Tall girl is worse than you can imagine

before the video starts we at the parasitical channel are proud to announce we're now selling limited-edition face masks made from the most premium child labor you can now hide your face in style they're only available for the next five days so order yours now link your description do it God please I have a family to feed last time I did a movie review so many of you enjoyed it you immediately unsub from the channel the next review I was gonna do was Netflix his new original movie tall girl then I realized the entire population of mainland China had already done a video on it I don't like tall girl I mean it's fine I guess it could've been better tall girl was a wasted opportunity and you know [ __ ] I don't think it's that good now the good news from this is no one with a higher sub count than me has talked about this and as we all know whoever has the most subs by default came up with the idea first so after this video all of these people have retro actively copied me and I will see you in Hell Court tall girl is a film about a girl who's tall she gets bullied look you've seen this story a hundred million times let's move on the opening we see a guy on a girl staring at each other flirtatiously do you notice how they both have different colored bookcases behind them that means they're from two different worlds she stands up to reveal how tall she is and the guy's happiness turns into pure dread ah it's okay I feel your pain I too bought Borderlands three and found the Rick and Morty reference this is Jody ah relatable six-foot-one protagonist did I uh did I mention that she's relatable how's the weather up there you think your life is hard yeah I mean I know people with no legs and arms honestly you've got it pretty lucky since scientifically our species is getting taller and taller me there me Jody's friend Farida I can tell the kind of character she is because she's introduced with copyrighted music that I've had to dub over also just to signify that she's tall they make the same joke three times in the first three minutes of the movie how's the weather up there next up is Jody sister Harper this is my superhot older sister Harper she's average height unlike Jody but the trade-off she's hyper allergic apparently everyone in this world needs some kind of blatant floor because subtlety does not exist the two girls also have a mom and a dad who had never named because they don't deserve names or so is it just me or does Jody's dad look like the same dad from deathnote oh dear God it's a connected universe young defens as do your process to Joshua isn't God we see the family eating a meal and they go for this really weird camera shot of having the characters only just in frame when they're talking you know in actually good shows these shots are usually used to convey how minuscule the character is in the bigger picture or how they just blend into the environment uninteresting well here it's quickly teen comedy why are you going for this kind of shot as well more quirkiness the family say no a lot [Music] no no what else about the family Gelder's sneeze yeah please clean your hands despite getting nothing on it wipe your hand don't touch your dress with that we meet another of Jodi's friends Jack Dunkleman hey looking good Turner dinkleberg I just to tell you that he's quirky he carries his belongings on a milk crate got this it's really it's just a lil a pun scheduled something Jesus crossed me get miss Apple but did you throw that at me gladly oh really just now nozaki how do you pronounce that in the zinger that's not how you pronounce it you do not pronounce it in a zinger there's no way now Togo was directed by Zynga Stewart bazinga now Zynga has a degree single alright the jokes are over move on Zynga also has a degree in philosophy now she has directed a film before tall girl titled with this ring she also made a documentary on Michael Jackson with enough flash transitions to give anyone epilepsy and in the global arena of entertainment that is certainly true get on a deeper more profound level there is another well [ __ ] she also directed the trailer for El Camino the Breaking Bad variety I made that last part but in the nicest way possible it's very clear she has no idea what she's doing I just think it's crazy you won't go out with me just cuz cuz what you think that at any moment some taller than you funny intelligent nice perfect guy is just gonna walk through that door I mean Oh Oh dramatic Oh funny this is the room of Netflix movies the guy even looks a bit like Tommy Wiseau just with blonde hair and a facelift his name Steve Steve Wallace it's spelt like Stig but it's not that Stig and his entire purpose in this film is plot convenience look at him solve a chemistry equation on the wall with no effort all big-brained look at him high-fiber teacher yes everyone loves this guy he's great he's played by Luke Eisner nephew of Jesse Eisenberg playing little Lex Luthor you let your family die what he's not a real sweet that's it show's over stop recording the last thing I want to do is anger PewDiePie what a [ __ ] nice guy this is Kimi one of Cody's showed Joseph showed this is Kim one of Jody's childhood bullies oh yeah Tony can we get a compilation of any high school bully ever once please [ __ ] stinky so you can see Kimmy brings something new to the high school bully chart because she wears orange we're also shown Jodie being tormented as a child honestly whenever I see these flashbacks I just think of Logan Paul's airplane mode yep Cheers Logan you've seared my mind like a steak Oh Comerica do you like they've added me speak a little Swedish back in 2012 family vacay to soccer it's so beautiful there right hold it right there compulsive liars I have been to Stockholm and I can confirm a hundred percent that places are certified insane asylum just go onto my Instagram and look at my story for proof now the thing is Kimi is already making moves on Stieg that gives Jodi no chance to talk to him and advance the plot so you know we need some control what comedians are you gonna pick up Shanae Stieg coincidentally moves in with Jodi's friend Jack option B Stieg gets deported by ice agents back to Tijuana Mexico or C Netflix actually comes out with the funny charming and Internet of course it's a you brainless what else could it be here's your lollipop and your sticker yet you one don't come back again his family myself too at school today mom why would you do this because it's all the chaos going on in the world today it has never been a more vital time for Humanity yeah I'm I'm not touching this one look I know why Netflix disabled its rings apart from Amy Schumer get in the car the next scene Jody is explaining her love for steak to a big sister Harper you know ice not Diego Paraguayan Perlas sweat smelled like cappuccino light foam did she just explain a Latino person as a coffee I feel strangely racist for some reason oh no guys it's homecoming I can't think of any team comedies that have homecoming as the third act where you have to pay more as a single he's single Stewart declaring Warren in cells oh so we get a montage of a bunch of girls trying their luck with Stieg when Jodi stands up to try it's almost like everyone in the background psychically knew why she was standing up and what her intentions were before she even said anything can you guys chill out she's six foot one not the boy in the Striped Pyjamas quick update the current love triangle at the minute you have Jodi thirsting over Stieg but Kimmy has moved in on Stieg Jack also has the hots for Jodi but he's annoyed because Jodi's giving all her attention to Stieg and we're not even sure if Stieg likes Kimmy because their relationship seems to be more accurate with Sweden in Germany in 1942 come and look Andrews our railway right that was a bit offensive but if this film can describe Latino people by their sweat then I get a pass also I forgot to mention this but Harper nearly kills Jodi when she throws a knife but sneezes there's a montage of Jodi trying on different outfits then in the evening she gets a call from Stieg cue Goldeneye heartbeat sound effect oh my god she's low on health quick someone get her a green herb Oh waitron game only joking it was one of Kimmy's minions prank calling her it wasn't really Stieg gotcha honestly I don't know why's laughing when his first name is sniffer snipper that's like one syllable away from Sneed [Music] whoa God careful Jodi nearly swore that bro don't want to alienate your key audience to you there's a scene where Stieg is opening up to Jack about how back in Sweden he was the least attractive person and your home country this this oh yeah of course you kind of meant to feel sorry for him it's kind of hard to when he's easily the most conventionally attractive person in this movie I mean of course he's the most attractive he's against domestic violence right we're like one third into this movie and the plots already come to a standstill yet I don't know let's say Jodi gets sandwiched between two bullies hides behind a door and Steve's there yeah sure let's do that I just want a paycheck Guys and Dolls my favorite me too oh my god I was in cats oh my god no they've reminded me everything I've tried to forget oh my god you have this scene of Jodi and Stig singing to each other but it's really awkward cuz Stig's actor can clearly sing in person but Jodi's actress has just been dubbed in post so you have one person who's lip-sync is perfect and the others who's super off you're done or so Kimmy breaks up the celebration like Jafar from the Aladdin like no one in high school is this evil she even has a shirt on that says sassy that's like one away from wearing a shirt that says swag in morgues gold foil and the S is replaced with the telecine Jodi returns home after big reverse cooked to find her dad to organize the club to come over full of the world's tallest people wait a minute it's not Julianne Moore so talk club internacional has over 200 chapters in the US alone 200 chapters it's this the Brotherhood of Steel anyway she feels more like a freak than before and she goes to bed but not before using disk our giggle to look up height reduction surgery but then more plot convenience she gets a call from Stieg on her phone get a number who cares I just I want I want the film to do something you know what snipper you really chose the wrong day to mess with me okay the next time I see you I'm gonna take my size 13 Nikes and I'm gonna kick you in the nards this really is Steve yeah Stieg invites her over to his place when she gets there Jack answers the door sorry sorry just my battle royale partner of Shoshi from okinawa but hey this seed is massively offensive and incorrect I have not treated this wave of the Japanese when playing battle royale or so why is an American would you play exclusively with a Japanese person like G you guys know how bad the pain would be Jack now angry that Jody is fully interested in Steig becomes Austin McBroom from the ace family a man so separated from reality he can't help but annoy everyone around it if you wanted to this channel make sure you hit that subscribe button why did he point up there the subscribe buttons at the bottom [Music] no guys were working on 9:00 to 5:00 like the 99% seriously though if you defend these people you were shot in the head recently or you're seven and working from the ACE family meetups it's probably the latter I don't Jody and Stieg gotten the tram together and Stieg talks about how insecure Kimmy is secure sometimes you know oh my god the villain of the movie hasn't insecurity okay Netflix your antagonist has moved from Disney villain into Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles it's not a big step but still you know proud of you for making progress they also exchanged a kiss as well oh how sweet plot twist this film takes place in the late 1800s and Jody just caught cholera see one problem with tor girl is how none of the characters are likable Jody ignores her friends to pursue some pain a friend is trying to manipulate the guy she's interested in to not be interested in her and her sister is so infatuated with herself that she barely helps Jody you don't have to have likeable characters just characters whose intentions are understandable and realistic but none of these characters are realistic the caricatures of how boomers imagine teenagers Act also Jody has character development which is doing her makeup this turns one of the guys in Kimmy's group towards Jody because she's attractive now it's the equivalent of attacking someone in a bethesda game than instantly yielding all right and over your valuables like a fish so Steve cooks Jody and sits with Kimmy forcing Jack to sit with him as well and he does this really weird bit where he pretends to be Gordon Ramsay now two criticisms not enough bad language and where is the sad violin no no not that was this weird violin that seems to play in every Gordon Ramsay video and trust me I've seen a lot so my ears have become keenly aware of this sad violin there's even a compilation of it on youtube if you want to watch also Jack finds a bond with another girl because they're both Jodi goes to Stieg to tell him it was very naughty that they kissed and they should only remain friends thank God she did this by the way I was about to add her into Heath Ledger Joker levels of evil scene transition a marching band nice one looking directly at the camera so all the bands playing Jodi can see how happy everyone is except her very sad Kimmy suddenly appears and tells her that Sneed snipper is interested in her and wants it to come to an escape room on Friday but plot twist her friend Farida also has tickets to do something on Friday could this be contrived conflict to forces into the third act oh my goodness what a conundrum anyway Jodi goes to the escape room where they see this really scoff doctor for silly a from Princess and the Frog and you know he's telling everyone the rules I say scoffed but you know that they'll do a live-action remake in the next five years so yeah there's a montage of them solving the escape room look she found a key no moved this is literally a skyrim sidequest Jesus Christ so then they get the Big Brain idea to take a break inside the escape room with only 12 minutes left at the right has been outside the past ten years anyway they all have this group kissing scene where they're all looking at each other so it becomes some kind of weird awkward figurative orgy Jodi and Stig meet the next day and a range a day despite that going back on everything they said beforehand hear me out this is pretty stop Kimmie is a [ __ ] bag but she's still dating Stieg and he has said nothing about breaking up with her also remember Harper Jody's sister yeah the the movie totally forgot as well so she's quickly added into this scene where she and Jody deep in their sisterhood yeah slay Queen the next scene Jody is a talent show with her parents waiting for Steve to turn up but plot twist he doesn't show up Oh God well you've got 30 minutes of runtime what else do you expect now wouldn't it be great if we could meet and exceed guest expectations in the ongoing Middle East conflict going on with this movie literally the most obscure sentence I've heard it's cinema and of course everyone's applauding as expected Jodi's family aren't exactly happy that Stieg stood them off her dad does a little swerve with his car because that's all the insurance budget for the film would allow also Jody for some reason goes to a house party straight after which is playing copyright music Thank You wmg and Jody bumps into Stieg and he has this terrible excuse basically telling the audience even though he is attractive he's a total brain lip he's not malicious or vindictive he's just completely brain dead I guess Stieg is now the the anti hero of this movie Oh God it's the third act and we haven't had our sad music bit yet Michael play us out that's some for sadness right there now Jody's coming down the stairs just just give these two a bouquet of roses and a round of applause the next morning Jody wakes up with Jack on her bed and punches him in the throat so canonically tall girl is set in the same universe as Jeff the killer slashes Slenderman jack has a heart-to-heart with Jody about how much he likes her he likes how you set up front with your uber drivers because you don't want them to be lonely and wait what whoever in our society has thought that that uber driver needs to be sat next to because they're lonely they probably enjoy the extra free seat to keep their belongings on you stupid kids also Jody got a video message from Liz the gluten-intolerant girl that was trying to bang jack and they do that thing teen movies do with a video message despite being shot on iphone three or whatever looks like it was shot on a red 8k camera nice depth of field you got there I'd love to see all the attachment she asked my phone it even cuts to different shots in the video they were too lazy to pull up their phone and record the scene normally it's life's effort and it probably would have looked more realistic anyway Stieg talk smack about Jody to impress everyone so she came over here the other day and she was saying the reason that the escape was because understand to see me with Jack attacks her with his his cardboard box you saw him with me in trouble for shadowing there but plot twist Stieg actually likes Jody and cooks look I've really got to stop using that word instead of breaking aufstieg breaks up with Kimmy and confesses her love for Jody or any chance Jody goes if you still like your new f3 estes what a scrub get out of here oh yeah this all takes place during homecoming by the way you guys remember that homecoming poster yeah they shoe horn this in in the last three minutes of the movie I'm sure the writers were giving themselves high fives in the office Jody does a big speech about believing in yourself and you know if you get down vote on reddit it's never your fault and gets a standing ovation she leaves homecoming and links back up with Jack and his is wooden crate Jody confesses her love to Jack they live happily ever after yada yada yada shrek reference somewhere I guess mommy oh my god he stood on the crate to kiss her that was its purpose the whole time in conclusion torgul is a movie yeah we donate boys wrap up let's go alright seriously Torgo isn't a terrible movie it's ridiculously an offensive and bland but it didn't make me want to jump out a plane after viewing it's just a shame that Netflix promotes this filler content when it could be putting budget into actual enthralling programs come on Netflix give us one more season of worst cooks in America or how about the Passion of the Christ or possibly even oh my god what were they thinking they made 15 billion last year do you really think they'll care about your email complaint that you didn't like a single movie the conglomerate cooperations owned everything cyberpunk 77 is now yeah I got nothing else thank you for watching subscribe shut up and please stop watching my videos [Music] [Applause] we listen to the shop

Channel: Pyrocynical

Views: 11,708,811

Keywords: tall girl netflix, tall girl, tall girl review, netflix review, meme, satire, Tall girl is worse than you can imagine, tall girl is a bad movie, pyrocynical

Id: XnkN9Vv61bA

Length: 22min 53sec (1373 seconds)

Published: Sat Oct 26 2019

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