Brutally Murdering My Family In Minecraft

today i'm playing with a mod pack called minecraft comes alive it adds a lot of cool stuff to the game you can see it all right here got a bunch of different wedding rings baby boy and baby girl why are these items i can just put these in my inventory okay oh no the game won't let me throw a baby girl okay so i can't throw children what if i put them into something that will throw them for me okay so this is the baby burner god damn it we're a minute into the video and this is where i am come on please work okay the lava needs to be further this way okay enough fooling around i'm gonna start actually playing now create new world gonna name it domestic abuse because that's pretty much what's gonna happen in this video and we're in that's a lot of cows in one spot i think we need to do something about this okay now that the area has been sanitized i can begin my work here i think the most important thing to get is a wedding ring because i want to start a family so that i can kill them before i start with that i would probably be wise to actually find the village first so i'ma go do that right after i do just just a little bit more murder that didn't quite fill my quota i wanted you to fall into the lava so bad and you didn't that annoys me hey you you yeah get over here come on come on don't worry about it i'm your friend this is what friends do for each other okay off to a cheerful start the game just keeps throwing animals at me like am i not supposed to kill them how are you not concerned this close to the lava the heat must be searing your skin and you just seem fine with it you have a death wish if you have a death wish then i don't want to kill you because then you'll be getting your way i'll leave this one be he seems to already be suicidal i got a little carried away there i apologize i tend to get sidetracked when i make these videos so i've prepared myself a to-do list number one murder my wife and kids number two attempt to marry my own child number three make my children get married to to each other number four have an affair number five have an entire second family kept secret from my first family and number six attempt to have a child with a man please don't take that clip out of context i beg of you gonna see how many of those are possible an alarming amount of the items on that list involve incest let's find a village shall we can't abuse a family without a family am i right lovely okay hold on um i was gonna go to the village but i just spotted an innocent bunny rabbit so i'll have to postpone that why are they so good at running there we go oh another one don't be scared i just want to play with you are you sand colored that makes things much more difficult yeah creeper yes that actually worked okay i'm gonna go mess with the villagers now ow what hey hey hey this is just uncalled for what did i do to you huh well that's just kind of a rude introduction you know i might have been nice to the village but now i think i'm gonna have to i mean okay i wasn't gonna be nice to them this would be a much scarier fight if you could look up to hit me but you seem incapable of that well village i'm here to announce i've ridden you of an outlaw yep praise me it seems you have a cow infestation whatever could be done about that all right ava are you gonna be nice to me your house doesn't have it doesn't have steps ava how do you get in and out of this i know you can't jump that have you just been stuck here your whole life here i'll help you out look now you can leave the house isn't that nice you're not gonna kill me right yeah she seems like a nice girl how do i interact with you you're supposed to be able to click on them and have things happen i think this one's a dud you good you know what ava you're gonna go to sleep now good night ava sweet dreams i'm realizing now that they probably didn't code the villagers to be able to drown to death which honestly oh never mind okay moving on are you nice you don't look nice why are you all villagers what the [ __ ] i just want to marry someone so i can murder our children is that too much to ask for i think this might actually just be an entire village of bandits how rude of them to already be pillaged when i get here i was gonna do that do i really have to find a whole another village now that's kind of annoying gotta take my anger out on this innocent rabbit where are you going why do you fear me look i'm smiling i'm i'm not menacing at all ooh a desert temple now if i'm being honest i don't give two shits about the loot in here the one thing i'm interested in though is the booby trap cause it's made out of tnt and when you combine a minecraft mod that lets you have children with explosives fun things will happen so i'm gonna go grab this it's even worth looking in the chests iron bone string and sand that's like what you get in your stocking from santa if you're not good no see that wasn't funny rotten flesh spider eyes and gun powder mmm okay we found another one i'm gonna cut out the bits that are me looking for the village because nobody cares is that hitler that looks like hitler yeah that really resembles him like uncannily he's got the aryan blue eyes i think i'm gonna stay away from you i'm gonna go flirt with hitler actually now that i think about it flirt that was so adorable you had me at hello or poland hitler is it too early to kiss oh no he's into it kiss oh that's kind of brutal man i i don't appreciate that if i'm being honest you know what here follow me yeah yeah let's uh let's go for a little walk look at these fine meadows hitler yep come on further into the distance where none of your villager friends can see us for no reason in particular this dark cave looks cool you you want to come with me in there so i heard a art school didn't work out for you nothing weird about this you're stuck really is the zombie gonna attack him oh well this is just poetic justice all right buddy i'm making you a cake here just come stand on the cake all right one final kiss william thank you yeah you should no don't follow me go back you're gonna ruin enough you couldn't have just died in the explosion like i wanted what's wrong with you man you're messing up all my plans here okay i've had enough fun i'm so upset that that didn't kill him hey everyone russell you got a nice beard on you give me a kiss that was rather fast um i actually i wasn't ready for that level of commitment so i'm gonna need you to come with me i'm gonna have to find a new village if i keep just killing them but it's so funny look he just he follows me where why do you trust me you know nothing about me i look like a ghost and i just appeared in your village i would kill for flint and steel right now i'll just have to do it the old-fashioned way okay i need to find a female pretty sure those are the ones you can have kids with you look like a girl between the two of them what was that i think i will choose gloria as she more closely resembles my girlfriend and that way i feel less bad for what i'm about to do although i am going to be killing her so maybe lina would be the better choice i suppose i could just have both of them right here lilac give me a kiss wow okay who the [ __ ] is ash nope nope nope you two stay right here ash we have an issue man have you seen ash where the hell is ash we have unsettled business okay i can't find him but rest assured if i do i'll have a very special death in store for him you're the exact same girl as before but with a different name i'm beginning to think we live in a simulation they're both just shaming me okay gloria you're nice thank you all right follow me i'm gonna make you my wife real quick this is how courtship works no i didn't mean to attack your friend i'm gonna leave now oh good you're still loyal to me even though i just hit your friend in the head with an axe all right gloria follow me into this cave there's nothing more romantic than going spelunking on a first date come on don't be shy you gotta move there's a zombie oh you [ __ ] idiot i hope i don't hit you but if i do it's your fault okay you got lucky say loria do you like dark rooms with no furniture because i hope you do come over here it's like herding cattle there we go this is your new home i hope you like it i'm lying i don't really care and i'm just gonna keep kissing you until you fall in love with me i'm pretty sure that's how it works the heart okay so yeah that's not good look i'm not gonna lie i don't know [ __ ] about this modpack i downloaded it five minutes before starting recording but i'm not dumb and i'm guessing that hearts we want it to be like a positive number that's that's not a positive number so i'm doing something wrong here gift uh you want me on some rotten flesh that helped watch sure trust the process i guess okay one heart there we go would you like another gift how's another piece i know you love rotten flesh okay uh golden apple that must be worth something she just took my golden apple and didn't do [ __ ] with it you want coal what's your deal why do you like cold but not my golden [ __ ] apple are you a leather girl i don't know what's happening here i could really use a torch i would build one but i gave you all of my coal greedy [ __ ] ready this is gonna oh be crazy good hey how are you we're a nine heart our relationship is so good okay i am just going to shove coal into your face until you love me i accidentally pressed joke and apparently i offended her and lost five hearts i i don't like this mod yes yes yes just spam the [ __ ] out of it oh my god oh 124 i'm in love that easy i think that means we can get married yeah okay wait can i just like beat the [ __ ] out of her now and it won't affect anything because she already loves me oh that's that's amazing i'm never gonna push that move freely button i can promise you that she likes me now just keep kissing who is this ash guy okay i need to marry her how do you marry someone i think i need a gold ring jesus christ this is probably one of the strangest inventories i've ever had are you gonna chill or are you gonna be a little [ __ ] boy you need me to come over there and slap you with my axe okay you're gonna chill thank you no jesus christ that was planned i knew that i would survive that fall that was 19 blocks everybody knows 19 bucks does seven and a half hearts and since i was at eight hearts of course i was going to survive hey honey how uh how you how you doing these days crazy weather nowadays yeah you agree catch that game last night what am i doing what is this career i'm miming a fake conversation with a minecraft girlfriend i love you so much listen want to get married or something that would be crazy come on let's speed this up places to be in people to murder oh hey babe love you so much how how do i how do i do that i'm guessing i give it to her as a gift yay okay now we're married oh how do the babies happen procreate that's a nice term for it yes okay that works name the b oh god i can't think of anything original so i'm just gonna name it pie you wanna have another one we already have a baby you didn't lose it did you no but if i'm being honest i do kind of plan on that what do i do with this thing it's just an item can craft with it what the f why doesn't face look like that it's like put me out of my misery jesus christ looks like a bean can i just leave it wait wait wait i i didn't mean to okay so you see what happened there is i put the baby into my crafting table and then i closed my inventory with no open slots the baby has now disappeared into the void listen honey baby so about that kid we had like a minute ago no you see now i actually did lose it uh yeah that is what happened i hope we can still be friends though i do still have the wedding ring and i'm not sure how long the cooldown is on having another baby but something tells me that the stone axe is probably more efficient than that sorry i know it was eternal love and whatnot but yeah you know feelings die still have my wedding ring thankfully wasted a lot of coal on that girl hello what is up village just mirrored as the population here seem to be dwindling hello lina you're pretty you want to be my wife do you like leather lina i love leather let me tell you here's what we're gonna do i'm gonna give you all of my leather do you love me no not quite okay what else is there a gold ingot that's probably good yes take it you're such a good friend that isn't the first time this has happened to me come with me lina i'm such a good friend to you am i is that what i am all right we're gonna run a little test here i'm gonna give you the spider eye as a gift if you appreciate it you can live if you don't you'll figure out what happens you made me do this you know what no i'm not gonna use the axe i'm using a stick you don't deserve a quick death don't mind me hey hey hey whoa don't get feisty now this might actually be an issue i decided to pick a fight with the archer and the hero of the village and now it's raining can i take you oh no no i actually have a lot of stuff on me and i don't know where i am don't kill me please no why can you teleport this is not fair okay i know you can't look up so there we go i'm safe can i still make you my wife she still likes me even though she's trying to kill me and i kiss you okay you see i'm getting mixed signals here first you friend zone me then you try to kill me and now i kiss you and you're saying you wish it would last forever i don't like you you should really mind your own business i mean no she actually did oh no she's coming back you want to stay in one place so i can kill you how do you keep running away and coming back what's your deal you want a kiss is that what it is holy [ __ ] just stand still perfect that's what i wanted all right there's a good chance i've now murdered every girl in this village but we're gonna go back and see what's left kurt scott landon these are all guys nothing wrong with that but i don't think i can have a child with them danielle daniela sure danielle do you like cole i have nothing else oh she does look at that here we go mmm take it all 85 hearts need like 15 more rabbits foot these are like good luck or something no no i don't have anything of value rose gold damn right it is iron's probably worth something okay there we go now will you marry me and a child please you lost baby joby didn't you what does that mean no i didn't lose your baby i lost the baby of the wife i murdered give me a baby what's your problem no we don't already have a baby this is rigged i accidentally murder one baby and suddenly nobody wants to have kids with me like come on the game is broken i don't think it's coded for me to kill babies which i guess kind of makes sense am i supposed to do with you now guess i can just put all my junk in your inventory and let you carry it around okay it looks like i need a new village here everybody follow me we are going on a field trip together it's gonna be a lot of fun what happens if i kiss her in front of my wife do you mind that you still won't have a baby with me well what if i kiss kurt no me cheating doesn't seem to affect the relationship i just kissed four other people in front of her she doesn't seem to care yes let's roll gang off we go to i don't know because i actually haven't planned this bit out but i'm sure i'll think of something funny along the way i must be a really good kisser these people are very loyal you see it's moments like these that make me wish that i hadn't have used the tnt to kill hitler earlier there's something really wrong with your boobs i mean i hate to say it i mean i don't want to be a body shamer or anything but you should probably get that checked out all right everyone it's up this way what is it uh just just don't don't worry about it ah jesus christ this isn't how i wanted them to all die but this works as well they're not this sucks okay i give up oh i'm just gonna beat you all to death with my pickaxe if that's okay it is time for a new villa oh god i really shouldn't run while looking at myself can't believe my luck i've stumbled upon another these are great it's like opening a christmas present you remove the wrapping paper and on the inside you're left with an object that can brutally murder people this one doesn't even have horrible items okay this should be enough to convince someone else to marry me ah what the [ __ ] all right you know i'm still alive that scared the [ __ ] out of me and there's one right here perfect you know honestly i'm a little bit scared that i've completely ruined this video when i killed that baby earlier because i think there's a glitch that makes it think that that baby is anyone who i marries babies and because i killed one baby the game isn't gonna let me have any more how am i supposed to kill children if i can't have children you know it's a predicament hey everyone y'all mind if i hang out with you okay hey don't don't look at me funny just because i'm holding the axe i mean no harm you you look feminine why are you freaking out here okay here's what we're gonna do i'm gonna throw emeralds at you oh wait i gave her my axe on accident okay i didn't need it no emeralds 46 hearts 71 we're almost ready to marry okay yes be my wife hello that was really fast i'm getting pretty good at this okay now baby i know we've known each other for 82 seconds but hear me out have a kid with me goddamn okay you know what we're gonna do i'm trying to kill myself can you comply thank you title screen delete yes okay fresh start better domestic abuse this time not gonna delete oh my god look at my luck as i was saying i'm not allowed to delete babies this time as fun as that was okay but what are the chances i spawn on a village oh you're pretty hello all right lisandra coming after you as soon as i get some coal to throw at you i [ __ ] off my i'm mine in here why are you so piffy i need food it's time for shenanigans it's a nice farm you have here it was an accident i'm sorry you know i find it a little funny that if a villager ever gets stuck in one of these wells there is literally no way for him to get out and i see a lot of guys in this village and not a lot of girls i can only have kids with girls and guys are my competition so this is gonna be the guy well yeah get in there hey follow me yeah come come this way it's so nice up here yeah you're too good looking to stay around sorry you look old but i'm not gonna take my chances your name is also dudley no you're not a threat you can stay you look like you fell victim to some kind of brutal burn but i think some girls are into that so you're going in the well how'd you get out dude you're covered in blood this kind of scary you're going in trying to hide from me in the church nope no need to go to church i'm your god now okay you all have fun in here i hope no zombies wander in oh no there's there's two creepers following me yeah i'd better go hide behind the well whoa no not yet yes perfect technically the villagers won't get mad at me for this because i'm not the one killing them it's the creeper okay the male to female ratio of this village is now one to ten i am the one now that you all want me it's time to get to work hello you're pretty eat some coal please do you not know how to use doors normally that'd be a turn off but that also means she won't be able to escape if i trap her in a house so i'm fine with it it's not difficult you can do it no that doesn't help easy peasy look at this bam just like that she wants to marry me i do need gold for a ring i'll be right back i don't want to lose you because i just spent a lot of coal come all the way in don't just stand in the doorway stay here no that's my girlfriend you [ __ ] i think i don't really know what our relationship status is i just gave her a lot of coal and now she likes me but still don't kill her i want to do that not you gold time okay i'm back your ring is in the oven you still love me right you know the saying as old as time it goes something like couples who get together with 28 or so pieces of coal stay together yeah yeah everyone says that hey you want the shiny thing that's gonna let me have kids with you 205 hearts i'm such a good partner give me a kid sex okay name this one archibald now we're gonna keep him right here and we're not gonna kill him okay i'm gonna try my hardest what happens if i put him in the oven oh okay now that's that's a little messed up also really funny though i might use that as the thumbnail you care if i cheat on you because charisse you know i'm kind of into green eyed girls a little more you need you want to give me a kiss really quick yeah she doesn't care can i uh you know marry two girls at once let's find out can i give you flowers because those are easy to find yeah okay i'm gonna go get some flowers so i can cheat on my wife honey come we're collecting dandelions for no particular reason just love picking flowers and then having them mysteriously disappear don't worry about where they're going it's none of your business come on baby isn't this fun look our baby is three minutes old i don't know how this process works does he ever turn into like an actual character i guess we'll find out assuming i don't accidentally send him into the void again should have done this way earlier there's so many cheaper ways to get a wife than with cole i'm saying a lot of weird sentences in this video okay you aren't the same girl but i can't find her and it doesn't really matter so you're gonna take the flowers my wife's just looking at me as i seduce another woman in front of her look wife stay here sherry follow me you're very unappreciative how did you survive the whole of death all right could you come with me too i guess now sherry if there's one thing i hate it's um i don't know i don't want to make a narrative here that's too sexist so i'm going to just be quiet you see today we are playing follow me far away from the village and get in the small hole the game is old as time you go in yep come on don't be scared can you not make that jump you really need me to help you with this okay thank you and you go don't worry you can trust me just need to get a piece of flint no particular reason you know i just think it's a cool rock geez the game really doesn't want me burning these people to death there we go no i'm sorry my fingers slipped you know it's just accidents happen sometimes how do you think this guy was born okay just like it never happened hey rabid dog i don't have any bones but um if i did i would totally give them to you you seem to be looking at something is there an animal under here somehow you're very fixated on this block right here i'm gonna get to the bottom of this what what's what's down here that's so interesting to you how are you looking this way what is it oh my there's actually a cave here oh he just wants to murder the skeleton that's cute hey look at him go yeah get him boy no no i didn't mean to do that now they're both attacking me i'm going to go home now it's been fun can i gift her my baby boy i want to try it but last time i did that it kind of broke the game here follow me i need more items to give you god i can't get these girls off of me must be my attractive pasty white skin and devilish smile 93 hearts we're getting there this should do it perfect hey you want to also be my wife come on please let me do this what hey you should have told me that before i spent like five minutes getting flowers for you jeez kind of awkward now i want to make out well see this doesn't make any sense she seems to like it why won't you marry me see what's going on here are you certain you don't want to marry me trust me this next decision you make is going to be very important all right yeah so here's here's what's going to happen brought this upon yourself i mean i could say i'm sorry but i'm not you can still survive if you get in the water look i saved you i'm getting bored i want my baby to be born so i can mess some more [ __ ] up these villagers are weird man they just built like half a bridge here doesn't make any sense okay it has been an hour and archibald is ready to grow i don't know how you got in here but i don't appreciate your presence you won't get mad at me if i just murdered her right you don't seem to care you still love me let's birth our baby boy on the corpse of that villager he's so small what the hell hi archibald who are you like a fetus-sized child what can i do with you can i send you to work here go go hunting i can make my baby go hunting i have to give him a sword he says that can be arranged no you can't eat the sword i mean it would be really funny if you tried but no how do i give you a sword maybe i put it in his inventory oh my god the baby is hunting go go sick him get him i don't think he's actually capable of movement yet doesn't mean he can't work though come on hey let's get a zombie in here i want i want to test my child's combat skills oh damn it okay incest is off the table i guess you friendly why are you friendly no i want you to be dangerous okay follow me come and attack my child i want to see if he fights back get him kill the baby not me come on he's hunting hunt the spider yeah okay this probably isn't gonna work i'm traumatizing this child aren't i all right you can stop working what else can i do with you will you follow me oh he can move jesus christ he's fast hey let's have another one yes a little baby girl come on family i'ma be honest this is kind of cute i have cheated on her like four times but we don't talk about it i think this pig wants to join the family he seems to be eyeing us down with no outsiders how else can i mess with the baby i have a lot of health oh wow this is a durable baby you don't mind that i'm beating our kids right he seems to be okay with it okay it would be really funny but he might die hold on i can find a way to set him on fire safely just need a bucket of water in case things go too wrong hi baby you might you might want to look away for this bit yeah uh you know what you stay here you follow me this is comedy you can't look at this and say that it's not funny the baby is on fire let's put you out you still love me right how do i heal you you know i'm not sure maybe does he need food do i need to feed my child he'll just heal over time it's fine name the girl dar fouschwetz uh it's a cute name archibald and darfu schwetza i tried to do all the things on the list i don't think most of them are possible the game won't let me have a second family i definitely would if i could i can still try to marry my children to each other that's that's not off limits okay but these take like an hour to grow and i i don't have that kind of time i got places to be we're just gonna do a little bit of foolery okay you know i'm actually betting now that they didn't code the baby timer on the internal game time but on my computer time i don't want to sit here for an hour it's like watching paint dry you're pestering me why do your eyes go in opposite directions that doesn't make any sense you're not getting a clear image of anything that you're looking at you're eternally cross-eyed stupid creature hurry up you know while we're waiting i know you use an iron ring to marry other people is it are you too young to get married okay he won't take it probably coded that you can't make a child get married but every time i click on it it makes his heart it makes his hearts go down okay so what i've done is i've coded a macro specifically to make my child despise me oh that's just beautiful all right i'm gonna go take a [ __ ] let's see if we can get into the millions by the time i'm back negative one million three hundred and seventy six thousand two hundred and forty i am officially the world's worst father and i could not be more proud this is difficult news for me to bring to you but some unfortunate events transpired while i wasn't recording i think i should end things here this has been a lot of fun genuinely i liked this mod bye feel free to check out my other videos subscriber don't i'm about to die and the video is also about to end

Channel: Boffy

Views: 4,718,112

Rating: 4.9024825 out of 5

Keywords: gaming, minecraft, mod, mods, funny, boffy, minecraft manhunt, minecraft family, family mod, minecraft girlfriend

Id: e_GH6I2mbYU

Length: 26min 29sec (1589 seconds)

Published: Sat May 01 2021