r/OddlySpecific | Beyond Suspicious, Just Very Odd

some days you win other days you drop the family size lasagna your favorite pair of shoes here's a very quick disclaimer our / oddly specific for when the posts are no longer suspicious just really odd how unggi away before you introduce your girlfriend to your child for argument's sake let's say you've been dating for three years and the child is six weeks old English teachers just be like mmhmm yes the floor here is made out of floor which symbolizes the effect of post-war Russia's effects on the class system of Poland obviously when you finally find the right block to finish your Minecraft Shrek shrine but your sister keeps crying about your parents divorce please I do not have time for your tears me trying to avoid eye contact with the crack head of the - kitchen bar hot woman winks so what's a girl need to do to get a drink around here I mean you I just asked the bar for one and then exchange it for money three days later me tying my shoelaces wait a second zombie apocalypse survivor bad chuck-e-cheese looks safe let's take shelter in it me banned from all chuck-e-cheeses for a tongue kissing v animatronic Rhett you guys go ahead a small joy of my life is that my sis is dating a guy with the same name as her cat a human Nigel hates back up you're not a real American until you knock a deer unconscious with a chokehold on a 50-pound bag of old Roy dog food and Walmart each morning I put one uncooked ravioli in a thermos I pour hot water over it steeping it like tea and then I drink it all day at work I work at the White House and at the end of the day as I take the last sip of tea the soft ravioli slides in my mouth and I can eat it I would expect nothing less from someone who works in the White House watch a woman tell her husband she's pregnant while Conan O'Brien pours good milk down a human beep hmm looks like something Willy Wonka would make if he was just like four percent more unstable re / ass credit what's something that's frequently done to plants that would be horrifying to do the same to an animal when you bury it play in the ground and pour water on it you're environmentally friendly and caring but when I do it to guinea pigs I'm a Satanist and need to leave bet goat what should you absolutely not do at a wedding when they are exchanging the rings don't stand up dressed as Sauron and say but they were all of them and deceived for another ring was made whilst putting on a ring - first day at Domino's manager oh and one more thing don't [ __ ] the pizzas assistant manager seriously don't look at them cook don't the pizzas dude I'm not customer that guy's not gonna my pizza is he [Laughter] manager not if he wants to keep his job you won't a bestfriend will ride in your car no matter how many times you've nearly killed them a best friend will still hook up with your girl when you're in a town helping your mom move no matter how many times you've told him that you think this girl might be the one mom explaining cuddling with other people's partners is warmer because the fear of getting caught keeps her keeps their blood pressure high dad trying to remember of the divorce guard opens that nine everyday am Mia eating my third Lego for the morning seniors please remember senior assassins is meant to be played with water guns and not a model 1910 browning semi-automatic pistols serial number 1902 74 with 6.4 yo eight rounds last time someone didn't get the memo you got in big trouble the five girls who will absolutely ruin your life number one Julia number two Julia number three years Julia number four Julia number five Julia Julia of your rating this bring my goldfish back hi brain you obstinate [ __ ] I drank the clear splashy stuff I ate the green things I went under that bright [ __ ] birth there I did that thing with the moving in the sweating and whatnot now make the happy chemical that you lump of our /s Credit suppose you left the door open in the neighbor's cat came in pissed in your mop bucket and then you mop the floor now the whole house smells of campus how would you solve that when you told your girl goodnight but you see her walk in the club with your side chick who you invited out and told her to bring a hoe for your boy no maybe later anyways I don't know I have the motivation of a chicken nugget abandoned in the street and run over by a 4x4 I had to mention last time my parents saw my drawings I didn't get that sketch book bag quick tip do not accidentally press download that will play automatically right where you left off none of that when you pile your whole family in the car start it up and your boat a car do the dirty deal of a Bluetooth handshake that totally but record I could drive to Disney World but for my life Panasonic created a fridge that drives to you when called nope I do not want to get high one I see my fridge chasing me that's a requiem for a dream guys help I drop the soap but I'm a reverse centaur and the horse half is on top I don't have arms that I can't reach please help this isn't a mean if you rat or leak someone's fin stuff private post private story late night talks group chat condos personal combos my little pony you Kevin though is supposed to be private you could nudes then you're the worst case the person guns in sand klava we like guns we like the loud noise and bullet that comes out we like sad we like how it feels and how it tastes we roll the round in it learn more enjoying a guns in San calm [Music] our slash superpowers you have the ability to find the love of your life but then she gets taken by Jerry Hugh Jerry we were so happy before you came you King a soul I hope you never come back one time this guy in the stall next to me let out a hellacious fart it's not him like drowning a trumpet in a Chili's deep fryer and somebody else loudly said Jesus Christ and then the far guy apologized and started audibly sobbing me listening to music with naughty words about killing drug dealers and stealing cars on my way in the pharmacy to buy medicine for my upset tummy but not the medicine that tastes yucky second pizza pineapple customer crest crust a little crispier than normal but not too crispy if that's not vague enough make it like you're taking revenge on a cheating boyfriend but you still want to reconcile in the not so distant future customer requests the gate is tricky please don't break it in the spider on the porch is called Frank be nice to Frank he guards the tomatoes why is every red relationship question like I female 29 love my fiancee male 34 except whenever we fight he takes a dump in the living room then makes me refer to his dump as mr. Hawkins and apologize to it am I overreacting our wedding is in six hours doesn't sound like this 70s sounds like I'm getting my dick sucked in a closed room at a strip club roughly between 2:00 to 3:00 a.m. on a Tuesday in Arizona some of you never win swimming as a kid and tried to force a boogie board underwater only afford to shoot back up and hit you in the face and it shows one reason why I'm conservative one I spilled baked beans all over myself watching cars two in the theaters and a black teenager shattered his leading beans and everyone laughed is is there anything worse in life than when you get in bed at a hotel and the sheets are talking lead there so tight that you can't even move them so you grab them and pull them up as hard as you can but then your hand slips because the sheet is tucked through tight and you punch yourself in the face on a scale of 1 to 30 what was the quality of your first pet and where does your family vacation regularly yeah I feel like Google is testing new security questions here how I imagine my 20s as a kid partying drinking staying out all night but what my twenties are actually like keeping a close eye on the birds in the backyard because I'm pretty sure they are in a rival game that opposes the squirrels and I want to see how that drama plays out honestly having a gate son is like getting a french fry and your onion rings I didn't ask for it but hey I like these two being straight and getting hit on by a gay guy is like receiving a lot of money but in the wrong currency like wow this is useless right now but if I ever cross the border I'm gonna be one lucky guy when you start dating this superhot girl only to find out that she has an incredible personality and manages to help cure your depression and stays with you even though you have the body figure and muscle mass but toothpick and the personality of a saggy potato confused screaming so far 2019 has been like trying a new wine at first and they're like this is terrible but the bartender says just try it again so you do only to be like ah this is somehow worse than the first time and then the bartender goes yeah index you sparing the teeth the only job for which I'm remotely qualified is 19th century poet who is foppish and sensitive and cries the sight of a tree and writes passionate letters to the gardener's daughter and coughs blood into a handkerchief and dies at the age of 19 I love crested geckos because they have the expression of an animal who has exactly one brain cell that dings around their school I got with no screensaver oh boy it's the outro according to the rules I'm either supposed to put some generic EDM dubstep or act like a goddamn coke addicted youtuber pandering a nine year old but I don't think I can do that right now be honest with you anyways you know just check out my discord Twitter and gaming channel and yeah you know have a great day you know I'll see you all next time

Channel: Oz Media

Views: 1,236,195

Rating: 4.9616976 out of 5

Keywords: r/OddlySpecific, r/SuspiciouslySpecific, r/suspiciously specific oz, suspiciously specific, oddly specific, reddit, funny reddit, reddit cringe, comedy, reddit top posts, reddit posts, top posts of all time, suspiciously specific reddit, satire, suspiciously specific oz, best of reddit, reddit story, r/, reddit stories, top posts, r/suspiciouslyspecific, r/oddlyspecific

Id: BNePpG7DFzY

Length: 11min 53sec (713 seconds)

Published: Fri Aug 02 2019