STOP CHASING MEN!!!

hey angels welcome back to my channel who has missed me okay hopefully not too much it's only been two days um really busy weekend nonetheless I'm back again with a brand new video for you guys this video as you can see is about stop chasing men okay but before we get into it I want you guys to follow me on instagram that will be right here and also do not forget to subscribe subscribe this guy's to this channel guys because our next goal is going to be a hundred K we already had 75 K I am so elated I cannot believe it and it just feels so humbling that you guys continue to support me and I'm really excited to continue to grow with you guys as a team the a-team of course and we all want to help each other and uplift each other we're sisters best friends cousins whatever you want we are that also before we move further I know you guys are going to ask me about my hair I am obsessed with this hair guys it is so so so cute on me and it's very very natural-looking I like the shade of blonde I realized I love you know the golden tones and this actual unit was inspired by Beyonce my hairstylist Marc Anthony had created this for me and I am in love with it it is so mean we are actually doing a contest okay where for all my New York subscribers exclusively to win a free install and wig ok bye my hairstylist so check the description box for all the information on that again it is only exclusive for all my New York subscribers for a 3 install and wig by my hairstylist I believe this contest ends on Tuesday the 30th so hurry up guys you have a couple days to get on that it will be really really amazing to see who wins let's get right into this video stop chasing men I know that a lot of us ladies find ourselves in this position where we don't even realize that we are chasing the guys that we desire guys if you hear that in the background it's literally the rain it's pouring in New York I think it's important for us to take a step back and understand that when we choose to chase a man we automatically lose when you chase men you compromised and you lower your standards because it is not a natural thing to do you know you devalue yourself and the next thing you know boom you are fighting common sense and falling for any of his lies and defeat that he's trying to pull over your eyes because you've already crossed the line as soon as you started compromising and running after him so naturally the question becomes how do you know if you are in fact chasing a man let me help you out you know you're chasing a man when you have to ask the following questions how do I get him back after he ghosted me how do you get him back after you go see if a guy ghosts you it's simply because he wasn't really that interested and is talking to someone else I mean if anything let the trash take out itself he eliminated himself good now you know how to move from here on out you clearly know he obviously doesn't care it's just I cut and dry how do I get him you know to want me back I know it's so difficult when dealing with you know a situation where you feel like you kind of lost someone and you want to get them back but this is how I perceive things at you know the older that I become it's kind of just like I'm not interested in who is not interested in me I don't care about who doesn't care about me I just don't have the energy I don't care but I understand that the same time the younger you are you have to go through this process of how do I get the guy back you know that ghosted me and he you know took me out on a bunch of dates and then all of a sudden he doesn't want to hang out anymore and you always have to initiate the conversation or initiate when you're gonna see him again and all you guys ever do is hang out at his place I guess that you know like I always tell you guys certain things in life we cannot skip so once you make those mistakes and you mature and you learn from them you understand the importance of action and not caring for what doesn't care for you because if we essentially really understood the genuine easiness and flow of a healthy functioning relationship I don't think that we would genuinely make the mistakes that we have and for some of us unfortunately that may not have ever experienced a healthy relationship you really have nothing to compare it to besides what you know or you may know is right in a relationship but for me I know that I have experience you know a healthy relationship before and I kind of always compare it to that that person really loved me I know what it feels like to be really loved and really cared for I know what it feels like when a man really wants you really desires you really will do anything for you so based on my experience of that I know how to identify that in other people you know just essentially bending your back and bending your schedule around this guy chasing him big mistake men can't and won't value what they don't work for and invest in if you start off easy and convenient they will exploit that and you will be taken advantage of if you're taking uber to him and always driving to his house delivering yourself on a silver platter to him Here I am he's gonna get used to that there was no initiative anymore to go out of his way to see you to make plans to go to dinner because now it's all at his discretion I understand we've all been there before but we just get so he used to the routine and we tell ourselves okay well I mean at least he is hanging out with me because if you really didn't want to see me I mean he wouldn't have agreed to even seeing me not true guys are capable of liking us to different degrees because they are master compartmentalize errs I always tell you guys this so with that being said if you just simply say hey are you busy I was wondering what you were doing on Wednesday night because I really wanted to you know probably get dinner or something like that if he has nothing to do I mean it's a Wednesday night and more than likely he feels like he's gonna sleep with you he's not gonna turn that down great he might reply saying something like this you know I'm really busy all day on Wednesday I won't be home till about like 10:00 p.m. but if you wanted to come over after I mean it's up to you you can if you want then here you go Wow look at him he's so busy but he still just wants to see my face so he's telling me I can come over after 10 p.m. no okay what he's doing is he's probably going to go to dinner at 7:30 okay with another girl come home bang you okay and either you go back home or you spend the night Monday morning boom you're out before 8:30 great plan great plan but to you it reads something else you simply forgot the fact that you're the one that had to initiate plans to he didn't even make plans with you he said he was busy till 10:00 p.m. he's working late that night he has a family thing no he just doesn't want to see you to go out with you even worse hopefully that's not the case he doesn't want to send the money so instead he's like come over my place at a time where knowingly what is really open at 10:00 8:00 at 10:00 p.m. for you guys to actually do anything substantial on a Wednesday I'm exposing the game because they get pretty creative and I want you guys to know what's going on when you do things like this this is how you find yourself in situations it's okay where your desire gets ahead of you because you really just yearned for that affection from that person and this is where I start to question the psychology of things where it's like why am I feeling like I want to see this person so bad why do I not feel like I have more things to do or things that I could be working on that I want to spend a lot of my time with this one person and I know secretly but I'm not paying attention to the fact that he may not even be exclusive with me we haven't even discussed any of that at all it just seems like and it feels like because we have intuition as women it just feels like if I continue down this route it will never really go anywhere but I'm hoping that it probably will so I'm gonna keep on keeping on he took you on what three days and now you feel like it's your turn to really just show him how much you appreciate it because he's gone farther than any other guy that you dated before hmm now this is another thing I was talking to one of my friends about this actually yesterday what I was telling her be careful of entering into relationships when you are not at your best because yes you know we all want to date and things of that nature but when you have certain you know holes in areas that need to be filled by you you tend to date people that fulfill the types of voids in yourself for instance if you or someone that is very ambitious and you know naturally we want the best of the best it's human nature and you want to date someone that is successful but really you feel like well that's good I want to be that and I'm hoping that this person could possibly be a crutch in that it's a dangerous spot to be in because we end up depending on that person so much that person sort of becomes our entire happiness that we are not able to actually do the work on ourselves like we thought we would or that we thought we would be assisted in this is why having your own hobbies having your own life is so important because that way you're not waiting around for this person to text you back or anything you were able to clearly see logically this person is not reciprocating the same amount of desire that I am to him and and remember especially in the beginning the desires for men and women are going to be different because a woman can look at a man and say oh my gosh that looks like somebody I would want to marry a guy will look at a woman and say that looks like somebody I want to bang do you understand the motivations are different especially in the beginning so you're leading with that sort of mentality and he's leading with just the banging mentality and you guys are already off on the wrong foot now what I'm saying is knowing what you know or knowing what you know now it's important to identify that not let your desire get in the way of your common sense it's okay to actually desire wanting to get married and things of that nature but you have to make sure that you're not making that so obvious because no one likes desperate people no one likes someone that is so obvious what it is that they want it's unattractive and in addition to that you don't want to start to feed yourself lies of trying to put this person in this category to mold him into what it is that you you desire because he very well might not fit another thing in regards to desire we need to have self-control and I'm not talking about self-control where you're already over his house and you know you're you you know that you will not let him sleep with you because it's anything you will just sleep on the other side of the bed no self-control begins with not even going over his house putting yourself in that position anyway because after a while it all boils down to science silence takes over you're already attracted to this guy men love sleeping with women all the time I mean that just goes without saying and now you don't want to put yourself in a position where you have to even pass up on his advances do you understand what I'm saying that's where the self-control really begins so when you give give give and you turn around and you're just like why do I feel like this person isn't really liking me back it's because you gave more than you received men are not going to just ghost someone that they've invested in emotionally financially and spent months you know dating they're just not typically going to do that because they would look dumb they already put in too much work to just and money to walk away and be like I'm go seeing her they don't have a reason to but when they've done the bare minimum and God forbid it impresses you and you're meeting them at the finish line before they get there all the time now you've become predictable and they know that you're chasing them they know that they don't even have to remember to make plans with you because you're gonna do it anyway you're actually gonna remind them that they need to make plans with you and then conveniently he's never really available in the day except what once every two weeks and he wants to stay local around his house because he wants to shoot back over just so he can get with you all right and you think wow he's despite his busy schedule he's just still making time for me and I know that he's busy so I only think it's fair that I you know kind of meet him halfway we don't need to we don't need to if he really wanted you that bad he would make sure that he's making plans for you it's just like ladies every single time in the beginning guys are so consistent every single time and more than likely we don't reciprocate that in the beginning as much as they do until you go in that first date until we start hanging out with them and then we realized hmm I actually do like this guy so we start reciprocating and just opening up being as wanton as possible to really show them okay I like you back now and then that's where and when we fall off the rails and it's kind of just like all right they did their job already they chased me already and now you're going to chase them for the rest of their relationship no I have said this in a video before it's just this cut and dry if a guy wants to see you he's going to make time to see you if he's thinking about you he's going to text you you ever see somebody and you're talking to them and they are so consistent with speaking to you and you're not really paying attention to them but you do happen to notice that a whole two days goes by and next you know it you haven't spoken to them or they actually haven't spoken to you in a two days timeframe and then you just tap it to shoot them a text for once hey and they respond like a day and a half later saying sorry didn't see this before so you managed to magically not see the one time I text you but every other time before then you were just on it whether I was responding or not he's lying it feels good to be pursued it feels good to be chaste it feels natural to us to be chaste or at least it should so why would you want to relinquish your power to giving up that dynamic and now you're the one doing the chasing this is going to weed them out very easily by you understanding that hey does this person really want me or not what is this person's intentions how long is this person willing to court me invest in me do all these things an effort to actually proving that they really actually do like me like they say men love the challenge of conquering something that is new that's why they're so consistent when they first meet you of constantly communicating with you it's a new challenge another way to know if you were chasing a man is by trying to buy his affection you cannot buy a man's affection okay that is just really sad and if you're doing that you just have to stop because you're going to be looked at as one or two things a mother or a friend and I'm guaranteeing you that you don't want either of those I had a girl that messaged me the other day saying should I financially support my boyfriend and I'm thinking well yeah of course if you want him to take that support and support someone else with it like and I get it like you know we as women it's natural for us to nurture so what we do is we want to meet those guys that are not where they're supposed to be and help bring them up but that's not our job men actually need to fix themselves because they're not going to appreciate you the one that stayed with them in the trenches and you were the rider died they leave the rider guys okay you want someone that's going to cherish you you want someone that's going to be in love with you not love you have love for you by default because you were the rider die you knew what they were like when they had nothing because you're going to be very hurt when he takes this something you help build and build that with someone else you're going to be hurt don't make that mistake well my circumstance is different because he knows that without me he has no place to live and we have that understanding that he would never leave me men are gonna say anything to keep living in your house to keep getting all the benefits cooking cleaning all these things and essentially being your son and your roommate just to keep getting consistent sex from you and they get a place to live do you think that's gonna make him fall in love with you no it's going to make him stay with you until he stacks up which is essentially what he's probably doing cuz he doesn't like to pay for much with you stack up stack up and still leave you when I was 21 I was dating this guy and he hadn't couldn't keep a job nothing and I was 21 at the time and I was paying for dates here and there because I felt bad and I wanted to be understanding and then I quickly learned like ill like what am I actually doing like it was just such a disaster with this person he did not have his life together at all and he was 27 at the time I'm sure that did not make him want to stay per se it was just like wow this girl is you know doing a lot for me so I really appreciate that but then I also quickly learned that he had that dynamic going with a lot of his friends that were girls because there are also exceptions to the rule where there are guys that I mean dare I say it they're comfortable with women actually providing for them and those are the men be stay clear away from because what kind of man is that how can you genuinely respect that what what are you doing for me that I can't already do for myself I don't get it Steve Harvey said in his book asked like a lady think like a man that a man's job is to protect profess and provide it's so simple play by those rules if you already know that that is their job then you do not fulfill those roles amongst the many other things that we ordinarily have to do as women make sure that we take care of ourselves make sure that we keep ourselves looking young you know have babies lose the weight after we have a baby a whole bunch of things clean the house all this stuff if that's the life so that you want but women have more obligations in regular everyday stresses than men do so that's why it's so important to not take over his role now to testing your love for him your desire for him paying his way to do things and trying to protect him and get defensive every time get a phone call from your mom asking what is he doing living with you where is his contribution mom you know nothing about anything you don't know what it's like to really be down for a guy to stay with him now my watch not on my watch I'm not gonna do that in conclusion do not ever ever ever chase any men men never seems to forget that there is no shortage of women but we as women tend to always forget that all the time and put all our eggs in one basket where's your roster and understand that you are the prize they're just sorry in the Bible where I only remember who it was that worked for seven years to marry Rachel and in the end when he worked for those seven years the father gave him the sister instead didn't even give him the one he wanted and then told him well if you actually really do want Rachel you have to work X amount of more years and he did that because he wanted her so bad hello back in the Bible days it's what men do it work to show us why they deserve us so if you are someone that feels like well I don't need a guy to do all these things I could do it for myself Oh equality why do people feel like they need to freeride places well I just automatically know one thing about you 1 you've never experienced someone actually giving you what you deserved 2 you also don't think you deserve it so maybe you're right why should you get it if you don't think that you deserve it it's always people that are living you know just such bitter lives that always want to question other people living happier lives it's always people that are negative that want to just bring you down because misery does love company but genuinely ask yourself why do I get offended by a girl saying that she wants to marry a guy with money why do I get offended because I don't believe in hypergamy why do I get offended because I see this girl going on lavish vacations with a guy and so I'm going to troll her and write on her photo you are a bum you have no job and you just want men to do everything for you you don't see that girl writing on your photo wow you are just disgusting like you were working yourself to the bone you look awful it must be all the bills you're splitting with your man or lack thereof magically I show up on your feed now for you to be such a hard-working woman I mean how did I even end up in your algorithms if you weren't looking for things of luxury now either it is divine connection that God's sending you a sign thing change your mindset or maybe you were actually secretly looking it up on your own you have to understand if you are someone that does the trolling or you have this envy in your heart for people that you feel like don't deserve certain things who are you to tell anyone when they actually don't deserve who are you especially in this matter live your life go work your job and let that other girl that chooses to be taken care of live her own life why is it bothering you it's probably because you wish that you had someone to do the same for you and don't lie to yourself and tell yourself well I like earning everything that I have on my own and I don't ever need anyone to do it for me we all naturally like free things there's a reason why we love sales it doesn't matter if it's you know in Bloomingdale's or in Macy's we love sales it's a natural human instinct to want the best and to preserve ourselves in effort to getting the best as well so that's food for thought I hope I made fun so what that is the end of this video I hope that you angels enjoyed is do not forget to subscribe to this channel share this video with all your friends our next goal is a hundred hey guys ok I know it may seem like we are far but I promise you we're not numbers can shoot up very very fast as we also know on this channel number two do shoot up very very fast so share this content with who you feel like need to see it not everyone's gonna be ready ok but it's your job to plant the seed if you feel like you must and also of course do not forget to follow me on Instagram the detail for the contest are going to be in the description box below guys with that being said I love you and God loves you and I will Steve angels in my next video [Music]

Channel: Asha Christina

Views: 132,088

Rating: 4.9294338 out of 5

Keywords: level up, relationships, relationship advice, advice, beauty, beauty guru, woc, Anna bey, school of affluence, pink pill, red pill, hypergamy, millennial dating, classy, Sophisticated, love, love advice, break up advice, sheraseven1, asherastar, shallop lester, asha c, asha cee, leveling up

Id: -dJ0M2CjdwQ

Length: 27min 50sec (1670 seconds)

Published: Mon Jul 22 2019