What is the best “You f***ed with the wrong person” moment you’ve seen? r/AskReddit | Reddit Jar

our /r screwed it what is the best you f ed with the wrong person moment you've seen was riding the bus home from school one day bunch of ourselves messing around in the back throwing food and other junk acquired overweight kids sat in front of them minding his own business when one of the assholes thought it would be funny to shove an old sandwich in his face and call him fat boy quiet kid stood up and knocked him out in a single hit then grabbed his bag and walked up to the front of the bus and got off at his stop as if nothing happened there was a bully in my high-school class who liked to pants other guys his goal was usually to get both the pants and the boxers leaving the victims dick blowing in the breeze after Jim the bully decided his target was a guy named Dan dan was a brilliant yet awkward guy definitely on the spectrum dan was a tall gangly guy and an easy target however Dan had a secret he had just received his black belt in jujitsu and was fully capable of absolutely fucking shit up I think you see where this is going anyway the bully struts up to Dan and winks his shorts down shorts boxers everything dan is left standing there fully on display with the whole class laughing at him Dan calmly stepped out of his down shorts and put the bully into some crazy hold once he got the bully to squeal he flipped him over his back onto the bleachers the gym teacher saw the whole thing the bully suffered a broken leg missed out on his entire senior year of athletics and was suspended dan received a warning not to break the legs of anymore classmates me drunk off on a party bus for my cousin's 21st being a complete ass because I was letting my brother who had issues with someone get me worked up on his drama got in a huge brawl outside of one of the stops and decided to take a shot at one of the guys I didn't like hit him with everything I had I mean everything I literally broke my fucking hand on his face he got up looked at me and calmly said you just fucked up he was right scrappie Chihuahua man Road rages at me I flip him off and pull into the grocery store parking lot I needed to get formula for my daughter he followed me oh dear get out of the car ere thought I'm gonna kick your ass okay I'm six five inches bald bearded and since I lost weight and started lifting I've been mistaken for similar-looking NFL defensive lineman I got out of my bright green Volkswagen Beetle crossed my arms and looked straight at him for about ten seconds before he got back in his shitty little Honda and peeled out of the parking lot good thing too I don't know how to fight long yuppie frat boy in an econ course I was taking my freshman year got caught cheating at my university we all sign a contract agreeing to their honor code policies and cheating is an automatic expulsion but the professor decided to be nice and was just going to give the kid a zero on the exam frat kid doesn't think that's enough and it turns into an argument kid starts saying how in his family is at the University and how none of this matters because he'll just pull some strings long story short our professor is actually close friends with the Chancellor of our school not only did the kid get expelled from the school but they somehow got him into legal trouble as well for some of the comments made in class that day I don't know what was said that could have been used against him but the kid ended up in some deep shit not witnessed in person but this TL DR two guys went on a stag doin Swansea dressed and dragged a couple of thugs decided to give them shit for it and took a swing at them turned out the to drag acts were professional cage fighters didn't end well for the troublemakers and witness it but when I worked for AT&T a gentleman and his wife came in because his sons iPhone six was bent so they wanted to get him a new phone how did it get bent some turd held the boy up while he was walking home from school taking his money and his phone both of his parents were retired police officers and his father trained SWAT tactics and hand-to-hand combat the son went home empty-handed and was initially scared to tell his parents because the thief told the boy he knew where he lived and threatened him his parents eventually got him to tell them what happened the thief was hanging out at a laundromat near their home when the robbery took place the dad called his cop buddies who immediately rolled up to the laundromat along with the dad where they apprehended the guy who still had the phone in his pocket it got bent during the ensuing scuffle dudes stole from the wrong kid the kid was very polite and kind while in the store he seemed pretty shook up I was glad for him that his dad had his back this is low-key but I enjoyed it my first week at a white-collar job my first such job and we were in the middle of a department-wide meeting about 17 co-workers and supervisors all together the person leading the meeting asks a question of no one in particular and several of us answer my arm said the fit from the rest one guy turns to me and says let's leave these questions to the people who actually have a master's degree shall we I looked at him and said I have a master's degree the room went silent except for one guy who loudly Willet I had given the correct answer to top it off friend of my brothers was this big dude six feet three inches or 4 inches and maybe 275 anyway I always thought he was awesome but he had been known to drink and act the fool one night he comes over with a mouthful of stitches like 30 top and bottom from his teeth he's all embarrassed and my brother is busting up turns out he got bumped at the bar something innocuous and gets in this guy's face to hear my brother tell it this dude was like alene 5 feet 9 inches and I guess he tried to talk my buddy bound like a champ but like I said drunk asshole anyway this guide had enough eventually and kicked my buddy right in the mouth from about a foot away busted him wide open and he did about what you'd expect wound and bled turns out the other guy was a champion kickboxer this was the early nineties when martial artists weren't a dime a dozen and he felt so bad about what he'd done he tried to drive my buddy to the ER Dave a customer politely inquiring about the status of his Avenger PlayStation 3 controller order and Paul Christopher oh of ocean marketing the PR lead for the products exchange emails the rep for ocean marketing is a ranting lunatic and explains that they have a booth at PAX East 30 Aaron don't need to have good customer support mic crackle like the writer of Penny Arcade and owner of PAX East gets involved in the ranting lunatic turns on him apparently not knowing who he is my grandpa was a non-vet really nice guy kind of your typical portly bula type well one day we were at the mall and on the way back to the Carson frat douche looking guy was walking along singing a dirty song comprised mostly of profanity my grandpa told him hey there's kids around here watch your mouth guy sizes up my grandpa sees he's kinda old got a belly and decides he's going to prove to his two buddies how tough he is by bowing up on an old man he flexes his coot off sleeve our arms juts is barbed édouard tribal neck tattoo chin out and keine tries to chess bump my grandpa my grandpa suddenly is in this perfect box's stance and just rocks this guy in the gut frat dude goes down on his knees winded and my grandpa says I said watch your mouth boy guy starts to get up and say fuck you but my grandpa puts a left hook into his face and a right punch into his neck under his ear and the dude goes down spread-eagled out cold my grandpa steps over him walking towards his two buddies who booked it we got in the car and he made me promise not to tell my mom watching my 72 year old father beat the piss out of a guy who tried to steal my mom's purse it was like a shopping center like thing a popular one in England cool Trafford Centre there were these two very built-up men obviously bodybuilders getting quite heated and looking like they were about to throw hands a small crowd had gathered around one of them threw a punch and the other one returned with a revenge blow security came and saw TIFF hesitated as the size of these men was triple of the biggest security guard they had this is when some old woman maybe 80 early nineties stepped between them and scolded them it's not really a foo Edward the wrong person moment but you're not going to punch a little old woman back in the 1980s I took a commercial tour in Africa a local cop in an obscure town decided that accusing a group of American tourists of illegally photographing a police station would be a good way to ingratiate himself with the local commandant so he arrested us and hold us off to see the Commandant who was not amused to save face he agreed to let us go after we swore we wouldn't sell pictures of the police station to American newspapers it didn't hurt that we on the two leaders advice were loudly demanding that he called the American ambassador we learned later that things did not go well for the local cop the tour organizer was a European who was best friends with a man considered a national hero in that country the organizer had contracted with a local company to do the logistics for the tour the local company was owned by national heroes brother local guide made a call national hero made a call commandant understood which side his bread was buttered on and ifbb pro bodybuilder was at a nightclub hanging out and a fight broke out an angry large man probably 230 pounds over 6 feet tall tried to shove him in the commotion I watched him pick the guy up like Simba carry him out on the street and Chuck him onto the sidewalk like he was an old cabbage we were in the funeral procession on a back road headed to the cemetery for my uncle's graveside service this jackwagon and his posed mobile comes speeding up a side road breaks the line and decides to pass everyone using the left lane he was a real jackass and totally disrespectful when he overtook the hearse his day took a downturn as he forced one of the eight motorcycle escorts off the road it was at this point he found that there were hundreds of police cars following behind the family my uncle was a high ranking deputy sheriff and basically every local police officer state trooper and deputies from over 50 counties were attending that funeral when his car disappeared in the rearview mirror he was gently being taken into custody and placed into the back of a deputy's Cruiser by several layers I was on vacations few years ago and one day I see a man running away from some lady chasing him and suddenly three guys appear out of nowhere and one of them punches that man in the face I still remember the sound of that punch then one of them started calling the police while the other two were making sure the man doesn't get up later I found out that the man was a child molester and he was asking weird questions to children of that lady who was later chasing him in seventh grade my friend was self-conscious about his weight one day at lunch I was watching him and another friend chasing each other I forgot why they were the one friend said you can't catch me fattest and the next thing I knew there was a loud smacking the kid was on the grass with a bloody nose my mom told me this story about my dad about when they were young newly married I don't think an adult could necessarily get away with this in American helicopter parent culture these days but this happened in the late 70s my dad was a restaurant manager and had to fire a high school kid he lived in the same neighborhood as my parents and would often see my dad when he and his friends were driving to school they would flip my dad off and yell things at him one day my dad got sick of it all and drove to their school found them trying to park used his car to block them got out and went up to the kids car window and told him if you ever flip me off again I'm going to rip that finger off and shove it up your ass the kid stopped flipping him off not seen but heard a few years ago the family gathered at an aunt's house for Christmas or some other suitable event and I was chilling out with my assorted cousins one of my cousins six feet one inches male was telling us about this time that his sister probably five feet four inches but got bagged snatched now I suspect it was because my cousin is five feet four inches the dude probably thought she was an easy target or something so she came home all battered and bruised with a fat lip and my cousin her brother asked her what the hell was going on she said some guy tried to jump her and steal her handbag now these two cousins and their father my uncle are all black belt in various forms of martial art my cousin decked her would-be attacker while they fought over her bag when she beat him off with a bloody nose and then came straight home this is the same cousin who is terrified of tiny spiders and once refused to get out of the car until her brother had killed a spider on the windshield my uncle is a five feet four inches little ball of concentrated muscle spit and vinegar packed so tightly it makes his temper super dense and hot like a massive star on top of that he has a bit of a drinking problem I've seen him walk into fights with everyone around us thinking he is going to die only to see him victoriously dragged away in handcuffs after putting some poor sap in the hospital but needless to say he is in prison quite a bit and from how often he doesn't make parole I assume he fights a tonne in there - I think this is relevant I was jumped in a Kroger parking lot late at night while I was on my way to my car I only had one bag here's the thing I had just gotten out of basic training for the infantry all that ground fighting techniques training was fresh still and I ended up breaking his shit whether straight on bar then I ran like a bitch leaving him there screaming drove to a gas station and called the cops most of this I learned secondhand as it occurred when I was younger my dad bought some oil field royalties percentage ownerships of what is produced that gave a check each month for a few hundred bucks well as time goes by the checks begin to dwindle and then stop at this point he began to look into the company that operated the oil field and received a significantly less than satisfactory answer at this point they really should have just given him the checks each month because at his point he proceeded to look into the company and peel back a metric shit-ton of fraud and other deceptions over the course of a seven-year litigation case my dad figured out exactly how they were committing fraud and after working with a few lawyer friends hit them with the bitch-slap of God in court which removed their operators license for oil wells and promptly they're off to the went out of business he ruined a fifty million dollar company because they tried to screw him out of a few hundreds bucks a month happened on my behalf I went to my community college for my BT EC that's a bit like an associate's degree and there were a few mature students in my class there was one guy named Dave Dave was the kind of guy that was so big he loomed he was also a super nice guy and I helped him out with his coursework because he was trying to get into the IT industry well at the time I was this skinny runt of a 17 year old and one day I'm minding my own business and some other student starts trying to push me around all of a sudden a shadow appears between the two of us Dave just taps him on the shoulder no you don't touch him he's my friend you understand never had any trouble again Kota say every skinny nerd needs a friend like Dave middle school back in the early nineties Los Angeles when gangs were running rampant we had this big son of a bitch named Phil easily one of the biggest 8th graders at the school anyway one day at bay he comes storming out of the locker room and marches right over to this little gangster who he says stole his money this little dude thinks he's hot shit because he's a gangster stops yakking two of his homies hear him yakking and come to his side now Phil has three gangsters in his face threatening him to do something well Phil did something he fucking obliterated these three bones in less than a minute I mean he was pounding on them and throwing them all over the place hell even some of their friends were running over and punching Phil trying to get him off nope Phil kept on going by the time the coaches came to separate them there were three gangsters with bloody noses and faces all fucked up and there was Phil just huffing and puffing without a scratch lessons from that day don't fuck with Phil seventh grade new kid in school I forgot his name but he looked like the douche from 10 Things I Hate About You he gets egged on to fight the special education kid we'll call him Kendall sweet kid down syndrome took a long time for him to agree to meet douche nozzle behind the band Hall he does doubt shallow dances in in front of half the student body and gets deflected and destroyed every punch he threw turned into a throw or a joint lock he got tossed and pushed away four times before on the fifth time Kendal locks him up again turns him around and then pumps his family jewels into his throat Kendall was a very quiet man used to be involved with some shady people great guys though we were all taking charges of GHB juice the date rape drug can be used recreationally and one guy snuck some into a girl's drink later that night one of my friends saw and told my friends they typed the guide to the bottom of the hosts couch and left him there for two days without food or water here where I live it's a small country community and everyone knows everyone had neighbors over for a DBQ and the one guy everyone knows as an asshole who was not invited shows up drunk he proceeded to get mouthy and obnoxious and was asked to leave he vocally declared that he would not leave until he was ready to and there wasn't a more theft here not good make him upon his third time yelling out there's not a moth here he got my full attention he's maybe 160 pounds I'm a solid 300 I can pick up the rear bumper on the rs10 pickup and get the rear tires off the ground fairly easy I chased him out to the middle of the yard and got nose to nose with him I think I had spooked him a little when I told him that he had successfully gained this motherf wistful attention and I would put him in his truck and not be nice and courteous and opened the door when I do it he had instant look of horror on his face and took off running out the driveway yes running for his life apparently as he had left his truck he sent our truck to pick it up the next day and none of my neighbors have had any problems with him since I only know this by stories but after Vietnam my grandpa became a door-to-door salesman one time a person called him on the phone and told him that he/she was interested in his product when he came to the house a women opened the door and told him to come in as soon as he did my grandpa a man behind the door presumably the woman's spouse boyfriend pulled a gun to my grandpa's head well this happened a short time after Vietnam and he was still in a military like state and without thinking removes the gun from the guy's hand pushed him on the ground and started punching the guy in the throat my grandpa didn't go to jail and the man with the gun loved even today my grandpa gets a kick thinking about the women screaming at my grandpap you're gonna kill him you're gonna kill him I didn't see this but my French teacher has told this story a million times my school has had trips to Europe before and the French teacher and the art teacher mrs a always go mrs and is one of the oldest teachers at my school and she's the one everyone is afraid of she's actually very nice and funny but if you get on her bad side it's scary I imagine people in public see her as some weird old lady they don't want to go near one time on a Paris trip a group of boys probably around college-age groped a couple of the girls on the trip when they were off doing whatever later that day when the whole group was together the girls saw the group of boys and told mrs ah hey there's those boys that grabbed our butts and she went fuck in a / shit she walked up to them and started screaming about how if they went near her girls again they were gonna feel her off these kids didn't speak English very well and they thought she was pretty funny so they laughed and walked away then she grabbed them by their shirts pulled them up to her face and proceeded to scream her fucking head off at them she's a pretty badass old woman I finally have a place to put this so there was the girl in my school who ended up bullying me like real bullying four to one stroke 2-3 years she and I are also on the same swim team so when it reached a fever pitch I ended up telling our coach he sat us down and we BR filled it as I unloaded all the things she did to me she had no way to deny it she broke down into began crying and kind of sitting in the fetal position and our coach who is the nicest person ever dropped the big one he said he was disappointed in her that was harsh for him walking out of the back room smiling while she was red in the face and keine still crying in front of her friends some pretty good stuff although I kinda did want to see more repercussions video of these dudes fucking with a guy on a bike he gets off knocks them both out clean and rides off like it's nothing I think it might be on our fight porn and sure though was in a Canadian bar foreign I hit on some chicken she was diggin me but the guy that thought she was there with him wasn't enjoying the idea she was going home with me he told me to F off and she told me he was just obsessed with her and they were nothing he warned me I was asking with the wrong guy while wearing a Tapout tee anyways her and I were dancing and then the dude come out of nowhere and tries to King hit me I was holding her at the time and the dude ended up knocking her out in my arms security saw the whole thing and jumped the guy I just walked off back to the hotel alone we had a vendor who showed up once a week and was a bit of a hand mash like to crush your knuckles while shaking your hand the boss had just hired a tow he looking middle-aged guy for the sales department I told him to beware he's shaking the vendors hand a few days later the vendor shows up puts his hand out to the new guy with a big smile and goes in for the kill at first everyone is smiling the new guy is looking him in the eye while pumping his hand furiously then stops the smile melts off the vendors face he had a paint look on his face as his lips pursed together the vendor yelled a long eer and dropped the new guy's hand like it was lava hold the new guy aside and asked how he did that 10 years I drove a tow truck must have changed thousands of flat tires with just hand tools nobody crushes my hand not exactly fucked with but still a great story my grand grandpa has the best my grandpa is a white old man religious Muslim long white beard traditional hat really polite person he looks more like old wise man in Japanese cartoons but dresses really humble you would think he is probably a really poor man with his perhaps 20 years old hat white beard and cane little everyone knows he studied in the best high school and the University of the country speaks French Arabic Persian English and Greek acted in theatres all his youth man of immense culture so we went a doctor for his eye exam doctor wanted him to read something doc grandpa do you know how to read grandpa which language my son so in my university people hazed the freshman in all kinds of crazy ways it was out of control for a period then one of the freshmen was acquired small constantly smiling guy who was from a rural area on the India China border from a village where they had only three hours of electricity a day he didn't speak much English or Hindi one of the seniors targeted him and slapped him or something guy took it all smilingly then in the dead of the night he waited till when the senior was all alone outside then dragged him into the woods and beat the fuck out of him no one messed with him after that when I was in fifth grade some neighborhood bullies decided to pick on my younger brother 4th grade because he had a speech impediment it got so bad that we started getting off at another bus stop and cutting though the woods sadly the bullies figured this out and and we'll be waiting in our back yard when we got home fast forward a few weeks and my grandparents were in town so we told them if the bullies showed up we would bang on the metal deck poles to let them know we were in trouble but well that afternoon sure enough the bullies were waiting we immediately banged the poles and the kids said oh we know your grandparents are home what are they going to do at this point my 72 year old grandfather who was a retired colonel from the Marines and served as a tank commander in the Pacific Theater during World War two and career comes running out the back door with a metal baseball bat at a full sprint threatening to Hulk smash anyone who doesn't immediately run I'm fairly certain some or all were pissing themselves as they screamed running away needless to say we never got picked on again anytime a heckler tries to fuck with a comedian on stage a heckler a drunk guy girl yelling belligerent things without thought a comedian someone whose job is to be quick witty funny those poor people never stand a chance if anyone has never seen this before and wants to spend a few hours in a YouTube spiral just search comedian owns heckler and proceed to enjoy some grade-a justice served to assholes there was this guy who was part of our group in college he was an ass but he was one of the guys brothers so he hung out with us a lot whenever he would get drunk he will try to pick fights we would just shake it off and ignore him one of the guys hosted a pretty big night party as it goes this dude got drunk and tried to pick fights again people were getting uncomfortable there was one guy at the party who was about six feet four and built like a tank who was just not having it he waited to be confronted and they immediately carried the guy outside and threw him down on a stair and broke his leg he stopped picking fights after that dickhead bully screwed with a younger kid in high school who was super nice and a really good friend of mine I didn't like it so I got in the bully's face and told him I'd kick his ass well we went at it and I absolutely got the shit kicked out of me fuck a new judo or something yeah I fucked with the wrong person I'd do it again though seventh grade science bully almost more of a bully's henchmen said something about a quiet kids mother quiet kids mum was dead quiet kid also apparently studied boxing who knew what did you say about my mom Lam what did you say about my mom when bully henchman was so shocked he did nothing and took the two straight punches to his face I don't think he got in trouble happened before the teacher came in there was this guy who played drums all the time in Hawaii on the city strip nice guy never chatted much except for a wave and to throw him a few dollars some drunk tourist decided it would be fun to mess with his drums guy gave him so many chances to walk away drunk tourist winds up for a punch in the Duke just knocked him out in one punch I just stood there and my buddy had the presence of mind to tell the guy to pack his shit and leave before the cops come guy was pretty fucked up and we helped him till the ambulance came I'm pretty sure with the way that his jaw looked it wouldn't be a short recovery this guy well his subcontractors does a lot of work for my local smallish City County about five million dollars worth of work last year he has an autistic son and is a pretty nice if super cheap by this other subcontractor was kind of a piece of shit was one of those I'll say whatever I want cuz in the free speech well on his second or third job the boss stops by to check on stuff and drop off some materials the sub starts running his mouth about stupid shit and eventually starts telling retard jokes the boss says you know I have an autistic son right this was his perfect sponsz yup I did sorry about your shitty lark dude hasn't done a single job for the city since no other contractors will even toss him some work pretty sure his business is going under he did shit work anyways if you want to get nothing in return you can like and join my discord there is a link in the description

Channel: Reddit Jar

Views: 414,962

Rating: 4.8966951 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/AskReddit

Id: VE5tnV7F7jQ

Length: 30min 49sec (1849 seconds)

Published: Tue Aug 20 2019