What’s The Worst Date You’ve Ever Been On, Story? (r/AskReddit | Reddit Stories)

i was on a date with a girl that revealed that she was a satanist and i'm pretty sure she had sacrificed a goat what's the worst date you have ever been on reddit i once went on a date with a jehovah's witness drug dealer in my defense i didn't know she was a jehovah's witness at the time and to be fair i didn't know she was a drug dealer either my dad's story he had been set up on a blind date by his friend as he picked up his date he noticed she was carrying a strange bag not a purse or anything normally brought on a date but a garbage bag with stuff in it he kind of shrugged it off and they got in the car and started driving during the car ride though he began to notice what was contained within those bags two baby dolls with blood smeared on them he asked her why she had brought two dolls and she just nonchalantly responded they're my children my dad instantly felt that this girl had some problem with her so he stopped at a gas station and asked her to go inside to get him cigarettes he immediately drove off abandoning her at the station with her two bloody dolls when he talked again with his friend who had set up the date his friend was like oh yay i forgot to mention she had two abortions in the past two years so now she carries around those dolls and claims they're her children i thought it was no big deal tl dr my dad went on a date and proceeded to ditch some crazy age who carried two dolls around which symbolized her two aborted fetuses this reads an awful lot like a sheltered kids meeting a satanist fan fiction if it was a satanic sacrifice they would have not eaten it i have hispanics in my neighborhood that raise goats for meat they goats are pretty cheap and eat almost anything edit grammar you should have given trinity more of a chance you never know you could have been the one my first attempt at online dating lead me to what was a strange courtship when we finally met up one night she told me she had fantasies about me raping her and do doing on her chest i hope she has found a life mate that guy needs to be off the streets i invited a nice looking boy to my house to meet my parents i was pretty serious he was a very nice guy as he was really nice to my soft and the head younger brother people usually don't even give him the time of day but i knew this particular person was a nice person because he seemed particularly aware of my brother i live in a remote part of the woods as my family is very poor and they are rather religious people trading commodity for scenery so i brought him up to my room thinking we would probably get it on but he was rather shy and kept looking at all the walls in my room which was odd since there really wasn't anything in them my mother invited him to dinner but he declined even though we brought out our best goat he seemed reluctant to partake anyway what was really awkward was when we dropped him off to the bus stop and he said kept giving me glances so i knew he was into me but once on the bus he said you will never see me again i found that to be very awkward as i have been remotely watching over him by ritual and still do in fact from time to time tl doctor invited a stranger to my home invited him to dinner expected to get laid but he left on a sour note without any explanation so i tried getting on okcupid to find a girlfriend because i had just gotten out of a bad relationship my first mistake found a few girls that were a good level of hot and interesting so often the girls that i would get along with are trolls while we start chatting on okc for a while talking about all sorts of things he seemed a little self-absorbed but i figured maybe she's just nervous so i finally bring up meeting she's only about 20 minutes away so she agrees i go pick her up and she's actually pretty good looking usually girls try to play angles on those sites great plus side she has a pretty itching irish accent so we go out i take her out to this medium fancy restaurant think olive garden but not a chain and that's when things went a bit sour she starts talking about how she came over from ireland and that's all well and good but then she starts saying she'll get sent home if she doesn't marry someone soon i start to panic i just wanted to get my d wet i just sort of laugh it off nervously while we get to the end of dinner and i'm ready to hightail it out of there and i pull out my wallet she pulls out hers and says she'll get the bill but she says i can get the tip i asked her how much i owed and she looked at me and said i need about 350. now it was about that time that i noticed my date was eight stories tall and was a crustacean from the protozoa era i said damn it monster leave emmy alone goat is a very common meat bra it's the only meat that isn't ostracized by any one specific religion but the dad did know you were coming that's why the little brother was there he was pretty sketched that his daughter was meeting some stranger from online and decided that if anything happened the little brother could peddle fast back home in time for daddy to grab the gun hence why he was in the door a number of years ago i met this german girl at the bar i bounced at she was kinda cute hella smart and knew more about music than almost anyone i've ever met she says that we should hang out sometime so i mention this jazz bar that has an amazing open mic night on my night off she says yes and we make plans we meet at the appropriate time at another open mic night at another place but she barely talks to me the entire time neither of us drive so we jump a bus to a nearby restaurant to eat then she mentions a piano bar so we jump a cab over there all this time she is talking about her roommate and how she is worried that he doesn't have health insurance that's just a little strange until she talks about how she was discussing that situation with his mother warning bell kicks on hardcore turns out that her roommate is actually her fiance and she believes that she is pregnant by him she hadn't been to the doctor but a woman knows these things so we get to the jazz bar and i get drunk off my ass because i know this isn't going anywhere the music as always is great but since we're both bussing we have a different problem the buses have stopped running so she ends up calling her fiance to pick us up as fate would have it i have a good friend who lives pretty close to them so i get to ride back to their place and then i walk over to my friends and sleep it off until the buses are running again tl dr dinner twenty dollars drinks twenty dollars cabs fifteen dollars finding out your date is engaged and pregnant priceless my friend in college set me up with this nice young woman because he thought we had something in common and would hit it off our entire conversation that night at dinner went something like this me so how did you meet john school me did you have a class together or did you live in the same building or something else same apartment me i see so what do you do when you're not in class or studying television music me did you want to do something tonight besides eat and talk no after the date i asked john what made him think that she would be a good match for me well you're japanese american and she's japanese exchange student so i naturally thought you two would get along and number 3232 and number 3232 my worst date was with a girl who thought that islam was a country that she wanted to go to her head was so full of air that when we left the restaurant and she invited me back to hers i started to make excuses why i couldn't stay she was so persistent that in the end i lied that i was a christian and basically said that i thought that it would be inappropriate to go back to hers tl dr went on date with stupid girl and said i was a christian to avoid sex this weekend actually got invited to a party as a second date girl met me at the door and walked me to where the band was playing she then walked away with some guy i didn't see her for a good hour before i decided to leave turns out he had some coke and she ducked him to score some guess he did me a favor edit i hard time words use my bad dates are quite legendary among my friends here's a little taste i went out with this one guy and it seemed to be going all right nothing really screamed crazy we went bowling first shhh i love it then went out for dinner during dinner he starts talking about his sister's stag and oh that had been the weekend before it was a pig roast long story short the guy who was supposed to cook the pig couldn't so this guy stepped in to help his sister out after the pig roast him and some friends went back to clean up which meant getting rid of the pig he then began describing to me in vivid detail how they had ripped the pig's carcass apart pulled its spine out ripped its face off and wore it like a mask i'm sitting there absolutely horrified i'm a huge animal lover i repeatedly told him to stop but he was laughing and thought i was joking he then pulled out his phone and wanted to show me pictures i actually had to raise my voice for him to realize i seriously didn't want to see pictures of him and his friends wearing a dead pig's face like a mask over dinner we did not go out a second time then there was the vehicular manslaughter guy i signed up for internet access way back in 1995 when i was going to college and asked some guy to install a way to chat and meet people in the area on my computer i was newish to computers at the time he installed an egg client and i found a girl who sounded great blonde hair blue eyes 5 feet 6 and goes to the school i went to even the coffee shop i stopped at on my way to classes we chatted for a few days until we decided to finally meet fast forward a couple of days at her at 11am at the coffee shop and she had fangs literally dart her canine teeth had implants and were filed down as fangs she said she was a vampire and she thought we spoke about that during one of our conversations no no we didn't no joke i logged off a vike disconnected my internet service and didn't sign up again for another three years i had a great date i met on match.com and i was walking her home at the end of the night and suddenly she started to run away i started to chase after her and asked her what happened and she just said police i have a warrant out for me well when i found out she had a warrant i kept running but a different direction than she went i eventually got caught by the cops and i had to spend a good 20 minutes explaining to them the situation and how i was in no way involved in her crack sugar dealing ring not my story but my wife's full stop she was dating me at the time and i'm asian her aunt set her up on a date with a good southern white baptist boy was apparently a lot better than me she goes because she didn't realize it was supposed to be a date they went to a halloween event at a theme park when my wife arrived she was shocked to find out that she was actually on a date but couldn't leave because he was her right turns out the good ole boy was more of a man and by a man i mean 15 years her senior she was around 19 at the time he was also an ex-con and a coke dealer user all this was better than me of course my wife spent the entire night not just being terrified of the haunted houses and actors in costume and makeup but being even more afraid of the dude who wouldn't let go of her hand even though she kept insisting she had a boyfriend the night ends with the dude's parents picking them up he wasn't allowed a driver's license because of something having to do with his drug probation and him trying to make up with her in the car my wife moved out of her aunt's house within days moved to my city instead we had been a couple of hours apart and we've lived happily ever after tl dr wife was set up on blind date with a former coke head okay here's the short version of my worst date met a girl on a dating site seems to be the how most of these stories start ay on our first date she invited me to her house the house was pretty disgusting dirty and plenty of trash around she was remodeling her kitchen so i gave her a pass on it next get together was at my house i think it was our third date but maybe second anyway short story shorter we get intimate and i quickly became aware she had not bathed she was funky not like sticky sweet feminine funky but like b.o funky also the garden was completely unkempt now i'm a child of the 80s so a little garden is fine by me but seriously shave your stomach and in a fight for pete's sake the next day i get a frantic phone call i have bugs she said bugs i replied what kind of bugs lies she replied lies like upstairs or downstairs i asked up she said i'm outside your house right now and i brought supplies so she comes in with red trash bags cleaning supplies and four new pillows she proceeded to bag everything she thought she came in contact with throws out my pillows and leaves me with a bottle of red fortunately i never got lice i still keep the red under my sink as a reminder to be more careful in the future i never saw or heard from her again and that was fine by me tl dr lice freaking lice 5 30 we meet at 50s diner next to my work 5 35 she orders a milkshake 5 37 she asks me about jesus in my life 5 39 maybe you need to read the ducking bible 542 if gandhi did not accept the lord jesus christ as our one and only savior then he is burning in hell and so will you but the lord can still save you 5 44 i put 10 on the table and simply walked out of the door what are you just going to leave me here mine was the date with this person who spent the entire day telling me while we were in a crowded mexican restaurant first how much he hated his wife but wouldn't divorce her because he hated her so much that he didn't want her to have anything he had followed by the detailed story of her suicide a couple years ago i met a guy on my senior class boat cruise it's like a semi-formal prom on a boat he was from another school as our senior class was sharing the boat with a few other local schools he was nice smart tall and generally attractive we talked for a while and then exchanged numbers in a couple weeks we agreed to meet up i had to drive 45 minutes to his house because his parents wouldn't let him drive a car when i arrived he had shaved his head and was much thinner than i remembered i'm not fat but i prefer my men bigger than me and this kid was really scrawny after several awkward hours watching movies i asked if he wanted to get something to eat the only place he wanted to go was mcdonald's when we got there he had forgotten his wallet and i had to pay we ate in awkward silence and then i drove us back to his house when we got there i figured he could redeem himself by being talented in bed i made the first move and leaned in to kiss him and within less than a minute of making out he had managed to take off every item of clothing he had on even his socks meanwhile i am still fully dressed and really creeped out i grabbed my phone and pretended to read a text from a friend who needed my help and i immediately left he never paid me back for the mcdonald's tl dr i had to drive an awkward kid too and pay for mcdonald's worst date i've ever been on the satanic bible staunchly prohibits harming animals except for food or if you are attacked in college at the beginning of freshman year me and a friend took a couple girls out to some parties these girls seemed to be really into us and we were getting hammered so things looked great at one point we're passing around a bottle of vodka taking swigs after i don't know the sixth or seventh swig in about five minutes i projectile vomit on both the women before anyone really knows what happened they turn around b-line it for the door and walk back to the other side of campus without my shirt on i had to take it off cause it was covered in puke a lot of people taunted me on the way about it when i got back me and my roommate played guitar hero for a bit and then i passed out good times fourth and stop ducking it's time for dinner i think i will announce all dinners like this i went on a date once with a guy who intended to study mortuary science he asked me how i'd feel about taking a cold bath before a six and then staying very still throughout i couldn't get out of that car fast enough my date told me her plan to poison her boss i heard her out part expecting her just kidding at the end of her twisted story there was no just kidding met up with a girl from a cupid then in approximately this order discovered she was one larger than she appeared in her pictures too polyamorous this one ain't so bad i suppose but in the context of the others four a foot fetish to matrix on craigslist who also responds to missed connections posts just to troll people 5. homeless i ended up buying her some cheap chinese grub and dropping her off at her friend's house to stay at and on the way there we almost managed to bond over video games and mind altering substances almost out on a first date we are talking about mutual friends neighbors family etc and lots of the names are familiar long story short i discovered that she was my second cousin yay rural kentucky i posted this before here is my story and on a blind date with a girl who claimed she had lost 100 pounds i found it it was in her ass i decided not to judge and just have a good time i am a large person myself after about 30 minutes of dancing and drinks at her favorite club i was getting lots of dirty looks from a club rat in a white suite her friends kept saying things on the order of i'm glad you two are together you two deserve a good relationship and you are so much nicer than her last boyfriend i asked the last friend to point him out of course it's white suit danny tario over there i realized i was being used to make this pose jealous i looked my date straight and the iron said i'll see you sometime i have to take her it i then walked out the door and never saw her again i would love to live in a forest worshiping satan at my leisure and ingesting vast quantities of goat also trinity is a babe i was on a second date with a guy i met on the internet boring guy fast car he decides to evade the police while driving 120 miles per hour on the highway takes an exit and i end up in an upside down 350z which had rolled over at 90 miles per hour into a stone wall and a telephone pole over a year of physical therapy minor nerve damage will never internet date again more than i got tricked into one date not entirely true of course as you said you'd be open to anyone who wanted to meet up with you girl broke down and started crying in the restaurant because she abortion she secretly got when she was younger was something she always regretted all i asked her was how her day was going on date sitting at bar and my date informs me that she was a witch and that she had made her last boyfriend love her by casting a spell on him she was even nice enough to tell me how the spell works she took a vial of her period blood and poured it into his wine and tricked him into drinking it now he's mine forever she told me she went on to say that it turned out she didn't really love him but because of her spell he would love her forever she claimed he was still desperately in love with her even though she had dumped him she was a withered rich the worst date is the one where she doesn't even show up a guy asked me to go to a concert with him when i got to the venue he also brought his girlfriend with him i never replied to his messages ever since i already detailed mine here it is the crazy story of being kidnapped and molested by a blind date i was out to lunch with a co-worker and his girlfriend and she needed to know why i was single she likes to play matchmaker a lot and she just had to set me up oh how prophetic so i got this girl's number and on day one we have pleasant exchange of information via cell phone text only day two she started texting me a lot more this girl decides that we need to take turns asking each other anything goes questions responding honestly and then returning a different question okay this is bearable and not that weird so this goes on literally like all day from like 3 p.m until midnight or 1am anytime i start taking too long in between texts messages she texts me random song lyrics from wildly different genres day 3 i am busy with work most of the day and i don't text her until like 9 00 pm at night and she's being a little moody expressing her concern about why we weren't texting 200 times again today day 4 is date night i agree to meet her at buffalo wild wings she chooses the time i agree we state that we will meet and whoever gets there first will get a table 7 45 p.m is our indes vows time i'm early for everything but i held myself off and waited until about 7 50 to walk in hopefully she had us a spot nope are there yet no big deal i get a table have a nice chat with the cute waitress 10 15 minutes goes by and i get a text that she is running late yeah know it i tell her where i am sitting i order a beer to pass the time 25 minutes have gone still nothing i order some potato wedges and another beer and text her again she's on the way i decide internally that when my beer is done i pay and leave unfortunately the potato wedges and the football on tv slow me down in 45 minutes have gone by and i am just about to find the waitress and pay up i turn my head and there is my date i was shown a picture of this girl prior to accepting the blind date shallow of me not really but i was shown so it turns out the photo i saw was probably 3-5 years old before me is a girl who is easily 80 pounds heavier than her photo has bright red hair clearly not natural and a wonderful powder blue sweater on to compliment her pasty white skin we greet and say hey and she tells me a little bit more about herself and over the next 10 20 minutes she takes me on a magical voyage of vapid unrestrained blathering she is one of those people who constantly makes comments about how she is just so quirky and how witty and clever she is and she does these weird sideways smiles and strange looks after every sentence because hey she's just so quirky right eventually dinner happens and she takes like 35 minutes to eat like six ducking boneless wings after she finishes i make every effort possible to alert our waitress i am ready this girl was great she cheated on me right away and knew i was patiently waiting and looked like i was being stood up and was very diligent about coming by and exchanging a quick chat with me while i nursed my beers i grabbed her got the bill tipped well and left i just got it all on one bill and paid for this blind date i told her you can pay when you take me out next week with the most fake smile anyone has ever mustered after my blind date finally left and went back to her beta geo metro i handed the ticket to my waitress she took out the customer copy receipt and wrote her number on the back and handed it to me i gave an admittedly confused look i was with you for the whole thing and that was brutal you're a saint let me take you out and redeem womankind any man who would wait for someone like that for 45 minutes is at least worth that in with a 1.5 years strong a few years ago i decided to try online dating probably because i was a little bored i found it quite annoying so i quit the same day but not before getting my hands on some girl phone number we flirted on the phone for a while and decided to meet the next day to be perfectly honest there were already some red flags but she was still on the right side of the vicky mendoza diagonal so d-day i went pick her up at her place i rang the bell and a really hot blonde got out the pictures i saw were blurry so i was more than pleasantly surprised anyway it was around 4 p.m so we decided to go grab some coffee downtown and as we go down the streets she starts making racist comments that made me incomfortable but my d really wanted to get to know her better so i ignored it we find a nice bar find a table outside and she started talking about her life usually i wouldn't have a problem with that but she never stopped talking about herself about how her parents are really rich that her classmates are riches who are jealous of her and so many things i barely got to say a few words i wanted to leave but she was really hot and gave away some hints i might get lucky that night so i ignored the red flags we left the bar and we wandered in the city for a while the discussion drifted and she started talking about how the holocaust didn't happen any other time or situation i would have called her an idiot left and deleted her number hell i wanted to but no i shut up because six beats everything including holocaust deniers i already gave up a few hours of my time listening to all her crap i wasn't going to let that stop me the night was beginning so i bring her back to her place on the way she told me she got a party planned there and that she wanted me to come that wasn't part of the plan the plan was simple i didn't want to meet her friends but hell i didn't want all that time wasted for nothing so i said okay back at her place he drank some rum make out a little and the guest started coming six or seven of her friends ended up in her apartment they looked a lot like a gang of bikers but thanks to all the alcohol i drank i didn't gave a duck and then all of a sudden it hits me i saw some tattoo on a guy it was a ducking swastika i was at a ducking neo-nazi party i didn't know what to do so i ended up drinking for a while listening to them making jokes about muslims and when it seemed appropriate i got the hell out of there as fast as i could the next weekend i received a text from the neo-nazi girl saying that she liked me and wanted me to come over for some alone time i did i had six and then when she was sleeping i disappeared into the night never to be seen again by her and her neo-nazi friends she sent me a lot of texts after that threatening me to send her friends to beat me up tl doctor i had a date with a hot racist girl i ended up at a neo-nazi party and i made it out of there alive let me put your mind at ease if they were eating the goat then it was not a sacrifice the whole point of sacrifice is to give up something of value you raise goats too among other things kill and eat so if they ate it they weren't giving up anything not a sacrifice i hope this helps you cope i don't know if this counts as a full date but here's what happened if you recognize this i've told it before was set up on a blind date with this guy handsome polite a gentleman with great manners and a slight southern accent held the door for me and got me flowers which i don't demand but considered a very nice gesture we are seated at a lovely restaurant and we order we're talking about school and our future careers when a very cute gay couple is seated beside us my date sneers and tells me he'll get us re-seated adding ducking [ __ ] not so under his breath i stood up said don't call me and left the restaurant i only wish i had dumped a drink on him or something and have done so in my head many times since luckily i knew there was a subway to get me home the friend that had set us up had no idea he was such a d and nobody i know talks to him anymore edit a few people are criticizing me just wanted to say i didn't throw a drink on him and likely wouldn't do that in real life but it was a fantasy because i was rather incensed also i really did consider bigotry in adults to be a character flaw but since some people think it's not a big deal i'm b and i date women about as often as i date men so that's not something i could overlook though i doubt i'd try to overlook if i was straight you

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Id: G312tx0We7M

Length: 30min 16sec (1816 seconds)

Published: Sat Aug 29 2020