What's Your Most Insane "No Time To Explain, Lets Go" Story?

rajat what's your best no time to explain let's go story a few years back my brother pulled up to my house with a paintball gun and told me to get in he hands me the gun and says you'll know when to shoot we go on a short drive to a corner where some kids began to egg his truck I knew when to shoot my archaeology crew and I was stuck in La Paz Bolivia because of civil unrest that cut the roads leading to our dig site we had been hanging out in La Paz for two weeks trying to stay as warm as possible and waiting for any opening in the demonstrations the Bolivian army fired into a crowd killing several demonstrators and both sides call a truce for 24 hours that morning our professor ran into our rented apartment and yelled for us to grab all our gear we have five minutes to leave we had no idea what was going on the prof took the next combi and my poor Spanish skills meant I couldn't ask questions of my fellow passengers we boarded one of the first canvas out of La Paz and head up to the Altiplano on the road we pass huge roadblocks burning tires piles of broken glass and various debris with just enough room for a small car to make it through the roadblocks resumed that night we made it far enough to hike the remaining 12 hours to the site next day and then we started digging archaeology done right went to a bar W some friends and my parents in my hometown for my 21st birthday turns into a good six hours of drinking went to the bathroom and while closing the lid after finishing the entire bottom of the bowl shatters I was legally drunk for my first time in said bar and proceeded to urge very loudly that we needed to leave no I don't think you understand I destroyed a toilet let's go there is just something about the destruction of a toilet that makes any story enjoyable when I was 8 my parents took me over to their friend's house for an early dinner party they had a daughter my age who was also my friend she was really into animals and nature so she wanted me to go with her about a block down her streets to investigate a bird's nest she saw earlier in a tree we go she starts climbing I'm on the ground watching then about half a block away this hippy looking surfer dude with long blonde hair and wearing nothing but shorts walks out of this house and notices us I noticed him for about two seconds and then look back up in the tree as my friend next I hear a loud whistle and when I look back in the direction of the surfer dude he has his shorts down around his ankles with his Willy whacker out in all its glory I yell run my friend is clueless but somehow she manages to jump out of the tree and we run back to her house as fast as our pint-sized legs will carry us luckily my dad and her dad were right inside and when I yelled there's a naked man chasing us they were outside almost immediately they find the surfer dude standing right in front of their driveway I remember my dad saying hey man are you pulling your pants down in front of children and the guy responding with something like Frick you man and then walking away the amazing thing is that we called the cops and they came over to file a report but they recommended not pressing charges because the guy knew where we lived and might seek revenge this was back in the mid-1970s I would have kicked his butt if I were your dad hurricane Shelley was going to do a normal ride out the storm situation and play video games and eat junk food all weekend while it's rained outside I got a call from a buddy who'd said the hurricane just turned 90 degrees and made landfall in Sanibel like 2025 miles away I rushed into my roommates room and said grab two days worth of clothes we're getting the Frick out of here when we came back to the house it had been destroyed the roof leaked and held water in the ceiling until it completely caved in completely destroying everything we had in there I was in high school and despite a hot girl waiting for the bus being me and knowing I would just awkward all over myself if I tried things the normal way I got on my best panik's face rang up to her and said quick quick there's no time I need your phone number she Burt hid it out I actually kept it my head until I could get it down on paper and call her that night we've been together for 13 years I own a skate shop and it was also a popular hang out for skater kids I was off one day and I get a call from her ecstatic skate kid that sounded in panic saying get to the shop now click I rushed down there two minutes later Anthony Kiedis walks into the shop one of the kids had run into him in town and convinced him to come into the shop all the skater kids are in my shop behind the counter with my employee pretending to work on things put skateboards together etc it was hilarious to see them try to act naturally and we all got to have a good conversation with Anthony Kiedis about skating paddle boarding and kite boarding and he signed a girl skate deck for our Wall of Fame that I still have he's been back every year since then and is a regular customer this past summer I delivered paddle boards out of his vacation home got a phone call from my sister one evening and when I picked up the phone she was clearly running and out of breath I could just make out her saying open the front door before the line went dead so I ran to the front door picking up the heaviest thing I could find along the way it was a climbing helmet bTW wrenched the door open and moved out the way just in time to see her bolting into the house past me I slammed the door and wait for her to catch her breath there was a giant freaking pheasant chasing me all the way from Tesco her don't worry mom I've got this with that ID on the climbing helmet and told her to call the police if I wasn't back in five minutes when I was about 13 my buddy and I rode our bikes to the local Kmart to be bored obnoxious teenagers tossed some nerf footballs over the aisles rang around mock things then I thought it would be funny to spray my buddy with the perfume sample he didn't think it was funny at all and started chasing me I ran and hid and the hunt was on using his finest ninja skills he snuck around until he saw me crouched down in the hardware aisle he crept up behind me put his butt right next to my head and let rip he turned around to gloat and it wasn't me just some poor schmuck looking at hammers the next thing I know he runs by me we gotta go we gotta go we gotta go glad no one was around to hear me sputter laughing so hard at this Menashe campus Australia hanging around my dad's office he lectured there and I got to come in sometimes whole campus gets evacuated someone runs in tells my dad there's a kid shooting people and to get the heck off campus my dad rushes off and I'm sitting there 11 years old with the face of well Frick Nahuatl TL DR father forgets son during shooting on campus parent of the god Dan year I was in high school and my friend came running up to me and said no time to explain I need your shoes I spent the rest of the day walking around the school and socks and some makeshift shoes made out of a cardboard box I later found out that the reason why my friend needed my shoes was so that he could participate in his Chen lab class and not fail due to his not wearing shoes my brother is 11 years older than me and stayed with my dad when my rents divorced so I never really got to live with him when we were young when I was about 14 he barged into my room at 4 a.m. and told me to pack your crap for four days our flight leaves in two hours soon after I was on a plane turns out he had planned us a trip to Colorado to go snowboarding and told no one but my mom one hour before he told me brothers are so awesome also don't forget to do your part someday my dad working in the WTC heard a huge crash several floors above him boss looks at him and says no time let's go he lived holy crap about 11 or 12 years ago I was taking my dog for a walk in the forest behind the local elementary school he seemed all anxious to get off leash so I unleash him since I figure he wants to run around and pee on everything the moment I let him off leash he starts barking at me in hindsight my best guess at what he was trying to convey was no time to explain let's go and then he bulbs I'm P often stopped chasing after him but he was God dang fast even by dog standards turns out on the other side of the woods there was a middle-aged guy who had exposed himself to a group of young girls they ran away screaming and he was trying to make a grant for one of them it was at this moment that my dog came bursting out of the woods like Lassie or in Tintin or some crap and my dog was popular among the kids so they knew him they screamed his name and ran towards him that diddler bailed with his Johnson still hanging out of his pants I was fully prepared to reprimand my dog for being an butthole then I found out what happened he got steak for dinner freshman year in college at his school in Boston sick as a dog newfound ROTC friend with similar tastes as myself comes running into my room and tells me he needs me I tell him I'm sick and can't go anywhere he refuses my denial and forces me to come with him flash-forward 45 minutes in a car and we are arriving at Gillette Stadium turns out there is a halo 3 tournament being held for army recruitment purposes he is very aware of my halo skills due to the sleepless night we spent when halo 3 first came out ended up placing second and along the way beating Jarrod Mayo he was physically upset and said he wanted to kill me felt awesome to beat a professional football player at something all of this occurred in the box seating of an empty stadium which we have an amazing view of so surreal my wife and I went to Scandinavia in the winter for our honeymoon first Copenhagen then Helsinki then northern Finland yes this is an odd choice and our flight got diverted and enroute to Copenhagen our luggage including all of our winter gear was lost and the airline was unable to locate it for the four days we were in Copenhagen however we made friends with one of the customer service agents at the airport we returned to the airport on the day of our flight to Helsinki still with no luggage and reading the arctic cold we were about to fly into temperatures were in the single digits in Finland but unable to do anything about it to magically we found our luggage at the airport that morning and went through security to our gate it was about half an hour before boarding when our friend from customer service on the other side of the airport up to us and said follow me and don't ask any questions we don't have much time and there is something I must do for you then he led us through a series of back hallways in the airport to his office what I'm about to tell you you must tell no one else he said in 20 minutes our pilots are going to announce a strike and all our flights will be grounded this was in no way public knowledge he put us on another flight to Helsinki with a different airline and we watched in gratitude and amazement from the Finnair terminal as the strike was announced and our original flight along with every single other SAS flight leaving Copenhagen was grounded epilogue we found ourselves in Copenhagen again a year later and we went to the airport specifically to try and find our friend and thanked him but it was his day off I'd ask credit to pass on my thanks but I'm pretty sure what he did was against company policy and I wouldn't want to get him in trouble for doing a good deed for a young couple I was at a house party over the summer that started going a bit south so my friend and I decided to just get in the car and drive home we got to the car and were waiting for the third guy in our group when a very very drunk guy came up with his red solo cup of beer we were friendly to him asked him what he was drinking and all he decided the best reaction to this was to throw the beer at me while I sat in the car after this happened I noticed a group of about seven or eight more drunk people ambling towards the car but they did not look happy my friend decided the best response to this was to go to the back of his car grabbed his shotgun and two shells Oh Frank he stood next to his car with the drunk bastard slowly approaching yelled at them once get away from my car while loading the shells they did not start he fired once into the air away from them cocked the gun and said again get away from my car about one stroke three left after that so he fired once more and the rest scattered he had just fired a gun at a house party twice oh crap oh crap oh crap our friend then came out of the house screaming no time to explain let's go we never went back to that house TL DR nearly drunken brawl broken up by shotgun sounds like zombies bro lucky escape walking home from playing football in the park and my dad aggressively speeding down the road in his car breaks hard next to me he looks angry as frickin my little brother is crying and he sternly says get in I roll with it and he speeds around the park looking attentively out the window my little brother points at a group of lads maybe 16 17 years old one of them is running with my little brother's glasses he is only about ten years old my dad jumps out the car rugby tackling the lad to the floor my dad is huge and the lads looked petrified my dad absolutely Bulls at them for about five minutes after that he gets back in the car and then we go to McDonald's ball so hard and try and find me a little over two years ago I was in an abusive marriage I had realized that the abuse was never going to stop and told my husband that I was going to divorce him the next day he acted as if nothing was wrong and he had accepted that I was moving out as soon as I was able he was working until midnight so he wasn't home yet when I went to bed I woke up later to my husband twisting my arms behind my back and slamming his head into my face he kept me pinned down for what felt like an eternity out of sheer desperation and despite how much it hurt I somehow was able to get out of the hold eventually and ran into the bathroom with my phone slamming the door shut with my body just in time I called every close friend I had but no one would pick up the phone it was now after 3:00 a.m. I had been pinned down for over two hours I finally overcame my shyness and texted a co-worker I had recently met who just happened to live nearby and who had also told me that he stays up most of the night I texted are you awakened got the response yet scared that my husband's efforts to pick the lock on the door would soon prove fruitful I decided to take the chance and make a run for it I shoved my cellphone into my tank top and calculated the location of my coat shoes and wallet when I burst out of the door my animal instincts took over he threw me on the ground I jumped back up he grabbed my arms I twisted away I was able to grab my shoes and nothing else but that was enough I ran down the hallway barefoot and then into the snow and 10-degree Minneapolis winter I hid by the building for a moment putting on my shoes and then ran to my co-workers apartment downtown Minneapolis is a scary place even if you're not dressing and only a tank top and sweatpants at 3:00 a.m. but I ignored the calls from random people on the street and kept running once I was outside my co-workers apartment I suddenly became truly scared what if he wasn't even home I made the phone call I'm outside I'll explain later please please can you let me in my coworker came downstairs a moment later a bewildered look on his face his reaction upon seeing me there barely dressed and shivering in the snow was simple Jess what the heck two years later I'm divorced and the happiest I've ever been that coworker is the best friend I have ever had and I'm so grateful to him for letting a girl he had just met into his apartment at 3:00 a.m. without any explanation I was at a sporting event with some friends wow it was ten years ago now I feel old the bleachers were metal benches on concrete and set up amphitheater style going down a hill and all the concessions and bathrooms on the top of the hill behind us it's about half time and I'm thirsty I also see that it's starting to cloud up I tell my friends I'm gonna go grab a drink and be right back I walk to the top of the stairs and I see the biggest nastiest thundercloud I have ever seen and it's about to crap bricks right on top of us I hold Bob down the stairs grab the friend closest to the aisle and yell we gotta go it takes a second for it to register but everyone grabs the important crap and then follows me up the stairs across the food court and into the bathroom suddenly the temperature drops by at least 10 degrees the wind gusts the last friend and almost lost her hat seconds later we hear a huge clang on the tin roof of the bathroom and then another and another then out the door we see golf ball tore inch sized hail everywhere TL DR I saved my friends from being caught in bleachers in a nasty hailstorm it was the middle of the night on a road trip with a friend she's a city mouse I'm country I was driving she was sleeping and I started to get sleepy so I pulled off the highway onto a barely paved road and followed it for a while until I found a wide shoulder to pull off I parked and we got out so she could have a cigarette there were loads of stars and we leaned against the car having one of those hush middle-of-the-night conversations then I heard rustling in the woods eight feet from us at first I ignored it but then I realized there was the passion I'd hear it at the 10 position then at 2:00 then back to 10 it was more than one thing making the rustling noise and they were getting closer and I realized something was hunting us so I put on my power voice and told her get in the car her eyes got wide and she hopped in really quick I jumped in and we took off back to the highway she turned to me and asked was it an ax murderer or something I told her no it was probably wolves and she got mad at me for scaring her she didn't see how wild animals stalking us could possibly be dangerous to be fair wolves aren't really a danger to humans they ain't more afraid of us than we are then at least here in Norway there hasn't been a single death to wolf since they started keeping track of it some 250 or 300 years ago doing some body work on a session of 350 when my buddy comes running into the shop with his eyes nearly bugging out of his head friend goldfish come on follow me me what is it I'm busy friend just come here gesturing wildly for me to follow me I have to finish this work is it important friend losing patience and all of his excitement just follow me it's important me I'm not going unless you tell me what it is first friend Cara Meg turns out it was somebody's birthday at work and there was free cake in the break room you've got the best sort of friends I was on a sales trip with two other dudes and we went out drinking anyway one guy had had enough around eleven o'clock and went back to his room me and the other [ __ ] continued drinking which culminates in us getting kicked out of a wine bar at 2:00 a.m. so we head back to our hotel on the way down our hallway my coworker decides to knock on our other guy's door and flick with him about leaving so early when our other co-worker opened his door he was super P but really drunk coworker shoots past him and into the room at which point they start arguing so I'll even go to my room at 5:00 a.m. my phone starts blowing up but I ignore it and then the phone in my room starts ringing so I grabbed it really drunk coworker from the night before his in a panic and tells me to pack my crap and meet him in the lobby despite the fact that we were supposed to stay another three nights I asked why and he says no time to explain just meet me in the lobby now I pack and head down once in the lobby he tells me that he apparently passed out in our other guy's bed and that dude got pee and called some H and left the door cracked for them and then switched hotels so really drunk guy wakes up to two black H who want a party he has no clue what's going on and tries to explain that he didn't call them well now the ladies just want to be paid for showing up really drunk guy refuses so the ladies leave to go get their pimp so he can settle the matter drunk guy freaks out goes to his room and minutes later he can hear the pimp banging on the door to the room he had been in freaking out even further he packs and then calls me when he thinks the coast is clear after the valet brings the car around and we get in we see the 2h pointing us out to their boss as they had just been waiting outside to kneecap someone we drive off in a hurry and check into another hotel the end TL DR coworker pee off a pimp and we had to leave a hotel pronto when I was about 11 or 12 my dad took my step-brother and me to my uncle's comic book shop to buy some new x-men cards that he had just gotten in my uncle usually stays open until sundown or 7 o'clock but this night he stayed open until 8 o'clock because of the new release when we get to the store I hop out of the van first and run to the front door at the exact same time this young black kid in a hoodie is coming out we do that little shuffle dance where you don't know which way the other person is going he took off to the left I went right I looked for my uncle calling his name hey Mike Mike I didn't see him the kid I ran into turned around and said Oh Mike's in the back so my brother and I ran to the back storage room to look for him excited to buy our new cards and my dad meandered around the front a few seconds later I hear my father yelling get out here now get in the freaking car while motioning for us to hurry up now my dad never cursed he even slapped my leg once when I said crap one time in his presence when finally get into the car wondering what had happened all he could say was Mike's hurt he's been shot as it happened this 18 year old kid that I shuffled with had brought a gun with him into the store not necessarily with the intent to rob and murder him as his manslaughter charge dictates but saw the opportunity when he was closing up he robbed him told him to turn around and unplug the phone from the wall and put a round in the back of his head after he left the store he took off down the street barefoot for some reason and threw his gun into a nearby creek by the time the police caught him he had dropped almost all the cash he had taken and carried only a $20 bill all in all he murdered my uncle for less than $200 I was brought in to the nearby police station put in this colorful room with toys and teddy bears and gave a physical description of the guy with my and my father statements the kid got 10 years for manslaughter admittedly my father still hasn't recovered aaww sorry for your loss I was checking the battery under my hood and managed to splash battery acid in my eye I had three friends in the car I told the girl in the backseat to give me the jug of water that was next to her now she just sat there and glared at me with though I'm not taking orders from you look B just give me the jug so I had a job driving a taxi night shift I'm waiting in the cab lineup for my next fare when a native Indian stumbles up to my taxi asks me if I want to buy some beer no thanks pal you sure I'll sell you a case for $15 keep in mind I'm in Canada and a case will normally cost around $40 I say sure and he hops in and tells me to drive around the corner to the golf course I'm skeptical but I go for it we arrive and he runs into some bushes and comes out with a 24 pack of beer I laugh pay him and ask if there's more yet if you buy ten I'll show em to you for $10 bucks each I gave him one hundred and ninety dollars more he runs towards the bushes looks back at me and yells well you're gonna come help me with them or what I follow him to the bushes there is a skid full of cases of beer we take nineteen more and load them into the back of my taxi van I get the nice gentleman's phone number for next time and we say our goodbyes fast forward 15 minutes I've driven home it's 3:00 a.m. I was living in a house in a row of town homes neighbors surely hear me pull up open and slam my door I run in wake up my roommate and yell no time to explain let's go he rushes downstairs puts on shoes and follows me back to the cab I opened the rear doors and his jaw drops where did you find this no time to explain I respond so here we are my half-naked friend and I running 20 cases of beer from the street to my house at 3 a.m. I am amazed that no neighbors had awoken and looked out their windows and called the phone number on the van when we finish and I had time to explain my roommate gave me $200 and we went and got another 20 cases this time from a skid hidden behind some trees at a park on a local TL DR bought 20 cases of beer from an Indian woke up room at a 3 a.m. to help rush it into our house we built a wall between our kitchen and living room with cases of said beer dad hit me up on the 29th of January 1999 at about 11:00 p.m. and said get up were gone on a trip so we left I got to see my hometown Titans play the Rams in the Superbowl that next day in Atlanta one of the coolest memories I have turns out he was randomly offered these tickets so it was a let's go moment for him also best I've got his I was sitting in my room playing halo I think it was and my dad randomly bursts into my room and just says grab your knife and meet me in the backyard and he ran back downstairs turns out our dog wound up cornering a possum in our yard in the possum was about to attack the dog we managed to eventually pull the dog away before the possum fought back so it was able to run away one day when I was about 12 my dad woke me up at my mom's house fear divorced really early on a Saturday and told me I had to go with him but won't tell me why it was very odd for my dad to be at my mom's let alone wake me up and dragged me out of the house but I did because he seemed really excited so we drive down to the Yacht Club where my family has a boat still having no idea why I am up and going somewhere with my dad at such an early hour so we get to the docks and we walk to where they keep the big ol yachts we have a rather small motorboat we keep there we ain't that fancy and we walk to a huge cigarette boat called endangered species my dad who always finds a way to make friends with random people begins talking to this guy that is standing next to a large dog crate and he introduces me the guy then opens the cage and my dad's all smiles as a freaking baby tiger walks out obviously I lost my crap and hit my knees is the most epic possible thing to walk out off a dog crate comes barreling over to me I then got to play with this tiger cub for the next few hours and walk him and feed him and just do whatever a twelve-year-old does where he gets to meet a baby tiger my dad and I never really had that tight of a father-son relationship but by far is one of my favorite memories TL DR my dad stole me to play with a tiger if you are new to the channel you can subscribe I publish new videos every day until then check another video bye for now

Channel: Updoot

Views: 192,294

Rating: 4.938158 out of 5

Keywords: no time to explain, in a hurry, funniest story, funniest, crazy stories, time to explain, time to go, time to get up, #updootst, updoot, updoot reddit, updoot everything, reddit on tap, toadfilms, pewdiepie, reddit, askreddit, funny reddit, reddit stories, top posts, reddit top posts, reddit cringe, comedy, reddit compilation, r/, r/askreddit, top posts of r/, askreddit reading, best reddit posts, top posts of all time, people of reddit, askreddit question, ask reddit, subreddit, sub

Id: wLITIVUb3Cc

Length: 29min 7sec (1747 seconds)

Published: Thu Jun 18 2020