Royal Family Dating Show: Would you marry Harry

2014 it was a good year for media at least i can remember it that way game of thrones was decent and i was watching orange is the new black and vine was still alive it still had some some life in it still had a leg to stand on in 2014 netflix wasn't asking you if you were still there you know just kept playing media and just let you [ __ ] or argue it didn't bother you it was a good time but while everyone was having fun what most people didn't know is that there was this little piece of darkness going on in the northern uk berkshire england is the home of the inglefield house or what most americans would call a dusty ass castle this castle held 10 american women for the purpose of breeding a psychological prison that was being developed by none other than ryan seacrest this psychological prison is what we know as a reality tv show called i wanna marry harry the show was canceled after four episodes despite filming eight because it was that good they had to take it off tv because it was that good they were afraid that game of thrones was gonna dive if this show stayed on the air they had to pull it and it's a unique show it's a very unique show it's not a show that you could get away with now because now everyone knows british people are not real what they did was they took 10 women from the states and they brought them to the inglefield house then they introduced this guy who looks like prince harry if he was drawn by an 11th grader and they don't tell these women that it's prince harry but they use helicopters cars the castle obviously to try to influence them into believing that this dude is royalty and piece by piece this guy is tasked with convincing them that he is prince harry and from there he's supposed to establish a relationship and somehow find love now i know some of you think you're better than these women and you would have immediately just sniffed out this dude ain't the real one but to be fair the royal family is probably the easiest set of famous people to impersonate i mean they are for the most part dripless at least the men are they all dress like unlockable skins and hitman they don't have any style it's like sometimes they wear a suit sometimes they look like they do it for a bank i mean they're not hard people to look like and plus half of them are bald or going bald so but if you somehow still feel that you would have caught it there's no way you would have been convinced you would have noticed that guy's eyes are way too close together wouldn't have mattered because they even had fake therapists on set to gaslight all the contestants into doubting themselves that's not an active part of the show i found that out after the fact but it's good that you have that context before going in because oh boy from the moment this show starts you're looking at it and you know where all the money went it went to the castle the helicopter and the plane tickets and there's nothing left you see how fast these people convince themselves of a reality that on paper is so ridiculous i signed a paper to be flown on a plane to a castle and now this guy who is potentially very famous and part of a royal family is having a filmed contest to see if maybe i'm the one for him that prospect is so blinding because even from the outset none of these women question the security detail that this guy has it doesn't even occur to them that these guys could probably get their ass beat by teenagers the villain for the whole season is obvious right away whether that's editing or purely her personality i can't say but her name is megan megan makes this crazy comment about whether it's prince harry or harry potter she could get him prince harry harry potter i don't care men don't intimidate me men don't make me nervous so i'm just excited that line to me was so wild because at that point in time i'm pretty sure harry potter was like i don't know 15 years old in the books why would you be proud about bagging a 15 year old that's weird i'd like to thank the academy and my parents yeah the show's very straightforward they all wake up they get drunk and they just wait to go home that's it at the end of the night he's kind of supposed to tally up who he's into which sounds like most shows now right like the bachelor or something but the difference is they don't really do a good job of forcing them to develop relationships you know one-on-one they just kind of get them all drunk and then they just leave the 13 of them to hang out and then the dude just has to awkwardly sit there and engage but not engaged because he can't remember all the things about being prince harry so he's afraid to say too much so he's just kind of standing there smiling like and by episode two you realize this guy doesn't have a system he's not there for love he's just horny and he's honestly kind of creepy he repeatedly uses the word glint he says oh she has a glint in her eye she had a she had a glint in her eye shall we say she's got a very cheeky smile a twinkle in her eyes there's an a1 moment in the second episode where the first lady gets pied off and she's standing there with tears in her eyes and she says to be quite honest he's felt my type i don't normally go for a ginger he's not my time i also have to say this is the first reality show i've seen where they used alcohol and it didn't work that's how you know it's bad you can feel the vibe of the show just completely roll over when they have their first staged paparazzi that's the one that gets them geeked because the woman who gets a picture taken of her she goes back to the group and she says there was paparazzi and then one of them says are you going to be in a magazine so you're gonna be on the magazine well that's what i said and when she hits that line half the group was like um i have got you could really see the glaze settling in over their eyeballs because again none of them noticed that this dude does not have royal game that guy talked so regular and he kind of acted like a wet noodle now i kind of labeled the dude a creep and maybe that's not fair to say because he wasn't really able to show much personality and it kind of just seemed like he was going from a script the whole time and this dude's not an actor he was a regular guy he didn't even own a car he rode a bike to work so for him to get this casting call and to just go for it and have the gall to finesse 12 people i mean damn this guy should have been working for herbalife he was in the wrong scenario he could have had all 12 of them women chanting i am a chairman he would have got him now at this point the women are pretty convinced that this is the dude and the lengths they go to to secure this relationship are hysterical megan at this point has turned into gollum i mean she has two personalities she talks in a higher voice and a lower voice and she kind of functions like a ventriloquist her eyeballs always seem like they're hanging out of her face i cannot stop staring at kelly [ __ ] is covered in barbecue sauce all over her face this young woman kelly does what i think is probably the funniest thing i've seen potentially all year they're having like a picnic or something on a row boat and it's them too and they go out to the middle of this pond and she stands up on the seat and she looks at him she goes i'm gonna do a back flip and you see the horror in his face it kind of settles in he's like you're gonna do what and fake harry tries to convince her he says please don't you're gonna give yourself a haircut i'm not equipped to deal with that and she and says she's i'm gonna do it she says i did it earlier he reaches to stop her and she goes like this she puts her finger over her lips to be like and then she just she bubbles up to the surface and she's smiling she's looking at him she's like no i'm fine i'm fine despite seeing two of them and honestly that concussion probably helped his case because from that point forward she had no problem believing that he was the dude they have this pool party which i think should have told him right then and there there's no way this guy's royal this party sucks there's no way that a royal family member has this ass of a party it was just so dead and it felt like something for a teenager didn't feel like it was for you know 13 14 adults still there's a poetic scene in that whole moment where fake harry is watching the women dance and they're all learning how to twerk and in a confessional the fake harry says to camera i don't know what twerking is but i've definitely seen it the chelsea starts twerking it's a dance of sorts i haven't heard the term before but i've definitely seen it and you just can't help and go wow there was a time where people didn't know what that word meant there's this absolute dork on the show who goes largely unnoticed until this episode where she attempts to dj my heart is beating so fast i'm a little bit nervous not a person who ever wants to be the center of attention okay let's hear what beat she had get it carly [Music] and apparently she's djing the party you can't really tell by the edit it doesn't matter because she gets canned later that night and she killed me because as she is leaving the house she's not shaken by it at all she waves off the whole concept of royalty as materialistic she gestures to that castle and goes this doesn't impress me i'm not materialistic so stuff like this just doesn't really impress me taste that guys it tastes like salt to me this is when the show really spirals there's a moment where they're all at the table they're just talking about his dick and all they're saying is man if it's little i'm out i just want to know how big it is just tell us how big it is that's all we want to know six feet figure yeah cause if it's little i'm out which told me that for some women a helicopter or a castle isn't enough to hide a little dick so fellas if you're thinking about buying that castle maybe you want to reconsider megan turns into an absolute psycho she got the crazy girlfriend voice that's like in the top of your head she refers to this dude as babe like it's his name as if he's some kind of animal anytime i can you know cop a little feel of babe's booty i will it's a good one babe left the house babe was looking at me me and babe have eye sex he has eye sex with me he looks at you kelly's concussion just takes her to new heights i mean it just it has her reading this fiction book called the history of england it's crazy they run out of things to do so they have this talent show which for the most part is uncomfortable until jackie starts doing this hula hoop thing then it's really uncomfortable i was dying laughing but clearly she did something right because she won towards the end i found myself trying to tally up how many times this dude expressed guilt which was pretty often but he seemed to be enjoying it as well the whole thing is just these ladies doing a hot dog eating contest as things continue to unravel it gets to that point where you lift up the remote and you're just about to turn it off but just like any good tv show what do they do they kill off a villain and right before megan goes home she has his meltdown which is just man if anyone's taking themselves seriously in the house it's is there a crack pipe going around because i haven't hit him you just wonder sometimes how someone so grown can be so childish bro right before this whole thing falls apart he gets his face completely sucked by kelly and then rose puts it together that this dude isn't who he says he is but she's only one of two women out of the 12 that really put it together matt the dude playing harry has this great line where he says i really wonder if they'll like me for me [Music] no now i'm watching the last 10 minutes of the whole season and i'm thinking to myself after wasting my own life why did these people waste their life doing this especially these women because they're about to find out as just some regular dude which i guess is i don't know kind of like tinder or something the one woman that he chose will have spent so much time getting to know him getting so emotionally invested just to find out this dude doesn't even have a [ __ ] car it's not fair to expect her to love him because she's been lied to the whole time so what can she possibly get out of this and what does he get out of it because there's no way she's sticking around and they let me know literally in the last three minutes of the show they surprise him hey hey guess what you're gonna split a quarter million dollars a quarter of a million dollars will be split between the two of you as you embark on your life together the best part to all is that even though matt wasn't the real prince harry even his fake prince harry still fell in love with the actress damn took me long enough all right let's get some thumbnails uh let's see gas lighting [Music] yeah i might lose a few ask me if i give a [ __ ]

Channel: Noel Miller

Views: 989,034

Keywords: noel miller, tiny meat gang, cody ko, tmg, love island, steamy tweets, suki, fortnite, games, cody and noel, uncle noel, thats cringe, thenoelmiller, noelle miller, comedy, satire, vine, rap, sketch comedy, roast, stand up

Id: pB6QsIZHi5E

Length: 13min 52sec (832 seconds)

Published: Wed Jun 23 2021