What Would Ruin Your Life If People Knew? (r/AskReddit)

throw away time what's your secret that could literally ruin your life if it came out two and a half years ago I was in dire financial straits so I sold my home to keep my struggling business afloat I neglected to tell the owners that they have an 800-square featuring bunker on the property that I built about seven years ago the bunker that I've called home since I sold it the entrance to it is well hidden but I still come and go very early very late and today I'm a single man who keeps to himself I'm now in a situation where I could move somewhere else but I love this hidden paradise so much I speak two languages so every time I received the new si I were browsed the topic in my own language and translate the text word by word to English then submitted it no one ever caught me for plagiarism before half of Europe does this I cut a full contact with everyone I know and moved to Kenya I tell people a fake name and a fake background and have made it appear to my family that I died on boat trip in the Pacific but no I am not joking I am dead in the United States okay so this is the secret I've kept for nearly 20 years during the summers when I was growing up my parents would often leave my brother and I I mail with our aunt and uncle who lived out in the country it was great as they had four sons of Ages close to power so we had a lot of fun doing kids stuff one summer when I was 8 the oldest cousin was maybe 16 we somehow got talking and he asked me if I wanted to sleep in his room that night he has the nicest room and bed so I was all for it got into bed and he asked if he could touch my dong I was 8 and just thought it was ok so I let him he rubs it for a bit and then asks me to do the same to him so I do this progresses sindh eventually I am sucking his dong I think I knew this was wrong so I said I didn't want to carry on we stop and I go to sleep quite confused I wake up and he hands me some money and tells me never to tell anyone about what happened next night he tries to do the same thing but now all i care about is the money so i do it this carried on for two summers eventually I got Alden to realize it was quite wrong regardless of the money and stopped I've not told anyone this he's now married with two kids I'm also married and we see them sometimes at family events I don't have the balls to even try and talk to him about it Haeckel I'm not even sure what I'd say I'm sure this will get buried but just getting it off my chest makes me feel better TLDR I was a gay child age God the TLDR just wrapped it up so beautifully I once helped out my a female friends family by taking care of their cat for a week every day for a week I would go over there and snoop around their house I found my friend's diary and proceeded to read the entire thing I used this information to get her to like me and she is currently my wife this is literally the juiciest secret for some reason not totally bland but not overly obscene probably because this is something I could actually picture any person doing if given the chance when I was 13 during the summer before I started high school I was physically shamed by a guy who dragged me into an alley backed me into a corner so I couldn't escape and even if I tried to I couldn't have because he was taller and stronger than I was and pulled my pants down I tried to draw attention to where I was because I had gone over to a guy's house with my friend because she liked him and when we went he just happened to have a friend there to hang out with me while they went off and did whatever anyway I tried to shout and make as much noise that I couldn't the guy goes this would be easier if you were laying down and tried to force me to the ground then my friend finally shows up and goes oMG my name what are you doing in the guy obviously doesn't go oh you know I was trying to violate her this was my idea but instead go she was trying to freak me hahahaha Heron just walks away then my friend doesn't believe me when I tell her he dragged me into the alley because she disappeared well before anyone could see him pulling on my arm with both hands and me trying to resist it as much as I could I never told anyone because I didn't want them to react the same way my friend did I think about it a lot and every day I say maybe this will be the day I finally tell my parents what happened and then I never do that was almost six years ago my friend and I no longer speak but I'd stopped being friends with her maybe five or six months after that because she told a couple of our other friends that I tried to Frick a guy I'd known for all of five minutes during the summer I don't want to be with my girlfriend anymore but she might have cancer and I feel like I need to stay in the relationship I have seen 50 stroke 50 she's healthy and I split up with her before we found out yay for life working out well man that is rough I faked the last two years of college education my parents put so much pressure on me I couldn't handle it I was suffering from severe depression and anxiety so I faked it all lied to everyone made up fake transcripts I just got my foot in the door in my desired field thanks to a friend as they hired me as a subordinate this place only hires college grads but no one double-checked my credentials since I was recommended my hopes is that if I need to find another job I'll have been at this place long enough to get it by experience alone I work for a very prestigious company I'm not bad at my job I'm actually quite good but my fear is eventually I'll hit a wall and the lie will come to light no one has known this for the better part of a decade it's a relief to finally say it out loud I can't even tell there's our love my silence is my prison if you get caught and go to a community college you'll find a hilarious study group when I was 17 I had an argument with my father and told him to freak off later that evening Lee hung himself our argument was the last time he spoke to anyone in our family and for that I feel a terrible amount of guilt for instead of him saying goodbye and I love you too my mom and brothers he got told to freak off before he went and killed himself my punishment is to live the rest of my days in shame and guilt he never left a note either everyone thinks I have a good job and run mates but I've been homeless and a prostitute's for over a year there have been a lot of hammers about prostitutes who ultimately worked their way out of the business I hope things get better for you to fight a guy here it's amazing what people will do on their computers and same their emails despite having to sign a waiver that all the computer activity at work is monitored and recorded I have half the company's banking social media and personal email account info and passwords I know who is secretly banging who was the office behind their spouses backs I know who is cyber ring at work and jerking it in the bathroom almost daily at least they tell their obscene chat partner they're running off to the bathroom to jerk it haven't felt the need to check the validity of apt one I know when people are having Marshall problems financial problems I even know one person here had their children taken away because a social worker found C in their house I know who is embezzling money I know when people get fired for completely Bull's reasons like they just want to replace them with someone younger and nicer on the eyes and I know who my boss is buying xanax and vikrant's from basically I have a treasure trove of my co-workers secrets I won't actively do anything with this info but it's nice knowing I have the ammunition there if something were to ever happen when I was 15 my parents were going through a divorce my mom worked night shifts and my dad was living with a friend office one night my sister who was 19 at the time came home pretty drunk from a party she was acting goofy and fell on the couch next to me she started grabbing my leg and laughing and we started fondling we ended up freaking right there when we woke up the next day she had no recollection of the night before so I just kept my mouth shut fast-forward to when I'm 18 sister is home from college and dad is over for a visit they get into an argument and in a fit of rage my dad announces how he has never forgiven her for the abortion she got when she was 19 and subsequently killing his grandchild he's very religious I then realized the baby she aborted was in fact mine and as far as I know I am the only one who knows since she has never mentioned that night crap it may not have been yours with any luck you were just stirring some poor Schmo is porridge from earlier that night I once took a crap in the bathtub and then realizing what a horrible mistake I'd made I flung poo into a hole in the wall my parents renovated and patched up the hole so now there is a 15 year old turd in-between the bathroom and kitchen wall of my childhood home and not even using a throwaway because I have no shame the tell-tale poop yesterday I thought I had problems today my life is grand six hours ago I am the worst who fails calculus two semesters in a row I think I should kill myself now every sunbeam is like the hair of a seraph my daughter turns five next week if anyone knew the truth behind her parentage I could probably lose her forever I grew up in foster care never knew my parents or siblings in my senior year I met an older guy and we dated for almost a year getting pregnant about seven months in one night while we were watching TV the subjects somehow came around to our real parents he had been adopted as a young child it turns out the man I was seeing the father of my daughter is my half-brother we have the same mother our relationship didn't last and he is not in her life by his own choices my daughter is extremely smart beautiful and well-rounded she'll never know the truth her father and I made a pact to never tell her I just hope she never needs a kidney or something keep reading about people who knowingly slept with relatives they grew up with is it bad that I feel slightly less horrible you wouldn't lose your daughter this was an accident not something you did no you shouldn't feel horrible at all not your fault not life-ruining but makes me feel like crap every time I think about it as I've told ridet before I have a blind brother when we were young I used to get so frustrated at all the extra attention he received and how I had to be more responsible with my sibling than my peers so when my brother and I would go play go to the store or just generally go anywhere without adults I would abandon him somewhere unfamiliar to him then I would stand off quietly and watch the anxiety set in as he tried to figure out where he was and what was going on also I was really intelligent as a child and knew that was my ticket to attention when I would help my brother with his homework I was teach him all the wrong answers so that I could continue being the smarter sibling today my brother is my best friend he goes to college and lives by himself he's become one of the most intelligent men I've ever met I'm trying to make it up to him now by being the best big sister EVER but I still feel so guilty at how I found him to be a burden when I was a kid I immediately called my brother after posting this in court him while he was walking to a study group I told him about my guilt and he laughed he understands how frustrating it must have been he told me that all of the good things I have done as a sister completely overshadow everything bad I did and that he loves me more than anything I'm glad I spoke with him and I encourage others on here to talk to someone if they can your edit was the most beautiful thing I've read all day in a depressing thread I'm so glad for your Redemption with your brother I accidentally killed seven people I put a rag into a new water heater exhaust to keep debris out and installed it in a rental I get a call a week later there's been an accident I show up and there's a ton of Em's and police they ask me where the gas shutoff is and I go down to shut the gas off and see the end of the rag I forgot sticking out of the top of the heater ripped the rag out shut the gas off and head upstairs only to be told all the tenants were dead I drink all day now and sleep it's killing me from the inside every single day that if I say anything my family is ruined we have a bunch of rental properties and we'd be shut down it wouldn't ruin my life percent because there are people in my life who are aware of this but I did try to kill myself once at my college was going to swallow I think tylenol and a handle of vodka intending to induce organ failure and alcohol poisoning I ended up about to swallow the cheap alcohol made me so aware of my actions that I spit it out and ran to my friend's room I stole the alcohol from him and it's the only time I've knowingly stolen something to apologize this was maybe two years ago I ended up having to take a year off and was forced to explain the situation to the adults in my life for the first time they found out that I had been physically assaulted by my older brothers for about five years and that I had been suffering from depression for about nine years they did not understand didn't understand how I could be broken up over something that happened years ago convinced that I was just trying to weasel myself out of my dream College or that I am too stupid to handle it and when I finally convinced them to let me see a shrink all they spoke about was how pointless therapy was and wanted to know how long this would last I ended up returning to her and then leaving college again once again due to depression now the verbal abuse that I faced growing up has increased tenfold almost every day is some sort of argument with me hearing about how I freaked up my life and that I'm a jackass and a fool I desperately want to leave but I have nowhere to go I have no job and no money so I can't afford an apartment or therapy I am so tired of being mistreated and I want to be free but I'm trapped in this hellhole I know I'm late but I just wanted to get this out in the open since I haven't really been able to speak to people about this for months now I'm sincerely afraid that I'll never be able to become the man that I want to be because I'm too busy trying not to slip back into a depressed state as long as I avoid doing anything slightly challenging or thinking for too long I can stay neutral if anyone does read this and the nose of something I can do to get away please let me know thank you I'm back at my dream College hoping that this time I can make it through I seek therapy with a delightfully quirky Jewish lady and having that stability there is so useful it's going to be a long ride for me and I don't know how my future will look but I'm in so much better of a place than I was seriously though thank you again all of you for the support and the kind words it became too much to respond to every person but I appreciate everyone reaching out to me nonetheless : I hate all of my friends literally I don't have anything in common with any of them and don't care but I'm too scared to be alone and have no one else to go to so I keep hanging around with them I honestly can't think of a single person that I genuinely enjoy being around there are moments sure but I'm faking it most of the time I feel cold and heartless when I think about it but I really don't like people at all and yet I'm lonely scumbag brain damn it hugs to all who need it I hope you find the strength to overcome your problems my own secret is that I'm still deeply in love with my now married with kids first love nothing will ever happen and it is ridiculously hurtful [ __ ] w/e life goes on I have memories of my sister five years older and I playing a role play game when I was younger that I think would be considered physical shaming if I told anyone I don't remember how old we were but I know she was around the age where her breasts were developing when home alone we would play a roleplay game where she was a boss and I was a secretary and the boss would always physically Harris the secretary it ended in my sucking on my sister's breasts while she would lie on the couch with her shirt off my memory has always been really horrible so I only remember patches of this but I remember that it never felt sexual I don't actually trust my memory enough to feel confident that this really happened I love my sister she's my best friend and I would never want to damage our relationship by ever bringing this up and asking her what really happened it is a secret I will carry with me and never reveal also till it's hard coming up with a throwaway name I'm a woman just in case anyone assumed otherwise good throw away name considering I came very very close to committing a school shooting I was picked on a lot in high school I think it was because I tried so hard to be cool and every saw right through it there were these four cowboy jock types that gave it to me the worst after being publicly humiliated and beaten in front of a girl I liked as she laughed cheered I decided that none of it was worth it anymore I had no support at home being an only child and having parents that work constantly and cutting and burning myself didn't make me feel better anymore so I got my dad's handgun out of a gun safe he uses the same combo for everything the idiot and brought it to school with me the next day I can't adequately describe to you guys how ready I was to kill these four I had absolutely no fear or doubt in my mind I wanted nothing more than to show everyone what happens when you push someone over the edge like they did I had the gun tucked in my waistline I was wearing this baggy pair of cargo shorts that I wore a couple times a week that day I remember walking towards the Cowboys table so goddamn ready for it to be over when the gun fell out of my waist line down my left short leg and made the loudest fricking sound as it hit the cafeteria floor I tried my best to grab the gun real quick but people saw what it was unscreened and one of the instructors tackled me to the ground they eventually concluded that I had brought the gun to school to impress people with badassery and had no intention of using it I was expelled and sent to live at a youth ranch in Idaho until I was 18 I did have the intention of using it though I was going to kill all of em I'm 24 now and I still think about it all the time I have not recovered from high school I'm still terrified of people in general and avoid having relationships because of what I fear I'm capable of I'm not looking for pity I know that what I did was wrong it just feels good to tell the story thanks with it TL DR I attempted a school shooting some people really have no idea how bad bullying can really be well it's more of a secret to my friends that I've made recently some background first I don't like being touched or hugged and I'm incredibly uncomfortable with intimacy in general when I was in the eighth grade a bunch of girls in my class convinced me they had a friend who fancied me said she had seen me somewhere in thought I was cute faked her MSN account and they talked to me every night for a few months invited me out to the movies and obviously didn't show up then revealed to the whole grade that I had been tricked into having an imaginary girlfriend I was mocked viciously by everyone and the grade and ever since then I can't really trust women I also can't believe that a girl may have feelings for me even when they explicitly tell me they have feelings for me I can't help but feel like they're trying to trick me it's caused a lot of insecurity and I can't get attached to people easily I'm terribly afraid to text or message people first because I'm convinced I would be annoying them what's worse is that when I think about it I know it probably isn't true but I can't help but feel like it is even though he was grade 8 it was around the time when attraction to women was just starting to get real so to be hurt at a time as delicate as that has really done some damage the secret of course is that I had been dumb enough to be tricked as you might suspect the whole thing has left me afraid of being vulnerable to have this found out by my newer friends as in university friends would put me in a really uncomfortable place I probably wouldn't be able to be their friend anymore thanks for reading you're the first people I've told about what this event has actually done to me I've since met such a fantastic woman someone who makes me incredibly happy I love her very much she loves me and she's helping me get used to the idea of feeling valuable and trusting people or at least one person she's the best thing that's happened to me in a long time maybe ever I still have imaginary friends I'm almost 30 I lost them for a while I don't know why or how but if they were gone I couldn't see them or hear them anymore not the way I used to when I was younger it made me was miserable I kept hoping for a way to get them back two weeks ago I somehow managed to finally break through whatever the barrier was I have spent the past two weeks hanging out with and talking to a character from a well-known TV show I can't really see him visually but I can see him with my mind's eye he goes almost everywhere with me he's sitting on my bed right now waiting for me to get off my computer I promised I would get off a little while ago but I had to check rid it one last time he is been coming to work with me every day for the past two weeks I share my food with him I kind of mentally duplicated for him since he can't touch it in reality I love it I'm happy again I realize most people would say he isn't real but something about him ease I don't care he's real to me I am scared that if anyone knew I would be locked up and heavily medicated but I acknowledge it's not really unlikely scenario in my case I cop to the fact the character in question was cast shield from Supernatural cuz she'll still exists around in my head but is presently on sabbatical I spend most of my time nowadays with my brother Malcolm who was on Star Trek Enterprise he's our the best but he's a private person so I'll respect that I also spend a decent amount of time with Wilf and The Good Wife who is our other brother but only when he's not busy working on cases or spending time with Alisha yes imaginary universes have legal systems and Neil lawyers too will had a practise with Allan schore for a while until Allan got appointed a judge now he's partners with Romo Lampkin and a woman who was an RP character of mine briefly in college Mary at the Foyle Abba file Gardner Lampkin or AGL definitely give them a call if you're in a multiverse legal entanglement they'll take care of your needs lol I'm 20 and in college I've got an imaginary mum who comes and visits me occasionally my real mother is still alive but she was emotionally abusive and I don't like thinking about her the story I tell is that my first kiss was nine years ago when I was 14 with my now fancy force when I was 13 I babysat an eight-year-old boy his parents were very open and he was very physically aware I caught him watching pee a couple of times from the start he was very aggressive always grabbing me and trying to kiss me after a while oddly impressed with this new sort of attention and very curious about kissing one night we started making out this became routine and went on for probably almost a year before I realized how horrific and wrong my actions were I continued to Babis it him for a while but soon his parents stopped calling me I've always wondered why I'm terrified that I'll one day be exposed as a diddler TL DR as a 13 year old girl I frequently made out with an 8 year old I can't believe an ATO got more action than I ever did I used to masturbate a lot and when I was 10 I had a technique where I'd let off a load into a sock then wash it and quickly dry it now I couldn't leave it hanging outside or use a dryer otherwise my family would have seen it and probably smell it or what not also I'd put it inside my gas heater unit unfortunately my sock had caught on fire inside the unit blew it up and set my house on fire only my brother was home at a time and he managed to survive the house did not for five years we stayed from caravan park to caravan park whilst we waited for confirmation that it was not arson and we could receive an insurance payout we eventually didn't scrape together money to start rebuilding the house the house is still being rebuilt to this day and it shames me anytime I have to visit my parents living in a tiny mobile home where my backyard once was I have been pretending to be cold or blind to everyone I have ever known including my own parents since I was in third grade I am now 28 years old I even convinced an optometrist of it when I was 13 I caught my father in bed with my 15 year old brother's girlfriend also 15 I haven't seen her since but I've been blackmailing my father with it for the last six years you looked at a lake I had something very similar happened to me Opie will call him Tim Tim was my best friend and he always came to me when he needed someone his mum was bipolar and made his life really tough and he didn't know his dad we had two or three other suicide scares but we talked him out of it and brought him back from the air well this week he comes to school Monday and just seemed off we tried to talk to him but he never really responded part way through the week he calls me and asks if he can stay at my place that he can't stand his mom I asked my dad and he says no saying that Tim needs to deal with his problems at home I explained to Tim what the situation was and he says okay and hangs up that Friday I noticed that he seemed different at school and I had a really bad feeling about it he didn't even seem there I tried to talk to him or something but he just wasn't himself after school another friend brought him home at the end of the day and he was the last person to see Tim alive I got a call later that night that he had hung himself it's been two years and I still regret not helping Tim I feel like there was something I could have done it just sucks that I couldn't help him that time and that's all it took for him to slip away but thing number two my cousin has let me feel up her breasts for the past three years we started when she was 13 and I was 16 we never did anything else never below the belt or anything and we never talked about it I've since stopped doing it by avoiding being alone with her so neither office try something but we never talked about it if that came out I probably wouldn't be able to face that side log the family ever again I get nervous going to family gatherings sometimes because of what they don't know you can't go from suicidal friend story to incest I can't handle such extreme changes my grade six teacher let me touch her boobs once honestly I've kind of been waiting for a thread like this to come up none of my friends know any of this and I don't want to tell them not so much a lack of trust as their inability to understand so when I was in middle high school my mom sister and I were living with my stepfather better school district from where I was everything was fine for a few years but he got crazy whenever my mom left for work my sister and I were left alone with him until he left he worked second shift at first he'd starts with yelling at his for no good reason a reason yes never a good one it was always insignificant needless to say my sis and I were scared shitless when this happened things escalated from there he'd start hitting us almost every day again always over something insignificant a good example was when I hung one of his shirts with the hanger hook facing left instead of right it got to a point several times where he'd actually grabbed whichever one of us happened to be in his way and hold us off the ground against the wall by the throat to make it clear my mother knew about none of this the man knew how to hit you so it didn't leave a mark and he is an obscenely good liar any time we tried to call him out to her he lie his way around it the only time that other side came out around her he blamed it on his heart medicine my sister moved out when she turned 18 but I still had three years left so now all of his anger was directed at me one time in my senior year I was actually scared for my life and ran off into the woods next to the house until my mom got home but she finally believed me then and we made plans to leave as soon as I graduated she told him she wanted to leave and he of course decided that I was costing him his marriage those last few months were heck but in June of last year we moved I'm now in college safely away from him while I bear no malice against him I will not forgive the crap he put me through also it feels wonderful to finally get this off my chest until it to someone even if nobody reads this after graduating from high school I went to a small out-of-state College where no one from high school knew me I was told many times how impressive my false Australian accent was so I decided it would be great fun to go through college pretending to be from Australia all of my friends and even my girlfriend of two years think I'm Australian I have a completely fake Australian identity family and past I will soon be graduating and I plan on asking the girl to marry me everything she knows about me is Australian I don't know how to tell her she doesn't really know me but guess I'm forever a bloke hate to break it to you but you won't be marrying that girl unless it turns out she's actually from Australia has been pretending to be American for two years I've pretty much been a freak up all my life when I told someone I was suicidal they talked me out of doing it but I laid on them a bull story about being abused as a child and just generally made myself seem so pitiful and helpless they took me into their home and treated me as one of the family I still live here with them 10 years later I work in the garden and help with a 5th grader with homework I do all the grocery shopping and cooking and I live here like this all based on a pack of lies I guess I am mentally ill somehow but I don't know if I can ever get better without telling someone the truth it makes me feel sweaty and sick in my stomach to even think about telling anyone this story I used to have a good job in a successful business and a fiance I wanted to spend the rest of my life with until I found out alcohol was more important to her than anything else she broke up with me rather than break up with booze and I was completely devastated I used to spend 30 minutes or more each day at work hiding in the walk-in refrigerator and crying I talked to everyone about the situation the consensus was that I should just forget her and go bang some hot B to get over it but I just couldn't after a few weeks I walked out of work in the middle of the day and went home to take a shower I started taking showers like 6 times a day and started planning how to kill myself when I met someone who was sympathetic it was just easier to play the part of a helpless victim who had been done wrong in so many ways that I needed to be rescued and taken care of rather than take responsibility for making my own situation better I am having a panic attack about typing and posting this when I was 17 I was gang debauched after a party the cops didn't believe me my parents didn't believe me and everyone who I've told since has stopped talking to me it was not pretty I was cut up at a party beaten and thrown in my car they drove doughnuts in the grass field next to a church on a Saturday night Sunday morning pricked up my car and left me battered and bruised in the backseat I woke up initially when I was being violated only think gang as I do remember multiple voices at this point but then tried to keep myself awake long enough between blackouts by blasting music so the cops found me at the wheel of my car with people lining up for church with freaking metal blasting on repeat I planned murders in retribution but decided it was better to just leave the only proof I had was that I shat blood for a week but I felt so bad I couldn't even show anyone crapping when you have a rectal tear is a terrible thing the thing that hurt the most was that no one believed me I did make stories and lies but none to this extent I was about 23 and was working kind of late my friend wanted to go out and was bugging me about it he's gay I'm not but eventually he talked me into it so we go to a little dive bar and are hanging out just chatting a couple of friends were supposed to come to but they never showed up I was nursing my first gin and tonic when I went to the bathroom I came back and finished my drink and that's when things started getting fuzzy I knew something was wrong so I ordered water for my second drink but it didn't work my world was spinning and I had basically lost control of my motor functions my memory is pretty rough too I remember my head on the bar and he was rubbing my crotch I remember him helping me to his car dragging me up his stairs passing out on his floor him plowing me I was back in his car at one point and then I woke up in my bed I felt like crap and was totally surprised that my car was in the driveway I have no idea how I got home at one point in the night I left an incoherent voicemail on my best buds phone so I was debauched and I was so embarrassed he totally got away with it I've never told anyone not even my wife she knows something happened just not the extent he is not your friend when I was six back when snez was all the rage I remember watching my older brother playing his game he loved it so much so that when I went to play it he would only let me play it if I sat on his lap so I did because I was so desperate for my brother to love me he always bullied me especially when he would hit me and I was so happy that he was hugging me and treating me like a sister one day we brought the system up into my room he told me I could only play if I was naked I said okay he then took off his pants and laid me on the bed I remember saying to him that how I wanted to play the game he said okay but only if he could poke me so I tried to play the game but he kept bumping into me and shaking me he got angry and yanked the controller from my hand and told me to close my eyes and that I could play a game later so I did he just kept going and then he stopped this happened as a weekly thing sometimes he would let me play others he would force me to just lay there he stopped freaking me when I was seven and a half and he left to go live with my dad I never realized what had happened until my mom had the talk with me when I was 10 I didn't tell her because everyone loves my brother and I wanted him to love me to this day no one knows about this in my family except for me we talked about it once when I was 18 and graduating he apologized and all what I could ask him was if he loved me ever he didn't say a word I asked him why he did it he asked me if I ever told anyone I said no and I repeated my question he said he couldn't tell me why and then left he killed himself a week later I still feel as though if I never asked him if I never brought it up if he would still be alive the fricked up thing is that I would do anything even letting him have his way with me if it meant he was alive now the most flicked up part letters flash-forward till a few months ago just about to hit 10 years after his suicide my dad found a letter my brother had written in an envelope tucked away in my dad's attic with all of my brother's belongings my dad didn't open it just handed it to me as it was addressed to me I did it because I love you so since posting this the first time in a few months I was able to I guess breath easier I told my husband actually I showed him this he knew mine right away sidenote never use your husband's nickname for you as a screen name Doug and shipped my son to his mother's for the weekend so he can take me to tell my family so this right is directed at him since he doesn't seem to get it I don't want to I don't want to destroy my family I already caused my brother to kill himself and I will not give my mother a heart attack Frick you right now Eric for not understanding me whoa that's pretty intense thanks for sharing my husband beats me every day he also forces himself on me often I think about suicide daily I feel as though my life would be ruined if people knew not ruined in a way that a lot of these other stories would ruin someone but it would ruin me enough you need to talk to someone not just read it if 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Rating: 4.8956161 out of 5

Keywords: secret, secrets, secrets that could ruin peoples lives if they came out, secrets that would ruin your life, biggest secret, #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, \r, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, sub, reddit cringe, memes, comment awards, dankify, toadfilms, updoot everything, updoot reddit, chill, story, stories, reddit on tap

Id: w6TgXjwF-ik

Length: 38min 45sec (2325 seconds)

Published: Thu Jun 04 2020