r/SuspiciouslySpecific | Ordering 372 Sodas at McDonalds

girls on tinder will say your parents will love me but your neighbors won't like what are you gonna do start mowing at 7:00 a.m. on a Saturday are / suspiciously specific it's been a little bit but hey disclaimer please do not use the toaster and microwave at the same time that camera to beat cr7 and telephone line number four are in use this will blow the breakers on the middle elephant thank you management sometimes I'm like I should buy some orange juice I love it I don't know why I never have in the house and then I get some but I remember it's because some kind of dormant scurvy Prevention instinct activates within me like a sleeper agent trained to seek and destroy except it's just me standing in front of the open frigid 2:00 in the morning [Laughter] so I'm my cat is licking himself loudly and wedley somewhere in this pitch-black room and it sounds like there's an old man eating a bug I feel sorry for anyone that does ridiculously because that would be funny I don't understand that first message dies anyone that died ridiculously yeah me too like slipping on a banana peel and getting a ketchup bottle stuck up your butt but you bleed as it was a glass bottle and the doctor doesn't know what's blood and what's ketchup so you bleed out easier just do a taste test god the McDonald's workers watching me walk in for the seven times a day knowing damn well I'm gonna order a 372 small root beers and nothing when your crush calls you and tells you there's some creep watching her through a window so you go to her house and help her but she asks how you got there in 15 seconds oh yeah I happen to be speed walking nearby it when you've called Megamind is such an underrated movie ac/dc I'm on the highway to hell play this said I'll hospital while disconnecting all the machines when you're absolutely terrified of butterflies but you work for National Geographic and they need pictures of butterflies baddies that is really good Photoshop that is really good re slash ass credit what is something we can all agree on being a dick move up standing up to get your bags and crowd the gate door because you're mr. big shot just after flight attendants told everyone to stay seated so medical personnel could have backed the guy at the back of the plane who just had a heart attack in front of his kids her before sex be gentle her ten minutes into sex hit me with the brake while calling me your sister's name wait that's illegal this drinking game prompt drink two times if you've ever watched Chinese and where the scene takes place in a bus with 14 guys no but I have seen something that includes 18 Cowboys if you got that reference congratulations you're in this same hellhole that I'm in there are roughly 40 million kangaroos worldwide and there are 8 billion people in Ohio so if there was an instance that kangaroos invaded Ohio each individual would have to fight off a minimum of 5 kangaroos and I don't know if we could do it you couldn't how big our dear adult deer are as tall as a bicycle they weigh as much as 800 hamburgers okay pimples are not for pole dancing please find alternative ways to disappoint your father it must be a really good story behind this one there's a guy who's autistic kind of a slob likes to play games look at memes really clingy and likes to look stylish comes from a small family living in an apartment and there's a girl who likes photography kpop Marvel movies eating healthy kind of shy and only has a few friends come from a big house of a few siblings and very strict parents would they get along or make good friends are you uh are you asking for a friend there buddy I just heard two girls making fun of another girl for wearing the same shoes two days in a row like what I'm sorry you're rich dad's buy you new or watches every day because he cheated on your mom in 2003 and tries to buy your love I can't relate your bin bag they're trying to ban flavored jewel pods for being too appealing to children like all of us haven't woken up in a field at 6:00 in the morning covered in vomit at the age of 15 after slamming an entire bottle of whipped cream pinnacle the night before who hasn't I hate air pods dude I'd rather be broke than have to little tiny things to keep track of oh there's like a carrier ma'am like I'll remember the carrier when I'm barreling out of my door with the bus coming in two minutes an air pod falls out and falls into a storm drain I fling my head around to watch it fall the other one flies out onto the street and my bus crushes it I scream in agony and run up to it and the bus just barreled straight over b-because bus drivers in Chicago's have three kill I would say so yeah what's worse than a heartbreak falling off a toilet Mitch the doubling out of the cubicle in your lies is in there washing his hands and he freaks out and you just keep seeing vising and he's screaming and tries to open the door but his answers soapy so he slips and falls back or a nod to you and dot dot dot let me tell you this if firefighters had to cut me loose from a traumatic car accident and I would wake up after a coma of eight days and I saw that the doctors decided to amputate my legs because they could not rescue it in time I wouldn't stand up and offer you my hospital bed because you look way worse than me dude you killed them Mia getting ready to ask someone out to homecoming knowing full well that even if they say yes at first it'll probably end up like last time with them saying no 20 hours later alright let's do this one last time my face when the Dairy Queen worker flips my Blizzard upside down my face when my girlfriend I were playing volleyball and she sprains her foot so we go to the doctor to find out she's pregnant ah that's that's a good reference as to what the image is from Wow could I have said that any more awkwardly than the way I did God new brakes today cross your fingers don't need a screen to tell you when it's bad when you press the brakes and it sounds like two cats get in a dumpster it's time to change them description I think I've ever heard of terrible brakes I feel like there's a story here ASMR rude brandy melville employee ASMR rude brandy melville employee interviews you some of the ASMR videos just go off the goddamn wall with like what they're doing for their life roleplay things like I've seen a couple where it's like robbing you blind sacrifice see you inviting you to a cult it's it's a pretty pretty wide variety of content when she asks you how's your footwork and you respond with a detailed description of how well you give her jobs but then she says that she meant footwork as a dancing so you have to kill Urtz star body in an industrial freezer for 10 years and fill the investigation dies down and you can go explain to her parents what happened to their daughter and and your explanation with you could say I had to put her on ice but they don't laugh and now it's awkward okhta be like password requirements were not met password requirements at least 16 characters a lowercase letter an uppercase letter at number is Sybil know parts of your username sacrifice a virgin go out on a stone stand during full moon at midnight on the seaside where the herd is watching if you try to live on iceberg lettuce alone you would have to eat 34 heads of lettuce daily and you would spend 17,000 551 annually before dying of multiple nutrient deficiencies why was this calculated because they did the math I love that subreddit I'm gonna be doing that one soon imagine being in a cabin trying to get back to sleep alone in your room at 2:00 a.m. with nothing but woods and pitch blackness outside and since it's summer you have your window open and all of a sudden a load from the woods you hear a faint and your skin turns to ice and you freeze up wondering if you actually heard it in 10 minutes later you hear another this time you know now that it's approaching and you decide to stay as still as possible because maybe it's not looking for you and you won't draw attention to yourself if you don't make any noise and ten minutes later you jump up screaming and as you get up you see a pale white face pressed against your window among the darkness and you just keep screaming because you are too afraid to function and all you can think of is to awake your parents in the next room but they come because this thing is smart and as planned this out and is getting what it wants because you've been a hit by and B you've been it struck by a smooth criminal me I'm not gonna drink tonight me had 3 a.m. in the parking lot on the other side of the city pretending to play an imaginary piano these dogs the villains in a movie where a golden retriever wins a snowboarding tournament yeah that's that's about right all they're missing now is those really creepy CGI mouths they try to pass off as being real and they have to look oddly into the camera whenever they talk and it's just really uncomfortable I'm looking at you Marmaduke it's all fun and games until you try to build dick armor with the 400-plus little magnet cubes only to have it collapse itself after you put it on it's somehow a few blocks and I stuck together with your scrub re slash ass credit people who customized the exhaust on your 2003 Honda Civic to make it sound like someone blasting a wet fart through a megaphone why do you do this that's the real questions sorry the gilfs take it don't forget that every bumper sticker that you put on the car adds 5 HP and those neon under glow lights they add like 10 HP and that big ass we keep on the back of there that's like 50 HP and also those big-ass subwoofers at a hundred HP don't forget the Honda Civic mods now if you drive a Honda Civic and you mod it properly kudos to you pin apples you just failed spelling pineapples why are you on the Internet Isaac hey did you know pineapples grow on trees did you just misspell pineapples huh sorry autocorrected we're talking right now what the hell wipes forehead don't wipe my forehead again i slided a bed with a man I just met walking out in the street and nothing but my underwear shoeing grittily on a cigarette I pushes stranger into oncoming traffic like the hard and callous sex pile I am and say yeah this tweet is soap spot on balls [ __ ] I adjust my underwear sexily totally unaware that men are staring at my sexy human female body what the [ __ ] is going on later I walk into my office still chewing on a cigarette I have eat an entire pack today still in my underwear and I saved my fellow cops you better not take me less seriously just because I'm a girl and then I punched the chief of police I had a lot of brothers growing up and also some dads I'm 19 but all of my cultural references and speech sounds like the voice of a team of 37 to 43 year old men women are supposed to relate to me but I have never exchanged more than three consecutive words with another human female because they're always whining stupid like oh please stop pushing you traffic or you really shouldn't eat nothing but cigarettes ah [ __ ] girls what the hell did I just read me time very sleepy my garbage body hot hot hot no cold no hot bad bad it throw up no hungry no remember that mistake you made it work internalize it never forget back hurt yes headache yes hot roll over Rara Raz butene Russia's greatest lovers jail you know just because y'all have been good and no one has looted many eyes to my knowledge I want to have many eyes read this next one so if we match we are going to meet for a few drinks and you will fall in love with me straightaway we will go on some more dates and you'll pop the question ring we will go to Thailand for our honeymoon and have two kids called George and Isabella also have seven dogs one definitely has to be called max popper emoji can speak 12 languages I have a pet elephant none of the above is true but just say you know I'm a psycho eyes emoji hey welcome to the outro don't forget I have a discord in Twitter those are in the description below if you want to check out my gaming channel where I'm gonna be streaming on the weekends then click there and all that jazz and yeah that's really all you gonna know if you enjoyed this video do the liking and subscribing and all that stuff and I'll see y'all next time

Channel: Oz Media

Views: 1,864,039

Keywords: reddit, reddit cringe, satire, comedy, funny, suspiciously specific, suspiciously specific oz, r/suspiciouslyspecific

Id: vx3DwrjA8M0

Length: 15min 6sec (906 seconds)

Published: Tue Sep 24 2019