grow feelings for them but it's still not enough to make you want to lock it down and I think that that's probably the worst position like I stated before to be in where you're just in limbo you got this guy lying on you saying he's not with you you got this guy sending you you know mixed signals and not for nothing you know all of these things you may or may not be knowledgeable of all of these things and you know now what like what really are your options what are you actually gaining from this besides samples of fun and entertainment I have a serious pet peeve for creating memories with people that are wasting my time you know I'm specifically in terms of relationships with guys if you know that your intentions with me are not genuinely pure and you're not you're trying to run some sort of game over me you would have thought right I'm gonna get upset cuz you're wasting my time and I don't like to waste my time time is something you cannot get back so save me all the antics the I care about use the I think you're great I think you're special words of affirmation right players like to do this to tell you everything you want to hear that's what they're good at especially the more experienced the guy is the older he is and the younger you are they like to run the game on you they know exactly what to say to play into your emotions to keep you exactly where they want you to be period players tend to make you feel like you are overthinking things right they always want you to think oh stop oh I would know that's not what I'm thinking oh that's not what it is all this oh that oh save me with your lies and deceit cuz you thought you were going somewhere but you were going nowhere real fast right all over again so here's the thing you have to really have a keen eye and a keen sense and when you step into a relationship with a man or you're dating someone you need to have a goal and say focus on that goal and don't lose sight of it until you get it that's the only way to really win because the guy's first goal is not initially to just be with you a guy's first goal is how long do I have to wait what do I have to invest to get to sleep with this girl that's their number-one goal so you need to have a goal so that you don't end up making mistakes and so that you don't fall prey to guys that are players because when all is said and done and you look at logic and you take inventory actions versus words inconsistency things that he chooses to blow up versus things that he tends to just roll over that speaks volumes you have to read between the lines and the simple fact that you even have to read between the lines it's just a simple indication that you're you are being played in fact you are being played there's no two ways about it I think another thing that tends to attract us to players and why we fall for them is because they feel just out of our reach and for some reason I don't know in our subconscious it gravitates us to that person even more everybody wants what they can't have or every girl wants to tie the guy down or get the guy you know because men when women with sex woman with men with relationships but that just brings me to my point if you don't have the relationship then how have you necessarily won what are you doing you see when you're young and you have all this time to gain experience and to waste you don't have that option in your late 20s when you want to start settling down or if you want to start settling down and looking for someone serious so if you are having these patterns and entering into these situations experiencing things like this at you know 30 32 33 that's that's that you're in some hot water then you're definitely in some hot water I also just want to know right and this applies to me life is going to teach you the same lesson over and over again until you've actually learned from it so if you find yourself questioning yourself oh oh my god I just don't understand how I keep on ending up in situations with these guys that are just always playing me and they're always just disrespecting me and all of these things it's because you haven't learned yet you didn't take inventory of your mistakes and make sure to not make them again you didn't believe this person's patterns you just took their words let me tell you something another major point to take from this video words are cheap I don't care how much you get over complimented how pretty you are or even if let's say you know that you're kind of in a little competition with the other girl and you know listen that girl is literally a joke because first of all look at her and look at me you know girls tend to do that you know what I mean it doesn't matter it doesn't matter to the guy because obviously that girl that he's keeping around he has some sort of interest in her to keep her around it doesn't matter if he doesn't want to be with her or not she's still there and she loved her complacent place she loves being a seat warmer you know and that makes it difficult for girls like us who don't accept those types of relationships and actually want something that's solid and you have to deal with people that have soul ties and situation ships with placeholders and bench-warming girls you know you see how that works so I would eliminate myself completely from situations like that because to me that girls always gonna be there and she's always gonna be just waiting you know till you leave till the next chick comes in like she just doesn't care and I don't really understand people like that um and even if I did I wouldn't even ever make that mistake you know different strokes for different folks but yeah listen players and men really can separate their emotions exceptionally well right when you have the makeup of a man right master compartmentalizing emotional detachment that is just a fabulous recipe for just running through the town don't you think you don't catch feelings easily and that's why it's hard for guys to let women go once they kind of holds a special place in their heart it may not even be like I'm stressing to you guys like this person wants to sail off into the sunset and marry this person but it doesn't take away from the fact that he still cares for this person and you have to make the decision of whether or not you're willing to accept a circumstance like that and I'm betting you that you're not right so it's kind of like why enter it in the beginning anyway and I don't know about you guys but I'm the type of person where I do tend to think about how I get into a situation because I believe that's how you get out of it right so if I look at some guys you know ex and I'm like whom I wonder how they broke up or or whatever the situation is I do tend to like judge him by that situation so to me I was dealing with this guy before and he was dealing with this girl for so long and she knew like she knew this person wasn't exclusive to him or whatever the case is and he lies about it all the time basically and or omits information but he can go do whatever it is else that he wants to do I mean it doesn't make any sense and I think that when we start to blur the lines or when guys make moves like that they want to blame you for your reactions on how you react to certain things and you know tell you what you don't have the right to do and all of these things and it's just really interesting because not all men are bad I genuinely don't believe that there are many good men on this earth ladies I'm not preaching to hate men that's not my mo here at all but there are certain times where men will put you in positions where you may react and then try to pin it on you oh I cannot believe you would do something like that whatever the case is and it's kind of like okay says the law as the manipulator says the player and I'm supposed to trust your character and you're questioning mine half of the things that I already know you've lied to me about that I've asked you a question about you want me to trust you and you think I'm buying into your stories the joke's on you see that's what's crazy the joke's on you play with fire if you want to play that fire you want to you know I was reading a quote and it said people will explain to you different versions of myself now I'm not sure if this exactly it speaks to me but I think it definitely does speak for many of us right people may explain to you a version of you know a person being very sweet and the quote said believe them and then people may explain a version of a person that you know this person's like the meanest person on earth and then the quote said believe that too because basically what the quotes trying to explain is I act accordingly based on the situation I think that speaks volumes for a lot of us so how do you avoid falling for a player here's the first thing do not let your guard down you are single until you are claimed you do not zero in and focus on any one man alone until he has given you that same respect figure out his situation cuz a lot of the times guys always have some sort of lingering bed bug or lingering woman in their life that they may you know be lying to and creating a whole story you know - because a liar is a liar if someone's lying to me I know they're lying to the person that you know they're with because you just don't really have and that much of a moral structure as you think you do you're not really as smart as you think you are and yeah women are naturally very cunning we wouldn't have to activate that if it wasn't being brought out guys like to call girls crazy it's normally guys that are cheaters and players they want to call girls crazy but behind every crazy girl is a man that made her that way right you feel like you don't owe me telling me the truth but you feel like I owe you sleeping with you and entertaining you at your convenience and being with you at your convenience wake up you're living in a delusion break out of your bubble it does not work that way this is why it's important to stay neutral believe patterns study patterns like almost like it's a project you got to kind of view it this way when you're serious about not getting hurt if you just want to go with the flow and you're just dating and you don't really care and do what you want but if you are serious about not getting played because getting played is not a fun thing and nine times out of ten you feel played because you were only with this person right otherwise if you're dating other people he's hitting other people and you didn't really get played because you guys are both doing your own thing but if you are only with this person you feel played for a reason you have to believe his patterns study his actions don't get you know wood and food and coud buy his compliments and how he fake looks at you guys will literally do anything to save themselves I mean almost anyone probably would do anything to save themselves if a guy really wants to paint a certain picture to you he's going to do just that I really just wish you angels understood how cheap words actually were words are so cheap so cheap so don't just listen to whatever he says look at what he's doing look at his consistency look at that and make your judgment and quite honestly if you lean into your intuition are going to kind of feel such an unsettling feeling because when something feels right it feels right for a reason if something was meant to be it will flow it will be easy it wouldn't be such an unexploited war between you and this person that you desire right I mean really actually think about that because I think a lot of the times us as women we just were fighting in our head because that's like the normal thing for girls to do and we're just like did he mean that who is this and I found this girl's Instagram and why did she post this picture and is she looking at my Instagram and like what's going on here and why you know why would she post a caption like that if they were allegedly broken up and you know he told me this story and he never really said that we were exclusive but I feel like he's my boyfriend whenever he's around me any person any man that makes you feel like that that makes you question your position that makes you question your value that doesn't just show you that they want you in their life all they do is tell you they want you in their life is a waste of time please please listen to my advice please somebody needs to hear this please and I'm this video is coming honestly solely from a lot of my experience I'm being very transparent words are just words people can pretend to show interest half the time so you know not to believe someone's words just be careful of the mentality of I want to win no this is a competition I don't care who she thinks she is she's not gonna get him I'm gonna get him is it really worth it some girls really do have it in them to just fight the good fight all is fair in love and war right but I tend to be the person where I just give up I'm like listen you can have him because honestly he's not really yours he's for everybody so I don't need your situation like Jordan Woods said I don't need your situation so you can continue on with him believe whatever delusion and you want to believe and I'm gonna move on with my life another thing that's important to note you don't want to put yourself in the position of being a benchwarmer a placeholder you're just keeping the spot warm you guys share and build these incredible you know moments and have this bond and in the end sweetie honey you are the only one that's gonna get hurt because in the end when all is said and done if you really wanted you it would be you if he really wanted you he would choose you and he's not choosing you I don't care what things look like you have this really start to question okay he does this this and this for me but if that's the case then like why is he just not my boyfriend yet maybe he just needs time maybe he's just like really hurt and I know he's gone through a lot of things in life no no when men know they know when they're sure they're sure when they want to choose you they'll choose you when they want to take you off the market they're gonna take you off the market they're not gonna play games at your feelings they're not gonna put you know they're not gonna blame time for the reason they're not gonna do any of those things it really just tips at your self-esteem when somebody that you probably desire and you gave a fair chance to and you gave your all to doesn't see that value in you and naturally you tend to feel like what you don't feel good enough it's like oh my gosh like what more do I have to prove to this person so that they want to be with me it just doesn't work like that that's why that method of proving yourself doesn't work with these men guys know the difference between a girl that is like a wife type and the girl that they just want to have a one-night stand with you think they don't know that players don't want to mess with the girls that only want the one-night stands because that's not attractive right they don't want the girl that everyone had they want the good girl and then they want to play with the good girls feelings and keep the good girl in limbo and tell her how nice she is and how great of a wish will be someday nonsense wasting your time I'm telling you these are things that these men do when you look at the facts do you really want to be with someone that is unavailable or emotionally unavailable you can't undo that action for a grown man you can't make someone emotionally available if they already are not you can't make someone love you you can't make someone wants to be your boyfriend if they already know they don't want you and I just want you guys to know that I completely get it it's hard when you you're with someone and you're hanging out with them and you're having a good time and you genuinely do like this person especially if you actually think this is a nice person and you just feel so many different emotions of you know betrayal and maybe insecurity like oh my gosh I can't believe I found out this person was doing all of these other things and in retrospect when you look back it starts to make sense because it's like hmm no wonder why he didn't do this or no wonder why he hid his phone here or no wonder why he's still on tinder or all of these other things it's just like to me once someone lies to me a man in a relationship I will never trust them again it's just so hard for me to trust them again because if you can lie to me and I'm not even anything with you we don't have any title then how do I know that you wouldn't lie to me if we did because you have every reason to tell me the truth because we are nothing so if we are something then what and lastly if you are dealing with a person like this you can try and pull this move if you're dealing with a player and you feel like you fell for a play already you could try this using your absence to create desire and sort of honor in a way when you just go someone completely it kind of puts the ball back in their Court to see okay let me see how long it's gonna take for this person to contact me and what are they gonna say when they do so you simply just ghost that person just ghost them don't even speak to them again you already have the facts you already know what they're doing you're already on to their game ghost em that's it then you can gauge hmm what did this person actually think about me does this person actually mean what they say when they say it really you know absence does make the heart grow fonder I mean that's really a total thing and because of that as a result when this person returns back in your life and showers you with temporary affection it makes you feel extra excited and now he's got you right where he wants you it's like yep hooked her again see her in a couple months after this no no no no no that's the time where you put your foot down and you just end things because who even wants to be with someone anyway that didn't even see your value the first time because that's just how I think I feel like if you were like this before and I gave you a fair chance like I'm not giving you another chance really I might act like are probably many of you another chance but I'm probably not really I mean I it depends on what day you catch me on if I'm bored enough because I feel like what reason do I have to genuinely believe that you've changed that you had a change of heart more than likely you haven't yet you're just a liar players lie they have to you have to lie and omit information in order to be a successful player you have to because you're juggling a lot of girls and a lot and all of them feel like they have a special place in your life and you got to keep that narrative going right so angels that concludes the end of this video I really hope that you guys have enjoyed this topic specifically I feel like so many of us can definitely relate to this topic of why we fall for players and their games and you know the schemes that they try to run on us and you know the game that they try to run on us just don't be a victim of that anymore decide today I'm done I'm cutting off Tony I'm cutting off whoever needs to be cut off in life because it's not worth my energy anymore I don't deserve to feel confused I don't deserve to be played with I don't deserve to wait around until you make up your mind about how you think I would be an asset to you or how valuable you think I am you just don't deserve that because if the answer was yes it would be yes and otherwise the answer is no okay so do not forget that I love you and God loves you and I'll see beautiful angels in my next video [Music]

Channel: Asha Christina

Views: 76,861

Rating: 4.946362 out of 5

Keywords: level up, relationships, relationship advice, advice, beauty, players, games, situationships, manipulation, lies, Deceiving, Deceit, control, waste of time, waste of energy, smoke and mirrors, pathetic, dating do's and don'ts, played, getting played, cheated, cheated on, ghosted, resentment

Id: _TZVpT1SAbo

Length: 33min 39sec (2019 seconds)

Published: Thu Mar 21 2019