Stop Being Emotional: Logic vs. Emotion

hi babes and welcome back to my channel for all my new subscribers welcome to the a-team remember to subscribe to this channel become a part of the a-team if you are not already if you don't know me and this is your first time seeing me your first video that you're seeing of me hi my name is aja very nice to meet you make sure that you turn on post notifications so that you are notified every single time that I post at the moment it's a bit sporadic I try to do and upload every other day but you know if you follow me on Instagram what you also should which will be right here then you would know that I've been renovating my room yada yada yada it's been a very difficult time trying to navigate my filming schedule cleaning up my room and all this stuff let's just jump right into the video so as you can see from the title this video is about logic versus emotion as women we are emotional period that is just how we are men are very physical so what drives us whether that be a similar situation our reactions will be different women are nurturers men are hunters and providers and with that being said as women we just get so caught up in our emotions a lot of the time that we're not able to see clearly no matter how obvious the answer may be or no matter how silly the situation that we're in may be and until we check that it will always be our biggest downfall so this is kind of like a teaching episode right I like to be as thorough and articulate as I can so what exactly does logic mean logic according to the Cambridge English dictionary is defined as a particular way of thinking especially one that is reasonable and based on good judgment now I do not judge genuinely I do not but the amount of dm's that I receive countless countless stories that my heart sincerely goes out to all these ladies that are experiencing these nightmare situations with a lot of these guys that they're involved with and I'm almost certain that if you ladies were to read some of the dm's that you send me out loud that you would see the simple solution to some of the things that you're asking but then on the contrary I also know that you know we've all been there where no matter how obvious something is it always helps to sometimes have someone else state the obvious no matter what it is that we're going through and the main issue always remains that we're too caught up in our emotions to see the blatant facts and we don't read actions as they are so with that being said now that we know the definition of logic let's look at the definition of emotion the Google definition of emotion is a natural instinctive state of mind that derives from a person circumstances mood or relationships with others feelings are temporary I'm sure I've said this in other videos before okay feelings are temporary feelings will set you back sometimes if you believe them I know I've said that for sure in another video feelings are not always reliable and that's the main issue we have to accept that and as women of course you know and a part of learning the game is to know your weakness and to work around that make sense so I'm just going to give some examples of random situations some of them I've been deemed about I'm only going to give three main ones though because we can go on and on and on about this subject forever and ever I'm going to explain how the person allowed emotion to run the relationship or ruin the relationship and I'm also going to state the logical perspective of how that person should have handled the situation so this one actually is Adm that I received basically the situation was a girl had explained to me she was dating a guy for about a month I believe she said and she happened to check his phone and she saw that he was deeming other girls and when she confronted him about it obviously she sayd about he felt so guilty that he said it's just a DM like it's not that serious obviously minimizing the situation then she also goes on to say that he liked an exes photo and when she confronted him about that he said that's just a picture it's just Instagram she proceeds to break up with him to get back with him two seconds later because he apologized for it and allegedly claims that he loves her they are both in college and they when they go on breaks they live in two different states so they are and never they go to the same school so obviously they got together because they go to the same school but really they live in two different states and the girl who deems me was saying is she overthinking and is she being insecure and my first initial thing is me being older now you know there are certain things that we have to go through in life like I explained to you guys in some of my other videos you can't skip certain struggles in life you can't skip getting your heart broken or being disappointed in a relationship at least one time you cannot skip that process because you have to learn from it and that's just also a regular part of life you're still very fairly young so this situation from an older perspective me only being three years older but being very wise from my experiences my friends experiences off the bat I will tell you that it is college okay there is a very slim chance especially if you got you guys are clearly dormers there you guys dorm he's not going to only be talking to you amongst all the girls in this school he doesn't even live in that state and neither do you the parties on his guy friends you know telling him bro get that girl get this girl and then also him being young now I don't know your age but I'm assuming you were definitely in between the ages of 18 to 21 for sure and checking his phone a month in is kind of setting herself up for the inevitable of what you were gonna see all you saw was what he was exactly doing he's not sorry he's sorry he got caught there's a difference hence saying that he loves you how let's look at the actions here right the action is you saw that he was jamming other girls when you brought it up he said it's just a picture it's just the DM then why would you feel the need to send a message and from your perspective you're thinking why would you feel the need to send a message to another girl or like your ex's photo if you claim that you love me if you claim that you're only with me so your emotional mistake is one getting back with him after you saw what you saw the evidence was what it was that will not change I guarantee you if you go to his phone go on his phone right now you're gonna see that he's DMing more girls it just doesn't stop there he doesn't take you serious 21 year old guys are not really gonna take you serious unless if you're in a relationship that stems out of high school and I mean if you guys go to different colleges I mean heck that thing's even gonna end not to be pessimistic but to be realistic right all of his actions look from a logical perspective now all of his actions are showing that he's not invested in you if first of all he's you guys spend you know four months this is a fairly new relationship and then as soon as you guys leave you guys are spending four months you know away from each other do you think that he's what waiting around for you I know that this is harsh and we'd love to think that oh yeah well I FaceTime him every day there's no way that he's looking to other girls listen let's stop giving guys credit for simple things it takes zero effort from a male perspective to shoot you a text and say hey what's up what are you doing hey are you free tonight hey are you available anytime this week it doesn't take any effort stop thinking and reading too much into the most minimal things we've all been there let's be honest and thinking that oh my gosh she must really care about me men are capable of saying anything for any reason right to get something that they want let's say you guys have already you know been incident with each other he could just feel like he could feel guilt and feel oh well I might as well keep her around because I kind of feel bad or he could think I might as well keep her around because she's gonna stay regardless because that's the message that you sent to him instantly when you took him back after he got caught doing what he was doing if he's liking an exes photo he's not over the ex if he's DMing a girl on Instagram he's not that invested in you and he's certainly not in love with you he how could he be in love with you you guys have been together for what a month he's not in love with you and I think also babe deep down you instinctively know the truth and you're undoing it and using your emotion to deny what is obvious okay a logical perspective would say something like okay we're young we're in college normal 21 year old guys that are away in school the last thing they're thinking of is I can't wait to go to school and get a girlfriend you know like that's really not how it works the objective is how many girls can I get in this school bro there's so many and I live here now I live with a bunch of different girls and I have so many options from freshmen all the way to senior if I can where I could get in I'm gonna fit in okay so what I would have done if you still wanted to entertain him being young you do have the time you could have saw that and played the game then from that point on reciprocal the same behavior make him chase you with that effort if he does that if he follows suit with that he's gonna start investing more on you kind of seeing how you feel so if you would have saw the DMS and said okay well I'm just gonna start distancing myself from him could have done that and then gauged his reaction towards you doing that to start testing if he cares and it's not gonna come in a month okay cuz it barely even comes to 21 year olds in the beginning anyway right certain things like I said are just unavoidable you just start doing your own thing simply that's what it is and more than likely I would say that it would eventually dissipate into a mutual cessation of interest or he would just move on as if nothing really happened and you guys weren't really a thing anyway you know what I mean because why his attention isn't clearly focused on just you and you could have easily tested that before if you saw what you saw and you didn't say anything and that's the bottom line because a month in realistically is too early for anybody to expect anyone to just drop all the people that they're involved with because what do I always say where's the emotional insurance he didn't emotionally invest anything in you but words and those words are catering to your emotions so when you look back logically and you think about his explanation and his explanation was it's just a DM it's just a picture okay well I'm just gonna stop talking to you then let's see how you like that one you know first mistake was going back that was that another example I'm gonna give so there was this guy that I knew and he was seeing this girl and their relationship was off and on numerous years and when she wanted to finally commit to him they actually broke up because she wanted more of a commitment so obviously saying this out loud you guys probably can agree with me think they were together for all of these years then why would they break up if all of a sudden she wanted a commitment weren't they together anyway guys this situation is ridiculous I can't even begin to extend like my brain it just it doesn't it doesn't you know anyway about a month went by he was seeing other people and she comes back into the picture hey I miss us I I miss all the fun times that we had I I want to come over today to you know hang out like old times oh okay well he's just going to keep using you like old times and unfortunately in her situation whether she sees it or not whether she will ever come to this conclusion and stop wasting her youth on someone who is wasting her time because I asked this person myself I said if you know that this person this girl loves you clearly she loves you do you have any intention of marrying her and he said no I don't and to be honest I wish that she would find someone else because I actually genuinely be happy for her that is called a placeholder chick a placeholder chick she is just holding a place for someone else that if he ever does decide to settle down he'll be with the other girl because this girl over here the placeholder chick has waited for him while he saw other people this whole time he told me he was seeing other people basically the entire duration of their relationship and for six years at that ladies do not ever waste your time you're a youth six years with someone that has zero commitment with you meaning you are not their girlfriends they are not your boyfriend but they're doing boyfriend things going to meet your family but they're not your boyfriend you guys call each other babe but you're not actually together you guys go on vacation together but he's not your boyfriend but if you check his phone it'll be an issue because well you already know how I am like you you know that I you know I'm not really exclusive to you but it gets overshadowed and washed over because he's doing boyfriend things you're doing girlfriend things and emotionally you're just thinking well I'm assuming that we're together because we've been together for all this time and I accept the fact that he's gonna be talking to other people but maybe if I wait around longer maybe when I turn 30 he'll finally see that I've been here all this time and I've been waiting and I just want to be with him unfortunately no your chances are shot if you had a real chance he wouldn't have been seeing other people and if you had any real self respect for yourself you wouldn't accept something like that right harsh somebody's gonna say this thing you have to value yourself enough ladies okay I don't know how many different times or different languages I could say this thing to not accept behavior like that where you are a placeholder waiting for a grown man to get his act together we're waiting for a immature 21 year old to get their act together they have a long way to go okay and you're just wasting years on your life wasting wasting wasting wishing and hoping and then before you know it you don't even bring into question what are we because you justified in your head well I've been here this long so I mean I might as well say no go what's changing when you text him what changed like you think he's gonna change his mind and say you know what I was thinking about it and after all these years of not actually being in love with you I think I actually want to come in now how do you spend six years with someone that has invested in you emotionally financially and they still don't love you ladies men are very capable men are very capable of pulling stunts like that and it fools us women because we are not that way innately where it's like okay the longer I spend with you the more I do for you I will you know end up you know loving you for men they will do regular boyfriend things in a act like they're in a full-blown relationship with you and still not want to be with you keep you and whatever circumstances you're coming with because they already know they have the leverage and the upper hand because they know that clearly you're just gonna put up with whatever and whoever and then leave you and go for the chick that they actually really want don't let that be you okay the logical standpoint of that as soon as she texted that message of hey I think we should talk I want to kind of take this to the next level we've been together for a long time now it doesn't make sense for us to not be at least considering marriage at this point and he said well you should go find that because you know I you know that's not something that I wanted so not only did you know that he never wanted to get married but she also confirmed it you just heard it come out of his mouth you saw him type that and you came back after that logically you should have said okay great you know I will always have love for you but if you can't simply give me what I want I'm not wasting any many more of my time I don't care what the history is don't ever be afraid to leave because guys will not be afraid to leave you for who they actually really want I don't care if you were with that person for 10 years it happens and that's just how they move you play the Bob the Builder chick the side chick the any chick that's not the girlfriend chick okay or the main chick as people call it these days and you're playing your self the 50/50 chick you know the pick me chick oh I'm down for you I'm writer died for you let let you do whatever thinking that the more I yes him to death he'll stick around he'll want to be around me because I let him do whatever I mean why wouldn't he want to pick me he doesn't want to pick you because you're a pick me chick men like challenges you're not a challenge the expiration date is beyond expired beyond expiration give it up you're done access denied and you should leave hands down he's wasting your time he's never gonna marry you okay next the third example that I want to give is a subscriber I believe deems me and she sent me a bunch of voice notes and she was basically saying that she was seeing this guy for six months and say what she presumed were in a full-blown relationship he was intimate with him quite soon sooner than she normally would be I don't remember the timeframe of that she saw certain things in his phone typical and she set up on his birthday she went to his house to you know surprise him at midnight I believe and when she went to go knock on his door he opened the door shocked to see her and didn't want to let her in there was another girl in the house he said oh she's leaving now so you can actually say what is going on here okay November she said that she stayed or she left but then she also proceeds to say that she went over his house another time just to I guess do a drive-by and she saw his car in the driveway and he was kissing another girl in his car she proceeds to say aysia what should I do babe leave but you're clearly so emotionally invested that your brain is undoing what you're actually seeing you saw he had a girl in his home and then says hey she's leaving you can sleep over now on his birthday he were surprised to see you but you guys were in an alleged relationship for six months you also saw him kissing another girl you know in his car and the fact that you're even doing drive-bys to his house clearly just means that you don't trust him anyways the fact that you have to have that extra security and honestly do crazy girlfriend tactics that type of stuff doesn't win because men don't really care about the subs you put on Facebook Instagram you know the heartbroken posts from these poet people on Instagram they don't care about the you know the drive-bys or anything like that because they're still doing what it is that they want to do they're sending a clear message of you can either accept this or you can just leave that's the message that he's sending across so the second you try to get back with him and you start questioning yourself is it me is this something that I did how is it that men do all these things to us and we question ourselves asking if it's because of us did I do something wrong where did I go wrong they just don't want to be with you accept that reality move on this is the thing I have to post another video actually about emotional detachment that's another video within itself because if he's not invested in you like I said in another video emotional insurance you're investing in him for why now you're heartbroken for why breaking your own heart because why logically the second that you saw that he had another girl you should have left ended it there the fact that you had to go by for confirmation just to actually see another instance of him with another person there is no salvaging this he doesn't care look at his actions he doesn't care why should you you know at the end of the day men like women who control their emotions instead of us think am i good enough am i doing enough that's what men need to feel they like to chase they like to know am I gonna be good enough for her does she does she want me we we have this whole thing wrong where we're thinking this when this is how they're supposed to be thinking okay don't ever be afraid to walk away from a situation that isn't serving you I made a promise to myself and I said you know especially after you know certain hardships that I would never break my own heart inflict my own wound by letting my emotions get the best of me and think that something means more than it doesn't if you're confused if you don't know if your intuition is trying to warn you about something it is because what you're thinking is a reality we have been given this gift of intuition and I always say you have to trust that you know what I mean at the end of the day ladies we all know what it feels like when a guy really likes us and you know a lot of the times you know we've all experienced those guys that like us but we don't really pay attention to them they're not our type yadda yadda yadda but they relentlessly pursue us that is the same relentless pursuit that the person you're interested in needs to have in you because where we go wrong is we compromised and we forget that and what that feels like and we start doing the chasing to prove that we're worthy we're the good girlfriend we're wifey material all of these things and no no more enough that is the man's job he's providing he's taking care of you he has to be emotionally invested or your emotions go nowhere that's it keep it tight keep it under control okay you have to because it is way easier for us to fall than it is for men and that's just science so the next time you find yourself in a situation where you're even confused when things go the right way it's because they're going the right way for a reason the second you find a bump in the road and you're questioning did that really mean that or you're leaving his house and you're taking inventory of what he said if he meant it who you know who's scrunchy was that in the bathroom I opened up his draw and I saw a bracelet hello these are all actual signs do not let well we've been together for like three months so that could be something old or maybe he was gonna surprise me with that stop just stop don't ever be afraid to walk away your equality queen quality queens do not behave like that fifty-fifty chicks Bob the Builder chicks pick me chicks masculine woman traits where you're you know miss independent and you don't need a man knows and I want to add this in to you can still be establishing your career ambitious intelligent all of these things and still want someone that's going to provide for you you can still be independent in all of these things why does you wanting someone to provide for you translate as you don't you shouldn't be ambitious you shouldn't have a career you're just waiting around for someone to do something for you that's not the case because the science of it all is I can have whatever I need to have that I'm coming with but this is your job this is my job as a woman to nurture have to have children I can still have my own meat of my own thing but it is a man's job to provide if he cannot do that the rule switch things start getting confusing does that make sense if you're splitting bills it's emasculated for him and while he's splitting the bill with you getting his act together he's gonna build himself up to go be with someone else that he can actually take care of why because it's innate for men to be providers so stop with the I don't need a man mantras enough be single then be single but for the rest of us that want to be good at this game this is how you have to play it remove emotion stop listening to what's being said to you and look at actions I can't even stress this enough how many different instances where the inevitable is right there their actions are not lining up with their words I really like you so much but you don't ask me out on dates you know you don't take initiative to see me every week you're not texting me you know on a consistent basis you're not calling me at all you want to be pen pals all day and you think that that somehow equates to caring and you know I mean like no no the answer is just no okay guys so that is the end of this video I hope that you ladies learned a lot from this video this is such a common instance that all of us have faced some of us are facing it you know the beautiful thing is it's never too late to change no matter the circumstance if you're not happy don't settle the worst thing you could do is settle for something that you simply don't want why should you there's a million billion people in this universe don't we all deserve to know what happiness really feels like why do we think that it's normal to accept struggle love it's not that ends today that ends right now okay so with that being said guys do not forget to thumbs up this video if you enjoyed it there's lots more content to come out so exciting I know that you guys have been requesting to see a lookbook from me a makeup routine skin care routine hygiene routine all these different things and they are definitely on the way and in the works I just am a perfectionist and I want to make sure that I you know have it filmed you know the way that I want it to be filmed and that everything is just perfect of course so I don't know whether you guys any longer make sure that you are subscribed okay if you were not already I love you and God loves you and I'll see video

Channel: undefined

Views: 248,490

Rating: 4.9460306 out of 5

Keywords: advice, level up, leveling up, anna bey, soa, school of affluence, classy, being smart, teaching, quality queens

Id: ntHs3u2Ow5Y

Length: 32min 40sec (1960 seconds)

Published: Mon Jan 07 2019