What Total Dong Move Did You Experience?

what total dong move did you experience when i was in grade school my family was one of the poorer families in a private catholic school i didn't know it at the time but i was only there because of loans from my wealthier uncles so it was a rarity that i ever had money whereas most of my classmates had at least some kind of allowance i don't remember how but one day i had a few dollars one of the most popular guys in my grade did not have money for lunch and i packed every day anyways so i'll lend him the money needed thinking we might even become friends as a result several days later he still hadn't paid me back so i asked him nicely about it his response was to loudly say and say i don't feel like dealing with this reach into his pocket and pull out the amount he owed me in quarters and dimes then instead of handing the coins to me he threw them across the room onto the floor making me go search for them on my hands and knees beneath chairs it has been over 20 years since that happened and i feel petty and small whenever i think about it but i still can't help but think about it occasionally and whenever i do i still get the urge call that guy up and say frick you just remember you were the one prepared you were the one with the money you were the one that got paid back he likely can't even remember it but in the end you wear the one with compassion and empathy you can't buy that i used to work at kfc on my first day they had me on register and this lady walks up toward her i was moving rather slowly so i told her it was my first day and apologized for taking so long she seemed super nice and understanding so i thought i was in the clear as i handed her a seat she says where's my free drink you told me i got a free drink i definitely never said this and was confused with crap as to what to do because it was obvious she was trying to take advantage of it being my first day she then waves my manager over tells her i promised her a free drink and that she expects a free drink now my manager threw me a dirty butt look as she hands this lady a cup luckily a co-worker was standing nearby and confirmed that i never told her anything about a free drink so my manager let it go guaranteed that lady does this everywhere she goes my college roommates planned an entire night out together at our favorite bar and didn't tell me until they were about to leave when they asked me for a ride there that's when you tell them you have a date and can't hang out with them i used to be an architect and was on a team that won an award for a building the team was supposed to fly to another city go to the reception stay overnight and fly back the next morning and come to work in the afternoon all on the company dime first time i had been able to do something like that the project i had moved on to when this was going on was a dumpster fire because the manager didn't have the spine to stand up to the constant changes of the client he told the whole team that we needed to work all weekend on the latest changes to still meet our original deadline on monday changes to 12 multi-story buildings and said i couldn't afford to miss any time so i had to tell the other team i couldn't go on the awards trip after the team left for the airport i found out from a third party that the client had given us an extra four days on the deadline because of the last minute changes and the manager kept it from the team on purpose so we'd work for free on the weekend i'm not sure but i think that's illegal my girlfriend asked me to buy some wine bottles as a gift for her and leave them at her place while she was at work i did as she asked a few hours later she texts me saying thanks but she had been doing some thinking and felt it was time we saw other people at least she said thanks she drank that wine with other people my dad had a baby with his then 18 year old girlfriend when i was 15. he gave me a debit card to his bank account and she had one too he was a truck driver at that time so he instructed me to withdraw forty dollars from his account every tuesday when he got paid my mom was broke he wasn't paying child support so this money was my lunch money and money for necessary items like tampons dad's girlfriend got the whole rest of his check for her and the baby for a while the girlfriend was buying the baby some new swing or bouncer that he didn't need every week one week she wanted to buy this huge saucer thing with all of these toys attached to it it was really expensive and she fell about forty dollars short of being able to afford it so she got up really early in the morning like five am before she knew i'd be awake to go to the atm and she withdrew all of the money so she could buy the baby the swing and i wouldn't get any money to eat with had a project a former manager wanted me to work on right after i started it another guy said he wanted to help with the documentation no problem when the project was finished he turned the whole thing into management and took my name off it ended up getting promoted for the great job he did when actually he didn't do crap i had been seeing this boy for quite a few months casual and friendly things were slowly progressing and it was going good also i thought anyway i was having some people over for my birthday and the day beforehand he kept going on about how he was excited to come dave i hear nothing from him a few hours after everyone else had arrived i check snapchat and see he's drinking at another party drunk me sends a message a few hours later saying that what he did wasn't cool and a simple message saying he wasn't coming would have been fine he doesn't open it for over two weeks when he finally does open it he doesn't reply and blocks me on all forms of social media okay glad you dodged that bullet it's his loss posted this in another oscar did yesterday met a couple in an airport bar leaving vegas guys bragging about dollar sign he won house and income he has back home i'm 23 working as a bar back and living at parents he suggests we play blackjack to pass time insists we play for dollar sign five dollars per hand in his terms low stakes so overhead announcement comes for him to board and i'm up 25 bucks he refuses to settle up and said it was just for fun wow intense flashbacks to childhood where whenever you beat a sore loser at a game they'd declare it was just a practice round my mom sold me a car when i was 16. when i was 18 she told me i'd need to get off her insurance then she told me i didn't technically own the car because she was still paying on it and so i couldn't have the title so i couldn't insure it i ended up giving it away for a demo derby my dad's funeral was on valentine's day and the guy i was dating at the time said he didn't want to send me flowers that day obviously i was getting flower deliveries for the funeral and said he promised to make my birthday three months down the road extra special on my birthday he asked me to pick him up at the airport two hours away and dumped me as soon as i pulled in his driveway i let a friend use my house for a birthday party understanding was that i was just providing the space she'd provide the booze liquor food and do all the cleanup afterward she got freaking trashed passed out and at some point took an uber home leaving me with all the mess her guests made a mess of the house and backyard smoked cigars in the basement without asking if it was okay and raided our liquor cabinet including drinking a few bottles i'd been saving for a special occasion got invited to a trip with friends because they didn't want to pay the single supplement fee for the room they essentially fricked off for the entire week once we got there and didn't include me in anything i don't talk to these people anymore on the plus side i did end up meeting some nice people on the trip and went deep sea fishing twice with them and checked something off my bucket list which was catch a marlin my now ex in-laws promised to pay for and pick up our modest wedding rehearsal dinner catering and then an hour before they were supposed to do it pretended they both forgot their wallets and loaned their car to someone the rehearsal was in a place four hours from their home and they were staying in a hotel for three days so obviously they had to have brought some form of payment also they went out to eat and went shopping in their downtime so again this is clearly a really freaking stupid lie they didn't really have friends in the area so i'm not sure who they pretended to loan their car to or why and it was so ridiculous i didn't even waste my time pretending to ask this was super typical behavior of them though so we'd actually arrange our plan b for this before we asked the in-laws if they could do it it's just such a freaking dumb lie these people were in their 50s was biking home from work late one afternoon heard a strange whooshing noise and an empty 40 ounces beer bottle whips past my head narrowly missing me as a car full of laughing bros speeds by jesus christ they could have really freaked you up pieces of crap my boss asks me and co-workers how to do a job then goes to the company owners and passes the ideas on as his own now we have a laugh as misinformation has made him look like a fool lady was driving towards an intersection with both hands on her phone and looking at her phone without looking up at all almost hit me but i jumped back looked at her with her car half into the intersection at a red light she looks up a few seconds later with a dead fish eye i don't give a f face looks at me looking at her so i go to walk past her car and she inches her car forward at me while i'm crossing her car looking straight at me i've never wanted to vandalize someone's vehicle so bad i almost got run over by psychopath in a tesla weekly when i worked in palo alto there was a crosswalk i had to use to get to my car and people always and frick you levels of expensive cars would just straight up not stop for me when crossing some people even sped up i will admit i threw a full milkshake at one once that was the most satisfying smack sound an actual dong move i experienced was way back in a school when the kid next to me nudged me pointed under the desk and revealed that he could lift a small stack of pennies with his semi hard good work steph when you're in puberty it's natural for your private parts to experience some change one time in elementary school a kid was throwing out his plate lunch without having eaten his brownie i asked if i could have it since he was throwing it out he said no i don't like you and threw it out 25 years later and i still remember that crap i'm sorry but you got me dying laughing just imaging it the balls on that kid my brother's new high school baseball coach that came in his senior year wanted to build up his freshman roster make a name for himself and pretty much benched 90 of the seniors none of them got to play in front of the collage scouts that season in the final game of the year my brother got to get on the field outfield not his position one time now my brother loved baseball he was a pitcher and would get there early just to rake the dirt and make the place look perfect pick up trash that had blown in etc so as a parting gift the coach gave him a thanks for being a good groundskeeper plaque very rarely have i seen a person cry from hatred but this was one of those times and he threw that trophy in the baseball dumpster as we walked out brother wrote off baseball from that day forward same thing happened to me my entire life revolved around baseball and all it took was one horseshit coach for a season to ruin it one of my roommates in college took too many hallucinogens locked himself in the room and wrote drew all over the walls with sharpies i was never able to confront him about it because he and his girl both moved out while i was on summer break with no notice his name was not on the lease and i was never able to contact him again completely fricked my living situation and started me down a wonderful path of weird and expensive living situations for future reference sharpie can usually be cleaned off of walls with rubbing alcohol my mother's a teacher was talking with me about one of the other teachers in her school is covering the civil war i offered to let her borrow my dvd set of the ken burns documentary cost like 50.75 at the time to aid her class my mom vouched for her didn't get it back for about a month cover had tears corners missing and discs were scratched ken burns has a new one coming out on the 15th of september called country music i'm not a fan of country music but i'm a fan of ken burns so i'll be watching it i am on vacation my hat gets blown off my head and landed a few feet to my right directly under a police yellow tape from a crime scene i was walking by i reached down to pick it up and an officer who had to have seen the whole thing grabbed my arm twisted it behind my back and threatened me with a rest never saw my hat again my friend and i were eating at a diner when we were in college and two ladies sat with us i really hit it off with one and he wasn't really connecting later on my friend sent the friend a really mean text and called her a b because she didn't hook up with him the woman i was interested texted me something to the effects of you seem nice but your friend was really mean and i'm not going to choose you over my best friend he felt no remorse for that rented a house from my brother offered to pay cash for the ac window units because he had some new ones he had just gotten he agreed told him i'd have the money in a few days he was totally cool with this transaction he came over the day i got the cash and took the units leaving me and my kids with no cool air in south louisiana in august he went off on me telling about how i just want all his stuff that he's worked so hard for still had the cash to buy the crap from him right then and there cash i earned myself to buy stuff for myself he never even used the units sold them to someone on facebook for a little more money than he offered to let me buy them for i rented from my brother once as well he took all the furniture at one point and sold it leaving me with a mattress on the floor years ago a buddy of mine came down to visit me and roommate at school at the end of finals week my roommate was finished with his and i had one left to go on the last day that i wasn't worried about easy elective so the plan was him and my roommate would hang out i'd take my final and then we'd go out well when i get home my roommate gives me a look and i find my ex whom i broke up with over the summer sitting in my bed fully clothed i specifically did not let her know where i lived because i don't want to deal with her she was still infatuated with me he invited her over with the dumb idea he may hook up with her but really she wanted to be there for me so his plan was obviously a bust i told her to go home and he apologized and were still great friends today but still a dong move i was interested in this beautiful girl amd she was into me i worked at a bar and my fellow bartender had a small get-together after work the girl and two other of her friends came over to his house we were all having a good time and then all of a sudden i collapsed on his floor like i had been drugged the fellow bartender got to talking to the girl they've been together ever since i still believe he drugged me to get with her that's psycho my best friend fishing buddy fricked my girlfriend the day after our anniversary and then lied straight to my face even though i walked in on them triple dick that day best friend girlfriend day after anniversary a full quad if you consider being lied to or attempted gaslighting whichever in high school i had two friends sleep over while my mom was out of town we took advantage of this and ended up getting decently drunk my friend slept in the living room one on the couch the other on the floor and overall it was a great night the next morning i woke up pretty early and found the friend who slept on the couch now sleeping in my mom's bed i was confused but shrugged it off as maybe they were just uncomfortable on the couch an hour or so later my friends wake up and leave i began to put the living room back together since my mom was supposed to be home soon when adjusting the couch cushions i found something i'll never forget vomit tons of it i'm talking soaked deep into the fabric and pooling in every crevasse the friend who slept on the couch also ate a fair amount of flaming hot cheetos so everything was stained bright cheeto red i then realized that this friend had consciously moved to my mom's bed once they puked on the couch so that they didn't have to sleep in it i understood that things like this happen but what i couldn't fathom was how someone could vomit all over our couch willingly move themselves to my mom's bed and leave without addressing it at all needless to say i had to clean up the entire thing myself before my mom got home definitely put my friendship with them into perspective an ex-co-worker assumed i was covering for her when i didn't respond to her text she didn't bother checking with me or asking the other employees at the time had a thing for a girl for a while kept telling my best friend and roommate of five years about it trying to make moves here and there and make my interest in her apparent she bounced around between well maybe we could be something and i'm not ready for anything for about three months best friend kept suggesting i just drop it but i had the feels we were part of the same friend group and one day all six of us decided to go hang out at her house everyone else ended up cancelling except myself best friend and her we're chilling at her house drinking and i decide to really open up something i never really do i told her i liked her a lot and wanted her to give me a real chance she silently walked into the kitchen and slammed back three shots not the best feeling i went and sat on the couch and waited for her to come and so we could watch a movie for the rest of the night she walks past me and lays down right next to best friend within two minutes they've got a blanket over them both and the part of the blanket right over his crotch is moving up and down she's jacking him off not even two feet from me i got up and went to the back room to call my sister and just try and work through all the feelings i was having about 10 minutes later after they loudly had sex on the couch she comes back to ask what's wrong i didn't say much and just crashed morning after i just wanted to get fo that house told best friend we were gonna head home and talk about stuff since i was pretty p at him too as he knew i had a thing for her for months before this he says actually she and i are gonna hang out for the day i do hope you told him something along the lines of in that case you and i are never speaking again because that's hella rude and also pretty trashy fifth grade i was running for class president against a girl in my class the teacher had her and i close our eyes so we wouldn't see who votes for whom teacher asks who votes for girl okay now who votes for op and there came an audible woe from some kid i got this in the bag right now teacher goes ahead and says we're voting again but this time you can't vote for the same person you just voted for i'll let you guess which one of us won and which one took a kick in the confidences i'm driving on the freeway in the left lane behind a car and leaving just enough room between us a pickup truck is behind me tailgating hard and can clearly see the car in front of me he swerves in the lane over and then eats back into my lane cutting me off and almost causing an accident just to get one car ahead frick that guy agreed frick that guy my best friend called and asked we'd like to go swimming in their pool he had never done that before so i said sure to which he replied cool we're in kentucky would you feed my dog while you're there i didn't want the dog to suffer so i went and fed him and frick the pool hey man i'm really sorry but your dog ran out the door when i opened it i think it was looking for you birthday dickbag legacy my friend was talking excitedly about her upcoming birthday what she'd do how many people would be there the type of cake etc i was getting hyped up over it and asked if it would be at her place or somewhere else she quickly responded oh you're not invited thanks another birthday dong moved to electric boogaloo my mom got me a 15 colston ice cream gift card for my 16th birthday i reminded her that i was extremely lactose intolerant she angrily told me that i should be thankful and suggested that i go out with some friends and use it to buy them ice cream and just watch them eat it a birthday dong move 3 i made my friend a drawing of sonic tails and knuckles since she was super into the franchise i spent hours over it when i gave it to her she scoffed and complained that it didn't have her favorite character amy and angrily tossed it aside i almost cried and finally this was a total dong move to my brother it was his 16th and we were having dinner my mom was extremely happy about something so he asked if she and my dad had a present for him she said yes in the garage you got me a car she said to go and see he ran from the table in a frenzy i was stunned that my parents would give him a car well some things are too good to be true they didn't get him a car they got him car cleaning supplies for a car he didn't have i just excused myself from dinner and went up to my room to cry because i felt that bad for him man your parents are messed up and here i thought i had it bad at my last job i was interested in promoting but my manager at the time told me it would only be like a one dollar to two dollars pay bump for a lot more daily work i didn't see it as much of an incentive and held off on it another one of my co-workers applied and a few months later told me she had gotten bumped up almost seven dollars but not to tell anyone still irks me till this day but i make more than all of them now i was being made redundant a friend of mine who has his own company offered me a job and he found out he said he would train me in the industry and it would start in about a month i was so grateful a couple of weeks later i saw him on christmas eve and he asked me if i was looking forward to starting work and then nothing i never heard from him again line manager selling my work to the manager executives like he did all of it and making it a point to convey that i didn't do crap and a crap and he had to sacrifice his time to get my work done which caused his other tasks to suffer and hence i was responsible for his slack i left that place and that guy and didn't look back that's why the saying goes you don't leave jobs you leave bosses we have a large fountain outside of our office there were a small group of about four guys with their phones out in front of it we figured they were playing pokemon go because it's a gym suddenly one of the guys yells out world star and pushes one of the guys into the fountain and runs off guy was more than a little p my best friend of almost 20 years didn't have the balls to tell me he didn't want to be friends with me anymore he just stopped responding to me and after contacting his mother when i thought something happened to him she had to tell me he just didn't have the guts to tell me himself she even took his side about it drove miles to see our child mother left note on door baby is sick come back another day she couldn't bother nicole in elementary school a girl gave me her bag of apples because she didn't want them i ate about eight of them and threw the bag out with one or two in there and she got mad and told a teacher saying i stole her apples and threw them away i got benched elementary school version of detention during recess for a week after being a stiller graduate student 3.98 gpa and only male in a decade at a competitive forensic anthropology masters program of 20 students i went into the school lab to ask for advice from my advisor on possible publications i could write as the old saying goes it is publish or perish the header of the program in front of five of her new lady students stated loudly and clearly you'll never get into a phd program you know some people work at mcdonald's or trader joe's for the rest of their lives and there's nothing wrong with that i thought i had earned the respect of the program as i volunteered for everything helped the program out at a teacher's assistant and a graduate assistant never causing problems completing my courses with always and loving what i was learning instead i was crap on in a public forum for your information i rebooted and started anew with a different approach i now have four academic publications experiences that would make indiana jones jealous and invitations to present research at academic conferences for six consecutive years how she like them apples if you are new to the channel you can subscribe i publish new videos every day until then check another video [Music] bye for now

Channel: UE Stories

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Keywords: total dong move, not cool, jerk move, idiot move, unexpected, idiot, idiotic, stupid move, #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, \r, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny reddit stories, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, reddit stories 2019, people of reddit, sub, reddit cringe, memes, toadfilms, updoot everything, updoot reddit, story, stories, rslash, comedy, fresh

Id: TzgFj2jSUI0

Length: 26min 22sec (1582 seconds)

Published: Tue Jul 07 2020