What's Your "Well That Escalated Quickly" Story?

a fruit cut landed me in front of several police with guns drawn read it what are your best well that escalated quickly stories I used to work really early in the morning as UPS and was giving a co-worker a ride to work every day I would leave my house at around 3:30 a.m. or so and pick him up from the next town over he would wait for me in the middle of a deserted Main Street so one morning I'm going through my normal routine I get to the street and don't see him I pull over at where I usually pick him up from and wait at this point I'm just looking around because I didn't actually know which house he lived in after a few minutes he comes out from an alley and said he had to take a pee and didn't want to go back upstairs to wake his girlfriend no worries so I pull out onto the road and start heading to work as soon as I start making the turn off the main street I see a patrol car file to the road in my review I continued on thinking nothing of it until I see another one approached from the opposite direction of the road I'm on I take the next right on the road which happens to be my normal route for getting out of this crap town halfway down the street both patrol cars swing behind me so I begin to pull over I get frickin boxed and with guns held at their sides not drawn at me I roll down my window with a big WTF on my face I explained we're going to work etc then they start asking my passenger what he's holding and actually draw their weapons officer what's in your left hand passenger my socks he had extra socks in case it was cold or some crap officer what's in your right hand passenger in the most please don't freaking shoot me voice every banana all in all pretty awesome the officer said they were looking for a robbery suspect on foot in town it's him guys the banana sock strangler out of the car I was sitting at an outdoor cafe dude I kind of know comes up and sits with me and person I was chatting with I'm not really paying attention drinking my tasty drink dude gets out a thing which turns out to be a lighter in the shape of a tiny gun and starts taking it apart fixing it or refilling it or something apparently there's an armored car across the street they apparently somehow get a glimpse of the tiny gun lighter call police and before I know what's up we've all got guns in our faces angry police shouting at us not to move and are being pushed down on the sidewalk dude is cuffed and searched then let go me and other personal it up shaking to return to our spilled drinks it wasn't awesome , my son got in a fight enough to school daycare and got a black eye next morning I was at work and my wife could not get him to go to school because he was too embarrassed the other kids would make fun of him for losing a fight my wife calls me frantically and I am at work with no time to deal with it I told her to tell him to just say the other kid was much bigger so no one could blame him for getting beat up next thing I know I get to call from the police my son told the school an adult had attacked him and they believed him and called the cops when the cops talked to my son he told them he had made it up because his mother told him to say that the cops called her and she told them I told her to tell him that so the cops assumed I had beat him and told him to lie about it so I told the cops the story and they called the daycare and fortunately the same worker who was there when my son got in the fight happened to be on duty and was able to tell the cops what really happened chances are if she had not been there to take that call the other daycare workers would have known nothing about this insignificant fight and I would have been arrested for child abuse it's lame but a friend of mine and I skipped class back when we were in HS we decided to go hang out in the handicap stall and talk since she was having a crappy day while we got caught and sent to the principal's office and both questioned and searched apparently the $2 of lunch money I owed her was left on the ground and they thought it was a drug deal when they asked me if the $2 was for drugs I respond it will tell me what decent drugs can I buy for two dollars it wasn't the answer they were looking for had same accusation leveled at me for seeing a friend in the hallway at school and shaking hands teacher had watched too much TV and claimed we had passed drugs with a secret handshake and what a fricking idiot I tried tossing an Oreo cookie in a friend's mouth during lunch freshman year of high school by almost got suspended for attempting to instigate a food fight my friend did a backflip off the stage at a graduation rehearsal because everyone knew he could do one so the entire class chanted for one the principal almost didn't let him walk out real graduation one day I was working I work from home and hear a knock on my front door I open guy explains he is from Child Protective Services and I invite him in he explains to me that they have been sent to investigate my home because of an incident at the school but is being very vague about it asks me if I knew about the weapon my child brought to school next thing I know he's holding a ten-inch his breads knife covered with tape and cardboard I guess to make it safer for them to carry it around it most definitely was one of my kitchen knives and my wife turned beet red when she saw it what turns out she was cleaning her car and saw the knife in the floorboard where she had taken a cake to her great-grandmother for her birthday picked it up to get it out of the floor and what better place to put it them inside my five-year-olds backpack which he took to school the next day everything turned out okay with CPS TLDR my wife concealed weapons in our five-year-olds backpack I was taking photos of my friends band playing a gig at a festival as they finish and I give them a hand packing down I noticed that it's Taylor Hawkins from Foo Fighters other band playing next so I sneaked myself a little spot to sit at the side of the stage next thing I know Dave Grohl Josh Homme and John Paul Jones all came and sat next to me I nearly crapped and came simultaneously not sure how I would react to meeting a Zeppelin member probably would just explode on the spot I was at lunch in high school like seven years ago or something eating with a friend of mine he had one of those subdermal hearing aids because his hearing was pretty bad he always caught a lot of crap for it because high schoolers are fricking horrible creatures this guy comes up to him and starts talking crap at first I thought the guy was a friend of his and just freaking with him but I learned later he'd been tormenting him like all day and throughout the school year anyway he says something my friend doesn't like my friend flips the freaking table over I just managed to save my sandwich with my lightning quick reflexes and just starts beating the crap out of the guy I would have helped him out off principle and everything but honestly he looks like he had that crap covered and I had a delicious chicken sandwich to finish off it turns out he did indeed love that crap covered the guy was a known troublemaker so my friend got off with a minor punishment my friend actually managed to rip a chunk of his afro out and made him cry and that's why you don't flick with the disabled he wasn't mentally disabled you guys he just had hearing problems coma I imagine you eating your chicken sandwich and smiling whilst thinking well I never focus iliyan years ago middle school-aged local bully 18 year old kid in my school pushes a buddy off his bike while we were riding past hurt him pretty good I offered the middle finger salute as a comment on his actions fast forward the next Monday of school lunch I'm suddenly sucker punched from behind breaking my jaw I weighed 130 bully was close to 200 I'd imagine anyway he sucker punches me jumps back and yells bring it B so I threw my metal lunch tray at him knocked him down and attacked him with a fork last I saw the fork was wiggling back and forth in his upper arm when they pulled me off I used to have a temper problem if someone sucker-punched me I'd have a temper problem too when I was in middle school we were reading a book that contained a character that was physically abused we were told to write a poem from the kids perspective being the procrastinator that I am I was working on it in my math class right before it was due I accidentally left my rough draft in the desk and apparently someone found it and thought that it was serious they went full-blown crazy over analyzed my handwriting to make sure it was mine I got called into the principal's office had a counselor there and everything luckily before they decided to call the cops on my parents I was able to explain everything this was back over 20 years ago when silent alarms first became popular in the suburbs of the Twin Cities it was Sunday morning and I went to get a Sunday newspaper from the local grocery store I walked in at about 801 a.m. just as soon as the door was unlocked by the 17y Oh daughter of the proprietor I walked back to the cooler and grabbed a one-stroke two gallon of milk and walked to the front as the girl opened the newspaper bundle I helped her put the papers into the holding rack grabbed one off the top and still at the register with my back to the entrance as she walked around to the other side of the counter suddenly I heard somebody yell freeze we have our weapons drawn raise your hands over your head and turn around slowly I complied and stood facing two police officers one with a roud gun the other with a revolver the girl started crying the policeman approached and asked us to explain what was going on the girl had forgotten to turn off the new alarm system when she opened the store she explained that I was a regular customer and posed no threat she had to fill out a form for a false alarm and I was given a half-hearted apology from the cops for the girl's parents did call and apologize for her oversight since then I have avoided entering any store in the first 15 minutes of business a friend was giving me a lift to class he was driving to university late for a class so he was speeding he drove through a known speed trap and saw lights come on he was cursing thinking he couldn't afford another speeding ticket he stops the car and four other police cars surround it they all exit with guns drawn screaming at the top of their lungs I thought we were going to die apparently less than one hour prior a suspect had held up a local bank driving the exact same make model and color car the worst part was the money he paid his mom to insure the car was never spent on insurance the registration was also expired leaving him with a huge fine under five year driving suspension lesson learned pay for everything yourself don't rely on someone else to pay your bills unless you're paying them to do it law well when I was a sophomore in high school I was an idiot and my friend convinced us to get high and wander the backwards trails that were pathid by one guy my friend said that if I ever see a pickup truck coming to duck into the underbrush so we were laughing our asses off when suddenly we hear a truck plodding along it was far off so I wasn't worried all of a sudden we heard a loud sound behind us and we see the dudes truck roaring around the corner running over plants but now to give you some info the ground was sandy so he slides into park gets out and my friend bursts off into the brush screaming crap crap crap me being the idiot at the one time I don't run when I'm high looked at the dude and he looked like the general old dude but he seemed cool he got out and he was leaning on the side of the bed where he motioned for me to come over I thought he was going to give me a rough talking to maybe ask my info and that would be that nope the dude proceeds in the matter of about two seconds to reach in the bed and pull out a shotgun immediately followed by you freaking kids bother me everyday I bolted you know where there are those areas with the sharp plants with serrated parma jizz there was a huge collection of those but it was closest to get off the path I jumped fully into it I busted my butt when I slid the dirt and then I heard a gunshot it was insanely loud I nearly peed my pants I started making way further in as quick as I could and I could hear him muttering and messing about the leaves trying to see me so about 15 minutes off kindly wandering through the brush I see my friend far off and yell for him he turns and we reunite we were completely frickin lost we had to walk a mile just to get to those paths so we wandered around for around two hours being quiet because we could still faintly hear the truck so we were crawling through and finally we saw the highway and I can't even imagine what it looked like to see us we were bloodied up my legs were torn up and we were fighting our way back up this small gully to the open highway we emerged and some nice lady stopped and asked if we were all right in her minivan we said we were good and he called a friend to pick us up turns out we were really far from where we started she picked us up we both children a house I went home later that night my parents grounded me because I had been out so long but he l dr i got shot at by an old dude and wandered around in the bush trying to find my way back to civilization chances are he just shot in the air it's still pan shooting indeed an hour into Black Swan one of my favorite pornos I've never witnessed a food fight until senior year of high school with only about three weeks left until the year's end some friends and I are just sitting at our usual table minding our own business when a single milk carton goes flying overhead and lands in between some tables thinking nothing of it as my school about seven hundred people in this particular lunch period was a bunch of rowdy ghetto freaks we continued eating a couple minutes later somebody retaliated through a milk carton back up in the air this time it was full and splattered luckily on an empty chair next thing I know there was the barrage of spaghetti flying overhead and I ducked so I don't get hit with any pasta shrapnel crap hits the fan half of the people stopped throwing food and the other half are either running or ducking one of those hard plastic trays like the ones from Taco Bell gets chucked across the caf area which was responded with trays getting thrown everywhere right as I'm thinking that this is getting dangerous a freaking chair gets thrown into the crowd at least four fights immediately break out as in a crowd of people beat the crap out of one person no such thing as a fair fight in my HS and the room is an utter chaos with fights chairs and hard trays still being thrown food everywhere still all we're still all we're still all we're still all we're still all we're still all we're still we're still all we're still all wet freak that crap I walked out the back door and went home that was enough school for me that day practically the same story repeated itself three more times in the next week with people getting injured each time rod control points were then in my cafeteria until the end of the year riot police would need that extra honor against my school's meals hate that I came in so late on this but this is such a crazy story it has to be shared I was living in the Midwest at the time and they had been a torrential rainfall I was driving my Jeep Wrangler I know and came up to an underpass in town there was some standing water and on the other side there was the cop in the other Lane with his lights on facing the other direction the water wasn't very deep no more than a few inches I drove through it and up beside the cop in the other Lane he waves me down and I stopped to see what he wanted what I didn't realize is that he was making a feeble attempt to keep cars from going through the water but instead of him telling me this and me being able to apologize for an honest mistake Lee decides to act like a douche this is roughly how the conversation started him so you think just because you're done bass drives a Jeep you can ignore a police car with flashing lights me um no sir since you were on the other side of the road and on the other side of the water I didn't understand what you were trying to do him yeah well you are about to have a very bad day do you understand that get the Frick out of the car me after getting out of the car dude what the Frick is your problem and here is where it went bad our conversation gets more heated and he pulled out one of those retractable battens and acts like he is going to swing it out of pure instinct I grab his wrist and for some reason he locks with me and we go to the ground with him on top he raises the baton to hit me with it and I'm about to clock him in the face when someone pulls him off of me it turns out that by an incredible stroke of luck it's my sister's ex-boyfriend whom I knew really well that is a sheriff's deputy he immediately cuffed me and put me in his car and went to talk to the cop he came back and I told him my version of the story he got out and started arguing with the cop and he got in his car and left he then opened up my door uncuffed me and told me I was the luckiest mother sucker alive that he drove up to this day I hate to tell the story because if it wasn't for the fact that my sister's ex brings it up when I see him I would honestly think I must have dreamed it you are definitely one lucky mofo I was about 17 and a waitress during the overnight shift at the 24-hour diner I worked at a bunch of guys came in drunk and talking like pirates it really wasn't that big of a deal because at least they weren't barfing in the fake plants like most of the other drunk people did they all ordered in their pirate voices and then I got to the last guy he said argh matey I'll have some cheese fries so I took his order down and he picked up the butter knife beside him pointed it at me and said very seriously if you free cap my cheese fries I swear to God I will slit your throats and jerk off in it that show did escalate quickly a few years ago during the summer a group of my friends went up to stay at some beach house for a weekend with me it was a nice two days and since none of us could drive yet my friend's mother had to come and drive us home now since we spent almost the entire weekend awake doing anything from football to catching lobsters most others were exhausted in fact the majority of us around four out of the six of us fell asleep at various points throughout the ride home well it's been around 2 hours since we left the house when I finally come to and look around the only people awake are me my friend let's call him bill and a different friend's mom who was driving us home a few minutes of driving in silence and we are coming up one of the biggest hills in the city as soon as we reach the top of the hill and begin our descent three police three state cruisers put on their sirens they had an ambush set up at the top for us I had no idea what was going on so I decided to just stay calm quiet and wake up my friends I figured we must have been speeding or something just on the way up to the beach house my friend's mom got a ticket next thing I know four pistols are being aimed at the car and we are all being told to put our hands out of the window now most of the people in the car have only been awake for a few seconds and were justifiably freaking out given that the majority of us were small teenagers we could barely even fit our hands out of the window after a few minutes they pulled bill out of the car and questioned him after around 10 minutes we are allowed to leave everyone asks him what the heck just happened and he and the driver explained that halfway through the car ride they decided it would be hilarious to put up a sign that said help Emmy against the window thanks to that [ __ ] am no longer mentally able to sleep in a car TL DR a bunch of 14 year olds got guns pulled on them mere seconds after waking up because of the antics of an irresponsible auntie milf and my idiot friend it's comforting to me that the sign wasn't ignored one day in high school I was driving home with some friends from a late movie I was going maybe five over the speed limit and the cop turns his lights on I pulled the car over and wait for the cop to come out however five minutes later three other cop cars pull up real quick and surround my car they all get out guns drawn and scream at us to get out of the car hands up and lie face down on the ground we do as we're told and get our scared highschool faces on the ground turns out a car of the same description just robbed a convenience store nearby never been so freaked in my life to say that I went to a school full of special people is an understatement in my sophomore year fortunately by then I was far far away there was literally a race war and what would have been my high school had I stayed there it was such a special place that there were no less than three alternative education programs nearby one of which was a boot camp style place for the kids that the Stan alternative program couldn't handle my friend Billy lived about two miles from it near enough that he could hear the PT drills in the morning so we've been staying up all night one summer drinking soda and playing video games and the group of us are pretty wired it's 6:00 a.m. and we hear the PT going we walk out on to Billy's back porch and listen then Joe decides he's going to cup his hands to his mouth and yell the drill sergeants RF at the top of his voice it got so quiet you could hear the grass grow then one of the drill sergeants starts screaming w-h-o said that what was that ladies you all want to run suicides this morning well okay then until we find out WH o said that that's what we're going to do well look at what we got here a freaking comedian this girl was once standing next to me at a bar while I spoke to my friend then when my friend walked away I ordered a drink turned around said hello and she punched me so hard in the face that the next thing I knew I was on the floor and my friend was on her back pulling her hair out while bar staff were cradling their faces piss piss piss piss piss piss piss piss piss piss piss piss piss I got up and she called me a racist and a homophobe I'm a gay lady and I didn't say or do anything xenophobic while people were struggling to bring her down I just stood there and took a sip of my drink it was freaking crazy when I was in high school there was the girl who rode my bus who lived far away the bus drove out every day just to drop her off a lot of kids on the bus resented her for it but I had taken a liking to her so I swore that if any of them picked on her I would stick up for her that day came someone yelled out hey girl why don't you get a taxi or something I responded hey butthole why don't you shut up a lot of people went along as low people do when there's a fight the frick you just say to me the adrenaline was pumping through me I said leave her alone Rookwood or I swear to God I will cut your dong off and feed it to you got that [ __ ] skin I was so angry and riled up by the idea of a fight I could see that he was taken aback my friend told me later that he was actually afraid of me for a moment in case he got in the crossfire the guy stood up at this point the bus driver pulled over interrogated us and brought him to the front of the bus I didn't marry her she was friends with my ex-girlfriend so I rarely even got to talk to her that said whenever I talked to her she was really sweet like diabetes sweet I kinda miss her the lies people tell crack me up they broke our windshield by throwing drinks to the windshield is fine well it got better on the way because when shield is capitalized I read this as a windshield is fine I thought thank goodness a heavily armed SWAT team ordered everyone out of my house while I was playing The Sims on my PC having no clue what was going on I look outside to see these guys with assault rifles and shotguns screaming get the Frick out of the house thinking I was being raided I hid whatever drugs I had and ran out the front door the first guy grabs me throws me to the ground and drags me across my front yard all with a gun held to my head my two other friends who were in the house were also held down and searched the team searches the house for a few minutes then comes out with a toy airsoft gun all this was over my dumb boss friend pointing an airsoft gun out of a window in another room at my other friend who was outside talking on the phone the neighbors obviously saw this and thought it was a threat they gave us some long piaf speech and went on their merry way and I bard my friend from my house but some friends and I were driving to a coffee shop in Houston late one night there were six of us so we split up with three in each car since this was before GPS was common the friend driving me had forgotten where the place was and pulled up next to the other car at a stoplight to ask for directions the other car passenger gave directions by pointing up the street and then indicating a sharp right at the next block the next thing we knew the other car was being pulled over not by one cop but by four police cars they pulled everyone out and tossed them facedown on the sidewalk cops were screaming in their car was emptied and searched top to bottom a helicopter made an appearance and coffee was not hired apparently a patrol officer behind us saw the gestures and what he was pointing a gun at us out the window would there have been a shooting recently TL DR cops decide that teens should not have coffee in HS riding with a friend downtown in my hometown we get behind a Ford Escort with a bunch of guys in it at a stop sign the five or six guys in a jump out for a Chinese fire drill and all change seats as we pass them my friend leaves out the window and claps this set those fine young gentlemen off they start chasing us sim on foot some in the car as the chase continues they begin to pull bandanas up over their faces and reach into their coats jackets et Cie at this point I am pretty sure we are going to die but I still managed to direct my friend to the local police station the guys chasing us circled the block at least twice waiting for us to leave the parking lot before they finally took off not my story did a former room mate I'll call him Eric not a real name and a good friend since junior high we were in college three of us living in the same apartment the third roommate studied history and Eric and I studied computer science this is just to point out that we were are pretty much harmless nerds precursor to the actual story I get home one night and the historian tells me Eric was shot my first reaction was stop messing with me dude no really Eric was shot Frick why what the heck anyway long story short he cussed someone off on the freeway they followed him in a blacked-out suburban he gets off the freeway they simply opened fire at him at the light lucky for him he saw the gun at the last minute swerved out of the way and got shot in the arm and shoulder the bullet entered his shoulder and didn't exit but you could clearly see a fragment of the bullet in his shoulder pointing at his neck they never caught the guys in the suburban and what's worse he ended up on the news needless to say Eric was scared shitless because if the bad guys were watching they now knew who he was anyway fast forward about six months Eric is driving down the freeway at night at a comfy 80 miles per hour as he likes to do all of a sudden a car pulls up behind him and start to tail him to the point where he can't even see the headlights Eric freaks a freak out thinking they found him so he just freakin floors his little Civic and goes as fast as he can 90 miles per hour still behind him 100 miles per hour still behind him he pushes his all the way to 110 as fast as the little Civic good the suckers are still behind him not letting up he's now thinking he's dead meat until the car that was behind him puts on his sirens yep it was the cops behind him the whole time so he pulls over never so glad that he got pulled over in his entire life but as you can imagine scared of what the cops will do to him still better alive than dead the cop comes out pulls out his gun tells him to get out of the car the cop tells him that he was seconds away from being bit maneuvered my friend is crying telling the cop what happened and why he ran away the cop shakes his head thinking it's all bulls but goes to the car and checks his record anyway and there it is he got shot some months prior the cop goes back to Eric and tells him Eric what am I gonna do with you next time just don't speed in the first place and lets him go that was a double Hugh TL DR friend gets shot in a drive-by suspects never caught months later gets chased at night by what turns out to be cops cops verify story let him go great storytelling skills long I almost felt like I was in the car with him kamar it's a shame that the whole mess could have been avoided by simply talking wasn't caught on tape girlfriend at the time was going to be staying at her friend's house and it was her first night there her friend had given her a key but somehow failed to mention to her husband a [ __ ] that she was staying the nightmare we get to the door and after trying the key in the lock for a few minutes it wouldn't unlock so we gave up and were headed back to the car when the husband flung opened the door with gun drawn thinking we were trying to rob a place after I was done trying to use a GF as a human shield and being on myself he recognized us and we all had a good laugh yah that was hilarious TL DR my stepdad and I had guns drawn on us we had just popped in to Play It Again Sports a new and used sports gear store we made our purchase baseballs I think and as we headed out he steps out first then jumps back and shoves me to the ground it was pure instinct on his part but in his haste he knocked me back and into a bad display knocking a few over he yells at me to get down in his best army voice centuries passed by in those scant seconds before he tells me it's okay and I can stand up ski apologizes and I'm still confused as to what made him jump back then as we walk out I see three officers manhandling a man on the side of one of their cruisers I don't know why they were there for him or what made them think he was threatening but my stepdad has walked right into the path or two officers pointing their guns at this man and another on the opposite side I can't imagine how I'd react to having a loaded gun pointed at me but now I know how my stepdad would react I'm not sure if this particular story applies but we shall see this happened to me in the fall of 2011 during my hometowns annual celebration called hobo days basically it's a weekend of incessant partying for everyone and people come from all around to get really drunk I usually steer clear of the local bars during this event just to protect myself from the douches and on this night I went to a friend's home to party a little and just chill but fast forward to about 3 a.m. and I am walking home which was only a few blocks I see two guys walking towards me not like they are intent on anything other than going the direction I wasn't they seem like the typical drunken college kids in town with their whoops and overall joyfulness they said hey where's the party at and I replied not sure guys I'm just going home to pass out at this point they would just about right in front of me and the most absurd thing happened the bigger of the two shoved me and as I was wondering WTF I just got shoved for I was struck in the face I was not expected this at all and it put me on my butt pretty hard i sat in bewilderment as they continued to punch me a few more times then they took off running I swear I heard them laughing however I was not in any immediate condition to trust my ears honestly so who knows all this happened within seconds and I literally thought to myself well that escalated quickly I scraped myself up off the ground and walked home I called my buddy however and told them about it story actually gets funnier my friends got all angry and grabbed Kenpo spelling sticks and went running outside looking for the two guys that whupped my butt never found em however met about one week after nine stroke 11 nearly Ashokan reservoir in upstate NY DEP had closed down a heavily used local Road for security because it ran over a dam I drove past and couldn't use this road again heading to the dita I decided in my infinite wisdom that it would be a good idea to whip a u-turn then ask the guards when the road would reopen they were not amused by a car doing a sudden u-turn and driving for the dam I was met with multiple officers coming at me with rifles pointed in my direction they let me go but things went from zero to zero MFG in about ten seconds this is sure to get buried with so many comments unfortunate too because it was pretty effing awesome it's Sunday on a Labor Day weekend I took my grandmother out to lunch at a local Mexican restaurant as we are leaving the restaurant and are in my grandmother's 1989 Nissan Maxima she spots a couple guys get out of a car in an adjacent parking lot and alerts me to the situation I look over my shoulder and I see these two tweakers using a screwdriver to take off license plates of some cars in an auto body shop it's the weekend I know the shop is closed in the heat of the moment I put the car in reverse and proceeded to turn the car around in a 180 so we are facing the thieves I am already dialing 9-1-1 on my phone mainly because I hate thieves and there is only one thing I hate more than thieves and that is people on em but my tires screech on the curb and they look up realize I am driving towards them and they hop into the back seat of their getaway car at this point we are now doing 60 plus mph down a two-lane side street and the downtown area of Phoenix I am on the phone with the dispatcher giving her directions we just took a right on Osborn heading west at this point the thieves getaway car is plain outrunning my grandma's old maxima and I am flooring it the thieves get a nice jump on us and I lose them around a corner at which point my 80 years old grandmother exclaims don't lose them I'll look at her with a slight we are definitely related look it's been at least five minutes and we have gone in several circles ran several red lights and careened through residential neighborhoods at a blistering 60-plus mph at this point the cops finally catch up to us they has passed me and I hear a slight hum I look up it's a helicopter and it's following about 300 yards in front of us we are now deep into residential neighborhoods in the dispatcher tells me to back off and let the cops handle it since they have a visual a perimeter is set up and the thieves crash their car into a house trying to evade spike strips I get pulled over by a cop car I get scolded by the cop he takes me in the back of his car to the wreck site where I had all four thieves he takes my info and says I might hear from the courts if they go to trial it was one of those moments where clarity just kicked in I was just in a high-speed very dangerous chase with potentially very dangerous people with my 80 year old grandmother and the passenger seat needless to say my family was not very happy with the news when my grandmother related to them her exciting weekend TL DR got in a high-speed pursuit with my 80 year old grandmother in the car busted the thieves and watch them get hauled off to jail breaking their windshield upon seeing that the Suburbans windshield was fine I got mark using to fix that up real quick they smashed her windshield police look at intact windshield it got better kamar it's a shame that the whole mess could have been avoided by simply talking or you know not throwing crap out the window of a moving vehicle not to mention littering littering is a really crappy thing to do my friend and I were walking down a bike path around 10 o'clock at night the path has a two-way street on both sides and houses lined the roads on the left and right sides so it's not like they're walking close to anyone's house we were just talking about a local juvenile detention center my friend insisted it had guards and they carried guns and were cops my stepfather had worked there for years and I knew better I told him back the guards didn't even wear uniforms and there was one gun locked in a gun case and a filing cabinet we were going back and forth with us for about ten minutes out of nowhere a car drives up onto the path and heading right for us and marked cop car we didn't know at the time but two guys jump out quick we think we're about to get into a fight so we throw up our fists then four more cars all but one marked all pull up surrounding us guns drawn we'd go from fists in the air to hands over heads in an instant the cops grab us separate us and start questioning us about what one of us were going to shoot the cop seemed someone even though not close enough to hear exactly what we were saying picked up the words gun and cop and assumed that's what we were talking about after 45 minutes we finally got back to that walk but we noticed being watched till we got to our destination similar story in downtown San Jose getting jack-in-the-box crappy drunk food for those not in the know and got a chicken sandwich I'm the only male in a car full of women and sitting in the passenger seat as we get to a stoplight I happen to notice a little old Asian lady staring daggers at me for no apparent reason so I do the mature thing shrug and offer her a bite of my chicken sandwich this inexplicably puts the old lady into a rage and she starts screaming English obscenities at me much to my amusement so I pick up a camera sitting next to me and take her picture her rage now turns into terror and she begins flashing her brights honking her horn and screaming help at the top of her lungs oh crap mode begins like turns green and we start taking off with a laugh until a car full of young Asians are now chasing us making it expressly clear how much they desire to kill the crap out of the only male in the vehicle me we are heading down the street side-by-side at about 60 miles per hour 97 kph and there is a red light ahead of us with a wall of stopped cars I mentally prepare for crappy situation when the turn lane turns green we are still approaching the wall of cars we jump to left turn lane while the driver in the chase car is still looking at me and cursing he doesn't slow down or stop we turn right as I watch them rear-end the wall of cars at the still red light we pause long enough to watch everyone get out of the car and tear butt out of there and that's how I caused a multi car accident with a chicken sandwich it was a few months ago and I was making the to one stroke to a charred drive from Phoenix to Flagstaff Arizona to visit my friend I hadn't seen in a while and go hiking I admittedly was speeding on the nearly empty highway going about 100 105 mph in a 75 zone and rocking out to my really loud music checked my eye for a possible lash that had slipped in and was giving me grief during the drive and never tilted the rearview mirror back back the combination of these things led to my ultimate demise fast forward 10 minutes there is a cop speeding right next to me lights flashing and hanging out the window screaming at me to move over I am alarmed instantly and move over he doesn't stop I adjust my rearview mirror and realize there is a cop behind me as well flashing his lights and driving very aggressively behind me I think they are trying to speed around me to go catch some criminal then realize it is any they're trying to pull over I pull off as soon as I can and they both slide to a hole behind me and leap out of their cars guns drawn and shouting at me to turn off my car leave my keys in the ignition and back up slowly with my arms up to make a long story short they cuffed me put me in the back of one of their cars ransacked mine for drugs and took me to jail apparently one of them tried to pull me over for speeding and I didn't hear music or see tilted rearview mirror them for 10 minutes so they called for backup as this was - then the high-speed chase and had even had a police officer ahead of me throw spikes on the road to stop me discussion of a helicopter was also in the works once they realized what had actually happened they were really nice and tease me a bit then charged me with as minimal of a misdemeanor as they could at that point pretty embarrassing but valuable lessons learned that day I was at a bar with an acquaintance and my wife and his wife we decided to play some pool neither of us are good in any sense and some skinheads come up and asked if we would consider playing them for money we both half drunk say no we just want to play they plead that there are only two tables and we should play them with no money at stake we figure what the heck sure my friend is getting drunker by the minute and is starting to forget that the basics of speech and pool rules so all of a sudden he grabs that ball is that the right spelling and is going to place it somewhere else because he saw some drunk and reason thought they scratched so there he is holding a ball while one of the skinheads is yelling at him to put it back he obliges but apparently within an inch of the original place is unacceptable to him more shouting from skinhead one my friend is so drunk he cannot tell really wTF is going on I mean while I am sizing up skinhead 2 while he does the same to me within 15 seconds of the pickup for skinhead one sucker punches my friend and drops him and immediately runs for the exit for skinhead 2 looks at me decides he doesn't want to get involved and turns tail and runs too and all I could think was dang WTF just happened remember this was over no money at all cops come but we just headed home for the night TL DR skinhead sucker punches plastered friend over a friendly game of pool high school junior year I was sitting in study hall 4th period and we have our study hall in our cafeteria so we're all sitting at lunch tables etc I'm sitting there playing chrono trigger on my PSP homebrew FTW and suddenly I see a kid we'll call him kid one two tables in front of me jump up and throw a full water bottle as hard as he could at another kid two three tables in front of him the bottle misses by a lot I assumed he wasn't aiming just trying to make a statement and kid won just sprint said kid to throwing chairs and slamming tables on his way there creating a general health storm of noise and commotion with kid 1 attempts to spear kid 2 to the ground the kid 2 was a bit taller a bit more built and apparently had good balance the to them get into this flurry of punches kicks Gramps and other incoherent pseudo wrestling moves all the while quickly moving right over to my table they start whaling on each other right next to where I was sitting I don't know why I didn't get up to avoid getting hit by a stray punch I guess because it was so quick I wasn't really thinking at all their fight starts to migrate to well behind where I was and then I seek hit to Tripp kid 1 and then kid 2 proceeds to slam kid one's head into the hard tile floor this ended the fight abruptly kid 1 was knocked unconscious when a few teachers picked him up to bring kid one to the nurse's office I saw a huge stream of blood going from the top of his forehead down his entire face just like movies the time in between the bottle throwing in the head smashing was not good a minute so I definitely say that was quick escalation I studied abroad in Paris for a bit during uni and I had spent some time wandering around an English bookstore in a really nice part of town so I was really an English mode when I left Oh Who am I kidding my French wasn't as terrible but as I walked out carrying a bag with my new book I walked past a man going the opposite direction who said something out loud which I was not paying the slightest attention to but the bum sitting on the ground stared at him as he walked by I keep walking thinking nothing of it and all of a sudden I get a hard kick to the back of one knee that sends me straight to the ground I get up and turned to see the man I walked past yelling something in French at me my mind completely shut off to this day I so wish I knew what he said and me just mouthing qualen able to do or say anything I was so thrown and embarrassed and confused that I just kept walking and went to a park to calm down and eat a hot dog or fromage that craps delicious but that sidewalk jaunt on the Rue de Rivoli certainly escalated quickly while your French may be terrible assaulting someone in the street is relatively international a punch in the dong is just as international and would get the message across cleanly it was about 2:00 a.m. and my band and I were in a crappy urban diner after a long night of rehearsal and recording when suddenly a fat self-righteous cop appears without a Wordle skipping a beat he walks directly behind the counter and grabs one of those chocolate milk cartons that we all used to drink in grade school by the time this carton was in his hand its contents hadn't lasted for more than 10 seconds we recognized his name as the waitress called him by his last name all cops had their usual posted on the wall behind the counter there were a couple of attractive girls our age 21 sitting near us randomly they were friends with a band in the area that we were lined up to play with so the conversation was pretty easy this butt hole cop not too happy with some young New Wave looking Punk talking to attractive women singles me out he approaches me and asks where are you from with a very snarky connotation I told him which village of the city I was from and almost before I could spit it out responds well then you must be a PR look at him with mild disgust and just continue to eat my polish boy apparently my lack of interest in his righteousness was upsetting to him so he felt that he had to up the ante he states again you must be a P and I can say this because I carry a gun and a Taser at this point fed up with my nice meal and nice conversation being interrupted I respond with what a coincidence I do too at this point this cop points his taser right into my face this wasn't one of the stab tasers it was one of the point-and-shoot ones so I repeated myself getting more furious at my lack of Fricks he continues to move it closer to my face at this point I was literally begging him to taze me saying things like please taste me I really want to be able to call off work tomorrow etc unfortunately he didn't but this embarrassing moment was enough for him to leave the diner and me alone I have this one time back in college me and my buddy came out of the bar and we we're waiting for a taxi my buddy had to pee so he went behind the building to take a pee 20 minutes later he wasn't back yet so I figured he probably bumped into some lady friend or something this is normal for him I still couldn't find a taxi so I just said fricken I'm walking home it was only about a 40 minutes walk and it would give me the chance to sober up five minutes up the street I looked back and see a metric buttload of cops and fire trucks I figured probably a bunch of people started fighting or something like that so about a hour after I finally arrived home and my buddy was already there eating my freaking ramen noodles and start telling me the story apparently while in the back of the building taking a pee he found a latter and climbed up the five-story building and was trying to get my attention but I never noticed someone apparently saw him and thought he was trying to commit suicide so they called the cops how after the firemen got him down the building there was a crowd of like 200 people clapping hands he told the cops he was a roofer and checking for leaks and didn't get into any trouble law summer of 2008 my friend and I was sitting my 1989 mazda mx5 the local dairy queen across the street was a not so popular Blockbuster where I went to park and wait as the parking lot was mostly empty me and my friend sat in the car for a good 20 minutes to hear cops sirens all over the place we assumed it was whatever until we heard on the megaphone get out of the vehicle and put your hands up we turn around to see three police charges and two regular sheriff's cars we both hypothetically crap ourselves and exited the car with guns drawn on us when the cops realized that we were 16 year old kids about to crap our pants they realized that we were not the people they were looking for apparently blockbuster called in and said that known criminals were in a red car outside their store not too much happened besides a lot of explaining but from sitting in a car in an empty parking lot to gunpoint it's say it escalated quickly as a prelude to the story I'm about to tell I say I was a pretty good kid for most of my teenage years like straight A's on a society no disciplinary record to be spoken of good this is the story of how that changed in an instant so there I am a bored high school senior sitting in Japanese one at 11:00 a.m. in the morning funny story how I ended up taking Japanese but I'll tell it's another time now the teacher of this particular class was an adorably awkward middle-aged Japanese woman by the name of mrs. Megumi we all loved mrs. Maggie Mae's cheerful demeanor and generous extra-credit policy but what we didn't love was her embarrassingly apparent infatuation with the butthole English teacher from across the hall mr. Tucker on this Friday morning we were in the middle of drilling vocabulary when mr. Tucker comes by for a little chitchat naturally mrs. Megumi interrupts the lecture hastens over to the door and they make small talk people who took his classes told me that mr. Tucker was a good teacher but I never really saw him do much teaching he just wandered around a lot but I digress five minutes pass 10 minutes 15 20 minutes of staring daggers at the lovebirds while the freshman girl next to me makes a futile attempt it's teaching the origami now as an art form I don't mind origami it's just that somehow every time I try it it turns into a paper ninja star and after a while folding paper ninja stars becomes a tiny bit more boring than drilling vocabulary by that much so I'm fed up with his balls and I decide to get their attention in a good-natured manner by playfully flipping one of my manifold origami creations in their general direction I think I should mention at this point that I suck at throwing ninja stars almost as badly as I suck at folding them never once have I succeeded in making it fly straight except this time this ninja star whips towards them like a freakin laser-guided missile and hits mr. Tucker right and the goddamn eye mrs. Magoo me is frantic an ambulance is called school security arrives I get written up for assaulting a teacher and spend the next week wallowing in in-school suspension jesus H Christ TL DR perfect permanent record blemished by origami I was on a really fast elevator once does that count you have been visited by post dog oh don't worry you do not need to comment to have good luck Hurst Dogo only came to give you good vibes and to wish that your crush or whoever you want to X you if you are new to the channel you can subscribe I publish new videos every day until then check out another video or don't either way have a great day you magnificent people

Channel: Updoot Everything

Views: 631,466

Rating: 4.835742 out of 5

Keywords: Well that escalated quickly, escalated quickly, escalated quickly scene, police, cops, #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, \r, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny reddit stories, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, reddit stories 2019, people of reddit, sub, reddit cringe, memes, toadfilms, updoot everything, updoot reddit, story, stories, rslash, comedy, fresh

Id: EFl-7KBVb0M

Length: 52min 45sec (3165 seconds)

Published: Sun May 03 2020