What's Your "People of Walmart" Story?

nsw walmart workers of redit what's your people of walmart story not an employee at walmart but i stopped shopping there when i went to college the local walmart was notoriously bad one three times in a row i went there and walked down an aisle just in time to see a kid peeing themselves in the aisle and no parent was in sight two the city made big news when the walmart men's restroom was found to have a makeshift and lab in one of the stalls three our area was predicted for a moderate snowstorm but the weather forecasters gave ridiculous numbers like they claimed we would have six inches of ice and two feet of snow in that one night us rational people knew and were right that we'd probably get four inches of snow but many people swarmed the walmart and a few people made a facebook page showing how devastated the walmart was in preparation for snowpocalypse 2011. the facebook page showed pictures as the store was swept clean within a couple of hours of ramen wine milk and cheese my favorite picture that someone put up was the 40 year old man who had a shopping cart with 37 gallons of milk in it nothing else just a fuckton of milk okay so i was leaving walmart with my purchases as i walked to my car in the parking lot i saw a pair of adult sweatpants sitting in the sort of pile they do when someone steps out of them with a massive messy crap on top of them i had so many questions where did the person go after detonating these pants into the store just bottomless into their car with crappy butt cheeks amazing i don't work at walmart but when i was halfway across the country visiting some friends the walmart and their town had her in lab bust in the men's restroom good old muncie indiana i used to attend college in that town i had just graduated high school and took a job at willow world since they always paid above minimum wage up here on the most part canadian walmart is completely different from the wtf mecca that is the american one i guess the main thing that stuck was during the summer i was working as a truck unloader in the back and had to bring out a skid of diapers and such to the infant section as i approached i noticed a smell at first i thought it was that goddamn bird that always flew around i figured i hadn't seen it in days so maybe it had died somewhere around there and was stinking up the place i dropped the skid off and went past the women's change rooms that's where all the girls who worked in clothing hung out i was hoping to say hi to everyone but i noticed they had delta split from that location reason they moved it was the epicenter of the smell to this day i have never smelled anything quite like it i've worked in a microbiology lab growing mold and fungi i've worked in hospitals and smelled all sorts of nasty i put in some time in pathology labs needless to say i have smelled a whole bunch of horrible things in my life but nothing compares to that walmart scent what was it you ask well it turns out an elderly lady had gone into the change room and taken a giant coke can with gray colored crap with flecks of black in it and fresh blood coating some of it all over the floor the whole thing must have weighed two pounds easy she wrote a little letter and left it in the room with the clothes she was trying on all the letter said was i am so sorry needless to say i think granny had something horribly wrong with her because crap doesn't smell like that to this day i assumed the black in the crap was dried blood from some internal issue and i figured she tore her butthole pushing that monster out the smell though ugh it's like if you huff an abscess while smearing yourself with durian fruit while taking a crap it was easily the worst smelling thing i have ever experienced tl dr some grandma took a horribly thick crap on the floor which had blood on it i'm a nursing student and have smelled my fair share of nasty things and expect plenty more to come as it's part of the job you've pretty much smelled the worst of the worst looks like a combination of steeto here fatty stools and molina resulting from a gi bleed i've smelled burned flesh and necrotic tissue nothing is worse emo than gi bleed stools i'm sorry you had to encounter that just last week i was unloading a truck in the back and this morbidly obese woman hobbles through the big associates only doors bends over and takes a crap on the floor pulls her pants back up and walks out i got written up for yelling what the actual frick but after the managers looked at the camera they thought it was justified for me to yell that and let me off with a warning i don't know what happened to her but the maintenance guys were pee i feel like walmart is one of the few things where all of the stereotypes and stories you hear are actually really super accurate my experience a very overweight woman with a walker strapped to the back of her electric wheelchair was drinking half and half straight from a carton while she threw loose pairs of sandals all over the floor sounds like some really eccentric performance art fong lactose i don't work there but i have a friend who hasn't been in a walmart in 15 years he flat out refuses to go in for any reason he's a pretty down-to-earth guy not the type who thinks he's better than anyone else but he avoids walmart specifically because of the people who shop there his reasons usually center around crying babies overweight i'll cloggers and the few weird old men who sit by the entrance exit gawking at the college girls one day my friend and i were looking for a certain product before leaving town on a trip we had been to a few stores around town and i kept telling him i know product x is at walmart we should just go there finally he agrees to visiting big box land but he will go in the home depot next door to look for the product while i go in walmart as soon as i step inside the door i see a massive woman on a motorized shopping cart with her massive 12 year old son standing on the back of it she is screaming at him saying now you get offer their boy or something like that his retort freak you mama you ain't even handicapped i got the product we needed that day but now i do my best to avoid walmart target where people pay a little bit more not to have to step foot in a walmart 5 a.m the day after christmas we were at 24 hours walmart but closed on christmas day and reopened the following morning at 6 00 am there are lines of people out the doors waiting to return items i'm stuck as the only person on this entire side of the store i'm covering sporting goods hardware automotive and toys a fairly irate man sticks his head around one of the toilets and sees me behind the sporting goods counter he yells i need some help in toys i say and saunter over and he starts screaming about how he bought this tony hawk remote control toy for his son and it didn't come with a battery are you telling me my son can't play with his christmas toys it was a very hot holiday item that year and the box clearly stated the battery packs were sold separately terrible idea btw i inform him of this and he screams again waving around the only remaining tony hawk toy demanding to know where the batteries are i point to the empty space and little label next to where he picked up the toy and say we're sold out the man goes red in the face and begins screaming at me how in the frick can you be out of them i bought one and i didn't get a battery this is freaking ridiculous etc i'm handling it with a fair amount of grace and i apologize and try to explain that it was a hard ticket item this year and we are expecting some more to be in later in the weekend in the course of his screaming rage a fat projectile ball of spit leaves his mouth and splatters across my face something in me just snaps and i begin screaming at him that day i don't work in toys i work in sporting goods and i'm covering toys for the morning b it's not my fault you didn't buy the freaking battery when you had a chance see there is nothing i can do for you good day my favorite part was that about an hour later a call comes over the intercom for someone in toys to take a call i take it and a woman asks if i am the young man who works in sporting goods that was covering toys an hour earlier i confirm that i am embraced for the rantings of whatever which married the man who spit in my face an hour ago danny it's him get on the phone now the woman screams at her husband to get on the phone while he begins apologizing to me for the way he behaved earlier stating he knows it wasn't my fault his wife yelling at him in the background the entire time was fantastic closure to the whole thing woman paid for her goods placed them into her cart and began to walk to the exit she was nearly there when she stopped and shook her leg big old turd hit the floor she continued onto the door crackhead came into the store picked up a few things then went over to where the bathroom scales were placed a few things on the floor began taking off her clothes all of them stood on the scale to see if it was accurate when ap came over to toss her out she picked up her clothes and began to go out the door the things she picked up at the store was under her clothes and she tried to walk out of the store naked trying to steal her goods man walks into the store during summer hoodie zipped up and hood up bought jeans and t-shirt went into the bathroom came out in the new clothes hood down shaved head with tattoos all over left the store came back in a few minutes later to steal a cap to cover tattoos ap detained him cops were called cop cars all over the parking lot evidently the guy shot another man in the back of the head at a quinceanera guy standing outside the store telling customers he was going in to shoot the place up cops showed up he ran into the store wouldn't leave with the cops got belligerent stated he had a gun in his pocket nice little standoff man got taste in aisle seven of the grocery side i was stalking aisle six my first tasseling i worked at walmart for three years while i was attending high school so here's a list of some things comma someone leave their crap covered boxes in the dressing room comma a drunk elderly woman who pulled out her tea and started trying on bras in front of customers comma one of the managers get arrested for embezzling over eighty thousand dollars comma someone punch our store manager in the face on black friday coma a lady who stole a cart full of laptops by putting them in empty puzzle boxes comrade lady getting her daughter to steal for her coma a guy pass out and almost die from huffing computer duster coma the countless times people walked out with televisions commemorate lost prevention associate get in a fight for following around a man and his family comma hundreds of thieves comma creepy old men following around young women and children comma someone wanting to buy a pair of nasty old shoes that someone swapped out for new ones comma a guy shook my hand then turned around and had a huge crap stain on his pants i'm sure there's more that i can't think of at the moment even after all of that i still don't regret working there i made some amazing friends and it was always a surprise when you clocked in for the day i don't work there but this lady started screaming about a golden lab service dog being too close to her child the child was sitting in a cart in the checkout line and the dog was calmly sitting on the floor behind her the dog doesn't bark lick move nothing and then the woman gets ghetto and starts shouting at everyone in sight she had to be escorted from the store and never got to buy her stuff lol at least walmart protected the real victim i worked at walmart about three years ago during the holiday season as happens every year black friday was upon us my job for the day was to guard a pallet if two dollars waffle irons that went on sale at eight o'clock but the crowd came and everything was mostly peaceful until about 7 50. that is when people started taking the items early while trying to be sneaky about it they thought i actually cared or would try to stop them then the clock struck kate and all heck broke loose the next thing i know i've been pulled to the ground and people are stepping on me luckily an old man grabbed my head and pulled me up after getting two waffle irons for himself he yelled come with me boy if you don't wanna get crushed again and we escaped through the frozen food section i thanked him and then walked outside to smoke while outside i felt a pain so i removed my shirt to see a nice large shoe print on my chest people are crazy lol come with my if you want to live don't have any stories too crazy but my personal favorite involves working the self checkouts most boring job i've ever had now most people use self checkouts for speed convenience or because they're embarrassed of what they're buying not realizing that everything they ring up shows up on our monitor a trio of high schoolers come through ring up a few items and then wave me down to take off the spider wire on a 500 digital camera i check my monitor and see no camera on their lane walk over and notice they've taken the sticker off of a bag of grapes that is sold by weight and put it on the camera upc basically trying to buy the camera for like five bucks seeing an opportunity i say oh weird this got messed up when it got run through as friendly as i possibly can delete the grapes take the sticker off run it for the correct price take the spider wire off and place it in their bag leaving them with a bill over 500 they all get these really panicked looks on their faces and one finally says on second thought we don't want the camera i ask them if they're sure delete the camera and wire it back up as they're leaving i tell them to have a nice day after foiling their master plan of attempting to steal a digital camera there's this awful place called aberdeen where even if you escape and become rich and famous you still want to shoot yourself i pulled into the walmart there because we were heading to the beach and we forgot towels right past the checkouts they had dumped a big pile of shoes and put up a sign that said clearance 80 off so these fat people in pajamas were rooting through like pigs at a trough as we were walking by and then the smell hit us crap someone had crap sure enough this big fat wide bent over butt had a black greasy skid right down the middle of their gray sweatpants we turned right around and left we ended up finding a slightly more depressing store across the river swanson's or some crap everyone was wearing camo i'm sure this isn't a rare thing because it happens to me almost daily i work in the back unloading the trucks most days we finish pretty early leaving us with about 2-4 hours to stock shelves every day someone walks up to me and just says the name of what we are looking for pipe cleaners i always imagine that they are starting some kind of call back system to see if i'm cool like there is some kind of a return phrase where they will tell me about their secret plan like eggs and i say baking soda and the customer just drops the plans on me or that they are aliens trying out proper nouns to see if they have them right before trying to take over humanity maybe i just have too much time to think about nothing at my menial job i used to manage the health and beauty department at a walmart in a not so nice part of the town i thankfully escaped i had so many people at walmart instances that i'll just share my favorites an older woman 50s came in and said she was looking a shampoo that would treat scabies i told her i didn't think we had anything specific for it but i would help her find something close in the medicated shampoo section i turn my back to her and start going through the merchandise looking for something that would work she says my you have such pretty hair and i feel her hand on my head i jumped back from her so fast i almost knocked over an entire end cap she was pretty offended by my overreaction i thought i was justified in not wanting to be touched by someone that was currently suffering from an infestation a bill collector called the store looking for someone that didn't work there anymore i told him as much and he proceeded to cuss me out and said he was going to sue me i hung up on him about five times that day we had a group of diehard nra people threatened to come in the store with their rifles as a protest our store manager did the one good thing he's ever done and called the cops on them someone died in the bathrooms twice one was unfortunately an elderly woman having a heart attack the other was a guy that oh deed had vagrants follow me to my car multiple times to help me put my groceries in the car it got bad enough i stopped shopping there at all if i had to buy things it had to be something i could carry i got pulled into a loss prevention bust when they caught a crack addict loading up a cart and trying to walk out the door she had legitimate border lamp and wanted to put it in her car when the police officers took her to the car they found stolen items from other stores in the area so i helped bust a theft ring and my most visually memorable customer was a fat black lady riding around on one of those electric carts it was hers not the stores she had three inch neon yellow nails on all 20 digits hemp flip-flops a baby blue valley a jogging suit way the frick too much makeup a straw samurai hat and was literally dragging a chihuahua on a leash behind her if i was a braver person i would have taken a picture the person described in the last paragraph sounds amazing i might start believing in a higher power were right to see that in real life my buddy was a loss prevention officer for wm he walked around the store all day catching shoplifters one day after working there for about half a year he saw a woman stuffing merchandise into her children's clothes when he approached her she started yelling and screaming that he was trying to molest her kids then she started spitting on him and saying that she had aids he quit later that day and i don't blame him my own personal list of stupid i had to put up with one excuse me where's the closest walmart from here well it's about 10 miles down road from here i was told there was one in this town though mum you're standing in that one two hey where can i get the thing that goes in the thing to make the thing bigger toys hey you're right three dude can you get that big moving pepsi off the back shelf for me that's a tv commercial so so are you going to get it or not 4. what's the best slow cooker for making m5 i need to install the internet on my computer okay well were you looking for a wi-fi adapter or running a hard line no i want to install the internet mom the internet isn't something you install you connect to the internet through a computer via a nice no i want to install the internet i ain't paying each month for it mom that's not how this works get me your manager manager walks over this guy won't tell me how to install the internet mom that's because you can't install the internet is everyone here stupid or just you shoots six excuse me i need those things that go into the stuff so it happens i'm sorry can you repeat that i need those things that make the stuff do those things can you tell me what these things look like maybe well they're small unless they're big and sometimes round or square or funny shaped okay what kind of stuff is happening then well all kinds of things skip ten more minutes of similar q and a mom can you give me just one specific example of the stuff that happens it's the same kind of stuff that comes out of the wall holes that makes my hair dryer work electricity yes i want those small electric things that do stuff batteries are right over here is that what they are called that's a funny name i have avoided my local walmart for six plus years at this point my local walmart is one of the worst and i have had friends work at walmart throughout my town and they all confirm my story is one of many so my car doesn't have an aux plug-in but it does have a cassette player so i buy the cassette that has the plug attached to it which for the record i'm convinced is musical witchcraft they are pretty cheaply made so i have to replace them every seven months or so target usually has what i need but they happen to be out of stock that day walmart was in the same mall so i just decided to suck it up and go i walk to the electronics section grab what i need and head to the electronics checkout a lady sees me heading there and runs not fast walk runs to get in front of me in line with my one thing i just think whatever she probably doesn't have much either that's why she wanted to get in front of me then she calls for her husband to wheel the cart over which has a freaking tv and whole entertainment center loaded onto i'm pretty pee but i'm a chill guy and keep my composure now buying a tv is a fairly long process but it's even longer when none of you eight cards work she then starts getting in an argument with her husband that he's a piece of crap that's why they don't have money they start fighting finally the guy at the register sees i have one thing and asks if they would step to the side so he could ring up my one item the lady gets mad at him and says no the husband yells at her and says to let me go while he figures out what went wrong finally i get rung up a transaction that took 45 seconds i'm trying to hightail it out of the store at this point when i'm stopped by a crowd of people in the middle of the walkway i'm tall so i look over everyone to see what's going on and i see two checkout women literally fist fighting each other while their co-workers cheer them on i turned went out the garden section and have never gone back sorry for the wall of text tl dr went to walmart to buy less than five dollars item ended getting stuck behind couple fighting about buying a tv then see employees physically fighting not a walmart employee but i was a coke merchandiser and had a walmart as my first stop for a year i'll never forget one friday morning i was there i had been on the job for about two months and nothing prepared me for what i was about to see it was 430 in the morning and i had just pulled a pallet out to the floor to start restocking our display there was a very large woman that shopped every friday morning around the time i started working and i had spoken to her on occasion she usually asked about my job how i was doing etc the previous week she had taken things a little too far and made me feel uncomfortable when she said oh honey there is nothing hotter than a man in uniform especially one that works hard and is all sweaty then she went and waddled past me while rubbing my back all i could say was what the frick just happened anyways this particular morning she came in on a power scooter and bee lined it straight for me i was still reeling from the previous week and could only muster or what happened she responded by saying oh sugar you just knocked me off my feet i couldn't walk today when i saw you she then proceeded to grab a couple too i love coke off the palate shook them up while i can only guess was her attempt at working in her scooter and then opened them spraying it all over me and herself it clicked she was trying to be hot then she rolled off slowly leaving a trail of soda behind her and turned around winking at me thinking i would follow i never saw him again after that i didn't want to see her after that and to make it all worse i had to clean that crap up completely covered in sticky butt coke frick walmart even if i were into larger women she had to have been 70 years old she could have at least been a little classier about it pour that crap in a champagne glass or something if you are new to the channel you can subscribe i publish new videos every day until then check another video [Music] bye for now

Channel: Updoot

Views: 74,570

Rating: 4.848681 out of 5

Keywords: walmart, people of walmart, only at walmart memes, only at walmart, walmart worker, walmart workers be like, #updootst, updoot, updoot reddit, updoot everything, reddit on tap, toadfilms, pewdiepie, reddit, askreddit, funny reddit, reddit stories, top posts, reddit top posts, reddit cringe, comedy, reddit compilation, /r, r/, r/askreddit, top posts of r/, askreddit reading, best reddit posts, top posts of all time, people of reddit, askreddit question, ask reddit, subreddit, sub

Id: gCHA2_jn4X4

Length: 24min 55sec (1495 seconds)

Published: Sat Aug 01 2020