YOU'RE The Prize Now Start Acting like it!!!! (Pep Talk)

maybe i should have thought about wearing a white shirt with a white background it's fine bear with me [Music] hello angels welcome back to my channel i have a very fun exciting video i feel very like energetic today like do you like feel my energy hi everybody my name is aisha christina welcome to the a team babe today we are going to be talking about you are the prize so start acting like one i'm trying to shorten my intros so i just want to make sure that i'm not spending too long going into so much stuff so if you guys want to know what hair i'm wearing what makeup i have on it will all be in the description box below along with all of my social media let's get right on into this we've all heard this saying a thousand times over you're the price star acts like it but i don't feel like we really grasp what it actually means so let me hold your hand here come here let me hold your virtual hand and we are going to take a deep dive to exactly what this means number one that's important you want to be a mental challenge okay how much of yourself were you willing to give up because why over compensating lessens a man's respect you cannot show all your cards your best cards and expect not to be taken advantage of because why in a new relationship the bond is particularly shallow so i think that too often we make the mistake of zeroing in on one person and that's how you set yourself up for failure so you remain a challenge by not surrendering to your emotions all the time i don't care how much you want to see this person i don't care how much you want to talk to them all day long because men know when you react emotionally it means that they have the control please like and god this is so much easier said than done especially the older that you become it's like inevitably you sort of cultivate this type of mindset if you are tired of situations happening over and over again that they have been happening you inevitably come this way where you know okay if i act on my emotion here and i start messaging him all day long and wondering where he's been you can think about him all day long if you really want to but don't show it don't be afraid to lose any guy this is crucial in understanding that you are the prize and i also want to say this fundamentally and i said this to my brother too and he agreed as a man men really get with who they can we as the woman have choice power men get with who they can women get with who they want you choose a guy ninety percent of the work if it were to be intimately is already done he's gonna say okay let's go do this and how many times are they really declining things anyway really let's be honest here not often don't think that being super honest and oversharing in the name of not playing games is gonna guarantee you a relationship and also you know while i'm at it here because i didn't put this disclaimer out there i want to make a disclaimer a blanket disclaimer that everything that i discuss in this video in future videos in my past videos is all circumstantial my word is not gold these are my viewpoints based on research that i've done based on you know life experience an amalgam of different things but nonetheless my perspective mainly and by no means am i saying that my way is the way um i am not the way the truth and the life god is shout out to him so you are not forced to follow my advice you don't have to follow my advice but i do thank you for listening and i do thank you for watching you don't have to do anything that i say to do hey you could just be watching me because you think i'm funny you could be watching me because you think i look funny either way mwah love to the both of you i think that at the end of the day just understand that i am very well aware of the fact that you don't have to listen to my advice now let's get back on into this you are the prize he approached you notice every time a relationship starts where you barely pay the guy any mind and it feels like he's all over you and the second that you even merely reciprocate a percentage of that interest back to him you start to feel like you're chasing him and to a lot of us it's mind-boggling it's like wait what happened here i can assure you that you are not well no they're not but this is just how the game goes okay this is how it goes when you put so much effort into a situation without someone working for it they will devalue it and in most cases guys will just assume that you're desperate or that you're just this way with everyone so it's not special to him so understand if he has a problem with your standards what it takes to get you and your confidence then that's his problem not yours don't be afraid to lose any guy and this goes even for my ladies that are doing online dating um which you know i normally never advocate for but you know we're in this pandemic and dating is just it's a stretch right now there aren't many places that you can go yes places have opened up again but to me not that it's impossible of course because everything is circumstantial like i say but dating online is still dating online and that's on that on that on that on that and that you can talk to a guy on tinder on bumble on wherever they're going these days luxy and you have to understand that you can establish a you know connection with someone so you think on the internet and all of a sudden this guy just never messages you again and you're just very confused on why he even bothered so we get so wrapped up in someone just interrupting you know our piece what we really need to understand is that the bond is shallow like actually write this down the bond there's no depth to the connection that you guys have genuinely made and because of that you have to understand that this person is not really putting much thought into how their actions is directly affecting you which is why it shouldn't be personalized so i completely understand that it's annoying like don't step in my space if you're not prepared to handle what i come with but that's why it's better to also have the variety of also having a roster because it's like okay if one guy slips off okay whatever like who even cares like i'm a quality queen anyway it's not gonna bother me next one be selective with your time i'm not always there when you call oh wait no that's not a good that's not a good reference aisha that's not oh my god this is embarrassing give me a second i don't have another song but when i do i will sing it be selective with your time and don't always give your all and beg him to be yours sometimes you're available sometimes you're not simple so this shows that you have your own life as you should what's happening and this keeps things interesting so what this emphasizes is that he does not have a hold on you and you're not about to sit here and pop out at 2 am delivering yourself to him like uber eats we're done because why remember this familiarity breeds contempt and predictability breeds boredom and this is why guys just fall to face of the earth sometimes and of course there are instances a lot of instances actually which is just all the more confusing where because we don't have the full story we don't have enough data that we're collecting we look at a situation that happens that makes absolutely no sense and we just we have nothing other than to gather like oh why did this happen so we're obsessing over the answers that we don't have when sometimes it's just so easy to forget that he's acting in his own best interest there's always a reason it may feel random to you but it's not to him he could have just found another girl he could have been you know getting back with an ex like you never really know so just try your best to not personalize these things i also want to emphasize don't pretend to be busy like actually be busy i mean there's so many things to do in life i mean i i always used to say to this i used to be so you know sad because i just used to think oh my god i wish i was bored like i wonder what being bored actually feels like because i feel like all my life i've always had something to do i don't know that's just me i've always just felt like i had something to do you know and i also have i don't know i always keep myself occupied i am either playing sudoku which i actually haven't played in a long time so maybe not the best example okay i have a lot of books on my ipad my iphone i love to read i'm an avid reader it's like stepping into another dimension and i really enjoy it nonetheless there's so many different things you can do all the time whether that's a new hobby whether that's watch a youtube video watching this video hey oh while you're at it give this video a thumbs up i love you but anyways like i said there are so many other things that you can actually do with your life that you genuinely don't have to pretend to be busy i think sometimes that message gets lost in translation when uh you hear people say or if you hear me say to actually not be available all the time because a lot of us are really you know usually willing to shape-shift our schedule all the time because we really want to hang out with somebody and we're missing the fact that i told you guys last year to have a roster of oster and you guys are still obsessing over one person make it make sense stop okay maybe you actually can't stop but just don't let it show like i i know it's so hard but this is where the actual work comes in you have to master controlling your emotions and how you feel because i promise you you're not going to win that way or okay let me not maybe you know maybe i don't want to use the word win but you guys figuratively understand what it is that i'm saying if you want to be able to obtain you know that relationship then you cannot always be available because you don't want you know to lose that mystery the more time you spend with someone you're creating a bond with them and a lot of that mystery does die down because you are spending so much time with someone you're getting to know them inside and out and yes arguably there are so many different things that you can learn about someone you can't learn all of them in a certain time span however have the understanding that people do show you sides of themselves that they want you to see and in the beginning stages of a relationship it's always going to seem flawless and i think that a lot of the time we give credit to fish for swimming oh my god he opened the door for me he's such a gentleman he like literally opened the door for me like when i was getting out of the car like i usually never stop giving credit to fish for swimming let me just leave that right there embrace the uncertainty what do i mean by that who cares if he calls yes that's what i said who cares if he calls even if he calls you and schedules a day and doesn't call you then who cares let people do what they want to do so you can see what they would rather do how can you with a job a roster and friends and hobbies care about whether one person is calling you especially if it's a brand new dynamic how how can you how can you have the time to care about that that's the thing that we as women do we can maintain so many different things we are multitaskers we are so strong we are so amazing and a guy comes into our lives and we all of a sudden don't know how to behave we're eliminating all the things all the passions we are just setting everything aside for this individual when they nine times out of ten have not earned the right nor does anyone really reserve the right to enable you to surrender all of your life to them in you know a way where you're you no longer have a career you no longer are doing these things because you're following you know that person i think if anything the right person that comes along enables you to maintain your own independence and individuality you are not concerned with where this relationship is going yes i actually said that you are not necessarily concerned because when you focus so much on where it's going because naturally as women that's what we do how is this person going to fit into my life am i wasting my time i don't want to waste my time especially in 2020 i don't want to waste my time i don't feel like having another person in my life a lot of this comes from us planning our lives around people who don't even know if they're going to call us back the next day i'm sorry but that's really the reality please believe me when i tell you that if there is a destination you will know if this relationship is going somewhere you will know a guy will tell you because guys don't want to keep the woman of their dream as women they want off the market they don't that's why so many times so many different instances we see guys that will waste a girl's time for x amount of years x amount of months okay and then he'll go jump right to the next girl and do all the great and fabulous things for the next chick in a way shorter time span he knew no matter how short of a time it took this is what i want this is what i want the relationship to be this is where i see the relationship going you need to be in your own world and enjoy it let him try and scramble to figure out where you are when you're gonna pick up the phone and and even if you will pick up the phone and be very careful of these temperamental man babies yeah man babies that start to ghost you because you didn't answer their call so now they want to act mad stop stop throwing the tantrum that is a data point who cares don't let that person's reaction manipulate you now into chasing him to prove that no no no no no i am interested um okay sorry first of all we're adults here this is like a this is a basic human psychology data point here where i feel like okay if i have to be scared of like not picking up your call because i'm doing something you can feel it it's an intuitive feeling where you can feel like okay this person's acting distant because i'm not available all the time instead of just understanding that maybe she just actually has her own life and this makes me want her more instead you're like trying to ghost and and be all weird because you want to prove a point of well i'm upset that you didn't answer when i don't fall for that please a word for someone don't fall for that when you just met someone it is not normal to get all bent out of shape if you didn't hear from them for the day or they didn't call to check in it's just it's not normal let him do whatever he wants to do don't generate behavior expectations in this manner so soon just log the data mentally now that's not to say don't pay attention to the stuff that he's doing balance people because sometimes i always feel like i have to defend the other side because some people just take what you say and they just take it so literally and you know they just can't differentiate when you're trying to be literal and when you're not it's just oh balance people don't try to have these types of expectations as i've said where you're like oh my god why don't you call me back i literally don't understand he literally was hitting me up all day yesterday and like today he's not so like i don't know did i like is it because like i took three hours to answer him because i was at work is it because i actually have stuff to do no it's not you can't run away something that really really wants you someone that really really wants you how many times have we liked not liked a guy and it just did not deter him no matter what no matter how many dms of his that you have ignored and left on red and he still has messaged you it didn't deter him you can't deter someone that actually really wants to be with you stop over compensating doing too much is doing too much literally what i said a guy has to earn your devotion earn your commitment yeah not we are earning their commitment no no no he has to earn our commitment let's reframe that now in 2020. you're gonna earn my commitment i'm no longer interested in whether or not i'm proving to you whether or not i'm worthy of being with no you're going to show me that you're worthy of being with me that's what's going to happen here i know that i'm capable of being a commitment i mean jesus it's practically human nature for women i'm just saying he has to earn your time he has to earn your affection so you cannot sustain interest by doing the most the peak was reached there's nothing else to aspire to want we've seen all that we need to see here people he's done and sometimes cause this happens too sometimes he hasn't seen anything sometimes you haven't even slept with him you just went on a couple dates and he disappeared and you know what that means hey it wasn't for you but you know what's gonna happen they always come back so don't feel inclined to be like hey just suddenly you know i haven't heard from you in like two weeks so like what's up with that like why did you waste my time like we were literally talking for like a month like why why won why like why no let people do whatever they want to do if he tries to come back into your life then after that because they always do the ball's in your court now so you can play things how you want to play it and let them know that wasn't cool what you did okay and speak up for yourself however if you don't hear a word from that individual randomly hitting them up out of the blue to let them know that they offended you when they know i'm pretty sure they know that they've ghosted you but it wasn't important for them to give you a heads up right because that's what ghosting is it's not about hey just letting you know i am not going to be speaking to you in like about a week from now i'm literally gonna like disappear at the face of the earth and i'm gonna resurface again in the next six months they're not gonna do that okay and at the end of the day like this is just how dating is in 2020 you have to play by these rules so of course i want to add there are always exceptions to these rules but they are significantly disproportionate to the masses where doing the most and even getting with a guy on the first date is going to lead to a relationship i'm sorry it's disproportionate to the masses say whatever you want to say sue me it is what it is now back to what i was saying and for those of you that get up in arms about ugh we have to do so much to accommodate men i beg to defer here if you think about it when the game is played correctly you're not you're not accommodating guys they're actually accommodating you so if some of you feel like this is a lot of mental gymnastics which it probably will feel like because it's a new concept maybe to some of you you have to put in the work here a little bit just so that you can have the understanding so that you don't have to keep putting yourself out there because more than likely i mean you're either doing one or two things you're either getting played or not there's no in between here you you are or you aren't you know so if you're the type person that thinks oh i'm gonna go the extra mile and cooking you know a really nice homemade dinner even though we met last month and went on two dates let me tell you something that man is going to enjoy that meal enjoy you if it gets to that point and still leave because it could translate to the guy is yeah she's kind of desperate like we're two three dates in and she's already cooking me a home-cooked meal and you could be thinking i just want to show him that i'm the wife type and all the and he it's it doesn't read the same to men he didn't do anything to earn being treated like a husband so so why are you showing him that you're a wife who gave him this title here you did what what's reel it in i'm scared and then you have the girls that over share because they don't want to play games while they're usually getting played it's okay and there was a quote i read it was in a book that i read a while back and it said think of a man's psyche like a plant it needs water but it also needs air to breathe so giving reassurance is like over watering a plant it kills it think about that so in conclusion let the guy miss you yes it's true absence does make the heart grow fonder never over share keep him on his toes never compare yourself to other women ever competing with other women is pointless you are you and you are in your own lane you are the prize if he doesn't like the rules or do what it takes to get you oh well life goes on there are way too many options in the world to be stuck on one and men understand that concept so i think it's time that we adapt that same concept that's all i'm saying that's all i'm saying keep that rostrust roster if you have not seen my video on how to get a roster you might want to click that that will definitely be somewhere on the screen with that being said angels do not forget that i love you and god loves you and i'll see you guys in my next video the bond is shallow [Music] hello [Music] that just reminded me of that and that had nothing to do with proving my point but it had the word shallow in it

Channel: Asha Christina

Views: 324,077

Rating: 4.9614873 out of 5

Keywords: quality queen, quality queen control, Feminine, Femininity, personal development, law of attraction, purpose, finding your purpose, motivation, motivational speech, school of affluence, loa, Relationships, relationship coach, life coach, Level up, Glow up, dating coach for women, Life coach, Modern dating coach

Id: gLYdUmxWCjY

Length: 21min 10sec (1270 seconds)

Published: Sun Aug 23 2020