WEIRD DM's: Weird Relationships

all right big energy big energy Noah let's hit him with that big energy you ready three two my name is Gustavo wonky slush I blinked all right now today is another very special installment of weird DMs I posted on my YouTube channel in the community section because you guys know I'm all about Community you know one large community that encompasses smaller communities small community of tall people short people medium-sized people ugly people people with no ass people who can't do 15 push-ups which I think is like 90 percent of you so you know just always building my community and I asked you what was your weirdest relationship normally when I ask these questions you know I might get like 20 or 30 responses you know people who are really confident telling a piece of their life but this one this one is by far the craziest one I think the post itself had like 700 replies or some slime and then the emails I got we narrowed it down to 60. and that was narrowing it down and they're still coming in and these titles are just let me just give you a preview look at this fake doctor cat girl I dated my dad dad pee pee pants he ate his own semens I love dead people blood in the strip club you know a good amount of these sound like really washed up pop punk bands and so I'm kind of excited to dive into this and we'll see where it goes man here's a perfectly wholesome one to start on uh underwear sniffer yo so this was actually one of my boys exit you're telling stories on other people's behalfs man you need to go out and live some life of your own ta disappointed in you next oh look at this one it's about ice cream buckle up dude all right all right I could hear that one it came from the back of your shoulders buckle up dude first guy I ever dated was way older than me and honestly had no excuse we went to a park next to a supermarket I bought a tub of cherry ripe ice cream and some spoons I think you have a little picnic if he's way older than you doesn't have a place you guys can hang out why is he hanging out with you in the park it's like these people who go after the younger ones it's like they want to be caught why is it always in a park you're already doing something weird do you have to just do it publicly a little later we'd finish the ice cream and we're making out he asked if he could whip it out while gesturing down keep in mind I was foreign I'm not the police report this to the police I can't I can't okay this is so much responsibility I I can't get me out of here all right let's go here weird relationship he understood Charles Manson all right was on the last day of holiday in turkey with my now ex-boyf he then decides to admit to me he lied when I previously asked him if he had ever been arrested or charged for a crime whoa just skipped like four chapters right there you skipped like many chapters and many details how did he admit this to you were you both in Turkey why was it pertinent to you that he had ever been arrested or charged for a crime did something about him make you think this you're not [ __ ] Tarantino give us the full details I'm already thinking I need to go all right so that answers it he's in Turkey bad vibes Etc but I'm stuck in turkey with his whole family he then decides to play Charles Manson interviews through a speaker and says I kind of get where he is coming from though I wanted experiences with like lots of color and information and all all these are within the first two are just vague descriptions of potential criminals I am not the cops I'm I'm not the police I can't do anything with this information do you realize what you just did you sent this in but all you did was walked in the room and said you know I used to date a guy that empathizes with Charles Manson oh [ __ ] hey my Uber's here I'ma head out yeah the rest of us are sitting wondering where where is that guys he's still in Turkey does he where where where is he because now he's just out there all right I guess moving on fake doctor I think I take the cake with the weirdest relationship because it was marriage yeah yeah not marriage is strange why why would you ever do that I met this guy when I was in my second year of University he was beginning his first year of medical school now just real quickly because they stayed at University I want to guess they're Canadian just I don't know why but just take a guess we dated for three and a half years and decided to get married before he gets matched for residency at hospitals he interviewed at AKA graduates medical school soon after I find out he is not getting into any hospitals he said he applied and interviewed for I asked him what is happening after a few hours of pressing and excuses he finally tells me he's never in med school it he would wake up every morning get dressed get in his car and sit in different parking lots every day until it was time for him to come home for four years he never got into medical school he never applied to medical school and he didn't even finish undergrad he lied to every person in his life including his doctor father [ __ ] man anyways being the newly married idiot I was I forgave him didn't give him for it just moved past it I'm laughing because God damn you are stupid no but that is a special kind of love and I'm mad he ruined that for everyone else you could have gave that to someone who actually appreciated it instead you gave it to a cosplayer this guy's cosplaying as a med student why would you cosplay as a med student that's the worst one I mean obviously you know if you want to contextualize it it was probably like insane amounts of pressure from his dad to be a doctor but [ __ ] man you could have cosplayed as so many other things that are actually cool or interesting I asked him what did he really want to do since he clearly had no career path in mind and he said he wanted to go back to school he applied got into local school for undergrad meets another married woman and then cheats on me with her look I mean this isn't the nicest way possible but you strike me as the type of person who just learned that magic is fake faking a doctor is pretty easy you know it's it's pretty unassuming but I'm just surprised that not once did you have questions or you know discussions about med school or learning about patience or any of that but again he faked it so maybe it's just stuff he read up on and and you know knew how to carry a conversation very well you know some Catch Me If You Can type stuff from me to you you need to stop telling this story you need to never ever tell anyone that you were dating a fake parking lot doctor you just to make yourself feel better you know tell yourself that you were dating a cosplayer all right did he really sit in that parking lot for eight hours like he didn't even go anywhere he'd at least try to do something entertaining he really just sat in a car for eight hours I mean that is that is Peak Depression man that is like avoidance to the highest degree if he's gonna do that I mean he should have at least got a studio apartment somewhere else and like at least tried a game or something and just send in a sit in a car it's like I almost respect it you know the commitment to the bit to just sit in a car that was crazy all right next cat girl I once went on a couple dates with this girl and she seemed pretty normal and she was cool at first but on a third date we ended up stopping at her house for her to get something before we went back out you [ __ ] need to learn punctuation learned how to use a period there's like maybe four periods that should be 12 in here Olympic run on sentence man come on we ended up stopping at our house for her to get something before we went back out and while I was there I met her cat named Pickle not pickles just pickle important I was chilling with pickle on the sofa or she got her stuff and she came back out and said I have something funny to show you she went over to her kitchen drawers pulled out a roll of duct tape she walked over to pickle picked her up and put a strip of duct tape over her eyes and put her down and watched her run into things uh and then this next line is just like deeper into the abuse oh can't use this animal abuse like literally there's no hilarious part of animal abuse why do people send me such unusable crazy ass stories man all right weirdest relationship Walmart man now this sounds good so I had this toxic on and off relationship throughout High School in an off period I started talking to this guy who's in the group of guys my girlfriends and I hung out with I think get a diagram for that if you have to no he looked very similar to my on off boyfriend nice man she wanted that good old BOGO buy one get one why do people do that just perpetually getting the DLC version of the last person they were with just like I don't know wait for the next release maybe try a different game he's just trying to chase The Ghost and that's it Call of Duty is not fun anymore just accept it because he looked very similar to my on off boyfriend my friends all started calling him Walmart man literally behind his back it's just behind his back it's not literally but oh maybe you mean okay got it my bad I'm stupid anyways all we ever did was sit on his couch and smoke together Walmart damn you still call him Walmart you're sitting there Downing your friends and you just do it five seconds later you don't respect him anymore and your friends did Walmart was a virgin and on New Year's Eve my ex shows up while I'm at this party with him I get even more hammered Walmart makes a move and as I'm taking this man's virginity nice I call him by my ex's name inevitably yeah you like that yeah look oh hell yeah I love Cold War I mean I'm I meant to say war zone I did I did I I did I did so just for being together for a month or so this man was nicknamed not only Walmart but also my ex's name which is all of his slash our friends used oh and my ex and I talk the morning of New Year's and got back together oops weirdest part was that I still had to break up with this man after all that happened as if that wasn't enough for him to call it well I wonder why oh Jesus man yeah I mean you know to you it would be obvious that he should have bounced because you disrespected the [ __ ] out of him but some other people have these things uh it's called feelings and sometimes they possess this feeling called hope and maybe because he decided to spend his first experience with you just maybe he had hope that that meant something to you the frequency that I see people use wish and Walmart and knockout I just I can only imagine how many people have been called The Wish version of their ex it's just like it's just rude man you have like the wish version of my ex's dick nice shout out to Walmart man I hope he's doing okay oh here we go video attached my ex-girlfriend was a Christian witch who wanted to use Moon water to seal my mirrors okay I have to hear this headphones on hey what's up I'm Daniel and today I'm going to be telling the story of how I dated a Christian witch if you haven't heard of Christian witches before I don't blame you because uh I hadn't heard of them either hold up are you are you tricking me into watching a YouTube video You Are what the [ __ ] is this okay it's unlisted all right I won't bully him let me pause and say I appreciate the editing Daniel because we know we know on this channel some people send in videos and they can't tell stories they just can't this is gonna be a really quick story because I only dated this girl for like a month and a half so one of the things she told to me and this is the weirdest thing I've ever had anybody say to me is she and her friends used to call me Walmart and I just don't know what that had to do with me you know but I digress she asked me if I had any mirrors in my room and I said yes I do there's actually you can see behind me uh my closet is a mirror and she said oh well I'm gonna need to seal them seal them she's like yeah I'm gonna need to seal them so that demons won't come through them I've lived in this room my entire life not once has a demon just strolled right on out my mirror and said what's up she proceeds to say oh wait I'm gonna need some Moon water to do that I think any rational human being would ask what is Moon water Moon water is a cup of water you set by a window so it can harness the energy of the Moon I guess and you use that to seal off mirrors so that the mirrors are then no more a portal that a demon can go through anyways that's my weirdest person I've ever dated story I will leave off with this one last thing though weird girls go hard in the sack bro oh that's why she wanted the water she just hated the reflection of you two in the mirror that's the demon she saw in the mirror that's where the next email is gonna be I told a guy I was a Christian witch so I could spray water all over his mirrors because I hated his side profile while we were [ __ ] that's such a great out I'm a I'm a Christian witch you got any mirrors oh yeah we have to we have to distort those the demons are coming also do you have lights in your bedroom yeah cause we have to those got to stay off yeah most definitely I've been in quite a few weird relationships but probably the strangest experience I've had was with this one guy who's about a foot taller than me see tall guys they're freaking weird why do you like that I went over to his place to watch a movie after it finished up we went into his room he told me wait so I sat down on his bed while he went into his closet after a minute he emerged wearing a full plague doctor outfit plague doctor isn't that like the um aren't those the people that dance on Tick Tock like Frontline worker no a different one okay oh this yes yeah this creepy ass man oh you're in there playing spy versus spy that is that is cool what an exciting exhilarating thing not even a cheat mask and robe this thing was nice absolutely terrified combined with the sheer height of that lad we broke up after a couple months but now I'm pretty good friends with his other ex plague doctor outfit that is so crazy that is so crazy to watch a movie with a girl to get up after watching a movie and just go watch this and come out holy oh this is some horrible pun you know I got your vaccine right here damn son whips it out man yeah you know I'll be I'd be pretty weirded out I understand being weirded out by that one that's definitely a weird yeah I wish I knew what happened afterward like did he keep it on and act like things are normal or did he get insecure and take it off you know did you just sit there and stare for a long period and then he realized yeah I shouldn't have did that dated the Joker reincarnate all right cool so my first relationship by the way no good Story begins with the word so so because you're letting us know it's going to be long so my first relationship was in ninth grade with this guy who was top tier cringe at that age well first of all what are you in ninth grade you're like 12. you're all [ __ ] cringe you were cringe don't don't absolve yourself from cringe okay he's obsessed with Deadpool to the point that he'd randomly pull out quotes from the movie and we'd be talking about stuff that had nothing to do with it all right so he's a dork he tried to convince me twice that he was the YouTuber Mr Creepypasta before his face reveal and would execute trying to get a reaction from me the exact same way as well he'd be like hey so you know the faceless YouTuber who reads creepypasta stories that you like yeah that's me such a good Tech talk hey so you know that faceless YouTuber who reads creepypasta stories that you like yeah it's me and I sat there and blanked like sure you are you make it wise about fighting strangers who look like okay wow you're [ __ ] you are nine years old this sucks you didn't date The Joker reincarnate you just dated a teenager I don't know what the expectations are now that teenagers have to be cool you're all [ __ ] dumb you're all corny like everyone's corny for the most part before 16. that's the way it should be all right you don't know what cool is I don't and if you if you are older than nine years old reflecting on this person being like uh what a Clinton shut up there was this guy dated who I had a non-sexual relationship with and he always asked me to pee on him and in his mouth yeah one time he asked me to do it in public he also never stopped talking about how badly he wanted okay all right we're out of here my last relationship was when I just turned 19 and the dude was 24. you know it didn't end well if you're just calling him the dude super cool at first kind of a cowboy looking fool that liked weird music I was into it I hated mainstream guys I'd only listened to rap with no sense of style anyways I remembered the second time we were gonna chill I called him and told him my homegirl was in town and I haven't seen her in over a year she invited me over to her little bro's birthday party so I canceled on him he was like okay cool but not too long later I got a call from him drunkest I was worried and when I went over he was on the floor with a knife and oh boy my dumbass was like cool super toxic I'm gonna stay with them for another year it happens like that I guess he'd break up with me then call me when I'd be out with friends and get mad and take pictures oh my oh my oh my I don't think we even need to go any further with this other than I hope you're well and uh I feel bad that you would feel compelled to stay for another year you didn't have to do that I dated this guy in high school what what is with the High School Stories and we had a ton of stuff in common and got along amazing we had known each other casually for a couple years but I never knew we had anything in common after a few months I found out he had paid my friend to tell him stuff about me and my interest two years before we started dating in that two years he changed his wardrobe bought vinyls and posters of my favorite bands bought the same car as me spent at home this guy was calculated in not a good way spent hours watching all my favorite shows and listening to my favorite music the worst part is he didn't think that was weird at all and just saw it as shooting his shot that made fun of me for being too sensitive because I said that's creepy and obsessive you know what's sad is there are some people out there who would welcome that kind of attention he studied for the test maybe he just had really strict parents man and they just encouraged him you know hey hey it's always good to be prepared all right was he like some honor roll Kid maybe that's all it was he just treated you like the SATs uh glad you're out of there though next blood in the strip club this this can't be good oh [ __ ] no yeah can't use that I once dated a guy who got off on being made fun of for having a small dick I can't use that all right weird ass relationship hey Noel a couple years ago I was texting this pretty cute girl that lived very very [ __ ] far from my house one day she asked if I wanted to go out with her and I said sure a couple days later we got some sushi and hung out at the beach at the beach she asked me to be her boyfriend and my dumb ass said yeah sure I guess you gave her a ton of confidence with that one do you want to be my boyfriend um yeah sure I guess like a week later I went over to some park near her house a whole one hour in the subway plus one hour busing I got there she had some weird sticks and rocks making a pattern on the ground so I asked what she's doing and if it was some witchcraft ritual uh here we go again and it was some weird witchcraft ritual to make us stay together forever I told her I needed to go take a slime and I just ran back to the subway station and blocked her on everything you met her in a park so I know it was like in the middle of that thing and she saw you run and she knew she just stood up and she watched you run damn that's such a good movie yeah you couldn't write a better scene that that is an indie film to the fullest she's just sitting there arranging rocks and silence no give me some sound design just [Music] what's that just a witchcraft ritual to make us stay together forever I gotta take a slush okay laughs then you just run it in the distance in silence she she had to listen to each one of your footsteps on the pavement just get quieter and quieter and quieter until they were no more I like how you call that a relationship there wasn't even relationship you didn't give that a chance you just you bolt it you bolt it at the first ritual you didn't give it two if you let her finish who knows you could have ended up in a beautiful marriage what I'm noticing so far is like a lot of people that just seem to be like from the Midwest or like the east coast and a lot of you walking into weird situations and being scarred look at this I was 16 at the time I was a freshman and just got into a relationship for the first time everything was going great until I had to meet her family at first it started out with them wanting to help them around their house for me to be able to see her which I was fine with yo that is so that is such a crazy thing to do as a as a parent uh someone else's kid comes into your house and he's like you want to hang out with my kid clean up those leftovers then one day told me I couldn't hang out with her unless I helped her dad catch a pig so I could help him Slaughter it let's just say our relationship didn't last much longer all right look man hey don't don't put it on the family don't call them weird because you're slow you're the one who couldn't catch the pig obviously you failed to test just tell the truth man you didn't have it you didn't have what it took to catch that hog oh man if this isn't all of you here we go Tinkerbell porn I used to date a she SoundCloud rapper who would cheat on me all the time but I didn't really find out till we broke up he didn't shower unless I made him and his room is the epitome of disgusting trash men's would take a bunch of Adderall to make his music he had a show and literally didn't know any of the words to the songs anyways I found out he was riding his bike over 16 miles a day just to cheat on me when I found that out I also found out he watches Tinkerbell and other animated porn whoa when I when I confronted him about it he said when I confronted him about it he said his homie had his phone that is a modern day love story right there I I don't even think I could say anything funnier than that a24 just heard that and they're frothing at the mouth like we could do something with this oh here we go hey Noel I almost don't want to send this to you because he's a wanker and he does not deserve the time of day but he wrote this diss track about me and I will leave it for you to decide big fan from London oh [ __ ] I feel bad because he didn't even ask for this all right let's go it's all but the good news is now you can finally act a slot [Laughter] hey look man we already have one Eminem all right we got it we're not looking for another because he's still alive you don't understand he's still alive and it's not like he's gone and faded and now there's room for like we're good ah Jesus man I was picturing him in his friend's bedroom they got the mic set up he got his he's got his hoodie up tight and he's like you know turn the lights off I'm about to go in that that beat comes on he's like [ __ ] you Britney let's go [Laughter] well I think that's gonna do it that was intense what is in that inbox was a lot more intense than I had anticipated nonetheless you know we got something out of it so I hope you all had fun I hope you all had fun you know I don't give a [ __ ] if you had fun in the next video maybe we shouldn't put it as you know I don't give a [ __ ] if you have fun I want to be a little bit nicer so uh thank you for watching and I'll see you on the next one goodbye [Music]

Channel: Noel Miller

Views: 3,264,897

Keywords: noel miller, tiny meat gang, cody ko, tmg, love island, steamy tweets, suki, fortnite, games, cody and noel, uncle noel, thats cringe, thenoelmiller, noelle miller, comedy, satire, vine, rap, sketch comedy, roast, stand up

Id: P5iTHxVd2ZM

Length: 25min 50sec (1550 seconds)

Published: Wed Sep 22 2021