What damaging things did your parents tell you?

like and subscribe right now or else this will be in your bed tonight our /oscar edit by planet Reddit what was the most damaging thing a parent said to you when you were growing up not me but a friend of mine grew up with an alcoholic mother who changed boyfriend's quite frequently one boyfriend in particular started to rape my friend at the age of 9 years old when her mum was passed out it went on for a couple of months before my friend finally told someone the cops came around to arrest him her mum lost her [ __ ] and started yelling at the cops demanding an explanation one of the officers straight up said because he rapes your child that's why in front of my friend she then looked at her daughter at her boyfriend and then back to the cop and asks why can't you just take her I feel that the state should have taken the kid because of the comment I think letting her child get raped for months should have disqualified her well before the comment my mother locked me out of the house and told me to never come back after I told her boyfriend of a week to get away from my dog bastard kept hitting my dog tipped my dog and fled to my dad's I was 12 at a time my mom's boyfriend took a duck in camera and put it under the bathroom door as I was getting in the shower I know it was on because of the light was on I was like maybe 12 13 I flipped out my mom told me to stop being so rude to her boyfriend because it was just a joke shame on me right my mom said her husband my stepfather wasn't that kind of man when I told her he sexually violated me it only happened the once thankfully but that betrayal has stayed with me forever I was nine at a time when I was a kid my dad used to hit me I had had to help him with his work constantly and when I did something wrong he would either mimic hitting and towering over me and if he'd gotten angry enough just hit me anyways after a while I started flinching over every sudden movement eated near me and sometimes it was so bad that I dropped something orbitally injure myself by moving into something he thought it was funny he made jokes to other people about how you didn't have to even touch me to injure me I'd do it to myself I was just a kid back then it took me a couple of years to realize how wrong the whole situation was the reason why I flinched was because I was afraid there was a slap or a punch or yes even a kick coming my way that was just the first thing of many that pot into my mind what sucks is that I get these flashbacks of his actions and sayings sometimes some that my mind had suppressed and they just make me so angry direct quote would be something like this you don't even have to hit him he'll injure himself me and my little brother had been naughty nothing special just regular kids naughty we had an older brother and sister they were twins mum took us into the bedroom to punish us we didn't plan to have you you were accidents we chose to have your older brother and sister you were accidents me about eight or nine that's terrible you can't say that to kids I will remember this when I grow up my brother seven cries mum shuts up fast thirty years later the subject came up and she denies it ever happened except my younger brother also still remembers it to accidents fool me once shame on you fool me twice shame on me fool me three times you're becoming that guy you know the one not directly said to me but being 13 coming home to my alcoholic mother's suicide note on the kitchen table it essentially told my dad he should have married ex woman who he cheated on her with years earlier had some strange goodbyes and duck used all doubts in his direction I had never run up that flight of stairs so fast found her facedown in bed didn't think she was breathing empty Magnum bottles of wine strewn everywhere after jostling her for awhile she finally stood and I knew she was alive I told her unconscious drunk ass that I loved her to death and would be heartbroken if she did something stupid I left taking the note with me never mentioned it to anyone in my family my mom doesn't remember even writing it decades later I still can't stomach the stench of cheap white wines Rieslings chardonnays I know exactly how you felt alcoholic suicidal mother except mine ended up drinking herself to death before 40 did you ever feel like you were the parent and she was the child sometimes absolutely I'm an amazing parent because I had to be one by age 9 I'm also a mediator between the others in my family because I was somehow elected to be that person whether I wanted to be or not there's nothing romantic about calling the police and telling them the rough direction you last saw you're shit-faced parent driving in in the hope that they arrested for a DUI and possibly sober her up but they never catch her in time I find some sick humor and the fact that as a 20 year old I got a DUI and she picked me up from jail and then proceeded to have a four bottles of wine that night one of the few times she did try to hide it it was a free pass from judgment because of the trouble I had gotten into to this day she tries to relate to me as someone who understands her plight the key of it and it fills me with rage and resentment I lost out on having a mommy all I remember is fear anger and pity for a human that was supposed to keep me ignorant and safe from the world birthdays graduations Christmases I was making sure she didn't celebrate to the point of dying so that I never truly felt what one of those milestones should feel like if it wasn't illegal you'd be spending the night with my buddies at least then I'd be getting something implying the money from pimping me out out of raising you I was 11 what a duck up they were don't believe that [ __ ] for then and now okay OB duh Cup is the best word for them he was a narcissistic abusive a-hole who drank himself to death I was sexually abused by my older brother for several years as a child until he moved out and never told my family I ended up actually forgetting it ever happened until seventh grade I assumed I repressed it well I told the close friend and she took me to see a counselor who went to her church nothing ever happened with it fast forward to my sophomore year in high school I was given 70 hours community service for truancy and if you and a parent did this group therapy thing it had knocked off 40 hours the counselor who did it was the same counselor who I told you about my brother who in turn told my dad what happened his response that explains her grades I cried about it for weeks edit my mother was worse than my dad and I want everyone to know I don't hold what my dad said against him my mom is a shitty person in general who makes my distressed dad sound like parent of the year when she found out she cried for about two minutes sucked it up and then explained that her mother herself and I all were sexually abused by a family member and that we got over it and so should you this just didn't hurt my feelings much because she was always rude I told my mom the Babis it had put his penis in my mouth shut the duck up don't spread lies about people he made me talk on the phone while he went to a different phone in the house and pretended to be a doctor saying that this would make his tummy feel better even made my brother do it 20 years later and she still won't believe it but she's a self-centered [ __ ] who had me way too early when my brother and I moved out she went mentally backwards to relive her twenties and duck everything that walks I also grew up with her and her mutually abusive boyfriend having bloody fights every week cops were at my house every single week for seven ducking years duck my childhood I told my mom the Babis it had put his penis in my mouth that's duck top my mom got really drunk on my 16th birthday got really upset that no one was paying a 10 to her and then started screaming at me and telling me she hated me she tried to throw something at me but she was too drunk and missed this sounds exactly like my 16th birthday except swap the drinks for drugs my mother was constantly doing stuff like that whenever she was high she told me one year that she wished I had successfully committed suicide after I disclosed to her that I had tried I feel your pain you definitely aren't alone I tried my best to raise you so you wouldn't be like your father my father shot and killed himself and my brother as well as shooting me and causing me to go blind he was also expected to be a narcissist it's nothing they actually said but whenever I tried doing something new on my own that wasn't already expected of me they just laughed it off you want to exercise and eat healthy ha ha don't be silly you are not fat I was and then they maybe you mentioned it at a dinner with family friends for some more sensible chuckle there were many other things like that and while I'm sure they meant no harm this caused me to do stuff on my own or do it when I was more mature and I didn't care as much what people thought about me now since I stopped telling them things my parents know very little about me and we have almost nothing to talk about the only person with whom I can talk to more than few minutes is my sister since we never had this problem but I know what you mean my family likes to do this a lot and it's always so discouraging some people just need to realize that the jokes they make in good faith or not can harm join our community discord link in description you're just like your father not a nice thing to say considering she divorced him and hated his guts especially to an 11 year old girl bullying in the bathroom yup same here every time we did something bad she'd threaten us with sending us to our dad's house she's get on the phone to him with us in the room and say so you're saying you don't want to see the girls and my dad could hear us crying when we were out of favor with her she would focus on our appearance and say you have your dad's nose that's er his surname nose my sister and I grew up firmly believing that dad had tried to kill mum when they were married my sister was in her late 20s before she'd even talked to him without a snare on her face even thinking about what his life must have been like back then makes me cry my mum was a crazy [ __ ] who made us believe we were bad children him believe he was a bad father he is the best man I know and did her best to destroy any chance of a relationship then she accused him of sexually abusing me because I had run away to live with him because I couldn't take her physical and mental abuse anymore oh yeah and now she accuses me of having abused her she has been saying this to me since I was about 10 or 11 after years of abuse from my mother my dad finally divorced her and in the years my sister and I lived with him afterwards he often told us he wanted to kill himself usually before he got drunk every night this was highschool edit I read half of these and realized most people posting one to share their story because it's duct up we were treated terrible and his young people definitely didn't deserve it we are more than our past so let's move forward from it and hold our head up you won't become like them to your family later my mum told me a lot why are you so weird why can't you be normal I was an introverted kid who was in pain from her alcoholic father being a dunt and making home life miserable we lived too far for me to leave the house to visit the town centre or any friends so I was trapped in my own healthy earth now I am still weird I have a chronic illness and am just an oddball but I am at least happy my mother regrets saying those things she didn't know how hard it was on me it was hard on her too and I forgive her she's grown a ton as a person too and I respect the hell out of her for all she's done for my sis and me we're very close now three oh I'm glad to see a happy ending here I was am pretty weird myself and my mom and I used to be distant when I was younger but we've also grown up together now we're pretty close to I told my mom I was depressed when I was 17 she told me getting over depression was easy because she got over her postpartum depression and that I shouldn't be weak like my uncle that particular uncle committed suicide as a teenager duck mum and dad are divorced I love with mom I'm 15 mom decides to move 500 miles away dad over about six months repeatedly tells me that by law I'm old enough to make my own decision about whether to go with her or stay with him tells me I'm man now and he would respect my decision over and over and over agonizing decision I decide to go with more haven't told him yet he calls me one day and says he needs my decision today picks me up and takes me to TCBY in the car he tells me again to not be scared either decision is okay I'm a man now and he will respect the decision in tears I tell him I'm leaving he immediately reaches in the back seat and hands me an envelope I open it and it is a summons for me to appear in court the day before we leave had to get up in court to say I wanted to go with my mom luckily the judge thought this was ridiculous took me and my dad's lawyer to his chambers yelled at the lawyer called him a disgusting person kicked him out of the room and asked me what I wanted to do I said go with my mom he said cool walked out left the next day have had a hard time making adult decisions since that day in the car I'm 40 I had a somewhat similar experience my mother and her lawyer asked me who I wanted to live with when I was seven and because she was the person in the room and I didn't want to disappoint her I said I wanted to live with her even though I had a better relationship with my dad a year later my dad died alone and his body wasn't discovered for days still haunts me that if I had been asked in a more fair way he might have had someone there to help him and he might have lived definitely affected my ability to make difficult decisions dude this is not on you not even the slightest you would have been eight at the time he died you Eldon Teva helped him and actually seeing him go would be far more traumatic don't imagine you have any responsibility towards this based on the amount of posts here this will most likely be buried my mom like the rest of my family has severe depression I've always known since I was young but all I knew was that she had to take medication and that she was sad sometimes she would tell me what was wrong and I'd be there to cheer her up I always felt like I was bearing the weight of all of her problems from the time I was old enough to understand them around 8 years old I felt like it was my responsibility we were always fairly poor we never went hungry but we also never had money my mom was a single parent and worked her ass off to support us and a few years later my sister when I started high school I moved to a new town because she had gotten a great job she was making $40,000 a year Canadian this was about 10 years ago now and was in a serious relationship with a great guy who ran his own bricklaying business and probably made about 60 80 K a year I didn't know at the time how much money we were making because it seemed like we were broke the power got shut off now and then because they'd forget to pay the bills because of this I never asked for new clothes or anything really because I assumed we were still broke a month or two later she talks to us about what happened around Christmas with her and she said that she had no memory of anything that happened for a full week just before she took time off work and until a few days after she got out of the hospital she doesn't remember showing us or saying anything to us or even doing it all I know is I'll remember that forever it's burned into my memory I'm sure it's the same for my sister the only reason I kept you was so that when I had a kid I actually wanted I'd have a built-in babysitter this is the worst thing I've ever read I am sorry your stepmother is more important to me than you eleven years old adults can really be selfish dogs I just posted this on someone else's comment but now I'm emotional about it and I want it to be its own thing my stepdad is the ducking worst human being on the face of the planet I was the little redheaded stepchild growing up the sorts of things he said to my sister my brother and I are awful and made us all feel like garbage he valued appearance over all other things which meant his two pretty daughters always got preferential treatment over us only two of you can go one of you has to stay here that doesn't sound like much but it's what it did to us that damaged us the most that was his rule for the three of us visiting with our father the excuses for why one of us had to stay home varied never held much weight but we were young and we couldn't do anything my dad never said anything to them about which was worse my mom stood by and agreed with him it would have been okay if it worked on a rotation but it didn't what ended up happening was an alliance between my sister and brother where they'd plan to go with my dad and make plans with him without telling me they'd tell him that I was okay with it I wouldn't know he was coming until he got there my mom and stepdad never stopped this they knew what was going on and they still let it happen they wanted it to happen because that meant they could drive a wedge between one of us and our dad I got so upset once that I just burst into tears right there and told my father that I hated him and when my stepdad and mom tried to comfort me I told them that I hated them and their stupid rule but ooh I guess that was when they figured out that they were also ducking themselves over instead of just the relationship with dad and his kids because they were a little more lenient after that still it taught me a lot about everyone involved now I think everyone's plotting behind my back and that people who care about me just doing it for sure thanks Mason I hope you ducking rod thanks for watching subscribe for 3 videos a day [Music]

Channel: Ask Planet

Views: 664,243

Rating: 4.9497018 out of 5

Keywords: r/askreddit, askreddit, parents, askreddit funny, best of reddit, reddit parents, ask reddit, reddit stories, askreddit stories, updoot reddit, reddit, funny askreddit, reddit cringe, parents secret, tz reddit, reddit story, reddit funny, reddit top posts, parrents, parent stories, parent, secret parents hide, top posts, askreddit scary, askreddit parents, reddit bad parents, best reddit posts, funny reddit, reddit parent stories

Id: qsEofWN3UhE

Length: 18min 51sec (1131 seconds)

Published: Thu Apr 02 2020