Why Homer Simpson Might Be God - After Hours

[Music] and lead us not into pointless reboots but deliver us from prequels for thine is the Iron Throne the one true ring and the Phoenix down for endless Extra Innings Batman Batman [Music] Sauron you uh didn't say Batman I'm sorry I I just have to say even though we've never mentioned it before we do this weird nerd prayer thing before every meal and I don't know as a jock of faith I have to say I'm often offended buddy we put the Extra Innings thing in there for you that's a sports thing you think I wanted that in there no I had this reference to an obscure Broadway musical Oh buddy you know that's not why I'm you're dominating the religious thought of the table what if I was I don't know Shinto god I would love that do you know Shinto grace do Shinto say grace I don't know Protestant obviously sorons right we should have been taking turns to respect everyone's beliefs I'll go this time but we are Homer who arted Moe's hallo be thy brain the ID of them come Thy will be done in Springfield as it is in Shelbyville explain oh [ __ ] what Liam Messiah Homer Simpson is the ultimate being ageless deathless in a constant state of spiritual growth yet with the optimism and present focus of a bodhisattva nam yo ho ringing yo you just made yourself a powerful enemy yeah I guess I'm more powerful than God no he said I was talking about a real religion he can't say Homer is ageless because he's a cartoon character that's a cop-out hey you're the one that pointed out that he lives thousands of years into the future and in that scene it's clear that Smithers and burns only survived thanks to cyborg ISM Homer not only thrives as he is but multiplies and let's go the other direction there is a scene in season two that is set in Bible times a scene not a flashback not a vision not a dream sequence real scene in ancient times and Homer is there oh good evening home with a thief and not only that but Homer is the only character that we recognize so that means that Homer was really there surrounded by all these people who are long since dead acting talking and being the same homer 2000 years ago also other people definitely do die so death is a possibility in this world even if it is just a cartoon ASA Phelps in season 2 dies by holding onto a grenade for too long and then again in season 11 triggering the flying healthy stunt team and Gladys dies in the Deaf garden episode okay for the record I still object to all of this but did you guys ever notice that Frank had a wife and kid his kid clearly dies in a drone accident and then his wife splits I think because we never hear about you know them after that one moment just like my son here oh dear my wife is going to kill me grandpa's girlfriend B died of a burst ventricle but I know he died of a broken heart and yet Homer who has had multiple heart attacks and at least one open-heart surgery doesn't even have a scar now under heart attacks you crossed out three and wrote zero oh I thought they'd said brain hemorrhages jokes done no wait three that's the first case I've ever seen of a man suffering four simultaneous heart attacks which is weird when you consider the crusties pacemaker scar has been consistently drawn in ever since it was a stab real crusty that pacemaker sparked clearly homers got healing factor that's why his beard pops back whenever he she moves as a baby's behind papa also well he has no concept of death when his mom dies Homer wants to water the ashes to bring her back that's the kind of idea you come up with if you can't die or feel pain he does take a lot of punishment [Music] dad you didn't even say ouch oh sorry oh that's very Christie hashtag still offended counter hashtag Christ II the climb yeah but guys this is all cartoon bidness okay taking physical punishment is so common in animation it can't possibly be a power Homer is not special just cuz he survives injuries that would kill live-action Homer Oh James Gandolfini John Goodman Jabberjaw Daniel day-lewis the world is ready for a method Homer I think it's all relative though Homer can withstand a lot more punishment than any of the other characters did Bart the general Bart has injuries that seem real and have lasting consequences dad I need help Bob you can't go on like this we know same with Barton prints in the soap box derby trials son you're looking to be alive Oh miss again and yet former can fall 20 feet and then get up and do a dance number or fall down a flight of stairs and then get up and give a high-five in the next scene or the ultimate God himself he tours Homer around heaven and says he's got six months to live what's the meaning of life you'll find out when you die I can't wait that long you can't wait six months don't even if we assume that every episode of The Simpsons represents one day let's say of their life which is being conservative there are a few strong clues to suggest that it takes place in real time don't worry by it seems like every week something odd happens to the census cuz that's the kind of guy I am this week the following takes place between 234 p.m. and 304 p.m. any way you slice it it's been at least a couple of years since God and Homer talked and Homer is still alive he eats poison fish that's supposed to kill him and it just doesn't plays on 24 hours to live 24 hours well 22 I'm sorry I kept you waiting so long no explanation just fails to kill him he falls down a cooling tower while nonchalantly screaming see you tomorrow drinks barbicide and outloud asked why he can't die oh why doesn't anything kill me but simple immortality is not why homers the one true God I mean unkillable ness is like the minimum prerequisite of godhood no homers real power is mind control and being the center of the universe I'm our son sisters right mom is gone let's all go into our suspended state till he gets back and accomplishing every dream goal and ambition he has while still maintaining enough struggle in his life to provide room for spiritual growth explaining first of all Frank Grimes was right more Crimea's he liked the big old Homer's resume would make Forrest Gump dead do something stupid problem you know I've had a lot of jobs boxer Ascot astronaut imitation crusty farmer inventors Gucci celebrity assistant power plant worker fortune cookie writer beer Baron kwik-e-mart Clerk homophobe and missionary and his greatest joy in life Marge is constantly returning to him because of streets that she drives down that serendipitously guilt trip her into forgiveness I mean he's achieved his life's dream several times and yet he always has another life stream that had to look forward to as you know it's been my lifelong dream to become a blackjack dealer your lifelong dream was to be a contestant on the gong show and you did it in 1977 remember your lifelong dream was to run out on the field during a baseball game man you did it last year remember your boyhood dream was to eat the world's biggest Hoey and you get it at the county fair last year remember hang on I thought you were opposed oh no no I'm on board now but just to be clear I'm not endorsing the religion just the topic of discussion all right well somebody's got to oppose I flipped a few minutes back and ideas don't matter if they're not in conflict oh don't worry heretics will be dealt with in time fear Maggie of the pistil have a mallet uh all opposed so Homer is incredibly lucky granted don't I get some kind of trophy and the person who travelled the least distance to be here and a big award ceremony home Oh son son Homer Simpson oh my god over Simpson oh my god why double stars everybody win Bumi yeah sure Wow in fact I think he explicitly says that he's gotten everything he's ever auditioned why do I succeed in everything I auditioned for her and his prayers come true odd if you really are God you'll get me tickets to that game hi the Leo neighbor and whenever he relies on something magical like a wishbone it always turns out to be real okay ready take it out boys my magic pen I don't know if all that adds up to omnipotence if Homer is God he clearly doesn't know yeah but isn't that the greatest setup God knows he's gone and that's the burden he has to be responsible for all the tragedies in the universe in a way the sweetest gig would be to be all powerful but still think of yourself as an everyday soaring just trying to make it examples Homer often gets guidance at the perfect moment from a higher power TV why don't you call right now he's happy is a smoker ticking at first puffs in the morning that could be Lisa good thing it turned on that TV Lisa I didn't turn it on I thought you turned it on no well anyway turn it off he's off cool what about his job he hates his job and his family is constantly broke farts family is poor we're in a study about that money doesn't make you happy or beyond a certain point there's a perfect income bracket for the average American family and anything above that Moe money causes more problems yeah it was like $75,000 I think wait what is the nuclear safety inspector me it ranges depending on what site you use and what search terms you use but if you take an average of the $75,000 more like a mean of 78 five of course if you want something done right it doesn't always come quickly so your dad said when you're conceived is that are you implying that my dad is long lasting in bed to my shame oh yeah I guess I am sorry I meant the reverse here teaming up again about how things take longer to the point is who says God would be rich right mr. burns is rich and he's miserable take a look at her homers long-lost brother I mean he's been both rich and homeless and he's been miserable in both states the only time he's been happy is the short period where he lived in the Simpsons house and his boss never remembers who he is no matter how many times he pulls up which leads to a pretty stress-free life mister me with this gastropod Simpson sorry one of your chair moist nurse from sector 7g one of your organ banks from sector 7g harken spoon operators from sector 7g with a lazy spoon who was that coups Homer Simpson sir one of the finest bravest men ever to grace sector 7g oh why it's it's a it's it weights Fred Flintstone and his lovely wife Wilma trust me I know Jack still calls me Candace I guess except that one time your boss forgetting your name sends you into a rage Spyro if there's this piece that's shaking me and Daniels on board all right religious conversion score three for three all right full conversion I don't know what I did to make you think you converted me but I'm sorry I did I'll expect you all to attend to baptism and doughnut batter at the bowling alley this Sunday 8:00 7:00 central it's bBYO nacho hat oh okay I call sang grace for that oh yeah well blasphemous joke of a faith to you practice Our Lady Firefly of serenity a base Windu ism doctor Judaism oh oh uh Star Trek Church I was born a snake handler and I'll die a snake handler yeah good nice solid moe reference no reference I actually handled snakes okay yeah sounds good Candace what do you bring them in I got Tupperware I don't know where a sack that gets the wrong thing to say to a snake Hamza hi everybody thank you for watching that video please like and subscribe as always also before you do any of that close down the video reopen it so we get the extra view whoo double views all the way across the board uh-huh keep doing that all day and you're putting sauron's get to college this is money this is money

Channel: Cracked

Views: 2,254,931

Keywords: God, Religion, Simpsons Religion, After Hours, Cracked, Cracked.com, The Simpsons, Homer Simpsons, Marge, Bart Simpsons, Lisa Simpsons, animation, cartoons, funny, spoof, humor, sketch, comedy, parody, Cracked's After Hours, Daniel O'Brien, Michael Swaim

Id: Ta3rjuAv9eA

Length: 13min 17sec (797 seconds)

Published: Mon Dec 19 2016