Foodfight! - JonTron

[Music] jumptron like glass stain forever red it's the mind that won't let go but how do you forget a face especially one like that i can't forget that was louder than i was expecting i'm out of here [Applause] oh my god sir this is amazing how long have you had this 1 million a year i'll take it what is this movie dying's full i am on a drug it's called charlie cheney oh no no no i know what this is i thought they canned this thing over a decade ago well said tight ladies and gentlemen because we're about to have ourselves a food fight this self-faded film was the brainchild of larry kassanov it came out in the year 2012 and it features an all-star cast including charlie sheen wayne brady hilary duff eva longoria and even christopher lloyd there's only one catch here the film was supposed to come out in 2003 in late 2002 all the film's files were reportedly stolen in what was quoted an act of industrial espionage an entire movie right down the drain at this point some people would give up they'd say that's the breaking point we tried team good job round up next week but not larry kassanov he was not one to accept defeat willingly the next 10 years of this film's production cycle are shrouded in mystery but one thing is known they spent all of it trying to bring this film back to life like some sort of proverbial frankenstein's monster perhaps it was because it just meant so much to them or perhaps it was because they believed in it with hearts and minds or maybe it had something to do with them sinking 65 million dollars into it ladies and gentlemen of planet earth you can't make this up i introduce you to food fight the worst animated film of all time this movie takes place in your average american supermarket dubbed market tropolis market oh off to a good start already just closing up nothing much happens around here after dark now that is exactly what someone would say if something much does happen around here after dark and much it does happen after dark the supermarket transforms into a city i'm pretty sure that's what happens well you got a better answer the first shot of this movie is just an unbroken constant barrage of information it's introducing all these characters but none of them do or say anything significant what's this who's this why is this happening up he's gone was that our main character i guess he doesn't want to be here either maybe the main character is this terrifying dancing elephant or this king frog or maybe it's his farts or maybe is that mr clean did mr clean just show up in my movie okay let me get this straight we are two minutes and 39 seconds into this movie we haven't even seen the definitive main character yet and mr clean has already rolled up to the party and they spent the joke about him getting dirty all right how do i turn this off sweet release [Music] so here we finally meet our main character dex dog detective voiced by charlie sheen fat cat burglar i'm giving you one last chance to hand him over before i cash in your coupons for you it's so good to hear that voice coming out of that dog it is you the great dexter detective who's about to take a fall if i had a reason for every time i've heard that one honeybee flower mouse jeez dog raisins i don't see anything wrong with that dex is a crime fighter putting a roof on all the local acts of skullduggery and mischief here we see him working to thwart a cat napping it's just you and me fat cat now fork over the little guys and no one gets hurt i'm gonna kill you wow we're just gonna go right there is that so wrong how do we even broach this son of a is falling out of the sky like a goddamn sarcophagus light as a feather stiff as a board and he sticks the landing that's the only 10 this movie's getting no worries you can do it as long as you got me to help you did i mention me here we meet texas best friend daredevil dan a chocolate squirrel whose main character traits are broken motion capture and making wayne brady seem like he's not an actor relax bro we're talking about sunshine goodness you could give her a cracker jack ring and she'd still say yes what did they film this movie on microsoft connect [Music] [Applause] eventually we're introduced to the fact that dex is dating this furry chick over here voiced by hilary duff and he's about to ask her to marry him so i just want to point out that this magical melon ball exists on the top layer of this reality at all times well that's some good sweatshop cgi there oh god there's something so unsettling about her character i feel like i have to try to avoid her line of sight to be comfortable although it doesn't seem like that's gonna be too hard so here's a little something i had to figure out for myself about this movie that is essential to understanding the central concepts in this film it is never directly referred to at all not even once you see the characters all refer to themselves as ikes because they are all in their own words icons of a brand of grocery store product which i guess would explain mr clean from earlier i don't know maybe it's a coincidence who knows from now on i'm going to go by jet i'm not going to tell you why she's figured out dick so before dex can pop the question sunshine beats a total and walks off into the sunset even though it's completely obvious that he's about to pop the question don't worry it ain't like it's the last time you're ever gonna see sunshine again that's the last time we're seeing sunshine isn't it [Music] [Applause] may i help you you must be you know i'd make a comment here but i'm genuinely worried he might actually have a disability and then who looks like the bad guy i mean okay this guy's still a little bit because he's a bad guy in the movie but that mostly me mostly john no one wastes me chips and gets away with it brand x will pay so wait the chips can also see and talk when we're in the supermarket reality when does the city reality become the supermarket reality is there a divide here when is the transition from them walking around and being a bag of chips on the shelf is this like toy story rules or is this like like the fountain rules there's no rules oh god help us i think this is fountain rules it's been six months since sunshine's disappearance and we find dex moping in his office because he's an and lost his girlfriend dan tries to cheer him up with some good old-fashioned practicality you got a club to run and you can bet the copa banana is gonna be his mouth doesn't even sync up they didn't even try there what's he doing with his legs look at his legs why are they constantly moving around like that it's like if fdr came back to life and tried to show everyone what legs do i with you well of course i can provide you with a backstage pass to the koba banana let him go cheese thanks for the pleasant surprise is that a poop bread is that a poop bread why what is it am i threatening you you threatening me who's the threat here you despise me don't you bad touch bad touch stranger danger so after a series of orwellian horrors we arrive at the copa banana the talk of the town club the dex runs oh yeah and tits on a bird too as well also shot close your eyes it's inappropriate you monster let me see those melons now that's some dancing that's going to get you late let me tell you about it if eating too many raisins or is that it's at the california raisins is that charlie the sun-kissed tuna mrs buttersworth well wait mr clean is back this movie's just a giant product placement isn't it wait a second even on the front cover the main characters are taking a back seat to the product placement oh my god this is despicable is the only reason they finished this movie because they had the rights to all these identifiable brand names was it for the payout who would do something like that despicable now if you'll excuse me i need to blow off some steam with my hot or not app where you can rate your friends match up and even chat peanut butter gamer is he hot or not yeah that's hot jacques baby has dinosaur bones i don't know about that they've been on the ground for a while not surely no one actually believed in this heaping molten mess did they we gotta move it's not even really for kids it's weirdly sexual and inappropriate in places it shouldn't even be i'm looking for a guy about your height it warms my heart the way you love my raisins tough guy even the chiquita banana woman makes a passing comment about her boob milk do i look like the dairy queen to you well that's just sick lady what don't bring that up here there's kids in the audience hell i'm an adult in the audience and i'm offended don't bring that trash here oh mama look at this vixen here voiced by eva longoria whose dashing looks cause a stir in the club we got one we got one ladies and [Music] gentlemen finally free what year is it well it's 2014 who are you though i've been trying to finish this movie for decades you made it past the 20 minute mark i can never get past the part where the squirrel sits out of his eyes mr queen mr glee quick hide he'll be coming for us [Music] oh god it's him it's him now that's what he does he raises your level of cleanliness to impossible levels of upkeep but add a split let's blow this popsicle stand kumquats i don't know whatever [Music] well that just sort of happened to me i mean i didn't even participate in that it was cool though i don't know i don't even know what's happening in the film at this point oh what is going on how am i supposed to react to any of this so as the story goes on and by story going on i mean becoming a fever dream a line of evil products called brand x are setting up shop in market tropolis market in an attempt to push out all the other ikes from the supermarket bad things start to happen around town including the deaths of some of the company mascots themselves realizing his town needs help dex finally snaps out of his depression and decides to look into things further nice don't got it [Music] over being filthy can be loads of fun don't you think so ducks there are some stains you can never wash out for god's sakes work on your aim i want to know how you rubbed out all those hikes last night i want to know how you managed to raise 65 million dollars with this script what a surprise we find out eva's character has been running with the brand x boys the whole time and all she wants is dex to join her in her evil plot for supermarket domination also she's a nazis and a star wars what the they're building an entire army of robotic exo bites what the hell is an exo bite the lore is rich in this world let me tell you they expect you to know the source material going in alright study up it's a matter of respect so now it seems they've crossed from their supermarket world to the real world i guess they could just mix and match this at will like i said as fear and loathing rules there's no rules come on what is it today black friday oh oh god oh god real world's horrible go back to the supermarket world list me i've made a huge mistake supermarket world's just as bad so we're like halfway through this movie i don't even understand how there's another half by the way and the confused writers are still throwing new characters at us out of the blue such as this bat pervert who has the hearts for chocolate people is that the enticing scent of rich creamy chocolate are you chocolate are you made of chocolate really so we're gonna fast forward a bit here there are plenty of twists and turns let me tell you but we eventually end up at the climactic showdown between the brandex guys and the ikes and what it ends up being is a 35 minute long actual seriously 35 minute long sequence of a grand scale war between brandex and the ikes [Music] literally this just goes on and on and on and on it's just the same shot over and over and over of people falling over and over and over but enough about me let's kill you they won't hit her not now not never but i [Music] oh i see so the hot girl was actually ugly all along not just inside but outside too well that's a relief because now there's absolutely no hang-ups about hating her let's celebrate yeah ugly people never win that's the moral of the story guys [Music] i guess some things you just never forget some scars never heal i don't even like you when i take time to put you in a goddamn luck it's i'm getting out of here [Music] [Music] the best way to keep up with all your jontron going ons is to subscribe to the youtube channel like me on facebook and follow me on twitter also don't forget to check out the hotternot app by clicking the link in the description special thanks to brentofloss and paul ritchie for taking part in this video if you want to see more of their stuff click their annotations and if you missed my last episode you can see it right there it's on pirated pokemon games

Channel: JonTronShow

Views: 18,887,622

Keywords: jontron, Foodfight! (Film), foodfight, jontronshow, movie, review

Id: BGql8sKjJwA

Length: 16min 44sec (1004 seconds)

Published: Wed Feb 26 2014

Reddit Comments

[u/DLaicH]

You monster. Let me see those melons.

Jacques should win a Best Supporting Actor award for this episode.

[u/iamusari]

It hasn't even been a month!

[u/ChozoBeast]

Holy shit! Out of nowhere!

[u/RoxemSoxemRobots]

Come on guys, watch it on NormalBoots and give da guy some delicious revenue.

[u/6MultiplyBy9is42]

Wait, aren't raisins bad for dogs? Why would they choose fucking raisins of all things? Is that the joke? I'm so confused.

[u/MrEdBadger]

So was Jon sponsored by "Hot or Not" or was it all part of the joke?

Also I love when Jon reviews movies and stuff. That was great

[u/realwizardry]

Love the bit with Paul and brentalfloss, good show overall.

[u/ahaltingmachine]

Two in one month. IT'S A BLACK HISTORY MONTH MIRACLE.

[u/[deleted]]

D- Did Jon release 2 videos within 2 weeks of each other?

That's it, the impossible has happened, get ready for the apocalypse.