Teachers, What's The Funniest Thing A Student Ever Did?

teachers of ridet what is the funniest thing that has happened in your classroom to a student that as a teacher you were not allowed to laugh at student waiting late after rehearsal kid calls home hey can you tell mom to pick me up oh she's in the shower what about dad he's in the shower too turns to teacher it's going to be a while mr. M let's call back after around two minutes mr. M must have been a Wednesday I had a student who had extreme test anxiety every time we went to take the test he would throw up after vomiting he would be fine but he had to spew everywhere first for stress reduction or something I would seat him next to the bathroom and provide a bucket now this worked on normal days but during our state testing he would not be able to go to the restroom unless I first called an administrator to escort him on the big testing day we practice breathing techniques I had a handy vomit bucket for him and we were ready to go after ten minutes he sure enough looked like he was going to be sick except he forgot about the bucket he vomits and then tried to hold it in his mouth he shoved his puke back in his mouth swallowed and smiled at me and gave me a thumbs up horrified yet simultaneously holding back laughter I gave him wipes and a bunch of mints the kid did great on the test in the end I need some gum after reading that I believe my brother has posted about this before our aunt teaches kindergarten so with five year olds in an unprivileged neighborhood often the kids are exposed to swearing and profanity at a young age one time she asked her students to sit crisscross applesauce and one kid wasn't paying attention to his friend next to him whispered hey crisscross applesauce mothersucker needless to say my aunt couldn't contain her laughter and had to leave the room for a minute I taught English at a high school in Spain last year we did a geography exercise where I would pronounce the English version of a country or body attwater's name and they would repeat it in unison I came across the agency and I had no idea how to pronounce it in my flustered confusion I tried and said Aegean Sea I think and without hesitation everyone repeated Aegean Sea I think I lost it and to this day I'm pretty sure they still don't know why during a semester abroad in Florence we taught elementary age Italian kids English and one of my friends was from New Jersey and had a thick thick Jersey accent to this day I still laugh about a generation of Italian kids asking for a cup of cofee I was a teacher's aide in a third grade classroom it was the last day of school before spring break and all the kids were so excited it's a big party day we had pizza watched The Muppets movie and all the kids brought gifts or dessert foods for everyone else one kid who didn't have that much money wanted to make personalized bookmarks for the rest of the class because his family didn't have much money he decided to look around his dad's work place to find something he could use in the trash can there were a bunch of long strips of cardboard the only thing was the cardboard came from cigarette cartons and his dad worked at a liquor store so on one side there was a kid's name and cute pictures on the other was flattened advertising firm ol burro pal mal Camel you name it it was so hard to not laugh when he came up to me and excitedly show them to me this was my first time working in a classroom and I had no idea what to do the teacher ended up having me take them to the supply room and laminate them with construction paper covering the other side we told the kid it would help them last longer his book marks were everyone's favorite gift mine still has the Al Capone logo on the back though that's so awesome that the teacher had you put construction paper on the back and not just throw them away made me tear up I was teaching EFL to a class of primary school Thai kids I was teaching then plurals by showing them a slideshow of cartoon monsters it has three eyes it has four legs et Cie and getting them to tell me how many limbs and stuff each monster had one little kid five years old got really into it and on one monster shoots his hand in the air and comes out with it has one anus I was speechless for a second so he jumped up on his chair backwards bends over and starts pointing to his ass shouting no teacher Amos I tease Amos well technically he was right I teach preschool so there are a lot of instances in which I'm not allowed to laugh but really want to can't help it sometimes farting is probably the most common but two particular stories stick out in my head this year we were talking about our families dads were a difficult subject of discussion last year because I taught in a neighborhood in which most students didn't have dads or if they did they were in jail students would shout out things like my dad sells drugs old my dad yells at my mom and this oddly excited voice because they didn't have filters yet and were just happy to have a chance to share this year most of my students have more traditional families the other day one of them shouted out my dad snores when he sleeps and another student responded with my dad sleeps naked hilarious now I can't look at that dad without blushing last year my classroom carpets that had the alphabet border around the edges one of my students Demetrios like to sit on the letter D because it was the first letter of his name one day Zaria sits on the letter d demetrius gets in her face and yells Zarya get off my d I lost it my four-year-old daughter tells everyone that I sleep naked I actually sleep in my underwear but I guess that is close enough to make it for a four-year-old when I was a junior in high school I rolled my snowmobile and was pretty banged up namely my mid and lower back was all out of whack I looked like Quasimodo walking around one day in my desktop publishing class we were all working on something so it was totally silent save for mouse clicks and keyboard taps I was in one of those plastic school chairs and moved a weird way my lower back pelvis popped back into place loudly and everything from mid back down relaxed including my butt hole I let out an insanely loud Brown rap that echoed off the chair like most of you are aware they do at the same time my back felt so good that I let out a loud moan everyone froze next thing I know my teacher bolts from her chair and out the door where we could hear her screaming and laughing hysterically holy crap that made me laugh so hard teacher here's a girl's phone vibrating in her purse and says I hope that is a phone teacher walks another two steps and realizes what she just said class erupts in laughter when reading Hamlet with the class after a failures line about Hamlet to speak of horrors he comes before me a kid said Hamlet get it together man I cracked up the other kids didn't get it luckily grade 11 reading Romeo and Juliet aloud there's a line of the beginning where a character says bring me my long sword ho my friend got the inflection on the whole completely wrong he said it with such enthusiasm - it was hilarious I was having a conversation with my manager and my year two student comes out of the classroom and says very seriously can I poke I had won first grade kid kick another first grade kid in the nuts on accident during freeze dance when they were dancing like ninjas apparently a seven-year-old screaming Oh W my nuts and falling down to the ground tested the limits of my professionalism my wife is a teacher and her and some of the staff were having a meeting inside a classroom the door was closed and locked a group of students were outside the classroom waiting for someone to come unlock the door so they can go on in and wait for the class to start an impatient student started pounding on the door she was unaware of the staff meeting going on inside but she was persistent with the knocking so eventually one of the teachers came over and opened the door and let her and her only inside the room he said come on in I guess the entire staff looked at her in silence then looked at each other while the student just awkwardly stood there with a horrified look on her face they immediately went back to discussing their meeting during that time most of the staff were doing everything they could to keep from laughing the poor girl continued to just stand there quietly wide-eyed with a look of horror we were playing the Shakespearean insult game with another English class where you send the other guys a play ax scene and line number that contains a gorgeously archaic insult so like we'd send Henry the IV Part 1 act 2 scene four lines 225 226 and the other class would look it up and read this sanguine coward this bed presser this horse backbreaker this huge hill of flesh and etc we were doing that for like a half hour then my class gets Romeo and Juliet at one scene five line five and when we looked it up your mother my teacher turned bright red holding it together then started laughing so hard he had to sit down Titus Andronicus act IV scene 2 line 1765 Aaron villian I have done thy mother toughest exchange I had as a college instructor was in one of my classes where people were conditionally admitted to the MBA program while waiting for their GMA T tests to be completed I found the occasional student who had heard about an MBA decided they wanted an MBA but had no business being in grad school here's the most ridiculous exchange intro to computer science class I usually spent a few moments going through a reminder of basic arithmetic skills me so here is a standard formula we could put into a program G equals minus 5 and to her hand up excuse me what's the - for me what - where her the one before the 5 class starts looking around me that's a negative sign her I've never heard of such a thing entire class is now looking at her me I assure you it exists worst grade on midterm she never picked it up one of my students who knew her told me she was pretty upset with me I'm sure she was I taught daycare for four years my favorite was when a four-year-old would curse it usually went like this crap Jack said grab miss thick [ __ ] they said crap who said crap my dad says you can't say crap my dad says crap all the time my grandma was a kindergarten teacher for a long time and has some funny stories in one of these a little quiet kid randomly came up to her and said mrs. H Jimmy said the frick word I taught a summer school bio class for remedial students a few years ago we were talking about viruses and I mentioned that herpes was a virus a girl in the front row raised her hand and asked if it was possible to catch herpes from fellatio I said yes and the girl said oh crap then took out her phone and started texting I just quickly moved on with the lesson my friend is a teacher and he has told me several stories but two from the same student always make me laugh now to preface his stories the student in question is somewhat backwards and country kind a pudgy with a bad haircut in glasses story one my friend is standing at the front of the room as class is about to begin the student comes barging in the room and basically yells at my friend mr. G I don't need your questions I just need answers can I go to the bathroom my friend was somewhat stunned then as he was holding back laughter he said sure story - my friend is walking down the hallway headed to his classroom as the Bell is just run but the hallway is basically empty except for the aforementioned bathroom student he's standing at his locker with his backpack right in front of it my friend walks over and says to the student hey you need to get to class to which the kid responds I'm headed there in a second mr. G my friend sees him messing with his backpack and being secretive fearing he may have something drugs weapon et Cie he asks him what he's doing the kid pulls his hands out of his locker and is holding two small Turtles I teach undergrad courses I caught a student that had plagiarized a few paragraphs in one of her papers I asked her to stay after lecture and sat her down asking if she had plagiarized her paper her eyes got huge she welled up and then she said I did I'm so sorry I was so tired and had so much work my roommate told me to do it and said you would never find out then with the most serious expression she whispered and I know now she's the devil I did not laugh even though I really wanted to I was a student when this happened but a friend accidentally said octopuses have a testicles instead of eight tentacles when reading in a science class the teacher was having a very hard time holding back laughter I accidentally said the same thing in front of my in-laws they won't let me live it down not a teacher but in my kids class when they were smaller they used to do news where each kid would tell the class about something interesting that happened one of the teachers told me this one little girl said I couldn't sleep last night so I came back downstairs and mommy and daddy was sunbathing in front of the fire all I can think about is that scene from Videodrome not my story but my little brothers when he was in first grade he told his teacher a joke bro why did Captain Hook die teacher I don't know why bro because he wiped with the wrong hand apparently she had to step out of the room for several minutes so she wouldn't be seen laughing at his joke I don't quite understand why teachers can't laugh at students jokes there were fish tanks in our high school biology lab a student pulled some brightly colored fish gravel out dried it off gave it to two of the popular girls and told them it was pop rocks they tried to eat it which obviously didn't go well so they of course loudly complained to the teacher when the teacher got involved the instigator said everyone knows we're not allowed to eat in the biology lab so it's really their own fault for breaking the rules the bio teacher did his best not to laugh and no one was punished I'm obviously a student not the teacher I watched one of the sternest teachers I've ever had nearly crack once we are in the classroom one kid dares another to sniff a typic spot white out in class while the teachers back is turned kids sniffs tippex and then another kid slaps the tippex upwards his nose and a large portion of his face is now covered in so in other words quick drying paint at which point he standards up and says mace the teacher turns round to see this kid about 15 years old at a time dripping tippex and merely laughs full-on in his face but manages to just get it under control then sends him off to go clean him up the tippex kid nearly made her break had gain when he started trying to explain the incident I was applying typic says kid and then what happened says teach i perfer for words I had forgotten about a word it makes until now brings back old memories my wife is an elementary art teacher which basically means constant stories my favorite is from a time when kindergartners were playing with play-doh class was ending and one little fella with a light speech impediment was just standing there looking down wife checks to make sure he's okay he turns around showing the little play-doh snake he's holding to his crotch and says look either whiner TLDR either whiner please tell me you say this when initiating steamy times not me but a friend of mine my friend mr. B is teaching and the kids are doing a worksheet without talking suddenly a kid stands up and pushes his books and things off the desk and turns to the girl to the right of him and says [ __ ] you smell like hot dog water I don't know how he kept a straight face I once saw a large black girl at my school standing by herself sniff both her armpits and say ma fat butt smells like gy Ross my friends and I were laughing pretty hard at that one my boyfriend of the time had just broken up with me a week earlier I was working in small groups with my first graders and one decides to get fresh with me miss deem 9000 872 do you have any kids no no I don't pause because you're not married is that why come ashore Silas that's why another pause it's because no one wants to marry you right maybe it's because I was so emotionally unstable or I actually had run out of emotion but took everything in me not to laugh til my sides hurt I'm not a teacher but I was in talking to my English teacher about an assignment last year while he was marking a year eight assignment for the assignment the students were meant to make example propaganda from Nazi Germany and one year a boy had written on a picture of a concentration camp joined the Nazis and you get free pajamas safe to say she was in hysterics while telling me how she had to call his parents I'm having a hard time thinking of 1bc honestly I will laugh at all the stupid things my students do but here's one in my physics class we were studying thermodynamics and I had my class making heat engines we were working off a very loose definition that a heat engine is any device that uses heat energy to do work aka make something move I had shown them a few examples one of which was a balloon on top of a flask that expanded as the water in the flask turned to vapor their task was to design a heat engine of their own different than the examples and build it with what we had in the classroom or what they brought in I'm still not sure how they got it by me I suppose there were a lot of groups working at once I like to think of my classroom as organized chaos but one group decided that they were going to use the balloon flask idea since they had to make it different than what I show them instead of a balloon they used a condom I don't want to think too hard no pun intended about how it got there did they bring it from home did someone already have it on hand did they grab it from the Wellness Center but I let it slide BC hey it fit my rules it wasn't until they were demonstrating to the class how it worked and we were watching a limp condom slowly erect that I thought are maybe we should have pulled out TL DR creative kids get away with a steam-powered boner in class brilliant TL DR I've always wanted a steam-powered boner one of my middle school teachers was taking attendance one day and said semen instead of Simon for one of the kids in the class guy laughed for about five minutes I used to teach karate we have these large kicking bags every we're around the room they a solid plastic on the bottom and soft on the part where you kick them and about five feet tall they look awesome to climb on if you're four but we don't allow that so one day some kid named Jack is climbing on top of one of the bags and my coworker yells across the room jack off I had to leave the room from laughing my coworker did not understand what was so funny not a teacher myself but in high school I had this history teacher mr. Bress he was a great teacher witty funny genuinely loved history didn't favor the preps and Jack's like most of the other teachers which was an absolute epidemic in my school being that we lived in a college town famous for its football team didn't put up with crap from anyone etc one day one of the exceptionally ditzy cheerleaders asked him what the homework assignment was after he'd already repeated it several times one of the stoner girls yelled out oh my god you dumb B he already said it three times the whole class just died he issued the standard okay quiet down but you could clearly see mr. Bress stifling laughter my high school history teacher was the same way one day a ditzy blonde picked an argument with him and retorted at one point with mr. what hen you're just jealous because I actually have friends to which he responded no Dana you're just jealous my friends stick around after the part is over it went over her head at a time but I sincerely wished she's figured it out since my friend's wife is a high school music teacher and she told me a story she went into class and was getting set up when she sees this kid take his trombone and place it between his legs and slid the slide out going look I got a tromboner she said it was very difficult to discipline him while not laugh-in her butt off i confiscated a balloon from a kid one day because he was making that really loud squeaky noise with it two minutes later I looked over and he had another balloon a blue one this time took that one too next time I turned my head he pulled out another one red took it this went on for another two minutes or so which counted another three balloons I finally asked him how much longer this was going to go on to which he just kind of shrugged his shoulders well are many more balloons do you have I asked him I dunno couple he said as he opened his backpack his backpack was literally full of balloons there were at least a couple hundred in there no books no pencils no spare room for anything else save for the five or six balloons that I had confiscated a few minutes prior there were four or five pockets on the bag that I asked him to empty which were all filled with balloons as well all in all the kid was very dedicated to the gag so I told him that if he promised to do the same thing to another particular teacher he could get them back at the end of the class this comment has been overwritten by an open-source script to protect this user and APIs s privacy it was created to help protect users from Daxing stalking and harassment by work in print school kids come out of the bathroom with their pants down all the time if they can't do the zipper or whatever but one time a particular boy came running as fast as his pants around the ankles self could possibly run and screamed look what I can do and proceeded to pee on the floor we think he had just then figured out how to pee standing up I pulled one of my students out of a fifth grade classroom foreign moment's to help him calm down he was upset because a student he didn't like laughed of him so I start with something along the lines of you can't change him but you can change how you react and he responds with I can change his face with my fist I wanted to acknowledge it was the perfect comeback but I sternly addressed the aggression instead I was showing my 8th graders how objects fall at the same rate regardless of mass I dropped a medicine ball with a basketball on top of it the way they bounce makes the basketball go soaring anyway I had a sprained wrist at the time so one of my students offered to drop the balls for me but when he did the sketball hid the medicine bullet an odd angle and bounced back at him and hit him right in the nuts classroom of children aged six eight I tell them to do some math operations individually I see that one of the children is copying her desk mats instead of doing her work herself but I say nothing when they are finished I tell the children to hand me their notebooks and move to a different part of the room for a different activity except the one who was copying to that one I say to do her math work again since I saw her copying from child a so she turns to me indignantly and yells that's a lie I didn't copy from child a I copied from child B not a teacher but as a student this happened in my high school biology class my biology teacher told us to get a pair of those latex free rubber gloves from the box near the lab benches a classmate raises her hand and says Ms teacher you need more gloves you only have right-handed gloves double-quote classroom gives that WTF look then Bert's out laughing when we see the teacher losing it while discussing a book wherein a girl has an affair with a dentist a student raised his hand and said what do Kathy and cavities have in common they both get filled by dentists when the librarian was fussing around with an audio cable that wasn't working a girl said just pull it out the kit and stick it back in that's what my boyfriend doesn't it works most of the time I asked my class if anyone could define the word excruciating and when no one raised their hand a student said thanks Obama I love my job we were sitting in a reading circle reading the particularly tragic part of Bridge to Terabithia my fifth graders were getting teary and it was rather emotional out of nowhere the quietest kid in the class releases the largest reverberating fart needless to say he was mortified the kids were laughing uproariously and I was attempting to maintain some sort of composure and then another this time from me as I moved over to reorganize the circle oh yeah it was over I'm a math teacher and one February I gave my students an assignment where they were to write a simple one-page paper on a black mathematician it was an extremely simple assignment that could be completed in 30 minutes one kid turns it in and it's clearly plagiarized he's simply copied and pasted an article off the internet and even left the links underlined in the copy he turned in the school policy I gave him a zero wrote him up and called his mom to explain what he had done a defense you never said in the directions he couldn't plagiarize it was all I could do to keep from laughing at her on the phone with a huge grin on my face I calmly said well when you walk into a bank there are no signs saying don't drop the bank it's just understood the entire school had to go to the auditorium to watch her presentation on the dangers of basically anything in life a major focus of it was grand theft auto they showed clips of guys hitting women with golf clubs and running H over to get their money back and they would end each one of those with you could turn out this way if you are not careful fast forward to last our Spanish class we were into the history teachers room because the Spanish room was having the radiator fixed the Spanish teacher is telling us this Spanish folk tale about this woman who had 100 kids one kid was so jealous his mom was giving the other 99 kids attention he killed them leaving him to be the only child my friend says out loud huh he must have played Grand Theft Auto as a kid from the corner of the room we hear how them see the history teacher bury his head in his arms to hid the laughter had a sub for my eighth grade class one day returned the next day to a scathing note from the sub about one of my students abhorrent behavior she actually used the word abhorrent when I got to the bottom of it here is what had happened the sub was a fairly cute younger woman one of my male students had walked up to the sub and asked hey Mays sub laddie I lost my phone number can I have yours that was it I had to discipline the kid because of how offended the sub was but I was holding back a chuckle the entire time on another occasion we had to watch some lame school district mandated video and Mayan Taiyo class was clearly about to die from boredom I had a big container of rubber bands at my desk so I sat there during the film and shot them out into the class everyone was trying to contain themselves because they thought that one of their classmates was getting away with it at one point I fired one often did hit one of those aluminum louver deals that is attached to those long fluorescent lights it made a loud ting sound and all of my students were about to bust up laughing gota give the kid credit for having the balls right took my kids out on a lesson trip we had to get a train somewhere and one of my students is only eight years old so I'll let em go through the ticketed Berea with me yet he wasn't quick enough in the barrier smacked him in the face I've never wanted to laugh so hard in my life used to teach high school here in the u.s. I'm in the front of the classroom talking about SOI geometry and balancing reactions out of the corner of my eye I see two girls talking to each other and not paying attention to me the rest of the class was though so I didn't want to pause the class just to get their attention I sort of ignore them for the duration of the lecture and keep observing them out of the corner of my eye waiting for them to look over at me the one girl shows the other girl her palms like they're about to give each other a double high-five while the other was visibly nodding her head in agreement the second girl then begins to cut her own boobs and then the first girl says something like wow you're right and she moves her hands to the other girl's chest warning lesbian schoolgirl fantasy ends here at this point I finally catch their eyes and I mouth the words what the frick to them they immediately sit up straight and they pay attention for the rest of the lesson during individual study time I go up to the two of them and was about to tell them how inappropriate their actions were especially when surrounded by teenage boys who'd get a raging boner from well anything as I'm walking up to them they take a look at me look down at my hands and then begin to freak out and saying oh my god repeatedly with no advance warning they then grabbed my hands and do they whole hand size comparison thing I'm a lanky six and a half foot tall man with large features I can palm a basketball they then begin explaining how they were talking about how big their hands or boyfriend's hands had to be to fully cover their boots not wanting to hear more I start shaking my head incredulously what the frig and begin walking away their last remark to me was you can get any girl you want with those hands mr. big come took a ton of willpower not to turn around smirk and give the two of them bro fists don't you dare turn that last statement into something pervy if you are new to the channel you can subscribe I publish new videos every day until then check another video [Music] bye for now

Channel: Updoot Everything

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Rating: 4.9245033 out of 5

Keywords: school, teachers, high school, funniest, teacher stories, school stories, class room, class, #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, \r, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny reddit stories, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, reddit stories 2019, people of reddit, sub, reddit cringe, memes, toadfilms, updoot everything, updoot reddit, story, stories, rslash, comedy, fresh

Id: zU2T97ZZw-8

Length: 31min 57sec (1917 seconds)

Published: Wed Jun 17 2020