What's The Most Fricked Up Thing You've Seen At Work?

what's the most random or freaked up thing you've seen on the job possibly NSW I've worked at a few theme parks doing shows you know everything from your typical parade to more exciting things like ceylon shows and stunts extravaganzas sir my friend was playing the Riddler in a Batman water stunt show at Six Flags in the front row there was a mentally handicapped adult with his mother who was really into the show you couldn't ask for a better audience member he cheered for Batman who hadn't told at the explosions and booed the Riddler and his goons at the end of the show is with most theme park attractions at his customary to do a meet and greet where the cast members shake hands with the public the kid was just thrilled to meet Batman who was at the front of the line of characters to meet he took a few pictures and moved down the line my friend the Riddler was at the end of the queue by the exit the beefy beast of a kid takes one look at the Riddler and shouts in all his speech impeded glory you leave Batman alone and proceeds to lay a mind-blowing haymaker on my buddy who I knocked out cold and falls into the pool he is rescued and fine the mother was super apologetic but my friend simply said with the clasp of a true gent hey as an actor I know I did my job and I appreciate the feedback TL DR mentally challenged kid knocks out my buddy in defense of Batman as he portrayed the Riddler at a theme park that'll teach your friend for messing with the Batman I worked for a mortgage servicing company we were going to foreclose on a house wherein the homeowner had gone through all the hoops missed phone calls lost paperwork and such and actually been approved for a modification she sent in her first payment for the modification on time good since the paperwork hadn't been finished yet they person flagged the payment as too early send the cheque back and started the ball rolling on a foreclosure we even had notes on the account indicating when the check came in that someone asked their manager about it the manager said it was too early and they sent it back meanwhile the homeowner thinks everything is fine because they were approved and sent in their payment when they were directed to I tried to get three different managers to look at the account and take notice that we were about to freak but seriously all gloomy often said let the process take its course I cop it down the lady's phone number and called her from a blocked cell phone that evening after work and told her that due to a paperwork snafu the company was going to try to take her house and that she needed to call in the morning and shoe but to get it straightened out she did I don't regret that I know I violated a bunch of both company rules and FDCPA rules as well as customer confidentiality and I don't cur I would do it again thank you so much for this I lost my childhood home in a foreclosure and it was really traumatic and I just remember my mom coming home really upset because nobody was working with her the fact that someone would try to alleviate this for anyone is really great I work at a copy and print shop and let me just say that I could fill pages with some of crap that people have asked me to print this one however is my least favorite guy comes up to my counter one day and right away I can tell this is going to be unpleasant he's mid forties dressed like a hipster slicked back hair sporting a fanny pack and wearing the glassy eyed expression of a friendly neighborhood diddler he hands me a CD and asks me to print two of the files in booklet form in my heart there isn't only love and panis the Menace printed out the first one and oh great the man is an artist the book is full of poorly done photo shops and amateur philosophical musings whatever I've seen crap like this before when he asks I tell him it's very well done and the people at his club are sure to love it then I print the second file perhaps the name should have acted as some kind of warning but when I grab it from the printer it's just pages and pages of dongs one dong actually one dong dressed in dozens of different costumes sporting goodly eyes and photoshopped in front of major landmarks in nature scenery at this point I am forced to accept one of two equally unfortunate truths he has either dressed his own dong in all these outfits and taken the pictures that way or he has somehow coerced another man into a fixing his junk with googly eyes and dong dresses TLDR picks off dongs donning goodly eyes and costumes working in McDonald's kid comes to counter saying she wanted to use the disabled toilet but door was locked and a man was lying down went to look found the junkie out cold blood everywhere needles still in his arm and he wasn't breathing had to put him in the recovery position and hold his airway open for 15 minutes to vial maybe he was just too excited that the McRib was back I worked a summer job at Petco my freshman year in high school I walked into work one day to hear my store's manager yelling my name obviously confused I walk into the back room where to my dismay I see that all of the kennels that hold the kittens in the store are wide open right about now is where I panic I look around the back room not having seen a single kitten yet this thought terrifies me because those little things are worth a lot of money finally I get into the storage room and opened the door to see the most random thing I've ever encountered in my life forty kittens running around a twenty foot by twenty foot room with my store manager sprawled across the floor yelling Tyler help ME I messed up WTF worthy yet not disgusting oh god kittens wasn't on my job but a friend of mine worked a night shift at a grocery during weekdays and strongly suggested I come visit him on a Wednesday night around 3:00 a.m. I found that weird what an awkwardly precise timing but being a night owl and a student I very often happen to be awake at the time so I decided to pay him a visit once I got there around 2:45 we started chatting about random things and I ended up asking so what is it you wanted to show me he told me to wait a few minutes so we went back to chatting and when the doorbell rang he simply whispered look two average looking guys probably in their early 30s had showed up they were clearly on acid or something from the look on their face as soon as they entered the store one slowly climbed inside a shopping cart and sat inside the other one took the cart and started slowly pushing it forward they followed the aisles having a good hard look at all their colorful and wonderful products on the shelves once they had come back to their starting point the guy inside the carp stood up climbed down from the cart and they switched places they started their circuit once again visiting every Albert in the final Isle they stopped in front of a freezer and got a deep delicious cake from it the guy pushed the cart to the register paid for the cake the guy inside the cart stood up and then climbed down from it and just like that they left I was speechless the whole scene took ten to fifteen minutes my friend told me the same two guys did the exact same thing every Wednesday night at 3:00 a.m. give or take 5 minutes he had asked his boss about this but seeing as they never bothered customers and actually bought their cake everytime he didn't mind I found this oddly beautiful not me been to a gas station down the road last week a woman paid for five dollars in gas left to read on the counter saying she won't be needing it anymore then went to the pump soaked herself in gasoline and lit herself on fire three people rushed to her with extinguishers but she still died on the way to the hospital one person was the clerk the other two were electricians on their lunch break working in a bank and watching elderly people lose their life savings in a heartbeat multiple occasions one was about a year ago typical Nigerian scam this one was particularly bad because the scammers went all-in right away didn't even try to freak them out of a few grand with a fake certified cheque 85 year old couple lost their entire savings just shy of $100,000 and had no way of getting it back if they were convinced to keep their winnings a secret and refused to give the branch manager any details in my opinion he should have done more but moot point the worst is watching elderly people get cleaned out by their own children watching them set up joint accounts and durable power of attorney papers with their kids who then robbed them blind and move to a different state the first one is a rare case usually because someone notices a suspicious check or stops a wire transfer the second happens all the time and there's nothing anyone can do about it once they're joined on an account or a power they can use whatever's there that is so unbelievably sad I was on work experience with a pest control company thanks uncle and we get to the house of this old lady it was immaculate everything was completely dust free we asked what the problem isn't it's a colony nest of cockroaches in her garden drain she says she found it a month ago and tried to get rid of them all by pouring bleach down the kitchen sink three times a day for a month we opened the drain and the garden and we see maybe 2-3 dozen cockroaches that have been bleached to the color or bone all perfectly healthy apart from color everyone knows you can't kill roaches with well most things I work for the railroad one night we were stopped in a siding waiting for an Amtrak to pass with the train about 500 featuring from us doing 80 miles per hour some guy decided to check out and stepped in front of the train he disappeared in a pink cloud of smoke what was left looked like someone spilled a red slushy I also clipped a drunk driver who had gotten his car stuck on the rails and decided to run off before we hit him hit him doing maybe 30 he bounced off the ground but got up and ran saw the drunk guy being loaded in an ambulance after deciding to run from the railroad police but he didn't make it far in tripped and fell under a train while crossing through it the train ran over him and he lost both legs and one arm lucky to be alive he was in his early 20s and lastly found a dead homeless guy on a rail car completely frozen in place poor guy picked a bad freight car to ride worked at a summer day camp years ago we used to wait outside of the locker room while the group's got changed for pool time etc one day all the kids have come back out for swim and are laughing their asses off not that unusual so not thinking much of it we do a quick headcount to make sure we are ready to go and realize that we are one kid short wait another minute and he's still not coming back out so I went in to check it out a wave of crap smelling like low tide at a sewage plant nails me as soon as I hit the door not knowing what to expect now with this smell in the air I walk to the back of the locker room to find the straggler armed deep in his own crap drawing what looked like the Mothman Prophecies of poo on the wall but turned around and walked out moved from the counselors to dishwashing that den never looked back I used to work at a movie theater and this one incident sticks out like a horrible crappy thumb it was a relatively slow day so my co-workers and I are lounging about in the lobby when an older gentleman dressed all in white white shorts shirt socks sneakers this is an important detail hurries into the bathroom we all think nothing of it because we've seen people Russian before probably so they don't miss their movie a little bit of time progresses and we forget all about him until a middle-aged black guy walks in and in the smoothest voice I've ever heard asks me this hey my man mind if I use the bathroom I respond with absolutely sir go right ahead no less than 10 seconds later he comes out and what he told me next will be forever burned into my brain yo my man someone didn't quite make it he then just strolled out of the theater no man could have prepared me for what I saw it was a crap explosion the stench hit me so hard I actually started screaming and I got louder resigned noticed the amount of crap all over the place I called my co-workers over to witness the aftermath of the shitstorm and they too became loud and shocked at what has transpired at one point while we were all preparing to assault the ship nurse with cleaning supplies the perpetrator tried to sneak out of the theater solid snake style which was next to impossible because the bathroom was directly opposite the exit the man's previously pristine white clothing had turned crap yellow brown with it trickling down his legs staining his white tube socks and sneakers the same vile color as the cleanliness offensive against the terror sheets progressed we finally opened the stall where the main attack happened it was like this guy's butt didn't want to live anymore and blew its butt brain out it covered the walls the toilet and the floor in the putrid stank to top it all off he left his freakin crap soiled tighty whities draped over the toilet barrel or that day frickin sucked TL DR older gentler dude commits but suicide in the men's room at my old movie theater job and the smoothest black man ever was the harbinger of bad news more like liquid snake style I used to work for a town pool in an urban area every day for about two weeks there would be poop in front of the gate where we opened human poop every day turns out one of the kids that was banned from the pool would sneak out of his house every night and poop in front of it in anger angry poop is the worst poke I worked in an inner city major hospital as a needy nurse for 12 years I have so many stories I don't even know where to start the accidents illnesses things people couldn't control should not be talked about but the others in sanity for a period of time in Houston there was a trend among certain members of an extreme segment of the gay community to have mummification parties a man comes into the edy in a homemade body cast head to toe with openings for his nose mouth anus and genitals the idea I was told was to force ejaculation through the use of a cattle prod rectally and to use the other openings as the participants wished while the mummy was helpless to resist this one group decided to use direct 220 v current from a dryer outlet placing a metal rod into his rectum and a clamp on his scrotum the man had expelled all fluids he had to expel and had essentially cooked in the body cast his eyeballs had exploded I was never sure why he was even brought in by Em's because he was obviously dead but I got the initial job of cutting the cast off the smell of burnt flesh was something that was intense enough to make me retch describing the state of the body is probably not even required just think of a human hotdog cooked far too long and left to die in a plaster cast his abdomen unable to expand in the cast had split and cooked fesses and viscera have saturated the cast once the autopsy was done it was found he had dozens of broken bones this was perhaps one of the most horrific deaths I had ever seen I'm sure someone will say I am bashing gays here bulls I'm bashing human stupidity and the fact that a human life was utterly wasted I think we had our winner holy Frick I used it a computer repair on the side for a few extra bucks a friend of a friend referred a guide to me that was a local music producer or something said his computer is down and he needs it back up ASAP it just shut off one day we agree on a price plus parts and he leaves now this computer was a nice custom-built job in a nice case the outside looked a little stained up and it smelled of nicotine and something a bit sweeter I figured we'd but it was fairly clean on the outside I take the side off the computer I am trying to figure out what I am looking at because it looked like a mixture of small rubber bands and jello I can't even see the processor fan the pile is so high took me a minute to figure out what it was it was a Mel D stinking pile of used rubbers the guy had been hiding them in his computer I had no idea why I call the guy and tell him I refused to touch it he tells me he will come clean it up and for me to include a new case in the bill all he wanted was his recording hardware out of it oh and he offered me a lot of money to not tell anyone so he comes over and does the deed and I tackle removing the parts he wanted out of it ended up building him a completely new computer - the sound card interface and the drives when the guy picked up the new computer he hands me $1200 $700 Asian parts and told me to keep my mouth shut his wife did not need to find out freaking gross TL DR guy had a 1 point 5 foot tall pile of used rubbers in his computer this happened almost 10 years ago I was working the night shift at a very popular coffee shop in a busy tourist location during the summer at about 2:00 a.m. this guy came in dressed as a bee and it wasn't in ice bee costume it was a garbage bag painted with yellow stripes with a really bad looking bug mask while hunched over and Gosling he ordered a cup of sugar water suspicious I gave him his water and he drank it through his straw mouth thing since water was free I said he didn't have to pay he suddenly straightened up and in a deep normal voice said thanks for being cool about this gave me a $5 tip and walked I still don't know what the Frick was going on I half expected to see two guys in black suits come into neural ëismí after that since people want to know is believe skeeted not guessed correctly but he had a really good guess sounds like he lost her bet with his friends I worked in a factory making parts for a major car company actually the company I worked for was contracted by a major company anyways one day a guy got his hand stuck in a machine that pushed tiny Stoppers into the part that would stop flowing and whatnot there was roughly 10,000 pounds of pressure pinning his hand in place the place was so port Iran that nobody knew how to get it open and they had to call a guide to come open it he was stuck and there so long they had to get him a chair to sit down while he waited miraculously his hand is fine now I saw someone lose their arm up to their elbow in a printing press crappy thing is that the day before the accident I was training him and telling him that if he ever dropped a rag during cleanup to just let it go and not try and be a hero needless to say he reacted and tried to grab a rag he dropped this was his first week on the job the worst thing I've ever seen is a child shaming case in which the father boiled water and held his child by the ankles and dumped his head in up to the nose boiling away his skin he is the only person I probably ever would have killed if I met him at the moment I was treating his son I have never felt such anger and disgust and horror all in one moment as I did that day I hope I never have to again but of course will happily do so anytime I'm needed born raised on a ranch I have quite a few I had a cow that was having troubles carving so I chased her in to pull the calf the calf came out and was inside out I work in a clothing store a very lazy lady who asked to use the toilet couldn't be bothered to walk two minutes to the nearest toilets as we have none in store instead she went to the fitting rooms took in some clothes proceeded to defecate on the floor and pee in a plastic bag she then walked out smiling and left the store several minutes later a lady came out complaining about the smell for us to find this lovely gift on the floor cleaners refused to clean it up so a supervisor had to do it instead definitely not worth the extra one-pound an hour I do indeed work in Primark for those unfamiliar with the store let's call it the Walmart of British shops where I work if that happens we get 50 pounds on our next paycheck no questions asked the only other person who has to know who cleaned it is the duty manager back when I was lifeguarding a parent brought his severely mentally handicapped teenage upper teens son to the pool during the most crowded hours the kid goes around swimming walking around the pool doing his typical pool things for a while I stopped paying attention to him later I'm on the stand when suddenly I see the kid's dad from across the pool stand up and yell the kid's name at the top of his lungs I look behind me to where he was looking to be met with the sight of the kids straight up dropping his bathing suit bending over and dropping a massive crap right on the pavement near the pool at peak hours in front of everyone the dad quickly gets his kid under control apologizes to all of this working and leaves with the kid luckily I was on the stand in the other lifeguard had to clean it up I convert held 16 millimetres films to DV tapes and while working with the film the overhead lights have to be off in the room I work with a very dim red light this room contains two computers and has a red giant cabinet in the middle of the room that separates where I work from everybody else when I work in this room which is not often my boss wants me to lock the door and put a do not come and sign on the office door I always put the sign on the door but rarely lock it since I feel like it looks incredibly sketchy to be alone in a very dark room with computers well one day when I was assigned to the room around lunchtime I hear someone opened the door and I was expecting my boss to come talk to me about some random crap after a few minutes of nothing happening I figured the person must have opened the door realized that they were not supposed to be in there and left well that wasn't the case after a few moments I started to hear this awkward breathing that sounded like a laugh I thought that one of the idiot student workers were farting around on the computers since I am NOT the most controversial guy I rolled my chair back from my workstation to see who was in the room and tried to passive-aggressively hint that they needed to get out of there as I was rolling my chair back I realized that the two computers in the room was still off but I still heard a female voice heavily breathing by then felt extremely awkward and had no idea what to do I was about 95 percent sure that a girl was masturbating so I decided to head back to my desk put the film I was working on in a safe place and turned the light on there was a light switch by my workstation when I turned the light on the girl nervously said oh my god zipped her pants and left the room I never saw who it was I only heard the zipper but I always wonder which girl was so frisky at work that she had to masturbate during lunch TL DR I caught a female co-worker masturbating at work if everyone knows you work back there just start giving people knowing looks the one that turns beet red is the masturbator Tsuru I used to work in people's homes remodeling one day when I was at the shop a guy I worked with named Dave came back from doing a tear out on a kitchen now dave was normally a very talkative guy but today he was very silent myself Dave and two other guys were outside by the dumpster and someone finally asked David he was okay he said he was fine and continued to throw stuff away finally Dave turned to listen said I can't go back to that job tomorrow someone else will have to go finish up the shop manager who was out there with us throwing stuff away told him that was fine but we had to know why before we could just swap jobs Dave proceeded to tell us this story he went to this job but before he could start working in the kitchen there was a terrible smell coming from the sink he didn't want to be rude so he tried to cover the smell up without having to embarrass the old lady who lives there he continues to work but eventually can't take it anymore he figured he knows what will work so he takes a rag soaked sit in lacquer thinner and shoves it down the sink hole it doesn't cover the smell I mean lacquer thinner this crap literally peels paint off walls and won't cover the smell Dave can no longer take the smell and also figures that this is a plumbing health hazard and needs to tell the homeowner he proceeds to talk to the old lady telling her that she has a terrible smell in her kitchen sink and that a plumber needs to come take a look at it before he can continue working she looks him square in the eye and says and there's nothing wrong with the plumbing I pour my husband's colostomy bags down the garbage disposal so there's no need to worry he finishes the tear out as fast as he can and leaves the next day our boss sends another employee to the site he works half a day and leaves the next day the same thing happens on Thursday I finally get sent to the site and it really was the most horrific smell I have ever had the pleasure of smelling I worked a half day and left our shop manager finally went on Friday and finished the job the lady loved the work and sent us all a card thanking her for the beautiful kitchen because Frick toilets working tesco on early evening shift 6 till 10 p.m. around 9:00 9:15 or so I'm filling up the fridge of sandwiches by the main entrance notice huge mean-looking dog walk in ignored it big bald guy holding stick follows makes sense guy was playing with his dog I figured finish the sandwiches heading back through the shop floor to get on with my job noticed trail of blood it goes up and down the aisles all over the store these are big bug drops of blood real horror movie type blood trail I walk past the stores bakery it goes in there as well next aisle up I walk past the guy with his dog faces freaked up one eye bloody mess he asks me if I've seen two chaps I say no he leaves other stuff are desperately trying to clean up the blood trail that we now know he left especially the parts in the bakery we make food there doodle rather we cook the prepackaged frozen dough we get sent talking to cow acres just after turns out to Punk kids beat the crap out of him taking one of his eyes he was looking for them and planning to I assume beat the living crap out of them anyway few months later a drunk was refused booze in the same store drove his car through the window and took out an empty cash register I work on film sets as a production coordinator but last summer I was working as an assistant on a feature film that was shooting on a rooftop in Manhattan the rooftop we were shooting on was located on the same block as a popular college and one of the main dorm buildings happen to stand right across from our set anyway on one of the first days of shooting we noticed that many students who were moving into these dorms it was August so the fall semester was almost starting just as the Sun was going down and we were about to get our first shot off on the camera another PA broke out in hysterical laughter he pointed across the street to the dorms we're right in perfect view inside one of the dorm windows a freshman couple were going at it doggystyle of the whole set turned and saw them laughing and cheering them on the guy noticed we were watching and waved at us with a huge crap eating grin which caused us to cheer even louder the girl finally looked back and saw him smiling then turned to see the entire film crew watching them bang from one rooftop over she double the window and then the blinds closed TL DR film crew caught a freshman couple banging in their dorm cheered them on I used to work in an office building in downtown Chicago directly across the street from us was housing for one of the art schools some of the residents took a great amount of pleasure from walking around naked or freaking while in plain view one was a suicide girl another oiled upper body and did a photo shoot while pressing herself against the window needless to say morale went up I have tons of stories from my years as an insulator but one that I have been thinking about lately was this finished attic we had to go into to insulate the slants the problem was there was a renter up there in this little one-bedroom third-floor apartment with a kitchenette bathroom and tiny living room the landlord had to fight to get us in there and when we finally did we discovered after two weeks of working on the rest of the house that there was a giant black woman living on a lazy boy recliner up there she had never once come out of the house and it seemed she was either too fat to get out or agoraphobic maybe both she was up there were several large dogs that I saw were laid out by a man two times during the day while I was there he came by let them out for a few minutes to do their business and let them back in the apartment was brimming with trash junk and smell horrible smell it smelled like unwashed human crap rotten dog there was no ventilation and the woman who had nothing but a mega-sized t-shirt on or so it seemed did not want the lights on the dogs followed me around the place dimly lit by whatever Sun slipped through the drawn shades as I worked in the sweltering summer heat pushing stuff out of the way boring holes in the sheetrock and glowing and cellulose insulation it's very dusty work and I covered what I could but there was so much junk seriously it was like something you see on TV the woman did not want to leave during the work and did not want a face mask she just sat there stinking watching a tiny little TV and eating she didn't talk much she just yelled at the dogs a lot I imagine she was around 500 pounds what I could not figure out is where she went to the bathroom because she never got up from her seat then again the smell was terrible the man that came by to let the dogs out would refill her food and soda supply mostly junk food that came in bags or boxes this was like eight years ago I can't imagine she's still alive TL DR saw a giant agoraphobic pack rat living in her own filth it smelled bad worked in tech support guy brought in his PC there was CP on the desktop in different folders called the corpse they came and got the computer never heard from there more the customer I am a vet tech and I used to work at a Humane Society we had a dog come and that was confiscated for being abused and had a horrible genital infection the dog was spayed so it wasn't pyometra uterine infection dogs get if not spayed and we didn't have x-ray so we weren't 100% sure what was wrong with it I took it to the emergency clinic to get it x-rayed and just about passed out when I saw the film the crack bag owners had shoved a seller up into the dogs tea and just frickin left it there we don't know how long it had been there but it took surgery and a lot of antibiotics to fix it and wouldn't you know this was the absolute nicest dog ever I want to kill people that abuse their animals the dog survived and she was adopted out to a really nice family crap bag owners just got slapped with a huge fine as far as I know this was just after the Japanese earthquake tsunami outside the front of the shop where I work there was this Japanese family collecting money for that tsunami appeal there were a few generations there so young kids and older people as well around lunchtime I noticed a drunk and what looked like homeless man sitting on a wall watching them and drinking pee cheap cider after a while of seeing this family getting money from the customers I can only assume that this man got a bit jealous and walked over to the family who were collecting and started shouting at the lady leading the collection passers-by started to notice and a bit of a crowd formed with people trying to stop this man screaming at the Japanese folk who were collecting I'm not exactly sure what he was saying at this point but at one point he decided to give them a tsunami of their own and whipped his tongue out and started P over them and their small stall kids parents and table as well as himself all got covered needless to say he was arrested and hasn't been seen since I worked as a car salesman it was late on a Saturday night I was out front of the dealership with my customers and this bum walks up with a bag in his hand he shows it to my customers wife and she asked what it was the husband and I were a few feet away and I could see the husband was agitated that this bum was talking to his wife so he told the bum get the Frick out of here before I call the cops the bum says call we need them here right now look what I found he comes up to the husband and opens up the bag for him to see the husband's face went from anger to a look of horror so naturally I asked what is it the bump reaches into the bag and pulls out a human fricking head it was pretty rotted but no doubt it was real the bumps at it down on the front steps of the dealership i called 9-1-1 right away took the cops over an hour to get there my boss who was from Vietnam was on the phone when he came outside and noticed the head on the steps he didn't even stop his conversation he just stopped looked at me and pointed up his head as if to say is that a head I shook my head yes he nudged it with his foot a couple of times shrugged his shoulders and walked off funniest crap I'd ever seen he later told me that he seen much worse in his lifetime not as freaked up as most of the things on the list but it shook me up pretty bad let me preface this by saying that I have epilepsy and have never actually seen a seizure before I tried to watch them online but I had to stop starting at a boring retail job I was getting trained on cash on my first day literally within the first 20 minutes of me working there a woman has a seizure in the store I immediately abandoned my cash and put her in fetal position etc now the thing that scared me the most was that there was a woman there who said something along the lines have put something in her mouth so she doesn't choke on her tongue this scares me because it's extremely dangerous to do this and possibly fatal the owner pharmacist then hands me an object to put in her mouth at this moment I am grappling with seeing my first seizure while on my first day the idiotic suggestion from the customer who is quickly getting more irate and yelling at me about credentials and how I'll kill this woman and the incompetence of someone who really should know better easily the most flicked up thing for me it made me realize that most people believe the Smith and now I'm constantly scared that this will happen to me if I have a seizure in public TL DR lost faith in humanity's ability to keep me alive I'm a fireman and showed up to an infant in cardiac arrest CPR was already being performed by her mother who was an absolute emotional mess they were doing great CPR when I took over I did CPR all the way to the hospital while paramedics worked on getting a line ET C but the baby didn't make it I don't like thinking about it I worked at a burn unit one day I had to sort about 1,000 pictures of infants toddlers with burns most quite severe I drank a lot when I had that job I guess I drink a lot anyway but definitely at that job when I worked at chick-fil-a when I was 15 I had to wear the Cal suit every Tuesday for kids day or whatever well one day I was sitting around waving at the kids dancing when this little boy just decided to whip out his dong and start peeing all over me but so I just continued to dance while this little kid peed on me in front of a bunch of people and another furry with a pee fetish was born I used to work for a toy company very well-known for a particular doll anyway there was a rush on to get some prototypes ready I had just gone down to reception and was told to get up to the second floor as one of the designers had an accident I was office manager and first-aid and health and safety so I go running up the stairs and the first person I see is the admin for the team and she is just pale and points to the bathroom I realize after she is on the phone to emergency surgeon see service I walk into the bathroom and there is blood all over the floor and I have to walk through it to get to her sat there on the toilet seat she had stabbed herself in the groin by accident cutting some plastic the knife slipped she had been cutting a blister pack at a workstation when it happened I shouted for a chair and she kept saying now I will get blood on it I said screw that I stayed with her in there until the ambulance came helping to stave off the bleeding then followed her to the hospital I got home that evening after being calm and collected throughout the whole incident walked in opened a bottle of wine and drank from the bottle pacing up and down did not realize if it hit me so hard till I got home she was okay off work for a couple of weeks apparently she had just missed a major artery would have been pretty silly to be cutting plastic sitting on the toilet there was blood in the women's bathroom at my work one day I had to call the cleaning crew twice they missed the back of the store door thought someone was just disgusting later I found out that one of the young employees had had a miscarriage which took me a few minutes to put it together that it had happened at the office poor girl mobile phone store customer comes in with his wife and daughter and wants to sign up a plan that is supposedly for use by his church the account is under a business name which is the name of the church and he is the account administrator off to the side his daughter is looking at the display phones and tells her dad that she likes the white handset instead of the blue one Samsung Galaxy CI we've run out of stock for the 16 gigabyte white so we have blue in both sizes and white and 32 gigabytes only the 32 gigabytes model is $5 months more expensive than the 16 gigabyte if this guy is obviously signing up the number for his daughter since she insists he get the white one so he gets the second highest rate plan we offer you know because a 15 year old girl needs to be on an unlimited plan gets the 32 gigabyte handset and adds insurance on top of that which costs extra the worst part is he builds everything under the church we have a policy where the first three months have to be billed to a direct debit bank account or a credit card he reluctantly gives his credit card info and confirms with me about four times that if he pays before the direct debit date via a different payment method nothing will be taken from his card obviously he doesn't want to pay out of his own pocket for his own daughter so part of any donations people make to the church goes to paying this guy's daughter's phone bill I'm not a religious person and I respect people who have religious beliefs but how can you disrespect your own religion like that I work out at Animal Hospital which also services the local zoo on a particularly hot summer day the zoo transported a miniature horse to the hospital which had died and the requested a necropsy autopsy for animals to be performed the doctors decided to do this in the kennel area where I work because of the size of the animal and the space they would need after they cut it open and figured out cause of death they decided to leave it there for someone to clean up never asking anyone or indicating who should do it or what should be done mind you this is a completely open animal guts everywhere with the heat the smell was horrendous and cause the doctors to eventually bestow the honor of taking care of this rancid carcass to me with the help of a co-worker we had to remove the organs and cut the horse in half with a sawzall so that it could fit in the incinerator I swear we couldn't get the smell out of the kennel area for a month still to this day my worst day at work I used to work at a movie theater and one day I was walking down the main corridor when a guy came up to me asking for help he had blood on his hands so I went to get someone more important we were right by the manager's office and while waiting for the door to open I looked back at him to see where the blood was coming from his crotch turns out he was climbing over the seats in the theater the seat dropped down and we landed groin first on the top of the chair on the thin hard plastic back of the chair an ambulance came and he got taken care of and while I'm actually not sure if he went to the hospital I was told he was all right luckily TL DR mr. bloody groin when I was in the Navy I worked in nuclear power we'd shut down and cooled down the power plant and I was going in along with two others to do a routine inspection of sim enclosures and stuff we pop open this one enclosure and my friend freaks the Frick out he is backing away just gibbering I rush over thinking something's horribly wrong to see what he had discovered only to have my own similar oh crap oh crap oh crap response there was a gigantic maybe 2-3 inches across spider living inside the enclosure that's bad enough but that's not what freaked us out either because of the darkness in there no lights for months all because of the radiation which is my preferred reason the spider was white and completely translucent I'm not sure if it was alive or dead I just would foe my friends and I bet dead one another to go see if we could become spider-man no one took the bet up the main body was 2-3 inches with a leg span it would be more like 5 inches or so I was so scared because the reactor compartment hadn't been opened in months it looked alive not all curled up so that means it had survived for three months in a very hot high radiation area with no food at a glance it seemed like a frightening mutant freak there's no way it could have gotten in during that three-month time period so it had been there at least three months it was almost more transparent than translucent not only could you have seen light through it but you could see through it enough to make out some details again this just screamed mutant to us what we did with it we turned it over to the eltz engineering laboratory technicians from the next shift to clean up and by turn it over I mean we informed them we didn't want to take the chance of it bolting and escaping the reactor compartment that would have created a serious problem because it was radioactive waste and possibly could be considered radioactive hazardous waste much much worse a massive cleanup effort I never heard what happened next I worked at Borders Books in Santa Monica a while back one day the manager was checking the cameras from the previous weekend when she noticed that during the night the guy came in through the roof and walked around the store - the reason she even noticed the guy while looking of five plus cameras is because his pants had fallen down while he was entering through the ceiling all she could see on the camera was a naked guy climbing down from the ceiling the guy had been coming into the store through the ceiling after hours getting newspapers and magazines and food from the cafe not only that but he had been living in a covey hole in the store like a place out back near the trash cans it was like a little storage area borders was not using the guy had turned it into some kind of MacGyver like homeless dude pad complete with candles painting and other accessories all stolen from the store it was well organized and he had wine and everything the place even smelled nice it was bizarre the guy was arrested obviously but the funny part is the guy's mom called the stores general manger and personally asked her if it would be all right for the guide to remain in his apartment in the store totally nutters I never found out what happened to the guy but it was a strange experience mine is just utterly sad and horrible not weird as in no giant translucid irradiate alien spider or mildly funny children pooping everywhere in public just terribly wrong and sad I was working in a summer camp as a kind of a nurse summer job where children would stay for periods of 17 days in the woods having fun learning stuff and all and a little girl 9-10 came to me because she had something not normal down fear escorted by a female counselor in an attempt to cover my bosom to reassure the poor girl you can only imagine how uncomfortable I was as an adult male having to do this we took a look externally mind you and it was an STI that went untreated for a bit over time I asked if she had switched her bathing suit with a friend or if she ever had this kind of problem before she said no I asked if she had told her mother before coming to the camp maybe I could have contacted the mother to get some info to know if she would have wanted to come get her girl etc and then the dam broke her mother had passed away a couple of months before I tried to comfort her and after a while we asked her if her dad had known about it and then she went silent like completely silent I somehow gained her confidence by talking to her and after a couple of minutes she told me that dad was very well aware of her condition being the monster who transmitted the infection he had also told her to not let anyone know about it otherwise she wouldn't go to camp laws bind you as an adult to report this to the authorities and that's what I did but I somehow doubt she told the police and the social worker the truth never heard of her after that she never returned to camp that was revolting sad and I felt so much powerless I've met there some children whom parents I would have liked to be to death instantly I've got some other stories but this one is the worst by far it sounds like you handled a very difficult situation in a professional and decent manner you should feel good about that I worked as a mobile installer for a large electronics chain for a couple years I saw it all in people's car corn cob used condoms rotted food drugs hundreds of dollars in change thought to be lost you name it and I probably found it I was filling in for another installer at one of our more urban locations and was told to not be surprised by anything I see if it looks stolen it probably is so don't install it or if you find X act like you saw nothing or you may end up getting shot or beaten when you leave work so I get a few smaller installs done and the other guy working with me got ready to do a huge job a deck amp subs capacitor speakers DVD headrests the whole lot customer arrives and his pimped out Caprice and more gold on him than El Dorado we do our paperwork estimate and walk around and start doing our condition check of the interior and we both notice a skunky smell perm not a big deal we encounter it once a week or so we just don't know the smells origin we begin dismantling the interior panels to run our wires for the amp and this includes pulling up the rear seat after getting the rear seat off we find two bundles of herb under a little trapdoor we laugh it off and continue on our install while trying to find a good ground point for the amp in the trunk we find another force compartment behind the a pillar of the car we found more baggies of Herber dam behind the dashboard was more bundles of herb and coke behind the glove compartment was a clock without a serial number the gun P me off because I knew it was stolen and knew it was probably used for some very less than legal things being a responsible gun owner it p me off what really finally got both of us to stop inform our manager and call the police was when we installed the DVD player we were told that it was out of his old truck and might have a DVD in it no problem we power it up eject the DVD before installing and installed it we put the DVD back in to check functionality it was a burnt bootleg DVD whatever I own bootleg we get the DVD to play and it was some fairly hardcore what we presume teenage pee we shut it off and went to tell the manager to call the cops we get the customer back inand he pays for everything and just tell him it will be a few more minutes he checks out our work gets all excited and says he is going out to smoke just as he walks outside the city cops arrive and pounce on him to catch a predator style the most fricked up part is he did not deny the CP DVD but the pounds of drugs and gun he had hidden under guidance from his lawyer he eventually took a plea deal and is in jail for something like 20 years with a lifetime of being on a diddlers list once he gets out TL DR installed bumps in a guy's trunk found drugs gun and chill P sick prick denied the drugs and guns but not the P he now sits in a nice state prison I worked on a fishing boat nuff said but if you want specifics I saw a guy die and I saw the guy jacking off with a fish stomach I work at a nice restaurant and this lady brought a three-year-old when he ran out of the milk Lee was given by us she took out her boob sucked her tit and spit the milk into the glass I worked at the local morgue about six years ago it was the best and most relaxing job ever I had my own office and could sleep at work if there was nothing to do 95% of the time there was nothing to do the downside was what I had to see and smell on my first day on the job I had to transport a corpse from the hospital to the freezer everything was fine until I had to actually step into the freezer the smell it's something very unique about it it smells like sweet cold and decaying meat it's a smell you'll never forget when I stepped into the freezer I saw corpses there were everywhere I counted 13 corpses on the metal tables some in caskets and the rest in the cabinets I vividly remember an old lady with freshly painted red toenail polish I had a huge problem with getting any sleep after that day several weeks passed before I actually managed to relax again I once had to transport a corpse from one of the wards to the freezer it was night and most of the lights had been shut off or dimmed standing alone in the elevator with a newly deceased person was very unnerving my imagination went wild zombies came to mind and I began clutching my flashlight for protection when I came to the freezer I had to call a pathologist to help me with carrying the corpse over to the metal table we grabbed the corpse he held the shoulders and I held the feet suddenly I heard a gurgling noise gurgle all howl followed by a horrible putrid smell in the color brown I looked up at the doctor in pure horror did he just do what I think he did I asked him yeah they tend to evacuate their bowels he chuckled it was the first time I witnessed that but not the last I've transported corpses to run from the autopsy room I've even been to a couple of autopsies the worst part was when the pathologist cut opened the abdomen the smell and the sound was unbearable it's even worse if they managed to puncture the gallbladder or the intestines there were a couple of dissected body parts stored in jars in the autopsy room most Tophet were heads or organs but there were a hand or a foot there as well it was all used for anatomy class for medical students as far as I can recall I've also seen a guy who had his head split open the poor guy was drunk and had just come out of a bar the bar was at the top of a shopping more than the guy thought it would be a great idea to slide on the handrail sadly he lost balance and plummeted seven floors down to his death not a pretty sight had literally landed on his upper body the head was almost split open at the middle TL DR you'll see smell and hear a lot of unnerving things if you work at a morgue I worked as a gardener for a small business last summer we had to work for an elderly lady who was about 65 years old so one morning we started to work in her garden and I had to go inside to ask something but as I entered the living room I saw the old lady masturbating with a big butt black corncob I've ever seen must have been about 15 inches I nope the heck out of there and went back outside shocked by what I ten minutes later the lady walked outside not knowing that I saw it and looking really happy she asked me why I was so pale thanks to the shock and I muttered something about being a little C we had to keep working there for a couple more days but it never did I set foot in that house again when something needed to be asked I always let someone else do it TL DR elder lady masturbating with a big black corn cob and she never knew I saw it she knew you saw she wanted you to see you have been visited by the Holly dagger like and subscribing magnificent person [Music]

Channel: Updoot Everything

Views: 316,506

Rating: 4.8318448 out of 5

Keywords: messed up, job stories, job, work, work place, work stories, misconduct, working, office, #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, \r, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny reddit stories, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, reddit stories 2019, people of reddit, sub, reddit cringe, memes, toadfilms, updoot everything, updoot reddit, story, stories, rslash, comedy, fresh

Id: 3DoKdY5Pxjk

Length: 53min 20sec (3200 seconds)

Published: Sat May 02 2020