5 'Jurassic Park' Plot Holes With Horrifying Implications - After Hours

Dilophosaurus existed during the Jurassic period but not the t-rex or Raptors t-rex and Raptors are closer in time to humans than they are to the Dilophosaurus that's like if aliens made a human zoo and they clone super futuristic guys and also the flipper having fish things we evolved from and put them all together and we're like they're playing with each other that's just bad fact-checking and it's the least evil thing that engendered John Hammond makes the greatest breakthrough in the history of science and then he uses that to build a theme park I'm pretty sure his heart is in the right place now once more with appropriate skepticism John Hammond made the greatest breakthrough in the history of science and use that to build a theme park there's nothing suspicious about their story to you they caught lightning in the bottle with that mosquito dnh then they stock apart full of fully grown dinosaurs and bam selling your cellar doors open yeah there are always bugs in beta testing and that's what the movie is just one very long admittedly very bad beta test why yeah they do bring in the experts but only after a worker is killed they're all like yeah we better make triply sure that we ride that nature will find a way well I'm convinced who needs logic and reason when you can just repeat everything that I say in a cartoon dumb guy boys like dinosaurs the dinosaurs are fully grown Sauron most estimates on a t-rex says that takes over 20 years for them to get fully grown they've been cloning dinosaurs since the 60s and they didn't share you're right that is disturb no the books explain the dinosaurs have genetically manipulated lifespans that make some short and saurons talking about books right according to the books the dinosaurs have been around for a few years but they still eat would you expect them to eat goats for the carnivores leaves for the herbivores they don't seem like they're eating more or faster than any other animal yeah elephants eat all day every day and it still takes them 13 years to reach their full size these dinosaurs go from hatchlings to bigger than an elephant in a few years I mean a Brachiosaurus the size of a city block house never stop eating or pooping they only get as big as cows Dino island would have to be importing more trees and goats than a large country and exporting or storing just so much dinosaurs it would be impossible for an animal to eat that fast as in against the laws of conservation of matter impossible so they're your two options either yes they've been cloned dinosaurs since the time when computers were the size of a small building or they found out some way to make matter out of not matter either way they're immensely powerful instead of going public with their miraculous godlike powers they decide to say all right kiddies we make dinosaurs kind of play with them compare them they want to play with you okay that they're so smart then how come every single other plants turns into a rolling dumpster fire Hammond is in charge of the entire operation and he almost gets his grandkids eaten true I mean they go to the island where the dinosaurs were created in laws world and then the dinosaurs get out again because of what another tropical storm I mean who could have seen that coming and then their main product you know kills most of San Diego it's not exactly one small step for man yeah but what's scarier a brilliant calculating shadow company whose technological powers rank somewhere between China and God or all that power in the hands of some sloppy greedy and Ron dudes in djenne is trying to use their powers for good but there's all these clues about the shady competitor company trying to steal their secrets that's how the dinosaurs got out in the first one Newman was trying to steal the Dino DNA for the rival company no man but he fails right gets his face poison his buddy right there not perfect just greedy and ruthless in djenne earned their limitless power with math and science but this sabotage company we don't know very much about just that they're greedy corrupt and imperfect and when they let the t-rex out of its cage the dark side wins technically the t-rex let herself but technically it's the dumbasses who boarded the ship after it crashed into San Diego I mean there's a ship just full of bloody bodies and a dude whose body got bitten off of his hand which was still clutching a remote to keep the cargo doors shut and they go oh you know what maybe we should press the button and open the doors this guy died trying to stay close you're telling me that that guy works for the rival company no way to know but what we do know is the t-rex did not kill the guy previously attached to that hand I mean what did she eat him as he pressed the button and then dive into the closing doors why yeah and what happened to the people were supposed to be driving the boat it looked like a god damn people blender in that wheelhouse what did the t-rex do it huh did you knock out a crew member and dress up like a deckhand and sneak up behind of it there had to be a person on that boat killing people freeing Rexes making sure life had a little help finding away but why why would this Keyser söze shell company want to loose a tear add a little diversion maybe they're so ruthless that they are willing to slaughter people and destroy an entire city just to bring in and down or just to test their dinosaurs no it makes more sense if the sabotage was coming from inside in Jen I mean the t-rex getting freed is part of like a hostile takeover I mean in Jen paid billions of dollars for researching this technology that puts an awful lot of pressure on Hammond to find something more profitable than a zoo where the animals only come out when they want to eat you like bio weapons in real life that a lava source doesn't have that poisonous pit maybe the bio weapons division added that during the cloning process when lost world ends Hammond is on TV taking the blame I mean everything he knows of everything he approved is going to be opened up and dissected by the media and he's the fall guy just a smiling Rann probably face to make the public feel better Malcolm dies in the first book but comes back in the second Hammond gets eaten by a bunch of coffees in the first book also alive in the second so you saying they used their technology wizard powers to bring an annoying mathematician and a CEO that they were trying to get rid of back to line they bring two main characters back that were dead I always thought that was Crichton acquiescing to the movie version of his universe but maybe it's a clue what movies beat books so then maybe dinosaurs aren't all they cloned on the island I mean think about it if you had unlimited technology and no moral compass why would you do a trial run just once you'll be running your team of experts you're me and Malcolm clones dr. grant laura dern ham and clones do Jurassic Park beta trials just like you'd be playing Super Mario Brothers it does add a whole new perspective on me and Malcolm speech about the droplet of water that falls in an unpredictable direction I'm sure engine was just like duh we know we know all the science and that's why you are the 2015 Malcolm to give that speech maybe they invited time-travel ever always assumes the time travels gonna be like light bulbs or smartphones that as soon as one company makes it everyone's gonna suddenly get it but if you invent a time travel why would you tell anyone you just go back to the 60s and have a head start on the next fifty years of scientific advances dinosaurs could just be something that they picked up on a drunken weekend time bender they had to invent cloning technology to cover their trash or the fourth one's gonna take place in the world where a Jurassic Park is actually open yeah it's like adventure Lane just for bored teens working concessions for the summer no dinosaurs very chill and do people eat no it's just like uh the movie We Bought a Zoo but without the buying like the zoos are there it's like going to a zoo but there are dinosaurs in the kids lake it's kind of neat but I saw pictures on the internet hi thanks for watching that video please subscribe to our Channel I have a little bit of a rod fiction here that I'd like to read you if you subscribe just to give you a little taste Soren pulled his pants down suspenders still on they didn't stay down for long but long enough that she could see his quivering man root pulsating yeah that's sick she said but sick in the good way

Channel: Cracked

Views: 2,319,884

Rating: 4.8927031 out of 5

Keywords: Jurassic Park (Film), Plot Hole, After Hours, Cracked, cracked.com, sketch, humor, funny, engen, raptors, spoof, satire, john hammond, theme parks, Jurrasic Park, Jurrasic World, Dinosaurs, The Lost World: Jurassic Park (Film), Daniel O'brien, Katie Willert, Michael Swaim, Soren Bowie, clones, Tyrannosaurus (Organism Classification), Ian Malcolm, Michael Crichton (Author)

Id: aFtkw4KJAF4

Length: 8min 21sec (501 seconds)

Published: Mon May 19 2014

Reddit Comments

[u/DrinkYourHaterade]

Original Westworld was a Crichton screenplay, and his directorial debut.

[u/theparableengine]

Basically, they suggested that since Jurassic Park could clone, and the first movie is a beta test, maybe they were just running the same simulation over and over again in loops with clones.

For instance, Malcolm gives the chaos theory speech 2000 times.

Thought it was interesting.