What Is The Most Fricked Up Thing That Happened At The Office? (r/AskReddit)

what is the most freaked up thing that ever happened at your office a guy didn't go home one night the next morning his wife was freaking out and people started reviewing the security footage he hadn't let the building at all the police got involved and his picture ended up all over the news still nothing finally that night they found his body right next to the building in some thick bushes he'd either jumped or fallen from the roof no one will ever know what happened that's when unicorn knew he'd gotten away with it victim of a gang shooting ran through our warehouse blood pouring out of the three or four bullet holes in his abdomen another time a guy got beaten to death by a 2x4 in our parking lot we had a woman who drove into our parking lot every morning before anyone got to work walked her dog around and stole a plant we have security cameras but decided getting her arrested was an overreaction so we just made a sign saying we know license plate number xxx is stealing plants and this area is under video surveillance she freaked out and stole of the sign and we all sat around and watched the video of her stealing something on video to avoid getting caught stealing something on video a superb example of logic thinking two guys in my office didn't like each other and ended up in an argument one day it escalated to the point where one challenged the other to take it outside and the two of them fought each other in the front of the building facing a busy street so they were too out of shape middle-aged dudes attempting to punch and kick the crap out of each other but failing miserably i wasn't there to witness it but i was told it was hilarious they were both fired shortly after that accountant and secretary both female caught freaking after hours with the warehouse boy white trash loser redneck in the bragged about joining the kkk type accountant was the wife of one of the owners nice we've got a huge three-hole punch designed to pierce a stack of magazines the punches have to be cleaned out every few stacks a co-worker got his hand caught inside of it he went up to my desk and said hey could you come with me to the bathroom real quick up no i just need you to tie a bandage oh yeah sure we went into the bathroom and i got the bandage ready he looked at all the blood gushing into the sink and said hold on a sec i'm going to pee into the cut to make it better and i jumped in with an explanation of why that makes no sense at all but he excused himself to a stall anyway he came back i tied the bandage and left he's got a perfect circle on his hand now i interviewed a woman for a job and she did amazingly in her first interview funny friendly and knowledgeable we called her back for a second interview with another manager and she did okay but nowhere near as good as she had on her first interview with me he said that she was spacey during his talk with her 15 minutes or so after she left the other manager and i were walking out to go to lunch and discussing her just as i was saying i didn't see her being spacey at all she was i had to stop because there she was sitting in front of our offices smoking out in her car the dank think looked like she had a fog machine going in there we made eye contact she got this panicked look on her face rolled down the window and yelled over to us don't worry it's okay i have a medical marriage or ella card for those that asked yes we did actually hire her beforehand i had a chat with her about smoking appropriately telling her if she needed a special medical dispensation i could put her in touch with her our corporate hr team to work out the logistics but also told her that until that was settled to not smoke at work she came on and she's done awesomely one of the best is support people we have hahahaha and i always thought i was really bad at interviewing was sitting in my cube one day and heard one woman suddenly start screaming while looking out the window everyone gets up walks over to her and watches in unison as her car gets ripped the guy was quick she didn't even have time to run outside her walk of shame back to her cube was so awkward not to mention the walk home a few weeks back somebody thought they saw a guns on some guy that had hopped over a fence the swat team is called in the campus goes on lockdown i learned which if my co-workers i could trust in the event of a real emergency etc we were evacuated building by building so that they could search for this dude the newest theory is that it was actually some guy who dropped his phone while hopping from one parking lot to another and somebody just went a little imaginative in their paranoia my school got locked down because a bus driver said he saw a student with a gun it was an umbrella the iphone had just come out everyone was flashing their electric shaver app this one guy thought it would be funny to run around the office doing the jackass shaver prank with his iphone one of his victims thought it was a real shaver when the iphone hit the back of his head he turned around and punched the other guy in the stomach bruce lee style both of them got fired on the spot one of the big execs hired the fix-it guide to work off the clock at his home for beer the guy didn't do the job to the boss's satisfaction so he fired him from his actual job he had security throw him out i imagined it was like watching mussolini or the donald at work pretty sure that isn't legal on multiple levels our very gay santa claus looking hr manager was in the showroom demonstrating for everyone how to properly deep throated dong using a banana he also went into great detail about how to slap the balls at the point of orgasm there were customers present i used to work for a men's cutlery and brick-a-brack store in 1989 we had an incident happen at our baltimore harbor location involving a cheap samurai sword we used to sell the company vp who witnessed this unfold always told this story with thankfully he paid in cash it was the christmas rush and a gentleman came in and purchased the sword as he was being rung up he was looking over the sword at the edge in the tip like a fine craftsman the cashier asked would you like me to store that behind the counter while you complete your shopping for the day but no thanks he said i'll just use it right here and then he proceeded to run himself through with the sword down to the hilt and the blade came out his back the cashier screamed and the customers fled the store someone called 9-1-1 the man dropped to his knees and just stayed in that position looking sheepish likely expected to be dead but was still quite conscious when the paramedics and police came eventually they cast the hilton blade tip off wrapped him up and took him to the hospital later the man wrote a letter of apology stating his girlfriend has left him at christmas and he acted inappropriately lucky for him he missed every vital organ with his aborted sepulcher that's why you drag it across done or a second dude i worked with ate a spider once it was rappelling down from the light fitting and was at about head height i pointed it out to him and he walked up as if to take a closer look and ate it an employee was mad about something started slamming doors and then yelled that she was about to smear some vaseline on her face and take down that bee i work in higher education they actually do that a lot in boxing ufc some guy showed up at my office asked for me by name and when i came out to meet him he started swinging at me luckily he was older and smaller than me so i was able to wrestle him to the ground and hold him until the cops arrived it seems that in my previous job one of the admin folks was sleeping with one of my colleagues her husband found out she was hooking up with someone from the office confronted her demanding to know who and she told him it was me since i was no longer working there of course i was only about 10 blocks away and easy to find i have a similar story to tell a colleague who my mom used to work with used to be quite sociable and i'm guessing she must have been friendly with her male co-workers no cheating or anything like that one day her husband shows up at the workplace pulls out a 5-inch concealed kitchen knife and basically shanks the man that he thought was having an affair with his wife there was this guy who was different he wore clothes too big for him never had a belt was a bit hairy wore glasses had old beat up shoes was a bit smelly and talked real weird imagine having a conversation with someone and having to stifle your laughter because the other person talks funny real funny and strange he was also a very very great human being wonderful person i made fast friends with him while everyone else in the building ridiculed him one day i get a message from my boss saying he needs you he's bleeding and no one knows why please go talk to him she knew i was his only friend i was on a call and couldn't do anything at that moment but when i got off my other boss came and said he came out of the bathroom with a beehive of paper towels bloody over his hand and said if i take it out i am gonna bleed all over and ran back into the bathroom but they handled it and they wanted me to figure out how he injured himself after a meeting i noticed he had a band-aid on i asked him what happened do you want the truth or do you want me to lie just tell me but i stapled my thumb oh how do you manage that trying real hard not to laugh well i was stapling my pants i freaking lost it i've had to staple my pants before crotch ripped out while doing a photo shoot you'll think that with all the beauty queens there at least one of them would have had a safety pin well it all started at the company christmas party a few years ago at the time the secretary was a friend of the boss's now ex-wife both of the gals were attractive with decent bodies in any case things started to get a little wild at the office with all of the booze and festivities and a bunch of us eventually found ourselves at the local strip club along with the boss his wife and the secretary didn't take too long for the wife and secretary to make it to a stage and dance around with one of the strippers and ultimately both had their tops off and were fully exposed for all the employees to see by the look on my boss's face i knew right then that his marriage was in trouble and the secretary's days were numbered the divorce and personnel change didn't take very long after that fun night i was working as an admin for a forensic psychiatry clinic we were located on one of the top floors of an office tower filled with regular business people and clients were always causing issues and harassing the other tenants a few months ago one of our patients thought that his social worker had called the cops to come get him as he had an open warrant she hadn't because she knew he'd go ballistic but was planning on alerting the pd once he was on his way out of the building he barricaded himself in the bathroom climbed up into the drop ceiling as far as he could and started ripping wires out yelling that he was going to electrocute himself so he wouldn't go back to prison we had to evacuate the waiting room which caused a fight between two other and stable patients the police ended up doing an extraction while dressed in riot gear they got him out just as he was starting to bend the pipes for the fire sprinklers he caused about five dollars k worth of damage and now the local health authority is paying for a standalone psych clinic to be built because surprise surprise the clinic got kicked out of the office tower this happens all the time so it's not common to me but it is as messed up as anything in my mind two jobs ago i had a boss that would always take credit for my work i passed along my work to him for review he'd pass it along to his superiors and he'd tell me that they liked what i had done good job he eventually gets promoted but me nada he tells me to put in more time a couple months later when he's out of the office his superior comes to me and says hey so and so typically creates this report for us and he told me that no one else here could do it but i was hoping you might take a look at this sheet and see if you can replicate it for this week's numbers i look at what he handed me and said oh yeah i built that i can have this for you in no time he looked at me strangely well turns out not only was he stealing my work but he was bad-mouthing me my boss boss was genuinely surprised that i could have come up with those reports because apparently i was just someone who was best suited for data entry eventually he realized that pretty much all the analysis he received was straight from me and not from my boss i ended up getting promoted reporting directly to the director and my boss well i don't know what happened to him behind closed doors but he kept his job but half his reports went to me and by half i mean two people but hey it was a start i'm not an office worker but i read somewhere else that it's a good idea to find a way to sign your reports documents in a way that's not obvious unless pointed out it's a good way to keep other co-workers and bosses from stealing your work they would have to basically rewrite it to destroy the signature my buddy discovered that the guy who cleaned up overnight at his barbecue joint was freaking the briskets that's some freaked up special source cops showed up and arrested a secretary for her involvement in a bank robbery they were planning on killing the person that was cooperating with police one time a guy with obvious mental issues took a roll of tp from the bathroom and wrapped himself up like a mummy and started moaning and doing a mummy walk around the office good times i work in the welfare office coma one time a guy with obvious mental issues took a roll of tp from the bathroom and wrapped himself up like a mummy and started moaning and doing a mummy walk around the office good times you just gave me an idea of what i can do when i don't have reading material while taking a dump infant abduction of the hospital i volunteer at i was a manager in a pee store that had apartments above us in our complex i heard an argument upstairs and a gunshot came through the ceiling i never found out where the bullet wound up the police recovered it i called the police in 911 told me the police were already called and they arrived before i even put down the phone an officer in full swat gear came in and told me there was an armed hostage situation upstairs and said we had to evacuate crap you don't have to tell me twice i was gone but here's the fricked up part i had three customers in that store who all stood their ground and refused to leave until they got their pornography did you just see the bullet that came through the ceiling frick you freak the bullet frick the cops orders we aren't going anywhere without our pee one of them had not even made up his mind yet he said i'm going to need another 10 or 15 minutes and then i'll be ready to leave i just turned to the cop and told feel free to arrest these guys i'm leaving and locking the store down the manager said he got calls from those customers complaining i wouldn't let them rent their pee before leaving the store not that he took their complaints seriously not with bullet holes in his ceiling anyhow it turns out there was an apartment upstairs being used as a whorehouse a madam who was working independently was being shaken down by some gangsters who just decided she was going to work for them and hand over her profits that was messed up and i never knew it was there because if i ever heard anyone screwing i would just assume someone left one of the tvs on i'll tell you what bothered me for months afterwards was i kept checking the shelves that were underneath that bullet hole wondering what the heck did that bullet hit i know i heard bits of something bouncing around the store all i ever found were pieces of plaster from the ceiling put a whorehouse above a pee shop genius one employee was directed to use an indoor-only man lift outside to clean windows went over uneven surface and was slammed into the ground hard enough i saw his eyes pop out of his head while the paramedics worked on him to two employee went on vacation in her homeland of nigeria and she never came back about a week after she was supposed to return we received a letter of resignation that was clearly not written by her i.e use broken stilted english although she was fluent had little off cues such as referring to a position that she did not actually hold as her job etc police were involved her bank accounts were cleared out and there was no trace of her speculation is that she was kidnapped and forced into slavery flesh trade because that's a thing there not anything local authorities could do she just disappeared some guy flashed his dong and made obscene advances toward some 19 year old receptionist at my last job before that happened he used to take me and the other interns we were 17 at the time hour to lunch every now and then i work in an office with a lot of cubicles very open one day we hear horrible screaming coming from the other side of the building the screaming and crying went on for a minute or so when someone comes around the corner and tells us one of the ladies mothers had died her brother called her on the phone to let her know people had to carry this women screaming and crying into the break room so her husband could come get her hearing her pain really messed everyone up that day yeah that's pretty freaked there's something about seeing someone break down from grief that really stays with you when i was a receptionist i once got written up for buzzing our vp to let her know about an urgent call she was expecting i made her lose her train of thought while working at dell guy was chased down by security for wearing an obama mask on the day obama won he was fired immediately i don't understand why he was chased down and fired please explain op so here is the deal i work for a church with a food pantry job assistance and many other things to get people back on their feet or at least taken care of we help a lot of folks in the tens of thousands most of which are cool but some of our homeless folks are colorful so one day the secretary runs into my office and says you need to come see this we walk out and there is a guy in nothing but a pair of superman underwear i had never met this guy before so i think i freaked him out as i started walking towards him he sprints without looking across an intersection of a six-lane road and a four-lane road in the middle of the day he frogged dozens of cars ran into a walgreens and immediately got thrown out and ran the other direction that was weird i thought about half an hour later i go out for coffee and a volunteer comes up to me with a pair of gym shorts these are for superman we didn't know his name at this point the guy was hanging out in front of the church and nothing but his superman tighty wetties hello my name is supershit hey man i'm some name i forgot how are you doing i'm great it's a beautiful day good stuff hey we have a little rule while you're at the church or in the church you have to wear pants you don't have to wear shoes or a shirt or anything else just pants this is somewhere in south florida and we let folks clean up and hang out in the ac if they want to i don't want to wear pants is that a written rule not really written it's just a thing we all kinda do here you know the second i leave these shorts are coming off yeah man that's fine you can even throw them away when you're done but while you're here you have to wear pants okay he puts them on and hangs out for a while the odd thing was he seemed totally normal besides not wanting to wear pants on the way home i saw the shorts discarded on the side of the road tl doctor man in superman tighty what is froggers and major intersections got into it with me about how much he hates pants of course he was normal no one wants to wear pants that guy just had the balls to say it when i was teaching 10th grade english i had a girl who lost the novel we had been reading which is fine but keep in mind this was a cheap paperback costing maybe six bucks but i'm accountable so i gave her an ultimatum of return the book or pay the six bucks didn't seem like a particularly big deal next day the enraged mother of a girl the girl's boyfriend and her brother both guys already graduated and shouldn't even have been allowed in the building come screaming into class bear in mind while i'm in the middle of teaching and try to attack me for this eventually i simply told them they had 10 seconds to leave or they were all going to prison which seriously surprised them and i honestly think these buttholes didn't realize that was a potential consequence of what they were doing and they all ran out never saw that one coming never did call the cops because the family is related to the local sheriff it was a really small town not an office it's at the walgreens i used to work at we once found a pair of panties behind the cosmetics counter this was a 24-hour walgreens and the cosmetics girl swore they hadn't been there when her shift had started another time we had a man come staggering and who was high as a bird over amsterdam the first thing he did was approach my counter slayer out i'm not a robber and show me a handful of crumpled bills out of his pocket i told him i was glad to hear that and then i got to hear it several more times before he suddenly asked if he could use my phone i sent him over to use the phone and photo as is our policy and a few minutes later the photo specialist called over to my station with the information that the guy had been out with his friends and after they'd all gotten high they kicked him out of the car and drove off without him and he was just lucid enough to be looking for someone to come pick him up he came staggering back over to my counter and asked if he could stay here a while i told him that was fine and he had a seat on the carpet and started making little piles out of his spare change my manager eventually came by and threw him out a woman came in one night who was walking very stiffly with one arm held across her chest she asked me if we had any sort of power chair because she wasn't supposed to be walking and i said no but we did have a wheelchair and i could push her in it if she needed i called someone over to cover my station and wheeled a woman back to the pharmacy and through her conversation with the pharmacist i learned that she'd just been released from the hospital after a dangerous open heart surgery and had been given only a 1 in 10 chance of survival she was by no means an older woman i would have guessed she was somewhere in her late 20s was very attractive and wearing a shirt that said built for tough she didn't know what to do to take care of herself after the surgery and a pharmacist was the only person she could think of to ask when she and the pharmacist were done talking i spent almost an hour wheeling her around the store as she did her shopping then checked her out myself i got the feeling she didn't want to leave and after i'd put the wheelchair away and gone outside to empty the front trash bins i found her crying in her car the pharmacist later explained to us that she'd probably been too afraid of dying to want to be alone oh and on my second night working there someone completely blew up the bathroom with what looked to be projectile diarrhea she was by no means an older woman i would have guessed she was somewhere in her late twenties was very attractive and wearing a shirt that said built for tough she didn't know what to do to take care of herself after the surgery and a pharmacist was the only person she could think of to ask i was waiting for the line so that's how i met my now wife don't work in an office but during a night shift two finnish gentlemen get in each other's face and have a knife fight they no longer work with us nobody shot killed at my office but this one time a lady who was ditzy for lack of a more polite term rang back into the office one day at closing time crying and wanting to call the cops because her car was stolen a report was filed everyone got their panties in what about the lack security at work yada yada the summer faded into autumn then to winter one day someone walks through the parking lot and sees something shiny down the hill in the woods yeep it's ditzy's car it turns out ditzy drove a manual and was in the bad habit of not setting her parking brake when she thought she was on level ground the parking lot is ever so slightly inclined to the woods for water runoff purposes and quickly drops down the further back you go ditzy sounds like an understatement an employee was storing promo materials in the attic stepped off the side of the finished floor fell through the ceiling into the bathroom and landed on the toilet where someone else was sitting that was pretty freaked up if that was an 80s movie the person he landed on would have been some hot chick taking a pee i literally just started a job working front desk at a psychiatrist's office maybe two weeks ago now as you can expect there are a lot of interesting people that come through there but it's the phone that is the worst i've had to deal with people who call up 10 times a night with a new message for the doctor each time and who gets obsessive about it i've had to deal with manipulative parents trying to get info about their adult child disorder and then threatening me when i explain that it is illegal to share that info and for me to even read the file really i've had to deal with exes of patients literally stalking them and trying to get me to tell them when their next appointment is i have been a suicide hotline for three people now and probably many more in the future when i intake new patients over the phone i have to ask them for a brief description of the problems they are experiencing and the things people have told me in those moments are incredible one that sticks out was a woman who had ptsd from a rape and had just gotten out of the hospital after a suicide attempt she told me all that over the phone like she was telling me how to spell her last name most recently i had to call an ambulance for an elderly lady while she was sitting in the waiting room for her appointment she became disoriented and could no longer stand up she was at the psychiatrist's office to get help for her depression as a result of her chronic illnesses was the first time i've ever called 9-1-1 in my life afterwards i just went outside and smoked about three cigarettes in a row then went back to work and act like nothing happened despite how stressful this job can get sometimes i really really love it i have had mental health issues myself and it's really cool being able to help people like me get the treatment they need even if i can't afford my own right now due to lack of insurance i'd think your employer would be able to give you some sort of assistance since they presumably have all the resources required and could get you a deal the mental health of their worker seems like something that would be really important to a psychiatrist office company i used to work at planned parenthood so you know bomb threats and fake anthrax letters i was the director of education and outreach the country was on high alert about anthrax at the time so we were being extra careful we had had a couple threatening letters that turned out to be hoaxes but we were all a little more jumpy than usual so we may have overreacted a bit anyway one day i was sitting in my office and an employee walks in with an industry trade magazine yes they have them even for family planning and she had white powder on her hand and a frightened look on her face i asked her what was wrong and she said she had opened this up it came in a large envelope and there was white powder sprinkled throughout the pages i immediately took it from her and told her to follow me into the kitchen so she could wash her hands and then it dawned on me that the protocol was to immediately seal yourself and the potential anthrax threat into whatever room you happen to be in at the time we closed the door to the kitchen and called our security guy they brought the duct tape and sealed us in several hours later it was determined by the fire department and police that it was just a powder used to set ink that hadn't been properly shaken off the pages i don't know how they knew this given there wasn't any time to test it but whatever we lived the bomb threats were a pretty regular thing so i became desensitized to them but i know for a fact they were very frightening for our patients we would have to clear out the building and sometimes these people were in paper robes men too we did vasectomies standing in the parking lot i felt really bad for them and we would try to surround them to keep them away from prying eyes on the street my favorite thing was when i would wear red to work and the protesters on the street would scream stuff like you're wearing the blood of the unborn good times if you have enough stories for an ama that would be cool intent but if you could tell some now that would be cool too i work in a lab in a college chemistry department one of my co-workers got himself addicted to him he was eventually fired i sat down and figured out to make it so i could take stock in the lab and see if he'd been stealing stuff this was before breaking bad como i sat down and figured out to make it i have a great business idea if you're available at an old job there was a middle-aged chinese engineer who sat two offices down from me at work he was a really nice mild-mannered guy very smart and willing to help us junior guys out with questions however at some point some sort of external drama entered his life we were never certain of the specifics but we assumed marital discord how did we discover this drama he pretty much inadvertently announced it to our entire floor via the extremely loud high-pitched rapid fire shanghainese phone conversations he would occasionally have that pierced the otherwise blissful quiet of our officer place seriously the dude sounded like a coked out turkey with a megaphone comma seriously the dude sounded like a coked out turkey with a megaphone thank you for this i laughed myself silly if you are new to the channel you can subscribe i publish new videos every day until then check another video [Music] [Music] bye for now

Channel: On Tap Studios

Views: 57,861

Rating: 4.9039145 out of 5

Keywords: office, office stories, office story, weirdest office moments, weirdest work stories, office behaviour tips, office behavior, #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, \r, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, sub, reddit cringe, memes, comment awards, dankify, toadfilms, updoot everything, updoot reddit, chill, story, stories, reddit on tap

Id: m6aDzONCpLU

Length: 31min 38sec (1898 seconds)

Published: Sat Jun 06 2020