r/SuspiciouslySpecific | How to Properly Eat Pringles

when you're leaving school in your dad hits a speed bump but you and your brother never remember to speed bump being in front of the school and today while hyped-up a more caffeine than my doctor would ever recommend I bring you our slash suspiciously specific when your grandfather with Alzheimer's hide your playstation 4 danceable you did it you took everything from me I don't even know who you are top ten Adil B's I've been arrested in rated by how good the floor was for doing the warm up James 33 about James I like long walks on the beach my girlfriend until the LSD wears off and I realize I'm just dragging us still a mannequin around a Wendy's parking lot that's one hell of a high to come down me cutting myself off from the boys I choose being lonely as a coping mechanism as my psychological well-being takes a perpetual downturn alright guys the only way to chat without the government being able to track it is to all go I'm modern warefare to private servers and write our messages on the wall and bullets winning and grand on a roulette table only to be given $100 Amazon gift card because tonight is an annual charity event put on by both the casino and your girlfriend's Church but she didn't tell you but hey at least you get the satisfaction of knowing that the $320 you drop tonight is going to the pro-life fund I mean you are pro-life aren't you you're right bro my teacher telling security was me who caused her to have a breakdown me who just for just asked what does it mean me who just as what does being fertile bean six-foot-four must be their man from Brussels I said do you stick in my language and he just smiled and handed me a Vegemite sandwich wait hold on there's a mechanistic worse things that can happen while skydiving for parachute fails three eagle pecks your eyes out too you see your house from the sky and notice your parents making love in the garden and one you're blown off-course and land at a friend's wedding you said you couldn't attend because you're ill me in the bottom level of purgatory spending all my time explaining Yogi Otis sumbitch from the 1300s whoa where does image come from where couples who call each other king and queen go to fight in public for those of you not Americans the worst times you could ever go to a Walmart is at 5 p.m. or 10 p.m. or anytime really not only do people suck but I go out of your way and you park in the very back of the parking lot away from everyone not a single soul in sight you are literally four football fields away from everyone it's a no one's interest to park next to you yet when you come out there's always one her in his car who decides to park next to you in door ding your car being caught smart because you have a variety of information on different subjects but in reality it's all surface level intelligence and you don't feel like you're really good at anything I didn't realize we took a step into me IRL here how many balloons do you have to tie to a baby to make it float away let's say the baby is four months old you had a rough night you paid $24 for a watered-down gin and tonic plus tip drunk texted your boss call them daddy fell asleep on the train woke up in a Braintree and that's how I got promoted beat you in monopoly by $1 yet want you to let them sleep over when their house brings down like just stay at one of those hotels on boardwalk since you own all the property obviously the environment down here is all soft the ceilings salt the forest salt the walls are soft and to an extent the air saw the scariest sound is coming home from work taking off your shoes popping a beer sitting down and suddenly hearing I think the air filter needs to be replaced and the trash needs to go out tonight can we have different mothers house the fan blades need to be vacuumed but I don't know how can you do it please we need to sell the house because we need one more room even though you're waking up alone in your own room for the last 10 years and praying for the sweet release of death and the kids were supposed to do their chores but they didn't but they're at my mom's house so I guess you'll have to pick up the slack makes my skin crawl every time I hear those sounds in nature you okay bro an apparition appears in your room alongside more successful looking down beginner of yourself operation and this is what you would be doppelganger oh my god spare me these twisted vision Spectre I've learned my lesson both vanish hey uh what the [ __ ] if you have a powerful engine in your car you can get home at night more quickly which means you spend more time with your children which means they're less likely to grow up as glue sniffers if I drop my hammer on a job site and follows 30 feet on to someone's head is that involuntary manslaughter or would osha step in and protect me cuz he didn't wear a hard hat on a sidenote when I first read this I thought he said hamster so I was I was really confused the idea that the ideal beachbody just means being thin or buff is so unimaginative surely the ideal beach body would have a powerful lobster claw arm flaps to act as a windbreak and as sand repellent anus if you ever find a genie and you're really craving a dessert that looks like this do not say I'd like a lifetime supply of raspberry crowns well this is in fact the name of the pastry it's also the name of a species of wasps provement for some reason the genie being a nasty trickster will no doubt give you a bunch of wasps and for my third wish I have like a bunch of raspberry Crown's raspberry crowns you say granted dogs are welcome in this hotel we never had a dog that smoked in bed and set fire to the blankets we never had a dog that's still our towels and played the TV too loud or had a noisy fight with his traveling companion we never had a die that got drunk and broke up the furniture so if your dog can vouch for you you're welcome to okay so um what if someone stole the Google Maps car and took pictures of their dick but the guy who drove the car was too scared to tell his boss there's somewhere on Google Maps there's a picture of a dick is there something you need to tell us now I'm just saying like like what if somewhere on Google Maps there's a picture of my definitely I do just-just-just I'm wondering after eating 37 olives straight of the jar while standing in front of the refrigerator at 134 a.m. to 12 a.m. going back for more Olive creepypasta titles are either like The Watcher or something like why you should never take your girlfriend in the basement of an abandoned military amusement park in Wisconsin between the hours of 5:00 p.m. and 11:00 p.m. what's your most memorable highschool experience alright mine is when this girl faked a pregnancy to trap her boyfriend faked a miscarriage faked having a baby told everyone she was actually infertile then got pregnant with someone else's baby and then ate them oh my god Jesus Christ me aged 12 on omegle video chat to a gap on my mom's laptop trying to see if One Direction is secretly trying to talk to fans while an old man tells me to take off my clothes how to correctly eat Pringles let's stand for two to three hours rinse off all those nasty spiders peel away it's dead metallic shell with your dominant hand activate your secret thumb you'll want to get a really good grip on these bad boys with your pathetic hand allocate your Ruhlman's lot this is the joy that makes your mouth so small and useless you've reached your full potential I knew you could do it you're so smart and beautiful enjoy a good snack mom your grandpa would be so proud he's smiling down on you from heaven my grandpa a Nazi war criminal who's seen me shine see me shoot roped awhile Luigi had died worse you know when you download Witcher 3 from an unknown source bytes of [ __ ] I came looking for copper and I found gold the teacher threatening to call my parents me it's stuff that people assume you're pregnant just because you post a photo of a positive pregnancy test they just immediately think it's yours and not that you fished it out of the neighbors trash can because you're a creep with an empty womb had a realization in a dream I just had that this isn't real and I can just do whatever I want so I started shrinking the face of this guy that was talking to me and then once it got real small I woke up sleep paralyzed I was given godlike powers over the universe by realizing it it's all in my head and the first thing I did was use them to torment the nearest man and the actual God woke me up and put me in a five-minute timeout to lay frozen and think about what I've done my mom yelling at me for eating my younger diabetic sister's food me confused and hungry and unaware that it was supposed to be for her since there was no indication and it looked like a normal TV dinner we should all be thankful that auntie thunderstorms with flashes of extreme darkness during the day followed by loud high-pitched screeches don't exist what the actual actually no I wanna see - very Christian friends at Bible Camp oh my god let's all go around the circle and say the name of every person we've ever wanted to kiss me a very closeted bisexual 11 years old and visibly shaking not unless everyone gets real cool about a bunch of stuff really quick a very is probably at least one white guy adopted and raised in China who speaks English with a Chinese accent and strangers just assume he's a total [ __ ] me right now she looks like an old Ukrainian woman who lost her son Dmitri in the war and now sits by the side of a weary road less traveled selling potatoes for a very modest price some of y'all eat never been called baby or sugar by an elderly black lady about she holds you outside in the Walmart parking lot while you sob on a Sun of cheese burger at 2:47 a.m. and it shows hey thanks for making to be outro don't forget I have a discord in Twitter that exists and also what do you guys think about me doing a gaming channel I've been kind of debating that for a little bit anyways thank you for watching do the casual YouTube stuff with the subscribing the liking and the commenting and all that stuff you know anyways see you next time

Channel: Oz Media

Views: 1,218,982

Keywords: reddit compilation, satire, funny reddit, subreddit, reddit cringe, suspiciously specific, reddit, comedy, r/suspiciouslySpecific, r/suspiciously specific

Id: t1_2EzXQ2Yk

Length: 12min 54sec (774 seconds)

Published: Fri Jun 28 2019