r/TIHI | belly donut

remember kids whenever someone calls you a maggot what they mean is that you look really cute and adorable look at him in his googly eyes hey welcome to mk my name is jack i can't run track and today i must ask is your name it because i currently hate you at least based on the subreddits we're looking at today it's nothing personal it's just personal so today at the gym i thought my trainer was flirting with me when he asked for my number and to take a pic of me turns out he thought i resembled buzz lightyear and [Laughter] hands down there is no way that isn't him flirting though to be fair he probably is just creating a bit of banter with you when you jump off a building but realize you were never bitten by a radioactive spider can he swing from a web no he can't cause he's a man look out here comes man this is exactly how i imagine someone in 1899 would imagine future technology works oh not this chapter's game thing oh god oh god i gotta fart oh what do we do everyone hold it in or maybe she'll like it why is that an option educational dentist toys i'm so glad i never came across these when i was a little kid this is exactly why i'll never drive first person in those kind of racing games because they just it feels so weird to drive it like this the most memorable moments in life are the ones you never planned all right well done team it seems we've officially made the internet cancelled staring at produces tatars hey buddy my eyes are up here why make a difference for me yo the simpsons in real life just look like a bunch of crackheads yeah they kind of do at least homer looks somewhat realistic the rest of them just look like freaking frog people why does her shadow look like rotisserie chicken how did she even get that that's just my phone i haven't said on vibrate isn't that your phone a human crab hybrid sculpture by season lee i would absolutely pay to see this in some sort of horror movie or supernatural-ish maybe like sci-fi kind of thing could you imagine like a zombie play but with crab head things like this oh man that'll be creepy as hell i genuinely don't hate this i actually love it i can remove bloodstains look just like that it's got works best when it's fresh so call immediately a little trick my aunt taught me works for blood only no other bodily juices or oils i'm waiting your call no i'm not a vampire i'm just really really weird call me i need sustenance well what can i say but aren't you just smashing well pinata school is great they just feed us candy all day so what's after graduation big burgers should be wider not taller okay that i can agree to i hate it when i go somewhere and they're like try our cowboy cut half down extra thick big boy burger and they bring out a freaking meatloaf between two ass cheeks expecting me to unhinge my jaw like a snake to take this meat log they put before me far out man that was one sentence but such compelling storytelling taken at mcdonald's we thought our daughter was alone in this playground at the time the face on the left was not visible at the time i took this when she asked who was next to her in the pic she replied that's my imaginary friend beto well clearly in this situation the best option is to just put her up for adoption seriously get rid of the whole problem altogether no child in your house means no child-possessing demon either a sweet gift from the underworld oh how cute a spider goat no seriously this is adorable i don't see why i should hate this most animals get funnier when you shave them not bears bears get even more terrifying yeah but in a way they also look far less menacing i mean the bear just looks wrinkly and old like it has no energy at all to chase me that said i'm not gonna test that theory i'll feel much safer here in the southern hemisphere where there are no bears only you know venomous spiders snakes crocodiles not to mention humans oh they're the most dangerous species i swear if your username is the answer what's the question have you seen the hamster why what's your username ah hey if you're taking a screenshot put me in a red circle okay happy to help dan uh okay yeah sure this is totally legit she definitely isn't just pressing her stomach out oh but then again no ah it's hard to tell the photo's at a slightly different angle so you can't really fully compare okay if it is legit massive props to the flexibility here love the kid has just no idea what's going on though daddy why do you keep making mommy pose like this to get you a sister son huh yay what's this a sneak peek at the bathrooms of super nintendo world at universal studios parks feel even more immersed in mushroom kingdom as you water these thirsty piranha power what did they legitimately advertise like this pee in my mouth you'll be in my mouth give me pee pee mom a funk in me hey you welcome to today's asmr session today we're gonna eat an apple full of peace my favorite movie two italian gentlemen trying to get dogs to flick in the alley only sold a teenage stepdad for 69 cents i'll just go to photoshop a condom in the bottom left corner for extra measure because the rest of it isn't horrible enough i am mr potato head a tortilla now i am mr tortilla head my cat got run over by a car the milkman who wants some milk thanks milkman oh mark bathroom with a glass floor above abandoned elevator shaft you know what would make this even worse if there was glass piping leading out from the toilet you get to see you guys travel down the shaft farewell burrito it was a good time we had together yes this is an egg yes it does turn out that eggs can come out like this pretty certain this person's just admitted to having mutant chickens instead of normal chicken but okay when you compare the size of a gummy worm versus a gummy bear it starts to paint a horrific picture of the gummy universe provided with a comic kind of panel that uh gives me attack on titan vibes they are the prey and we are the hunters these rings let you feel your partner's heartbeat anywhere in the world bro just imagine you wearing the ring that freaking stops beating to be fair they could have easily just been taking it off because they're having a shower maybe they're getting changed maybe they're having an affair you know or so many other reasons two people had sex back in the 90s now i gotta feed myself and work every day yeah thanks mom and dad you selfish okay but no joke there is actually an online movement of people who believe in this kind of logic where they have the right to sue their parents for forcefully thrusting them into a life that they didn't ask for it's actually uh really interesting can't remember the name of them but uh there you go whose hair is this chill it's just my dogs oh oh my god i'm so sorry don't worry she doesn't suspect a thing next week i swear commercials are gonna be like we stand against racism and police brutality that you can race on over and brutally devour our new double bacon cheddar steak burger and fries for only 7.99 and remember your moral causes our profits uk surgeon finds 27 missing contact lenses in woman's eye okay i've never actually needed contacts myself but even i know you should never keep your contacts in your eyes like come on people go blind from that like more blind than they already are this lookable screen can recreate almost any taste or flavor without eating food can i recreate this taste [Music] fbi open up money peter griffin well that explains the terrible business strategies that's me a son nick oh i'm equally uncomfortable to look at the bdsm community needs to get in on the protests if hordes of leather and latex people charging into rubber bullets yelling harder daddy doesn't unnerf the police nothing will on an unrelated note does anyone else get random bdsm stuff on their tech talk is it just me because i i keep getting random stuff about bdsm topics please don't let me be the only one i don't want to be the only one here 69 and that's how universal harmony was created don't drink water after eating fish because the water may cause the fish to swim and then you will feel glue in your stomach oh no my cement melting acids in my stomach didn't stop the fish in time now it's getting up i was eating a mango and the pit was so hairy so i gave it a haircut shampooed and conditioned it and blow-dried it why don't get me wrong he looks gorgeous but why who needs toilet paper shortages when you have cardboard yes that thing that you definitely have always wanted if you could use it instead so that's why i like to build my own stuff rather than being a consumer you know hey hey shut up i can't make a power chord out of your intestines if you keep screaming like that all right this looks exactly like something a method actor would do to get into a snail roll just look at all the slime on them that's so icky who's that pokemon reply with your answer right on right on these nuts an analysis of plankton's face single eye single brown effect angry double eye double brow effect sad triple eye triple brow sad angry double eye single brow angry quad eye quad brow sad quad eye double brow sad or angry depending on where you look when you put more effort into making a good quality meme than you do during your school assignments hollywood okay but how will people know which one is the boy and which one is the girl ah there's the answer [Music] [Laughter] i feel like hollywood always mainly panders to the most simplistic of mentalities but then to be fair it's the simpleton part of our brains that spends the money on their stuff and which is what they keep producing so it's really also our own fault too the time machine worked we're going to learn so much by having sex with dinosaurs uh what diabetic rhinosaurus wrecks my butt what hey i was right what if spongebob was people look this isn't as terrifying as the cgi remakes that are out there i could get behind these designs when the sun is directly overhead in hawaii everything looks like a bad video game render wow oh that lack of shading honestly this is tripping me out i don't like this boy walked on site with his big toe stitched to his hand that's a toe time to make some extra cash and foot fetishes hey i don't blame them i'd hit that by which i mean wazowski i'd hit him with a baseball bat oh disgusting when you're too busy worrying about murder hornets here comes the snailing disease what's worse if stallions did exist or the fact that someone actually made this look at it the detailing is so cool but still so uncomfortable to look at security robot given the gift of intelligence chooses to drown itself that can't be true the robot after one second let's just give up and die well this just reeks of some high school student trying to be deeply meaningful with their article project really good work with the painting and stuff but just it's just it's so weird never wear clothes the same color as your chair on tv he's just constantly tensed up ready to go thank you for that life advice that i'm sure many of us will definitely need to apply when we're on tv in the next week did you think this was some art piece design thing no these are all live literal worms they're trying to avoid the flood just just look at that look at all the worms now imagine your head dipped all over them so they wriggle all over to your face go on do it feel their slimy body slither around you into your ears and up your nose oh you're still alive they didn't epstein you well that's good to know thanks for watching please if you liked the video give us a little likey likey and if you're a bit of fresh stuff coming into the channel why not subscribe and keep up to date with all our fresh content there is plenty more mk goodness on our channel so feel free to check out previous videos so with all that said my name is jack you've been a pleasure to rant at and i'll see you guys next time bye

Channel: EmKay

Views: 293,078

Rating: 4.9276323 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% True stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, reddit stories, ask reddit, funny reddit, emkay, tihi, tihi best posts, tihi top posts, thanksihateit, thanksihateit top posts, thanksihateit best posts, tihi emkay, thanksihateit emkay, thanks i hate it, makemesuffer, makemesuffer emkay, cursedcomments, noahgettheboat, r/noahgettheboat, noahgettheboat emkay, ezpz

Id: UfUFOJ92LgU

Length: 11min 52sec (712 seconds)

Published: Sat Sep 26 2020