The Megamind of instagram

cocaina no because this post is a pain in the ass there's Ernie's pimp ride he uses the picked up chicks there's my gas can people keep asking me why Josh pal my brother Josh my friend Josh Booher some members of the military like Alan taper did did to me worse aging people ask me why I take so many vitamins I met a human and everybody said he was insane you look for an out and you kill yourself hmm salmonella [Music] seven million years ago humans first appeared on the planet everyone agreed this was a bad idea but when were there anyway it's okay long they're just beta testing but it turned out we invented some pretty cool stuff we invented fire we began to make our own clothes and shoes pair of ug 350s anyone I'm selling for 30 ceramic pots of mud we also invented some cities but who really cares cut to current year humanity no longer has any natural predators and because of this the dim-witted have began to out breed the intelligent and in a couple generations time will be completely replaced by ten strengths libertà mites and the planet will be wiped clean and what had to start over but Mother Nature has a plan and birthed one man into the world to teach the good word not the Word of God but why he hates the military no flower somebody just asked me why I hate the military get their money because a lot of people in the military aren't the smartest sharpest tools in the shed this is Martin Cabello the third and probably the most intelligent man you'll ever meet somebody asked me about some some things he initially got his fame from people taking his clips with no context and posting them on to Twitter and Instagram for those sweet sweet up dudes I spy with my little eye so may ask me if I'm artistic I'm artistic for most people they found it kind of funny they smash like maybe even left some coveted reddit silver and went on with their day but deep down hundreds of miles below the earth's surface sleeper agents were activated their editors legal predators who have lawfully killed someone what's your story they found Martin's Instagram in about naught point three seconds and began to suspect what his intentions actually were somebody asked me to blink real fast if I'm in trouble some suspected he was some Arg or alternate reality games and network's narrative that uses the real world as a platform yep I get it I get it all right pets got food you can put your stone shovels down but here's my game theory Martin posts on his Instagram time to mass so I exist quite a lot well I mean a lot I mean if the hour of every day a lot seriously like influences wish they could have the dedication mine has with his platform imagine a funny man Instagram account posting 24 skits a day now that's dedication Minds post can be simple things like his progression with his weight loss and bulking up someone definitely got an s-rank on the Wii Fit love is not the satisfaction of a chemical reaction but the sensation of a neural networks quantum entangled electromagnetic radiation but Martin also talks about controversial topics I was talking to somebody about Cookie Monster right being a monster and eating cookies and there not being a monster anymore for example the military-industrial complex I don't hate the military members of the military like Alan J Byrd did did to me was I ever in the military a lot of people in the military aren't the smartest tools that our sharpest tools in the shed become a stormtrooper he also seems to comment about missing children quite a lot separating chicken for me and my wife now you think about women children going missing in your community and grown men committing suicide but most importantly Martin loves to talk about ketones those sweet little water soluble molecules they're produced by the liver central nervous system to induce apoptosis an apology in his spare time he also likes to eat various animals for their nutrients including frogs and worms obviously I'm not going to show that here like come on guys this is a for free zone come on he also used pictures of him eating the animals as a promotion for his GoFundMe and then people ended up naming it on Twitter which Martin then NAB's the videos posted on his own Instagram oh my god you guys pro gamer J is turning into a rat quick J run before ma and Cabello eats you for your delicious protein he's also try consuming the venom from bees and wasps er that that doesn't end too well I just saved him in my swimming pool he smells so good he smells really good we're gonna get some benadryl I was talking to my wife and trying to show her the difference between localized allergic reaction and a severe reaction it looked to be honest I'm not even sure if the second one's legit it could be two unrelated clips spliced together but that's the beauty of mine stories you could never tell reality from fiction why does he have such a funny face like us gonna laugh but he dosed this dude walks around with a wall stapler and says quantum mechanics this dude look like he can be a damn bobble head my guy out here looking like human shrek although he doesn't post on it as much here's him meeting Santa Claus friends owning all the non-believers for all eternity and here's him attempting to recreate Isaiah Isaiah Isaiah by using a light bulb halo there's actually a fair amount of these light bulb pictures and I'm pretty sure it's the only thing he posts on his Twitter and to prove even further Martin is a holy man he quotes the Bible here a lot as well with Instagram links that take you absolutely nowhere now one thing that Martin is bought multiple times is the death of Josh and his two children people keep asking me why josh pal committed suicide and blew himself up with his two children now apart from the cocaina no the most popular out-of-context clip is probably the one talking about Josh but the thing is this is a real thing that actually happened Josh Powell who lost custody of his two boys after being suspected of killing his missing wife Susan back in 2009 killed himself and the children's Sunday by setting the house on fire with a gas explosion alright let me submit up briefly for you in 2009 a woman named Susan Powell vanished without any kind of trace the police suspected it was the husband Josh who killed her and then hid the body the family turning on him Josh blew the house up with his two children inside no Joe to be made here this is a terrible story with no happy ending and Martin Cabello totally believes in Josh's innocence apparently knowing Josh as a close friend saying the military got to him he said he was being framed to look like a bad person while being hunted and psychologically and physically tortured by members of the military and everybody said he was insane God that got really really dark all right what else do we have here all right now I followed Martin on Instagram for a while now and apart from posting he goes live pretty much every single day big hugs in a second I'm doing a live and when he does go alive he tends to let people on his livestream the majority seem to semi sarcastically indulge my theories on the military and quantum mechanics hey guys welcome back to the North Pole one group of people are stronger than twenty twenty thousand separated groups you know and if that child happened to realize the drugs they were smuggling were being given to American soldiers or the military 16 times the detail you can't erase the damage you have done for the American military you've damaged the American military's legacy for a very long time well I appreciate your big brain Martin also does this thing where he challenges viewers to match his push-ups probably to increase their intelligence stat although if you can match up to the pure biceps of mr. Cabella but first hey Thomas have you heard of that new show called my wife's son that's right it's an amazing show that everyone's talking about and if you were missing out on it you wouldn't be deemed socially acceptable now of course what's that you're not residing in one of the select countries the show's been licensed to I guess you can never watch it had your die of virgin look you know where this is going you probably saw PewDiePie do an ad read for it it's not like he has enough money with his tens of millions fable three son Nord VPN go to north VPN comm slash para cynical and use code subject name here to get 70% off a three-year plan and a whole month of brain think of all the broken glass you can buy and invest in without your isp knowing what's that don't like your day have been collected by conglomerate companies goodbye bolding cream ads it's only ads for Shrek PVC bask from here on in still wearing on that North Korea expansion come on goes hello random man you've been selected by random for a purely random survey what do you think of North VPN one honest answer Thank You Khan stranger it's okay guys he's sleeping at over see internet historian does it and now and now I can do it now what a lot of people seem to overlook is Martin is autistic and they said this multiple times on his own accord well when I spy with my little eye block watch so they ask me if I'm artistic I'm artistic he's even apparently shown a letter of his treatment plan coming out of therapy and I think this is why so many of his viewers indulge him despite maybe not believing what he says some people taking the meme way too far began to swap Martin for entertainment or somebody swatted me for killing my mother what's called swatting they do it in video games where they call and say oh somebody some shout-out goes without saying but swatting is the lowest of the low but you know what don't take it to be here's a guy doing a top five compilation of children being swatted saying how naughty is swatting isn't something to joke around about and experiencie streamers must go through is very scary no I'm no psychiatrist honestly all I really do is watch Simpson reruns on YouTube but this would explain a fair amount of Martin's behavior his certain segues into other completely non relevant topics for example let's talk about the fantasy of Harry Potter and real neuroscience I think a lot of people think he's a meme because of how he talks why did the chicken cross the road he always seems like he's about to break down and laughter from what he's saying but he never actually does I genuinely believe this is just his way of speaking and he believes everything he says I mean if a man can down this many vitamins and not die surely he's only growing stronger also Martin starred getting fana move over Star Wars Master cabela's here with his lens flare a genetic protocol there's also this masterpiece which seems to be in the same font as a Viper album surely that's just coincidence he's also posted various high-quality photo shops of himself as various characters Idris Elba is the next Bond my money's on mine I'm sure if Martin played negan The Walking Dead would have 500 seasons but wait mine has a companion a friend he summons into the world to help her eight brains understand the incomprehensible buddy you brought her to us oniy from popular children's show The Muppets also has a wife they're incredibly cute together Martin even took the time to explain how he met her son my wife when I was doing things for her if you tell him how we first kissed there she pushed me up against the wall he also does this bit where he explains why he loves his wife and it's incredibly interesting I always state love is not the satisfaction of a chemical reaction but the sensation of a neural networks quantum entangled electromagnetic radiation now it sounds like total nonsense but listen for more than 10 seconds and it actually makes sense massaging their feet brushing their hair and things like that creates a bond that's almost unbreakable the thing is it actually makes sense but most people won't realize this they'll click off after 10 seconds and go watch no ninja stream Final Fantasy online I have a subscriber who's literally talking trash in my stream saying that I have 8000 viewers and I'm a dying streamer playing 5-11 dude a game that is 16 years old now as of late Mons been exploding with popularity so when I first made mine Cabello part 1 this guy had like thousand followers on Instagram and that was like a month ago right so now Martin has 40,000 for only two months layer and my now is over half a million followers he's probably gonna overtake me in a few weeks how cringe and with that famous brought criticism mostly in the form of conspiracy theories now let's sit down and take a look at the most popular conspiracy theories to see if they hold any weight case one Martin is a plant by genetic protocol now from what I've learned genetic protocol is a service that tests your DNA to see if you have any sort of deficiencies or defects firstly you'll be sent a kit inside would be a cheek swab to collect all of your vital essence 'as you'd send the package away and then they collect all your genetic data and sciency stuff later on you'd have a one-to-one video consultation with dr. Courtney hun remember that name it's important supposedly to explain your problems and she would give you solutions and workarounds around three weeks later you'd get a care package full of supplements to help combat your ailment there's also a disclaimer at the bottom saying none of this should be considered medical advice and the total is one thousand six hundred ninety five dollars that's like to raid shadow legend sponsorships anyway Martin shields this product a lot every couple days he can be seen opening a video with him taking the product he also occasionally posts this woman to his story that's dr. Courtney hunt the CEO of genetic protocol mind Cabello the third you've been charged of being a CIA plant that shields pills without putting hashtag ad on your Instagram stories the jury finds you probably innocent I mean at the end of the day who cares but because of Martin's condition I genuinely believe he's invested in pro mood complex hence why he shells out so much plus dr. Kourtney is also apparently his licensed doctor and you know has Pro mood complex on the side so what I found out was Courtney Hunt is actually Marco Bao's doctor other people were wondering who is this mysterious lady and is she working with Marth and at the end of the day she is just his doctor the worst case scenario here could be dr. hunt taking advantage of Martin to get him to promote the product more but to be fair if he really cared he'd probably have an influence a link in the description but instead he has Peter Pan lived in a pan where the pesticides don't reside and the pests can still reside I guess you're free to go mr. Covello but wait what's this another case apparently you faked being in the military all along that's an offense young man what say you in your defense when a woman has her period prior to it her body burns up all of her glucose stores a very good defense now let's look at the facts now I assume people got this theory because Martin spends a lot of time slighting the military if that child happened to realize the drugs they were smuggling were being given to American soldiers the military would hunt those kids and the people who take care of those kids I think it's very beneficial for the military to understand why people want to murder active duty servicemembers even to my house did [ __ ] for those organizations that they need to go look it's not us that hunts kills rapes and pillages and murders and if you google image search Martin Cabello military there's no pictures of him in a uniform therefore mine must be faking his placement in the military and here's the evidence someone with a Polar Express profile picture asking him what unit he was in to which my response none I'm stolen valor fire adventure by the way stolen valor to any of you non military veterans watching is basically the formal definition of someone who's in military imposter pretending to be in the military when they never were now I find it pretty hard to believe Martin would out himself like this it was probably a joke response I mean who'd take anyone with a Polar Express profile picture seriously would come on guys it's not have a default Jonesy in my opinion I think Martin's just living in his own world and as long as he never poses a danger to anyone why should we be the ones to burst his bubble mr. Cabello I'm throwing out the case mine Cabella the third son of shrek the third you're free to go enjoy your freedom and please don't overtake me an Instagram followers art is him also just a little side note kpop stands have recently found out about Martin and I've owned ironically tried to sell him off as a member of pts now most recently Martin has been starting to post inspirational videos compiling all of his quotes with footage of ethereal humans ascending into the heavens I want to say on behalf of all of humanity Thank You Martin Cabella this world isn't ready for you but hopefully you can make them understand your interest to make sure the general population in the United States doesn't know sugar turns off the epigenetics which the stem cells that are responsible for neurogenesis to be sent to the rest of your body to do any damage in your biology it's allowed to receive a signal that tells that it's mommy has injured biology I've had a lot of men break around my wife made chicken soup epiphany or knowledge about that quantum mechanics of human creation learning transfer advance forwarding I said I could manifest fantasy into reality we just call it cryptography and for a long time they just sit across the table and go Jesus Christ kid also heap he keeps posting movie trailers out of context I'm not sure why most of them don't even have a caption I'm still trying to decipher these also can someone link me his Cookie Monster onesie I really want it for our research purposes [Music] [Applause] happy birthday Mike no let's get that troll out of here somebody give me that

Channel: Pyrocynical

Views: 3,764,972

Rating: 4.9528699 out of 5

Keywords: martin cabello, martin cabello memes, martin cabello out of context, instagram funny, meme, parody, satire, pyrocynical

Id: ZMRB3XWTJRM

Length: 19min 47sec (1187 seconds)

Published: Fri Jan 17 2020