Teachers, what is the stupidest answer given on an exam?

like and subscribe right now or else this will be in your bed tonight our /oscar edit by planet reddit teaches on reddit what is the most stupid answer someone has ever given on an exam just the other day the question asked the learners to explain the myth in the passage answer a myth is a female moth and I just sort of looked at this answer for a while before realizing the extent of stupid answers hey myth do you mind if I sit here semicolon Mike Tyson more thread didn't answer but fluttered her wings mysteriously Mithra I am in a one-to-one school every student is issued an iPad so I use a digital quiz that my students can type on I can't remember what the question was but I remember the students answer it was a pizza emoji actually this is pretty smart since some databases not prepared to store allergies it could have been stored as a corrupted text and tell the professor that he answered correctly no it was from an e L student who just didn't understand the question it was basically his version of a shrubbery that was the point when I realized that perhaps he didn't understand quite as much English as he let on no he was an IT genius and he cracked the code on which emoji would corrupt the data file for the quiz it was the eggplant emoji but his finger slipped and you got pizza instead College English professor here though the dumbest exam answer I ever saw came from one of my fellow TAS in a huge lecture hall film class back when I was still a grad student for some unfathomable reason one of his students decided to answer the written final exam in the form of a poem that didn't begin to answer any of the exam questions nor did it reference any of the movies we watched in class which you had to pick from for the answers but instead just threw in references to whatever random movies he could work into his rhyme scheme and even setting all that aside this student still had zero talent for poetry I don't know what the hell he was thinking but my friend decided to generously give the students a 20% for bothering to show up and at least write something down I think the guy knew he was going to fail or that he knew nothing on the topic so he decided that duck it I'll write a poem maybe I'll get a mark or two beats an empty sheet I guess and it did so what if what if one of the movies was The Hitchhiker's Guide to the galaxy and he was paying an homage to Vogon poetry serious face with monocle edit volgen corrected you Vogon not an answer but they raised their hand to ask a question the hand with all the answers written on it why would he ask a question if he had all the answers maybe to avoid looking suspicious well he really nailed that one maths teacher here the worst I've ever had was from a 16 year old who was asked to draw a pie chart in good commlink this is my favorite I can't make sense of that thought process he saw the first part was a right angle facing upwards so therefore the rest must also be right angles facing upwards I think I had an aneurysm trying to understand how the bicycle is pointing directly up like the others my dad once told me about one of his students complaining she missed a point because the topic of the question wasn't covered in class the question can you get pregnant from the handshake he was teaching freshman med students that sounds like one of those two simple to be easy questions that has a hidden answer like maybe it's possible to get pregnant from a handshake and specific very ridiculous circumstances it depends on the location of the handshake number not really unless the hand has sperm on it the female is upside down on the hand just kinda sits in the vagina letting the sperm slowly drip into the vagina one of my teachers said that as they were marking year 12 final someone responded to an essay question with I don't know but here's a picture of a bird and then drew a really beautiful bird former teacher here this is actually a decent strategy I had to use a particular grading rubric under that rubric this answer would get a mess or 51% a blank answer would get 0% stupid yes but those were the rules so draw your birds people you just never know so draw your birds people this is too funny as in my language slow back the word bird is also used in a meaning dog so that sentence can be in Slovak interpreted as so draw your dongs people draw vaginas too don't want to discriminate my mum was a teacher she was doing a jog Rafi quiz with year seven stroke eights six stroke seventh grade one of the questions was what was the biggest island until Australia was discovered one kid answered trick question Australia isn't real edit this was a while ago before Australia was classified as a continent I hope you all know sea ha Australia isn't real Kevin we live in Australia existential crisis ensues not a teacher one time I didn't study at all for a test I left almost all the answers blank the very last question was the only one I got marks for the question was what is the haiku please define and provide an example my haiku was I have failed this test I should have studied harder I hate myself man my teacher wrote it ashore and I got full marks I studied for the rest of the tests a tiara haikus are the most overhyped thing in literature to me I remember when I first learned about them I was like this is it this is the ducking amazing [ __ ] you said our next lesson would be it didn't translate to English well as a form of poem it makes so much more sense in Japanese I've had several pleading answers saying they haven't got a clue but please can I give them some marks my husband once wrote an apology and his religious education essay he said he knew he wasn't going to pass and he was sorry the examiner had to read his paper no he did not pass no wonder he didn't pass the prof wanted an apologia pretty different thing despite the name I had those along with the paragraph essay on how their pre-med and can't fail this course perhaps studying next time yes my friend sister once wrote birth control makes women smell bad so men won't have sex with her in her biology exam took a world religions class in high school got a test question what is the term for hostility and discrimination against Judaism responses anticipate ism of course the teacher in a tired voice said someone answered Christianity I mean from a historical perspective he's not wrong hilarious yo from a biblical perspective the Jews hated the Christians well then you are lost I can provide something stupid I did myself multiple times me and my friends had this meme I guess where the answer to every question we didn't know would either be 642 or Jesus one day we had a science exam which I didn't do anything for so I said screw it and answered all questions with one of these three answers fun thing is that for one question I filled in 42 and it was actually within the margin of error answer was 43 so I got one point for that but bumping my total grade from a one to one point one I can understand Jesus and 42 but what about six I honestly don't remember where it came from originally it just became a meme in our friend group we used to call those and side jokes who is considered America's founding father George W Bush well George's right so one stroke three marks George W is also technically right but without his fill last name can we give this man to stroke three marks I feel like Bush is pretty close being a president and should be worth a half point five stroke six marks I'm not a teacher but I know someone who spelled their own name wrong on an exam I remember being so nervous for an exam once that I forgot what year it was and which grade I was in nerves can mess you up yep first time traveling overseas I filled out the customs form and was pulled aside by the customs guy and questioned why I wrote Caucasian and the nationality box I honestly didn't my brain was just shut down after the 14 hours in the air lol you time-traveled overseas Row two when I was teaching AP environmental science I had a kid in the class who really shouldn't happy but it was the only science that fit into his schedule and our counselors were morons the test was about water management and the question itself was about wastewater treatment something like identified two materials which would be removed from wastewater by primary treatment the kid who was an 11th grader said deepers and dudu we assumed he meant diapers and fesses I really hope so anyway upvote for counselors are morons comment it is amazing how much they can wreck kids lives if they don't do their jobs edited because typing is hard I had a counselor who had me sign up for statistics the next semester she told me she had recommended the wrong statistics class and I had to take the other one the semester after that she asked me why I took a second statistics class when the first one satisfied my requirements she didn't wreck my life obviously but that was damn annoying obligatory not a teacher but before I had my history teacher who liked to put funny answers on tests that were clearly wrong but she had put up on a hasip EEMA Petelin among historical babylonian figures on a test and people actually pick the answer you near ala kulli studying is important folks edit looking back it may not have been Babylonian but may have related to the Huns or Mongols can't remember fully but it was something within that fate I took an astronomy class if I remember the question was what is dark matter one of the answers was something like the matter that helps produce the dark side of the force I'm sure someone picked that answer if I was confident in the rest of my arms as I will depict that also who needs the kwik-e-mart these people do not a teacher but in the final exam at school one particularly lazy kid wrote his name on the front so it would count then proceeded to fall asleep on and drool all over his exam I want to know what happened to the kids test asking for a friend well I don't know about that but in season 1 episode 3 of Boy Meets World Allen lets Corey stay up late to watch a baseball game and he fell asleep on the test one memorable part of dialogue went like this mr. Feeny the test is done mr. Matthews Cory how'd I do mr. Feeny looks like an egg Cory I got an a mr. Feeny no it was the only answer you put down before you slipped into your coma Cory so what did I get mr. Feeny well you answered one question out of 40 and you got it wrong what grades do you think I'm going to give you Cory can it be found at the beginning of the word Fujita mr. Feeny see send your anyway Alan and mr. Feeny argued about a makeup test with Feeny deciding not to grant one in the end both understood each other's perspective and Alan no longer woke his kid up for baseball so he'd be ready for school and Feeny granted the makeup test remembering the hurt of his own dad never doing anything with him as a kid the moral for Cory was that sometimes there's no right answer in life there's going to be a moral gray area this specific knowledge of BMW makes me want to be your best friend also not a teacher but in seventh grade I took a grammar test it was ten questions three points apiece I missed every question and forgot to put my name on the test I was given a three-stroke 30 I mean I wouldn't put my name on work like that either academically dumb but in the real world being self-aware can be important be which planet in our solar system contains the highest concentration of toxic gas Uranus alright I giggled what do toilet paper in the Starship Enterprise have in common they both circle around Uranus looking for Klingons out of curiosity is the factual answer Venus I teach English as a foreign language in China learning about professions model answer Q what do you want to be a I want to be a students answer I want to be a potato edit as people seem to be enjoying this in the same spoken test another student mispronounced vet I want to be a pet we all dream of different things do you mock the aspirations to tuber hood not a teacher but when I was in primary school I was so lazy during a maths test that I didn't recheck my finished scripts despite having 10 minutes to go and the teachers constant reminders turns out I had accidentally flipped two pages of the exam script together and left the middle two pages completely blank guess there's a reason why practically every big exam I ever took started with a reminder to check that we had the correct amount of pages in our test I remember my friend doing that on finals he somehow still passed it though it was supposed to be a lengthy subjective answer on a particular concept and instead the student starts with a line of concept answers a story based on a movie and ends with adding another conceptual line in the end I think this is a common trick make the first and last lines relevant and fill the middle with garbage assuming nobody will read it imagine reading 50-100 essays per class on a weekly basis a lot of skimming involved I once snuck in a recipe for chocolate cake to see if a teacher was even reading the papers he did not notice I got an A we had journal writing in my school and I did set random lines like Sherlock Holmes was a great detective who could solve anything Sherlock Holmes Sherlock Holmes the great detective or anything else similar the teacher never noticed I got away with converting over half a page sometimes into random Sherlock Holmes talk I have no clue why I was using Sherlock Holmes was the first thing I thought of and just stuck I guess obligatory not a teacher but in a and P school aircraft mechanic school there was the question on a test how do you measure cable tension regarding flight control cables from the cockpit to control surfaces one student put down ammeter WTF electrical conductivity in a wire does depend on tension so in principle you could measure cable tension by hooking up a known voltage to the cable relaxed and then seeing how the current changes when it's put under tension presumably that's not how it's actually done I certainly wouldn't know but the idea isn't completely ridiculous the core technology of the multimeter is also used as a platform for other devices most famously thermometers go look up what a thermocouple is but there are a whole host of other plugins that exploit its ability to detect small changes in voltage and current - including yes tension gauges in India one of my friends put gay hammer e-mart 'hi mud co-could naginata hi basically cow is my mother I don't know [ __ ] you could scream this in the street and I'd swear you're about to use a stand to throw me into the Shadow Realm to collect the dragon balls technically not an answer but for the AP test and possibly many other standardized tests my classmate took advantage of the rule where the greater has to disregard anything the student crosses out with a single line after finishing his essay for the AP u.s. History exam he runs an elaborate story of a unicorn and it's essential role in the development of the US and crossed it out with a single line several years ago when I was taking a piece I wrote magnets how do they work at the top of every question on my electricity and magnetism physics test I did something like this for my AP psych exam except I wrote the entirety oval star by smash Smith and and crossed it out join our community discord link in description 1970s in my sister's science class one question was what is red tide another kids answer was it's the influx of Chinese Communists in Southeast Asia teacher gave him a minus 2 on that one for being a smartest X primary school teacher 511 for non UK people here signs lesson based on the water cycle towards the end of the lesson a student asked if this how kettles make clouds under their kitchen worktops obviously meant steam building up et Cie this is where I ducked up rather than dismissing the concept and focusing on only the water cycle I responded kind of yes before proceeding to explain the differences between that of the water cycle and that of house steam is produced and wine builds up under the cabinets it rises you see it when it cools e.t.c e.t.c whilst comparing and contrasting the two about two months later a science exam opening line all of Earth's clouds start out in kettles not a teacher but when grading a quiz we graded each other's on South Africa in world history the girl that I was grading said that Africa was a country in South America how are some people this stupid not a teacher but my dad was he taught French best translation ever from French to English as part of a longer text not just this sentence el marshal along to learn whether can make los Barbu she walked down the street with a bearded mattress we can only imagine the look on the poor kids face when they wrote that trying desperately to figure out what the hell was going on mattress mattress WTF but that's what it says metallus equals equals mate lot edit missed an apostrophe la la not allow long L not arrow on a phone halfway up a glass yeah I used to teach English to French kids one of them who was actually one of my best pupils a really smart in working girl wrote a story about a very scary castle in which there were bald smiles now guess what a bald smiled actually is and it's an animal not a teacher that I had to write an English test essay on our topic for the semester sadly though I forgot we had the test so I forgot all my notes so for an hour straight I just wrote I am a fish over and over again I somehow managed to convince my friend to write the same thing on her leftover papers so that I wouldn't be the only stupid one is your name Arnold Rimmer my geography teacher used to mark GCSE exam papers in the summer for a bit of extra money he told us the dumbest thing was a paper some girl had taken and had not done very well in he got to the last question a 12 mark essay and she's just written a list of all her friends and their current boyfriends clearly she realized she was going to fail anyway and didn't want to put the efforts in not a teacher that I used to cheat a high school kids this kid needed help with an upcoming English literature test so I spent two hours explaining Chaucer's Canterbury Tales to him then I started quizzing him I had a printout with mock questions and I started with the easiest one in The Canterbury Tales where are the pilgrims going answer to Santiago de Compostela he was dead serious too I believe this explains why I did not go into teaching I had a friend who was really smart in college he even did exercise courses in game theory and contract law and economics he had an exam where he didn't study that much but at the bottom he posted a picture of Gandalf with a text you shall not pass he was 100% sure he wouldn't pass but got a tail mayor I've seen both his assignment in the grade because I didn't believe him Mayor Jesus is always the answer I am pretty sure I fail that test a student write stuff like BTC or WH M on blanks on math test he's tenant can't read how he got a third-grade I don't know I've been calling attention to him in meetings for two months now and nothing maths teacher here one question had a graph with a bunch of points on it and students were asked to state the range of the graph except I teach in French and the word for range of image which is also a translation for the English word image student connected the dots in whatever way they wanted and the sketch they ended up with kinda looked like a snail so their answer to the range of the graph and ask ago not a teacher but my mother is once she came back from her lunch break to find two of her students taking pictures of the exam key she immediately rewrote the exam and gave them both zeroes later one of the students mother's calls and says she's suing because her daughter wouldn't be able to get into the university she wanted to if she bombed this test before you ask her I live in California not a teacher but I once write and tithe erics of let it go frozen in both English and my language it seems like not that stupid of it's not very important exam it was an exam that selects students to go to international competition I being almost 14 at the time got call out in front of entire hall in University the professor scolded me that I waste very important opportunities plus waste the budget of government and said that I was a reason that my country didn't develop lol said that I was a reason that my country didn't develop depending on your personality that's either a point of pride or a point of sharing Victor Frankenstein and Hamlet are both characters created by William Shakespeare happened 10 years ago I'm still shaking my head why is there a high fructose content in sperm cells to make it taste better not a teacher but a student our teacher used to Reedus dumb answers some of us wrote there was a picture of Boston and the question was which city of this the kid said France and to this day we bug him he also said the Nile is in our country we live in Eastern Europe humiliating students for their wrong answers in front of class is how you give them terrible anxiety and future exams duck teachers who do that what is dehydration synthesis well you know hot pockets it's not that I once had a student write the following on an essay everything I know about the Civil War came from the movie Abraham Lincoln vampire hunter I teach college not a teacher but my mom is and she had me grade her tests on occasion one time someone said that Thomas Paine wrote Uncle Tom's Cabin not a teacher but our teacher showed us it was a bio test and the question was about how the villa and the intestine worked and thus person answered with impulses are sent to the muscle to pump blood and I think about that every bio test science teacher here funniest answer Q name a good source of protein a platypus most stupid answer Q why do you hear thunder after you seen lighting because sound travels slower than noise not a teacher that a student tried to cheat in our stay sticks examined failed horribly in our exam we had two sets a and B the first test of both sets were multiple-choice the choices for set a were from 1 to 6 while the choices from set B were a to F guy probably had a picture of the test from a friend and didn't notice the sets because even though he got sent a his answers were after 20-plus years of teaching my favorite is hue which year did the American Revolution start a in France to this day I have no idea what went through the students mind because I never found it in me to ask for an explanation I was more like gph as link not a teacher what a surprise we were given a Creative Writing exam they stole a prompt in other words someone gives you words and you have to make a story with that in mind our prompt was the bridge one of my mates simply wrote down the bridge the end keep in mind this exam was a nationwide thing so it was pretty damn important not a teacher I was the student that gave a stupid answer on the true or false section of a midterm that I took in high school I wasn't sure about one of the questions so I wrote an F T hybrid that I had seen on iPhone II my teacher was abused and pointed out the cleverness of my attempt to trick him into giving me the points for that question and I thanked him then he asked me what the right answer was and I gave him the correct answer you see after turning in my test I looked in my notes to find out the answer to that question out of curiosity he accepted my answer and the explanation as to why I was correct and I aced the test edit tried to include a little diagram of the F T but it didn't show up the way I wanted it to maybe it's cause I'm on mobile so I'll try it below thanks for watching subscribe for 3 videos a day [Music]

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Id: 3BtoFsl5h0c

Length: 25min 59sec (1559 seconds)

Published: Thu Apr 23 2020