These stories just keep getting worse!

what is your butt weight it gets worse story when we had to put down our family dog of 12 years and on the drive home my parents told my brother and i that they were separating at 14 months old my son was diagnosed with brain cancer at four years old it recurred at 4.5 years old the cancer grew during his stem cell transplant at 4.5 years old i was told to take him home and make him comfortable until he died at 4.7 years old a surgeon took his case and found he had a second form of brain cancer four months later my ex-wife told me she was freaking her prayer partner because i gave my son cancer walked in on my ex having sex with a girl and a guy but wait it gets worse told her it was time for her to move three days later she shows up to get her stuff and smashes me in the face with a table lamp police show up and arrest me but wait it gets worse sitting in the cell for a few hours then two detectives come and take me to an interrogation room they have my pistol sitting on the table along with ammo and a few knives okay no big deal but wait it gets worse one of the detectives leaves comes back a minute later and slams a sawed-off shotgun onto the table wtf apparently her new bow had hidden it in the furnace room took seven years and cost about ten dollars zero zero zero and lawyers fees to get my record cleared but wait it gets worse bish gave me hpv got rear-ended by a truck pulled over to check my trunk on a hilly street a car parked behind me rolled downhill and crushed me between it and my newly messed up trunk suffered some cracked ribs so i found out i had a huge tumor on my ovary it was growing hair then i got surgery to remove it and they found out i had stage four endometriosis which would severely impact future fertility then i go home in extreme pain i go to the ear that night because i'm doubled over and screaming in pain the air tells me it's residual gas from the laparoscopy so then i sit on my recliner for three days crying out in pain and vomiting every single thing i try to ingest not farting or belching at all like you need to do after a laparoscopy to get rid of the excess gas used to inflate the area they work on then i have enough and get my husband to take me to a different hospital they do a scan with contrast die boy was that difficult to keep down long enough for the scan and they find out that i'm bleeding internally and leaking poo into my abdominal cavity then i get taken in for emergency surgery before the surgery i'm informed that there is also a huge tumor in the middle of my right ovary and would have to have it out i could either do it then or at a later date i opt to do it then i wake up from the surgery after four days in a medically induced coma in a different hospital in the ico i'm intubated and have a nathagastic tube i panic and i see a nurse in the hall but can't get her attention i undo my restraint on my left hand and yank out the tubes you can rip out your vocal cords by doing that luckily i didn't and yell for help then i proceed to spend weeks in the hospital recovering eating nothing but soup broth i eventually get upgraded to ensure i get mrsa in the surgical wound and it takes a few rounds of very strong antibiotics to contend with it a bunch of my hair falls out i go home and can't bathe for a few weeks because the incision is still pretty much open they didn't stitch the skin together i have to have a home health nurse visit me every day to clean the wounds it takes about a year to heal i keep getting recurring mrsa infections in the top of the incision site inside of my belly button whenever the mrsa comes back my belly button uses a ton of puffs and blood and forms a giant painful boil it's been two years and this crap is still happening i posted this a long time ago but here it is again i was working for a large hotel chain in london for a few weeks shooting interior slash exteriors for their brochures and i'd end up going from hotel to hotel meeting manager slash assistants who would take me round the hotel all day while i took my photos knowing full well that no one works in a hotel without acquiring some pretty amazing stories i would interrogate each one for their most outrageous tales i got to hear a bunch of stories that ranged from fascinating to dull the origins the famous faces cheating on their spouses the occasional slaughtered goat in the bath incredibly more common than you might think and the time that the cast of friends stayed at the hotel while they were filming those episodes in london one story rose above the rest a gentleman alone in his suite woke up in the middle of the night with a dire need to unload his bowels i mean a really really desperate need to the point that he must have woken up in a panic as he jumped out of bed but naked bolted for the bathroom door and burst inside except he didn't in his tired state and no doubt thanks to his unfamiliarity with the hotel room he bolted for the front door of the room by mistake and let the door shut behind him now this man who both let's not forget feels an agonizing rumbling in his intestines and is as naked as the day he was born suddenly finds himself in the corridor and panics understandably his desire to crap is so strong that it overwhelms any other thought going through his head he must poop he starts banging like a maniac on a neighboring door hoping someone will answer and eventually someone does a man opens up the door probably assuming that a fire has started in the hotel and he's being woken up for an emergency evacuation and in a sense he's half right a naked hero bursts into the room pushing past the confused and bewildered occupant apologizing along the way and makes a break for the bathroom but no he doesn't make it halfway there his sphincter gives in to the pressure and he unloads a spray of effluent across the floor of the stranger some of the foulest smelling waste imaginable is dumped all over over the place in a mottled line leading to the toilet the room's original occupant who was up until this point standing scared bewildered and confused by the door still immediately vomited to his credit the digestively challenged man did make it to the sitting position in the bathroom and sat there crying and apologizing to the vomiting man and eventually the hotel staff for a full 10 minutes while his gut punished him for some earlier indiscretion when the craptor had finished the hotel moved the crp's belongings some of which were speckled with the craft as fesses to a new room and i assume that the crapter had a nice long shower but wait it gets worse in the morning after the debacle the crapter walked into the restaurant for breakfast and who should be there but last night's victim sat eating his corn flakes the two apparently locked eyes where upon last night's memories must have come flooding back to the victim with a vengeance because the poor man in the middle of a crowded room full of people enjoying their food immediately vomited all over the table copied and pasted because i posted this before two of my friends had a falling out i was dying to know what was going on between them because they lived together and i felt like i was watching mommy and daddy get divorced one friend was never around and the other told me he honestly didn't know what going on after a couple months i finally got someone on one time with a friend who wasn't around and he explained everything to me in detail basically he asked if he could date the other friend cousin who emphatically said no but since the other friend had dated his cousin without asking he violated bro code and started seeing her anyway in dating this girl he came to find out that she and the other friend were more than just cousins they had carried on a physical relationship for years basically they freaked like bunnies whenever the family wasn't looking but hold on it gets worse he was told this went on for 10 years the girl was 22 her cousin was 24. they had been having sex since middle school but hold the frick on it gets worse the girl's father and her cousin's father are identical twins let that sink in for a second genetically they are half siblings at that point in the story i down at my drink and apologized for even asking about what was going on i wish i never knew as a follow-up they no longer live together or speak to each other i'm still really close with the incest free friend i see the other friend in passing and we are still friends but it's hard to look him in the eye my mom planned a three-generation trip of a lifetime with my grandpa my brother and me we we are going to stay in vegas for one day go down to a gold mine of one of her friends visit the grand canyon and then fly back from phoenix while making multiple stop on route 66 we were going to leave after my high school graduation on the day of my graduation my grandpa hits his head because the comfort in he is staying in installed new slippery tubs he wasn't the first person injured he did a concussion test on himself and since he didn't have a bump on his head he went to my graduation and went on the trip with us we spent a night in vegas checking out the casinos but my brother and i can't gamble or drink so there wasn't a lot we could do we go to bed and wake up the next morning and went to check out but our grandpa wasn't down yet he doesn't answer his phone and we ask the hotel manager to let us into his room we find him unconscious and unresponsive they take him to a hospital and we find out he has a brain clot they aren't able to treat it so we have to take him off life support and he died seven hours later once we got home we tried to get a death certificate but we are told that it could take between four six weeks for them to give it to us six weeks later we received a death certificate with a mistake because the person who filled it out google dates my grandpa's address instead of using the one we gave them a couple of days ago five weeks later we have received the death certificate in a week my mom and brother are going down to florida to get his stuff but i can't go with them because of college we still don't even know where his woolies and i bet more crap is going to hit the fan in short comforting kills my grandpa immediately after my graduation what happens in vegas stays in vegas including death certificates and i won't be able to go down to my grandpa's house for the last time got hit with a tropical storm it became a hurricane hidden to sink with my cats but couldn't get my dog in cats scratched me and mad on me exited in the morning and the roof was off and the kitchen was flooded my car had taken a direct hit from a power transformer and was completely freaked the road to the house had 10 or 12 downward trees blocking it surrounded by jungle so had to hack my way out with a machete make it to work work is gone the entire office building is gone just debris get chased while dogs on my way to friend's house friend comes over with chainsaw to clear road a freaking tree falls on me no running water or power for months i get fired because there literally is no more work as it doesn't exist buy buy insurance never seen dog since hurricane here is probably either dead or lost takes a year to find a new job in late 2016 my live in girlfriend and i were in a rough patch i was kind of riding it out until the end of the lease to see if things got any better narrator they did not in late october she told me that she was breaking up with me a week later i was laid off she moved out shortly after a few weeks after that i saw on social media that she had gotten engaged sometime after that mutual friends assured me that she had been cheating i found a contract job which i hated while there i started a side contracting gig when the primary contract ended i decided to take my sidekick full time since i suck at sales i couldn't manage to get traction fortunately i'm now in a job i enjoy very much back in the gym losing weight and dating more basically if my life were an nfl team the coach would call this a rebuilding year my wraparound skirt blew away while i was walking down the sidewalk but wait it gets worse it happened right in front of a funeral home and yes there were at least two dozen mourners filing into the building as i chased my skirt down the sidewalk in my panties got my first ever bj from my first ever girlfriend in college we were both wasted and i also did not know what a bj would feel like it didn't feel the best and i was starting to fall asleep so i told her i had came to end it and we fell asleep woke up the next morning and jumped in the shower and experienced what felt like hot lava on my raw skinned bean she had used teeth the whole time and it was rubbing off the skin on the underside of my peen with every bob of her neck but wait it gets worse the next day we go to a football game and she isn't her normal self not holding my hand or really talking to me we get back and she comes up to my app to tell me that she cheated on me with my best friend i had at college and we broke up leaving me alone with my raw bean that took two weeks to heal this is just this year alone my mother died in her sleep i found her had to move out of the home i lived in for 11 years my brother and his gf stole a lot of my things found out both my cats have lung cancer can't have my cats because of where i live my job changed shifts i still have a job just had to take a pay cut and it's even more stressful my bf got really sick my brother not the one that stole my stuff almost died i've been sick and have a lump behind my ear do not have medical insurance one of my cats died today got out of the navy decided to go to college met a girl like the girl it's close to my birthday two years later crossroad to meet my dad he was passing through town for work and dropped off my present gets mashed by himself while on foot my head breaks off his mirror crush the windshield total the car it gets worse the shave the side of my head with a scalpel so they can staple my skin flat back to my skull two weeks later hobble back into my apartment cgf blowing guy on my bed heartbreak anger pain i'm a sith lord by now should have stayed in the freaking navy to [ __ ] to re-enlist thanks god i was at a country concert in the middle of june and was dancing with some friends and all of a sudden they disappeared i was pretty wasted as i'm leaving to go find them this girl grabs my hand and we start dancing one thing leads to another and we started making out until at one point she pulls away and says i don't think my boyfriend would like this i tell her i'm going to grab a drink to get away and she grabs my hand and says she'll come with me here's where it gets worse i run into a customer from the store i work at and start chatting with him the girl with me starts chatting with the customer's girlfriend all of a sudden i hear her tell the customer's girlfriend yeah it's my birthday in september i turn 18 inches nope out of there so fast went on date with girl she did not look like her picture okay whatever but then she yells at me for telling her canada has provinces not providences and insists they are the same i'm from canada then she freaks out because she realizes i work for the same company as her boyfriend who she did not mention to me which would have been fine if he was into open relationships but she hadn't told him yet then she tells me the problem with my company is that keep hiring all these damn immigrants to come take our jobs i'm an immigrant just hired by said company i stared blankly at her waiting for her to clue in she says i mean no offense i don't [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] 2014 my mom died in may then her [ __ ] and poodle katie died my father dies nine weeks four days after my mom just four days before my birthday one week after he passed my rumor got wasted and drove my car into the front of the house we were ending on the day of my father's funeral my room had moved put without notice and steal some of my belongings now we are in september and my boyfriend has a grand mal seizure and requires hospitalization october 2014 my mother's other [ __ ] and poodle has seizures and dies i actually just posted about this in another credit thread so here's a summary with the critical detail i left out because the situation is so bizarre i'm having difficulty believing it myself stuck in mildly crazy mildly crazy when to 11 diagnosed as full-blown paranoid schizophrenia when she got pregnant she ran away accusing me of conspiring with google and iran to turn the kid into a demon and enslave humanity hired investigators to track down kid since she is in no way fit to be a parent turns out i didn't know her real name and she has a bit of a track record back home in the midwest found out a real name from a warrant for parole violation wait for it wait for it kevin whiskey tango foxtrot turns out she was pre-op 14 trans when she got busted for gta and sentenced to two years since being a person with a vag locked up in a men's prison is not most people's idea of a good time she detransitioned and went to women's prison she violated parole pretty much as soon as she got out running to virginia where she met me so i thought i knocked up a mentally ill but basically decent person and it turns out she's a felon on the run and has a history of matthews also she might never have been pregnant but i need to know for sure before i stop looking on the plus side i started cleaning up her stuff from my apartment and have found a bunch of things she bought with my credit cards so far i have a desktop computer printer laptop electric fireplace stand mixer and a time lock safe that has something inside it that i can't yet get in also a vibrating strap on toy my buddy with the wire edm machine is going to break into it this weekend the safe not the toy had debilitating arm pain for a few weeks and spent a lot of money and time going to the doctor trying to get it figured out while navigating the american healthcare system but wait it gets worse my doctor decides that i'm depressed and this is causing my pain he prescribes antidepressants which make me incredibly sick and cause loss of appetite but wait it gets worse i start having chest pain and difficulty sleeping it gets so bad i go to urgent care and they tack on a script for valium i start popping these as often as i can to try and control the pain i'm in slash pass out but wait it gets worse the chest pain starts to get so bad and is accompanied by difficulty breathing so i go to the ur after an emergency court scan it turns out i have a pulmonary embolism but wait it gets worse i'm taken off antidepressants and my birth control pill and put on a loading dose of blood thinners this causes me to have my period but wait it gets worse i start bleeding excessively not to be too graphic but clods the size of baseballs every 10 20 minutes by day two but wait it gets worse i return to the hospital and i'm told i'm just having a bad period and the reason i passed out walking to the bathroom was not from my blood loss but from influenza which i tested positive for i go home and lie on the couch bleeding through my clothing and delirious with fever but wait it gets worse my flu symptoms improve and i'm cleared to fly to go to canada to see my parents for christmas despite still having heavy bleeding my husband has to help me onto the clean because i'm so weak i'm wearing adult diapers because it's the only thing that controls the bleeding but wait it gets worse i make it home to my parents and spend two days in bed on christmas eve i check my heart rate monitor and see that my resting heartbeat is 140 bpm i'm incredibly dizzy and pale at first i attribute this to flu but wait it gets worse i convince my dad and my husband to bring me to the hospital as it turns out my hemoglobin is so low from all the bleeding that at this point i'm in danger of having a heart attack for christmas i get two emergency units of blood and a freak ton of morphine but wait it gets worse the morphine and blood loss combo causes the worse migraine i've ever had in my life i start screaming and puking i need an emergency cord scan on my head my second in just over a week but wait it gets worse luckily my headquarters clear but i continue to have debilitating migraines i spend the next several months recovering and finally and well enough to start functioning like a normal human again then i get a bill from the hospital explaining that my insurance company says that they will not cover my initial court scan the one i had that diagnosed my pen originally because i didn't pre-approve it still currently fighting this with both insurance and the hospital lost my house in both cars with my girlfriend to hurricane florence we were ending it flooded girlfriend loses job i luckily work from home but it gets worse had 65 renters insurance that didn't cover flooding because we weren't in the flood zone swayed us into being it being okay fema only gives a one thousand dollars lost everything barely scratches the surface of just trying to relocate displaced to a rate x8 room with a friend with girlfriend and our two dogs we were originally in north carolina now in virginia beach have to keep driving back and forth to mc on a rental car been doing this almost a month now didn't know anyone i could stay within nc and the shelter made it impossible for me to continue to work from home so we had to find friends here alice has been terminated but owners want to keep the security deposit they want to fight us in court for this money we desperately need even started demoing the houses we were still trying to get whatever stuff survived out two days ago as of today girlfriend ends our four-year relationship perfect timing right losing her and my two dogs can't really figure out why i'll probably find out soon virginia beach is about to get hit by the next hurricane michael looks to be only a tropical storm by the time it gets here i will keep this updated if it gets much worse it hasn't stopped i can finally post this omg omg omg buckle your seat belts grab a plate i'm a hostess at a really fancy restaurant there's this one old couple who are kind of regulars super stinking rich we'll call them mr and mrs green mrs green has i assume some kind of owls because her hand is all shriveled and she can't use it mr green is aware of his wife's situation and does absolutely nothing to assist her makes her open doors doesn't pull out her chair for her doesn't cut her food etc it's almost as if she's one-handed because tasks are difficult for her one night they come in to eat usually mr green is very rude and demands a table that's already been reserved and makes a huge hassle but tonight he was behaved i seat them at their table pull out the chair for mrs green and a huge smile appears on her face she gives me the biggest thank you ever it's as if that's the nicest thing that's ever been done for her her husband apparently doesn't do it work is busy as usual there's me and another hostess let's call her lucy lucy is seating a party and i'm up at the front answering phone calls all of a sudden mrs green comes up waddling to me she grabs my arm as if her life was in danger she says to me help me is everything all right ma'am i just pooped my pants lord why me i honestly didn't know what to do what did she want from me okay the restrooms are right over here i need you to help me in there oh um i was hoping she was pulling a prank on me i was speechless after what seemed like forever i said okay i'll meet you in there after i seat this party she said okay and went to the bathroom i grabbed lucy and told her what happened she had no idea what to do either we thought about getting her husband but we knew he was useless lucy kept doing her job while i checked on mrs green i went to the bathroom and there is mrs green in an open stall on the toilet i looked away and asked you hh is there anything i can do for you can you get me a plastic bag for my underwear phew i thought she was gonna ask me to wipe her or something i went and got her a plastic bag after i handed it to her i asked is there anything else i can do for you yes watch the door cause i'm gonna come out and wash myself in the sink it's okay ma'am i can just hand you wet paper towels no i need the sink jesus joseph and mary i go out and watch the door thankfully nobody came by i went back into the bathroom and asked are you gonna be okay no i need help pulling up my pants f and that i literally held my breath and braced for the worst everything seemed going fine until the very last second where i accidentally touched her ass i scolded my hand like there was no tomorrow i helped her back to her table and pulled out her seat again she leans over to her husband and says honey we have to go i just pooped my pants you know what mr green said we are not leaving this is a nice restaurant and i want to finish my dinner my heart sank i wanted to scream there was nothing else i could do though i go back to my hostessing duties and tell lucy everything after a little while later the greens are leaving mrs green is just mere steps from the door when she stops and says oh not again she pooped her pants again this time both me and lucy help her to the bathroom i'm not doing this crap again literally this time lucy helped her in the stall if you recall mrs green already soiled her underpants so she was wearing just regular pants now and now everything is ruined there was literally nothing we could do when mrs green comes out of the stall tears are streaming down her face from embarrassment i felt awful we walk her out to the front of the restaurant where mr green is waiting for her not happy he groans and opens the door so fast that he almost hits mrs green we decided to walk her to her car that was the worst work experience of my life wait it gets worse the greens still come back every now and then mrs green doesn't even remember me she came up to me another day and said i'm sorry dear but i need some help in the restroom yes this is my life i told management of this problem and they didn't seem to [Music] care [Music] [Music] [Music] you

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Keywords: reddit, askreddit, askreddit funny, top posts, top posts of r/, r/, r/askreddit, reddit top posts, reddit cringe, comedy, reddit compilation, top posts of all time, askreddit question, askreddit top posts, ask reddit, askreddit reading, subreddit, reddit stories, best of r/askreddit, funny reddit, best reddit posts, best of reddit, reddify, toadfilms

Id: jd2MhjlXkpY

Length: 30min 59sec (1859 seconds)

Published: Wed Aug 12 2020