Teachers, What's The Funniest Reason You Had To Send Someone To The Office? (r/AskReddit)

teachers of Reddit what is the funniest reason you've had to send someone to the principal's office NSW not entirely principal's office because they were kindergartners but two boys turned off the lights in the bathroom had their pants around their ankles chasing each other around in the dark and peeing on each other that was a weird one to explain to the parents as her elementary school kid I wandered on in to pee and watched a stream of pee flow out from under the stall the kid was standing on the John spinning around pee janitors got it tough mang kid dropped a folder full of xeroxed copies of his Harry but turns out he had been taping them to people's lockers all over school I guess someone told him he had a nice butt and felt obligated to share it with the rest of the world my dad worked as a teacher in a school Phill misguided youth on the first day he wrote his name on the board as new teachers do and when he turned back toward the class a kid had left his desk on fire with hairspray and was just laughing three foot high flame no more than a foot away from him I had a sixth grader let me set the scene this kid is a human incarnation of Ralph Wiggum who wanted to get out of class so desperately that first he raised his hand and said his ears were ringing and he needed to go to the nurse sorry kid not falling for it 20 seconds later he raised his hand and said his tongue was burning and needed to go to the nurse not falling for it Ralph 10 seconds later he had blurry vision he was squishing his eyes with his hands no dice kid and then in the grand finale he stands with a flourish and yells so loud that teachers all down the hall stuck their heads out into the hallway my penis is bleeding we all stood mouth sagaie until the one smartest in the class adds kamar and you want the nurse to look at it for every Ralph there is a Bart I didn't send him to the office but one of my five moments was one time I was working with a small group while other students worked on independent stuff around the room one student was working pretty close to me and obviously made a mistake because he exclaims crap so I said excuse me ty what was that and he says oh I didn't say what you think ice des someday 42 and I said oh good what did you say and he says I said she i annoy obviously thinking hard T and then just stared at me horrified I was trying so hard not to laugh but I just told him that's what I thought you said please don't use that language in my classroom classic kid in boarding tried to cook a whole raw chicken with like 5 minutes in the microwave a whole chicken we were doing sketch comedy in 6th grade a few years back and seeing as it was a nice day we went outside to practice from across the field I see one of my students very clearly and aggressively trying to put his junk on a prone classmate when I asked him he said it was for his sketch and he was playing a character named the iron teabag the best was the follow-up text from my boss saying I had to Google what tea bagging was before I met with the kid gota give the kid an A+ for coming up with a name like the iron teabag not a teacher that this happened to me at 10 years old in primary school I was in an art class and my teacher was super informal and friendly to all the children there so we were allowed to chat a banter and so on I remember overhearing my sister 16 at a time calling someone a tee on the phone and I asked what it meant a a pregnant fish she said with a straight face so being the naive wide-eyed innocent boy I was I believed her cut back to art class where I'm having friendly banter with the teacher I say the monster stop being a t he he starts laughing with tears coming out of his eyes I'm thinking that I am the little king of banter the archbishop of banter Bri if you will when he says I'm sorry Mexi 4672 I'm gonna have to send you to the Headmaster's office you can't say that word I'm looking at him incredulously thinking there has to be some mistake then he asked me what do you think tea means I stare him down and smugly say it means a pregnant fish he begins to break down physically and escort me to the headmaster office I hear them talking and the headmaster starts laughing in his office he calls me and tells me that T in fact doesn't mean what I think it means I should never say it again in that I only get off with a detention to this day I'm still salty salty as a tea not a teacher but a classmates in my draft in class was sent to the Dean for 3d rendering a massive dong my teacher saw it commended him for his work and asked him to print it out he then stapled this to a referral and sent him to the Dean glorious for clarification a referral is bad in this case and we printed things and Toodee back then and liked it the beauty of going to an art school is that in my classes we are praised for doing crap like that not a teacher but we had an older ladies assigned substitutes in eighth grade it was a hot June day and the windows were open we were on the second floor my friend told the sub once she walked in the classroom that Jimmy had fallen out the window when the sub looked out the window she saw Jimmy laying on the ground contorted and she passed out we never got a chance to explain to her that his was joke he had just laid down on the sidewalk under the window the two boys got suspended and that sub never came back I'm a male fifth grade teacher one of my boys yelled out right before the 3:15 bell rang everybody be quiet I have an erection I was like did he just say that the way he said it made me giggle like a schoolgirl luckily no one noticed me turn and bust out laughing no one else seemed to really notice what he had said the bell rang to go home and I call him over I asked him if he knew what an erection was very innocently he said number then I thought oh great so I said do you know what a boner is of course he says number I could tell by his face that he wasn't lying so I said well it's when your private parts get hard right when I said that he got this very scared look on his face and said I promise I didn't know that like I said I could tell he wasn't lying I had a very hard time keeping a straight face he said his friend had yelled that out once so he thought he would I told him he can't say those kind of things and he has to be careful with what he says he walked away very embarrassed I laughed and laughed when he left the room he was probably trying to imitate the NSP song everybody shut up I have an erection girl got so drunk that she locked herself in the bathroom we found her and obviously had to call her parents to come take her home we kept telling her listen it's your Dean and you have to unlock the door she kept responding in the horrible drunk teenager voice no you listen I'm your Dean it was very difficult for us to not break down in laughter stupid kids look at me I'm the Dean now two of my fifth-grade students were arguing on our way to music class so I went over to see why they were talking in line I asked what was going on and the first kid said that the other kid had called him gay the second kid looked me straight in the eye and said I didn't call him gay I called him Abbi I sent them on their way to the principal's office and sarcastically thank them for the extra paperwork that kid is a freakin Savage I think he's the teacher now first year of high school got sent to the principal's office by my near retirement teacher for breaking dress code with my t-shirt that had drug references paraphernalia on it funny part is when the principal had to explain to my teacher that billabong is a legitimate clothing company name and nothing more in sixth grade during a school Mass my buddies made up a thing called wiener wack Wednesday him self-explanatory go around not tapping everyone well our really hot teacher caught two kids doing it and we had a whole lecture our next period she asked if any of us knew anything about it and all the girls told the teachers what was up every single guy in our class 15 at the time small Catholic school got called to the office we had to take turns talking to the principal and explaining that none of us were gay then she made us call our parents I was really freaked out that my father would think that I was gay he beat my butt at night not a teacher but saw the kid stand up in Russian class to do a speech on a topic of World War two Russia he decided to do a whole speech on why Hitler was the greatest now our teacher was born in Russia grew up during the Soviet Union and came to Minnesota to teach she was horrified if you think that the United States hates Hitler and nuts is the most you have not studied Russian in World War two I was glad because this knucklehead and his doubt she friends ruined Russian class for four years I have family through marriage that was from the USSR I told you Nazi joke once and I T did not go well kid walked into my room mister spod son I got a joke you will love is it school appropriate I think so here it is why are Catholics glad Jesus was crucified and not stoned I don't know why because now they do this he makes the sign of the Cross instead of this he starts punching himself randomly all over okay you have to go tell that one to Mister the Dean Dean laughs his butt off too and sends him back to class to this day it is my favorite joke I had this obnoxious smell me show off a fifth grader one day he was up to his usual smartass re and a girl silently got up opened the classroom pencil sharpener and dumped the shavings all over the kid I had to send her to the office but it was a truly satisfying moment for the whole class as one of the two people who out tried deck the classes shat in eighth grade homeroom I can appreciate going all out the teacher denied having seen me punch him to saying we were just posing for a fight it was near the end of the year teacher was two hundred percent done with the kid I punched can I tell you what I did instead of kicking a kid out I was covering another teacher's class in a computer lab and we have a program called NetSupport that basically allows you to spy on all the kids computers it also serves some legit instructional purposes like allowing you to take control of a kid's computer so you can demonstrate things only this teacher never used it so I don't think the kids knew it existed I don't normally use it because I don't like the Big Brother vibe it gives off but there was the kid being a total obnoxious jerk he was looking up stupid and distracting videos and laughing loudly about them and making obnoxious comments to show off in front of his friends I could have blocked - but instead I took control of his computer I started typing in kitten videos into YouTube My Little Ponies anything I could think of that wouldn't be cool to him or his friends then every time he started to freak out and insist he wasn't doing it to his friends I gave him control back and then took it away again then finally I made a little pop up come up on his screen that said I'm watching you I expected him to figure out what was going on but I think he got freaked out instead it never seemed to occur to him that it was me so I gave him control back and he did his work quietly for the rest of the class I went to a small Catholic High School in the Seattle area we had monthly mass in our gym and every year around Easter we did the Stations of the Cross Mass was always brutal but the stations lasted two and a half hours or so unreal a little background I couldn't burp until I was in my early 20s I have no clue why but then he built up gas had only one exit growing up I farted to the point that people thought I had a medical condition people even called me fat boy anyway it was my senior year and we were headed to the dreaded Stations of the Cross Mass my friends and I had torn but in class a number of times but never during Mass we always talked about doing it but never mustered the Jew verse I had decided about a week before that this would be the day the mass was set up where the choir would sing before each station I think there were 11 or something and then the priests would ramble on about its significance each time the choir stopped there would be about 10 seconds of complete silence we are on the fifth station and the choir is finishing leave there when Jesus something something rahrr up i unleashed a behemoth right as everything went silent I was sitting on gym bleachers which amplified the blast perfectly I remember the guy at front of me was inexplicably holding a yellow plastic screwdriver he dropped it in shock often the blast wave we'll never know my buddy and I proceeded to muffle our laughter for at least an hour until Mass ended I've never tried to not laugh for that long before or since each time one of this would start to settle down the other would release cackle that started the whole process over again we didn't even get in trouble I'm not sure if the teachers thought it was an accident or never wanted to speak of it again I am laughing right now one of my favorite memories and wanted church laughs are a strange mix of Awesome and terrifying at the same time a forbidden laugh is the best laugh of all in high school I got called to the principal's office they put a screenshot of the urban dictionary entry for Cleveland steamer in front of me and asked why I was looking at that I laughed my butt off and said I was just doing some research and got sent back to class so this doesn't quite fit the question but I can't tell this story without laughing so here it is I used to work in a super strict school for kids who got kicked out of their regular schools we had an assembly twice a day morning and afternoon that was extremely serious the kids had to sit up straight with their hands in their laps girls on one side and boys on the other totally silent that kind of thing occasionally when we were having behavior problems with entire groups we'd make them sit in assembly for the remainder of that period or however long until they could get it together there was a class middle schoolers naturally who could not stop farting they'd intentionally farts as loud as they could just to be growth and disruptive and it even evolved into them getting up out of their seats and farting on each other this is hilarious to me now Vivek got really old and really smelly anyway one day it was happening so much throughout each class that we took them to assembly I'm standing in the front with the other teachers and our principal was talking to them except he was pee so he's pacing back and forth reaming these kids out punching his fist into his hand spit flying out of his mouth his face is bright red he's saying all this stuff about respect and then he adds in oh and if you have to fart and he yelled the word fart with such venom and disdain that I just lost it right there in front of everyone I could not stop laughing I tried to play it off like a coughing fit or something but I couldn't I had to leave the room not a teacher but the last time I was sent to the principal's office was over a live chicken in high school the high school I went to use the eighth block schedule system my last period teacher was afraid to the point of hilarity of birds we had chickens at home and since there were 4h chickens they were quite DOS I'll I put one in a duffel bag one morning and then put it in the top shelf of my locker they will just sleep if it's duck so once last period came I just put it in the bag she was used to all of this bringing bags in since it was last period and when she got up to put the attendance slip on the door I just took it out of the bag and put it in the middle of the room hilarity ensued and I spent the next day playing pockemon and suspension in the cafeteria the year was 1987 second grade me decided to bring the penthouse mags I found under my dad's bed to school I found them the night before and thought up this whole plan it was cold so I slid them in between the pocket of my jacket before leaving in the morning shortly thereafter on the playground I was showing my buddies these beautiful women with the most raging seventies muff you could imagine finally get to class and find out that my teacher was ill and was replaced by asam thinking I had it made I slid a mags under all my papers in my box and went about the day just before lunch the sub started going through boxes searching for a folder for the neighboring teacher that's when she screamed the sub was waiting the penthouse had meet while dragging me to the principal's office to make things that much better my sweet 80 years old grandma was the one to pick me up I made the mistake of leaving a ninth grader in my classroom when he missed the bus home I had to go to meeting and it was pouring rain so I let him stay I told him not to use the computers the meeting was in the computer lab we were learning how to see all of the students computers on our own screens the tech guy had us all pull up our first period classes on our monitors to test it out no students should have been logged on to a computer at the time all the screens should have been blank I saw that a very conservative Jehovah's Witness teacher and the row head of me had one screen lit up on her multi screen view I watched if she clipped on the screen to see at larger she gasped she made a small whining sound it was anime style tentacle pee it was the screen of the student I had left alone in my classroom the teacher quickly turned around calling my name very loudly and asked if insert student name here was in my classroom I told her he was I got up and went to the phone at the back of the room I called my classroom number the student answered I said you're doing something you shouldn't be doing right now aren't you he said I yes I said I suggest you turn it off right now I heard footsteps running across the floor and a slam he returned to the phone I'm so sorry I I I'm sorry I just I we'll talk about this later I said I hung up what an unlucky kid he chose to watch tentacle pee on the wrong day at the wrong time anime style tentacle pee as opposed to real-life tentacle pee which is absolutely a real thing and no I do not want to find out about it put that link away goddammit redditor I was doing an about Miss Maddy don't leave slideshow at the beginning of the school year and it had a slide with me at a Cardinals game I explained how I'm a huge Cardinals fan and go to games every chance I get kid raises his hand and asks do you like getting really drunk at Cardinals games I mean obviously I do but god dangit kid you're in eighth grade don't ask me that I had a student as we were playing team jeopardy discreetly right assigned to flash two other teams that were up that said you know knee pulls are going down because you friggin suck at science love team seven inches it took me a while to catch him it was one of those freak that's hysterical but you can't say that to people in school situations same kid asked if I'll like to smoke weed not as funny but still funny that he thought it was appropriate to ask the joys of being a 23 year old teacher are endless they think of you as appear sometimes and ask the most inappropriate questions mrs. B I have a question I think it might be a dumb question sweetie there's no such thing as a dumb question my brother's told me this though so there might be calm affair what is it okay so you know Michael Jackson right he was like kinda old so I think who'd know about him yet hon he was even a thing when my mom was a kid ro but yet so you've seen thriller right when they play it around Halloween yet I love that video okay well my brother's told me that Michael Jackson was really a werewolf and a zombie and I just wanted to ask was he really a werewolf or a zombie comma no dear I knew it I knew Michael Jackson wasn't a zombie he's still dead and they're full of crap several students hadn't gasped otherwise I never even think I would have sent him to the office I was about to die laughing and he wasn't wrong either I knew his brothers and they were both consistently full of crap sweetie there's no such thing as a dumb question my brother's told me this though so there might be burnt there was a student with autism who lived in a very literal world we'll call him T you had to be precise with your words as T could not comprehend slang or figurative language he had an issue with another student at recess the day prior it was something minor about a basketball basically he had a basketball and placed it under the goal and walked away another student grabbed it T became angry and ultimately gave the ball to the other student rather begrudgingly apparently T told his uncle and the uncles response was I'd have made that kitty to crap sandwich well T made a quick stop by the litter box before coming to school he also wrote a note to the other kid saying I get the ball today you can have this crap sandwich it wasn't a gesture he viewed as inappropriate he actually thought the crap sandwich was a viable option for the other student I had to send him to the office but my god did die laughs even his mom laughed before Apple Ajay zhing the principal still has the note in the office two years later oh man I have so many stories I'll share a few from the last school year that come to mind one an eighth grader farted to make his friends laugh and it was so bad we had to clear out the middle of the room there was uncontrollable gagging I had to write a pass for him to go check his pants and then go to the principal's office to a kindergartener was walking in front of a projector screen so her shadow was on the board she had cute little pigtail buns and a ribbon so it looked like Minnie Mouse then she shot two middle fingers up three I taught seventh graders how to use Google classroom which has a comment section under each assignment even if they delete their comments every one of them is still emailed to me one kid wasn't paying attention when I explained all of that and wrote y'all know dis class's poo he and about ten other kids had an entire conversation that they tried to delete and adamantly denied it so I turned on the projector and went through my emails in front of everyone five I'm thirty ish and wear glasses a middle schooler argued with me over doing his work and was asked to leave and his parting shot was whatever old but look like Harry Potter anyways crap I'm too late for this one not a teacher but my mother is kid in her class asked if she had any kids at the time I was my mother's only child she mentioned me and the kid goes what school does he go to and of course my mom answers without hesitation kid goes good I'm ma blow it up expelled the previous day kids father son I've just got this new photo enlarger and a big box of old aerial photos of all the local schools so if you know anyone who goes to one of them we can blow it up to give them a large print as a present one of the brightest honest female students I've ever had to the most annoying kid I've ever had would you shut the Frick up took everything in me not to laugh or say I know right girl in class with last name of Sanchez on her birthday her friend is wearing a t-shirt that says happy birthday Dirty Sanchez I told her she'd have to go to the office to get a t-shirt to wear over it that's when it got stupid because she accused me of being a crappy teacher and to freak off as she was leaving well then when she got to the office the principal laughed because he knew what a dirty sanchez is I didn't even send the kid I was too amused I asked one of my students to come smash a giant bus spider on my desk being nine years old he walked up with an impressive swagger trying to show all his friends how brave he was he took one look at it and whispered Oh Frick I was the only person who heard him so I just stifled my laughter and told him I wouldn't write him up if he killed it he did and was the talk of the lounge at lunch your good teacher you presented a win-win option for both you and the kid that's about all anyone can ask for I got sent to the principal's office with my buddy Mike for singing American Pie principal told us if we could sing it all we could go back to class if not detention we sang it the whole dang thing not a teacher but as a fifth grader two friends and I were playing with the jump rope during recess when the playground attendant walked up and asked if she could show us something now this was a fairly large women and I had my doubts in her jump roping abilities but we were 10 so who were we to say no to an adult she takes her place in the between the two girls and with the first revolution of the jump rope falls flat on her face my friends and I along with the 10 or so other kids in the vicinity start to laugh uncontrollably while she struggles to peel herself off the ground you may looked in at having embarrassed herself in front of a bunch of little kids she yells for everyone that laughed to go to the principal's office so a dozen or so kids go marching off to the office when we tell the principal why we're there he immediately starts laughing the kind of red-faced silent laughter that takes about two minutes for him to get under control finally he says you all can go back out there and tell her I'd have done the same thing I never saw her again after that recess that's such a freaking sad story I used to work in a tough high school in South Central LA one of the most challenging boys in school was in my integrated math class and one day he's been using profanity so I've gone through the whole discipline stages and have a referral written for him on my desk but I'm giving him chances because it's South Central well eventually he cusses again I go run Sean again we cannot be using that language in class under his breath he goes freak that crap mother sucker I whip around what did you just say the whole class turns and looks at him and it catches him off guard and then in Dave chapel's Rick James voice he screams I said freak that crap mother sucker cult class is laughing I'm in tears he gets up grabs the referral and walks to the office when I was teaching grade 6 I had a student walk into the classroom from the hallway hailing Hitler means to office similar thing year 7 first day German language class and that was how a classmate greeted the teacher asked the kids for examples of interjections one kid goes Frick it was actually kind of funny and in the right context yes it can be an interjection but I still had to send him to the office teaching a grade 8 English class last block of the first sunny day this last March to say the kids were getting a bit rowdy is putting it lightly I kind of left them to do what they wanted working on a project they had you in about a week about halfway through class I started hearing some louder than normal laughter coughing coming from a bat group I let it go twice but the third time I had to go investigate as I wander over the kids part and giggle pretending to work one of the boys class clown let's call him Gavin is working while having a hand over his nose and mouth I also notice a bag of sour skittles along with the sour powder scattered around here I think I can either stop this right now or I can let it get hilarious obviously I walk away not five minutes later the coughing happens again only this time Gavin makes his way to my desk covering his nose still now hand under his mouth collecting drool ah huh need to go to the bathroom I smile at him knowingly why would that be I need a drink why I choked on skittles drool is now pooling in his fingers you choked on skittles is that really it okay I was snorting skittle powder Nell can I please the drool is dripping through his fingers now after you clean yourself up please send yourself to the office I need to know what mr. principal thinks of your choice of activity he looked at me for a moment that's fair and wanders out as soon as he left the class I start crying I'm laughing so hard potential future Toronto mayor fight each other University so I didn't send him to the principal just out of class I once told a student to leave class because he never brought his textbook and constantly played on his phone also after two classes of this I told him to get out because he was distracting other students this kid freaked out yelling and cursing at me keep in mind I am a 5 feet 2 female and this kid is about 6 feet the rest of the class is like WTF and I stared him down and said get the Frick out of my classroom kid picked up his books and left from that point on anytime someone screwed up in class the rest of the class would shout get out of my classroom at them they all thought it was hysterical that high Canada's giant first time I was sent to the principal's office was in second grade so probably seven years old for bringing some Playboy's to school and showing them to other kids at recess I am sure it was amusing and horrifying for whatever teacher sent me we had a live-in nanny whose stash I discovered and sterile I didn't have any idea what they were all about but I remember thinking how these naked ladies seemed great and felt compelled to share my discovery although I didn't get in trouble for it here's another amusing story from that age in kindergarten if you behaved well each day then you get a ticket and every few weeks you could enter those raffle tickets to win small toys my parents discovered I was selling my tickets to other kids and asked me why I doing it apparently I replied if I enter the raffle I might not win but if I sell my tickets I can buy the toy I want by all accounts I was an amusing kid smart kid band teacher here I had a seventh grade trumpet student who was doing a plane test in class she was an absolute sweetheart short nice girl whose trumpet was about half her size she starts to play and makes a mistake crap she exclaims plays a bit more crap this continued throughout the excerpt I must say it was the most heartfelt crap I had ever heard following the test I said dear did you realize you cussed after every mistake her response oh crap well the whole class was looking at me like what are you going to do I asked her to sit in my office and I will deal with it after class class ends and I go to my office and smile I told her she shouldn't use those words but I'm very impressed with how much she progressed and cared I didn't send her to the principal but I was proud of her because she actually gave a crap she gave multiple if your story is true not a teacher but in eighth grade science class I witnessed greatness while in the lab my partner asked the teacher what would happen if he pulled a safety shower lever and the teacher said that nothing would happen five minutes later my partner pulled the lever and of course a waterfall erupts from the showerhead and spreads all over the lab but the teacher looks shell-shocked as everyone is laughing hysterically she then screams Josh go to the office now not the principal's office but we had a friend let's call him Steve get written up foreign school suspension Steve why'd you get written up says nothing hands me the slip reason for 2 ND write up 8 first detention slip he vomited a lot later one they poisoned my fish with copper sulfate two separate event they put weed on my gem scales I'm sorry about your fish from the student side we were discussing different shots in cinematography like close-up and long shots basically the teacher asked us to call them out and I screamed out come if you are new to the channel you can subscribe I publish new videos every day until then check another video [Music]

Channel: Updoot

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Keywords: school, school stories, teacher, teachers, teachers stories, funnies school stories, fiunniest reasons, principal office, #updootst, updoot, updoot reddit, updoot everything, reddit on tap, toadfilms, pewdiepie, reddit, askreddit, funny reddit, reddit stories, top posts, reddit top posts, reddit cringe, comedy, reddit compilation, r/, r/askreddit, top posts of r/, askreddit reading, best reddit posts, top posts of all time, people of reddit, askreddit question, ask reddit, subreddit, sub

Id: oBSvl_rScXs

Length: 33min 39sec (2019 seconds)

Published: Fri Jun 05 2020