THE MOST 😈😈😈 OF r/FOUNDSATAN

hey man could you pass me my drink yeah dog I got you hey welcome to Perth sign painted on a building rooftop is scaring passengers landing at Sydney airport that's just a Great Prank though my sister used to do this to her nails and scratch people at school because she really does hate everyone she meets and that takes a lot of work turning your nails into little claw saws you can invent a disease that doesn't hurt anybody only pisses them off or inconveniences them what are you coming up with a disease where the person constantly has the sensation there's a single hair in their mouth at all times evil a completely flat floor designed to get kids to slow down oh God it's just gonna make me vomit man go to hell is basic I hope your favorite book gets a really bad live adaptation is smart it's possible it's terrifying I'm still waiting for the warrior catch live action series my little brother struggling to find any end of the blanket me who cut the blanket into a Mobius strip you evil bastard my daughter asked why she can't just quit school and I told her it's against the lawn they'll put me in jail and my sweet sweet child would be in the eye and said I'll visit you it's a small price to pay for no school someone literally died on my flight today so we made an emergency landing and everyone missed their connections the guy behind me was complaining saying that was an emergency if they're already dead and I just like to say that you sir are the devil don't wait Ricky Ricky the guy may have a point here if I have identical twins I'm naming them a gif and GIF but I'm gonna pronounce it differently so not GIF and GIF not Jeff and Jeff you're just gonna never mind individually wrapped 100 in singles for their brother oh that took me a second to wrap my brain around wakey wakey hands off stinky yesterday my colleague called me a book murderer because I cut long books and have to make them more portable does anyone do this or is it just me definitely just you one of my favorite things to do with my group of guy friends is to give them my leftover bag of cookies but leave just one less for them all to get one they're fighting over them right now one of them doesn't even like sweets it's a matter of Pride my son was being an [ __ ] so I deep fried his Optimus Prime I'm gonna do this to Zach's people who scream red during a kahoot game even though they know it's green and 14 people get it wrong new bubble wrap will no longer pop when you squeeze it yeah you have to poke it with a knife all right I'm just gonna say it I always eat the other person's fries on the way home and then keep the Fuller one for myself oh you son of a I've been building my son's trust for two years with high fives today I'm gonna hit him with a too slow Welcome to the Real World son instant power outlet prank stickers please don't Litter set Wi-Fi password to two four four four six six six six six six six eight eight eight eight eight eight so when your friend asks for the password just tell them it's one two three four five six seven eight whoever did this is pure evil no whoever did that is pure funny someone at my high school decided to bend all the locks on the bathroom stalls so we can't lock the doors what a [ __ ] loser just bring a pair of needle nose pliers in and bend them back he's got a mailbox and everything oh my God lucky guy I wonder if he gets his packages on time it's fun to chant Bloody Mary into your car's side mirror three times and watch her Jog and try to keep up oh I got it that I don't know why that took me a second I think I'm dumb being a even to Demons graffiti artists have moved a door of a train oh man that's just nice I caught a sea bass no wait it's at least a c-plus I have a fish named Gerald who I hate so much I put him in a tank on the beach he's so close to the ocean but can never reach it I feel like that fish would die immediately out there nobody will notice you sneaky little genius you I don't want to die a virgin done nothing happened you are Immortal now oh God wait you can create your own Vault what's your Vault number and what's the experiment conducted in the Vault 404 everyone shows up on the bombs fall and there's no Vault there or maybe there's a door but there's nothing behind it the thinnest building in Beirut is called albasa Arabic for The Grudge I probably didn't say that right it's only two feet wide at its smallest point and only exists because a guy wanted to block his brother's view of the ocean what a I mean no what a if I was a famous actor and had a horde of fangirls I would stay single and every time an interviewer asked me about my love life I'd answer there's this one girl I saw at a meeting with fans I don't know her name because of all the fuss with the autographs and I've only seen her once but I'm in love with her I'd say that looking all sad and lonely imagine all the fangirls faces just calm down there a second Satan I erased the original comment so you're left wondering how I got over 13 000 likes if someone was covered in paper cuts and you threw them into a pool of lemon juice how long do you think it would take them to die what circle of Dante's Inferno did you crawl out of what if you rolled their body in salt first easy there Satan Margarita of pain a murderita first inter Mission poll what's the best meat for an egg sandwich bacon chicken that way you get to eat both the parent and the child in one sandwich I've been waiting for the perfect time to change my Netflix password so my ex can't use it anymore and it doesn't really get much better than a national lockdown Halloween is almost here and you know what that means time to start making this year's batch of chocolate coated peas nasty silver 75 dollars a plate two hours of dinner magic Joe says oh is this a uh fake date service for weddings I'm married and I want a Booker but everyone will immediately know she's bullshitting but I'll make her stay in character my God you're a perfect monster oh I see where are you I'm coming home home home home eating piece of [ __ ] oops whoever created this card needs to chill take discard pile damn that's legit Evil saying do I smell popcorn right after you fart so everybody takes a big deep breath I shat in your nose asking for help on Reddit yep do you have any advice nope that's just a lot of threads regarding help and issues in 2012 a Chicago man bought a car for six hundred dollars registered it in his ex-girlfriend's name then parked at O'Hare Airport and racked up 678 parking tickets totaling a hundred thousand dollars there's no way they would have let it sit at an airport for long enough for that unless each ticket was like 80 grand you know there's no way there's no way they would have towed it after a certain point man 700 tickets nah it would have been gone if you hate your HOA nothing funnier than installing a 7000 plus capacity bat Roost causing thousands of bats to come into your neighborhood they'll cause your HOA to complain but they cannot legally do anything because bats are a federally protected animal and cannot be removed there are all sorts of ways to [ __ ] with HOAs and I'm down for literally any and all of them but it does kinda suck when in screwing with an HOA you mess with your nice neighbors too instead of an Elf on the Shelf in December let's do a doll in the hall in October you take a creepy porcelain doll that your kids already believe is haunted and keep secretly moving it around the house for an extra festive touch put the doll right in bed with one of the kids too when I'm a parent I won't take my kids Electronics when they get in trouble I'll just take the charger so I can watch the fear in their eyes as they use it less and less while the battery slowly begins to run out my husband runs a sawmill and look at these he cut today anyone else see a dog I feel like I see more of a sad Pig turn on your monitor Jesus Christ cease fire stay back Nickelodeon dips its toes into Hotel business I stayed there once there was a rotting squirrel carcass in the pool some kids were crying when I told them it was the real Sandy the elf was delicious had the cookies for dessert thanks Jesus Santa maybe leave some protein cookies out for him this year you know me watching The Neighbors fight over a pair of panties I purposefully left behind in the guy's car cause the woman wouldn't buy a girl fine come on come on who the world would do that my wife forgot to leave for me the car seat to take our son to the babysitter's house this is the picture I sent when she asked how I was going to get him there I then turned off my phone for the next four hours sure you did to get revenge on a co-worker I dried out a pack of sharpies and every time he leaves his out I swap it for an identical Dead one it's been a week and he's losing his mind I want to know what the [ __ ] did to Warrant such pure unadulterated Evil Genius I'm sorry but this is clever as hell taken DTF single AF it's complicated I don't think anybody's Really Gonna remember the colors they're gonna have to like go back and double check the little key or is it called the key whatever they're gonna have to go back and double check this every five seconds shifts all cups one to the right oh my God I found a SIM card SIM card of my sister who died five years ago now I was thinking of texting her boyfriend saying oh I see when my wife who's shy as hell first met my extended family we had a big dinner with about 14 people at the end of the meal I say to say thanks she'd love to sing for you all every everyone went silent and now there no one's going to expect your wife your girlfriend whatever to sing at random man oh my God I just hit the wrong button I lost my place where was I with all the photos I'm lost oh I found my place if you were a falconry glove to the park and frantically look around oh I mean yeah probably I would I'm in need of some unethical tips to deal with my very loud upstairs neighbors Hit Me With Your Best worst ideas it's in a flat baking pan put that pan in the freezer remove the now Frozen sheet from the pan and slide it under their door it'll melt and there will be a soaking pile of their door would they wake up who hurt you don't do that man something I enjoy doing when I met my grandparents house is to give my little cousins chocolate to make them happy until they realize it's chocolate with mint in it and see their little smile fade away I saw a cute girl flirting in my comments with a guy and she asked him for his snap and I turned off the comments but I can't find love no one can oh my God that's so mean did she curse someone filled a soccer ball with concrete and left it on the field um cool bet that hurt this one's not [ __ ] funny that's [ __ ] I know DMS are supposed to emotionally damage the party but Jesus I once used dominate person to counterspell a revive of five with the barred's own counter spell what the [ __ ] Satan what are you doing on the DND subreddit the satanic Panic was right all along I didn't understand a bit of that first one I've played a lot of DnD what are some websites I can sign up my neighbor for so he gets harassed by non-stop visitors this guy's such an arrogant jerk yells at people who walk their dog past the house he really hates dogs and even called the police on some of his neighbors for just walking their dog I want him to have visitors non-stop ringing his doorbell what are some websites I can sign him up for so he gets visited take a picture of some random liquor bottles or just find one online make an ad on Craigslist saying if you're an alcoholic who's just started recovery and you're giving away your stash for free for the first person who shows up pick up only his address watch the fun oh last night my son asked if I'd ever heard of a pillow fight I said I had not so he explained the premise and asked if I would play I awkwardly held a pillow as he gave me pointers through a smile that lit up the room my first Swank took him off his feet he never saw it coming Welcome to the Real World kid one year a few senior boys got three chickens and released them into the school but they labeled them one two and four the teacher spent hours looking for chicken number three now that's mind games when I was like 11 I was getting bullied by this girl and my mom let me know she heard her parents were getting divorced and to tell her that neither of them wanted her Jesus dude my husband pissed me off and think he's gonna sit in the living room and watch TV in peace so I downloaded the LG remote app and keep turning the TV off from the bedroom he came in here and acted like I was oh and I acted like I was asleep so now he thinks we have ghosts alright most evil thing you've ever done thread bored as [ __ ] call random number woman answers hi it's the school calling about your child about Jack what's wrong nothing we just wanted to let you know the music teacher apparently says you've got a little Elvis on your hands really yeah we just found him get on the toilet all right Bill Collins In the Air Tonight is on Loop in the background but it always restarts before the drums solo kicks it ah you [ __ ] now we wait oh dude that's dub we had to do a little bit of trolling you know just some light trollage just finished setting up my dad's TV he has no idea how to change this [Laughter] oh it's the it's the vice though I'm sure it's fine how to make the struggle of finding parking more difficult there should be a device that's in every parking lot and parking garage in the world actually realistically I'd like parking and cars to be gone entirely but in this particular instance there should be some sort of device where you can push the [ __ ] into place without causing any damage that way they have literally no reason to be mad my dog fired me yesterday saw her coming just a seasonal position I already have a new job congratulations and they asked me if I could still show up for my shift today because no one else could take it I said yes it's now 10 minutes past when I was supposed to clock in and I am laying in bed two hearts that's yeah wow especially if you've been fired and are off payroll and everything like you don't know if you're gonna get paid you don't know what liability you would owe to you know a private business that you're not technically legally part of no no I'm not going to be no no I'm good put Black Pete Lego pieces on my rug to create pain I did this I'm more upset that you might lose Lego in the process of doing this terrible horrible awful prank but I'm more concerned about you losing the Lego pieces than I am about you being Satan changing the letters on my cousin's crossword so that it's an unsolvable oh it's a word search oh okay words yeah I know this is pretty evil I I would I would do that for crosswords because I've never understood crosswords as a puzzle person myself because you're intentionally blacking out squares to fit the words that you want to fit on the but you no what Starburst flavor is the best oh I have opinions purple lime are Sasha no oh that they brought those back uh they were called the Baja ones in like 2007. they were amazing unless you're just saying found Satan because we are reminded of things we can no longer have also Skittles bring back lime Skittles green apple are awful when you live with Satan he he looks different than I thought he would like I I thought you know he'd be either really sharply dressed or have some horse oh this is your roommate is saying gotcha okay yeah I don't know what that is just throw it away or call the APA I'm not sure what to do oh I only looked at the first image God I'm dumb so your roommate is hollowing out the center of peanut butter question mark that doesn't that doesn't look like safe peanut butter I'm still gonna hold by my original thing like if I saw that and I didn't know what it was that that looks like applesauce that has been sitting there for two months too long however long that is devil what brings you to Hell me uh I used to blower the brightness on my grandma's phone and asked her for money to repair it devil no you don't belong here you're going in purgatory it's it's you're gonna be bored pill that makes you experience when your blankets are so warm but you have to grab something that's just Out Of Reach and ruin your comfort and you know you won't be able to get it back why why why would you ever need this I went to Comic-Con as Uncle Ben the goal die in front of as many Spider-Man as possible I kind of want to do that now die oh no but that's amazing dog search no my secret pleasure is to send minute long voice messages with nothing in them to waste people's time it's you it was you this whole time I was looking forward to having many muffins for breakfast this morning and this this is what I found he ate the top and left this for me who is he and why why is he living in your house what in the hell no genuine like what kind of person does this not sure if this belongs here but I dig hered out I'm using that how to put letters in the calculator and left this for the next person help me it will come for your world's next uh ins when I was in pre-algebra I had a graphing calculator I'm not sure why I don't remember why it was required um but it had basic on it and I wrote a whole text Adventure instead of paying attention and and that's why I never took calculus I did write formulas to solve my geometry problems for me though that that was kind of Justified do you have a girlfriend no why your girlfriend said I should ask you and send her a screenshot I get the feeling this is staged but also yikes no please not Conan O'Brien Conan O'Brien 1963-2023 that's how long you has been alive so far yeah 2023 don't you start don't you start taking away people especially not Conan and his Luscious Hair in college we named our intramural softball team no game scheduled because if the other team didn't show up they lost their league deposit and forfeited it worked several times everyone hated us and nothing as cool as that has happened to me since that's that's beautiful that's that's almost as good as naming your team drop tables for the 10 people in the audience that read XKCD when I went out to her and bought the cover right to my wife having ate all the skin is is that I don't know anything about smoking is that a bat like are you are you just mad that it was going to be served with the thing I genuinely don't know because if it's a turkey like you're gonna slice it into slices and then serve it on a platter so like I I okay I'm very sorry to this guy I don't I don't know I wouldn't know I particularly like the skin so like uh we're selling our Legos tomorrow my mom said pick through anything we may want so my sister and my brother are taking every single one of the Minifigs that please don't sell your Legos please find all the mega blocks leave those in you guys they're still kids like these are why are you selling the Legos unless you need like money or something in which case that's very sad but like I'm not gonna think about this anymore it just makes me upset chose this seat because it was next to an outlet two hours later I went to charge my phone just to realize it's a sticker you got me stranger I've seen these before I don't know where they sell them I kind of want one but I'm also not mean enough to actually use them free Wi-Fi this bull crap the Wi-Fi password is the first digits of the answer how many digits is it first digits I wanted to get a pilot's uniform just so I can go to the airport bar and get absolutely hammered and watch everyone around me get horrified ah see if you were in the bar though like I would just assume that you've already landed or you have a deadhead flight back home or something like that and you're in like you have to walk past the ticket counter for your airline to get onto the plane you are going to fly like the gate agent is not going to let you get on the flight please satanize your answer don't mind if I do if you poop in a plastic bag flatten it out and freeze it you make little frozen poop discs okay stuff I read for this channel when people leave their car windows open a crack on a hot day you can slip the poop discs right in and they'll melt in the hot sun are these people parking like in front of your driveway or like blocking you in or are you just just saying always kind of struck me as the kind of person that like would work further evil like this is just neutral evil to chaotic evil at this point like this is not Satan evil powdered this did you mean Country Time Lemonade when I watch romantic movies uh but I no longer believe in love push her I believe in love still very much in love with my wife and I I stay the same thing it's just funny windshield cleaner in a type of bottle used mainly for sodas this is a lawsuit waiting to happen oh oh no oh oh that is that is genuinely a bad idea big idea you go out on your friend's PC and fill their desktop with shortcuts that lead to Never Gonna Give You Up then you change the name and icon to the browser are using and hide the real browser among them windows are chrome.exe I genuinely have no icons on my desktop if you right click on your Windows desktop you can just go to view and unclick show desktop icons I just I don't run with any desktop icons I just type in what I need or map it to the to the start bar this would not work I'm immune Instagram makes people depressed and Twitter makes people angry which is better Satan Reddit s yet why why does Instagram oh I guess some people get really depressed on it I have the weirdest nerdy stuff on my Instagram so Twitter makes people angry because it doesn't kick people off for being jerks but yeah reddit reddit has become my genuinely new favorite place because it only shows me things I actually want to see what the fracks US I can see your face in the reflection how I can't how I can't I just wanted to see if it would freak you out that's kind of cool r slash ask Reddit kill him well okay um that's starting off strong uh could kill him and then repeatedly clone him with all his memories so that they keep on killing him for eternity calm down Satan I'm feeling slightly competitive three people are typing when I'm bored I drive by people's house and turn their TV off but that that's a Roku remote those are paired over Wi-Fi Direct that does it does nothing not even about the game it's about the blatant disrespect play the long game grow old together till she is on life support then pop the question remember when you turned my game off uh yeah I'm looking for evil I'm looking for Satan evil not just being a jerk this is just extreme jerk need more cunning run 668 well yeah I had no idea Satan would arrive driving a Toyota don't remember seeing that in Revelations okay sir you walk into your work bathroom and find this what percentage of the cupcake do you think is technically safe to eat none of it now what the hell is wrong with you not not why would you eat this if you are that desperate for a cupcake go find the source of the cupcakes and ask for one or buy or make one yourself what the hell is wrong with you people I-15 have this cousin seven and he copies a lot of the stuff I do and he picked up the same interests as me Dragon Ball being one of them he was play fighting with another family member and I yelled hey go Super Saiyan too and this kid did not scream but screeched that can only be compared to a school fire alarm this Screech lasted for five seconds and I fell and cried on the floor laughing for 10 minutes good good job frustration oh God what is this oh no no this is no no this is all it's keyboard smashing ugh if you see someone crying ask if it's because of their haircut this has been not life tips with Lexi uh one time in math class my teacher was really pissed at us and he was yelling do you even know basic math do you even know what Edition what's two plus two Corey what's two plus two and poor Corey wasn't paying attention so I leaned over Tim and whispered seven and he blurted out seven and I have never laughed harder and I doubt I ever will yeah this is a good one this is what we're looking for here Corey was not paying attention so he deserved to get you know yelled at by the teacher and this person just saw the the advantage of the situation was like we're gonna turn this into a memory we will never forget mom doesn't approve of girlfriend me 24 male and my girlfriend 23 female have been friends for a while we decided to make it official now my mom is going absolutely nuts because she thinks my girlfriend is not good enough apparently she has mental issues is immature is cunning and wants to take advantage of me she stopped talking to me and said I'm the worst son ever and she should die before I get married so that I can live a happy life I'm so stressed out I don't want to hurt my mom it's true my girlfriend has anxiety issues but it's nothing a good therapy can't fix uh but my mom is stuck with the idea that my my girl girlfriend will separate me from her uh what should I do oh I have an idea ask if she approves of a boyfriend that'll do it yeah well she has problem with somebody with anxiety imagine well fine screw it i'm bisexual now meet Tony he works at the gym the masculine urge to buy all of the hot dogs and water bottles in a grocery store replace the water inside with hot dog water and put the water bottles back on the store shelves you'd have to boil it I think I think you'd have to boil it to like get some of the minerals out from from the hot dogs and it might need to be filtered a few times which might take the hot dog water taste out um but but you might be able why am I giving you tips on how to get away with this I wish turn oil and strife on this little crap for all eternity May is lemonades always be flat and his shoelaces forever Come Undone r slash found Satan yeah that's a good one I like that one having to be Advertiser friendly for YouTube does force you to have to make really inventive insults and threats and that this is this is a good one I like this useful hack to show off to your friends a shiny inner game hold L plus r plus start Plus select to take a screenshot I never had a DS because gaming consoles were violent according to my parents so I'm not sure what this does but I'm guessing it reboots the system wait my wife who's shy as Frack first met my extended family we had a big dinner with about 14 people at the end of the meal set I said say thanks she'd love to sing for you all everyone went silent and stared at her and she still hasn't forgiven me nine years later this is falling on the jerk spectrum because like why would you do that it's not funny to anyone involved it's just it's just pointless I don't think we need to get the birds stoned uh they're already up in the clouds ah feeding them laxatives at the beach or a large city park is a lot of fun you sir are evil computer uh USB chemistry okay one dear sister as revenge for stealing my twenty dollars I've hidden your project in one of these folder and guess what all of these folders have three subfolders does it teach you not to steal from me so have fun trying to find your project if there's a lesson to be learned here it's don't steal from your brother with warmer guards and hateful loathing and Vengeance your loving brother go die control F search for extension of project was this supposed to be difficult or open command prompt dir s show you a directory of all of that folder at all subfolders I'm just going to spread ammunition against these people because they need to be more creative I wish all people who say easy even when they lose an itch under your skin that keeps moving every time you try to scratch it that's a good one there we go we found Satan finally we're getting into some good ones just made three new Uno cards special card take discard pile plus 10 or switch with the highest quick game or plus 25 cards wow ruin the next player or ruin the next play I can't read that last one but are you trying to turn Uno into Monopoly because that's how long it's Gonna Last with this 60 Satan's and Counting what time should High School classes should start um at whatever time would cause you to go to English class 7am or earlier I mean yeah if you wanna you could start the day at seven then just be out at noon at that point then then you go to bed at noon when you get home and you wake up around 8pm you stay up all night and go to class seven o'clock I work night shift so like the sun means nothing to me there is a fake X on this Facebook ad yeah um mobile ads have this just all over the place it's terrible Welcome to Hell football I went to an all boys school but we had cheerleaders from a nearby girls school okay we had a pep rally for the football team and they took the three captains and blindfolded them in front of the assembled audience the football captains were then told to guess which cheerleader was about to kiss them weird the first Captain accepted a kiss on the cheek guess the name and everybody cheered the procedure was the same for the second one when it was the third Captain's turn instead of accepting a kiss he grabbed a kisser and gave her a deep French Kiss to the immense cheers of the onlookers he cast a cheerleader and everyone was roaring with laughter they took off their blindfolds and standing before them was their mothers this Alabama really fast it started out creepy and just it went far worse than I expected someone placed a webcam sticker on this urinal flush valve at a music venue bathroom okay that's a good one it's a see this is this is perfect found Satan it doesn't actually cause any harm to anybody that didn't deserve it it's evil and it'll occupy your brain long after you leave especially if you don't know how those work I pranked my family by secretly upgrading My Submarine into a U-boat [Music] yeah you'll need to check the rule book on that I'd see the charity and win because I like people suffering people do anything but go to therapy a super fun Pokemon project in Scarlet slash Violet I like to call this project mini I want to send massive amounts of Everstone haunters named Mindy my original plan was mindy.com but someone informed me that might set off some sort of name flag as of right now I have two boxes of haunters named Mindy holding ever stones eight boxes of ghastly and five more boxes of ghastly eggs to hatch that will be in total boxes or 450 Hunters when I finish sorry 15 boxes I plan to start trading them off on Friday January 13th at 5 PM after I get home from work however 450 Hunters is nothing when compared to how many Wonder Traders happen constantly I'm sorry I haven't played Scarlet or Violet I am a Pokemon Snap person so I was hoping some others would would love to bless this game with a massive Everstone haunters I feel it would be quite Fundy wonder trade troll to do on a Friday the 13th I hope it went well I didn't hear anything about it I'm sorry this is how my wife cuts herself a brownie at least cut the grid and then you can pick out the centerpiece like I don't care my wife wanted the centerpiece I like the edges so but at least you know cut straight lines for everybody else and then take whatever piece you want you'd be the dead center I don't care my teacher only lets us go to the bathroom three times a month bathroom ticket three tickets per month musk ask blank to use the bathroom and hand in a ticket leaving the classroom without bathroom permission automatically uses a ticket blank will check your name off when you use a ticket and document how long you're gone note you may not use another classmates ticket and these tickets do not roll over this is always a stupid idea and and not stupid in the way of like the obvious reasons but just unintelligent because like if I have to use the restroom especially when I was a kid and a teacher was being a jerk um like I I I need to use this person like real bad I'm gonna go I'm going to go to the restroom I don't care like your ticket system that that's fine um I really don't care if you would like to prevent me from leaving the room it's not gonna end well for anyone especially if you're a middle schooler with lactose intolerance like they'll clear the room it's your choice whether or not the rest of the time that you have to spend in your classroom today is miserable or not like that's entirely up to you three times a month Jesus Christ some teachers are on a power trip I swear you don't own the children I've seen this before and I'll just say what I said last time he should have left Waldo on the second page untouched whoever gets the book will spend a long time on the first page get frustrated and go to the next page they'll then find Waldo on the second page which then reaffirms their belief that there must be a Waldo on the first page if they can't find Waldo at all there's a decent chance they'll figure it out I I don't know the backstory but I'm gathering that they just omitted Waldo on the first page or something 98 97 96 94 PSI I can't get these tires to 100 no matter how much Ira I put in what the Frack I think I got bad tires holy crap yeah no oh you're so close don't give up now no sometimes you have to use hot air thanks I needed that encouragement for a moment I was worried I might be doing something wrong no it depends on what you're trying to do back in uni a girl marks my presentation one time so I searched for her group and asked the topic they were presenting on I spent four days researching on it and asked her so many questions like it was common knowledge that she cried stay blessed precious one in uh great school somebody made fun of my glasses like incessantly and in computer class I remote it through the network and wiped their entire year-long project yeah I probably wouldn't have done it now by the time I was young and stupid and vaguely pissed and also had finished the entire year-long project by October so yeah into eating eating for bite into one does it taste sour just a little imagine a flight Sim where they model entire tunnels but it's just a hair too small for any of the planes to fit inside yeah imagine like what just one of the stunt bridges in GTA was actually something that was way out in the ocean but there was a very obvious bridge that was very very low and just too low for any of the planes to clear and just watch the speedrunners Melt found an extra pair of boots at the work site so I decided to give my boss a heart attack oh oh god oh no okay that's terrible but I can't be the only one that thought it's just freaking hilarious that you Wicked witched unimaginary co-worker true story I'm flying right now but through Wi-Fi and an app on my phone I'm honking the horn on my car back home to annoy my family the future is now now I'm with this guy I got banned from Cheat Code Central when I was a kid for posting elaborate time wasting fake cheats for various games I never played oh I'm going to love these people my mom grounded me so I catfished her for six months and broke her heart God one time I asked a rival dad who I knew didn't own a torque wrench if I could borrow his torque wrench in front of a group of people [Laughter] if you're bored on Valentine's Day just go up to random couples in restaurants and yell who the hell is she laughs and Sith Lord the advanced version is when you bring some kids with you this random number texted me accidentally and I couldn't help myself when you get home and get the baby uh settled call me I thought you had the baby oh no you gave them a heart attack after finishing a 90 kilometer ultra marathon runners have to leave the stadium using these stairs nice I love Call of Duty Modern Warfare cross play I said Xbox turn off and turned off some poor kids Xbox mid game have you heard of the Harvard MIT pigeon prank an MIT student dressed in a black and white striped shirt went to the Harvard football stadium every day of one summer blowing a whistle while scattering breadcrumbs or bird seed to Coke's neighborhood pigeons down onto the field at Harvard's opening game of the season upon the referee's first whistle it said that hundreds of pigeons descended onto the field causing a half hour delay brilliant truly brilliant spending my Valentines outside a nice restaurant shouting well you moved on pretty quickly to random couples walking in I feel slightly ill hmm boy do I hate you pole how that's the evilest thing I can imagine my mom's laptop wallpaper was a picture of her granddaughter I copied the picture a hundred times and made her wallpaper a slideshow of the same picture over and over and over again so the file would change but nothing would change visibly on the monitor the pictures would change every 10 seconds on one of the images I painted a little curly mustache on her so randomly for 10 seconds my niece would have a mustache my mom thought she was either losing her mind or had a computer virus and every time the mustache popped up it was gone by the time she tried to show anyone man that's like Advanced type of gaslighting right there I came into the office early and switched as many M and N keys on the keyboard as I could some might say I'm a monster but others that say I'm a monster I want to record an audiobook that's eight hours of breathing and Page turning then just Oh you mean out loud right at the end ibuphobia ibophobia the irrational fear of palindromes words that in line at McDonald's little kid behind me screaming he wants an apple pie at his mother I get to the counter I'll have a number three large and excuse me how many apple pies do you have back there 12. I'll take them all that happened I made life-size airpod stickers and stuck them on the ground all over the city I mean I understand the funniness of a prank like this but uh thanks for littering the downstairs neighbor just installed a stripper pole hook a car battery to it there was a little boy in line with his mom she went to get something at the last second he begged me to slow down I scanned his items as fast as possible when I was done I asked him to pay and he started crying climate protesters glue themselves to Porsche Museum but need to go potty staff simply left turning off heat and lights rather than calling the police what's the purpose of protesting a Porsche Museum I'm just I'm a little used about the motives power move next time you go to the airport bring a bottle of shampoo but it's filled with yogurt when they tell you that liquids aren't allowed drink it when I'm bored I come to Walmart and put these on people's car windows call me I'm pregnant one thing kids like is to be tricked for instance I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland but instead I drove him to an old burned out Warehouse oh no I said Disneyland burned down he cried and cried but I think that deep down he thought it was a pretty good joke I started to drive over to the real Disneyland but it was getting pretty late if you could telepathically say something at all 7.8 billion people on Earth could hear it once what would it be you picked the correct religion I am real this is the proof you've been asking for oh yeah the world would blow up when I'm a doctor doing a surgery right before the person goes out under the anesthesia I'm going to say okay pull up the wikiHow article are you Satan no they're lying me good night kids kids good night Dad me good night monster that eats children who are bad good night I did something similar to Zach once we had a couple of walkie-talkies in the house so I turned both of them on the pair that I had put one under his bed and just made freaky noises in eighth grade I had a teacher who if he caught you reading would take your book Away read the ending then threaten to tell you the ending if he caught you reading it again wow can you imagine that punishing someone for reading look I know that you're supposed to be paying attention but can you imagine doing that because they were reading a book Jesus Christ just tell them to stop reading the book I'm at a Walmart parking lot watching a woman who can't remember where she parked every time she holds her remote in the air I honk my horn I grounded my kid and this was his response oh got no kids hire a babysitter anyway say your kids asleep upstairs and must not be disturbed then upon your return ask where your child is not funny a daycare dad cut me off in the parking lot so I went early yesterday and taught his kid how to ride a bike you can never get that back damn straight my teacher left the room during a test so we all started sharing answers then I look up and she was staring right at me what the [ __ ] hell dude oh my God tell me your deepest darkest desire stealing your last three chicky nuggies and watching Beautiful Agony roll down your sorrowful features one Nuggie bite at a time daughter doesn't want it freaks her out I want to get my money back best offer I'll give you a hundred dollars to tell her it's sold hide it in the attic for two weeks take it out and put it back in her room while she's sleeping that's enough to give someone a legit heart palpitation man I mean you gotta chill hold on I'm thirsty oh fun fact crows can talk just like parents do it requires a process called freeing their tongue don't ask but yes I want to train a flock of them to it's a murder it's called a murder but yes I want to train a murder of them to say run and release them onto a hiking trail I want to ask how many nightmares do you want to give people to all of them caution this contains rubber balls and gumballs Kidz Bop Russian Roulette how to make a character's death sadder okay let's see don't have them die of old age after a long fulfilling life many people don't even think of this as sad no this can still work if you have enough of the other factors leave one of their major goals unfinished the more enthusiastic they are about completing the goal of the Saturn give them strong relationships with other characters make them fight against whatever's causing their death their ultimate loss is sadder if they struggle kill them in the middle of their character Arc don't describe their funeral in detail maybe it's just me but I find that long descriptions of funerals kill the sadness man I don't want to read your book I had all this ground meat and I made a meat baby now no one wants to eat and all the kids won't stop screaming all the kids I want to make an infomercial where it's not clear what the guy is selling like he's demonstrating how powerful his vacuum is by sucking up a bowling ball but then he starts showing you how strong the bowling ball is by dropping it on some knives but then he's showing how the knives haven't been damaged At All by using them to cut through some shoes and it goes on and on and on for two hours and then just Loops back to the start while a number of flashes on the screen the whole time or while eight number flashes on screen the whole time and if you call it it just Echoes whatever you say back to you I would be down to help pay for this trick seriously damn it the secret of happiness is I'm son of a [ __ ] as if the place isn't terrifying enough oh boy ah the passer through walls sculpture in the Paris catacombs some french guy you know what would be [ __ ] up to see in the catacombs so my daughter just bought a house that was built in the late 1800s we found this and she threw it out I got it out of the trash let the games begin tomorrow's lunch the eighth deadly sin it is an insult to God what the hell am I looking at be naked at my sister's wedding my sister's having an outdoor wedding in New Canaan New Canaan Court in May I want someone to be naked in the woods and to run through the wedding in order to ruin it I will protect you from my family naked in the woods that looks like Manhattan what what Woods in Manhattan you mean like in Central Park because that also doesn't look like Central Park I don't know I'm not a New Yorker I don't care you know how Pantry shelves are a certain size what if we make our family size boxes just a little bigger than that serial executive first of all I love it oh no I think I've seen this one so you want hair extensions yes I want to surprise my husband super what do you think oh fantastic honey I'm back nap time Perfect babe babe wake up oh God you're finally awake babe you've been asleep for two years mean get tuna and put it in hard to reach places in his room like in his curtain rods when it starts to go bad he'll never know where the smell else coming from and he won't be able to get rid of it then buy him a diffuser and grind pollen in it so he's always sick and itchy what the [ __ ] if you had to design a harmless but Annoying virus what would it do you have a strong urge to sneeze but can't actually sneeze that is torture ketchup oh yes I was looking for a soap dispenser labeled ketchup with a picture of grapes I really want this bottle in my bathroom I place it next to matching decorative soaps and towels as if it seems like it fits but I'll actually fill the thing up with ketchup so when I have guests over and they decide to use the bathroom they'll see this bottle and have a moment of cognitive dissonance this salt bottle in the bathroom is labeled ketchup so surely It Must Have Spent soap instead of ketchup despite the label saying ketchup right and then let them have a moment of realization followed by abject horror as they pump vicious vicious viscous ketchup all over their hands instead of soap I need it a single man once booked every other seat in a cinema to split up couples on Valentine's Day well I'm sure that if they show up and realize the theater's mostly empty they're not gonna care they're just gonna sit where they want my ex works in a pharmacy so whenever I want to spoil her mood I'll just go there and buy a condom for no reason sometimes I go three times a day my neighbor told me coyotes keep eating his outdoor cats so I asked how many cats he has and he said he just goes to the shelter and gets a new cat afterwards so I said it sounds like he's just beating shelter cats to coyotes and then his daughter started crying today's Wi-Fi password can be unlocked by texting a photo of a clean kitchen to Mom said photograph must contain one box of crackers on the counter oh by the stove to prove oh I see not reusing any photos thank you for playing May the odds be ever in your favor love Mom not bad mom well played well played today I was so bored I saw an ant in my kitchen and I placed a few sugar cubes in front of her she had some and went to tell her friends and I quickly hid the sugar cubes because I wanted them to think she's a liar oh I see polymer balls that are invisible in water imagine putting like 10 in in someone's bath and they get in and then you start freaking out because there's something touching me but there's nothing in the water or what the hell you're not thinking big enough make them in the shape of people with huge long fingers and hide one in every swimming pool in America we gotta chill though guys replace a semicolon with a Greek question mark in your friend's JavaScript and watch them pull their hair out over the syntax error feel like coders are all evil my conspiracy theory is that there's no such thing as witness protection when the government erases your identity they just [ __ ] kill you it's cheaper easier and when people are like no seriously where are they they can be like I know right how good are we loving the idea of someone in witness protection scrolling through Twitter seeing this tweet and being angry because they know I'm wrong but they can't say it I make cupcakes out of soap everything in them is soap even the sprinkles oh you suck I'm going to make a new font called times new bastard it's Times New Roman but every seventh letter is jarringly sans-serif oh no with one line you've activated every bone in my body and all of them are in attack mode your skeleton has been turned on after much thought and consideration I've come to the scientific conclusion that we should use light show drones to scare the out of uncontacted tribes that image is fake uh people always said that it was in celebration of Dia de los Muertos but that's Mount Fuji in the background so I don't know what this picture is although I do agree I mean look if we're gonna be evil we may as well be evil right game show idea 11 gay men and one straight man are locked in a house the object for the gay men is to find out who isn't gay once a week someone gets outvoted until two are left or the straight man is out if the gays manage to outvote him they win a million dollars if the straight man is among the last two people in the house in the end he wins a million dollars now here's the twist none of them are gay they all just think they're the one straight man the neighbor's kids challenge us to a water fight I'm in just waiting for the water to boil oh wait no customer came in complaining of hearing a whistle coming from the engine I was able to diagnose the issue as them having at all friends oh my God I need to find a harmonica stat my niece turned three today she asked for a Lion King cake but specifically the moment where Mufasa dies because everyone will be too sad to eat the cake [Laughter] so I'm just looking at Mufasa that poor bastard three three I noticed that while I was peeing in a public restroom that some dude was sitting in the stall quietly as if he was waiting for me to leave so I went to the door opened it let it Creak shut and waited I heard him sigh in relief and then start very audibly so I yelled I heard you and then I left I bet he died oh man finally to have a drink at lunch oh you don't have a classic can opener just punch a hole in that my seven-year-old just back talked me tomorrow while he's at school I'm logging into Minecraft and destroying her [ __ ] Village don't destroy it just plant a ton of TNT with a pressure plate around her so she destroys it when she logs in damn I remember that one that hurts okay to make one of these of these so my sister's dog had her front leg amputated today I suggested they take the amputated leg to attack sodermist then they could throw the leg around the backyard and the dog could fetch it the three-legged dog could still enjoy her fourth leg no one really liked my idea gee whackers I wonder why first exchange it for twenty dollars worth of nickels then sneak into a friend's house and place said nickels on top of blades on the ceiling fan while it's turned off then just sit back and wait for inevitable angry call after they spring the Trap and make it hail on themselves you thought this through no no no you don't put coins on the fan blades you wait until it's winter time because not much need for a ceiling fan on in the winter and cover all the tops of the blades in glitter then just sit back wait a few months they'll have absolutely no idea who did such a thing or even when and years down the road as they're still dealing with the Fallout of the glitter they won't even know why you know I can throw my hat into the ring for being Satan this time around I actually recently purchased a and you're gonna think this is great an MC Hammer action figure why because it had a sealed cassette tape in it that I wanted as I collect cassette tapes what I did though was I took the cassette out kept it for myself sitting on my shelf right now and then I took one of my blank cassette tapes and recorded me reading scp-1250 that's one two five zero of course I really really hope that I'm correct on that number it's really hard to keep track of all the SCP titles and whatnot but one two five zero I think and then I put that blanket set back into the package with MC Hammer literally glued the Box shut again so they're gonna think they're opening a brand new product and donated it to Goodwill and I cannot wait I cannot wait to occupy that person's mind forever I mean come on what are we here for if not to have fun instead of polluting the planet with confetti a hole punch leaves instead huh you know what this may be a little extra maybe just a little extra but dude look honestly I support this entirely you know you get your entire confetti supply for the year every Autumn it's free No One's Gonna care if you steal a leaf every now and then go for it congrats you found a jiggy one of a hundred I'd make 99 of them skipping 69 because I'm a child and drive this what huh dude I had a fear of apple juice for the first five years of my life because I didn't believe apple juice was real and it was just piss when I was a kid I would give people apple juice mixed with warm water and tell them it was my pee when they drank my parents told me my sister is adopted they didn't tell her she's 34. by the way help what do I do buy the whole family DNA test kits for Christmas and watch the world burn now that would take too long at that point just tell her if I was a famous author I would publish a book with 10 different endings which all went to print with varying degrees of Rarity but not tell the fans about it so that I could watch their confusion as they disagree over how the story ended then when they figure it out I would come clean telling them that I had released 11 alternate endings and watched them Panic again as they all try to find the last one are you Satan favorite new thing scratching haunting things into bananas now I've already done that who cares years ago my mother-in-law began reading The Exorcist she said it was the most evil book she had ever read so evil in fact she couldn't finish it took it over to the beach and threw it into the ocean off a fishing pier I went and bought another copy ran the faucet over it and left it in the night table drawer by her bed my father-in-law said that night was the first time she ever screamed and fainted I'm going to hell but I'll go laughing I don't even know the translation of LOL lots of love so if you ever get bad news about a family member who's just died send an LOL can we stop with the Jack Black Demon devil thing can we stop I'm not going to read it I've done it too many times my kid was being a brat so I de marshmallowed his Lucky Charms you son of a person that's a great punishment Crayola's new markers designed to be impossible to connect end to end to prevent kids from making lightsabers in class why would you do that though what's the point of that loudest sounds ever would be funny to put one of this sounds in the middle of a ASMR video [Laughter] you guys ever want to see a great video look up bank robbery ASMR I'm not kidding man I really miss switching these two tapes at Blockbuster ah you [ __ ] selling my house leaving this in the crawl space in the basement for the new owners as a housewarming gift that's pretty good I remember distinctly when I moved out of a rental I took everything out naturally that's how you move out and then I actually had my friend Brandon who's on MK asks tape my outline laying on the floor so it looked like someone was killed there my husband wanted a sweet treat I made orange rolls to keep it interesting one of these has nacho cheese on it okay you're mean the single most important thing a man can do to be an ally is give his woman friends permission to give dudes at the bar his number so when they call he can angrily say that's not funny because she died 15 years ago that very night so my uncle got a drone and now he's [ __ ] with people that's awesome though I hope your phone charger gets damaged to where it doesn't completely break but only works at certain angles can you not curse me with that I had to deal with one of those like literally a week ago hey if a public bathroom door is locked don't forget to try to repeatedly open it and give the person using it paralyzing anxiety the planet is about to end and you get the aux cord for Humanity what's the last song we're all going to hear oh no doubt about it we're all getting Rick Rolled you know the rules and so do I you wouldn't get this from any other species put a mirror on the stairs and scare the crap out of everyone that is a lot of lawsuits waiting to happen but again how would they file it they don't know you put it there my neighbors are talking about me while I'm outside smoking saying I'm a bad mom and they only hear me yelling at Phoebe and they never have actually seen me take my daughter out of the house Phoebe is my cat I would so play into this baby no you can't sit at the table you gotta eat off the floor Phoebe you're sleeping outside tonight baby stop acting up you've given me no choice but to remove your uterus and ovaries I don't know anybody that's ever used that as a punishment for their pets man Dr Satan man what one time I got pulled over so I got the cop's name from the ticket and used it to find his Facebook then his wife's Facebook she was pregnant then I found her due date and rescheduled my court date for the birth of his firstborn child oh evil no really [ __ ] me mean that is well I mean hopefully she's right on time you know being right on time seems to happen all the time for pregnancies right okay y'all I'm pranking my sis let's hope she surpance I'm going to be real with you this is more than a pant type of scare this is the type of scare that sends you to the [ __ ] doctor press your face up against some glass take a picture print it laminate it put it in a large jar and then put that jar in the fridge again far beyond a pantry scare step one get cheese puffs step two cover them in melted chocolate step three solidify the chocolate by freezing them and then put them in a Whopper box step 4 feed to friends or family that's a lot of effort I don't want to do getting him an empty PS5 box and filling it with a thousand reasons of why you love him look I'm all for silly joke presents I really am but you better have something real afterwards not not saying that you're a 1 000 reasons of why you love him wouldn't be appreciated but depending on what he got you this could be kind of rude I'm just saying if he put in a big effort for your gift and come on you gotta have a real one afterwards right something we get some kids riled up for pizza and then leave I've seen this it's devastating I cried Daddy won't Santa burn himself if he comes down the chimney you're right sweetie let's put the fire out no leave it on I remember back when I used to make content with Sam Gladiator like a long time ago I'm talking almost 10 years now I remember we had a channel called the pirateers and we actually made a cringy little Minecraft Machinima using this exact joke okay not exactly but we did the whole Santa falls on the fire Bren Daniels in it it's great he gonna scare the sh out of the next person who uses the toilet I mean thanks for the help but I can [ __ ] on my own what's a movie that doesn't seem like it would have a lot of sex scenes but does I want to recommend movie with a ton of sex scenes to my cousin to watch with his family I want suffering uh sensor's broken just say it's Burger time we'll be happy to take your order when I was in high school we had a friend that worked at Wendy's and a day he was on drive through we visited but also taped a sign to the box that said microphone broken please scream order he got almost an hour of screaming orders until somebody finally went out to see what the hell was going on with the box that's a cute joke though I mean hopefully he doesn't get in trouble for it though because if you got him fired you guys I just unscrewed the [ __ ] toilet lid and put it on backwards so when my family comes home I need to take a they need to fix it first wow okay we found Satan again defusing the bomb with just a second or two left hey we better put a big digital readout on this bomb that we'll never see again so the hero knows exactly how much time he has to defuse it if if I built a timer like that I'd make it go off with like 20 minutes to go oh boy this post blew up unexpectedly I've photoshopped Waldo out and sent this to friends they're going to die when I visit friends houses that have an Alexa I secretly set alarms for sleeping times you monster I mean I've done something kind of similar I think it's freaking hilarious one time in math class my teacher was really pissed at us and he was yelling do you even know basic math do you know addition what's two plus two Corey what's two plus two and poor Corey wasn't paying attention so I leaned over to him and whispered seven and he blurted out seven and I've never laughed harder and I doubt I ever will that definitely happened for every hoodie slash shirt she takes I put a pair of underwear that's too small for her in her dresser that way no that's not right that's just not right you're given one wish but everything you wish happens to everyone what is your wish I wish I'd sh myself right now I'm in the bathroom so the aftermath for everyone else is gonna be hilarious three rules no wishing for death no falling in love and no bring back dead people I wish to make people feel like they're going to sneeze but never do there are four rules what's your deepest darkest secret one time I told a guy it was theft to Google for code Snippets and he quit programming because it was too hard step one build several mounds of snow in your yard step two make eye holes in the Mounds facing the neighbor's house step 3 add glow sticks is this your front yard because holy God whoever pissed in this soap dispenser wow sorry Mom phoned you by accident no worries had you by accident how do you come back from that you can't on your girlfriend's back and send her the picture here are your grandkids you'll never have oh I turn hot dog water into ice cubes for guests that I don't like I've seen some evil [ __ ] done before but this is the equivalent to spitting on somebody that's so evil know that that's a lawsuit I never wish death upon anyone who wronged me I wish for sudden diarrhea while stuck in traffic with frequent sneezes okay Facebook good morning hope everyone's enjoying their breakfast on an unrelated note here are my gallstones just label it chocolates and leave it on the coffee table single man in China once booked every other seat in a cinema theater to split up couples on Valentine's Day I've heard this before is it even remotely real babysitting I gave my nephews five dollars each and told them to hold it against the wall with their nose whoever dropped it first would lose with the winner uh getting to keep both kept them busy for three hours this is how I wrapped my brother's gift this year 156 screws it only opens one way you are [ __ ] crazy in sixth grade I told people that they were entering the wrong bathroom as they were walking in when I cook with cilantro I throw in a little soap too so no one feels genetically Superior to anyone else what new torture idea this is in your [ __ ] notes all right I got a new idea for Satan to torture people with make the person listen to their favorite songs but instead of hearing the singer they hear their own drunk ass voice trying to sing along nah Satan's still gonna skin you even though it costs 2500 it was still the best prank Josh ever pulled on his twin brother what introducing the [ __ ] everyone else's eyes three thousand welding hood can we unintroduce that please be me working at GameStop parent asks for a game called Cod tell her there's no game called Cod but her son probably meant rub holla Rapala Pro Bass Fishing there are lots of fish in that game and it's the closest we have have a ton of copies in the back we have a deal on if you buy two copies you get one free she buys three brand new copies of this game she comes back after Christmas all three copies have been opened no refund because you opened them a kid out there received three copies of a fit no it wasn't a kid out there that received three copies she bought three copies for a bunch of different people they that she knew oh my God how terrible of you you know you're a really mean guy I wouldn't want you working at my local GameStop also there's no way those kids actually opened these up they know what game they asked for what's wrong here a bucketification the comma you are the easiest is to find the mistake good luck finiting it but trust me it's very tricky to finite this cover charge that was built on every item ordered and was not listed on the menu website or entrance okay what the hell is even the cover charge for the cover charge protected it from flies because we put a lid on the food my brother just emailed this to my whole school isn't canceled um genuinely hope this brother doesn't get punished because anyone who would actually adhere to this is an idiot and if anything just exposes how stupid they are more than a test ever could this kid isn't causing a nuisance he's just doing an old-fashioned culling of the herd what is wrong with this keyboard you can't tell can you but something something makes you uncomfortable it was me I swapped the M and N keys my partner wrongly thinks I've never seen Lord of the Rings so he wants a marathon of all the extended editions what can I say to wind him up during it okay this is brilliant this is the perfect combatant towards uh mansplaining Behavior a lot of guys expose from a redditor of course it's from a redditor say is this cause absolute internal turmoil especially if you argue that it is because The Hobbit book came first and is set chronologically before it oh God oh God that's genuinely my opinion though oh no that's one way to learn that that is wrong refer to Lord of the Rings as the sequel Trilogy and compare it to the Star Wars sequels if you do go down this route I recommend having at least one pet photo in your Tinder profile it gets you a lot more matches I have the best April Fool I go to work with a box filled with normal cookies that I made myself and I write happy April 1st on a note I'll see everyone getting paranoid of what I didn't do to the cookies and I'll be able to bring the cookies back since no one would dare to eat one that's especially good if you can add some sort of like weird food coloring to them just subtle enough where it doesn't look like obvious food diet but enough to think that's not a normal cookie as a teacher you're sometimes privileged to witness life moments I saw a girl approach a boy to ask if he wanted her number he paused then pulled out his phone uttered joy on the girl's face I then confiscated the phone as it's against the rules to have it out in the corridor my man why Vicky just ordered spike strips so people will stop using her circular driveway to turn around I hate to be this person but I'm pretty tired of people using my circular drive as a pull through turnaround so much so that I posted a sign at the end of my driveway apparently that isn't enough that said I just put two of these in my Amazon cart they will be here Monday things will work out the way they work out May the odds be ever in your favor co-workers said she would only accept an official Apple Mouse so I dug this out of storage and left it on her desk you've been hit by you've been struck by malicious compliance do identifying paranoid schizophrenics and dming them random number sequences every 15 minutes it's 2023 now everything's artificially grown that's right even serial killers I just go to parties to Frick with the appliances while the host is distracted I like to break dishwashers the most copy that never invite anyone named Rodney oh Jesus Christ that wow okay hello Great Wall of text buckle up buckaroos I want to learn this version of the song so well that I can sing it flawlessly and with complete and utter confidence then I'll go to a karaoke bar but not just any karaoke bar I'll find the one with the largest number of the most drunk people in the city then I'll sing this version of the song those who aren't as drunk will start to suspect they drink more than they thought those who are drunk will either think it's a beautiful rendition of the normal song or just be more lost than they have ever felt in their entire existence and those who are sober the designated drivers they will find themselves rather puzzled they would have thought such words such an uh version of the song could only come from someone completely and utterly hammered but I shall sing it perfectly perfect enunciation Perfect Pitch and as they stare in the sheer and utter confusion perhaps a couple of the more drunk people sing along a little getting the original words mixed up by my influence the sober people will start to second-guess themselves did they accidentally get my drink wrong and put alcohol in it have I been drugged am I just horribly misremembering the lyrics but he hasn't stumbled over his words at all he's singing with complete confidence it sounds so wrong but why would someone sing it unintentionally on purpose and they might even start to question if maybe just maybe these have been the lyrics the whole time I know you remember them differently day but this is all the lyrics have ever been and when the song has finished and the cheers Rise Up from the crowd some more confused than others I will take my encore one time someone mistakenly texted me it's done so I just texted back excellent shoot me his head and you'll get your payment edits the person was freaked out and sent back I think I got the wrong number please don't hurt me and never contacted me again may he rest after a great career Peter Cullen 1941 to now he's still alive it gets worse the longer you look whatever you do you mean just a bunch of normal gorgeous looking ladies Mrs teapot clearly needed to put a top on Jesus woman come on there's a Disney Channel though nothing can compare to Princess Belle's dumpy drunk and bumpy booty The Impossible puzzle for when you've just given up on any sort of fun in your life and you just wanted you know yeah you don't want to end things but you still want to suffer you know if I had a blind friend I would leave the plunger in the toilet and then after consistently doing this for months you'll stop leaving the plunger in there and they'll still habitually reach their hand down thinking that maybe something's there up toilet water someone please call the police let's play a game uh oh stinky poopies funny boobies they really used to call us out of class for a big assembly to Jazz us up to sell overpriced stuff so the school could get a cut wait what we were kids man what the actual heck was that this is never a thing in Australia what and I was poor as hell no one I knew was buying that stuff so I just ended up feeling like I was failing my class hang on okay well let me let me catch up with you here your school your place of safety and residence and educating you for the world lure you into a pyramid scheme where they utilized you feeling like you would like what group think where you'd feel ashamed and not part of the pack if you weren't selling as well as everyone else so they could get more money wow a priest who temporarily died reveals he went to hell and they were playing Rihanna's umbrella as torture snitch real question is why is a priest ending up in hell when you write a letter to Satan instead of Santa asking for a puppy it's beautiful it ain't my little brother so now I can hug them at the same time I just realized something what if you fill a room with 20 people who all have social anxiety that would be pure evil oh I can just see America turning this into some sort of big brother-esque reality show it's like that idea of getting 20 guys into a house and one of them's gay and the task is to find out who's the gay person before the end of the show but the twist is that no one is gay they're all straight have fun over analyzing each other boys decisions in a world where fries don't exist what are you putting this on baked potatoes baked carrot baked parsnip baked or fried tofu bread crispy bread puffed rice cakes salads feta cheese maybe something else yeah I love ketchup disappointed in the lack of Nutella along that answer but okay pretty day by the beach oh what prank puzzles that's the thing now I feel like a company genuinely screwed up their printing one day and were like screw it let's just roll with it what's the worst thing you could possibly wear in a funeral hmm dress is the Grim Reaper and if you want to go above and beyond go up to the coffin pick the body up and say don't worry I'll be back for one of you this is a good one no it isn't it I've been stalking this random guy on Reddit for a few months now just following his profile and replying to his comments in various subreddits he replied to most of them and after a while he realized it was the same guy replying to him constantly at first he did the typical let it hey friend though fancy seeing you here seems like we like the same heck and subreddits but now he stopped replying this means he's finally creeped out by me and might have blocked me but even if he has blocked me he'll still see blocked user underneath all of his comments my goal is to make him have a mental breakdown or force him to create a new Reddit account if he creates a new account I have an AI tool where I can paste all of his comments and compare it to the comments on the various subreddits he visits so I'll be able to track him down again Jesus my replies to his comments aren't mean or anything I usually agree with him on everything I just make sure he knows I'm always watching him a roundabout that contains five mini roundabouts location is Swindon you okay that's a weird way to spell hell well done UK you managed to turn around about into something difficult how why can't there just be one round about why do you need five they shall feel the wrath of thousands of tired and sad writers that suffer from creativity block what the hell is this in relation to hey wanna see my butt I have a boyfriend wait what did I say you said this screenshot turned hey yo get your girl bruh what she's just going ahead and telling people this man my brother is freaking done message from Dad [ __ ] what your brother told me to send it to you it means kiss yourself or love yourself love you son okay [Music] phobia uncountable fear of long words at this point I feel like the medical Fields is more about torturing people than helping them replace my siblings clear glue with water it's you yep you're the problem it's you ARF drizzle are you all alone I've got parents and siblings lots of Rich relatives friends and even a model girlfriend I knew a guy who worked in a morgue and when he was new to the job his co-workers encouraged him to prank The Boss by getting on a slap in one of the drawers to jump scare him when he pulled him out so he strips off lies on the slab and the co-workers cover him up slide the slab away and close the door thing is inside the storage there are no walls between the slabs so he's lying there in the dark with all the corpses becoming increasingly anxious after about five minutes the corpse next to him says calden here isn't it and he tried to sit up so fast he nearly knocked himself out it was his boss in the slab next to him that's screwed up man wow when I was 11 I found out my brother was lactose intolerant so when he was sleeping I put a humidifier filled with milk and his room and watched him to himself while he was sleeping what that that needs to be a crime can we oh my God in 2004 I won a contest to DJ at my very small hometown's easy listening radio station I proceeded to play an hour of evanescence deep cuts and ruined everyone's morning routine oh wait commute either way same thing I love most though how you a 2004 look exactly like someone who would have listened to Evanescence on replay Satan the guy who farted and said do you smell popcorn so that everyone takes a deep breath when your siblings are fighting so you decide to snitch on them the blade for a while the infected spiders are able to live on in a zombie-like state enveloped by the fungus but slowly and surely the fungus consumes their living tissue and kills them the only tolerable thing about this murderous fungi is that it's harmless to humans why why is there three dots there though why are there three dots guys well almost almost once the spider's body has succumbed to the fungus its tormented spider cell is released into the world then when you are sleeping these ghost spiders Focus Sanctus rise up and March into your ear canal where they lay their eggs when the zombie spiderlings hatch out they Feast on your brain until they reach adulthood then they climb out through your eye sockets and go and search for their next victims unethical left Pro tip save business cards of people you don't like if you ever hit a parked car accidentally just write sorry on the back and leave it on the windshield better yet try putting the business card with sari on the windshield even if you didn't hit the parked car they'll spend good amount of time looking for what is wrong with their car then after giving up they'll finally flip the business card over and it'll say about your face single men in China once booked every other seat in a cinema theater to split up couples on Valentine's Day and they say money doesn't buy happiness all these mother flippers are freaking useless imagine asking someone what time you should be somewhere and they send you this tiny butt analog clock okay I'm gonna start doing that from now on now on Monday cheese steaks will be free to anyone wearing a Kansas City Chief's Jersey to anywhere in the city of Philadelphia that sells them pretty cool if you ask me can't wait to get mine you're a burglar but you only steal things to slightly inconvenience your victims what are you stealing one piece from each jigsaw puzzle edit or every cork I am getting my own internet set up today and my landlord texted this to me to be clear you are still responsible for the monthly share 10 internet fee since you are living there and still have access to it even if you have your own modem yeah sure thing my man if you can just show me where I signed agreeing to that nowhere oh no guess you'll have to pay for it yourself even though it's a tax deduction for you anyway I accidentally said large at Starbucks and the Barista started crying oh I don't do it on accident I pretend to struggle with it and watch them struggle internally from the interaction the awkwardness the way they internalize everything they want to say apparently submitting assignments before the due date is considered late hello Professor Ed how are you I am writing to you because there was a grading mistake from the assignment that was due on February 1st it shows that you marked off 10 points as a late penalty however as you can see on canvas I properly submitted the document in a timely manner before the due date at 11 46 pm on the 1st of the 31st oh God damn it America on first the 30 31 the first month of the 31st day 2023 please let me know whenever you fix the gray Aid and your dating system thank you blue hi blue I have just now checked and see that the assignment was submitted 13 minutes before the poster due date that's great however now what why now you must understand that it was handed in on a last minute basis which is the reason why you received a late penalty as a result I will not be removing the late penalty deduction and would advise you to submit your work no less than an hour before the due date moving forward that's cool if you could just show us where in your grading Manual of sorts where that's an actual thing uh that'd be great we'd love to actually see the evidence would have been funny if the dots just didn't change color and everyone thought they were suddenly colorblind swapped the keys again okay you can't ask us to find them and then just put the answers there already this isn't a school assignment I'd like to actually try my boyfriend and I made a list of people we could have it on with if we ever got the chance he chose Margot Robbie Charlize Theron and Scarlett Johansson I chose my daughter's biology teacher the Barista at Starbucks and his younger brother well that was a nice relationship I'm at Michael's in La Mal this old lady just bought something really expensive with only one dollar bills they have a team of people counting when I was like 11 I was getting bullied by this girl and my mom let me know she heard her parents were getting divorced and to tell her that neither of them wanted her which I did and it worked but like mom see that's the moment you realize you and your mum would have never been friends in high school she would have probably been the one bullying you and your first wish is triple world hunger um and your second double student debt now then uh what's your third wish going to be make mosquitoes explosive when crushed geez no he drove over 20 hours to find this diamond ring someone threw in the water on a tick tock video notes in The Tick Tock it says after 22 years he cheated I'm free and then throwing it into the water what should we do about that Satan Now find the person who threw it put it under her pillow with a note saying you are not free calm down Satan down there we go one wheelchair at a time don't worry the cements surrounding the garden but there is really soft my dad kind of messed up the tortillas look at hey it's still edible okay that's what matters my total after using a 50 discount [Laughter] wow I think they failed to realize that the more they do this the more just incentivizes people to see a promotion from them and to avoid it like the plague my science teacher in Middle School always told us about how if he ever got a dog he would name it I don't have a dog and go to Doug Parks yelling I don't have a dog making it look like he was stealing other people's dogs and playing mind tricks on people who asked what his dog's name was some people just have no chill in this world this guy in my school aka me put this sticker here it says push but the door is only openable from the inside and there you have to push and so I look in Amusement when people try it the mind and Satan speaks in many languages I eat twice as much meat just so one vegan that thinks they're making a difference is making no difference at all this is the only valid reason to glue Lego oh I sometimes glue two Lego Two by Two Plates together and ask my friends to help me split them edit I no longer have any friends I have eaten two Bibles in the last week they're just so tasty oh no don't do this please don't do this oh before my mom passed away she gave my dad strict instructions to water the plants in the bathroom he's been religiously watering them and keeping them alive they look so amazing he decided to take them to his new home only to discover their plastic I can hear my mom chuckling that is genius I would do that hey it's the cosplay guy that's pretty impressive how is this guy able to do everything so well he is next level you know I genuinely believe that this guy and Popeye are the only two people in human history existed or not that were built different so much effort to disappoint someone fill the baskets with dirty laundry and dishes so the recipient has something to do while crying about getting junk cheese calm down I am a merciful god let's see 200 cc so we're going real fast no teams no custom items hard com all vehicles random four races I don't want to play with you no no I don't want to play with you someone switched out most of the keys from last period oh what never been this disappointed in my life oh that's just mean that's not right that should be illegal quite literally but by literally what pill that makes you experience when your blankets are so warm but you have to grab something that's just Out Of Reach and ruin your comfort and you won't be able to get it back why is everyone so straight up evil why are you all so mean told my son we could watch the Mario Bros early oh oh yeah you laugh but that movie kicks ass is it a good representation of Mario no is that movie fun as hell and super Nifty yeah it is man I even bought a Blu-ray region free from Australia that it is awesome it looks so good losing my mind just offer the aisle seat to the guy sitting between me and my girlfriend on a flight and he said he'd rather stay in the middle seat between us huh well that just seems [ __ ] weird on his part at my next job I'm gonna lie about having a kid so I can leave the office anytime I want like everyone else with children might just say my imaginary child has diabetes so I have to take him to the doctor each and every each and every what after two weeks or monthly I mean if we really wanted comic book movies to be faithful to the source material rather than spending 100 million dollars on one movie what you do is give 20 million dollars each to five different directors release all five resulting movies in theaters at the same time and make sure that each movie's plot refers to the events of all the other movies plots in such a way that whichever of the five movies you watch first will be entirely incomprehensible and every possible viewing order is wrong I would like to see this experiment done and I think Disney could definitely waste a bunch of money on it my sister doesn't like to eat the fried part of onion rings so she just likes Hot onion that's that's the part she likes is just the warm onion bit come on I saw a kid crying so I asked him where his parents were and he started crying more anyways working at an orphanage is fun yeah okay I owed money to someone and I had to take the opportunity to ruin their day how much did you owe them like a dollar fifty what the hold on a second hold on let's see I don't know are these pants I can't tell it doesn't matter it doesn't look like you owed them very much money anyway you petty little got this in an Xmas cracker at school the cracker was from a pack aimed at like five-year-old kids gingerbread man candy mittens uh box star stick a turkey leg and a sneaker and let your dog patrol your yard that'll teach the mailman to try and get you your packages everyone deserves Mercy I make fake X buttons on mobile game ads most people deserve Mercy nope you know what would be funny don't tell anybody this because I might actually do it but what if I learned to code specifically so I could make a program called polybius and put it on the creepy laptop I have and bring it to school by the way polybius is an urban legend about an arcade game that makes people go insane I think it's an SCP now too I think it would be a funny prank that's so evil but it's perfect I need to hear more about this because it would be way cooler if we could actually make polybius yeah I know people have made their own custom cabinets and whatnot but you know what I mean I'm a good person one a newbie asks for a good anime to watch yikes dude why do we have Boku no pico de gallo on there as gross get out that's gross beads in my pill dispenser courtesy of my daughters oh they're trying to kill you sir I'm going to take all your laffy taffies and leave them out in the sun for just enough time that upon looking at them it seems normal but when you open them you'll see it's melted and fused to the wrapper and when you try to get the wrapper off it doesn't work but it keeps tearing and you get stuck with a Taffy that has small unremovable plastic wrapper strips all over it macro Plastics I prefer my microplastics to be wild caught a post at my sister's apartment please please disconnect from my speaker to the person who keeps connecting their device to my speaker and playing adult videos please disconnect from our device it's very upsetting to hear your adult videos on our speaker at all hours of the day turn it off not saying it's your fault they definitely should chill on this creepy sooner rather than later but you just leave it on and deal with it one time when I had salt and vinegar Pringles that nobody who I know likes I tossed them in with the good ones sour cream and onion and then gave them to everybody that they didn't like it I like it posting wow pretty problematic under every single person's Spotify rap and then responding it's not my job to educate you when they ask what I mean by that that right there is exactly what's wrong with Twitter this dude's using it as a joke but this is just what people actually do my classmate occasionally says no pun intended after a sentence he then proceeds to watch the confusion on their victims faces and smiles you know I've tried to do that to people before but for some strange reason they genuinely actually earnestly think that I am incredibly stupid and then they actually get kind of mad at me for apparently being stupid so I don't do that anymore I enjoy getting my sleeves wet when I wash my hands all right bye I sent this prank puzzle to my grandpa who loves Trump and he finally started it today is this your idea of a joke yeah you're not welcome here for Christmas your grandpa is furious oh no oh no someone remixed my game on scratch to insult you when you die holy crap you're an idiot stupid get beaned I like get beamed crowd laugh oh this is awesome also I haven't seen scratch in so many years holy crap dude ggs okay and I hope you have an itchy feeling on your insides on your insides no if I change my ringtone to the catchy PornHub intro sound then I would be able to know who watches PornHub on the regular if they look at me funny yeah that's something people forget about you tell on yourself just as much as the person with the ringtone does you know come on you got you gotta be careful here if anyone ever calls me a coward I hope that the next time you piss that you can't stop even when you die and that every piece of food you eat will contain at least two cockroaches forever okay Jesus Lucifer trending so I figured uh it'd be a good time to post this Santa isn't real sorry kids go cry to your dad at least I have one dude Santa's the most powerful mutant in the Marvel Universe Satan so I'd be careful when my friend came over with his VR we with his VR they decided to play FNAF I excused myself to go to the bathroom but instead I decided to turn off every single light in the house except for the bathroom where I would hide I decided to put a speaker underneath a radiator will never look blasted out Freddie's music box on Loop whilst I was on the toilet taking a dump I could hear the chaos starting so I sat on the throne with a big grin on my face enjoying the screams one of my favorite days okay I'll believe it this time someone took a battery out of my friend's control help they literally took the battery and left one oh okay I see I mean it pretty low level it's easy but it is pretty low level apparently the old geezers at my school don't like fun even when there's no Wi-fi let's see no internet uh error internet disconnected well that's fun the owner of this device turned off the dinosaur game ah yes because the previous generations believed that if anybody does anything to entertain themselves they're going to hell especially playing the dinosaur game wait there's also no seasoning oh no that's the worst part oh I read too high as bad as this is it looks like heartburn City for no reason whatsoever it's still miles better than the the the pa pizza with the super thick dough cats up an american cheese on top you all just hate yourselves there you mean in Pennsylvania cats up what's that second ingredient again they eat freaking cold pizza with no cheese too excuse me what my grandpa was something of a prankster in his teaching days my mom just told me this story my grandfather was a math teacher and he had a bunch of different math related shirts that he would wear one of these shirts had a problem where you had to use all roads on an island without going down the same road twice he wore this shirt to school and gave the problem to his smartest class and told them that he would give them the answer the next time he wore the shirt he then proceeded to shuffle that shirt to the back of his closet letting his students struggle to solve the problem for upwards of a month the next time he wears the shirt the class asked him what the solution was and he held up his end of the deal and said the problem couldn't be solved my little sister has an obsession with cutting the faces off baby dolls and stuffed animals and putting them on other dolls help therapist kind of same experience we were babysitting a hamster and our cat killed it so we bought it an identical one or an identical one and the owner still doesn't know interesting sometimes I wonder why some talismans even exist I equip it when my cousin wants to play man what's this Talisman increases damage taken ooh that's mean dude annoying sounds now those view counts actually kind of add up in my brain three rules no wishing for death no falling in love and no bringing back dead people I wish all spider limbs extend by 2 meters there are four rules I wish all spiders could fly dude parked in a visitor spot near my house girl claims it as hers does this to my car later any advice let's see go out into the woods find some poison ivy be sure to wear gloves then every two weeks just rub a little bit under the car door handle as you walk by that way when it starts to clear up she gets a nice new dose dope Doats what is wrong with my brain she gets a nice new dose of itchy nasty misery you gotta boil it down outside boiled a whole bunch while wearing a gas mask and then take the Super concentrate and put a couple drops on the door handle dog dude don't send anybody to the hospital uh this is why you never get Welch's from the dollar store I I guess what annoys me is your your text I can barely read that I sent a classmate a bunch of these fake colorblind tests now she thinks that she's colorblind well I I can see what's in there and I think it's kind of [ __ ] up I made a horror story with a scene in which a character literally melts from the inside out one of my friends thought it was kind of funny and I like to say that you ma'am are either unfazed by Body horror or the devil or you wrote it really poorly and it sounded funnier maybe it was your writing this girl on Instagram posted her plane ticket and I called and canceled her flight I don't know how you would have been able to do that I mean ticket or not I'm genuinely curious you know like uh really tie him to a chair play baby shark on Loop but it's just the baby shark line pair it with an infinite Loop of the most annoying sound in the world from Dumb and Dumber set up a robot arm to lightly Bop him on the head with an inflatable hammer in the okay well what is this for Linux James Bond torture scene I was at a concert today and saw some ambulance drivers sleeping in the ambulance so I ran over and started pounding on the hood and yelled help I think my friend is dying and then ran full speed off and kept yelling you have to hurry I lost them in the crowd and for 45 minutes I saw people with walkie-talkies all over the place freaking out I wish I would have filmed it next time okay that's real hilarious bro let's go after the poor efts that make almost no goddamn money my daughter made 110 on her Lemonade Stand today in like an hour turned out people were handing her fives and tens and she was just assertively saying thank you for the tip and not offering change well what are they gonna do Karen out at a child I don't think so I told someone that LOL was lots of love they commented that on someone dying their Facebook got banned for toxicity I I refuse to believe you can ban a Facebook account for toxicity it's Facebook it's how they make their freaking money be me 15. parents buy me a Sony phone for Christmas something like well what mad because I wanted a Samsung find out this phone has an IR blaster use the TV remote app to troll my dad watching the football decide to be more mischievous go around the neighborhood if I see someone's TV on I turn it off with the app and keep walking see local Facebook posts as anyone else's TV stopped working yeah mine turned off for no reason mine keeps switching channels and muting itself we do a little trolling see this is significantly more harmless than can with EMTs and you know it I remember years ago when I was in elementary school my father had a really three tiny orange touchscreen phone one day when me and my brother were watching videos he came to our room with his phone in a glass of water and in all seriousness asked who did this turns out the phone was actually waterproof and he pranked us okay okay as long as he didn't take it too far I'm sure it was plenty funny man people that scoop ice cream with a fork are absolute Psychopaths well I mean they got what they deserved in this instance Tubbs is friendly she would love a gentle pad imagine if that dog was hyper aggressive but someone from the neighborhood put that sign up as a prank that wouldn't be a prank no no that would be if you were caught some kind of premeditated serious assault maybe assault with a deadly weapon at that point does a violent dog count as a weapon can it I think it can I was eating these when my roommate walked in and asked how many packages I ate today or they asked I said four she called me Satan took a picture and left what did I do oh you're one of those people that likes black licorice like me right so that means you're a horrible person and everybody needs to treat you like for it no no I get it I get boys it is with great displeasure to tell you that my dog has died this threat has been flared as serious damn I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy I would I don't know why this is posted here dude trying to be funny when it's flagged serious get the [ __ ] out of here

Channel: EmKay

Views: 2,754,400

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% True stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, reddit stories, ask reddit, funny reddit, emkay, memes, compilation, Insaneparents, tumblr, Foundsatan

Id: PJ6ks4n2MBM

Length: 96min 10sec (5770 seconds)

Published: Sun Aug 13 2023