The Best Reality Show

hello everyone welcome welcome welcome i'm finally caught up i know i'm late to it i know everyone's watched it already i know every sigma male podcast has chopped this show up and milked it for all it's worth but i'm here to shoot the dead horse one last time and i brought a freaking rocket launcher because i'm ready to go now let me preface this show the ultimatum is exactly the type of show that i would only watch on an airplane i would basically otherwise have to be in prison to want to watch this show that being said it blew my expectations away and had i not been on an airplane and i skipped this show i would have been sad because there's a lot to this show that is redeemable first and foremost let's just make some noise for the dogs real quick on that show let's go ahead and clap it up for the dogs the dogs they are the true victims in this scenario uh we need to commend them for standing beside these [ __ ] uh lunatics that are their owners um yeah did i write the jokes on my phone sure but that's just so i could have them a little bit organized um now really quick let me explain the structure of the show basically i think it's like six couples go in uh and each couple has one person between the two that has issued a marriage ultimatum meaning like you either are going to marry me or were done and so the purpose of the show is that these couples are going to swap amongst each other after getting to know each other they're going to choose a new partner live with that person for three weeks then go live with their original partner for three weeks and then make a choice at the end of those six weeks i also want to give a big big shout out to nick lachey and vanessa lachey i guess i don't know her original last name but they are married now so they share one they deserve credit for finding uh the perfect group of people uh for multi-level marketing if they were not on this show these people would be ripe for selling forex trading scams uh the willingness to engage in something like this is incredible um now i'm sure a lot of people have talked about the show and i've seen some people on twitter get you know going about how this show is morally corrupt and it's really bad and da da da shut the [ __ ] up following that logic you would not enjoy any other reality show we have been sacrificing young couples for entertainment for years now it's just what we do it's the american way so i don't even think that's a valid criticism of the show you knew what you were getting into i did not expect it to be the carnage that it was i'm impressed with how bad they flick these people up it's awesome they destroyed four couples they destroyed eight people's lives in irreversible ways uh which is freaking palpable in the reunion i mean you couldn't look at a more damaged group of people in their middle 20s what doubt has been planted in their brain from that whole experience why would you ever get married again why would you even care about tradition it's freaking awesome this show is genius quote me on that ebert and roper if you don't know what this show is um it's called the ultimatum marry or move on and it's basically a documentary about an orgy commanded by a drunk commanded by a drunk filipino woman named april now you would think then they must have shot it in houston but weirdly they shot it in austin i thought that was crazy too [Laughter] shouldn't laugh at my own [ __ ] but you know i had a good time just punching that one out into my phone another thing i'm not gonna waste any time doing is pointing out inconsistencies in their in you know oh what these people had character flaws no [ __ ] that's the point of the show they need to have character flaws so it's good if they were smart people or even regular you know sentient humans they wouldn't go on this show actually that's not fair they're just young and that's the best part there was no previous track record of what this show could have been you know what i mean yeah they had no idea what it was going to turn into or what it was going to do for them the only hope they had at least some of them uh specifically april the only hope they could have is that this was going to gas their social media and a few of them were right a few of them definitely got blown up from it but for them to agree and to go on netflix and to completely risk their relationship is beautiful i commend them all for doing it it's honestly really sick hey there don't mind if i interrupt to yep thank the sponsor of today's video which is none other than seatgeek summer concerts are here and seatgeek has all the tickets to all the events if you don't already know seatgeek is a ticketing app that makes buying tickets to events super simple i've got the app on my phone right here let me take a look at some events from my music project known as bad bunny yep 21 events available right now um and it's not just bad bunny that's available it's dosiacat it's the weeknd uh justin bieber if you're one of those people plenty more i've used seat geek a bunch especially when i buy tickets to monster jam it's probably my favorite way to get tickets to monster jam and look see geek wants you to get a good deal that's why when you're shopping on the app they show you green means a good deal red means a bad one and if you're somehow worried about you know ticket pricing don't worry i've got a hook up because if you use my code right now you'll get 20 off your first purchase of tickets with seatgeek using my promo code noel again that's 20 off your first purchase with the promo code noel on the seatgeek app make sure you click the link in the description to download the app to take advantage of that deal now let's get back to the video so yeah the point of this show is to be exploited that that's the whole reason so that's why i enjoyed it guilt-free that being said i think this is some of the best television i've seen in a long time i mean i like survivor they couldn't get moments as good as what we what you get on this show a few things i want to call out just because i'm an idiot is in episode four madeleine has this moment where she says i'm trying to put everything into my kids and i thought that was funny because some people go to jail for that same mentality [Laughter] also episode 4 this dude colby has like one of the greatest lines ever and i think we'll just cut to a clip real quick bro i've been needing a guys night out it's good to be a guy again he says uh been needing a guy's night out good to be a guy again one minor critique i have of the show which is actually not even a critique i think it just underscores how little of a they gave when they made this show which makes it really good is um there are so many shots where the camera is is clearly being unlocked from the tripod and the tripod they're using is is just a piece of [ __ ] because the the frame just rocks and then it starts to move and then how uh many moments where they're like supposed to be in the middle of something cute and then the thing the camera comes off sticks in the most not fluid way ever tons of shots out of focus which i loved i loved that they just didn't give a [ __ ] in the edit and the coverage they had is so unusable that they're just like yeah whatever just leave them blurred out during an argument who cares whoever is pulling focus on that show you know i know you had a tough time picking who to focus on you should have just gone out for a cigarette break and just left it as is because that's kind of how some of it felt it's really not a critique it's just something i noticed and i appreciate it i loved how shitty it was i also loved how some of the editing made no common sense there's a moment in episode four where madeleine is or madeline whatever there's no a in her name um but there is a no no but there is a k in her there's a kid yeah she's pregnant now oh congratulations yeah so it looks like the kid you know all the kids got put into her perfect yeah so congratulations colby he put all his kids into her you know side note is kind of crazy you put like a million of them in there and only one comes back yeah it's absurd why why did i win yeah oh because you're because you're long that's true yeah you got a big ass head true yeah and you saw i'm still i'm still shaped like a like a semen at this point basically big head long tail at the bottom yeah that's it yeah it's awesome don't ever talk again i'm joking i'm joking but i told you guys i was going to abuse him i told you i told you i was going to do that no the editing doesn't make any sense there's this moment where madeline is talking about kids and then it abruptly cuts this dude randall going i want a girl it's like okay sort of related but not really general impressions from the show you know hats off to them for choosing i guess they lived there but they chose to spend six weeks in austin and that's a long enough time for anyone to go crazy or leave their significant other hot ass wet ass moist ass town i'd be ready to dip too they pushed these people to the limit it was super super toxic you know they were able to extract domestic violence out of one couple which is you know and they put that in the edit that's the craziest part they extracted that much emotion out of two people and let's let a woman punch a man twice her size and they left that in oh yeah oh they left that in was it a good punch you didn't see it oh but you could see the deep regret that she had and how disgusted she was that she could be driven to that point and she ends the relationship right there she's like this is not it this is not me and she you know she cuts it off but i mean kudos to netflix for just laying that down and being like yeah put that out let's put that out it's not really netflix you know i don't know who edited it i don't know who had the final sign off netflix i still want to be part of your festival next year so it's a joke there's also really funny parts where they try to make very sort of innocuous things very dramatic like in episode five randall gets in an argument with madeline which by the way is a psycho argument in and of itself uh because she's wasted and randall takes it upon himself then to be like hey your dude just told me he cheated on you and she's like out [ __ ] hair i just want you right now and then you know he makes her upset and then uh it all kind of builds up to this moment where she's like i'm hanging out and she has to walk her dogs and she has two um and i love how i love how human this moment is because she knows walking two dogs is a pain in the ass and so she's trying to drag him both out the the apartment and randall says i'm gonna come with you and he snatches up one of the dogs and she doesn't push back because it helps to have that other handler you know and uh so she walks onto the elevator and she's letting it close and they use like those like one of those cinematic like impacts where it's like boom and then they play like some country music like i ain't gonna leave you and then he walks into the elevator but it's really it looks so lame and there's plenty of moments like that where it's just really funny [ __ ] that is not dramatic i actually labeled it in my phone as the dramatic elevator so if you're this deep in on my thoughts i think you should watch the show it is a [ __ ] train wreck in the best way i mean from the get-go you can't believe how psycho this is not to mention that two of the couples drop out straight away because they propose right after each other which is awesome now they can share a [ __ ] anniversary i think i don't know i couldn't think of a bigger stain on your proposal than a couple proposing on a reality tv show and then your dude walks up right after that being number two definitely sucks you know you can make the argument that many people get proposed to every day so it's not special anyway you know what i mean but you get pros do once in your or maybe once in your life depending on yeah reject somebody i think these people will be proposed too many times okay i don't think like ever make it to the altar gotcha but yeah but the question will be popped yeah i think the question will be possible oh dude that's the great part about the editing too is these people are so batshit that you know hats off to the editors um how could they form a cohesive story out of any of these people because they would literally wake up and the people delivering the ultimatums are like i wanna i can marry you and then hours later their partner would be like uh you cheated on me last night and they're like yeah cause whatever as you go from episode to episode it doesn't seem like their emotions are ever in one place and that's because they're young you know they're straight up tadpoles they just crawled out of their mom's vagina and they're trying to figure it out so you know naturally they're they're just kind of like petulant and is that the word petulant like touching the child definitely it's a word i don't know what it means who cares but it's this in the morning then they feel like this in the afternoon and it makes it so chaotic that it's awesome now what i really want to talk about is the last 20 minutes or so of episode six and if you're if you will watch none of this show you should watch that 20 minutes because wow that is television gold i've never seen someone angrily twerk during an argument what it is so cool it's so cool that they got that moment because what a stupid moment to have you know because everyone's had a dumbass argument with their significant other and done some weird [ __ ] and to lose your cool so bad cause basically april the commander of the orgy which is another point i'll get to she finds videos in her dude's phone from the period where they weren't together and their videos of the girl he was with you know shaking her ass and so she gets mad and she's like why do you have videos in your phone of rachel doing this [Laughter] and he's just like like angry on the couch like it wasn't even like that and what a dumbass scene what a stupid scene to have it's so funny the orgy part of it is really interesting too nick and vanessa knew what they were doing you know they got eight young people and they put them all into a situation where they couldn't resist they all flicked around you know they didn't [ __ ] but they flipped around so this is a real orgy sorry alex thanks um it's an orgy in the sense that they all kind of swap and then when they swap everyone gets a little physical at some point they kiss they grab each other's dick you know it's well if they're not if all eight couples aren't [ __ ] on screen i'm not gonna watch okay yeah no no good good yeah that's what porn has done to you you can't see any normal situation no yeah yeah at all you're just watching bar rescue and you're like okay all right at some point okay he's gonna [ __ ] the manager okay yeah bet and then when they don't you get really upset tv's whack dude why aren't the bartenders [ __ ] behind the bar yeah exactly yeah it's an origin in the sense that they all kind of swap and then they definitely emotionally spit in each other's mouths you know so it's like it's like these people kiss and then they get all these feelings and they go back with that other person and then they end up in the same room with the person that they were just with and it you know everyone's noticing each other liking each other and and so it's not an orgy in the sense that they all are banging down but it's a and it's an emotional orgy it's just everyone's getting mixed up and it's getting weird and everyone's getting in each other's business and it makes it genuinely very interesting now there's probably some show that is just like this that they you know did in europe 15 years ago because europe is way ahead of us in the way of um [ __ ] around but um this is my first time exposed to it here in the states and i think it was a genius show format i think the craziest highlight of it all now we didn't see the whole thing but that's fine because the point is for us to make assumptions about these people and hate them that is what the show is meant to do which i think is great i think it's really cool that reality tv takes regular people who have no idea what they're getting into and then six weeks later they become a national villain you know i think the audience base or the user base on netflix is 235 million people so you have the potential to be like viscerally uh attacked on the internet by up to 235 million people and you might deserve it because you might be an [ __ ] but it's a it's a crazy thing it's just a really crazy thing you know the craziest thing for me was this dude colby you know he had some pretty you know interesting points of logic the funniest one was when you know he told madeleine um well i hooked up with two random girls from the bar during the not seeing each other phase uh because i was doing it for you well you know his logic was like she was embracing this other dude so he should embrace someone else as many women at the bar as possible no no no you should just embrace the experience that's what they all kept saying the experience it was like a cult he wasn't really into the girl april so he went and in his words got it from somewhere else to make sure he was embracing the experience i sort of understood where he was coming from but the part where he said like i did it for you just sounded hilarious i mean that's i think that's really really the highlight or a high point of the show if i had to pick three things from the show it's the quotes they got i mean such ridiculous sentences coming out of these people's mouths it's it's great i'm sure a bunch of you know uh dudes podcasts are really digging into the psychology of the women on this show and you know going on about how the men were right in these situations and because it was women whatever i don't care um i think the real takeaway from this is that people get into shitty relationships that's normal that is part of dating right that's part of getting older so i think this is actually the most guilt-free this is arguably more guilt-free than a pair of nikes you know like people were gonna do this anyway so why not expose some weird facets of their relationship some blind spots and help them move on and just turn them into a villain in the process uh because you know hey you could be a villain but you still sell merch you know trump sold a ton of merch that guy made a shitload of money so uh he's doing okay so all in all i think the show is 10 out of 10. uh if you are let's say in your early 20s and you're mormon and you want to get out of it or maybe you don't want to get married at 22 i think this show is the perfect way to get out i think it is a it's a great way if you're if you're afraid to break up with your person and hurt their feelings get in a scenario where there's a bunch of producers that are telling you to do it and then when you hook up with some girl at the bar you can tell your lady it was for her i did it for you to embrace the experience so yeah um those are my thoughts on the show obviously it kind of assumes that you've watched it and if you didn't some of this sounds like um i don't know [ __ ] so you probably haven't made it this far so uh but if you did go watch it then re-watch this that helps me out all right everyone uh we'll see you later this is my next big dang she precious i'm bad and the walls is bestest yeah yeah [ __ ] you guessed it t-u-o-t on my necklace sparked and made like 10 beats now i know the boy getting restless jab my way through the session doing too much coming clutch that's my essence

Channel: Noel Miller

Views: 821,874

Keywords: noel miller, tiny meat gang, cody ko, tmg, love island, steamy tweets, suki, fortnite, games, cody and noel, uncle noel, thats cringe, thenoelmiller, noelle miller, comedy, satire, vine, rap, sketch comedy, roast, stand up

Id: m-dHGL2p4IU

Length: 18min 43sec (1123 seconds)

Published: Fri Apr 22 2022

Reddit Comments

[u/ell3ye]

it's so bad that it's good lol