THE MOST PERSONAL OF r/F**KYOUINPARTICALR

who all get wrecked Jim Jesus that is a lot of dedication to that gym what did you do oh no that's rough dude I've been there though honestly unfollowed you're unfollowed number of followers this page had this morning before Mark original commenter made his announcement 20 876 858 number of followers one hour after Mark made his departure announcement 20 to nine thousand seven hundred and seventy seven we lost one mark but we gained 32 919 non-marks today is a good day imagine training like the military for 10 years just for this to happen I fooled you didn't I yeah oh man you got three stooged my friend shortest month and you select me this will not be forgotten I feel like he would tweet something like this but I still don't think he did the world's first mobile phone call was made on April 3rd of 1973 when Martin Cooper a senior engineer at Motorola called a rival telecommunications company and informed them he was speaking via a mobile phone suck it losers [Laughter] win Winter Lane loser Lane Robert Lane named his sons winner and loser winner became a small-time crook racking up over 30 arrests and a stint in state prison while loser Lane was a star student and athlete who became a police detective in New York City huh you and the chosen one it was said that you would be extremely epic baby shut up my ex broke up with me about a month ago before the finale of his favorite Netflix show hit he'd organized a viewing party ready for midnight when it dropped I let him stay signed in on my account until 11 59 PM that day when I changed the password and forced to log out on all his devices oh I knew it was coming I Love You Man The Story of Nigel Richards the man from New Zealand who memorized every French word in the French Scrabble dictionary and won the French Scrabble Championship without speaking any french I am in awe of this man's dedication to never learning French it's actually completely impressive to biblical proportions today I learned Google News occasionally features the author photo instead of the article art the pandemic's wrongest man Ah that's rough my friend that is indeed rough not Debbie's not Debbies not Debbies not Debbies not Debbies not Debbie's oh and let me see oh yeah not Debbie's geez maybe she should stop stealing people's stuff huh oh God okay if you divide one by 998 0001 the result will contain every number from zero zero zero to nine nine nine except nine nine eight I don't know what to do with this information this candle company makes sense inspired by places this is his Ohio candle Ohio not much to see not much to do welcome to Ohio the unscented candle okay that's pretty perfect though I need a Colorado candle I offered to buy the admin team lunch today because they worked their asses off all month and I asked if anyone had any requests and a lady who tells me my head is stuck up my ass once a week said literally anything but Olive Garden enjoy all you can eat Olive Garden Stephanie we family that's right suck it in my sixth grade science class A girl read orgasm instead of organism and the class laughed that she was embarrassed to calm her down our teacher told her everyone would forget in two weeks it's been nine years and I still remember Danielle I freaking remember I hope you see this we went to the Planetarium today and when the voiceover said this is the earth one of the kids booed that's fair that's a completely fair and logical reaction I've just been made aware of a painter Alex Shaffer who paints banks on fire and I feel so calm that's quite nice it's it really is relaxing to look at in 1719 prisoners in Paris were offered Freedom as long as they were willing to marry a prostitute and move to to Louisiana that explains a lot Louisiana police officer crashes after owl flies into patrol car and starts pecking at him and I'll do it again in the Lucifer series Lucifer is shown to be the only angel to have a British accent this is because after ruling hell for a millennia he picked up the accent of the most common people found in Hell British people again that explains quite a few things avoid Philadelphia don't you worry random road sign I'm doing my best my mate took two weeks off work went to Africa climbed Kilimanjaro and raised over 300 pounds for charity having hiked and climbed for seven days he reached the summit and asked his guy to take a picture before his iPhone battery died because of the negative 25 cold and here it is I'd have that printed and framed what the heck is wrong with people there's a literal Island made of garbage out there in the sea oops wrong pick thousands of people plan to attend a barbecue in front of the home of a vegan Australian woman who took her neighbors to court over the smell of meat cooking in their own backyard hard don't you just love it do not play AC DC on this jukebox your song will be skipped no refunds I hate AC DC Aaron Morse owner do not play it please do not play ACDC also you can't play Nickelback Hoobastank Matchbox 20 or Matchbox 20 match book 20. what hinder Buck Cherry Def Leppard the song Wagon wheel or any other overplayed music thank you for your patronage excuse me what pedestrians look like across Europe it looks like everyone is walking away from Poland now why could they be doing that in 2002 Pope John Paul II requested that the media stop referring to his car as the pope mobile saying the term was undignified in 2007 the popemobile wait what happened to the pope mobile I am under the water please help me also how's it undignified it's accurate Mr Pope man danger presented by Ohio illusion of safety time enough to hug your loved ones you are not safe invasion at any time you are in Ohio [Applause] thought the wise must be shaken in his boots danger due to Doug's decision wait Doug's oh Doug's decision-making process gotcha damn it Doug LMFAO bro why is my professor a cat I went to school for seven years to get this job maybe if you didn't come to class late with a Starbucks cup every day you'd know maybe to the to throws bag of [ __ ] on this property I now have a camera and when I catch you I'm Gonna Make You Eat This I Promise [ __ ] Jesus Christ so I lost an eighth grade presidential election five years ago and my friend just found the guy who beat me on Tinder okay wait let's see still proud of the time I became class president just to beat someone I found mildly annoying Get Wrecked Megan oh he got your ass I just got a rejection for a job I never applied for what we don't know who you are but we don't [ __ ] want you just stay the hell away from us new skeleton found in Pompeii this guy was running from the eruption when a 300 kilo Boulder hit him right in the face that's why you never turn around to look at explosions man in 1998 Honduras built a bridge over the river but hurricane Mitch rerouted the river oh that just sucks dude oh boy what do we have on this it says sit quietly at your desk for a few minutes get up and say that was easy and turn in your quiz do not say anything to Jerry and Robbie and they said college would be harder than high school I'm dying to know what Jerry and Robbie did to invoke the Wrath of the professor guys the history of marathons is kind of whack a guy in ancient Greece died after running 26 miles and what do we do to honor him we run 26 miles and not die people decided to just Flex on him for the rest of Eternity if anyone pulls something like that on me it's instant hands to the a-hole who keeps putting mustard packets underneath the toilet Rim nothing in this world would give me more pleasure than finding out who you are digging up your childhood pet and beating you with its corpse somewhere between wiping mustard off my balls and removing my now yellow boxers I realized that this Injustice cannot go unsettled for the rest of your life in your most private moments know that I the only thing preventing a dysfunctional veteran from waterboarding you with mustard is the knowledge of your existence I hope you stub your toe every day for the rest of your life good God it's quite damning I what does this even mean Hello Jeffrey unfortunately due to company policy we're not unable to offer you a position we're unable to offer positions to people with the name Jeffrey since it will not work in our database wait wait what how is that even possible cut your own freaking grass England damn straight they can manage it dogs only know seagulls well look at that little mad lad going for it can't stop thinking about people that first eight mushrooms they found and just had to go through trial and error like this like this one tastes like beef this one killed Brian immediately and this one makes you see God for a week well their losses are gain their sacrifice does not go unnoticed student loan company accidentally sends Ohio man 55 000 copies of the same letter about daughter's tuition the letter didn't even contain the correct information ah student loan company what a phrase that shouldn't exist California has been hit by nearly 11 000 lightning strikes in 72 hours a historic lightning siege that has produced more than 367 new wildfires Governor Gavin Newsom has declared a state of emergency God damn California they're in a state of emergency so often they should probably rename the state emergency geese not wanted let him in the sign is rude and evil imagine getting arrested and a cat just comes along and sits on you I don't want to imagine that that actually kind of sounds want to know why I hate Vapors you smell Donuts or cotton candy and turn a corner thinking Hmm I'm going to treat myself to something tasty but no it's just Brad and his cloud of Lies rain rain go to Spain what that's where we've been sending the rain this whole time Mozart disliked a performer named Adriana yes so knowing her tendency to drop her chin on low notes and throw back her head on high ones Mozart wrote a song with constant leaps from low to high in order to make her head Bob like a chicken on stage Jesus Mozart Why don't you chill out bro in 1957 Richie Ashburn hit a foul ball into the stands that struck spectator Alice Roth a sports reporter's wife breaking her nose when play resumed Ashburn fouled off another ball that struck her while she was being carried off in a Stretcher Jesus Richie my co-worker told me he got banned from a bar when he lived in North Dakota back in 1973 and didn't try going back to it for 30 years but he finally did and the moment he stepped in someone yelled get the hell out of here Dennis and that's probably my favorite story ever hey they never forgive they never forget in every book my husband's written a character named Colin suffers a horrible death this is because my boyfriend before I met my husband was named Colin in addition to being named Colin he was Scottish and an architect so you understand my husband's feelings of inadequacy my husband cannot build a tall building of many stories he can only build a story and then push Colin out of it height couldn't even give me a five foot three how does that even happen when you're a millennial who somehow managed to get a house but [ __ ] you whoops Demolition Company accidentally tears down the wrong house well I guess they're rebuilding your house for free or building you a another house for free either way you wouldn't be paying for it Bart bartender oh son of a [ __ ] you think that's cringe Italian moms wait nine months just to end up naming their kid Giuseppe [ __ ] you why no one takes my Sharpie I work in an aerospace facility where you can only use Black Ink on any official paperwork had a pen thief in the house so I bought two packs of pilot g2s one colored and one black switched all the ink cartridges up so not only did I never have another black pen stolen but the pen Thief was found with pink ink on some controlled documents suck it Tim you're such a piece of [ __ ] I think you have the wrong number is this Robert nope Todd thank you Todd you're probably a piece of [ __ ] too also who phrases it like that this is Robert my toddler ran out of waffles in her pretend restaurant this morning right after she served everyone besides me and that's about the biggest few she's ever given so far live every day like your 2001 Nicole Kidman leaving her lawyer's office after divorcing Tom Cruise wow okay no seriously Tom Chill Brian do not touch my food I have seven shrimp and 4728 rice I'm gonna take one grain of rice elephant kills 70 year old and then returns to trample her corpse at funeral in India holy God what did you do to this elephant stop talking trash about our local Wildlife raccoons are resourceful possums are intelligent squirrels are good climbers owls are very wise geese [Music] deer are gentle a tropical storm bearing my mother's name is heading for the beach where my dad is supposed to get married this weekend uh oh try and experiment with photosynthesis put two mice in two containers but a plant in the bottom of one the mouse without the plant will die because it ran out of oxygen by performing this experiment we've proven that you have some serious psychological problems seriously it was just photosynthesis we knew about it already Herbert died for nothing am I pretty someone wrote not funny on my tweet in 2019 I've catfished him for two years made him fall in love with me he's meeting me at a restaurant for the first time tonight I won't be there the waiter will give him a note that's just my tweet he commented on Jesus Christ Cartman in 2017 scientists began a global search to find a mate for Jeremy a rare left-coiled snake since his shell coiled in the opposite direction of most snails his organs couldn't align with others two contenders were found but they mated with each other instead of Jeremy I'm sorry Jeremy what's a useless geography fact Belgium all right someone doesn't like The Simpsons only a few hundred California condors live in the wild but about 20 teamed up to trash one woman's deck she must have done something they wouldn't have done that for no reason man you don't piss off the birds somebody's day was ruined yeah loser at the gas station I saw some guy at the gas station that looked like a loser you know who you are this is where a lot of my anxiety comes from I know people out there see me they perceive me and I'm sure they go home and go wow yeah I saw this really stupid looking mofo at the gas station me being waterboarded gross is this Nestle oh no you meant to say Dasani actually no Nestle's evil too it's just a sunny as terrible water all visitors from New Jersey must explain why limited exceptions limited as in what who Kevin Smith is he an exception what do men Define as a toxic relationship Andrea if you can't handle me at my worst then you don't deserve me at my other worst where the hell I want to stay very far away can I own a capybara in California they are illegal to own as a pet in California the rodents aren't dangerous they're just weird looking said Department of Fish and Game spokesperson Andrew hewan will say human it doesn't matter there's Steve I hope you're happy with her now the whole town will know what a filthy cheater you are from Jenny P.S I bought this ad using your credit card God damn not bad what is special about the party Jim won't be there yeah that's right now you hear that Jim you're not gonna be there I will be I was invited the five girls who will absolutely ruin your life Julia Julia Julia Julia Julia Julia if you're reading this bring my goldfish back you want a goldfish back I mean all right Library return Please yell not a squirrel when opening the book drop so we know you're a human and not a squirrel trying to steal Keith's lunch maybe Keith needs to do some soul searching feel so sorry for unisang Korean girl hot Korean girls oh nice when entering the restaurant please please do not let the oh hey wait a minute flip inside out and hand wash cold water so you don't ruin it like everything else in your life why are you so mean I draw the line right here thanks for asking Peta where do you draw the line kids playing with a water hose during Coast Guard demonstration the longer I look at this the harder I laugh dang I mean he's getting absolutely blasted dude boxes keep attacking this 88 year old Mainer I wish I knew why he says yeah I freaking bet man what did you do next time you're afraid to share ideas remember someone once said in a meeting let's make a film with a tornado full of sharks you laugh now but it spawned all kinds of movies and loads of money and a meme status you only wish you could pay for uh Tom mcelroon who asked to remain anonymous oh oops in member of Roger bucklesby who hated this park and everyone in it in the mid-1800s France gave out a crucial patent in photography for free as a gift to the world except for Britain they had to pay I bet they did imagine having sex and you have to moan the name William or Robert I mean I feel like you could say this about just about any name you want any name man good morning to everyone except people who put sirens and car horns on song tracks I hope you drop your phone in the toilet yeah we really don't need that dude white dudes will be like there he is the man the myth The Legend and it's just Garrett friend from Eastern Europe be like hello friend my name is Gregor oh geez hey boy you man dear customers can we please ask that you whisper whilst outside this is due to the fact that we have some neighbors that forget they live next door to a pub and not a library and have nothing better to do than run to the council and whinge never seen that word used that way before scientists have discovered that on occasions an octopus will punch a fish for no reason other than spite those guys are really scary which male name has been ruined forever for you Chris for no real reason other than I've never met an interesting Chris can confirm if Chris were a spice he'd be flower I don't think you've met Chris Redfield name a character that went through more pain than her I'll wait it was my birthday and I was meant to celebrate with friends they all canceled on me one of them whilst I was waiting outside their house to pick them up because eh it's not really worth it if there's only two of us so I went to build a bear and bought a bear pretending it was for a little cousin because I was too embarrassed to acknowledge it was for myself then I bought a cake from the grocery store and ate it by myself pretending I was sharing it with the bear I really hope that none of those people are considered friends anymore especially that first one dude fully dad woman originally from the Netherlands but who Moved okay wait a minute let me restart this woman originally from the Netherlands but who moved to Switzerland at age eight I don't know why that sounds weird is denied citizenship because people of her Town found her too annoying a vegan she thought that placing cowbells on Cows as a form of animal abuse well look you ruffle too many feathers because you think you're interesting or better than everyone else or right I guess suck it my tenants on the first floor are not paying rent I don't give a flick I really don't care couldn't care less bye bye see ya who does it every evening a pepper falls down the chimney I worship the Lord and have never made an enemy who is doing it well I don't know man you might want to just move Christian girls be like there's no one else on the planet like this man God broke the mold when he made you and it's just Conor human equivalent of a Honda Accord whose favorite food is toast and thinks taking your bra off is adequate foreplay I what does this even mean Hello Jeffrey unfortunately due to company policy we're unable to offer positions to people with the name Jeffrey since it will not work in our database schema you know I do have to wonder if this could be grounds for a lawsuit of some kind I mean they said it doesn't work with their database I feel like that's [ __ ] anybody out there confirm if that could even remotely be true just someone's name literally not working for some reason something feels really weird here the swimming pool was temporarily closed due to the day David 19 situation what useless man this man contributes absolutely nothing to society lazy unwashed programs in Java I was gonna say it's me but uh I don't program in Java I just read Reddit memes what is the worst state you've seen a public bathroom in New Jersey that's not what I meant yeah but it still counts all right let's see documented cases of feral children uh raised by primates wolves dogs Bears sheep cattle goats ostriches or by the French and we'll put one raisin just to fight with somebody you're Satan our soccer rep didn't show up so one of the moms on our team had her nine-year-old son rep for us he had a whistle and a completely adult woman on the other team argued with one of his calls and he yellow carded her in front of everyone and she had to go sit in her car to calm down yeah I'm so tired of parents that do this it's a children's game let them have fun it's not about you it is not about you it is not about you welcome all colors all sexes all orientations all regions all cultures all abilities all ages all sizes except the Danish love lives here this whole fish decided to walk out of the water one day and now I have to go to work and pay rent screw that guy you're such a piece of [ __ ] I think you have the wrong number this is Robert nope Todd thank you Todd you're probably a piece of [ __ ] too I mean maybe running away from that damn nursing home was the best move I've made I'm out here living my 20s again and it's still my kids footner Specky I mean to have fun out there old dude okay man receives 91 500 oil covered one cent coins as final salary in U.S okay let's see here not a repair shop in the U.S been accused of delivering a final wage package to a departing employee by dumping 91 000 oil covered one cent coins on his driveway the pennies amounted to 915 dollars that Andreas flattened said he was owed by the shop his girlfriend shared a video showing the coins and a note that read like you there there's a lot of context missing here uh uh yeah I would have filed a claim yeah like what the [ __ ] dude no all right we have a left-handed screwdriver or a right-handed screwdriver since left-handed people don't exist we can make more money consider this don't delete on things people like unless it's illegal morally wrong or League of Legends Simple Stuff three things guys that's it tons of names in my phones are like Kenny landlord and Mike electric or Pete do not answer and just realize this is how Anglo surnames have always worked today at my bar one guy made fun of his buddy for drinking a blue Hawaiian and he goes I don't give it it's baby blue this is [ __ ] delicious how's that Budweiser taste you basic then slam the rest of it and went flick you in your beer Kyle no smoking don't speak French okay sure I can abide by those rules very easily in Spider-Man far from home MJ is only dating peaker Parker I can't read today guys is only dating Peter Parker and doesn't lie to him about it this is a reference to how a relationship should be done Sophie you piece of [ __ ] download Battlefield from steam or four from Steam open multiplayer kill only one guy named Mr duck 990 exit Game ask for refund get money back like you Mr duck 990. women get mostly infertile at 40 but live to be 80. without a family what are you going to do with those 40 long long years I'm gonna boil everyone that's what I'll do men women grandmas grandpas your wife everyone I'm gonna fight the whole world except you you can go fight yourself I love it when people tweet really long ways of saying that no one wants to have sex with them hi Stephen do I have your attention now I know all about her you dirty sneaky immoral Unfaithful poorly endowed slime ball everything's caught on tape your soon-to-be ex-wife Emily P.S I paid for this billboard from our joint bank account and you spent some of your money too I imagine at that point but hey I like it stop talking trash about our local Wildlife raccoons are resourceful possums are intelligent squirrels are good climbers owls are very wise geese deer are gentle will you subscribe to me that's exactly how I feel bosnians I want to swim Croatia no you need a passport to go to the beach only a few hundred California condors live in the wild but about 20 teamed up to trash one woman's deck bet she had it coming you called yesterday not intentionally I was watching the Jets game and I yelled that was an awful [ __ ] call just terrible my phone picked up called just terrible and well that's how you're stored anyway have a great day thank you why doesn't Facebook accept videos over 26 seconds thanks to prevent Ford owners from posting their quarter mile race videos what what oh damn that fork got you good bro the only Japanese who survived the Titanic lost his job because he was known as a coward in Japan for not dying with the other passengers I wonder if that's true Tom Brady says drinking water prevents sunburn Twitter calls them out ignore Tom Brady 37 glasses of water a day is too many Tom Brady's water habit could kill an ordinary person Tom Brady is trying to kill you I mean yeah you can have too much water you gotta have some [ __ ] minerals and salts and stuff left in your damn body electrolytes are important troll notice if someone's Twitter name is something like Joe one two eight three seven two six three five don't waste time replying simply block come on man look Joe you don't even have a profile picture most tweeters don't post things like this I'm in a really good place mentally right now oh I mean it is Twitter you're not allowed to be happier enjoy things on there that's just the rules banana Wars oh [ __ ] one one ah wow Tim just look at those birds flying in formation who cares dude birds are lame well for you Tim [ __ ] you oh that's pretty targeted I gotta say whatever birds were doing this they really wanted you in particular to suffer look how concentrated that is right on the windshield request permission to engage [Music] no Gary's left in Britain by 2050. Gary's could be wiped out within a generation after it emerged there have been no children named Gary since 1992. my friend Gizzy Gazza would like to have a word a white shoot I think he was born in 1992. kizzy Gazza may be one of the last garys ever just have to say that January events at your library the we hate Keith Club every fourth Monday a group needs to discuss Hayden Keith this month's topic his hair so just say once a month why do you gotta do every fourth Monday we don't need Mike look as a person who lives in a house owned by someone named Mike I can assure you this is not true you're a bad mother shut your mouth worship at 9 30 a.m all right I'll be there bike lane Pacific Coast Bikeway route route Rudy Patty Jones worthless tweaker is a worthless tweaker okay to Vanessa Vanessa betrayed me this video was no longer for her ouch dude what happened I have Brian's end of vagina I use both you use Brian from the movie Igor uh unborn and Nazareth what I'm Brian of Nazareth oh I'm Bruin who's Brian I'm Brian I'm my buddy Eric oh Eric yeah oh yeah there's an r slash [ __ ] Eric there's probably an r slash everybody really I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you [ __ ] you I think this describes most marriages unfortunately just reminding it's Bailey WWE that there was still a kid with her name on a sign tonight you think anyone's gonna see this tiny ass sign wow Bailey what the [ __ ] no happy Teacher's Day to Anita teacher Anita teacher who hit seven-year-old me with a duster in front of the class because I was talking to my best friend [ __ ] you no I can agree with that that's pretty stupid um uh uh oh I understand it's for back pain and it's on the bottom shelf hey beautiful respond to mine who cares about everyone else Bastille sucks and I mean hi I'm Bob and I'll be the token tall guy blocking your view today thanks for your cooperation thank you Bob if you think Bob is tall just wait until Robert shows up Bob is short for Robert holy actual crap whose insurance is going to pay for it because I feel like the city has a way of weaseling out of this one and it's going to be on you also I feel like it would be your fault for not paying attention also a lot of places automatically give fall to the person who rear-ended said other uh person okay God damn that was really a place you weren't supposed to park huh Lucky Charms without any of the charms I wouldn't be too upset if this happened I would just kind of be blown away HR manager marketing manager logistics manager communication manager security manager it manager project manager internal supervisor PR manager product development manager Dave due to cutbacks we're gonna have to fire Dave I think two of of these managers actually do something when you would win a free Coke from the plastic bottle cap those were the best or the McDonald's Monopoly game where you could win free fries or something now they want you to enter a code on their website or scan a QR code and get points or whatever and the points can only be used by your choice of three styles of authentic bamboo frisbees or dolphins with throat cancer this guy hates dolphins with throat cancer could somebody please stop giving Dolphins cigarettes you know what I don't think there's anybody out there doing that they're completely of age they're allowed to buy them if they want Donald no matter our race or color or Creed or way of life or species or breed no matter how our height or girth or scent we all hate Donald because Donald is a dick when the island is too Dynamic when the island is too Dynamic when the island is too Dynamic when the island is too Dynamic when the island is too Dynamic when the LIC you picked a random one to be fed up with let that slag Emma I have it whoa with language like that you don't deserve it whoa we've never met before so why call me a slag over a coffee table which neither of us got out of work porn star and his dog the finger that's a tarot card I never knew that what does it mean you wanna go bro I'll kick your ass what's the worst community on Reddit Ouija says r slash Finland oh boy Francisco is the absolute worst person at this establishment he's extremely rude and is not fit to work here the rest of the staff is tremendous I just have a lot of issues with him every single time I step into the gym and it interferes with my motivation to even go every day the gym is Affordable and I did like going here but Francisco ruined the experience for me I may sign up again in the future if something is done about it Jesus Francisco what the hell did you do I'm not going in to get the camera it can stay down there see that's what I thought too but then again that's that's why you send Frank Frank welcome to first grade you'll fit right in unless your name is Gabriel oh I'm so sorry welcome to up here except you Gary I'm so sorry Gizzy choir boy at Queen's funeral a worldwide audience of billions was it actually billions though not trying to Discount his moment he really did a Mike Wazowski here are you Greg no I have some water yes did you ask someone in programming if you could have some water feels like a lawsuit ban Hammer post Don't Mind If I Do r slash [ __ ] you in particular let's see your shuttle bus driver is hung oh yeah like Peter dinklage's character in Knights of badassem love that one dear person who can seem to stop pooping all over the walls and floor we finally figured out who you are for several weeks now we've been cleaning up the daily poop again and you've been leaving us to deal with we have cleaned your poop off of the walls the outside of the toilet and all over the floor not only do we not enjoy this chore but it's an enormous drain on our resources I've left you a bucket with gloves disinfectant and everything else you need to leave no trace this will be your last day at Campers Village if you fail to clean up your own poop sincerely not joking I know who you are it could be any one of us glue trap effective Last Resort for control rats and Mike please ask for assistance for Angel's Envy due to continued theft hi Nick wallaby we are watching you for customer safety Chevrolet bolt EVS are strictly prohibited from parking at this facility thank you for your compliance what the hell happened with the Chevy Bolt renzi I mean what'd they do Be Kind Rewind and meet your new favorite employees of the month Blockbuster a new comedy series created by wait a minute I feel like both of these people had their own weird not office type but I don't know grocery store type or just store in general type comedies already wait a minute get rich or die trying I mean I guess we gotta go after the poor guy when the street corner artist is a pure Savage this is why I will never do this look I make fun of myself all the time but I really don't need someone whose job it is to make fun of people to such a professionally amazing degree to come after me and I pay him no Scott set up faster I think Scott's trying oh I think God's got you good on that one let people sleep in peace Gary what is up with the Gary's man why'd they have to usaka so dirty Katara a member of the water tribe and sister of Saka she's been gifted with the power to bend water Saka qatar's brother imagine if your dad was a Minotaur and your mom was a mermaid and you got the human half of both and now you're just some guy I feel like you'd have some special powers though right oh man I've never had that happen on a soda but I've had that type of thing happen on any other can that has a tab Poland something Stewie can't do don't be a [ __ ] like Stewie and start pulling all right not even the rain likes Texas it doesn't usually doesn't thanks for having my back tender I guess wait but that's no surprise to us wow that is painfully mean I know that it's not for the never mind loyal customers due to abusive management tactics by our district manager Casey's employees resign effective immediately we're sorry for your inconvenience sincerely Casey's staff P.S this is for will the district manager thank you and a middle finger to cap the whole thing off holy crap God's mad oh God do not spread the Spain wow that's mean dude flew in so I could watch him take a dump and then left huh I mean that's a baller move hi Ola go away what'd I do I don't know well okay then fine bye-bye see ya I won't miss you this work center has been accident free since Joe left how long has Joe been gone your lucky day uh just go for it just book it man you'll make it through I'm sure sorry we're closed today due to short people we'll be back on wedness day sorry for inconvenience thank you in the new Super Mario's you game style of Super Mario Maker 2. that read really weird clearing a course hoists a flag with the player character symbol on the flagpole for an unknown reason the Sprites for Luigi's flag are half the resolution of all other flags will they stop beating on Luigi he's had to save Mario's life twice okay okay oh and peaches I mean come on or at least once anyway for her but you know what I mean please do not let in the cat his name is Max Max is nice his owner does not want Max in the library we do not want Max in the library hmm maybe we should keep max out of the library no kangaroos oh well I don't want him then everyone is doing a great job except Cody you hear that Cody as if I could afford a car that new anyway for safety purposes Kia Telluride in Hyundai Palisade in the years of 2020 through 2022 are prohibited from parking at this facility can somebody in the comments or come to my Twitter tell me why these two years of these two nearly identical SUV models are prevented from parking at this facility I mean is there a reason do they explode like Samsung washing machines or something your checked bag in a monsoon that crap Nike designing running shoes for NFL teams the Carolina Panthers is the only team without a design everyone hated number 58 for holding up the start of the race Shifty eight what happened well hell you know what's bad when Mom laughs in third grade I had an older kid take candy from me on the bus he was pretty much the school bully my two friends immediately jumped him and had him in a Chokehold while I punched him right in the nuts I was short so that just happened to be where it landed he ran home and told his mother about it we went to his house and his mom was like this is the kid that hit you and she started laughing let me tell you wow short people banned from using this lift damn it all this discrimination has to end like you Arkansas excluding Arkansas we should do that more often any Ben here in the crowd schemes men's names Ben right life is good you're doing well in three out of 23 areas of mental health really that's it bees please do not go outside there are bees they don't like you they mentioned you specifically those [ __ ] point the Mets no New York Mets parking no all right fine screw Michelle I love Michelle I heart Michelle too same well that first person must feel like a jerk passenger shot aboard Myanmar is it Myanmar flight by bullet fired from ground October 31st is National doorbell day if they're knocking it's to joke on you October 31st Girl Scout Founders Day Halloween National caramel apple day National doorbell day National knock knock jokes day now National magic day I'm gonna stick with Halloween from a newspaper in 1912. he probably had a good personality though was most grotesque animal stegosaur who lived in Utah ages ago is a freak of nature this is just about me screw you Nick Carter what do you even do any relation to that guy that stopped Shaquille O'Neal from you know beating up Godzilla that's gonna that's gonna make me sound very stupid I swear Columbia flights check in over here everyone else you go this way wow Spirit why am I not surprised Wikipedia entry for kayak says screw this kid in particular child using oversized equipment the kayak is floating too high it is too wide for his hips and shoulders and it is so deep that his elbows hit the deck oh wow they're really just sitting on this kid who was given this crap and told he'd be fine screw whales in particular let's see which country is most represented by the Union Jack England Scotland Northern Ireland ow oh good God what do we have here this bar fills top shelf bottles with cheap alcohol I ordered a casamigos neat and was served a cheap tequila from the casamigos bottle the bartender was a total when I told him that it was not what I ordered whack first off no one does what you're saying happened wait what no one does what you are so oh I'm sorry I can't read yeah we replace a middle of the road tequila with a lesser tequila bars don't actually do that I make the same amount of money on either bottle of spit I sell you guys fact is Jeff you gotta cost Amigos and the bartender treated you like an idiot because you're a dumb idiot that claimed a false thing I see you have three other one star Yelp reviews clearly that is because you're a complaining butthole person here's what I'm gonna do I'm going to one star Yelp review your mother because she made Jeff the Yelp complaining fart guy baby good luck out there one star crybaby idiot butthole guy land in I see God I love this [ __ ] owner even if it's fake yes the entire world thinks Jeff sucks like a fart however farts are funny Jeff just stinks I give guarantee you the last girl that had sex with you is currently at an AAA Podium right now I knew I hit rock bottom when I woke when I woke having had sex with Jeff the all right look I love your stupid playground talk but you gotta type betterer everyone else isn't even paying attention eyes to the front of the classroom please what oh what the why doesn't my TV like winged Pikmin that is an excellently fair question poor Al no owl bullying yeah Al's just getting too much of it lately leave him alone Every Spring it begins warning swooping bird protect your eyes head and face walk don't run or ride your bike avoid this area if possible me playing seven days to freaking die what did he do can someone remove that guy from this photo he probably just wasn't supposed to be in it right Ruby 20 just friends maybe more I don't know we'll see not interested in hooking up if your name is Lewis or Luis don't bother swiping right on me well that's not my name but I'm not swiping anyway visit Duncan 12 times a month to be eligible for boosted status through the new Duncan Rewards program even if we go just to charge our phone everyone is eligible except Craig this bag of chips I bought in Louisiana not for sale in California oh it's zaps yeah maybe the Louisiana's or however they're called I don't know know it's hard to tell maybe they don't want some of them good zaps goody goodness to be sold in stupid stinky poopy California or they have to make it differently you know different recipe because California's got weird restrictions never trust a mofo named Chris because of crisscrossed applesauce what the [ __ ] you think he's gonna do to you we can't be trusted Oh I thought it was gonna be something like most Chris's or huge meat heads that punch Boulders and stuff like that the company that makes State scented candles has got one for every state except for Maryland I guarantee you they [ __ ] forgot that it was a state there are a few places I completely forget about Delaware hello Kathleen demlow Shunk was born on March 19 1938 to Joseph and Gertrude Shunk of Wabasso or Wabasso she married Dennis demlo at Saint hands in Wabasso in 1957 and had two children Gina and Jay in 1962 she became pregnant by her husband's brother Lyle demlo and moved to California she abandoned her children Gina and Jay who were then raised by her parents in Clements Mr and Mrs Joseph Shunk she passed away way on May 31st in 2018 in Springfield and will now face judgment she will not be missed by Gina and Jay and they understand this world is a better place without her God damn dude I'm gonna need a little bit more context before condemning her to hell for [ __ ] eternity it's not even my job that's God's job man screw you Connecticut connect seller will not sell body armor to any citizen or resident of the state of Connecticut oh God damn it this actual real life crosswalk sign I think they should all do that not being too sensitive do instacart delivery folks really get to just post whatever picture they want shirtless fuzzy you're delivering my grocery shirts excuse me sir I'd like it without the chest hair is that too harsh of me uh well honestly sure the picture is not exactly fantastic but did he look like this when he showed up with you was he like naked did he mess with your stuff no then maybe quit being a flick and Dick about it who gives a [ __ ] the only time I care is if oh would you look at that Satan's getting my groceries you know what I don't trust this one they fully made Skyrim for literally everything except Linux doesn't that hurt what did Sophia do Sophia a pick me [ __ ] who wears fake glasses and is a fake K-pop fan and only stands the worst group existing BTS Sophia wears fake ass glasses and she thinks everyone likes but everyone know they are fake if okay I'm sorry I can't read long bits of text when they're written like this I can't my throat already hurts dude guess who was at the station at 11 22 FML well I'm so sorry poor Ginger strictly no parking for gingers that seems discriminatory page King credits a runaway bull and a rodeo for saving her life woman attends Rodeo gets struck by bull and realizes she has cancer sometimes that's all you need you know take that Claire Post no bills Claire what screw whoever steals this clock if you steal this clock you'll be caught on film and your job will be terminated well I don't give no Lux TaylorMade those Lefty golfers select hand right you know I used to make that joke or I think I did up until relatively recently about you know left-handed people not existing and then I watched a little John Oliver bit about how we used to try and force left-handed people to become right-handed and then you know the number of left-handed people in the United States kind of skyrocketed out of nowhere because it seemed like everybody was turning left-handed when in reality they were just allowed to be who they were crazy thought right why is there such a bias though I don't get it I know one is way more common than the other but for God's sake yeah what Boulder crashed a passing car during thunderstorm driver walked out with minor injuries this feels the exact opposite of like you in particular I mean yeah your truck in particular but he was saved Tom mcelroon who asked to remain anonymous right just kept piling on the poor guy woke up to find my windshield smashed was about to be on my way to get a much needed root canal done that I already couldn't afford and now this oh and I got charged for canceling my appointment hello toothache my old friend oh I would have fought That Flippin fee screw you tradies Excelsior luggage trolleys what return to the basement after use do not overload not to be used by Tradesmen I see Anne Hodges is the first person to get hit and survive a meteor strike that happened in 1956 I think you think for a rock that's millions of years old and millions of miles of travel just to attack this poor woman I do believe she's also the only recorded person in human history that's ever been hit by one that we know of someone in Twitter posted this well a cow not only stole my bedside lamp but it also broke it and eat in it I'm sure this was intentional damn uh you know what yeah that does feel quite vengeful oh dear Nick please read Nick 13 things we all wish men would do during sex imma keep it real with you uh kind of a red flag to do that sort of thing unless that's just how you two joke and you work with each other all the time but look that's a private thing dude and that ain't funny like you intern Andy we're back the lights are on the printer is humming and boxes are heading out of the doors thanks to our team except intern Andy everything is back up and running what did he do found this in the ceiling ceiling great job Chris do Chris put out right here here you son of a 50 states two could have decided to be different and a freaking course it's mine except for Massachusetts oh well that's weird during the whole concert release I'd be so upset if I were that guy I feel like I'm getting called out here this candle company makes sense inspired by places this is the Ohio candle not much to see not much to do welcome to Ohio the unscented candle I'm not giving you guys 40 bucks for an unscented candle which country has the least attractive people according to Europe oh this 100 tracks came out to see if my new solar panel was working and saw this okay that's great this car in particular oh the leaves choose the car unexpected slow lane oh dear Lord that is a small Boulder the size of a large Boulder I had fun at lunch we doing it again soon yeah sure cool cool what you doing getting ready for a date wait what two in one day this one's a date date oh okay thanks for letting me know I wasn't aware front row Center wow that's a little mean bear breaks into Colorado house plays the piano but not very well look he's doing his best what Robert do punchrobert.com I don't know Robert did something though man I like that the sign's kind of reversible screw your car interior in particular oh that sucks ooh ooh that stuff upsets me so much they took my monitor or if this is to be believed they took both of your monitors wait who did shocked Curry fan spots the face of former prime minister Boris Johnson mother of God he's right was open opening a Subway and used some gloves to prep something came back to a glove flipping me off it's a great start to your day man it's only good news from here on out just potato hate me oh okay no I totally understand it's usually a good omen right I will choose to believe that the owner does not know Modern English slangs Frick well we can choose to believe that no problem it's probably true James Gordon banned from Ryanair is he really though huge gessel all right hold on wait what did the sign say let's read Uber drivers stop stealing customers orders if you didn't know we can see your face your face I can't read info name and word what every time you can whatever Uber Courier pickups Uber Eats driver name Jason don't give him a bag he steals always well yeah in particular if he's always stealing people's food then yeah no we're not giving him anything I'm the only one without one without a fun keyboard oh I see gotcha yeah you get a stupid boring one although I'll be honest with you those look like [ __ ] so I wouldn't care but that's just me personally why did they say Belgium watch your language poor belgians this one bike lock in Paris God damn wow the birds really don't like that one my dad and I are supposed to receive train magazines each month he gets his magazine every month with little to no damage I barely receive my train magazines but when I do this is the condition they arrive in yeah what the hell they're targeting you dude Carl needs extra prompting employees must wash hands especially Carl I think every bathroom and every restaurant should call out one specific employee even if they don't have that employee at all there's probably not even a Carl working there translate this sentence con Carlos we never speak with OS yeah I guess screw Carlos in doesn't wash his hands oh wait no that's Spanish for Charles right never mind it's different this is why no one likes Pennsylvania movement of air pollution you gotta remember isn't is it Centralia the physical representation of Silent Hill in the United States look I know that game has a lot of inspiration from Twin Peaks and stuff like that but 100 it's coming from that one Town North Atlantic Garbage Patch not to be confused with Great Britain oh don't worry I learned that the hard way list of Airline restricted items screw you Galaxy Note 7. yeah wasn't that one of the ones that would blow up and light on fire yeah no way they had a bunch of specific models that they listed my classmate tried to open his can of Monster the can had other ideas oh that sucks tumbleweeds screw you and your house oh my God holy crap that is obscene my coffee came without the cookie wait a minute where do you get coffee with cookies in it what screw that frog in particular oh my God I forgot about this photo this is ancient oh the poor guy this car is likely blocking the wind's path likely just likely yeah Lee piss off oh I see PlayStation 4 store I want to go there the poll is enforcing the no parking sign oh well that's highly unfortunate maybe you shouldn't have broken the rules we all need to love one another Jesus love one another people but what if their immigrants are gay or poor did I stutter I agree except for my cousin Craig that piece of [ __ ] deserves to have all of his Ikea furniture screw heads stripped straight from the factory I hate that guy breaking James Corden has been banned from the Pima County Fair April 20th through the 30th that's a hell of a County Fair all right not bad see you later Corden it's probably Brutus page not found either Brutus is in the server room or it might be that your page requested okay well you know what it's brood just let's just go with that either the mold loves that pumpkin or hates it I think it's a bit of both the mold's just out here trying to survive actually impressive it hasn't jumped to the other ones yet get lost Becca yeah Becca what the hell dude I'm trying to read memes really let's see 138 140 oh yeah sucks to suck I guess screw you Richard and your bag Richard I'm sickest once again you couldn't communicate with me to let me know what was going on so I left I hope you made it back here before someone took your bag because I did not take it with me you are a piece of [ __ ] leaving me in on Front Street like that and I hope what you got for the few bucks and Jamba Juice card was worth it I hate you bye God damn okay this guy just bought Fireball for everyone at my bar saw an Astros fan and said except that guy [ __ ] him then tipped me two hundred dollars damn with a one-time gift of just ten dollars you can save this child from Gary that's fair the morons responsible for removing seven dozen parking spaces on a terrible hate small businesses and drivers the cathedral Basilica in St Louis it is St Louis right St Louis Missouri had many of its features paid for Via donations during its construction one family donated for a massive Rose glass window right at the back of the cathedral another family in response donated a dome which they asked to be placed directly in front of the window in such a position you cannot see the oh that's lame that is so freaking lame come on first holiday in three years relaxing on the balcony with a beer and the goddamn sky is giving me the finger well just relax anyway it doesn't hurt you none I saw this on the bus today smart asset really sure sorry Home Depot since rebranding is meta Facebook's parent company has hopped from crisis to crisis they're now worth less than Home Depot that's quite funny I saw this at a bar a couple of weeks ago thank you Steve never trust a guy named Steve stop that means you young man in the blue Subaru and turn the music down I'll [ __ ] off with the music thing but yeah you do need to stop dude a 70 year old Indian woman Maya was collecting water when an elephant appeared out of nowhere and attacked her she was rushed to the hospital but ultimately succumbed to her injuries at her funeral the elephant appeared again grabbed the body trampled it and threw it away before fleeing what did she do the elephant didn't just snap man what did she do to this guy I wonder what Bentley did I don't know but they suck Zeus screw this city in particular that is a hell of a photograph no way all of that was done at the same time though but it's pretty friggin sweet I'd say the local drunk at last night's bar cute Tony yeah Tony Bounty bars removed from celebrations tubs in trial what shame on them for not writing a corresponding French version Trudeau yeah you do have to have a fret come on but in the whole effort dude for some reason every Tumbleweed in the area decided to gather here my goats and chickens are in those pens awesome your day just got awesome screw this wind turbine wind turbine struck by lightning as thunderstorm warning in effect that's that's an expensive strike Elon Musk tell him where to go Tesla bot 2022. Joe Biden did this well great thanks for [ __ ] defacing a gas pump because you're a [ __ ] this tire in particular yeah yeah that is a small Boulder the size of a large Boulder

Channel: EmKay

Views: 774,913

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% True stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, reddit stories, ask reddit, funny reddit, emkay, memes, FuckYouInParticular, r/F**kyouinparticular

Id: 54xfko4X74E

Length: 56min 34sec (3394 seconds)

Published: Mon Dec 05 2022