Online Dating: Tinder? Bumble? Let's Chat!

a real sugar daddy for whatever is not going to be on the internet I highly doubt that someone is going to plaster themselves and say hey looking to literally finance her entire life hit me up hi angel welcome back to my channel and welcome to my channel for all my new subscribers today's video is going to be a hugely requested video as you can see from the title online-dating what do I think about it any profiles that I've tried out different types of social networks that I've tried out we're gonna talk about it all but before we dive into it if you are new here hello hi my name is aja I want you to follow me on instagram which will be right here and also tell your friends to tell friends girlfriends tell friends a girlfriend they need to subscribe to this channel join us over here if you want to be a part of the a-team super exciting stuff shopping for you guys I have my merch line that will be coming out extremely soon okay so stay tuned for that I'm also going to have a mailing list that's going to be available to you guys very soon so that you guys will automatically get notified when my merch actually drops super exciting stuff so without further ado let's get into this video so I do want to state as a disclaimer that's everything that I'm mentioning in this video is of course my opinion and also based off of my own experience everything is always circumstantial like I always say so if you disagree and your experience was different or has been different that's okay so the big question is of course what do I think about online dating well here's what I have to say about that um you know I do not under any circumstances condone online dating why Asia what's wrong with online dating well here's why here's a lot of reasons why for one when you're online you can be anyone that you want to be okay and that goes across any social media platform so usually what are the types of people that are normally on dating sort of apps whatever websites it's usually a certain type of pool of people or as I like to refer to it as a certain cesspool type of don't shoot the messenger I'm just saying so you are looking at potentially jaded guys divorcees guys are on a rampage guys that are just literally looking to vet specific types of girls to play and prey on you're looking at fake sugar daddies you're looking at a mess okay a complete and utter mess and quite honestly men are not really on tinder looking for love say it out loud with me doesn't it sound weird yeah bro I'm totally on tender because um I just I really wanted to find love and I really just like wanted to look for like the right girl like did you hear that like it sounded completely ridiculous didn't it lol we're laughing talk to you later what like understand this if easy for women normally started typically to go on tinder you want to see the guys that are out there maybe you're a shy person so dating online is something that's easier for you to kind of get that conversation started so that you can go meet someone do you understand but for men it's a different thing their mo is different because they always won as we know have some sort of motive of okay let's see what this girl's showing me right right yeah she's got a nice rack mm yeah that looks good she's got a fatty yeah like that squeeze squeeze you know what I don't really like that she said that she hates cats in her bio so you know let me swipe what hold on look at that picture one more time no her butts too big for me to swipe left because I know she hates cats but I have like seven of them but it doesn't matter you know I'm gonna keep this girl because she has a fatty like you have to understand the vetting process that men go through when they are going on these online dating profiles the last thing that they're actually thinking about is looking for a girlfriend looking for love online because think about it if your dating pool let's say is between the ages of 18 to let's say even 35 okay 18 year-old boys are certainly not looking for their girlfriends on the Internet okay they can easily look for a girl to mess with and play around with especially if you're on campus it's the best thing to do ever these dating apps are actually great for men not so great for women you can add your school on your tinder profile and you can see who on campus is also on tinder I mean it's great it's a great way to meet people do you understand however in terms of finding something soluble on tinder or any of these sort of apps I don't really think you're gonna find it and if you're finding that your dating pool let's say is 42 you know and up that's a red flag a 40 year old on tinder looking for love no okay a 4 year old is probably more than likely some jaded guy or some guy who could never get his life together or some guy who's literally looking to pray and play on young girls then you got some guys are on there trying to be fake sugar daddies like first of all ladies a real sugar daddy for whatever is not going to be on the internet I highly doubt that someone is going to plaster themselves and say hey looking to literally finance your entire life hit me up I mean could I be wrong maybe but like seriously real actual contenders and successful men to begin with first of all that even have money that would even do something like that wouldn't really actually be online if you actually really sit there and think about it it's just a thought I'm just saying if you are meeting someone online they are definitely playing games all you have to do is literally swipe swipe swipe to get the next check the next check the next check the next check okay and then you have these sort of thoughts in your head of okay hmm this guy's really good-looking successful and he's on tinder or he's on bumble like naturally you're gonna think to yourself okay what is wrong with this guy and then he may think okay this girl is attractive she has a nice body she has a cute face I like her bio I mean there has to be something wrong with her cuz why couldn't she just get a guy walking down the street maybe she's damaged goods she's probably totally DTF so online everyone is sort of forming these preconceived notions based off of your profile and your description whatever your bio and also of course your photos that's the only thing that you have to go off of to judge someone to figure out whether or not you want to swipe right or left correct it's not always an accurate depiction right because we are putting online what we want people to see those guys were putting online what they want you to see and you know what I find really interesting here's a tip for you ladies anytime you're talking to a guy and you notice that in the duration of you talking to him the amount of people he follows incrementally goes up like daily whatever it is that's not really by my definition normal I only follow people that I actually know I really do I really honestly do follow people that I know or that I'm pretty much acquainted with because I like to keep my feed full of people that I actually want to see what they're doing do you understand what I'm saying so if you follow a guy and let's say he was following 200 people and then asked from the duration that you guys have been talking in the last two to three weeks next thing you know you turn around he's following 220 people 283 people it's like how did you all of a sudden find 83 more people to follow in the duration of us talking give or take okay you should have your little roster going on but depending on where you are in life depending on whether or not you want to take my advice and actually get a roster and not place so much emphasis on just one specific person because a lot of times when you do that you do end up getting hurt because one you just met this person you don't know this person and I'm telling you ladies no matter how strong you may feel that your connection is it's still always good I'm just saying to protect yourself okay you don't want to you want to make sure that however your feeling is reciprocated okay and really my right answer this question are you single or not it's a yes-or-no answer if you're still single and you feel so heavily invested into a certain individual I'm not saying that's wrong but what I'm saying is is that other individual equally as invested in you do they feel the same are they actually not talking to other people too how do you know you met this guy literally online okay you know if he's talking to a thousand other girls on tinder you don't know if he's planning on meeting two three girls during the week on tinder on Bumble even worse I need god I hate bumble you don't know I did a little experiment I actually went on tinder for a month just to test it out because everyone says oh when you pay for it you get better results guys ladies angels no it's the same cesspool of people the only difference is you can place yourself anywhere in the world and you can also see people that liked you before you actually swipe so to figure out if you like them or not those are the only cool features about it but other than that nothing really is that great of paying for that online I mean seriously it was only $10 but it wasn't really such a grand difference from not paying versus paying in my personal opinion and what I actually specifically say cesspool keep in mind I'm literally talking about this type of situation where you have guys that their main form of connecting with women is simply through social media okay when I was 21 I had an ex boyfriend at the time and he literally was incrementally following girls on Instagram all every single day this guy's Instagram following of who he was following was going up up up and up every day and I felt like okay I'm uncomfortable too say something do I not say something because I'm not his girlfriend and I wasn't used to that I was always used to I like you you like me we're boyfriend and girlfriend that's honestly what I was used to at that time based off of my previous experience and for this guy at the time he was 27 so I wasn't really used to his method of things so it was definitely a learning curve for me I mean ultimately we did end up to be boyfriend and girlfriend but it really wasn't the best type of relationship and it really took some getting used to because he messaged me on Instagram that's literally how he and I started dating I mean another guy to message me on Instagram thousand times oh I can't I want to see you two Navia the exchanging information against my better judgment which I intuitively felt like I shouldn't have every five seconds can't wait to see you oh you're so beautiful all this stuff yawn oh my god next thing you know the day of comes that were allegedly supposed to meet in mind you this happened a total of three times literally never met would talk to me consistently all the time would actually talk to himself a lot of the time because I stopped being as responsive it's pointless and then the last time that we agreed to meet I already knew in my head it wasn't gonna happen I never spoke to this person again he literally was like oh you know I haven't spoken you in a long time because after the second time I was done you know and I said to him well I'm pretty sure the last time he was saying out you forgot and you didn't say anything and he was like oh well I don't want to accept no for an answer like I want to see you you know how these boys are and boom the day came again this was the third time it's supposed to happen I already planned something over our date because I intuitively knew it wasn't going to happen next thing you know I was ready and it never happened it's like this culture with online dating that you you'll even I've heard of instances where you'll even meet up with someone have a great date next thing you know you never hear from them again and then you're confused like wait I'm so confused we ended up meeting up we hit it off great boom the only other thing to assume is oh you probably went on another date the next day probably and you know it's continuing to swipe right swipe right so right whatever swipe left whatever you want to call it who knows and then in some of these apps even I don't even remember which one it was where you can actually see when someone's online or not and it's kind of awkward because yeah you know in the beginning stages people are usually talking to more than one person especially guys let's be real here call a spade a spade men are always please understand this men are always talking to more than one girl when you guys are in the initial stages of talking the only time that stops or should stop is if he decides and it's a mutual agreement that you guys are going to date exclusively please understand that don't try to base it off of your connection your attraction those things do not matter as I guarantee you right now okay he is talking to another girl I'm this is not even a jaded perspective this is honestly reality he's talking to another girl probably commenting on another girl's photos probably going on tinder as we speak on bumble as we speak on luck see what are those exclusive apps they have like more exclusive apps like Luxy and like inner circle something like that where it's supposed to be more exclusive yeah I've been there yada yada no different it's successful okay it's successful the guy that I personally would desire to be with wouldn't be online looking for girls you know why because he's working towards his success or he already is you know a successful person looking to get more even more success he doesn't have time to be online scrounging around for females to literally prey on when one if he's attractive and successful he can do that interpersonally because he has the network and he has the access junus send my point no one that I would be interested in I would find online I just wouldn't that's just me has it happened before where people have had you know girlfriends and boyfriends whatever the case is and they found them online yeah and you know what I've heard of instances I know people where it has happened to and I'll tell you that's you know many people that's happen to two people in my entire 25 years of living that's just my life though that's just my experience I'm just saying on the grand scale of things a lot of the times you're not going to find love online you're just not anyone can be anyone that they portray okay and you also have to think nine times out of ten the more charismatic the guy the more games that he's actually playing and you know ladies we're like the FBI you can go and see a guy that you follow right you can if you're following the person you can see their activity on you know on Instagram or whatever the case is and you can see all the things that they're doing you can see all the things that anyone's really doing honestly to be quite honest with you you can literally see it so if you notice that throughout the duration of you following this guy that he's following 20 more girls 30 more girls cuz more than likely he's following a bunch of girls he's not following a bunch of guys he's definitely talking to those girls he's definitely sliding in those girls DMS he's definitely commenting on those girls photos you know be realistic be realistic this is life this is just a part of a dating game it's really nothing to be discouraged about you know what I mean because at the end of the day you just have to acknowledge what is and understand how the game is and you have to play it accordingly okay until you have a title of being someone's girlfriend where there's accountability on both ends you're single you can talk to who you want I know you don't want to because you may like this person or whatever the case is but I guarantee you that he's doing it anyway I guarantee you okay keep that in mind do not let your guard down until you actually should okay it doesn't mean that you cannot like the guy does it mean that you have to be mean or standoffish or anything like that that's not what I'm saying what I'm saying is you have to be wise you either play the game where you get played duh you know and and and really stay off of the online profiles stay off of that these eighteen year old guys are not looking for a relationship these forty five year old men on tinder and Bumble okay these 50 plus men on tinder and Bumble like lol like laughing out loud like talk to you later what like what are these men with full-blown lives doing on tinder what are they actually doing on tinder besides looking for probably young girls to literally lie to you and scheme on and then they'd be more experienced they know how to vet and read young women they know how to do it so they meticulously pick and choose who they think is going to fall for their games okay and then if you are someone that your dating pool is a lot younger let's say 18 to let's say even 30 right guys are still trying to figure out who they are what they want to do with their lives men don't actually really mature despite human beings frontal lobes being fully developed at 25 they don't actually fully fully mature until they're really like 40 45 years old really you know and of course every single person has a different level of maturity do you understand what I'm saying but essentially if you're dealing with someone who is on the road to success and trying to you know achieve more depending on the individual more than likely it's not gonna go anywhere and why why is that because men are master compartmentalizes but men are not multitaskers women are now how is that women are more capable of let's say working on their career and and establishing themselves and still probably you know being in a more serious relationship okay with men their focus is a lot different I'm sure it happens all the time where men are with women that help to build them in their success because some men really do thrive in that manner but on the other hand for the ones that don't obviously they're not gonna stay single at all their lives so they're gonna be kind of playing around and playing the field until they figure out more who they want to be so for me when I was 21 and my boyfriend at the time was 27 he was still trying to figure himself out and we were in such different life arenas even though we were only what six years apart I was 21 he was 27 I mean mentally we are on you know a different level he simply wasn't happy at the time with his life so he even apologized to me eventually and said I'm sorry that I hurt you in the midst of trying to find myself and I think that that is something that is so important that when you are on the road to finding yourself right here's the take home from all this stuff when you're on the road to trying to find yourself whether you are a female or male sometimes you end up dragging people down like in your path because you're trying to find yourself here you don't really know who you are yet so of course we'd like to think that you know the older the person is that they're gonna be more mature which normally is the case however online I would steer clear away from anyone online I absolutely would advise against it it makes no sense for someone in there you know 40s and up especially to be sitting on tinder trying to get with girls I mean seriously like where's your entire life what's happening so I do expect it to definitely be you know something that's for you know the younger guys you know 18 to let's say than 30 because 30 is really young that's even pushed it to 35 you understand what I'm saying these guys are looking for fun they're looking for oh let's be friends and you guys already know they are the friends we are the benefit and I mean that in the sense where you ultimately form friends with benefits relationships unintentionally on your end with these with these men because women don't normally go searching for friends with benefits relationships with guys because we being women being a more emotional beings we can't really detach intimacy from our emotions but being that men can for them they're able to sustain those types of relationships and multiple versions of them as well and that's where your feeling starts to get hurt and involved I mean think about it half the time online two people are writing these eloquent BIOS and these guys are wooing you with whatever garbage and nonsense that they're putting on there and you're already getting attached to that person by the words that they're saying let's look at the actions what are you doing you say all these things but what are you doing do you understand that's what you have to pay attention to I always say lays action action action is this person communicating with you daily okay is this person consistent in their communication with you does this person all of a sudden one day will talk to you all day and then next thing you know he goes two days randomly without a word speaking to you at all take notice of these types of behaviors okay and please understand that this is just how the game goes because if you're not doing it it's being done to you okay and it's not a bad thing you're not doing anything wrong like I said you're single until you are actually claimed it is what it is if somebody has an issue with you talking to other people then you need to cut off who you're cutting off and the same will be done on my end do you see what I'm saying so you know if you want to be taken seriously then you need to take me seriously cuz it's all fun and games until you realize that you've been talking to the sky for the last three four months and nothing's come out of it and all you've done is hang out with him have fun you really like him and you're still single it feels like you're in a relationship but you're not you want to avoid that completely okay you want to avoid being online trying to find love and relationships online you're not gonna find it on the Internet you're just not you know test my theory I that's completely fine if you want to I have no issue with that but for me and who I want in my life and the person that I desire I would never want to find him on an online profile and this also doesn't mean that the person that you're talking to even if you met the person in person and it doesn't mean that they also don't have social you know dating profiles but then there's this sort of awkward topic of if you met that person online and you really really like them then the next conversation kind of becomes hey so um I kind of deleted my profile like I was kind of wondering like if you did too and then you have to worry about okay did he really believe his profile or he has to worry about that she really delete her profile and it's just such a bad culture of okay well if you're not going to do what I what I say or if I don't like one thing that you said or if I don't hear from you or whatever the case is I'm just gonna go back online then keep swiping so I think so I think so I've been getting to the next girl to the next girl to the next girl the next guy the next side the next guy that's what it ends up turning into because that's kind of a society that we are in but also at the same time the online dating culture must cease because that's actually what it turns into you plan dates people go see you you go on dates people go steel you match of people on every every single dating app you'll find a guy where you match with him on tinder Bumble luck see inner circle the whole nine and you might never even speak to the guy ever and you match them yeah and don't even get me started on bumble I think it's absolutely a disaster it's a wreck what's happening because they want women to take the initiative to message the guys and you ladies already know I do not advise that at all because you need to be able to gauge whether or not a guy actually wants to pursue you because that's genetically really what they're supposed to do men are supposed to pursue women that's what they should do do you understand of course in society now things are you know a lot different but for me I'm more traditional in that sense if you want me let me know you want me communicate with me and I will reciprocate that same energy if not goodbye it's like it really is just how the game goes because in my eyes I know my value I know that there's someone for everyone so whatever I want and I desire there's somebody that's gonna be out there for it for me that's what it is at the end of the day there's some of us gonna be out there for you he won't be on the internet he won't be online okay and especially for you ladies on this channel as well for you ladies that want a successful you know guy in a relationship more than likely the more successful the guy genuinely I would hope that he's not online does it happen of course like I said maybe yes it happens but in the long term or in you know with the big picture looking at the big picture it doesn't normally happen it's not a normal circumstance where it happens often enough for me to advise for you to do something like that does that make sense I know that this probably wasn't what you guys were expecting because I know even you guys have asked me what are some online dating tips and things like that I mean maybe who knows maybe I will start I will reach online dating tips for those of you that still want to pursue online dating but in my personal opinion because I do not advocate online dating I don't personally enjoy online dating I don't even feel like I would make a video about how to online date when to me you know looking at the big picture I don't see a promising success rate that I would advocate for it per se and I feel like interpersonal connection is very very important and it's really important that we don't get lost in the art of interacting with people in person especially being a millennial people don't want a phone call they want a text all day people get really awkward with meeting people in person and we're really starting to lose our interpersonal skills me being a communications major I mean I certainly didn't lose it but a lot of people I do notice lose that ability to communicate I mean especially the younger that the generations are they don't want to ever speak on the phone I mean literally I noticed that with some of my younger friends I can't even call them I have to text them and say hey can I call you and while they're literally texting me I will call them and they still won't even answer the phone it's like I've met these people yesterday either it's like why do you not want to talk on the phone either Gress so that is the end of this video guys I hope that you guys enjoyed it do not forget that I love you and God loves you and I'll see you beautiful angels in my next video [Music]

Channel: Asha Christina

Views: 31,815

Rating: 4.883472 out of 5

Keywords: level up, relationships, relationship advice, advice, beauty, Shallon Lester, dating guru, Matthew Hussey, sheraseven1, asha c, asha cee, dating, dating advice, school of affluence, Anna bey, pink pill, the red pill, red pill, the pink pill, millennial dating, teen dating, leveling up, classy, style, sophistication, Carli bybel, toke makinwa, breeny lee, Isabel palacios, hailey gamba, mindful attraction 2.0, Chloe_, quality queen, quality queen control, QQC, online dating

Id: VPwWL3msbXU

Length: 30min 33sec (1833 seconds)

Published: Sat Sep 28 2019