The Only Film Genre That Gets You To Root For The Bad Guy - After Hours

well I've been having a terrible my landlord keeps yelling at me to wear slippers because he says I stomp like a loud and sad person my dog's been very distant lately and this morning a woman passed me on the street looked me right in the eye and to the sign of the Cross do I have Satan on my face so good every time Satan Tostitos so anyway I've been watching a lot of rom-coms to counteract it cuz I need that cuz Daniel desert oh yeah man I also love watching villains wreak havoc on everyone when I'm sad no mine are the ones where love blossoms out of comedic situations yours is a what do you talking I think Michael misheard you or his brain is broken sometimes it's hard to tell Michael he said rom-coms like will be won't day or day smoochy-smoochy yeah I know I heard rom-coms short for trauma accomplices were two horrible monsters do mean hurtful things at on or to one another and those around them until they've earned their ticket to bone town USA population peen hundred I love bone town I mean annual past there you do it once a year no I pay once a year I could do as many times as I want pay for six no I was adding to the hilarity or knows what I'm talking about most rom-com couples are actually horrible villains not now my rom-com take my best friend's wedding successful food critic Julia Roberts has had all the time in the world to tell her best friend that she wants to marry him then decides that now when he's actually getting married to just go ahead and ruin his wedding to a perfectly decent strange yeah it's the plot of the movie also the title of the Moon meanwhile our main guy I mean who cares what his name is what's even been in since a dirt lorry using About Schmidt the grey insidious three family so point is dear mate Mulrooney is a sexist emotionally manipulative leathery man who doesn't want his fiance who's very very young to finish college Julia knows this and she uses it against poor fiance Cameron Diaz in addition to bringing out this guy's inner control freak Julia tries to hurt and humiliate Cameron's character every opportunity making her do karaoke when she knows she doesn't want to do it forging work emails to cause drama between Cameron and derma what's this Dermot Mulroney he dated Rachel and friends for a little bit oh you think I would remember that leathery face so you just said his name listening villainous acts here trying to make him jealous by making her friend be her fake boyfriend and eventually she just makes out with Leatherface meanwhile dermatology is weirdly possessive of Julia walking in on her naked commenting about how good she looks yeah really good with that clothes on and he's always almost kissing Julia Wow he's engaged to Cameron not to mention that everyone's flying out for this expensive destination wedding and Cameron has done nothing but love them both also you know how many times they make her unnecessarily pratfall on that movie is that the only thing Julia Roberts can do what I am necessarily pratfall it is always at the exact right Oh dick you stole unnecessary prep hold on but but Julie doesn't get with whatever his name dermot mulroney he is an actor who's doing just fine and huh yeah yeah dimwit mulch money anyways can we even call it a rom-com if they don't end up together I mean she is supposed to be the villain but I'd say based on America's reaction of propelling it to number two at the box-office raking in two hundred and ninety nine point three million in 1997 when that was a fairly big deal yeah I think that doesn't make it a rom-com not to mention that a rom-com just has to present a will they won't they scenario in this case they won't it but I think Katie's larger point was that this is one bad example in a genre that is about comedy and finding companionship and if we but usually want to talk about villains and rom-coms than the people in How to Lose a Guy in 10 days are like super villains Katy no Katy come on I mean the whole plot of the movie is that the two of them make a bet to destroy a person I could start by dating and then drive him away do you think you can make a woman fall in love with you by then ten days you're on for work because apparently that's how you get ahead in business in rom-com world I know it's actually how you get ahead in the real world too I've tried it see every week jack threaten to fire me and then I bet him five dollars that he won't and then that sucker takes the bet every single time I give him five dollars I never get fired oh that's so smart or you just give him five dollars every week for doing nothing else that's not how bets work no it's it oh that's besides the point anyway in in How to Lose a Guy in ten days they plan to manipulate a stranger in her case by breaking up with him in any his case by falling in love for their stupid jobs she I mean she literally says I'm gonna make you as your dead and then she proceeds to make him miserable I mean imagine being a stranger who starts dating a woman who like tortures you and you don't know why she invades his personal space she throws he's emotionally abusive temper tantrums she humiliates him in front of his friends she destroy his property she makes him question his sanity she drove me half insane for a goddamn magazine she even asked one of her friends to pretend to be therapist I mean that has to be breaking some law yeah that is breaking a law that's practicing medicine illegally well maybe she was just practicing practicing medicine get it practice makes perfect although in this case practice makes a malpractice case yeah should be called how to gaslighted to hike for ten days I mean that's not kooky fun that's evil meanwhile he's not even in love with her he's just so focused on winning the blood diamonds account yeah that's right he works in advertising and is trying to advertise for Blood Diamond you say a diamond is forever boy if he will do anything which includes pulling his poor sweet family into his fraudulent mom lie meanwhile he doesn't even love this woman so his plan is just to emotionally manipulate her until he gets his work pryzen and what dump her I mean they are both super villains just trying to outsmart each other that's two bad examples of child's play you want to talk about real couple villains let's talk about America's Sweetheart I love that movie well then you love actual monsters because John Cusack and Julia Roberts in that movie are actual monsters John Cusack is a megastar who tries to kill his wife Hey okay yes he does that but if you watch the movie you know he does it for a very good reason right at home Katie she she takes him to her crumpled-up which is like edible cheating Katie damn it you let me down you let me and the whole cast of America's Sweethearts down even Billy Crystal who you know Dermot Mulroney but you don't know who Billy Crystal I don't want to talk about how much Billy Crystal probably hates Katie which is so much or how broken Dan's brain is which is it just don't just find man you're great buddy I want to talk about how America's Sweetheart should be renamed America's Psychopaths all the footage we see of John Cusack he has only protected untrusting and just violent towards Catherine zeta-jones he does not trust her because she cheated on him or maybe she cheated on him because she was in an abusive relationship he stalks around her bungalow even after they're separated spying on her and creeping around he constantly fantasizes about killing her even though he still wants to be with her meanwhile Julia Roberts is pining after her sister's husband even so much that she kisses him and then he's up sleeping with him while they're still married even more meanwhile Julia is not being honest with her sister she's enabling her sisters bad behavior she could tell Catherine zeta-jones that she is being self-destructive but no she doesn't do that because she is suckling at the teat of her sisters success team anyway Julia Roberts is just using her sister until she can hop on the John Cusack money train meanwhile her sister is literally being slushing by the entire media sorry I can't get over what happened when you and Eddie I am so sick over it I can't sleep at night how can you she needs a strong supportive family during that time but everywhere she turns she has no one she can rely on not even her own sister Oh oh my god you're right John Cusack is always a terrible person in rom-coms in in serendipity both he and Kate Beckinsale are engaged to different people but they keep chasing each other around because Kate was trying to be a cookie Manic Pixie dream girl and didn't just give him her number when they first met and then he uses the present that his fiancee gave him to ruin their wedding and find Kate and say anything he's a straight-up stalker with boundary issues okay so John Cusack's bad for rom-coms but last night I watched you've got mail alone starring America's actual favorite sweethearts Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan it's correspondence that blossoms into love I mean technically he uh runs her bookstore into the ground and then emotionally manipulates her when he finds out that she's the mysterious lady he's been chatting with but she's emailing him and open and kind and relationship she's distancing herself from that relationship emotionally making herself unavailable to her spouse and she says it she says it she says it she knows it is it infidelity if you're involved with someone on email okay bad example okay uh never been kissed yeah she's 25 and she goes on a date with a 17-year old also she manipulates children to get her story in the paper oh and she's into a teacher who wants to bone his student 10 Things I Hate About You oh she has serious anger issues and he is being paid to date her there's something about married well [ __ ] no late everyone is stalking her and Ben Stiller has a perfectly good opportunity to keep her from putting fresh jism in her hair and he does not yes and she just takes the hair gel from his ear does that notice you know I recognize what Chisholm is personally I would be concerned about pursuing someone who can't identify jism by touch temperatures sight or smell meeting okay we ruined all of them all right and also we said Chisholm out loud in a public place three times four times now so everything's ruined everything's terrible and I have no way of fixing my bad day now or ever wait now look at it that way all the Psychopaths have coupled off oh yeah all the Awful's are with each other instead of tormenting us and just like watching two sick people making out it's not it's not very fun it's kind of gross but at least you know that there are only swapping germs with one another they're not infecting other people yeah guess so you guys saw that right maybe it was a meet-cute no you think was like a holy terror cross or like a buzzer her is a personal phone even some meet-cute I should go after her I wouldn't usually pursue someone who thinks you might be the devil yeah hi everyone we had a lot of fun today but we'd like to talk to you seriously about Dermot Mulroney he's passable he's cast as handsome often which is why we thought it was okay to call him leather-faced over and over again it's not like we're not saying like I do it much of Paul Giamatti jokes here not like Giamatti and we're making fun of his gobble and face we would also like to take a minute to talk about Paul Giamatti Paul Giamatti is passably a handsome gentleman he's not awful he's not no he's no Steve Buscemi he's no like the alien monster all right hi we've had a lot of fun here today and now I'd like to talk to you seriously about Steve Buscemi um that's actually how you pronounce this stupid garbage goblin name

Channel: Cracked

Views: 2,229,863

Rating: 4.9294753 out of 5

Keywords: Julia Roberts, My best friend's wedding, cameron diaz, Dermort Mulruney, rom-coms, romantic comedies, 10 ways to lose a guy, kate hudson, matthew mcconaughey, after hours, cracked, cracked.com, America's Sweethearts, John Cusack, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Billy crystal, funny, spoof, humor, sketch, satire, parody, pop culture, You got Mail, Meg Ryan, Tom Hanks

Id: FZT8ix-lfXs

Length: 12min 6sec (726 seconds)

Published: Mon Aug 29 2016