(sign buzzes)
(upbeat music) - Wow. I can't believe he's almost two already. Show Katie the other one. - I mean, I don't wanna go on and on, but this is after I
finished building his crib, and I caught him after he
fell asleep with my hammer. - Oh my God, Soren, I can't tell you how cool
it is to watch you be a dad! - Thank you, Katie. Yeah, it's really amazing. It's like the hero of the story-- - I'll be back. (mimics gunfire and explosion) - Great. - Oh, I'm sorry, I've confused you. I'm the Terminator. - Oh.
- Oh wow, there you are. - What's your target?
Meaningful conversation? - What are we talkin' about? - Actually, Michael,
we were kind of talking about important real life stuff. - Oh, like how every
Arnold Schwarzenegger movie actually takes place within
the Terminator universe? (sighs) - Hasta la vista, Baby. (gun fires)
(shattering) - Be honest, did you just
dress like Terminator to force your topic on us? - Dan told me to. - I believe that you believe that-- - So we agree-ish! Point the first! Arnold plays every character
like the Terminator in every movie regardless
of where or when it is set. - Okey dokes, let's not
conflate limited acting ability and an incredibly persistent accent with playing the same character, okay. Lots of actors have perpetual quirks, and we're totally fine with it! Keanu Reeves is always
this emotionally dense dude running on island time, and Tom Cruise just can't stop running, and Al Pacino's always like weirdly happy with how mad he is. - Gimme all you got! - But Arnold's characters literally have all the same terminatorial beats. He's always an obsessed,
barely back-storied, semi-slaughtering maniac who's thrust bicep-deep into a problem that only a combination of explosions, fist fights and gunfights can solve. He even says the same lines in totally different movies when it doesn't make sense. - I'll be back. I'll be back. I'll be back. I'll be back. I'll be back. I'll be back. - You've been back enough. - Plus, he's constantly performing supernatural feats of strength, even in the movies where
he's just supposed to be some dude with muscles. - Mm, in Predator, he physically pushes a semi-truck stacked with explosives into an insurgent base camp. - He dead lifts a whole car in Twins. Just hoists that (bleep) sky high like it's three K enrollment costs. - But Twins, they try
to explain that away. He's genetically
engineered with six fathers who all combine to make
like a super sperm, I guess. Man, the 90s were super
ignorant about genes. - Yeah, if we're gonna talk
about genetic ignorance, can we please talk about Junior? Okay, there's no way that Arnie
is the Terminator in that. He's just this slightly
grumpy Austrian scientist who decides to inject himself with a baby and then Mrs. Doubtfire his
way through his third trimester at a commune with a bunch of women who can't even tell that he's a man. It's incredibly offensive. - That's true! Danny DeVito skips so many crucial steps in the prenatal journey. - Guys, relax. They're fake! Okay? All the movies are fake. Get it? - Is your argument today
that movies are fake? - All the movies that Arnie has made are just simulations that
Skynet's running the T-800 through to expose its faulty programming since it failed to kill Sarah
Connor in Terminator one. I mean, Arnold's IMDB
page may as well just be a menu on the machines' holodeck. Which, for the sake of my
argument, let's assume they have. - Ooh, that's interesting.
- That's pretty plausible. - Nobody just assumes my
holodecks into existence. - Okay, so in your mind, the chronology of Arnie's movies goes Terminator one, and then a bunch of simulations,
and then Terminator 2? - Right, exactly. Think about it, half of his movies are fundamentally motivated
by some vague personal loss of a loved one or family member that totally justifies two
hours of indiscriminate murder. In some movies we barely
even meet the victims. The story is always
secondary to the mayhem that Arnie has to cause. - Commando, Predator, Batman and Robin, Sixth Day, Collateral Damage. Wow, even Conan the Barbarian starts with James Earl Jones
murdering Conan's mother with his glam stare. - Right! But why? Because when the Terminator failed to kill a single, unarmed woman even using vastly superior technology, Skynet knew it had to find the
source of that malfunction. So it runs the T-800
through a bunch of scenarios where it's failed its objective, but it has to roll with the situation and get the kill anyway. Skynet is trying to isolate their error. - Ooh, there's also a whole
bucket of Arnold movies where he's just discovering that the world that he thought he lived
in isn't totally real. It's like the simulation
seams are showing. - Oh, that's true! In Total Recall, it's just
this Inception-ass dreamscape, and by the end of it, you can't even tell if any of it actually happened. And then in Last Action Hero, he discovers that his whole
world is actually a movie. The Running Man's gameshow is just this Hunger Gamesian death trap where all the winners end
up getting killed offscreen and only Arnie knows about it. Plus there's Predator again if we assume that Arnie doesn't believe
that aliens are a thing. - Predator actually makes
more sense as a simulation. Why would you have this
unrelated alien hunter invade a random counter insurgency op? Doesn't it make more sense, and at least double the awesome, if Predator is actually a
complicated death puzzle that the T-800 has to beat! - Ah, and that scene with Carl Weathers and Arnold Schwarzenegger
shaking hands finally adds up. The T-800 hears Carl Weathers's voice, clearly scans him with his robot vision, and then tries to execute a
convincing human greeting. It does not go well. - What about Kindergarten Cop? - What about it? John Kimble's
obviously a Terminator. His outfit and tactics are
hardly standard police procedure. (rock music)
(guns fire) Well, they're extreme police procedure. - But Arnold spends the rest of that movie hanging out with a bunch of kids so he can earn the trust of a woman and a little boy that he has to protect. That's literally the opposite of what a Terminator is supposed to do. There's a whole bunch of
movies where Arnold is paired with a woman, and or a child, and or Danny DeVito to protect them. Twins, True Lies, Jingle All the Way-- - Oh, that's right! Arnold doesn't kill Jake
Lloyd even once in that movie! (gun fires) God, it'd be so much cooler if he did. - Dude, you're a father. - Yeah, and I don't
want to introduce my son to a young Anakin Skywalker that's just a Lego-hair
bowl cut on a fence post. - Hi, okay, no one has still
explained to me Junior though, 'cause that's definitely
not Terminator in a dress. Somebody justify Junior! (sighs) - Okay, real talk. Guys, I haven't seen Junior. And I didn't probably think
this through all the way, but I just, you know, I
wanted to have something to contribute. And there's this pressure
on me to perform, right? You know, 'cause I'm the funny guy. And you guys have all
these great insights, and just things are not
going well at home-- - Oh my God, Daniel, fix this. - I don't-- - You pop culture this problem
away right this instant. - The machines aren't
running the simulation, the humans are. - Okay. But wait, you're saying
the humans have access to advanced robotic simulation and they're not reprogramming
them for butt stuff? (chuckles) - So you're saying that if
the humans have the T-800, then they're reprogramming it to save John Connor in Terminator 2? So that just means that
all of Arnie's movies are prequels to T2. - Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, that checks out. Arnold's using his
superhuman killing ability to save people that he would
ordinarily be trying to kill. That's why he's protecting
his wife in True Lies, and trying to rescue
Alyssa Milano in Commando. - It's literally empathy training. They make him pregnant in Junior so he can experience female biochemistry, then in Twins, they give him
a biological relationship to this troubled car thief, so he's gotta help him out, and in exchange, learn the power of sex! (gasps) Then in Kindergarten Cop, he learns not to kill kids! 'Cause you're they're teacher! You're legally liable, and it's bad to kill kids. That's his training ground for how to interact with John Connor. - Even his overt action movies are sort of like empathy training. With Predator, and Conan, and Eraser he's going up against an
enemy that is much bigger, badder, and more technically
capable than he is. He's learning what it's like for a human to interact with and fight a Terminator. - They also give him simulations where he's already failed his
mission at saving a family, like Batman and Robin
and Collateral Damage. He's learning the pain of loss. It's like aversion therapy for AI. - Oh, wow! He even learns self-sacrifice
in the simulations. In End of Days, he ends up sacrificing himself for Robin Tunney. - Yeah, and clearly, the training works. By the end of T2, this emotionless robot learns how to feel things right before he lowers himself down into self-sacrifice and destruction. He even tries a human greeting at the end. (dings) - It does not go well. - But otherwise, the humans
thought of everything. They trained him in every aspect of John and Sarah Connor's experience to ensure that he's able to
protect them from the T-1000. They even train him to take
orders (bleep) little kids so he learns how to listen to John Connor. - You just can't go around killing people! - Why? - What do you mean why? 'Cause you can't. - That's Jingle all the
Way, Last Action Hero, and Kindergarten Cop. - Kids really do teach you humility. - Okay. - I said kids really-- - Dude, the moment passed. - You guys can't look at pictures of my kids for 10 minutes? I had to hire a babysitter to be here. - So you needed a sitter
and you didn't think of me. - Michael, you can't babysit my child. - You're the one who lets
him sleep with a hammer. - That's fair. - Besides, I have to
pay my costume designer back for this, all right? I need the money. That's my trouble at home. And this guy is hardcore, he's gonna break my muscle frames. That's what I call my arms. - I'll tell you what, I will pay you to not babysit my child. Does that work for you? - How would fridge
privileges work, if that's-- can I enter the house to access snacks? - No, but I will bring
you some Otter Pops, but only orange. - Point of order, you own a house but you can't
afford that leather jacket? - Hi, thank you for watching this video! - There's a C in the middle. If you click it, you
subscribe to our channel. C for subscribe. There's videos to the
side, one of the sides. And then there's the bell. Tell them about the bell, Katie. - If you click the bell, then you get notified
anytime we post a new video. - That's what the bell does.
