What "clicked" about a student after meeting his parents?

like and subscribe right now or else this will be in your bed tonight our /oscar edit by planet reddit teachers of reddit what clicked about a pupil after meeting their parents obligatory not a teacher boat I work at a psychiatric hospital for children and teens I work directly with the kids so I don't get to meet parents often we had a super sweet little girl on my unit once they said it was because she assaulted her little three-year-old sister but the whole thing just didn't make sense I can read kids well and usually the ones that are violent and dangerous to family have a certain attitude she just didn't she was meek respectful and just overall the easiest patient I'd ever had when visitation came her parents showed up and it all started to make sense they would just berate her for everything here is this little nine-year-old girl and her mom is telling her she's knocked up why can't she be normal et Cie et cetera and this kid just took it not for long though because I am allowed to remove the child at my discretion if I think it will make it worse for her and so I did and promptly called CPS it turns out that all the abuse she was doing to her sister was just the mother abusing both for them and then blaming it on the little girl you will be happy to know that she was moved in with her grandparents in a different state and is thriving and happy edit thank you for the gold y'all that ending made me happy duck that girl's mother though edit guys pls stop making the same joke also kudos to CPS for stepping in like that my friend was abused by her parents and when she fractured her arm CPS was cooled by the school they told the parents not to leave visible marks then never came back it was pretty duct up what the hell Child Protective Services gave the parents advice for not getting caught abusing their children that makes me so angry I noticed quite a few negative stories here well here is a positive one where it clicked I have a student who is really friendly really smart and amazing at English I am an ESL teacher abroad she is always really friendly to me and always really hard-working she constantly helps other kids in class who struggle with the material and overall just a great girl I met her dad once at a school event and holy goodness was this guy awesome he was a really genuine and generous character and even invited me to get to know different cops of the city with his family I could definitely tell they had a close bond and that he had raised her really well just an example of good people raising other good people edit a word I've had a few like that one kid sweetest kid alive he was like what you imagine an actual fourth grader to be like he was pretty much like a curious puppy flipside he had a solid 13 percent in the class he just couldn't figure out how to put two numbers together I actually cried when he learned to cross multiply and see the wheels turn in his head thing is compared to a lot of kids he had lots of reasons to act out and be violent and could be a jokester with friends he could lash out but never did compared to other classmates met his parents little salt-of-the-earth types dad was elder and kinda had that old spun country wisdom to him told me that they've been trying hard with him but he just seems to not click right like real eight hours a day with him and nothing coming right what I also noticed is that they were patient as all living hell and so was he I wish we had on behavioral special ed because he needed it bad still got him to cross multiply these are the kind of people that we should be investing in as much as possible because they are probably more likely to use their success in life compassionately oh for sure I got him to talk about dogs once and he just opened up like mad it was adorable and I knew that if he could just get something working he would do something good with his life which coming out of where he lived would be a huge success my fifth grade teacher said she understood why at times I couldn't finish my homework or fall asleep in class after seeing my mother had cancer I'm sure before that she thought I was lazy she became super close with my mom after in the day my mom passed away still in fifth grade she cried in class when they message her and that's how I knew it was over I personally believe teachers to make a huge impact in a child's life and she really helped me out and understood I'm very thankful that you had her as a teacher during that time I can't even begin to fathom the pain you went through then I'm so thankful for these stories of teacher who actually care I know it's been a while but I'm sorry for your loss he's actually in sixth grade now it's not been that long yet I love hearing about teachers who actually care about how their students are doing I have had a few teachers who always assume all kids are a holes and they don't care if we fail or not those classes are the ones I did the worst in I feel it's really important to make the kid feel like they matter they will probably enjoy coming to your class and want to succeed I want to be a teacher in the future and this is a value I will carry to my classroom this is from back when I was doing my student teaching there was a girl in one of my classes that never did any work in class turned in her homework late and would ignore huge projects until literally the last minute and then ask to come and for help every day at lunch after school to make up for the missing work eventually I caught her cheating on a quiz she had written down the answers put them in the plastic cover of her binder and put a binder down by her feet I took her quiz gave her a zero and told her that cheating wasn't allowed about a week later we had parent-teacher conferences the girl came with her mother who took out every assignment that had been graded and handed back and proceeded to argue with me over individual points things along the lines of well she spelled it all right so that deserves some credit right all she circled the right answer so she should still get some credit when that's right answer had been crossed off and then another answer had been selected this took nearly an hour to go through finally the mother brought up the quiz and I told her about the cheating the mom said well you should give her some credit on it she was pretty clever to think of that trick from the norm I made sure to schedule meetings with myself my mentor teacher and the principal present Jesus that mum think that it's smart to cheat everything in life to cheaters never prosper is bullshit bad cheaters never prosper good cheaters prosper all the ducking time there is probably nothing else that would allow someone to succeed in life more than a willingness to break the rules when there is low risk and high reward for doing so lying on your resume that you have a PhD from MIT when you never even went to MIT much less got a PhD will get your ass court lying on your resume by exaggerating your accomplishments but as Leon things that can't realistically be checked will get you a better job obviously it's not like serious life stuff but I've always found this sort of said something about people I would make food deliveries to a water park and we'd go through back gates and such to enter often when we'd come through the gate there would be families trying to use the employee entrances to get to their car I know it wasn't a big deal because they were leaving not breaking in but it just irks me partly because I know my family is the same way I know they know they're not supposed to do that but there's no risk involved so Ducky's right and as employees we just ignored the people because $9 HR is not enough to get cursed out by a drunk smelly overweight dude and his family this girl in prep already showed traits of a narcissist sociopath she was an extremely clever but lacked empathy manipulative blatantly lied stole and so on yes this might just sound like characteristics of any child but there was definitely something different about her anyway met her mum who refused to accept that her child would do anything wrong and when the child admitted she stole the girl's bracelet because she wanted it her mum said that's okay we can go buy you one on the way home does she want to raise a sociopath because that's how you raise a sociopath can you raise someone to become a sociopath is that possible genuinely asking there's no definitive genetic evidence yet so the nature versus nurture debate is still ongoing there are physical aspects and brain function and structure that are present in sociopaths but upbringing also has a large impact on socio 'kathy or sociopathic behavior yes now call them to social personality disorder I was telling the parent that their child was generally inattentive he would look around fidget and just not belong smiling when I knew her hadn't been listening as I was consulting my notes I looked up to see the parent looking around the room bouncing their leg as soon as they realized that I was done talking they nodded and smiled edit this child did not have ADHD or autism he just had a short attention span I was teaching in a private school in the Middle East and although most students should have been ASL they were taught English at a higher level I figure he just didn't care that much they say there is a genetic component to a DD 71 percent heritable to bring that into context height is 81 percent heritable mm-hmm smiling face college freshman was constantly late didn't turn work in on time or at all etc she had an excuse for every single thing I wasn't even asking she just volunteered excuses after getting a D in my class which was frankly a bit generous as her actual grade was a high F her mother called me I wasn't allowed to discuss a student's performance with anyone including their parents and I told her as much her mother then unprompted gave me a long string of excuses for her daughter and oddly herself I kind of thought all that makes sense now her mother called me and her kid is at college university level WTF it's more common than you think unfortunately I think college professors are the ones who pushed for that rule of not sharing grades and I don't blame them edit learned about FERPA sounds like a pretty solid piece of legislation it's not so much a rule as a federal privacy law join our community discord link in description kids named rowdy super-nice kindergartener why the hell his name was rowdy met his mom dad was Mia lived with Grandma in a hoarder house and they smoked inside with the window closed he graduated last spring saw him walking in the rain at 9:00 a.m. not sure where he was headed but all I could think was he was headed in the wrong direction , he was put on this earth to kick ass and chew bubblegum and he's all out of bubblegum that's so sad you know his circumstances are not set up to support him well to see someone who you think if I could just change something but you can't I know we all love a great underdog story where the kid with the world against him succeeds against all odds but that doesn't happen as often in real life people with these great success stories where they pulled themselves up by their bootstraps of a few percents that was able to it for one of those success stories there's probably hundreds more where the person didn't succeed I was that kid father worked shifts and when he was home he was doing backyard car repairs to help make ends meet not because he didn't earn a good living he actually did but because my mother was a gambling addict instead of addressing the problem he focused on solving the symptoms I went to school from an unheated house with a mother still in bed and no breakfast in freezing weather with no coat because she spent the money on gambling went for years without medical treatments for the same reason no toothpaste no hair conditioner no haircuts old shoes socks and underwear with holes all because anything she could make us do without went a gambling pay was done in the frigid school gym in bare feet and a church because gym shoes and sweatshirts cost money that could be used to make bets instead one day the vice-principal called me to her office not to reprimand me but to give me the optional pieces of uniform I didn't have like a coat and a school blazer they were the options without which you froze half to death as you walked or biked several miles to school she didn't make a big deal out of it she simply met Annie her act of kindness lit a spark in me to this day almost 40 years later I still put money time and hard work into caring for others and charity work I'm the man who will volunteer at school quietly contribute anything the teachers are short of that person not for recognition or thanks in fact I am embarrassed if you do that it's because nearly 40 years ago someone cared so sorry you went through what you did kudos for turning it into compassion and paying it forward to those in need Iraq well you are sweet thank you so much for taking the time to write out my intent was actually to encourage the teachers and other childcare workers out there keep doing what you're doing even when it seems hopeless that act of the VP that day took less than 30 minutes yes close to 40 years later it still brings tears to my eyes you never know which little act of kindness will spark a lifelong passion in one of those kids just because someone cared kids like I was are not just physically starving in fact that's not even the worst part the worst part is their intense hunger for a glimpse of kindness or affection imagine if you were never hugged smile that or even talk to nicely the effect even a gentle smile or compliment can have on the starving heart of a kid who's completely bereft of simple positive human interactions can be very powerful not a teacher but a student in kindergarten we had this kid who was really odd and smelled funny but he seemed cool so we would hang out at recess I had a birthday party and it was only supposed to last maybe a few hours all of the kids but him went home fairly early but it was really late and his parents still hadn't showed up I was getting tired and wanted to go to bed so my parents set up some blankets for us in the living room and we had a sleepover at 2:00 a.m. his parents finally show up after multiple calls with no answer instantly I realized what was up even as a small child I knew these parents were the definition of white trash they wreaked off alcohol my mom's side of the family is full of alcoholics so I knew what it smelled like they also told some bullshit story about how they had new tires of their car and the speedometer showed the wrong speed and they got pulled over on some other bullshit it all clicked why he acted so odd and why he smelled it was cigarette smoke at the start of first grade he never showed up and the like a month into the year he was there for a few days then randomly in third grade he showed back up again for a few weeks I never saw him again after that I looked him up on Facebook awhile back and it looks like he is following in his parents footsteps up falling into every white-trash stereotype I asked my parents about this kid awhile ago and they said that the reason he wasn't with us in school for a few years is that he got taken away by Child Protective Services which my mom called then he came back the W times because that's where his parents got him back but he was taken away again and that's why he left us I knew a girl in school I wish I'd be more clever or perceptive or something she was constantly filthy absolutely wreaked literally the filthiest human being I have ever met one day multiple teachers made her take a shower I was walking to get something I forgot in my gym locker this poor girl was screeching like a banshee the teachers were apologizing over and over but they'd been ordered to give her a shower it was a health issue they were pretty taken aback by her reaction I'll never forget that sound I spoke to her a few times she was like a dictionary if you asked her a word she would rattle off dictionary information spelling now verb adjective definition use it in a sentence and could provide synonyms and antonyms one day I saw her walking home from school and her dad meeting her halfway he just oozed creeped on us something about the way he put his arm around her many years later I was talking to an older woman who had just escaped her abusive parents who were in a Satanist cult she started describing her life they're abuse she suffered the issues she faced and some other things it hit me that these matched exactly with the girl I knew in school mainly there had made her terrify to be anywhere near water so she would never get baptized I remembered that tall girl screams as the teachers tried to wash her maybe she wasn't exactly in a cult but I remember her being very confused about religions I don't know I think about that girl a lot I remember her first name and that's it deleted 0.3 to 0-4 what is this yep she was clearly abused as another kid I just didn't notice I thought she was a weird stinky kid nice and smart and really withdrawn obviously an extreme example here but I had a student an eighth grader who was quiet to the point of absolute silence but who did extraordinarily well with the written word a few times he showed up with bruises which I naturally reported but he was adamant that they were from other students surprisingly his parents came in for PTC and seemed relatively normal until he went to speak for himself and I saw his father grip his arm so tightly that it left a mark I understood immediately that his parents basically didn't let him speak at all for fear of reprisal a few weeks afterward the kid stopped showing up to school and word eventually got around that he got caught up in a meth lab explosion in his parents house and was covered head-to-toe him second and third-degree burns he came back a month or so later covered in bandages he couldn't move right or really do anything without excruciating pain I'd never cried so hard as I did that day sorry I know it got off track that there are certain stories that stick with you oh geez any idea how he's now unfortunately no idea I've since moved on and haven't been in contact didn't actually meet the parents but was recently told about the parents of a ninth grader I have a pair the dad is super verbally abusive constantly belittling the Sun like bordering on reportable abuse but just not quite over that line his former teachers said this kid acts out is constantly seeking positive attention has no self-esteem despite being pretty smart and capable it all just makes a lot of sense now edit for all the people who are saying that I should report it I have not personally witnessed the abuse nor have I even met the parents in question so it wouldn't be appropriate for me to report it anyway in fact in my state there are penalties if I were to do so but moreover I trust my colleagues who have taught him and have witnessed the negative interactions with the dad and I believe that they have the requisite experience and judgments to have been able to make the determination not to report the father edit - thank you all for your concern though and I'm very sorry for those who have gone through something like this I'm the kid when I was growing up I'd get pulled aside and asked if I smoked I'm talking elementary school my parents much like someone else had mentioned smoked in the house with the windows closed I was heavy really heavy with a lot of confidence issues that still stick around today I had problems with anger growing up not so much now but I was an excellent student when you could inspire me to focus or found something I was passionate about they'd meet my parents and not to me my dad who would work swing and overtime every day almost to support my mom's two three pack a day habit at a time now it's only one pack supposedly my mom who basically looked strung out on drugs but was really just taking so many antipsychotics and pain meds that she might as well have been my parents tried to be supportive of me but I'm not sure they really knew how I'd keep a bottle of February's on me starting in middle school because the questioning from teachers got worse I'm graduating college in June even though it's taken me twice as long as it should have mostly because of money of guidance and my own mental BS I got a job working in student government for the first time ever and was sent to a conference in Washington DC by my college last year I worked my first non minimum-wage job this summer and got invited to come back with another race edit holy moley r.i.p my Inbox and thank you to the lovely stranger with gifting my first gold thank you so so much for all of the lovely comments I'm trying not to cry on the train to my vacation it means the world to me I'm graduating college in June even though it's taken me twice as long as it should have mostly because of money the lack of guidance and my own mental BS it doesn't matter that your graduation took twice as long as it should have what matters is you took it in your own hands in spite of your own demons you had the courage to say I got this and to start making shit happened that is a revolutionary attitude I am truly glad to hear you've done well in spite of everything life threw at you and that you found the resilience the grit to roll up your sleeves and fix other people's mistakes I hope you shoot for the stars and that you're not afraid to fail remember that even stars fall sometimes and when they do people wish on them edit well this kind of blew up I'm truly amazed I could have a positive impact on some of you and maybe keep the darkness at bay a little bit also to the mysterious redditor who gave me gold thank you very much I greatly appreciate it thanks for watching subscribe for three videos a day

Channel: Ask Planet

Views: 1,104,709

Rating: 4.9411993 out of 5

Keywords: ask reddit, reddit top posts, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit cringe, reddit, updoot reddit, best reddit posts, funny reddit, reddit story, askreddit funny, reddit funny, askreddit, tz reddit, r/askreddit, reddit best, reddit compilation, askreddit top posts, askreddit stories, funny reddit stories, funny askreddit, askreddit stupid, reddit on tap, Teachers of Reddit, what clicked about a pupil after meeting their parents?, bad parents, students

Id: qf8DOZ99_Xc

Length: 22min 29sec (1349 seconds)

Published: Sat Apr 11 2020