Temptation Island is mental

okay what's up everybody today i want to talk about probably my favorite crying woman tv show crying woman tv is what i now use to refer to as like garbage reality tv you know the bachelor and any show like that it could even have some game element involved i think they're all just elaborate schemes to get women crying on camera that seems to be the only thing they promote every bachelor promo for example is just that tune in this wednesday to watch another white woman cry then everyone's at home really upset you know oh look what you did to the white lady it's kind of odd to think people get hype about that they see a promo for a tv show and they're like oh [ __ ] show me her emotional trauma i need to see this anyways when i watch crying woman tv it's typically you know some dating oriented show but this one in particular you know without saying the name uh let me paint you this picture imagine you're in a relationship you've been dating for a couple years you're at a point where it's serious but you're still kind of young in that relationship maybe you're even considering taking the next step you know marriage or something like that so you decide to really forge that relationship to really make it stronger you should go as a couple to an island and live apart from each other in two separate houses with other single people and see if you give into temptation yeah i'm talking about temptation island some of you might watch this i know a handful of you have told me to watch this show this is probably one of the best train wrecks i've ever seen they're not paying me to to say any of this the show almost left me with like a mild form of trauma you know it's just something that kind of hits me while i'm driving like you know i'll just be going somewhere and i think about the show and i just think man that was that's kind of [ __ ] up so this is how it starts off they introduce these four couples let me read off their names there's carl and nicole they kind of got like this age gap thing going on there's javen and sherry john and katie and evan and casey so it kicks off and it's introducing you to each couple and you can kind of see little moments where you say okay i think in a in this scenario like he might be tested here she might be tested there blah blah blah you're getting that vibe and it's happening pretty quick you're only about like three four minutes into the show and then it comes to evan and casey and then evan out of nowhere evan gets on screen and he drops this bomb you know my dad cheated on my mom and it it led him down the road to actually be murdered by the woman that he was cheating with husband it rocked me to my core you know i love the idea of marriage right what in that moment right there the show goes from like here to what what are we doing man i know when he said that in the casting room the casting director was like oh my god evan wow give me give me one second i just i just need to talk to our producer for just one second oh my god the season's gonna [ __ ] roll yeah yeah yeah yep that part hit me like a like a brick he said it and mine i like tore a nerve like whipping my attention to television i was like what so i've just learned this about evan and i'm watching the boats with the couples cruise up to the shoreline it's a beautiful setting and then they reveal the host as mark wahlberg with an l in its mark l wahlberg they touch down on the island and mark l wahlberg takes them to one of the houses that some of them are going to be staying in he sits them down goes around the room with his reptilian eyes and he gets a temperature on all the relationships in the room bro the look in mark l wahlberg's eyes in that room i think that's what happens to your eyes after you take the limitless drug for longer than six months it's like he could almost see the destruction that he's going to do to their relationships one of the relationships that sticks out to me is john and katie katie comes into it saying that she feels jon isn't an alpha she basically calls him a beta you know doesn't qualify as a sigma she just kind of calls him a baby back and she would prefer a man who's alpha specifically because she wants an alpha male to you know start a family with then you get to javen and sherry and javen kind of just comes across like he's got a wire on him at all times you know it's like he's in protective custody he just won't speak too quickly he's making sure he's good to speak and then he will speak you know sherry has got him like that and then you got carl and nicole i think carl's like 31 and nicole's 25. they present some of their issues but you know one of the glaring things is the age gap our age gap and the maturity is a big difference in our relationship and i think if he was to meet somebody that was older it can happen so that's definitely nerve-racking and kind of the way it's edited it makes you feel okay you know carl might carl might skip down whatever so after mark gets them all to kind of spill their guts and be vulnerable and open them up [Music] jesus that sounded that sound is so violent so after mark splits them open and gets a good look at their guts he takes them all as a group to go meet the singles the singles is the term they use for the people that are really just going to you know make their relationships toxic in some capacity they bring the four couples and they sit them down and they have this this massive waterfall covering these you know silhouettes it's this really big reveal and they kill the water and they flip on the lights and they proceed to show you the most regular people you've seen in your entire life this specifically got me howling because you know when you think about a show like this you're thinking oh they're gonna really you know really [ __ ] with them they're gonna get like 30 out of tens and and supermodels or or people like hi i'm in dave i'm seven five i'm a multi-millionaire and i'm here to find love you know but no instead they just show regular ass people but what i'm talking about just look just look at these people oh my god [Music] you look at the way they're dressed the haircuts and [ __ ] you're just kind of like are these like models for coals like man these people just seem so default right we're all like sizing each other up it's crazy nicole said that and you know what she was thinking she said everybody here is babe everybody here is like a four why did we come here standing in front of you are 24 eligible single men and women they're all here for one reason that's to find love this scene is great too because you know javen knows that sherry has like like an eyeball tracker on him so i know he's looking down the middle like he's looking over mark's shoulder he's just [Music] shari's got a device in her left pocket that vibrates anytime javen looks at a woman i just wanted you to get a chance to see them and let them introduce themselves to you because your journey begins right now uh not too impressed [Laughter] it was right about here you know i was i was invested in the show but when she said that i went let's go alright so now everyone knows what they're up against the men know what kind of dudes are going to be approaching their ladies vice versa and now they separate them the puppies are out with the wolves and what do they do they give them alcohol which is great because now instead of talking to a therapist or maybe some kind of professional about the issues that they're having or someone they can trust now they're just drunk talking to a stranger saying things that maybe they hadn't had the courage to say before but now they're just saying it to a random person and it's on camera you could tell pretty quickly where the cracks are and you know the singles naturally are just just pouring gas on it you know oh whoa i love my girl i love her i'm glad you do i love it sounds like that's the hard one to love so like why are you here i mean clearly there's a problem i mean you just have to focus on the fun you want to have blah blah blah blah blah blah you can see the couples you know every shot they're taking that they're just they're deleting parts of their memory and and their hard drive is starting to just become erased clean now i mentioned earlier katie you know has an issue with john not being an alpha male now katie gets drunk and uh spoiler alert starts telling you know every dude that she thinks jon is a baby back you know she's just kind of saying whatever the hell she wants to say and she gets around to this comment where she goes i don't think john would be a good father he's not very alpha and she says to the other guy you seem very alpha and i think that'd be great for raising kids because you know i want my kids to be able to go out and do outdoors things and i want my husband to be able to show my kids how to do xyz which is kind of ignorant on her part because i don't know where she thought she was going to be raising her kids tick-tock is going to be raising your kids you're not going to have anything to do with your kids they're going to learn how to cook food crack ayahuasca all kinds of stuff they're going to learn from tick-tock neither you or john were ever going to teach your kid a damn thing even in katie's ideal scenario you know if she would have left john and got her alpha male and had their kid and been like tiny alpha go with your alpha dad to cut down some firewood that kid would have just perked up and like i learned how to throw an axe on tick-tock anyway you get the point i'm trying to make so i see that and i think god damn it would suck if jon had to see her say that he's just not as manly i suppose and i hate to use the word manly but i'm always like wanting to do outdoors things active things like if we were to have children he would be able to teach our sons how to do that kind of stuff i can't wait to have a son that's the bonfire where the producers take out-of-context clips of each other's partners and show them and just see you know all right take that little bit of information and uh go along your way it's in those bonfires that mark l wahlberg goes from this you know earnest weird cult leader to jigsaw i mean they're wired up in this weird situation they're they're trapped and they have to watch this monitor and they just get a little piece of information and now yeah escape that emotional labyrinth you know that's on you not me so you see that and you think well watching that is brutal and then john just decides to share this bit of information you know i got um a little family history i had a loving dad but he ended up committing suicide about five years ago to which mark l wahlberg replies i am so sorry i didn't know this and for her to say that and know my past that's that's why it stung a little more to hear her say that as a producer of the show why would you leave that in oh i had no idea he just shrugs that one off as if john had just mentioned like his blood type or something so as the show progresses you know these people go on dates they'll they'll party in the house they'll do all kinds of stuff and the couples get separate glimpses of each other just through this very small lens and i have to say by the end of the show this is the first time i felt bad for reality tv contestants any other show i've seen like this i just think ah bruh that's theatrics that's editing that's producers messing with them but this show i actually was thinking goddamn they had no clue what the [ __ ] they're in for another thing i love about the show is typically when you see contestants there's like an element of they're kind of putting it on for the camera but i feel this is one of those shows where you weirdly actually got to know who these people were i find that you know you're looking at some of these people in the house and you're thinking i'm conflicted because i kind of want him they do such a good job of presenting some of these people that you start to root for them and even you as the audience start to forget that these people are in relationships it's it's clever i got to give it to him you also learn other cool things like uh like john what was the highlight of the day ladies john's package everything is bigger in texas felt great getting that first one out of the way now that's all nice but it does end in disaster for some of these people which made me think why do we have to make these shows so much about emotional terror why not physical terror why not put these couples in scenarios where they're literally fighting for their love we take javen and sherry sherry steps into a room that has a time released floor above a pit of snakes she's going to be hanging out there for six days she's got food water she's perfectly taken care of but on the sixth day the floor is just going to remove itself and she's gonna be trapped in a pit of snakes javen he gets dropped off like i don't know 20 miles west or something and he has to go through a series of obstacles and survival moments and really prove to her physically that he wants to be with her and he has the choice he could get three days in and go i don't even know if i if i love her that much i mean that's evil but you know in that way we don't have to see sherry physically suffer she doesn't have to go into the pit of snakes they could just approach her on the third day and be like hey uh javen changed his mind uh we were gonna put you in the pit of snakes but i feel like that's kind of [ __ ] up meanwhile she's standing on the other end of that like [Music] bro it's it's not even six hours in hey shit's play man i ain't gonna switch it up yeah i might lose a few ask me if i give a [ __ ]

Channel: Noel Miller

Views: 2,921,729

Keywords: noel miller, tiny meat gang, cody ko, tmg, love island, steamy tweets, suki, fortnite, games, cody and noel, uncle noel, thats cringe, thenoelmiller, noelle miller, comedy, satire, vine, rap, sketch comedy, roast, stand up

Id: HdIX_DUop1A

Length: 14min 12sec (852 seconds)

Published: Wed Feb 24 2021

Reddit Comments

[u/sluttydrama]

I really hope this show gets more popular :))

[u/JJhooper0012]

I have watched this video like 4 times now it’s funnier every time