What Was Your Most Insane "WTF Moment" In Dating? (r/AskReddit)

dear adit last night I finally went on a date with this guy who's been asking me out for the past couple of months he took me to a weight loss seminar what's your what the frickin Frick is this moment in your dating history went out with a girl for a first date she took me to a condo lesson which is a Korean sword fighting sport I thought that was cool but it was an advanced class and I made somewhat of a fool of myself but all in good fun anyway it turned out that she was bringing me there because she wanted me to be part of the documentary about foreigners in Korea so am I looking like a fool was broadcast nationwide we then visited the Grand Master's house for Maki Ali and the film crew started interviewing me they were basically focusing on my relationship with the girl I was going out with they didn't seem to understand it was a first date so here I am trying to answer awkward questions without embarrassing both of us on national television there's bad dates then there's nationally-televised bad dates there was a guy who had been asking me to hang out for a while and I finally said yes he wanted to hang out at his house with his roommate so I went he took me into the basement where there was a dirty mattress on the floor and nothing else I ran to this day I have no idea what it was about but I ran and never told anyone about it until now finally someone with common sense your brain says run and you did good for you when I was a teenager I worked at a retail store in the mall and a guy who worked a few stores down would always come in and talk to me he was super sweet and genuine and would randomly take me to lunch bring me coffee and the like it was nice to just have someone to talk to and who seemed genuinely interested in me and what I had to say he asked me on a date a few times and I always declined I don't like the idea of dating someone who I work with work next to just in case a gosar after a month or two I finally agreed to go on a date with him because good guys are hard to find I couldn't just let him pass by he picks me up at my house and on our waiter Dano we get into a car accident the driver's side was t-boned pretty badly and we ended up having to go to the hospital where he contacted his roommate who then contacted my dates girlfriend I must know what happened when his girlfriend found out he got in a car accident taking another woman out on a date after my freshman year of college I met a guy on OkCupid and we went to get dinner at Friday's as our first date offered to give me a ride but I said no he was a couple years older well-dressed and started talking about how he'd started his own business after college and it was going well good for him bragging a bit but hey that's an accomplishment so after we order he says let's play a game we'll each take out our wallets and compare what's in them wasn't a joke literally started showing me his credit cards and bragging about the high limits ending with clearly you can't afford to pay for this dinner but don't worry I can cover you I was pee and protested but he wouldn't take no for an answer so as we leave he says he wants to show me his car unfortunately it was before mine in the loft so I had to walk by it it was a white wind in a serial-killer van he begged me to freak him in it right there in the Friday's parking lot I was pretty glad I drove separately hopefully I won't need to do dating again ever but if I do your story has made me decide that if I do I will take my own transport a guy I had met three days previously offered to pick me up and hang out I was cool with that but he ended up dragging me around on errands we went to his dentist appointment then when I said I wanted to leave he said he'd give me a ride home but only in exchange for a bj I was pretty scarred about dating after that and no I didn't give him a bj I got out right there and walked to a bus stop I went on a date with a guy that I met online he told me to dress nice and that he was going to take me out for dinner he took me to Subway ordered a footlong teriyaki chicken sub he looked at me and said I hope you like teriyaki chicken we shared the sub in his car safe to say there was no second date went to pick a girl up at her house after meeting on a dating website she seemed significantly larger than her photo but only in the lower abdominal region but this is when I realized that she had failed to mention that she was pregnant guy I worked with kept asking me out I continuously said no after about a year I started to feel bad for the guy and said yes to a date he asked me to lunch so I figured it could be a quick easy date he picked me and took me to Wendy's where he made me order off the dollar menu and I could only get two things after this very quiet lunch where he hunkered over his chicken nuggets like I would steal them he said he needed to stop at Walmart we go in and he heads to the lotion section strange but whatevs he then grabs two scented lotions and asks which one I like better being nice I pick one and he responds with great I'll use this for your massage oh-oh luckily I had to work in two hours and told him the massage would have to wait I spent the next three months trying to avoid him until he quit I met this cute girl in college I asked her out a couple times she was really into me numerous occasions we sat in a coffee shop for six seven eight hours talking the night away but couldn't do anything about it if she was seeing someone else okay fair enough I'm a little persistent we hang out on and off six months later after she and her significant other break up or so I was told we start seeing each other fast forward eight months and she's at my place Ickx seven days a week has taken over half my condo with her stuff we commute to work together I'm having supper with our parents always hanging out with her sisters and their boyfriends she's always over at my parents things are going really well I was crazy about her part of the family and all that good stuff about a week before Christmas she sits me down and basically says that she never really broke up with her boyfriend he was just out west he was coming home and we were over she was just seeing me on the side and quite frankly didn't understand why I wasn't seeing someone else at the same time seeing how we weren't all that serious excuse me what well how low can you go that's just pure evil at least you're not with her I had a guy take me to a beer and Christ thing he was you back a phthalic and thought I could benefit from letting Christ into my cold cold cold Jewish heart so I go I'm open-minded I'm only half-jewish and have always been interested in other religions it was going okay until the priest the Speaker of the night tailed as a hypothetical tail of our brother who is paralyzed we have the ability to cure him with stem cells he will walk as soon as the transaction is complete , how many of you here would purchase these stem cells and allow your brother to walk again my hand shoots up I look around the room nothing no hands I then notice everybody staring at me including my date and the priest I was blessed out like nobody's business and was told I was an embarrassment to my date good times not sure how long ago this was for you if it was recently you could have pointed out to everyone there that stem-cell research in treatment no longer requires the use of fetal stem cells and in fact can be done with stem cells from an adult then ask the priest and everyone present who wouldn't donate their own stem cells to save their brother science is pretty awesome on my first date with a guy off an internet dating site he took us to the Scientology Museum in London I thought harm original easy to find things to talk about laugh at the craziness of this could be fun then he proceeded to read every single piece of writing on every single exhibit ask the attendant very probing questions about how one goes about joining Scientology etc etc and sounding slightly too interested to just be intrigued about a religion also he was visibly sweating once we were done there we went for a glass of wine and he told me he used to shoot H I was out of there like a shot when I was young and stupid I dated a guy with a temper he would get mad about something stupid like saying goodbye too quickly on the phone pick a fight and we'd break up he would call a day or two later and we would make up after a few months I had figured out the cycle and I was fed up so when he picked a fight as usual I undid it and then didn't take him back while we were dating I had become close with his sisters and his mum loved me we had scheduled a girls lunch and his sister begged me to go I finally said yes and went everything was fine and I had a great time the whole lunch was probably two hours long at the end I walked to their car with them and the mom grabbed me and said hear him out of the car comes her son WTF who was trying to explain to me why we should be together I just walked past him to my car as he ran after me he ended up picking a fight with me because it was my fault we broke up and I didn't even call him so he could fix it then he threw rocks at my car as I drove away I wish I had a picture of what my face looked like when he came out of that car I never spoke to him again and never accepted another invitation from his family sounds like his family didn't realize how crazy he was he probably treated his mom and sisters as badly as he treated you oh no that would be so hilarious if I wouldn't feel bad for you the only freaked up moment was when my date was on the phone for quite a while talking to her friends that I didn't know it was quite boring obviously it even got to the point that the old lady who had coffee next to our table in the restaurant told me that back in her day the guys would have not accepted that behavior from their dates not that I want to relive the old days but I heeded her advice dang that old lady just called you a bee I'm sure this has happened to everyone who has dated online I met a guy online who seemed really nice we exchanged a few emails and got along well enough so we decided to meet up for a matinee we exchanged pics so that we could at each other at the theater where we were meeting I show up expecting to see the heavyset dude around my age because that's what his profile and pic said instead he was about 20 years older and 100 pounds heavier than his picture I am a fairly open-minded person when it comes to dating and I know that many folks embellish but come on we watched our movie in silence and politely parted ways I thought you were meeting up for inanity and was like whoa what a cool date there's been a few but the absolute worst was the woman who turned up to the pub with literally no money expecting me to buy her drinks and dinner I wouldn't have minded if she'd have told me beforehand but this was completely out of the blue so anyway we sat there making awkward conversation or at least I tried to start a conversation told her about my life asked her questions she was too busy texting and phoning her friends to really take notice so eventually we did get talking and then out of nowhere she told me that she killed her dog not accidentally either I just upped and left and avoided all the contact that was two years ago Jenny how do I get out of this lol tell him you killed a dog lol and one not really a date though a few years back in high school socially awkward lanky weird English guy called Eric we were friends in the same group and in the same maths class he had the hots for me for a while he kept hinting at dating and seeing a movie all my guy friends asked me to give him a chance he's not that bad bla bla I decided not to date him but to try and be more accepting of him even though he kinda gave me the creeps and hopefully if we were just friends he would get the message and leave me alone in the creepy sense I invited him around to my place for video games and a few rounds of pool however I made sure my dad was home as directed and make me feel all that comfort for some reason anyway we take turns at thps2 and head down to the garage for a few rounds of pool I whip his butt at pool and he realizes he needs to get home I see him to the door and say goodbyes and we have a brief hug as I pulled away from the hug he grabbed me by the wrists quite hard Derek please Richard Jarrell please kiss me me dude what are you doing let me go Derek holding my wrists tighter and now hurting me please please I've never been kissed please me WTF Derek let me go by this point he's trying to bring me closer to him and puckering up for a kiss still keeping a really strong and painful grip on my wrists I'm squirming trying to get away from him he was really strong though we let the Frick go or I am calling down my dad Derek you wouldn't dare please just kiss me me tire on it come here I swear I've never seen a boy move faster out of the door than Derek my dad chased him down he rode calling him every name under the Sun last I heard about him he had been done for physical assault this is the point where you don't feel bad for kicking a guy in the balls so I went on a couple dates with this girl and she was giving me some signs that she was ready to get a little physical so I leaned and close and try to kiss her and she turns her face away from me stunned I end up going home and thinking it was over between us later on she contacts me and starts hinting we should go out again I decide to go for it again after getting some heavy hints and she pushes me away but so now I just ask what's going on she says I am on dates with you so I don't feel like I'm under a ball but I'm not attracted to you she called me the next day and I told her I am NOT dating people who make me feel undable then hang up do you you may have just solved one of the biggest mysteries of my life I am going to assume I was once in the same situation as you in college this guy from one of my classes asked me to go out with him out of the blue we'd never even talked before but he was pretty cute so I said sure we exchanged numbers and he said he'd call me with details he called the next day and told me we were going to a restaurant that was way out of my price range we are talking like no way will this bill will be under $100 I tried talking him out of it and when that didn't work flat out saying I couldn't afford something like that but he insists and tells me not to worry this all really should have been a clue to me but so I say fine and agree to go we get to the restaurant and the waiter comes over and I go to order the cheapest thing on the menu when he stops me and says ignore her we're both having the steak but I don't like steak she's just saying that because she's poor we'll have steak and chews the waiter away I'm mortified and pee and want to leave but he was my ride he tries to make conversation and just proves to me that he really is in but then he says he has to go to the bathroom and leaves I'm sitting there for a good ten minutes before he texts me haha hell I got the shoots from drinking last night don't eat without me that while the last straw I called the waiter over pay for my meal and go to the Starbucks down the street to call my friend to pick me up TL DR guy was trying to impress me and was the world's biggest but I paid for just my meal not his and I'm well-aware I didn't owe him anything I just wanted to make a clean break from this guy WTF the guy sounds like he's 12 a girl I had just met asked me out she wanted to take me to dinner we end up at this little Italian place she says she knows someone that works there when our waiter arrives he appears visibly shaken stuttering she introduces me to him this is her friend she mentioned before I can see it right away this guy has a thing for her and here she is introducing him to her date she then bugs him for special orders and asks if we can get our meals free he really seems upset but gives her the onething for you look and agrees I decline and pay for my own meal I felt really bad for this guy I could just see his torment and watching this girl date someone else she was very attractive and very friendly I assumed he just got friend-zoned I hung out with her a few more times but back to our fault the romantic part then I found out that the guy from the restaurant was her ex-boyfriend who she had just dumped a few days before and had been dating since high school this was two three years after I graduated TL DR girl tried to get her recent ex bf to serve me free food I was already cringing before I got to the bit about being an ex boyfriend my god that's just so I'm working at borders this was around the time that it had just gone into voluntary administration in Australia and I'm chatting to a customer for a bit about how I am trying to find work as a freelance graphic designer while finishing up uni she mentions to me that she might have some work for me I give her my card and think I've totally found a new client she invites me to a local coffee shop to chat and I'm really excited about some prospective work during our coffee chat she asks me what I do okay she must have forgotten I thought I told her I do graphic design and she goes ooh oh cool I used it in a graphic design too but I don't need to do that anymore this is where I think hang on why is she even talking to me so she pretty much was trying to recruit me to pretty much become her Lackey and sign up for a pyramid scheme where I can sell vitamins and whatnot get people I know to work for me and done even more money and get cool crap like holidays and loads of money and gift cards and clothes and everything but he just would not stop selling it to me I regret giving her my card I got a text from her the other day saying that we should catch up yep number so pretty much this friend of yours seems to be milking every single acquaintance he knows acquaintances are good because they are not close friends but they are still connections this lady I met seemed to wave to a lot of people so I'm assuming she had tried to poach them from them and not honest retail jobs as well honestly the best thing to do is just ignore his texts and emails and walk nuts works a charm a few years ago my wife and I were invited over to her friend's house for drinks he fortunately decided to warn me a day or two before the event that it wasn't just for drinks but wouldn't say what it was we knew he dabbled in amway so we figured we were in for the sales pitch it was also supposed to be a group gathering of 10-12 people and we thought we could sneak into the back make an appearance and leave as if we were the targets we were the only invitees so we arrived two hours late and the Amalie people were all sitting on the couch just waiting for us we had to sit through the entire presentation pretend to be interested and pretend not to notice that the woman presenting was a complete psycho she kept saying that she was right at the top of the organization pulling in the big box and she is only doing this presentation as a favor to James to get his business started we finally managed to lead without committing to anything James called me later and told me he was dating the woman and she insisted he let her give a presentation it´ll ended well when they were at a restaurant a few months later got into a fight and she stabbed him in the arm with a fork that was the end of an way unfortunately I doubt that that was truly the end of Amway although I love the thought so anyway she stabs him and then Amway caught fire back in high school there was a very beautiful girl named Melissa in a few of my classes this was the mid to late 90s and pregnant teenagers weren't as common as they are now so I think it added to her mystique that she had a child it never bothered me though I just thought she was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen so any chance I got to be around her I took it she needed a tutor check someone to talk to check I never had the guts to ask her out though I wasn't much of a look at myself in high school so it took me a pretty darned long time to do it finally I did and she said yes I can't remember how it went down but I think we decided that I'd pick the restaurant she'd pick something else to do so she shows up with her sister that should have been my cue - no paid back inside my house but I didn't because I was an idiot we went to eat and then she said she had a surprise for me that she thought I'd really enjoy I was excited did she rarely plan something we pull up to a small Convention Center and start to head in I'm already starting to WTF it when we make our way towards one of the rooms and there it is clear as day on a sign out front of the door and way I cannot describe my internal anguish and feelings of absolute failed during the lecture in the beat up afterwards they didn't even sit with me we'd arrived late and they moved to open seats on one side while I sat on the other I barely remember how I answered the inundation of my people's questions but somehow I made it through the evening I remember never even seeing Melissa all her sister during this time and as we finally met up to go home I was utterly destroyed we got home she looks me dead in the eyes and tells me that she had a really nice time tonight AIA code the sentiment told her sister it was nice to meet her and went inside never even looked at Melissa again so my friend scored a date where the girl he'd had a crush on for years a superhot crush with a strict and religious family he tells me he needs me to come on a double date because she will only go out with him as her cousin can come along well off we go and her cousin is surprisingly hot too this favor seems to be working out in my favor the plan is to start with an Irish picnic on the private beach we sat on benches and drank a beer my date has one beer and starts to act odd she tells me I'm so good-looking she's whispering and giggling with her cousin then another group shows up and we all start chatting somehow she offers to give one of the guys there a ride home as we're leaving to go do whatever was next she pulls him into the back seat and her cousin sits next to her for some reason the Sun has gone down on this guy only lives five minutes away we're driving for like a minute when my buddy leans over and whispers dude she's blowing that guy I look back as a streetlight lights them up oh yes she is to be clear we are all in the same car now we drop off BJ guy who is like thanks guys and this is where the night gets worse my buddy says I need you to just come with us to eat I'm sorry but I'll pay he's super intense about it but also I'm starting to laugh about this blatant [ __ ] Ernest and his day just looked so embarrassed so I grudgingly say fine we're driving like five minutes again than this girl is still trying to talk to me from the backseat then she leans forward and starts to kiss my neck I pull away and tell her to stop this happened maybe ten more times and her cousin is restraining her and is mortified I'm leaning forward in my seat to get away from crazy okay she is too crazy for a restaurant so my buddy decides to do a nearby local cheesesteak place that is pretty popular we get inside and my friend starts laughing at me he tells me to check my neck in the mirror yes I somehow have a crazy-ass hickey I don't even have time to lose my crap on this girl when she hops over the counter and starts yelling an order into the microphone at the register we'll have fries we dragged her back out to the car and sat her in the backseat I stood guard from outside the car so she couldn't blow any passerby or anything while my friend had a dinner date the whole time the crazy girl was begging me to please PLEASE F her and trying to climb out i though less of her cousin for leaving her but she said she needed to wait for her to sober up or whatever before they could go home that took about two more hours of annoying I actually saw her the next day and she couldn't look anyone in the eyes or talk to us there was no second date for anyone TL DR girl had one beer and went crazy blew another guy on my date try not to suck any dong on your way to the parking lot I remember a hot little gal in college who agreed to go out with me she said she had a surprise for me Christian revival meeting but we will do one I was on the bus once watching a conversation like this take place and it ended with dude who was unlikely to get laid yet all right who else is going hot Christian girl um well Jesus will be there met a girl on a Cupid I take her out to dinner she seems a little odd but overall nice and the conversation is going well we both like video games so I invite her over to my place after dinner for some xbox action she proceeds to drink all my liquor and take all my leftover hydrocodone from a work injury I had suffered a few months prior she starts unplugging all my crap and calling me names like bran and tot and saying how she doesn't like it when people hit her I tell her I'm taking her home and have to physically drag her to my car with her kicking and screaming the whole way there but she then try to get out of my car while we are on the highway but thankfully I had the sense to lock the doors and she was too freaked up to realize it but she gets pee and starts hitting me while I'm driving on the highway I finally get her home get her through her front door and leave on my way back to my car her freaking iPhone hits me in the back of the head I Drive home bleeding from my head she calls me the next day from a number I don't recognize asking how our date went and if I knew where her phone was I laugh and hang up you gotta be kidding there's a whole movie in that paragraph setting blind date at a sushi restaurant I was 24 he was 19 we already had nothing to talk about so I told him this story I had gone to the local gamma stop for the sole reason to talk to the guy behind the counter I got in line had some small talk and as I was getting my receipt I asked him hey are you seeing anyone his reply me I'm gay I was mortified that my gaiter failed me so I just gave him a high-five and left I was still shocked and cried in my car about five minutes after I finished that story I look over to the 8th person group beside us I caught the eye of the very same gay guy I hit on at the mess start we waved to each other he was with his boyfriend whoa at least you know he was actually gay and not using that as an excuse to turn you down pee a guy I was totally into moved pretty far away we were interested in each other though spoke a lot and eventually he decided to visit me for a weekend I imagined romantic things happening he wanted to go wallpaper shopping and so it was that our first date was in the home furnishings department of John Lewis he got lots off very ugly samples then we went to habitat where he looked at lamps and said the word are very loudly within five years we were married met a guy from a dating site guy in the photos sort of looked like Kevin Smith I get to the restaurant and order a drink I told the waiter I was meeting a blind date so make it strong one guy I meet looks like Moe from the Three Stooges but much thinner same haircut and all he proceeded to tell me that he lost all of the weight due to medical issues I did not press further because we were having dinner drinks he worked at a gaming store so he took off his over shirt and was wearing a severely stained white undershirt we are talking yellow pits to the max here while talking about art I noticed that he keeps scratching his upper arm under the shirt sleeve he asks if I want to see his tattoo I say ok and when he lifts the sleeve there is a cross tattoo but his arm is covered in acne which is what he was scratching picking at we are at a tex-mex place I order another drink and he orders a meal he tells the weight of several times that he doesn't want Tomatoes meal comes and while talking he is using one of his two long fingernails to scratch the inside of his nose he proceeds to clean the underside of his nail on the stack of napkins in the center of the table so his boogies are there for all to see when I think I have enough liquid courage to run the waiter comes by and eighth guy flips on him because he found a tomato in his conch Weezer dip he proceeds to say very loudly I cannot have tomatoes dude because I have irritable bowel syndrome I wanted to die everyone was staring at us he excused himself to the bathroom shortly after in the waiter came flying over and said hey if you need to split don't worry me and the girls will cover your drinks I was so grateful but I didn't want to be mean so I waited the waiter brings the check and know after pat in his pants several times oh crap I forgot my wallet let me borrow your cell and I will call my mom and tell her to grab it off my dresser and bring it I don't think I ever paid a check fast enough in my life after a day he emailed asking when we could go out again I told him I couldn't and I didn't feel like we clicked he called me shallow lol one of the people I dated took me to her parents house for our first date wearing our listened to her dad talk for an hour about this dear that he was so inept at killing it took four bullets to finally put down it's times like those I wish I had a jet pack if you are new to the channel you can subscribe I publish new videos every day until then check another video [Music] bye for now [Music]

Channel: Updoot Everything

Views: 112,859

Rating: 4.8726244 out of 5

Keywords: dating, dating stories, dating advice, dating advice for women, dating advice for men, #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, \r, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny reddit stories, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, reddit stories 2019, people of reddit, sub, reddit cringe, memes, toadfilms, updoot everything, updoot reddit, story, stories, rslash, comedy, fresh

Id: VyZIRn5g_yE

Length: 30min 52sec (1852 seconds)

Published: Sun Jun 07 2020