Have You Ever Met The Family Of The Person You WERE Going To Marry? (r/AskReddit)

redditors who've meet the parents family of the person you intended to marry and then decided against marrying them after meeting them what happened not so much after I met her family but after she met mine she wouldn't stop being extremely possessive of me around them lots of kissing inappropriate touching then get mad when I politely asked her to stop then she lights several times we're talking being pregnant not being pregnant actually being pregnant having an abortion having cancer among others but really how meeting my family was the beginning of the end lying about having cancer Wow edit despite all the attention chemotherapy radiation is no fun at all I would have happily let someone else take it from me if they wanted literally throwing up all the time while food tastes like metal crap then radiation takes all tastes away so everything becomes disgusting so you live off food replacements just a little bit of the fun I was staying at girlfriend's parents house first morning father was out feeding animals girlfriend and her mother were getting breakfast ready I saw GF put what I thought was an artificial sweetener into her father coffee I asked if I could try one she explained to me it was not a sweetened a bitter chill pill they kept her father dosed I decided right then I was not going to be part of this family they started complaining about the NRS that hang around the park next door playing loud music and all seemed rather violent about it I don't recall a single kind word among them everything was a [ __ ] or violent complaint against something or other I got out for good when the bf started showing signs of domestic abuse edit well that's what I get for staying up way too late and posting drunk bf showed signs of being abusive yet that would do it for me too it's bad enough listening to that crap at red lights a guy friend actually convinced me to break up with my bf because of the family trends my ex's father was always away on business and his mom was a super cute bubble a teacher she would go out with her female teacher friends at night and the dad would get super jealous and have massive phone fights my ex and his sibling became super possessive of their mom and hated their dad to an unhealthy level they thought both their parents who were probably having affairs my ex was 18 and had never done a single sure in his entire life their pets crap all over the house and the mom cleaned everything even my ex's bedroom our mutual guy friend took me to lunch one day and was like seriously is this the future you want he's a cool guy but the dude is seriously a terrible bf and will be the worst husband turns out he had been cheating on me the whole time anyway with two girls that were best friends they would just switch off days they had sex with him I married him anyway but from the day I met his mom she hated me she would rave about how much she adored his brother's girlfriends but hated me I tried so hard but she hated me my husband is her favorite and she has an unhealthy attachment to him so I think it's not personal and more along the lines of no girl will ever be good enough for him in her eyes she's a B though she once faked and severe panic attack to keep her son's attention on her not me the doctors at the hospital could see right through it though and knew she was faking she called my husband the night before our wedding and told him if he married me he would be miserable for the rest of his life when we went home for Christmas she tried to hook him up with her co-worker her married son while I was right there we rescued a shelter dog and shortly after he broke a leg due to malnutrition in his neglectful home she told everyone that I didn't want to pay the vet bill and asked the vet to euthanize him she laughed at me when she learned I was depressed she told me I was being dramatic when I started crying after receiving news of my grandpa's death she tells everyone and I come from a poor family and married my husband so I wouldn't have to work I don't work right now because we just moved for his job in reality my parents are wealthier than her she tries to belittle me but it honestly doesn't bother me at all anymore I laugh when she doesn't it really pisses her off intended to marry my ex but after meeting his mom a few times I really couldn't do it she was extremely possessive of her son and never smiled when I'm with them I was the blame for her son not eating propyl I always cooked healthy food for him sleeping properly he worked 16 hours a day dressed properly i ironed his shirts for him when he was too busy to do it any blame you can think of she was also a single mom who has had two sons with two different ex-husbands and had lots oft drama with both she wanted to retire at 45 but didn't have a stable income so my ex had to give her money every month so she can retire and not work all in all I couldn't see myself dealing with the mom so I eventually broke it off before it was too late you dodged a serious bullet there hopefully he can - eventually before she consumes his life force his family was horrible to me and he treated me so poorly while we were visiting three weeks solid because they lived in another country his mother constantly called me by his exes name I have the same name as his sister how is it possible to get that confused with another name which both starts with a complete different letter and is much longer than mine his sister wouldn't actually speak to me or include me in any kind of conversation her partner was totally lovely and tried his best to include me but the times that I spent with his sister mother I was basically just the tag-along who was asked to hold the baby while they did things his dad wasn't so bad all things considered but he made snide comments about my weight which yet is her family who he'd never met lack of career aspirations while I was financially supporting his butt hole of a son who was trying to make a go of a business at a time and was just generally a terrible human being he wouldn't stick up for me or correct any of this and whenever I brought it up would basically say I was imagining it by the end of this trip we were sleeping in separate bedrooms and I broke up with him not long after for the record snide comments about your weight were completely inappropriate and Road that's never okay in any situation his mom was incredibly overbearing and controlled what he could couldn't do by constant guilt-tripping and made up stories she would drape herself on him for snuggles to the point where it was awkward I have children of my own and I don't clasp them to my chest and sigh about how wonderful they are when their friend are over and she would make slight exert me all the time what I was wearing how I looked why we were going out how much money was being spent on me we always split everything 5050 at my insistence bTW and just generally made me feed me feed me fit just took it when I brought it up he was just super passive and was like she's my mum she's just overprotective he had a sister actually who had left home but was clearly the favorite whenever she came home he was forgotten and shrugged off to the point where it was actually mean again I brought it up to him and he was all she's just excited to see her daughter his dad was a very passive albeit kind man himself who just seemed to roll with whatever his wife wanted and I guess my boyfriend learned that from him she was heading for classic mill from heck territory there was no talking my boyfriend round he battered my concerns and feelings on the matter away like there were nothing I realised that would be our marriage and I knew I couldn't live that way it obviously wasn't the only reason I split from him but it was a key issue I have no regrets when we split he very quickly started dating and then married a local girl they were divorced within two years and from what I could gather from mutual friends his mother was pivotal in the failure I have children of my own and I don't clasp them to my chest and sigh about how wonderful they are when their friends are over that's because your children aren't really that wonderful King Joffrey ceman my ex fiance's brother lived across the country and I met him at Christmas for the first time guy shows up late and immediately picks a fight with his father who then proceeds to egg him on calling him a loser and a scumbag brother goes to the guest room and does some serious bong rips and drink a bottle of vodka comes out much happier and tells me that if I am going to keep freaking his sister he better see a ring on her hand in the next two months he was intending to move back we broke up a few months later for several reasons but this did not help at all I married him anyway but as long as we're talking about dodging bullets I've got a good story about my mother-in-law when my husband and I were dating his mother spent the better part of 1.5 years trying to convince him to dump me I had done nothing to her whatsoever when I would go visit she would be nice to me in front of everyone but then switch off and completely ignore me when no one else was around fast forward to five years later we are married but mil is now Oh divorced she had an affair with and then secretly got married to a man convicted of molesting his own child she spent the better part of a year lying to us about why she wanted the divorce that she was seeing someone and then she tried to hide the man's past from us along with her secret marriage and she sees nothing wrong with her actions and thinks her new husband is totally safe we've cut her out of our lives for the safety of our children and for our own sanity my mills mill told her then future daughter-in-law not to marry her son she did it anyway after 30 plus years of emotional abuse constantly belittling her Millions income career her housework her cooking and every little thing she did she finally divorced him only after the abuse became physical one of my earliest relationships great guy we had a lot in common enjoyed each other's company etc but one day his dad passed a remark about my dad that really upset me and I couldn't respect him after that context my dad after retiring the head of a company returned to finish the law degree he'd started 30 years ago he was clearly doing it to pass his time but the exes dad says to his son my bf if you don't study now we were in college you'll end you like him and have to study in your 60s well I didn't necessarily think I was going to marry him but anyways they were a super-rich family parents still married very snobby I was a girl whose parents had been divorced for years my mom was remarried my dad had recently passed I was terrified of his family they just blatantly looked down upon someone of my kind his mom told him I was the most disrespectful girl she had ever met because I called my stepdad by his first name this wasn't me bit a friend of mine she was planning on marrying a guy but after meeting his family she decided against it the parents she loved but his brothers and cousins she couldn't stand a lot of them were extremely homophobic and his brother had a really bad cook and age problem that apparently wasn't a big deal to her boyfriend fancy at a time lah okay so this wasn't me but a friend of mine was almost going to marry her ex last year until she met his parents she came from an irreligious house salt however the guy she was seeing came from a really Christian home they had been dating for maybe like six months or so on the premise of no sex because he wanted to wait she had sex with other dudes before but she really liked the guy so she wanted to try and wait for him over the school break she was going home with him to meet his family in bear-like were a more religious and strict than what he expected did they spend the whole week being passive-aggressive about how she's had sex before in his impure they even tried to set him up on a date with another girl from his church while she was in the room she dumped him a few days after they got back anti-semitic parents who after finding out I was one stroke for Jewish called false tips on my family's business saying we were in the C business calling in false tips is illegal as they found out the hard way story time please we weren't at the Murray stage of things yet gay marriage wasn't legal back when this happened but we had been dating for over a year and were considering moving in together apparently my girlfriend had always used a gender-neutral nickname for my name anytime she talked about me to her family and she never corrected them when they said he but after a year of us dating we were finally going to have a family dinner with them she had already had dinner with my parents and they loved her and when I showed up her parents had a really sour look on their face apparently she hadn't told them that I am a girl until about two hours before the dinner was supposed to happen her parents weren't actually homophobic just severely disappointed that they wouldn't be getting grandkids girlfriend was an only child and that soured the mood off the dinner honestly I'm sure they would have come around eventually but that whole incident told me that my girlfriend wasn't ready to be out of the closet yet one of the discussions during dinner was don't tell grandma and I wasn't going to move in with someone just to be the roommate to most of the people they know I told her that I'd rather live by myself for now and she got upset and we had a fight and ended up breaking up I feel like a good part of the blame lies with your girlfriend for deceiving them even as someone who'd be okay with your relationship I'd be P if I discovered that my daughter was lying lie of omission to us for a year about her so the person I intended to marry died off cancer while we were still finishing college her family adopted me as their own in the most loving way it was really quite remarkable find you a really sweet guy who went to the same college as I did who was super religious but I didn't mind since it wasn't shoving pamphlets in-your-face religious while because he had a pretty strict religious background much stricter than normal as you'll see he couldn't date a girl until he courted her for two years essentially he had to know you for over two years regular contact in person and only interacting in groups before he could officially ask you out on a date now this was a really good guy he got his arm stuck in a vending machine for me he was good but obviously I wouldn't be telling this story here if his family were great people about a year into knowing him we were in the break room chatting about issues with a website and the entire time were talking he's glancing at the clock nervously like it's going to explode I check and it's four o'clock I'm still watching it as it turns 401 and suddenly I hear a car horn go off I think that it's just traffic until it's still going off at 4:04 I ask him what he thinks it's about and he's white as a sheet and sheepishly explains that it's his dad and he needs to go home now it was quite the eye-opener if this dude his dad was willing to lay on the horn for over five minutes during finals I can't imagine the other crap he'd do if I was ever late for anything it sucked because the Sun was just trying to spend a few extra minutes with me which was sweet but I told him that I had been doing some thinking and while we were good friends we weren't really compatible relationship wise and he handled it like a champ last month I discovered that I had dodged a bullet you see he had a brother and his brother got hit by a truck he lived but in critical care and no one in his family visited him because he stopped attending their church the fact he moved seven hours away eludes them they also refused to attend his wedding I'm very glad they're not my in-laws and I didn't pursue a relationship with someone who refused to visit their critically injured brother because of religious views they are horrible people I hate when people use I go to church as a reason they're a good person it's not a blanket reason for goodness dated this girl for two years she was cute but a little off as in she would cut herself superficially then talk about how much better she felt whatever I was 19 and if you look past that she was great she was very close to her grandfather I had met him a few times before sweet guy one day she gets the news that he's dying so we drive to see him off meeting the rest of the family this is where it gets fun her mum didn't strike me as particularly crazy at first but once I sat down to talk to her she started getting overly sappy talking about marriage but no kids kids are the worst thing that can happen to you em okay the unjust wanted to argue with everyone about everything and belittle had grown adult nieces and nephews her sister was very obviously a prostitute and almost always had some coke residue around the bottom ring of one nostril or the other she also brought a bouquet that completely filled the tiny hospital room the lady died next to Grandpa was not amused her brother offered me a slew of drugs while I was there much appreciated but calm down man and as grand parlay they're struggling to hold on to the last threads of life he got to watch his entire family fall apart mostly arguing over which all his possessions would go to her there was also some rumors of grandpa sexually molesting family members this made his bedside as well it was probably the most flicked up last days a person has ever experienced I left early because I couldn't stand it anymore too much drama over a dying man I had been contemplating how to break up with her the following few weeks after all that when she started hanging out with her manager at work and after work getting rides home with him and boning him good riddance there was also some rumors about grandpa sexually molesting family members this made his bedside as well it was probably the most flicked up last days a person has ever experienced to be fair this would explain everyone being kind of crazy and flicked up it's sad when that happens really meeting his family was one of the last straws and certainly brought up huge red flags his father was incredibly abusive to him growing up my bf was an only child that his father never wanted his dad was obsessive and needy towards his mother and basically wanted all her attention at all times and was jealous of the child they had together I could see some of these obsessive and needy tendencies in my bf and I knew he didn't want kids and I did if we had kids I was afraid he would react how his father had maybe not in an abusive way but I was still worried we ended up breaking up for other reasons but this definitely influenced it married no regrets but I will say that my in-laws haven't talked to me for over six years but regularly send home health and diet magazines to me through my husband I've gained 45 pounds 12 year marriage their passive aggressiveness I saw it before we were married I made my bed you marry their family for sure didn't notice until I broke up with him that several family members shot up red flags an overly attached sister she always wanted to be around even in some of our dates and I can do it better than you cousin who always wanted to have the upper hand but always had my boyfriend make loans for him but what really did it was one time we were at one of his niece's birthday party all of them basically circled around us and just when we marry after this he'd always bring the marriage issue up that's when it clicked I did not want to marry the guy he was being controlled by his family I ran into the parents in the grocery store I felt awkward but I didn't know what else to do so I said hi they walked right past me without a hint of acknowledgment yes back with the spoons dinner to celebrate an XOS mother's birthday I never to be mother and sister-in-law ceaselessly bombarded me with questions about a wedding I hadn't even committed to I realized that my future was being written by someone else and that that marriage was the pinnacle of their existence that's wasn't the reason it ended that it certainly contributed it's funny how some women can live vicariously through other's weddings they can be so obsessive in helping that they might think they are planning their own my ex's mum was around red haired red-faced she-beast who never spoke below a yell she also had a very unhealthy and incestuous attachements to the son I was dating I was young and dumb and stayed longer than I should have she was a huge B to me and encouraged him to abuse me but I began to question the relationship when she made him take her breath for her in front me it was a weird display of dominance massive bullet-dodger that's not a bullet that's a frickin ICBM it's not exactly the reason but it set us down that path my longtime girlfriend was a little borderline crazy little hints of it here and there but she managed to hide it I finally went home with her after we got engaged and her mom would sit in the back at a kitchen table with a little black-and-white TV playing solitaire had no friends complained constantly isolated herself and had little flashes or paranoia where the slightest thing was perceived as a major insult that would send her down day long sulk sessions she also looked kind of like my gf that did not age well and was pretty heavy I saw the future it clicked with me that this was what I was getting into that my gf harbored all these same trays both physical and mental and was working super hard to hide it all I decided that weekend I needed to break it off plot twist as I worked up the courage over the next week's she canceled the wedding because she is a lesbian plot twist I'm gay she's not sorry but the last line made me laugh thank you I'm glad you saw the issue before you married her but dang that's funny I just saw get out Frick that was a good movie he wasn't my fiance but he was my first bf in high school and my last meeting his family freaked me out so much that I swore off relationships until I graduated with a college degree context I'm an American citizen but was living in Asia for a time I started high school in one of those countries by junior year I had my first boyfriend one day he invited me and our friends to his house for his birthday I met his parents and sister at the house and while they were nice they treated me with some weird reverence everyone in town knew I was an American and knew I spoke mainly English at one point they gave me a to of their house and his folks were pressuring me to go into my boyfriend's bedroom alone with him I said no they then began to talk amongst themselves but they failed to realize that I understood their language by then turns out that they were conspiring to get me locked in the room with their son have their boy for sex on me and then have the two of us marry all this in the hopes of getting a green card for their kid than a ticket to migrate to America apparently my American citizenship was all they saw of me I was only 15 at the time I went from being that teenager anticipating her first kiss to breaking up with him the next Monday at school I didn't even know if that's how one gets a green card but just knowing his parents were willing to ruin my life like that nope not having it bled and they didn't think much of your parents either if they assumed your parents would force you to marry someone who raped you this thread has made me realize how much I love my parents and how normal they are was in a very serious relationship with a guy whose parents I didn't really like that had no serious flaws first sign was that they were slightly homophobic I have a lot of LGBTQ friends so this was concerning for me I thought it was something I could deal with but then when we were like three years in his father got charged for molesting some kids and everyone freaking stood up for him I work with a lot of children who've been sexually abused and parents who've gone though the process of charging them it's not fun and it usually takes a lot of convincing to get parents to do it I really think he did it he's creepy there's a long list of questionable characteristic hobbies that led me to think he would in the situation itself seemed fishy my ex turn up for his father and flipped when I suggested that he may have did it even though I'm convinced it all settled and they assumed he was obviously innocent I have experience with this they all frickin walk when they don't walk it's like finding a 4 leaf clover I couldn't be part of or even associated with that family we were done my ex was also a little bee but that's another story I want to hear the other story I was engaged to a girl and I already knew her family didn't know them too well but saw them frequently things turned sour when her mother had to stay with us for a few days with no exaggeration her mother wailed like a freakin burn victim in her sleep the rooms were divided by a plywood closet so I got it full volume no explanation step two of the ladder to relationship disaster happened when the two of them had almost identical mental breakdowns within a week this family had some major mental health problems but I overlooked most of it because I was in love with this girl it made me realize that I could never deal with her mother in a relationship and the very real possibility of her growing up just like her mum killed it for me it was hard but I had to let her go because I just knew I didn't have what it took to handle that level of crazy when the honeymoon was over well I intended to marry I mean the first serious girlfriend I had as a 16 stroke seventeen-year-old so was kind of done to think that but anyway she was 18 stroke 19 while we dated so I had started to think about marriage when we were both of age she was a little rough around the edges but man when I met her family they were the definition of white trash smoke-filled house with beer bottles everywhere parents that were both early forties but looked mid-60s older sister that had a baby that she didn't know who the father was younger brother nice enough to me had pending assault charges and once bought a jar of piaff me to pass a drug test other brother was in jail for killing someone while driving drunk every other word out of any of their mouths was a cuss word six kids including my girlfriend and not one of them had a high school diploma and the two that was still school-aged had dropped out I realized that despite being poor this was not a family I wanted to be a part of I kept dating her a few more months after meeting them but when I broke it off family was the reason which I actually did tell her and I guess the last thing that really frustrated me was that she paid rent was 18 I had a full-time job and they still treated her like a child with rules such as curfew limited phone time etc edit while I would say her family was a huge part of us breaking up it was not the only thing but I couldn't actually say for 100% that we wouldn't have stayed if her family wasn't an issue when I met his mom she was great I had no issues with her but while we were there he was so rude to her he kept cutting her off talking over her and raising his voice at her if he could treat his nice mother so rudely I knew he'd eventually treat me the same way on top of that his dad wasn't a serial monogamy he was married three times and had three kids with each wife and was currently looking for a fourth when we were dating his father's oldest child was 36 and his youngest was 4 I was worried my ex-fiance would turn into his father could not stand how the siblings and him treated their mom got on their nerves sometimes she was being annoying but mostly just in the way that moms can be concerned about things were just trying to converse their tone and face made it obvious whenever they were annoyed and I did not want that passed on to any future kids I felt sorry for her my parents would forced but my father still would not have allowed us to be hurtful and rude to my mom I cut ties with my ex when I found out she cheated on me I later found out through the one friend of hers that still spoke to me though she ostracized me too for fear of losing her friendship with my ex that she'd been flicking the same guy who was like her brother for longer than we'd been dating it's strange because depending on how you look at it I was the guy she was cheating on him with in hindsight there were signs she didn't respond to sex the way I would have expected her to and anytime he was brought up the subject was changed pretty quickly all of that is another story her parents were pretty great her mom was an adorable middle-aged woman holding on to her youth and had the cooking skill and desire to make sure everyone knows it one expects of the Croatian immigrant before the unfamiliar it's like Greek and Italian food had a love-hate aisles her dad was her adoptive dad he was basically mr. bean he made crappy dad puns and watched Croatia's Got Talent on his laptop they understandably sided with their daughter it was a real shame because they were are an amazing family I always felt welcome with them and I was looking forward to having them as in-laws after the first sentence I thought you were going to say that she cheated on you with her dad my ex and I talked about marriage a lot and I ended it with him but his mother was more obsessed with him than I think anyone could be the vibe was creepy and she always reminded him of his ex-fiancee I am not kidding I thought she might have wanted him okay so I wasn't even going to marry the girl we had just started dating but her family like to get together every couple of months and smoke crack they even invited me to their next crack night when I first met them that along with multiple other things made me get the freak out of that fast edit more info it wasn't marriage but my ex g F had a father that was the worst I'm 24 so this was probably about four or five years ago every time I would go to their house he would constantly make homophobic or racist remarks he would constantly be drunk his drug dealer that sold him pills would stop by there house regularly and everyone pretended that it wasn't happening when I was in high school dating her she ended up falling asleep at my house and he showed up a 3-4 in the morning drunk saying she needed to get up my parents understood I guess because they didn't know he was a drunk and just thought he was being a protective father he then went on to murder my exs mother and tried to kill himself he was just a general piece of crap and his daughter was literally one of the nicest people I've ever met like the holy crap you're too nice I can't handle this type of nice I think you may have buried the lead there I loved her with all my being her father was a successful businessman and self-confessed narcissist I tried to include him and venue selection and he threw adult Tantrums at each venue and told me he would not allow us to get married unless we did so on his terms my fiance wanted a surprise wedding at our engagement party which happened to be at their house I tried to support this idea though I knew the red flags were there the day before we told him our intentions he yelled at us for an hour and told me how disappointed he was in us both and how he wouldn't let us do it because there were people he wanted to invite that were there the whole event triggered my anxiety and six months later after couples counseling our relationship fell apart it was one of the contributing factors but yeah the biggest reason I'm glad I'm no longer with this girl was her heart the other mother I've written about this GFO mom before but I'll condense it a little her mom couldn't handle that affect her beautiful feminine daughter was a lesbian she hated me for not being male Jewish rich or an Ivy League grad the fact her daughter was happier with me then she'd ever been in her life didn't matter she emotionally abused her and would use my gf so seedy to manipulate her into not seeing me you're driving that late with Leo aren't you worried you might get carjacked she would grill her about our sex life and judging from things she'd said I'm convinced this woman hasn't had sex since my gf was conceived she forced me to submit to an STD test remember gf has OCD so she'd convinced her I must be diseased so to stop gf from panicking I had to she also treated my GF like a child literally telling her you are not an adult and forcing her to live in a bedroom that was decorated for an infant she threatened to call the cops and say I'd kidnapped her if she spent the night with me adding to the creepiness is that she would talk to me as if I was her daughter's babba sitter or caretaker this would include telling me she needed to be home earlier so she could get enough sleep ultimately I would say that she was the end of our relationship because she more or less pushed encouraged my gf into another mental breakdown so she would leave college she ended up institutionalized for about six months in two different fancy hospitals hundreds thousands of miles away from me but she would sadly never have been a fully functional adult with her mom around so I'm glad I don't have to deal with that crap anymore she forced me to submit to an STD test remember G F has OCD so she'd convinced her I must be diseased so to stop gf from panicking I had to do it that's crossing so many fricking lines if you are new to the channel you can subscribe I publish new videos every day until then check another video [Music] bye for now [Music]

Channel: Updoot Studios

Views: 317,015

Rating: 4.8721743 out of 5

Keywords: parents, parents stories, parenting, parenting tips, parenting styles, parenting fails, parenting 101, not marry, declined, #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, \r, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, sub, reddit cringe, memes, comment awards, dankify, toadfilms, updoot everything, updoot reddit, chill, story, stories, reddit on tap

Id: lXRNVzo8rbQ

Length: 34min 23sec (2063 seconds)

Published: Wed May 20 2020