ROBOCOP - REMEMBER THE TITUS

Oh Robo [Music] [Music] whenever I make a video on a shitty fps Gabe or anything like that I got to check to see if GGG bad lives already did a video on it and sometimes he has you know dudes been around a while imagine how happy I was when I found out he hadn't done bad day LA or from dusk till dawn but there's always gonna be some overlap like unreal - or blood - or a capstone game and I was so happy to find that he didn't even play the matrix levels intact war and then I played them and I'm a worse more broken person for doing so long story short good channel a gentleman and a scholar but you're in the dungeon now and we cut deep to show you all the horrors that lay under the surface the malformed to protest the horrific and sometimes you get a game and you boot it up and a few minutes into it you're like yeah this is an episode Robocop the legend the hero the actual Jesus allegory no seriously Paul Verhoeven's said so see he's resurrected he walks on water I'm not making this up they made a lot of Robocop games back in the 90s and there's a Robocop FPS game why wouldn't there be we've seen aliens predators terminators judges Dredd but in 2003 we finally got a Robocop game from developer Titus games who you may know from Titus the Fox or let me see they made a super band game but it's probably not that Superman game oh no no it's that one then there's no time to waste you may not have heard this before but this game isn't very good and Carmageddon 64 [Music] [Music] so really their abilities in the art of awful games are legendary I don't know this is six years after Superman 64 and on different systems this came out on xbox but we're playing the PC port what could go wrong well for starters let's look at the menu you know you're in for a shitty port when your menus work like console menus and you press ENTER to select something and backspace to go back it's not a big deal I guess but backspace why not escape like every other [ __ ] game ever there's no video options whatsoever you have to select a resolution before you play and you get 16 bits per pixel rather than 32 like well I think every game I've ever played after 1998 good job on that default controls aren't WASD in 2003 giving them the benefit of the doubt they're almost 5 years late on that no adjusting mouse sensitivity no video options the game gave me the option running in widescreen but I don't think it was designed for that we'll just jump in normal skill like always we get the patented Robocop news footage - the actual people you're used to seeing in the movies okay I get it this is a game it doesn't have budget I'll allow it in politics the electoral campaign for mayor of neo Detroit was launched this morning by incumbent mayor Thomas Crawford during his kickoff speech the mayor sought to reassure his constituency by enumerate in the measures he would take to halt the skyrocketing crime rate of neo Detroit I thought that's what Robocop was for he don't take no [ __ ] or bullets or nothing invincible cyborg Jesus Charles Bronson hey Robocop doesn't look too bad this all looks fine so far I don't think it's fair to say that Robocop's animations are stiff since well Robocop before the mission you can look at info and evidence we've got James Estefan 48 years old head of research at OCP that's Omni consumer products for the uninitiated I'm sure they're behind whatever's going on they always are here we go right into downtown for each mission you get primary and secondary objectives primary is the stuff you have to do and the game could give a [ __ ] about the secondary here we have to restore order in the neighborhood which means blowing away some creeps secondaries evacuate civilians in arrests 10 gangsters arrests now they're gonna be shooting at me so arrest huh [Music] you are under arrest that was easy first Punk I see gives up yeah this screed is a best Robocop highlights targets and not just criminals criminals get highlighted in red then blue when they give up civilians are always highlighted in blue and pickups get highlighted in green you might be forgiven for thinking this is an n64 game because the graphics are not good models are low poly textures are small honestly it looks like if somebody took Goldeneye and ported it to PC maybe added a few details here and there and some particle effects but it's ugly you're up against criminals that barely scratch you with bullets that checks out your Robocop the whole point is that a few dicks with shotguns can't blow them apart you can zoom in your gun is extremely accurate you can lock onto targets which might have been useful if you had an xbox controller but I have a mouse even if it is a little sluggish the targeting is a little obnoxious but this seems like a faithful recreation of Robocop you're slow a bullet sponge you basically just trudge around and shoot gangsters you have a shield and power power is health by the way shields you gets by picking up these wrench things and you get power by eating baby food that Robocop voice isn't even bad he doesn't have nearly enough lines but we can forgive that this isn't Superman 64 levels of bad you're supposed to be able to get people to surrender with non fatal gunshot wounds but there's a couple problems with this shooting someone in the head can easily kill them the enemy AI is really really dumb location based damage is definitely glitched because I shoot this lady in the head and she's ready to be arrested it's time for peek Robocop we're gonna try to shoot somebody in the dick your move creep you're surrounded by a dozen criminals all shooting at you from rooftops catwalks windows and it would be extremely frustrating if their weapons did any real damage there's guys with mini guns and they're a joke I mean it is the first level you have to clear the way into a tunnel and how else would you do that except a cartoon dynamite bomb in future Detroit I guess it isn't future Detroit anymore whenever Robocop picks up ammo he says ammunition regardless of what ammo it is so learn what these pickups are the game's not gonna tell you whenever you're near a civilian that you have to rescue old chief guy who unfortunately isn't this dude yeah okay some hobos but that's the job protect and serve of course I shoot all the bad guys and cool awesome congratulations Robocop your mission was a success looks like every level is gonna open with a news report a dangerous new drug has hit the streets of our fair city called brain drain okay so sometimes I have these real bad flashbacks they're called dissociative episodes CB 11 okay listen you know there's Batman Forever clip that I want no it's not it's the val kilmer one and jim carrey is the Riddler oh yeah it's awful but he says brain drain while he drains somebody's brain and I need you to put that into you can you do that just go to youtube and search for Jim Carrey brain drain Jim Carrey is an actor Katie he doesn't pay oh my god called brain drain according to police sources this plague will impact a large number of the city's drug addicts so the current drug addicts are gonna be drug addicts they're not shooting crocadilly yet right Robocop we just got some disturbing news several influential citizens of neo Detroit including the Chief of Police Commissioner John McDowell have disappeared John Mack owl okay according to one of our informants they've been kidnapped this guy even told us where they were holding them captive he says it's the city dump you need to get right over there and above all be extremely careful I don't like the smell of this case at all it's cute because it's a dump okay time to take care of business get the mountains back as you wish okay I get it old man I understand this guy's a serious [ __ ] now this is fine guys shooting at me from behind draw distance fog I can handle this you got this guy driving some kind of flame throwing robot landfill machine you don't even have to shoot the machine itself just the guy riding it it makes sense oh no it's one of those games where explosions are instant death if only I had a clip from Robocop that showed that he might be a little bit more resistant to explosions Katie why the [ __ ] did it explode anyway I shot the driver not the mech [ __ ] you game does the phrase police academy ring any bell hey look I got a machine-gun attachment for Robocop's arm Katie I need the beetlejuice again I know you kids seen it before but it makes me feel better more of those mech things coming out of the goddamn walls I think it's time to wreck some of this machinery it is being used for evil after all what does the phrase police academy ring any bell yeah shitty eighties comedies Robocop doesn't need the police academy he's programmed you dick what the [ __ ] even happened there is no way I was close enough to that explosion no I wasn't but there was a hostage hiding behind this machine old cop will tell you there's a hostage in the area and you better ignore all the shooter instincts to not shoot this barrel oh and there's these guys with flamethrowers who if you hit them in the wrong spot like in the shoulder or the chest they explode and you can't see that there's a hostage in this building and he's not coming out but since the location-based damage is [ __ ] shooting this guy anywhere is a gamble but I'm a pro so I found a workaround which is exploiting how broken this game isn't pressing the use key outside of the shack and rescuing the hostages at way then blowing the flamethrower guy away and here's another hostage they put right next to an explosive Merrill [ __ ] off finally I get through the first section of the dump on to the next the AI is somehow even worse there's times they won't even notice you're there the [ __ ] 7-foot chrome cyborg shooting everything [Music] this giant robot spider boss isn't too much trouble you know unless he launches a missile that might possibly hit 10 feet behind me Robocop moves way too slow to avoid this kind of stuff so just stay away from walls in general wait what I'm all the way back here you see this icon this one that shows up before a level transition you'd think that it would be a safe icon what would it be in a disk in that games you know typically do that it's not it so you're about to load the next level icon because there is no save icon because there's no saving in the middle of a level there's no saving in the middle of mission there's missions of the game and you get to save after you beat each one that's not just console [ __ ] because there's plenty of console games that had mid-level checkpoints by 2003 this is a special kind of [ __ ] so if you die say ten seconds away from the end of the mission in the city dump you go back three maps and have to rescue all those hostages mode out every week ass criminal that poses no threat to you and avoid every explosion that might come your way you know in an FPS game and once you get to the third part of the mission the game sets you up to get [ __ ] over there's a guy with a flamethrower in this towel right next to these three explosive barrels [ __ ] that does the phrase police academy ring any bell and the next mission is easy hey somebody's behind that door and they have quake3 socket launcher I know it's River sound effects library but they should have tried harder hey look it's ed 209 I'd be shocked if ed - I didn't make an appearance and he fires rockets at you but since you're at the beginning of a mission it doesn't really matter if you die I know what you're thinking Sibbi you [ __ ] up and you're right I did it's not the game's fault well it is the game's fault because it's a [ __ ] port but it's my fault for not realizing until the third or fourth mission that it's because I'm playing on super duper Hardware that this game wasn't meant for so these explosions they shouldn't be as deadly and these particle effects they're all [ __ ] up but they shouldn't be to fix it I had to enable vsync but there's no graphics options in the game so I had to use a [ __ ] rapper to force these sakes so that it worked and you know what the particle effect thing that's absolutely correct the explosion damage still [ __ ] it's slightly less [ __ ] with vsync on but it's still [ __ ] fun fact I didn't talk about the grenade launcher yet this is how it works with vsync off this how it works with vsync on [Music] [Music] it's very professional to tie your games physics to the frame rate just ask Podesta oh yeah and even with vsync on the animations are still terrible another giant robot boss with missiles and of course it [ __ ] kills me the first time and of course the giant robot doesn't immediately explode when you kill it no it takes ten seconds oh you mean stop a human sure is he get a [ __ ] allahu akbar me no he takes a couple of shots in the arm and gives up next mission is at a Cathedral that split off from Detroit sure find whatever there's an open case about Edward de Barco here maybe we can get some info on him now according to director for not only am I not allowed to arrest OCP executives I'm not allowed to know what they look like their sex weight hair color race height age eye color you know all the stuff the news told me earlier with a picture the Cathedral map is a little more interesting to look at too bad it was designed by an idiot you have to go up this spiral staircase to hit two switches but you have to hit them in order the first one you have to drop onto a roof here which is above the room you started in and yes Robocop takes fall damage and yes the designers put in an area where you're required to take fall damage and no there's no feedback on it it just happens so you have to go up there twice for no reason really other than to waste your [ __ ] time oh and the enemies turn invisible now they're not any more of a threat really but they turn invisible so one switch activates another switch which opens a door over here which has room where you walk over a touch plate to move this alter so you can get into the catacombs and I'm guessing Detroit doesn't have any giant gothic cathedrals with medieval catacombs under them just a hunch oh joy a flash of blue light and death I guess God's finally decided to punish me it's about time now that's this thing whatever cyborg this is it jumps around faster than any other enemy and shoots blinding particle effects at you if you're extremely lucky it kills you in two hits but if you get blindsided by it at the start of a level well tough [ __ ] you're back to the beginning of the mission if one of these things is around you drop everything to shoot at it inst unlock it so it can't do whatever this attack is looks like magic to me I got a rocket launcher somewhere the rocket launcher I'm not even sure it's textured like it's just a solid color with a shiny chrome effect on it the AI is still stupid so let's play a game of chicken with it in this tunnel whose [ __ ] splash damage will win [Music] yeah I figured you know what's fun playing the same [ __ ] level ten times only to get to a [ __ ] unfair badly decide the area that keeps killing you and you have to finish the game to make a video the administrator has drafted a memo about meta humor used in videos that's [ __ ] discriminatory right there I want my lawyer for this nobody else here makes videos so that's got to be illegal CB 18 has started an informational cooking show all right boys and girls for this recipe with shitty these are lighter and a spoon and the adrenal gland of a small human and we all know what they use the adrenal glands for [Music] new fridge I mean there's not much more to talk about except this mine level it sucks after you get through the catacombs there's a mine that leads to a secret entrance to a lab but it's this huge confusing mess of water and tracks and caves and it sucks it's awful it's badly designed and you're thinking you know just follow the arrows and sometimes I might accidentally or completely intentionally shoot the arrows and they do this that's just [ __ ] great as far as I can tell you have a secondary objective to destroy these boxes and once you go around this whole maze to do that the last one spawns the keycard you need to exit and there aren't any one-hit-kill cyborgs in this level so there's nothing to kill you it's just boring and shitty and I wander around for like an hour trying to find out where the [ __ ] I'm supposed to go the game is generous enough to give you a save point afterwards cuz you'll be dead not long into the next mission you walk in you get this ray gun and it does good damage takes five or six shots two down one of these horrible things and it's animated really poorly look at this [ __ ] what is this [ __ ] quake 1 this is 2003 and upon rigorous closer inspection what the [ __ ] is this [ __ ] so my working theory is that if you step in front of this door that's a trigger to spawn this thing and if you step on it again it D spawns that thing and if you step on it again it responds that thing why your trigger would be a toggle for a monster ambush that isn't an ambush because it's supposed to be there but the timings off because you can see it's not here when the door opens and so his play this that he uses television to take people's brains and at the end he thinks he's Batman but then he's never mentioned again stupendous constitute was in Batman and Robin when they sneak out listen freeze so we still there what I'm trying to say is that boy I'm walking down this tunnel cuz I got to get the keys to the faster boat yeah the fast boat you know a faster boat and the key is over here and this giant digging machine is here so I wonder what could possibly happen when I walked out now that's it that's the whole thing it's an easily escapable situation that wouldn't fool a child and the wheels don't move and the tread doesn't move and when these rocks fall they sound like shattering glass the fast boat fast boat takes you to an oil rig you know off the coast of Detroit and once you get inside thing [ __ ] oh yeah Edward DeMarco just got elected and Robocop killed him totally newsflash Robocop who until now has held the total trust and respect of the city has just assassinated Edward DeMarco the mayor of neo Detroit the security guards responsible for protecting the mayor were unable to act faced with Robocop's murderous rage you didn't even see this there's no footage and I'm feeling the Detroit Police Department can safely say that Robocop was at an oil rig at the time since Robocop has liked video and trackers and [ __ ] so it doesn't matter you're not on the run or anything not like when Robocop got framed before and all the cops shot him and now Robocop we don't have much time we're all with you and we know it's not your fault and now you're going into the OCP building to take on the mind which controls all of the drug called brain drain and you get a lightning gun that looks shitty but does a ton of damage I know because the other cyborgs have it but it attaches to your arms so you lose the machine gun then you run around this ring and disable these computers and get on the elevator and that's it you're at the final boss arena and the final boss is an embarrassing mess did you guys know this was Titus his last game cuz they were bad at making video games and it only took [ __ ] 20 years for anyone to notice this final boss I don't know this is the kind of design incompetence that shouldn't happen it's so fundamentally stupid okay so when the game doesn't want you to move it'll lock you in place and you have to sit and watch while this robot gets picked up by the cyber tentacle that clips into the floor all wrong and takes it away and it'll come out of one of the four holes in the wall and it does this thing where it sweeps the area but most of the arena is completely off-limits from it you could stand behind it and it won't get you and what you're supposed to do is stand right in front of it you shoot these little weak spots that appear I don't know sometimes whatever it takes [ __ ] ages even when it hits you and it knocks you around it doesn't really take too much health off it doesn't even show its weak spots every time you have to wait and wait and wait until it starts randomly using lasers or one time that one hit blue energy stuff from before that it used exactly one time this boss is easy right but it seems to take forever I played it three times I beat it the first time but the second time he got me with the blue [ __ ] and I know what you're thinking why don't you have to play him again if you beat him the first time because once he's dead it activates the self-destruct sequence and you have to disarm it and how you disarm it is entirely based on trial and error you have two minutes and six consoles you have to put one of the six codes into each console you have no hints as to which code goes where so you have to guess you guessed wrong on a console three times and all of them re armed and the codes change every time you play so you can't write them down and do it later that's the real final boss of the game a [ __ ] completely out of nowhere puzzle section it's harder than the actual final boss and it killed me as many times [Music] [Music] I spent 40 minutes play in this one section you get a save point before it thankfully but most of it was waiting for the boss to do something [Music] oh I guess that's it the revelations of Professor Esteban rocked our community like a bombshell the scientists who worked in the highest of secrecy for OCP brought forth evidence implicating the directors of OCP and the assassination of neo Detroit Mayor Edward DeMarco it turns out that Omni consumer products who serve as the antagonists of the series are evil Robocop is good shocking this game is terrible maybe not Superman 64 terrible but I mean releasing this piece of [ __ ] in 2003 even on the Xbox that's not gonna keep your company afloat I don't know how they survived the 90s with those n64 games speaking of companies that shouldn't still be around because they put out broken [ __ ] Bethesda is that okay is that okay for end of the episode don't buy Fallout 64 [ __ ] I forgot the most important clip Katy I'd buy that for a dollar [Laughter] [Music] you

Channel: Civvie 11

Views: 743,760

Rating: 4.9355831 out of 5

Keywords: cv11, civvie, civvie 11, civvie11, civvie's dungeon, robocop, titus games, superman, superman 64, review, recap, entertainment, comedy

Id: 7FQ9gCtK0Bk

Length: 27min 16sec (1636 seconds)

Published: Sun Nov 18 2018